13 | Is Your Honest Emotion Too Much for God? What Lament Teaches Christian Women About True Connection

Have you ever cried... and then felt ashamed for crying?

Maybe you poured out your heart to someone you trusted - a spiritual leader, a friend, even God - and instead of being held in your pain, you were told to have more faith, pray harder, or just get over it. Or maybe you've learned to hide your struggles altogether because somewhere along the way, you started believing that your pain was proof something was fundamentally wrong with you.

If you've ever felt like expressing honest emotion meant you were spiritually weak, or if you've been waiting for others to notice you're hurting while never actually telling them you need help - this episode is for you.

 

Episode Description

If you've been hiding your heart because you thought your pain made you unlovable, you're not alone - and you're not damaged goods. Today we're exploring one of the most devastating hidden barriers of religious trauma: the belief "I'm Unlovable."

Through Debra's deeply personal story - from being told her grief was spiritual adultery to discovering God's inexpressible love in sacred sorrow - we'll uncover how religious environments can silence women's pain and teach them that honest expression equals weak faith.

You'll discover an ancient language of worship that was stolen from you but has always been yours - the practice of lament - and learn why your pain doesn't repel God but actually moves His heart toward you.

This isn't about becoming less emotional - it's about discovering that nothing you feel is too much for God, and that your wounds don't make you damaged, they make you beautifully, achingly human.

 

In this episode, you'll discover:

→ Why hiding your pain and minimizing your needs keeps you disconnected from authentic love - and how to recognize when you're doing it

→ The ancient practice of lament - bringing your unfiltered heart directly to God without cleaning it up first

→ How God's ḥesed (loyal, covenant love) meets you in your deepest places, not because your pain disappeared but because you've encountered His presence in the middle of it

→ The difference between being unloved and being under-nurtured - and why this reframe changes everything

→ One simple practice to start bringing honest emotion to God each day and watch for the moment when His inexpressible love breaks through

 

Healing Truth

Your pain doesn't make you unlovable. It makes you human. And God's ḥesed - His loyal, covenant love - is specifically for humans in all their beautiful brokenness. You don't have to be healed to be loved by Him. You don't have to have it all together. The woman who brings her whole, broken, furious, grieving heart directly to God - she's not someone you have to become. She's who you've always been, waiting to be remembered beneath all the hiding.

 

Ready to go deeper?

Discover your personal healing path: Take our free Religious Trauma Assessment at ReligiousTraumaQuiz.com and uncover which of the 12 hidden barriers might be shaping your relationship with God, yourself, and others. You'll receive a personalized report plus my complete Essentials Starter Kit - including my book He Is Enough, Truth Over Tradition mini-course, live reading circles, and access to our supportive community - all completely FREE as my thank you for taking this brave step.

Transform your story completely: Join the Coming Home Journey at TheComingHomeJourney.com - a six-month guided experience to unravel religious trauma, instill God's truth, and create your new story alongside women who truly understand. Learn the language of lament, discover God's divine principles, and step into the freedom you've been longing for. Get all the details at TheComingHomeJourney.com.

 

About Debra

I'm Debra Schafer, spiritual healing coach for Christian women and founder of the Healing Religious Trauma Circle. For over seven years, I've walked alongside women who love God deeply but feel exhausted by religious performance and pressure. I know this path personally - I've lived the devastating loss of being told my grief was spiritual failure - and I've seen what happens when women finally bring their unfiltered hearts to God: they discover they were always lovable.

 

Listener Love

If this episode helped you feel permission to bring your whole heart to God, would you share it with someone who needs this gentle truth? And a quick review on Apple Podcasts helps more women find their way to healing religious trauma and discover that their pain doesn't make them unlovable.

This isn't surface-level faith advice. It's soul-level restoration for Christian women healing from religious trauma who long for inner peace, spiritual healing, and the ability t