August 3, 2024 • 49 mins
For their first listener-suggested case, Chris and Brad return to the stomping grounds of serial killer Israel Keyes — Alaska — the home to, apparently, many prolific killers. While Brian Smith, (unassuming name for an ungodly human), doesn’t leave a trail across the continent like his fellow Alaskan psychopath, he is found with a stash of memory cards holding horrors beyond the imagination. Join the Hear No Evil hosts on a horrific case that begins with one brave prostitute with a very special skill set.
Thanks for the suggestion Amy!
Tune in for an unforgettable episode that proves sometimes, reality is more terrifying than fiction.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I'm Brad. I'm Chris. And this is Hear No Evil.
Music.
This bitch actually thinks I want him to do the intro. What a stupid asshole.
(00:31):
Nice i want to come in with some uh music right there just like the uh csi like
what do they do yeah yeah that would be nice.
They always have like the hard one-liners you know like when
somebody's found you know murdered or whatever
they're like she's now gonna make it to prom mom oh
(00:53):
that's that's
csi miami oh okay
oh yeah i was way off yeah yeah i said csi i don't think i said anything after
that i thought you said ncis fuck i don't know what i said dude i don't know
what i said five seconds ago there's too many letters there's two let's just
face it guys there's too many letters there's fbi stupid fucking murder shows right yeah just like the
(01:18):
one we're doing right now yeah do
better csi do a podcast you fucking losers they probably do with your fucking
red hair and your stupid glasses they probably do that is miami that is miami
yes yeah i can't remember that guy's name that's gonna come to me but yeah fuckhead yeah q the who,
(01:40):
good shit though good song you fooled again oh man you asked that question the
other day about like what songs for the intro that that would be top that would
be up there oh yeah you know that was actually going to be my mental mouthwash
question oh well let's just put a pin in that then.
Let's put a pin in it let's put a pin in it i'm pinning it dude we'll circle
(02:02):
back around because of that one i would probably just listen to the intro and
then turn it off because the show sucks but in my opinion but all right let's
let's let's get into it man where you,
You ever been to Alaska? Have I ever asked you this before?
No, not Alaska I don't think so You've asked if I've been many places I think
Nebraska Michigan Michigan, definitely There's one west coast one,
(02:27):
not too Utah, I think, right?
Wisconsin We've been to Is that the horseradish place?
Yes Yes, with the girl The girl with the boy arm.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, was it like,
it wasn't Utahville, was it, it's like, it had a weird name, it was like, God,
(02:49):
I can't remember, we have a Utahville here, I know we do, I know,
that's why I keep saying the wrong thing,
but yeah, I got, somebody actually made fun of the way it was pronounced on
the show, because this person listens to our show, and she's from Wisconsin,
oh, yeah, and, oh, Claire, oh,
(03:10):
Claire, it was like ah claire oh what i
say something like you claire or something like that fuck
out of here i don't know how to say it like yeah at least i'm out here trying
i mean i i don't know i think maybe maybe it is i don't know i i but i got like
i think i i it was like a tiktok that we did about the show and it had you saying
(03:32):
you claire and like i got it was a bunch
of like laughy emojis like how's it
pronounced i don't know i've never been i
would say i would say like au claire maybe au
claire because it's spelled e-a-u yeah you yeah au claire au claire oh fuck
it you know claire i'll tell you what if i fucking say it like you know what
(03:56):
i'm talking about yeah i'd be like oh euclair that's a different place no it's
the same it's It's the horseradish place,
okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Horseradish capital of the world.
That's right. And it's got a population of 70,000, so nobody cares.
Sorry. Sorry, Eau Claire.
Sorry, Eau Claire. I mean, I care. I actually like horseradish, but.
(04:17):
Who cares about you, Claire? Nice. I love about you, Claire.
God damn it. What are we fucking learning? We're going to Alaska,
dude. We're going to Alaska.
Where the sun never sets or something. That is true. I think that's an actual fact.
No so we're going to alaska we're going to talk about a pretty
this one's fucking kind of rough man actually as
(04:38):
opposed to all those other fun ones that we did we're where the
guys just strangle one another and then jerk off in their
face that's those i
like those wholesome ones that we do where everyone like kids gather around
listen to what daddy did last night so if this is your first episode with us
just know that we did do one like that is yeah yeah let's go back and and and
(05:02):
research some of our more you know family-friendly content in the previous episode.
Gather around the fire, save it for Christmas Eve maybe, and open the gifts
and listen to some murder.
Some family fun with Chris and Brad.
Then he strung him up by the neck, by the chimney with hair,
(05:25):
and jerked off into his hair.
Santa Dennis Nilsson. God.
It was a white Christmas. christmas
oh i get it
that was a good one that was a good one i'm i'm
(05:46):
hot right now i am feeling it he's during i
wonder if during christmas i know if you haven't heard that episode then
you're not gonna get this but whatever during christmas he's got
that picture up on the wall you know the the the very
horrible one and he just the guy with the beard he just puts like draws like
a little santa hat on him and he's like he's jerking off to the santa we're
decorated yeah he's like in the holiday spirit the raft of the medusa such a
(06:10):
classic never forget that yeah
that was sick especially considering it's hanging above my bed right now.
That dennis nielsen has got taste i'll tell you what yeah i mean you can't argue that i'm not,
but this is all right do you know what an sd card is like for your phone sure
of course so this this This case was actually one of our email suggestions.
(06:35):
Amy emailed us and said, hey, this is a crazy one. And she was absolutely right.
I had never heard of this until I started. Really? We're taking emails now.
Yeah. So all that time I say shit at the end about like email hear no evil show
at gmail.com. People are actually doing that?
They are. Yeah. I mean, we got that one. We got the Norway one that says like,
fuck your parents or something like that. Yeah.
(06:56):
Oh, so it's two of them. Okay. Hey, guys. Thanks for the correspondence.
Correspondence um you're
no evil she suggested this one this is a
good this is a crazy one no you're good this is a crazy one so september 30th
right anchorage police they get a phone call and this lady is saying essentially
she found this sd card and she's like look somebody needs to come look at this
(07:20):
or take it there is a fucking murder on here there's a woman getting strangled and tortured.
Somebody in a fucking uniform needs to come get this. She says it's actually labeled,
homicide right yeah like
really fucking you know homicide now you
(07:42):
now you just said maybe i i missed it
because i'm trying to picture everything here but did you say like
where this person found this card i'll just
like get there just found okay okay okay yeah yeah i didn't
miss anything you're just no no no no you're just setting the
landscape right now okay and even when now
there's conflicting looking at stories here somebody some people say it
(08:02):
was labeled homicide at the marriott and
some people are saying no it was labeled homicide but in
the video she could tell it was the marriott because
the way that the carpet was like she's watching this crime happen and she can
see like the patterns on the floor and she's like oh fuck that's the the you
know the anchorage marriott or whatever like it's probably pretty noticeable
(08:26):
there's not a lot of shit there so so some Some people are saying that she labeled
it that way. Regardless, she turns it in.
Now, she had held on to it for a little bit. And I'm going to tell you the reason,
because you were just asking where she found it.
So she was a sex worker at the time. She was homeless and she was doing a job.
Some people said it's a date. She was on a fucking job. It's not a date.
(08:49):
And while the guy was getting out to hit the ATM, she was going through his stuff in his car.
And she saw the phone and she's like you know
what this this would be worth some money because i think at the time she was
pretty heavy on drugs but she was like fuck i'll pitch this phone and go get
some crack or some shit right well when she got to wherever she was at and she
(09:11):
kind of looked on the phone and saw the shit she immediately was like i need to turn this in but
like i said she was like i don't know i don't want to go in there they're like
how'd you find the phone she was like well i was you know out there turning
tricks and i fucking stole it
like Like, so, but, you know, she did the thing. She did the right thing.
Like, like, fuck that, dude. If you, you know, you see this shit on the phone,
you're not going to worry about, oh, you stole this phone from a fucking murderer.
(09:34):
Like, get the fuck out of here.
So that's how she got it. I mean, this makes a lot of sense to not to, you know.
Be smirched the good name of sex workers but i'm like the fuck knows what a
marriott carpet looks like you know yeah she's like oh oh i know what that is
that looks exactly like like best western pillow i've had my face in that many
(09:57):
a time this is she's like i don't know what,
you know good for good for her i'm surprised they didn't like pull her in for
like fucking consulting you know they're like they're like all right anytime
we get some video shit like Like, we're asking you anything with a hotel.
You know, like, they're like, we found this murderer.
We got him. We got him in custody. He's got a key. We cannot tell where this key goes.
(10:18):
She's like, oh, oh, that's definitely the day's end. Right down the road. Room 12.
Yeah.
They put her own show out, you know, flips off the glasses.
CSI sex work. Yeah. Anchorage.
(10:41):
Oh, good for her. I'm just going to assume she does have her own show.
I hope so. She probably got a podcast and it's crushing it right now.
Good for her. We should have her on. Oh, absolutely. Bump our numbers quite a bit. Hell yeah.
So now she admits at this point, she's like, listen, she was strung out on drugs. She's an alcoholic.
(11:03):
And she said, you know, later on in testimony, she's like, I was trashed for like two weeks.
I was i was high on drugs she said i watched this video and she's like within
30 seconds i was completely sober like it took like reality to a different level
she was like it was the most horrifying thing i'd ever seen all in all there
(11:23):
was 12 videos and 40 images on this sd card and,
it was literally a man torturing a woman and i'm talking about man like so some
of these people are We're going to play the sounds and shit like that.
We're not going to do that. If you want to see this video or you can't see the
(11:43):
video, if you want to hear it, you can hear it.
I will tell you right now, do not look this shit up. It will give you...
It'll make your stomach hurt. I had to listen to it because I'm trying to fucking
find out what's going on.
But I hated it, man. I wanted to turn it off like three times.
So the guy is basically, he's torturing this woman.
You can hear her muffled and gargling in the back.
(12:06):
And he's slapping her. He's choking her with his hands.
He's saying shit like, you live, you die, you live, you die.
And he's choking her and then taking his hands off.
And just fucking kind of teasing her with it, right? Okay.
Now it you know as if it's
not dark enough it gets even worse so this guy's psychotic he
(12:28):
starts saying shit like you bitch
you know i i'm trying to go get drunk you're ruining
my fucking night just die already then he
starts making these weird fucking noises he's like oh like
i can't even do it but they're like just sick weird
delirium noises you know
and almost like singing in some little tune like either like
(12:50):
twilight zone or some shit it's just
fucking weird and then he starts telling her you know fucking 200 years of evolution
and people don't know how to fucking die like you're gonna ruin it for my followers
so it almost sounds like he's doing like a snuff film like he's got some kind
of like dark web following right if you're kind of like Like,
(13:10):
what the fuck is he doing?
Yeah. And what year are we in? So this is 2019.
Oh, okay. Yeah. This is very recent. Yeah.
And now, so the girl watching the video, she said that she could tell he had
a very distinct accent. It was like a South African accent.
And when she gave it to the cops, they immediately picked up and they were like, holy shit.
(13:32):
Like, this is the guy that we had already been looking into. to.
So about a year before this, apparently some woman came to the cops and said
that she ran into a guy that was bragging about murdering some woman and he
had a real distinct accent.
But before that trial or that investigation could begin, the lady that came forward passed away.
(13:55):
Now, I don't have any more information on that, but the cops kind of just dropped it after that.
Okay. But do you remember this accent? Because, real quick, in Alaska,
a South African accent is fucking rare.
Yeah, I'm sure any accent is going to be rare. That's true, yeah.
South African accent is probably rare here too, right? I mean, I don't know.
(14:17):
Yeah, I mean, I don't even know if I could pick it out. I feel like it's going
to sound like almost Australian.
I don't know why. That's actually pretty close. Yeah, that was good. Yeah. Okay.
So is the assumption then that the man that she that this that the woman that
came forward, the prostitute, she slept with this guy then, correct?
(14:38):
Oh, yeah. I did something with it. Maybe give him like a fucking H.J.
Or Z.J. or something like that. But yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. An E.J. Yeah. An E.J. Elbow J.
Yeah that's whatever you're into man i'm not judging this is a whole alphabet worth of jays,
and okay so i mean i guess that my thought was like geez she must have been
like part of the sobering thing must have been like geez i was this close to this person
(15:02):
yeah no shit and like maybe i was about to be his next fucking yes victim right
like you know what was he gonna do with me like glad she stole the phone he
just took off because fuck that right yeah yeah i'm not gonna lie when i did
read that part was like Like,
you know, she was thinking, I'm going to take this phone. I'm going to go pitch it for some money.
Like she said he was getting out to go to the ATM. Like I'm assuming they get money.
(15:24):
So I don't know if the phone was worth more than she was charging or something like that.
That part kind of. Oh, yeah. You know, like she's like, well,
he's going to go get money. Like how much does she charge? Because she stole the phone for money.
You know, whatever. She was probably, you know, drunk and went and think it straight or whatever.
She was like, I'm just going to take this. i don't have to give him
a fucking zj and i could just take off maybe she
(15:45):
was just getting bad vibes you know maybe the gut was telling her
get out and she followed that
instinct yeah yeah like his
fucking accent she was like oh that's true yeah yeah yeah
bye what am i what am i gonna do with south african dollars anyways this is
stupid i can't even spin that shit here dick so this guy this guy's name was
(16:09):
Brian Smith what an absolute vanilla name holy vanilla name Brian Smith yeah.
Fucking idiot you hate
bryant's too isn't that right we've discussed that before yeah not
a fan i'm not a fan of the name at all and then
like your last name is smith like look if you're now if your
(16:30):
last name is normally smith that's fine but like brian smith like
can you be more fun like you said vanilla like it's
generic yeah yeah what
was that what was that one episode we did about the vanilla sex i don't know
god vanilla sex remember
the wood girl was like saying like oh yeah like yo she
said she hooked up with the guy and they were doing like dominatrix shit and
(16:52):
the guy was like nah it was just pretty fucking normal oh yes yes yes yes yeah
he was like he was like no no no that's not how it happened it was literally
just missionary and she was like no he beat the shit out of me and choked me
and i loved it and we did cocaine off each other and.
Unfortunately there's so much weird shit that we talk
about like trying to keep it straight it's just impossible at this
(17:14):
point it's just whatever like the last like two episodes
are and then after that just fades into like nothing you
know yeah it does i mean there's a few there's
a few standouts i think from the past i think dennis
nelson's probably gonna be hot in the memory for a while you know
i think he's gonna he's gonna be living up there the boy in the
walls the boy in the walls is definitely cool yeah yeah
(17:36):
yeah um but then again i just lose some of the specifics you
know i i don't know like if you had brought it up i
feel like i feel like that the normal sex one i feel like is almost the motion
lotion episode where they talk to the other girlfriend that may have been oh
that was one of them i mean that's a good no that's not the one i was thinking
of but that is another good one okay motion lotion malignato yes that I got
(18:00):
out of the fuck, but you're right.
Yeah. We talk about so much weird shit. It's like, well, I'm sorry.
Which murder are you talking about? Oh, there was somebody died.
That's weird. I mean, each episode sometimes has like a dozen murders in and
of itself, you know? Oh yeah. A hundred percent.
Exponential amount of murders going on right now. Big words.
We're going to have to keep a catalog of this.
(18:20):
Yeah. We should put them on like Spotify or something, but so,
so, so this dickhead, right? So he was, just a little background on him because
nobody really gives a shit, but he was in the military for a little bit.
He had like, yeah, exactly, right? Fucking asshole.
Joke, guys, it's a joke.
God, fuck. Handyman, he was like a handyman for different places.
(18:43):
And that's kind of how he got the job at the Marriott.
Like he was like a maintenance worker. and according to
his wife he sold old cameras online
which is fucking creepy when you think about what she
just found right or that lady just found now he was married okay so no surprise
there because all these fucking psychos somehow have a have a you know marriage
(19:05):
going on but he was married one year and he met his wife like online gaming
i don't know what game they were playing i'd be curious to find out but,
His wife actually probably was part of the reason he got to America because
she was like admin for immigration services for the U.S. Okay.
So I'm sure she might have maybe pulled some strings or whatever. But here's the kicker.
(19:30):
Pull some strings for your online gaming boyfriend. Yeah, no shit.
So the month he got legalized and immigrated over here, the same month that
he started committing these crimes.
Like he got caught with this because he gets caught right after this.
But it was like the same month. Like he wasted no fucking time.
(19:52):
He's like, oh, I'm a citizen. Time to murder.
So he was probably murdering over in South Africa, too, would be my guess,
right? That's what I'm fucking thinking.
And I'm glad you said that because there is some people are saying that these
are not official news reports.
It's like people on fucking different blogs and shit like that. but they talk
about how there was like the south african ripper
(20:14):
like the equivalent of that you know and that those
murders suddenly stopped around the same
time that he left yeah okay so it's like yeah you know take it with a grain
of salt but you're right i mean you don't just come over and you're like oh
alaska looks nice it makes me want to murder people and yeah yeah no it's not
that's a drastic fucking jump i mean i'd like to go to alaska myself just to
(20:36):
see if i get like the murder itch you know because i don't want to like rule it out,
immediately because i mean maybe anchorage alaska
is just maybe maybe just drives you to be crazy
i don't know you get off the plane and you're like oh god give
me a knife you're fucking you're like trigger finger
you're like oh god it's itching what our boy god i'm not gonna remember his
(20:58):
name this episode is just like a recap of everything we've done this is like
a clip episode you know like old simpsons episodes apparently but the the our
homie we just talked about him and again it's like three episodes now so i don't
remember him but the guy that ordered the americano.
Oh israel keys israel keys he was from alaska and he got murdered right it was yeah yeah yeah,
(21:19):
so alaska what are y'all doing yeah y'all doing out there there's not there's
barely a population out there what do they got like two cities they got like
anchorage and what's the other one i'm I'm just going to let you hang on that.
Go ahead. Son of a bitch. Here's another one.
I'm not saving you on that one because I don't fucking know.
Don't throw those alley-oops to me, motherfucker. I don't know. Whatever.
(21:42):
There's like two. There's like two big cities like top. And when you eat big,
I'm sure it's like, you know, 30,000 people.
So the fact that you have like now two horrific murderers in.
Oh, wait a minute. Fairbanks.
Okay there you go juno i was thinking juno yeah
fairbanks and juno yeah juno is the capital i thought but
(22:05):
the fuck i know anyways i think that was anchorage okay
probably yeah no doesn't matter yeah a bunch of
murdering fucking losers up there i'm gonna
hey whatever is like a education question i'm gonna go with you on that so okay
it's probably you know the two main exports apparently is like moose meat and
fucking murderers moose meat murderers episode name just did it for you so nice
(22:30):
look at that i was gonna call it you don't know if i got a knife.
Like the old judo bullshit,
so brian smith yeah old man joke for the day um so they arrest this motherfucker pretty quick right.
(22:50):
And now when they go to his house and you know
they get the search warrant they go in there and they find that there.
Is like bloodstains in the house as well oh
boy and right so they're like there's got to
be more victims right there's got to be something else going on they also find
and i'm just going to like throw this in the air and we're all
going to be pissed off they find a fuck ton of like
(23:11):
those sd cards but they haven't
released like what is on there or what they saw i'm assuming
he's not all of a sudden you know
like a gardener one day and then like mass murder the
next so i'm assuming all those fucking sd cards have people getting
murdered yes which just a whole nother side
note the dark web is fucking disgusting so because that's
(23:34):
what he was doing he was doing this shit for for people online oh and
just selling the cards i don't
know if he was selling the cars or if he had like like an evil only fans
like the dark web version of that where people like could like
subscribe to his shit and see you know him murdering
people because what what struck me and i
what i immediately thought like maybe this is like 2012 because
(23:57):
you said it was like 12 videos and 40 photos on
this card i'm like well shit dude like even i
mean nowadays even 2019 i'm sure you can fit like a thousand photos and like
yeah 500 videos or something like that so it just it that was my first why i
thought it was in the past because you're just like you're like yeah there's
(24:17):
like six pictures and they're grainy as shit but it's It's like this is probably
done on like an iPhone or something like that.
And well, I don't know if I don't know what the iPhone SD card situation looks like.
But, you know, to have so many kicking around, like, is he doing so much that it can't fit on there?
Well, not that he might just organize them that way. He might just organizing
it. OK, it might be a way to to not get caught. I don't really know.
(24:38):
But it could be like he's like, this one is this person, this one.
And just keep getting new ones. Right. Like, you know, for whatever reason.
Gotcha. He doesn't know how to create a folder on his phone,
I guess. It was like he's a fucking idiot.
I mean, an album can't add another folder, an album. I'm sorry.
There you go. Yeah. Well, I do a folder, but,
fuck this guy who cares what he does i think we're supposed to care because it's the point.
(25:04):
Moving on let's get a new guy whether it's an album or a folder like i do a folder fuck his album,
the uh the blood in the house like ended up
belonging to i'm gonna try to say this girl's name you
know i know i'm gonna say it wrong but her name
was veronica i fucking hate you her
name was veronica abachuk okay abachuk
(25:27):
now it's it's important to note that both of
these victims were indigenous like women
for alaska like so they were that was that me and so
they weren't you know a lot of people just say like they're not
well reported on now this one's getting a lot more traction because
of you know the fact that it's such a fucking horrific
(25:48):
crime yeah but knowing that like
the name pronunciation might be different so sorry if
i fucked it up but that's what it looks like apparently i can't
even say fucking wisconsin cities right so yeah i'm
not gonna say you know an indigenous woman's last name correct but
she was missing he also had murdered
her and he tells the
(26:08):
cut so he's sitting in there with the cops he's getting interrogated and as
they're like kind of wrapping up and going to leave because they're getting
all all the information on the first victim he's like oh do you guys want to
be famous i'll tell you about another murder kind of pulls that bullshit like
israel keys did yeah yeah yeah and he admits to the veronica murder and they
(26:30):
start getting the details on it and he basically tells them.
That one night when his wife was out he went
out and got her and i guess was paying her for you know
sex or whatever and brings her back to the
house and at one point told her
like you need to go shower you stink and she was
like fuck you no and so he shot her what he
(26:51):
said he said she pissed me off that she wouldn't shower so i shot her wow who
knows that's true i mean it could have been he just tortured the hell out of
her for a little bit but he just didn't want to say that i i don't really know
uh because later on this motherfucker goes like when he goes on trial of course
he's pleased not guilty so he confesses to all this shit and then says not guilty and And tries to,
you know, get a lesser sentence or some bullshit. Okay.
(27:15):
Yeah. That obviously doesn't work when you have a fucking video of you torturing
somebody for 20 minutes.
I, I got to say, and I know we talk about this a lot with these fucking defense
attorneys. Like this is their job, right? They have to do this.
I just give, guess what the fuck they tried to say like about this video.
Like, just give, give me like, if you were the defense attorney right now and
(27:38):
you were, you know, you're stuck with this piece of shit and you're like,
I gotta, I gotta do something.
What are you saying about this video to make you less in his sentence?
Oh, to lessen his sentence. Yeah, you're the different.
First thing I would say, okay, well, so, well, lessening the sentence means
that he's definitely done it, right?
Like, I'm thinking even before that, it's like, well, it's not him on the video.
(28:00):
You know, that'd be my first thing. It's like, well, that's not my client.
Clearly, like, you know, like, and you said, can you see him in the videos?
You can. And he's sitting there, yeah, and you can hear his stupid fucking accent.
Okay, well, that's his twin brother, father ryan
smith and yeah no i mean that
(28:21):
would be the stupidest thing is to you know that that i
could pull is that that's not him uh to lessen the sentence geez
tough job god you
know there's always the insanity thing obviously that's the
old standby but i'm assuming you're not going
with that fuck she self-defense self-defense
(28:41):
yes self-defense i like
it self-defense like she
attacked me so then i had to tie her up and torture her
with her smell her smell was so
pungent that it was i almost passed out yeah there you go i i don't know man
(29:01):
i don't know yeah so it's a tough it's a tough it's a tough go like you're like
what the fuck am i gonna say they tried to say that the woman so the woman's
name is valerie the one that turned in the sd card.
They tried to say that she did yes
okay she did some
ai fucking manipulation and put him in the video and made it like that and i
(29:25):
i don't i can't see like i've never seen the the jury's faces when they said
this but i would imagine they go are you fucking kidding me and i think i feel
like that's going to come up a lot though, like going forward with people.
I mean, unfortunately, it's probably going to be true though.
You know right no you're not wrong i mean they can't fucking
do that now like they can say oh this was you know chris called
(29:46):
and he fucking said all this fucking horrible nasty shit look
i got a recording and it's like ai fucking or
whatever you know well i i was going to bring that up as
as a possible mental mouthwash discussion point but
there was a teacher i believe it was a teacher that
got fired by because they figured
out that he did use ai to make it sound like
(30:08):
the principal at the school was saying all sorts of
like racist stuff and he just like he just didn't
like the i believe what i think it was a school
and it was an administrator that he just didn't like and was
trying to get him ousted that way but they were able to trace it back he's like
i did not say this and they were able to trace it back to this guy who had like
a vendetta with them and they figured it out you know that is some really fucked
(30:31):
up shit to do to somebody like scary man especially with the kind of shit that
we say online god damn i'm a ghost.
Just be nice to everybody man no enemies no enemies.
Dude i mean luckily i've
already fucking i've already made my bed with that shit they're like
chris said this i'm like yeah probably probably go fuck
(30:53):
yourself like yeah that's but you're
right i mean that shit's gonna come up a lot with people and and it's
you know god that's that's just a fucking horrible thing to do with
somebody because once it once it gets traction you
know what you're like oh so and so said this look here's the recording i mean
it gets on fucking the internet yeah instagram tiktok
it's fucking out there yeah and you know no
matter what you do and it's like we're not taking that down i mean it's impossible
(31:16):
yeah yeah you can't it's always
there so was that their
only was that their only swing that
was the only swing now i am going going to bring up this fact too so they part
of the defense was to say you know it wasn't him he had an accomplice like i
think they were trying to just get all the blame off of you know not all the
(31:38):
blame on brian smith which he does get all the blame but so they bring up this other guy now i,
This guy's name is Ian Callahan. This guy is currently not in jail,
okay, as we're speaking.
And after I tell you about him, you know, you're going to think,
what the fuck, you know, put this motherfucker behind bars too.
Can I ask a quick question before we move on to Ian?
(32:00):
Now, with this trial that he's pleading not guilty yet, don't they already know
that there's more than one, like, piece of evidence for murder?
So she this woman supposedly i mean
they went into his house and found all these sd cards with all these horrific
acts right yep are they not allowed to bring that in as evidence because how
could they say that this ai that she doctored if yeah so at the time they're
(32:24):
only using this video and the veronica's i don't know why they couldn't use
the other stuff at the moment now just to just to go ahead and jump ahead on
this one it doesn't work i mean he gets sure
99 fucking thousand years in prison nice but
they're just yeah 18 000 lifetimes possibility parole
after a thousand years but yeah so none of it works i mean they're just swinging
(32:50):
for the fuck i think i think this fucking case comes to your desk and you're
like okay we're fucked let's just say dumb shit like let's go out there and
see what dumb shit like almost like that scene on uh super troopers where they
pull the guy over and they're saying like meow like i'm just having
fun with it they're like ai generated uh say it twice say it four times ai generated
they're like oh you gotta get to five motherfucker he's like oh shit meow.
(33:13):
But uh so ian ian callahan or
calhoun yeah he this guy was like a death
metal drummer in alaska okay and
that's how him and in mr fucking veneno
smith met is over their love of death metal yeah
so you're i mean are you look i don't i don't know what separates death metal
(33:36):
from other metal like i like some rock i don't know the difference i've looked
up i've actually read different diagrams on all the different kinds of metal,
I know that there is a plethora of metal and I don't remember necessarily what
is in death metal as well,
but it's not supposed to be, you know, I guess it's supposed to be like cathartic
(34:02):
as opposed to worshiping death,
but I might be wrong on that.
Now so like you
know i like rock i like like i like deftones to sell that shit
which you know some of my friends that are big hard rock fans will
say that's soft rock and i'm like go fuck yourself so and that's fine
with me i don't i don't you know i'm not measuring my dick with the music i
listen to so yeah but i just did a quick search on death metal bands and just
(34:27):
see what pops up yeah you're seeing stuff like carcass you know bloodbath dying
fetus so So, yeah, like they're okay.
Now, I do see one called Giora.
I'm saying that so wrong. Now, I've heard them. They're actually really good.
So, I don't know. So, oh, my God. Goat whore. That's amazing.
(34:52):
My favorite. That's going to be my new favorite band. Anyway,
so just because you listen to
death metal does not mean you're a fucking murderer. But this guy sucks.
So, yeah, that is how they met was over their love for that.
Now, there is Facebook messages. I don't have them all, but I'm going to give you the rundown. Okay.
As Brian Smith is committing this fucking murder, he is Facebook messaging his little buddy, Ian.
(35:15):
And he's like, hey, are you up? Like, I'm having fun right now.
And he's like, oh, you know, I am up. Like, you must be having a lot of fun.
It's a real corny ass fucking text. But he says like, hey, I want to show you what I got.
Like, I got something that, you know, you're really going to like.
He's like, oh, okay. I get off work at this time.
Well, they end up meeting.
(35:38):
At later on where the cops find the body,
this guy's phone pings off of that location so both of their phones were in that same location,
and they're like oh man like you know that was awesome and like that and then,
even after the fact of this so it's believed
that he saw this dead body like you know brian showed him
the dead body that's what the messages are kind of conveying and then
(36:02):
later on he like the next day he's saying like oh or not
the next day it's a couple days later but they see some news stories about it
about a missing person and he you know ian is
texting him saying oh man i saw that like
i thought about you and you know i had to
i had to make sure you saw this and he's like wow it took so long you
know i wonder why and it it's just very very very
(36:22):
obvious that they fucking know like he knows what's going on and
he did not go to the police okay so i'm not
you know the guy didn't obviously help but he knew about
it like that's like if you're fucking telling me hey man i
murdered somebody and put him in the trunk and i'm like cool man have fun have a
good vacation yeah you know i just go on with my life like i'm just
i'm almost just as guilty right like you got to say something
no agreed so yeah i mean maybe
(36:45):
this guy's like kind of getting off on it himself or something is
that i'm guessing he might be.
Part of that like dark web community or whatever sure that's okay
there you go so that could
be how they found each other too like they say death metal but maybe it
was some other shit maybe that's like code for something but okay but
he is not in jail now there is some people out there like activists
(37:07):
and protesters that are like going in front of his house
and and basically holding you know
protests saying like you know they need to get this guy in jail they need to
do something they're not asking for much but they're like they want him to be
charged with something like you don't have to throw him in jail for life but
like give him at least a fine or like a slap on the wrist or you know hey next
(37:27):
time you You need to fucking say when somebody was murdered because it was very,
very obvious that you knew and that you're at the location like that.
Just you can't argue that, right?
Yes. Yeah. I mean, I'm assuming he was caught immediately after that murder.
Was that? Okay. All right. So that, I mean, if, if it weren't that case and
(37:48):
he obviously could have been like a, I don't want to say co-conspirator, but, but if,
if another person had been killed after that, then I would, I would say he certainly
could be held somewhat responsible at that point.
Yeah for that for that second one yeah yeah now do
do they know has he was he involved i
mean obviously it seems like when he said i'm having fun that
(38:10):
strikes me as like okay so ian knows that this
is what this guy does right probably yeah so might
he have known about other ones beforehand probably that's
the thing i you know i didn't get too deep into that like as far
as how how long they knew each other but you you
would think like let's say me and you met you
know two days ago and i'm like if i text you
(38:32):
go i'm having fun right now like you're not gonna know what the fuck that
means unless we'd already been talking about that kind of shit exactly yes so
he obviously was like yeah dude i fucking torture people and murder them on
on the web and dude's like fucking rock on you know like whatever and then he's
like i'm having fun he's like cool you know i don't know if that's i don't know
if that's how his voice sounds but fuck him too it probably does,
(38:55):
i'm a drummer for a dead metal band that you know fucking sucks probably oh
sure yeah just the louder the better that's right just scream musicality yeah
double bass pedals and yeah.
Just like oh that's right there you go,
well like like when we said death metal like i was thinking like guar and
(39:17):
like slipknot no you know yeah that's
like yeah that's yeah definitely not there's like
yeah i actually looked it up because i remember like i said i
remember looking at different things like where each one where
each metal offshoot came from like so
you got the death metal there's black metal speed metal
that's so speed metal you got some names you
(39:39):
probably recognize a little more like slayer and anthrax
yeah there you go yeah not that i know doom metal.
It's like black sabbath apparently glam metal
motley crew poison twisted sister you
know so yeah power metal all that sort of
thrash metal thrash metal yes yes and also metal
heavy metal new yes new but
(40:01):
it's like nu right it's not even new metal yeah
new metal that's when we're talking like corn and and
limp biscuit and stuff like that kind of so late
because what i thought like when people say like death metal like i was
thinking i was wrong because i was thinking heavy metal and that's like
that's some good shit like you're thinking like metallica and like
(40:21):
black sabbath like mega death mega death was the first
band that i thought of was like that's heavy metal like
yeah mega death you know and they were fucking cool as shit but yeah
fuck yeah death metal or whatever like sucking ass
like i'm not probably not a fan um i'm not
even gonna be on the record and say that i'm
likely not just i don't have to hear it i'm good i don't i don't think i need
(40:46):
to i've got plenty of fucking music i like and i'm good on that yeah yeah like
i don't have to see brian smith's videos to know that i don't want to see those
videos that's right put on my fucking pajamas and my you know know, my,
my slippers and listen to some fucking, you know, I don't know, fucking.
Cannibal Fleetwood Mac. You know what I'm saying?
(41:07):
Yeah. Uh, in a, in a, a twist of fate here.
I just remember that I have a friend from high school named Brian Smith.
So how does, how does Brian Smith from Anchorage spell his first name?
Oh, B-R-I-A-N. Okay. All right. This Brian was a Y.
So otherwise I was just about to send a message and say, where you be?
(41:33):
What are you doing? You up?
Are you having fun right now? You better be having fun right now,
Brian. He says, yes. Be like, fuck. Oh my God. I got to call the cops.
Well, no, cause he's in jail. he's in jail he's in jail he's in
jail and also i went to high school with him and i'm
not from south africa so i kind of
(41:55):
quickly ruled him out but i did i did glance i did while you
were just you know while you were discussing brian smith
i did take a quick look to see where my brian
smith was born just in case so you
know i will say it is if you guys you know if if
your friends come up to you and they're talking about like this
is the kind of shit they're into i mean turn them in that's not
(42:16):
even a question right like that i feel like we
shouldn't even have to put the bow on this one like you should just turn
them in you know if if if you're listening to this episode
and you were on the fence about it like one of your friends just
said some really fucked up shit and you're like should i yes just
just do it just do yes death metal turn
them in you know any normal person
(42:38):
would do that right i mean obviously this ian
guy was into it right so you
know it's not like he was like what should i do brian just
told me that probably without saying it that he murdered somebody
what do i do you know he probably wasn't worried about like getting
brian in trouble he was probably like yo that's pretty dope tell me when the
next dead body shows up you know right right well because he was saying i want
(43:00):
to see like i'll meet me here like he was into it and he he knew when he's like
i got something for you that i want to show you he knew exactly what the fuck
he was talking about like it went like a dick pic you know what i'm saying like it was a dead body.
I mean they probably did show each other's dick i don't know but yeah probably.
Death metal dick pick.
(43:22):
Here's my dick yeah i guess that's what they do holding little drumsticks.
That's right i used to real quick before we
before we got on this i i used to there's a
guy i mean he still is on my facebook and if i
would post like oh you know this concert's coming through or
whatever and it was you know rock ish like i said like
(43:43):
we just went through all the different fucking genres of heavy metal or
whatever the fuck ever and he'd always be like that's not
even fucking metal like that sucks
and i was like cool man so you know fuck
you okay like i'll just do whatever the fuck i want like
you don't have to come in and chime in every time i fucking like the
motherfucker wouldn't post on anything else that i have but i post
(44:03):
a fucking rock band he's like oh no that's this
shit you know that's soft rock and i'm like okay soft
dick like i don't give a shit like i'm
not posting this so you can fucking get off on the fact that your
music is fucking hardcore you know you i
can't stand anybody that just like pops onto your
your timeline just to
(44:24):
like start shit you know like if you're like hey here's what i accomplished
at my job right and you don't hear shit like here's something a family member
of mine did i just bought a new house or you know anything like positive this
is what life is and you know things Things are going okay or whatever.
And then it's crickets, right? From a certain cadre of people that you might be friends with.
(44:51):
And then all of a sudden you put one somewhat, not even controversial,
like you liking a certain thing. You liking music. An opinion.
Yes, exactly. And then all of a sudden it's like, boom, boom,
boom. Like, motherfucker, where'd you come from?
You know? Like, you've clearly been seeing all the other posts that like,
oh, just go to promotion today. Right.
Nothing crickets couldn't care less not a
(45:13):
like not a heart nothing bullshit right but
as soon as you're like oh well i enjoy uh the
the dulcet tunes of god smack like god smack sucks get the fuck out of here
you piece of shit like where were you my god no you're right and that's that's
called a uh it's called taking out the trash right so like i i've got this new
(45:35):
term man if If anybody says anything.
You know, on, on any of like, it takes social media.
Like if I'm on Instagram or Facebook, if somebody says something that I don't
like block, because you're not going to fuck it. And this is my time.
If I'm looking at my phone and I'm looking on my Facebook, I'm not going to
let myself get pissed off.
I pay for this phone, you know, fuck out of here. You're not taking up my time.
(45:56):
So you, that's a quick block, you know, because it's like, I probably don't
even like you. Like you're on my Facebook.
Like, that's not a big deal. you're you i follow you
on instagram like cool i don't really give a shit so yeah
i just get them the fuck out of here like thank you for showing up bye
man that's that's good i mean are they only man we're we're pretty far away
(46:17):
from the ian and brian love fest right now but are these people that you know
in real life as well or are they like only social media people no probably probably
real life but but again it's it's not necessarily that i know them like very very well like i see
him every day it could have been i knew him 10 years ago it could have
been i knew him five years ago we used to work together but regardless
if i don't have you on facebook or instagram that doesn't mean i don't fucking
(46:41):
like you or know you it means i don't want you comment on my shit i don't like
you that on that way you know like if i see you out in public i'm gonna be like
hey what's up but you know we didn't used to have facebook so what does it fucking
matter like and it didn't mean we weren't friends if we weren't fucking tagging
each other and poking the little like button.
No. True story, man. I think we've learned a lot.
(47:03):
This is about mental health. We do a lot about mental health right now.
That's okay. I think that's okay.
In a weird way, death metal just brought us together with our listeners.
So maybe death metal is the bridge to civilization for everybody. Wow.
I have to look into this more. So there you go, Tim, you motherfucker.
(47:23):
I just said something good about death metal. Get the fuck out.
All right, guys. So if you love death metal and you want to just recommend some
bands, go ahead and hit us up on hear no evil show at Gmail.
We're on Instagram. We're not on Facebook because we just kind of laid that out as to why.
(47:44):
And we're on TikTok. Right. So hit us up on any of those things and make sure
you hit the link tree because that will take us to the Patreon where you can
help support our death metal calls.
Right. For 599. we can sit here and
rant about music all the time and you can
get some extras some shows that we have not released to spotify
(48:04):
or apple or any of that shit and they're
actually really good so you want to go ahead and hit that up just like like
he said before skip one cup of coffee right and just join the patreon you'll
be good yeah all proceeds go to uh struggling metal bands that's right and i'll
tell you what if you if you skip starbucks in the morning and you're like ah
(48:26):
what What am I going to do?
And you're on our Patreon. Like, listen to one of these fucking shows on your
way to work. It'll wake you up. You will wake up.
So we are your audio caffeine, right? Like, we are fucking your ears with some
caffeine. You won't even need it. Tag team.
Just tag team in your fucking ears.
(48:46):
Wake up, motherfucker.
Audiogasms.
Music.
I'm Brad. I'm Chris. And this is Hear No Evil.
Music.
This bitch actually thinks I want him to do the intro. What a stupid asshole.
(00:31):
Nice i want to come in with some uh music right there just like the uh csi like
what do they do yeah yeah that would be nice.
They always have like the hard one-liners you know like when
somebody's found you know murdered or whatever
they're like she's now gonna make it to prom mom oh
(00:53):
that's that's
csi miami oh okay
oh yeah i was way off yeah yeah i said csi i don't think i said anything after
that i thought you said ncis fuck i don't know what i said dude i don't know
what i said five seconds ago there's too many letters there's two let's just
face it guys there's too many letters there's fbi stupid fucking murder shows right yeah just like the
(01:18):
one we're doing right now yeah do
better csi do a podcast you fucking losers they probably do with your fucking
red hair and your stupid glasses they probably do that is miami that is miami
yes yeah i can't remember that guy's name that's gonna come to me but yeah fuckhead yeah q the who,
(01:40):
good shit though good song you fooled again oh man you asked that question the
other day about like what songs for the intro that that would be top that would
be up there oh yeah you know that was actually going to be my mental mouthwash
question oh well let's just put a pin in that then.
Let's put a pin in it let's put a pin in it i'm pinning it dude we'll circle
(02:02):
back around because of that one i would probably just listen to the intro and
then turn it off because the show sucks but in my opinion but all right let's
let's let's get into it man where you,
You ever been to Alaska? Have I ever asked you this before?
No, not Alaska I don't think so You've asked if I've been many places I think
Nebraska Michigan Michigan, definitely There's one west coast one,
(02:27):
not too Utah, I think, right?
Wisconsin We've been to Is that the horseradish place?
Yes Yes, with the girl The girl with the boy arm.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, was it like,
it wasn't Utahville, was it, it's like, it had a weird name, it was like, God,
(02:49):
I can't remember, we have a Utahville here, I know we do, I know,
that's why I keep saying the wrong thing,
but yeah, I got, somebody actually made fun of the way it was pronounced on
the show, because this person listens to our show, and she's from Wisconsin,
oh, yeah, and, oh, Claire, oh,
(03:10):
Claire, it was like ah claire oh what i
say something like you claire or something like that fuck
out of here i don't know how to say it like yeah at least i'm out here trying
i mean i i don't know i think maybe maybe it is i don't know i i but i got like
i think i i it was like a tiktok that we did about the show and it had you saying
(03:32):
you claire and like i got it was a bunch
of like laughy emojis like how's it
pronounced i don't know i've never been i
would say i would say like au claire maybe au
claire because it's spelled e-a-u yeah you yeah au claire au claire oh fuck
it you know claire i'll tell you what if i fucking say it like you know what
(03:56):
i'm talking about yeah i'd be like oh euclair that's a different place no it's
the same it's It's the horseradish place,
okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Horseradish capital of the world.
That's right. And it's got a population of 70,000, so nobody cares.
Sorry. Sorry, Eau Claire.
Sorry, Eau Claire. I mean, I care. I actually like horseradish, but.
(04:17):
Who cares about you, Claire? Nice. I love about you, Claire.
God damn it. What are we fucking learning? We're going to Alaska,
dude. We're going to Alaska.
Where the sun never sets or something. That is true. I think that's an actual fact.
No so we're going to alaska we're going to talk about a pretty
this one's fucking kind of rough man actually as
(04:38):
opposed to all those other fun ones that we did we're where the
guys just strangle one another and then jerk off in their
face that's those i
like those wholesome ones that we do where everyone like kids gather around
listen to what daddy did last night so if this is your first episode with us
just know that we did do one like that is yeah yeah let's go back and and and
(05:02):
research some of our more you know family-friendly content in the previous episode.
Gather around the fire, save it for Christmas Eve maybe, and open the gifts
and listen to some murder.
Some family fun with Chris and Brad.
Then he strung him up by the neck, by the chimney with hair,
(05:25):
and jerked off into his hair.
Santa Dennis Nilsson. God.
It was a white Christmas. christmas
oh i get it
that was a good one that was a good one i'm i'm
(05:46):
hot right now i am feeling it he's during i
wonder if during christmas i know if you haven't heard that episode then
you're not gonna get this but whatever during christmas he's got
that picture up on the wall you know the the the very
horrible one and he just the guy with the beard he just puts like draws like
a little santa hat on him and he's like he's jerking off to the santa we're
decorated yeah he's like in the holiday spirit the raft of the medusa such a
(06:10):
classic never forget that yeah
that was sick especially considering it's hanging above my bed right now.
That dennis nielsen has got taste i'll tell you what yeah i mean you can't argue that i'm not,
but this is all right do you know what an sd card is like for your phone sure
of course so this this This case was actually one of our email suggestions.
(06:35):
Amy emailed us and said, hey, this is a crazy one. And she was absolutely right.
I had never heard of this until I started. Really? We're taking emails now.
Yeah. So all that time I say shit at the end about like email hear no evil show
at gmail.com. People are actually doing that?
They are. Yeah. I mean, we got that one. We got the Norway one that says like,
fuck your parents or something like that. Yeah.
(06:56):
Oh, so it's two of them. Okay. Hey, guys. Thanks for the correspondence.
Correspondence um you're
no evil she suggested this one this is a
good this is a crazy one no you're good this is a crazy one so september 30th
right anchorage police they get a phone call and this lady is saying essentially
she found this sd card and she's like look somebody needs to come look at this
(07:20):
or take it there is a fucking murder on here there's a woman getting strangled and tortured.
Somebody in a fucking uniform needs to come get this. She says it's actually labeled,
homicide right yeah like
really fucking you know homicide now you
(07:42):
now you just said maybe i i missed it
because i'm trying to picture everything here but did you say like
where this person found this card i'll just
like get there just found okay okay okay yeah yeah i didn't
miss anything you're just no no no no you're just setting the
landscape right now okay and even when now
there's conflicting looking at stories here somebody some people say it
(08:02):
was labeled homicide at the marriott and
some people are saying no it was labeled homicide but in
the video she could tell it was the marriott because
the way that the carpet was like she's watching this crime happen and she can
see like the patterns on the floor and she's like oh fuck that's the the you
know the anchorage marriott or whatever like it's probably pretty noticeable
(08:26):
there's not a lot of shit there so so some Some people are saying that she labeled
it that way. Regardless, she turns it in.
Now, she had held on to it for a little bit. And I'm going to tell you the reason,
because you were just asking where she found it.
So she was a sex worker at the time. She was homeless and she was doing a job.
Some people said it's a date. She was on a fucking job. It's not a date.
(08:49):
And while the guy was getting out to hit the ATM, she was going through his stuff in his car.
And she saw the phone and she's like you know
what this this would be worth some money because i think at the time she was
pretty heavy on drugs but she was like fuck i'll pitch this phone and go get
some crack or some shit right well when she got to wherever she was at and she
(09:11):
kind of looked on the phone and saw the shit she immediately was like i need to turn this in but
like i said she was like i don't know i don't want to go in there they're like
how'd you find the phone she was like well i was you know out there turning
tricks and i fucking stole it
like Like, so, but, you know, she did the thing. She did the right thing.
Like, like, fuck that, dude. If you, you know, you see this shit on the phone,
you're not going to worry about, oh, you stole this phone from a fucking murderer.
(09:34):
Like, get the fuck out of here.
So that's how she got it. I mean, this makes a lot of sense to not to, you know.
Be smirched the good name of sex workers but i'm like the fuck knows what a
marriott carpet looks like you know yeah she's like oh oh i know what that is
that looks exactly like like best western pillow i've had my face in that many
(09:57):
a time this is she's like i don't know what,
you know good for good for her i'm surprised they didn't like pull her in for
like fucking consulting you know they're like they're like all right anytime
we get some video shit like Like, we're asking you anything with a hotel.
You know, like, they're like, we found this murderer.
We got him. We got him in custody. He's got a key. We cannot tell where this key goes.
(10:18):
She's like, oh, oh, that's definitely the day's end. Right down the road. Room 12.
Yeah.
They put her own show out, you know, flips off the glasses.
CSI sex work. Yeah. Anchorage.
(10:41):
Oh, good for her. I'm just going to assume she does have her own show.
I hope so. She probably got a podcast and it's crushing it right now.
Good for her. We should have her on. Oh, absolutely. Bump our numbers quite a bit. Hell yeah.
So now she admits at this point, she's like, listen, she was strung out on drugs. She's an alcoholic.
(11:03):
And she said, you know, later on in testimony, she's like, I was trashed for like two weeks.
I was i was high on drugs she said i watched this video and she's like within
30 seconds i was completely sober like it took like reality to a different level
she was like it was the most horrifying thing i'd ever seen all in all there
(11:23):
was 12 videos and 40 images on this sd card and,
it was literally a man torturing a woman and i'm talking about man like so some
of these people are We're going to play the sounds and shit like that.
We're not going to do that. If you want to see this video or you can't see the
(11:43):
video, if you want to hear it, you can hear it.
I will tell you right now, do not look this shit up. It will give you...
It'll make your stomach hurt. I had to listen to it because I'm trying to fucking
find out what's going on.
But I hated it, man. I wanted to turn it off like three times.
So the guy is basically, he's torturing this woman.
You can hear her muffled and gargling in the back.
(12:06):
And he's slapping her. He's choking her with his hands.
He's saying shit like, you live, you die, you live, you die.
And he's choking her and then taking his hands off.
And just fucking kind of teasing her with it, right? Okay.
Now it you know as if it's
not dark enough it gets even worse so this guy's psychotic he
(12:28):
starts saying shit like you bitch
you know i i'm trying to go get drunk you're ruining
my fucking night just die already then he
starts making these weird fucking noises he's like oh like
i can't even do it but they're like just sick weird
delirium noises you know
and almost like singing in some little tune like either like
(12:50):
twilight zone or some shit it's just
fucking weird and then he starts telling her you know fucking 200 years of evolution
and people don't know how to fucking die like you're gonna ruin it for my followers
so it almost sounds like he's doing like a snuff film like he's got some kind
of like dark web following right if you're kind of like Like,
(13:10):
what the fuck is he doing?
Yeah. And what year are we in? So this is 2019.
Oh, okay. Yeah. This is very recent. Yeah.
And now, so the girl watching the video, she said that she could tell he had
a very distinct accent. It was like a South African accent.
And when she gave it to the cops, they immediately picked up and they were like, holy shit.
(13:32):
Like, this is the guy that we had already been looking into. to.
So about a year before this, apparently some woman came to the cops and said
that she ran into a guy that was bragging about murdering some woman and he
had a real distinct accent.
But before that trial or that investigation could begin, the lady that came forward passed away.
(13:55):
Now, I don't have any more information on that, but the cops kind of just dropped it after that.
Okay. But do you remember this accent? Because, real quick, in Alaska,
a South African accent is fucking rare.
Yeah, I'm sure any accent is going to be rare. That's true, yeah.
South African accent is probably rare here too, right? I mean, I don't know.
(14:17):
Yeah, I mean, I don't even know if I could pick it out. I feel like it's going
to sound like almost Australian.
I don't know why. That's actually pretty close. Yeah, that was good. Yeah. Okay.
So is the assumption then that the man that she that this that the woman that
came forward, the prostitute, she slept with this guy then, correct?
(14:38):
Oh, yeah. I did something with it. Maybe give him like a fucking H.J.
Or Z.J. or something like that. But yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. An E.J. Yeah. An E.J. Elbow J.
Yeah that's whatever you're into man i'm not judging this is a whole alphabet worth of jays,
and okay so i mean i guess that my thought was like geez she must have been
like part of the sobering thing must have been like geez i was this close to this person
(15:02):
yeah no shit and like maybe i was about to be his next fucking yes victim right
like you know what was he gonna do with me like glad she stole the phone he
just took off because fuck that right yeah yeah i'm not gonna lie when i did
read that part was like Like,
you know, she was thinking, I'm going to take this phone. I'm going to go pitch it for some money.
Like she said he was getting out to go to the ATM. Like I'm assuming they get money.
(15:24):
So I don't know if the phone was worth more than she was charging or something like that.
That part kind of. Oh, yeah. You know, like she's like, well,
he's going to go get money. Like how much does she charge? Because she stole the phone for money.
You know, whatever. She was probably, you know, drunk and went and think it straight or whatever.
She was like, I'm just going to take this. i don't have to give him
a fucking zj and i could just take off maybe she
(15:45):
was just getting bad vibes you know maybe the gut was telling her
get out and she followed that
instinct yeah yeah like his
fucking accent she was like oh that's true yeah yeah yeah
bye what am i what am i gonna do with south african dollars anyways this is
stupid i can't even spin that shit here dick so this guy this guy's name was
(16:09):
Brian Smith what an absolute vanilla name holy vanilla name Brian Smith yeah.
Fucking idiot you hate
bryant's too isn't that right we've discussed that before yeah not
a fan i'm not a fan of the name at all and then
like your last name is smith like look if you're now if your
(16:30):
last name is normally smith that's fine but like brian smith like
can you be more fun like you said vanilla like it's
generic yeah yeah what
was that what was that one episode we did about the vanilla sex i don't know
god vanilla sex remember
the wood girl was like saying like oh yeah like yo she
said she hooked up with the guy and they were doing like dominatrix shit and
(16:52):
the guy was like nah it was just pretty fucking normal oh yes yes yes yes yeah
he was like he was like no no no that's not how it happened it was literally
just missionary and she was like no he beat the shit out of me and choked me
and i loved it and we did cocaine off each other and.
Unfortunately there's so much weird shit that we talk
about like trying to keep it straight it's just impossible at this
(17:14):
point it's just whatever like the last like two episodes
are and then after that just fades into like nothing you
know yeah it does i mean there's a few there's
a few standouts i think from the past i think dennis
nelson's probably gonna be hot in the memory for a while you know
i think he's gonna he's gonna be living up there the boy in the
walls the boy in the walls is definitely cool yeah yeah
(17:36):
yeah um but then again i just lose some of the specifics you
know i i don't know like if you had brought it up i
feel like i feel like that the normal sex one i feel like is almost the motion
lotion episode where they talk to the other girlfriend that may have been oh
that was one of them i mean that's a good no that's not the one i was thinking
of but that is another good one okay motion lotion malignato yes that I got
(18:00):
out of the fuck, but you're right.
Yeah. We talk about so much weird shit. It's like, well, I'm sorry.
Which murder are you talking about? Oh, there was somebody died.
That's weird. I mean, each episode sometimes has like a dozen murders in and
of itself, you know? Oh yeah. A hundred percent.
Exponential amount of murders going on right now. Big words.
We're going to have to keep a catalog of this.
(18:20):
Yeah. We should put them on like Spotify or something, but so,
so, so this dickhead, right? So he was, just a little background on him because
nobody really gives a shit, but he was in the military for a little bit.
He had like, yeah, exactly, right? Fucking asshole.
Joke, guys, it's a joke.
God, fuck. Handyman, he was like a handyman for different places.
(18:43):
And that's kind of how he got the job at the Marriott.
Like he was like a maintenance worker. and according to
his wife he sold old cameras online
which is fucking creepy when you think about what she
just found right or that lady just found now he was married okay so no surprise
there because all these fucking psychos somehow have a have a you know marriage
(19:05):
going on but he was married one year and he met his wife like online gaming
i don't know what game they were playing i'd be curious to find out but,
His wife actually probably was part of the reason he got to America because
she was like admin for immigration services for the U.S. Okay.
So I'm sure she might have maybe pulled some strings or whatever. But here's the kicker.
(19:30):
Pull some strings for your online gaming boyfriend. Yeah, no shit.
So the month he got legalized and immigrated over here, the same month that
he started committing these crimes.
Like he got caught with this because he gets caught right after this.
But it was like the same month. Like he wasted no fucking time.
(19:52):
He's like, oh, I'm a citizen. Time to murder.
So he was probably murdering over in South Africa, too, would be my guess,
right? That's what I'm fucking thinking.
And I'm glad you said that because there is some people are saying that these
are not official news reports.
It's like people on fucking different blogs and shit like that. but they talk
about how there was like the south african ripper
(20:14):
like the equivalent of that you know and that those
murders suddenly stopped around the same
time that he left yeah okay so it's like yeah you know take it with a grain
of salt but you're right i mean you don't just come over and you're like oh
alaska looks nice it makes me want to murder people and yeah yeah no it's not
that's a drastic fucking jump i mean i'd like to go to alaska myself just to
(20:36):
see if i get like the murder itch you know because i don't want to like rule it out,
immediately because i mean maybe anchorage alaska
is just maybe maybe just drives you to be crazy
i don't know you get off the plane and you're like oh god give
me a knife you're fucking you're like trigger finger
you're like oh god it's itching what our boy god i'm not gonna remember his
(20:58):
name this episode is just like a recap of everything we've done this is like
a clip episode you know like old simpsons episodes apparently but the the our
homie we just talked about him and again it's like three episodes now so i don't
remember him but the guy that ordered the americano.
Oh israel keys israel keys he was from alaska and he got murdered right it was yeah yeah yeah,
(21:19):
so alaska what are y'all doing yeah y'all doing out there there's not there's
barely a population out there what do they got like two cities they got like
anchorage and what's the other one i'm I'm just going to let you hang on that.
Go ahead. Son of a bitch. Here's another one.
I'm not saving you on that one because I don't fucking know.
Don't throw those alley-oops to me, motherfucker. I don't know. Whatever.
(21:42):
There's like two. There's like two big cities like top. And when you eat big,
I'm sure it's like, you know, 30,000 people.
So the fact that you have like now two horrific murderers in.
Oh, wait a minute. Fairbanks.
Okay there you go juno i was thinking juno yeah
fairbanks and juno yeah juno is the capital i thought but
(22:05):
the fuck i know anyways i think that was anchorage okay
probably yeah no doesn't matter yeah a bunch of
murdering fucking losers up there i'm gonna
hey whatever is like a education question i'm gonna go with you on that so okay
it's probably you know the two main exports apparently is like moose meat and
fucking murderers moose meat murderers episode name just did it for you so nice
(22:30):
look at that i was gonna call it you don't know if i got a knife.
Like the old judo bullshit,
so brian smith yeah old man joke for the day um so they arrest this motherfucker pretty quick right.
(22:50):
And now when they go to his house and you know
they get the search warrant they go in there and they find that there.
Is like bloodstains in the house as well oh
boy and right so they're like there's got to
be more victims right there's got to be something else going on they also find
and i'm just going to like throw this in the air and we're all
going to be pissed off they find a fuck ton of like
(23:11):
those sd cards but they haven't
released like what is on there or what they saw i'm assuming
he's not all of a sudden you know
like a gardener one day and then like mass murder the
next so i'm assuming all those fucking sd cards have people getting
murdered yes which just a whole nother side
note the dark web is fucking disgusting so because that's
(23:34):
what he was doing he was doing this shit for for people online oh and
just selling the cards i don't
know if he was selling the cars or if he had like like an evil only fans
like the dark web version of that where people like could like
subscribe to his shit and see you know him murdering
people because what what struck me and i
what i immediately thought like maybe this is like 2012 because
(23:57):
you said it was like 12 videos and 40 photos on
this card i'm like well shit dude like even i
mean nowadays even 2019 i'm sure you can fit like a thousand photos and like
yeah 500 videos or something like that so it just it that was my first why i
thought it was in the past because you're just like you're like yeah there's
(24:17):
like six pictures and they're grainy as shit but it's It's like this is probably
done on like an iPhone or something like that.
And well, I don't know if I don't know what the iPhone SD card situation looks like.
But, you know, to have so many kicking around, like, is he doing so much that it can't fit on there?
Well, not that he might just organize them that way. He might just organizing
it. OK, it might be a way to to not get caught. I don't really know.
(24:38):
But it could be like he's like, this one is this person, this one.
And just keep getting new ones. Right. Like, you know, for whatever reason.
Gotcha. He doesn't know how to create a folder on his phone,
I guess. It was like he's a fucking idiot.
I mean, an album can't add another folder, an album. I'm sorry.
There you go. Yeah. Well, I do a folder, but,
fuck this guy who cares what he does i think we're supposed to care because it's the point.
(25:04):
Moving on let's get a new guy whether it's an album or a folder like i do a folder fuck his album,
the uh the blood in the house like ended up
belonging to i'm gonna try to say this girl's name you
know i know i'm gonna say it wrong but her name
was veronica i fucking hate you her
name was veronica abachuk okay abachuk
(25:27):
now it's it's important to note that both of
these victims were indigenous like women
for alaska like so they were that was that me and so
they weren't you know a lot of people just say like they're not
well reported on now this one's getting a lot more traction because
of you know the fact that it's such a fucking horrific
(25:48):
crime yeah but knowing that like
the name pronunciation might be different so sorry if
i fucked it up but that's what it looks like apparently i can't
even say fucking wisconsin cities right so yeah i'm
not gonna say you know an indigenous woman's last name correct but
she was missing he also had murdered
her and he tells the
(26:08):
cut so he's sitting in there with the cops he's getting interrogated and as
they're like kind of wrapping up and going to leave because they're getting
all all the information on the first victim he's like oh do you guys want to
be famous i'll tell you about another murder kind of pulls that bullshit like
israel keys did yeah yeah yeah and he admits to the veronica murder and they
(26:30):
start getting the details on it and he basically tells them.
That one night when his wife was out he went
out and got her and i guess was paying her for you know
sex or whatever and brings her back to the
house and at one point told her
like you need to go shower you stink and she was
like fuck you no and so he shot her what he
(26:51):
said he said she pissed me off that she wouldn't shower so i shot her wow who
knows that's true i mean it could have been he just tortured the hell out of
her for a little bit but he just didn't want to say that i i don't really know
uh because later on this motherfucker goes like when he goes on trial of course
he's pleased not guilty so he confesses to all this shit and then says not guilty and And tries to,
you know, get a lesser sentence or some bullshit. Okay.
(27:15):
Yeah. That obviously doesn't work when you have a fucking video of you torturing
somebody for 20 minutes.
I, I got to say, and I know we talk about this a lot with these fucking defense
attorneys. Like this is their job, right? They have to do this.
I just give, guess what the fuck they tried to say like about this video.
Like, just give, give me like, if you were the defense attorney right now and
(27:38):
you were, you know, you're stuck with this piece of shit and you're like,
I gotta, I gotta do something.
What are you saying about this video to make you less in his sentence?
Oh, to lessen his sentence. Yeah, you're the different.
First thing I would say, okay, well, so, well, lessening the sentence means
that he's definitely done it, right?
Like, I'm thinking even before that, it's like, well, it's not him on the video.
(28:00):
You know, that'd be my first thing. It's like, well, that's not my client.
Clearly, like, you know, like, and you said, can you see him in the videos?
You can. And he's sitting there, yeah, and you can hear his stupid fucking accent.
Okay, well, that's his twin brother, father ryan
smith and yeah no i mean that
(28:21):
would be the stupidest thing is to you know that that i
could pull is that that's not him uh to lessen the sentence geez
tough job god you
know there's always the insanity thing obviously that's the
old standby but i'm assuming you're not going
with that fuck she self-defense self-defense
(28:41):
yes self-defense i like
it self-defense like she
attacked me so then i had to tie her up and torture her
with her smell her smell was so
pungent that it was i almost passed out yeah there you go i i don't know man
(29:01):
i don't know yeah so it's a tough it's a tough it's a tough go like you're like
what the fuck am i gonna say they tried to say that the woman so the woman's
name is valerie the one that turned in the sd card.
They tried to say that she did yes
okay she did some
ai fucking manipulation and put him in the video and made it like that and i
(29:25):
i don't i can't see like i've never seen the the jury's faces when they said
this but i would imagine they go are you fucking kidding me and i think i feel
like that's going to come up a lot though, like going forward with people.
I mean, unfortunately, it's probably going to be true though.
You know right no you're not wrong i mean they can't fucking
do that now like they can say oh this was you know chris called
(29:46):
and he fucking said all this fucking horrible nasty shit look
i got a recording and it's like ai fucking or
whatever you know well i i was going to bring that up as
as a possible mental mouthwash discussion point but
there was a teacher i believe it was a teacher that
got fired by because they figured
out that he did use ai to make it sound like
(30:08):
the principal at the school was saying all sorts of
like racist stuff and he just like he just didn't
like the i believe what i think it was a school
and it was an administrator that he just didn't like and was
trying to get him ousted that way but they were able to trace it back he's like
i did not say this and they were able to trace it back to this guy who had like
a vendetta with them and they figured it out you know that is some really fucked
(30:31):
up shit to do to somebody like scary man especially with the kind of shit that
we say online god damn i'm a ghost.
Just be nice to everybody man no enemies no enemies.
Dude i mean luckily i've
already fucking i've already made my bed with that shit they're like
chris said this i'm like yeah probably probably go fuck
(30:53):
yourself like yeah that's but you're
right i mean that shit's gonna come up a lot with people and and it's
you know god that's that's just a fucking horrible thing to do with
somebody because once it once it gets traction you
know what you're like oh so and so said this look here's the recording i mean
it gets on fucking the internet yeah instagram tiktok
it's fucking out there yeah and you know no
matter what you do and it's like we're not taking that down i mean it's impossible
(31:16):
yeah yeah you can't it's always
there so was that their
only was that their only swing that
was the only swing now i am going going to bring up this fact too so they part
of the defense was to say you know it wasn't him he had an accomplice like i
think they were trying to just get all the blame off of you know not all the
(31:38):
blame on brian smith which he does get all the blame but so they bring up this other guy now i,
This guy's name is Ian Callahan. This guy is currently not in jail,
okay, as we're speaking.
And after I tell you about him, you know, you're going to think,
what the fuck, you know, put this motherfucker behind bars too.
Can I ask a quick question before we move on to Ian?
(32:00):
Now, with this trial that he's pleading not guilty yet, don't they already know
that there's more than one, like, piece of evidence for murder?
So she this woman supposedly i mean
they went into his house and found all these sd cards with all these horrific
acts right yep are they not allowed to bring that in as evidence because how
could they say that this ai that she doctored if yeah so at the time they're
(32:24):
only using this video and the veronica's i don't know why they couldn't use
the other stuff at the moment now just to just to go ahead and jump ahead on
this one it doesn't work i mean he gets sure
99 fucking thousand years in prison nice but
they're just yeah 18 000 lifetimes possibility parole
after a thousand years but yeah so none of it works i mean they're just swinging
(32:50):
for the fuck i think i think this fucking case comes to your desk and you're
like okay we're fucked let's just say dumb shit like let's go out there and
see what dumb shit like almost like that scene on uh super troopers where they
pull the guy over and they're saying like meow like i'm just having
fun with it they're like ai generated uh say it twice say it four times ai generated
they're like oh you gotta get to five motherfucker he's like oh shit meow.
(33:13):
But uh so ian ian callahan or
calhoun yeah he this guy was like a death
metal drummer in alaska okay and
that's how him and in mr fucking veneno
smith met is over their love of death metal yeah
so you're i mean are you look i don't i don't know what separates death metal
(33:36):
from other metal like i like some rock i don't know the difference i've looked
up i've actually read different diagrams on all the different kinds of metal,
I know that there is a plethora of metal and I don't remember necessarily what
is in death metal as well,
but it's not supposed to be, you know, I guess it's supposed to be like cathartic
(34:02):
as opposed to worshiping death,
but I might be wrong on that.
Now so like you
know i like rock i like like i like deftones to sell that shit
which you know some of my friends that are big hard rock fans will
say that's soft rock and i'm like go fuck yourself so and that's fine
with me i don't i don't you know i'm not measuring my dick with the music i
listen to so yeah but i just did a quick search on death metal bands and just
(34:27):
see what pops up yeah you're seeing stuff like carcass you know bloodbath dying
fetus so So, yeah, like they're okay.
Now, I do see one called Giora.
I'm saying that so wrong. Now, I've heard them. They're actually really good.
So, I don't know. So, oh, my God. Goat whore. That's amazing.
(34:52):
My favorite. That's going to be my new favorite band. Anyway,
so just because you listen to
death metal does not mean you're a fucking murderer. But this guy sucks.
So, yeah, that is how they met was over their love for that.
Now, there is Facebook messages. I don't have them all, but I'm going to give you the rundown. Okay.
As Brian Smith is committing this fucking murder, he is Facebook messaging his little buddy, Ian.
(35:15):
And he's like, hey, are you up? Like, I'm having fun right now.
And he's like, oh, you know, I am up. Like, you must be having a lot of fun.
It's a real corny ass fucking text. But he says like, hey, I want to show you what I got.
Like, I got something that, you know, you're really going to like.
He's like, oh, okay. I get off work at this time.
Well, they end up meeting.
(35:38):
At later on where the cops find the body,
this guy's phone pings off of that location so both of their phones were in that same location,
and they're like oh man like you know that was awesome and like that and then,
even after the fact of this so it's believed
that he saw this dead body like you know brian showed him
the dead body that's what the messages are kind of conveying and then
(36:02):
later on he like the next day he's saying like oh or not
the next day it's a couple days later but they see some news stories about it
about a missing person and he you know ian is
texting him saying oh man i saw that like
i thought about you and you know i had to
i had to make sure you saw this and he's like wow it took so long you
know i wonder why and it it's just very very very
(36:22):
obvious that they fucking know like he knows what's going on and
he did not go to the police okay so i'm not
you know the guy didn't obviously help but he knew about
it like that's like if you're fucking telling me hey man i
murdered somebody and put him in the trunk and i'm like cool man have fun have a
good vacation yeah you know i just go on with my life like i'm just
i'm almost just as guilty right like you got to say something
no agreed so yeah i mean maybe
(36:45):
this guy's like kind of getting off on it himself or something is
that i'm guessing he might be.
Part of that like dark web community or whatever sure that's okay
there you go so that could
be how they found each other too like they say death metal but maybe it
was some other shit maybe that's like code for something but okay but
he is not in jail now there is some people out there like activists
(37:07):
and protesters that are like going in front of his house
and and basically holding you know
protests saying like you know they need to get this guy in jail they need to
do something they're not asking for much but they're like they want him to be
charged with something like you don't have to throw him in jail for life but
like give him at least a fine or like a slap on the wrist or you know hey next
(37:27):
time you You need to fucking say when somebody was murdered because it was very,
very obvious that you knew and that you're at the location like that.
Just you can't argue that, right?
Yes. Yeah. I mean, I'm assuming he was caught immediately after that murder.
Was that? Okay. All right. So that, I mean, if, if it weren't that case and
(37:48):
he obviously could have been like a, I don't want to say co-conspirator, but, but if,
if another person had been killed after that, then I would, I would say he certainly
could be held somewhat responsible at that point.
Yeah for that for that second one yeah yeah now do
do they know has he was he involved i
mean obviously it seems like when he said i'm having fun that
(38:10):
strikes me as like okay so ian knows that this
is what this guy does right probably yeah so might
he have known about other ones beforehand probably that's
the thing i you know i didn't get too deep into that like as far
as how how long they knew each other but you you
would think like let's say me and you met you
know two days ago and i'm like if i text you
(38:32):
go i'm having fun right now like you're not gonna know what the fuck that
means unless we'd already been talking about that kind of shit exactly yes so
he obviously was like yeah dude i fucking torture people and murder them on
on the web and dude's like fucking rock on you know like whatever and then he's
like i'm having fun he's like cool you know i don't know if that's i don't know
if that's how his voice sounds but fuck him too it probably does,
(38:55):
i'm a drummer for a dead metal band that you know fucking sucks probably oh
sure yeah just the louder the better that's right just scream musicality yeah
double bass pedals and yeah.
Just like oh that's right there you go,
well like like when we said death metal like i was thinking like guar and
(39:17):
like slipknot no you know yeah that's
like yeah that's yeah definitely not there's like
yeah i actually looked it up because i remember like i said i
remember looking at different things like where each one where
each metal offshoot came from like so
you got the death metal there's black metal speed metal
that's so speed metal you got some names you
(39:39):
probably recognize a little more like slayer and anthrax
yeah there you go yeah not that i know doom metal.
It's like black sabbath apparently glam metal
motley crew poison twisted sister you
know so yeah power metal all that sort of
thrash metal thrash metal yes yes and also metal
heavy metal new yes new but
(40:01):
it's like nu right it's not even new metal yeah
new metal that's when we're talking like corn and and
limp biscuit and stuff like that kind of so late
because what i thought like when people say like death metal like i was
thinking i was wrong because i was thinking heavy metal and that's like
that's some good shit like you're thinking like metallica and like
(40:21):
black sabbath like mega death mega death was the first
band that i thought of was like that's heavy metal like
yeah mega death you know and they were fucking cool as shit but yeah
fuck yeah death metal or whatever like sucking ass
like i'm not probably not a fan um i'm not
even gonna be on the record and say that i'm
likely not just i don't have to hear it i'm good i don't i don't think i need
(40:46):
to i've got plenty of fucking music i like and i'm good on that yeah yeah like
i don't have to see brian smith's videos to know that i don't want to see those
videos that's right put on my fucking pajamas and my you know know, my,
my slippers and listen to some fucking, you know, I don't know, fucking.
Cannibal Fleetwood Mac. You know what I'm saying?
(41:07):
Yeah. Uh, in a, in a, a twist of fate here.
I just remember that I have a friend from high school named Brian Smith.
So how does, how does Brian Smith from Anchorage spell his first name?
Oh, B-R-I-A-N. Okay. All right. This Brian was a Y.
So otherwise I was just about to send a message and say, where you be?
(41:33):
What are you doing? You up?
Are you having fun right now? You better be having fun right now,
Brian. He says, yes. Be like, fuck. Oh my God. I got to call the cops.
Well, no, cause he's in jail. he's in jail he's in jail he's in
jail and also i went to high school with him and i'm
not from south africa so i kind of
(41:55):
quickly ruled him out but i did i did glance i did while you
were just you know while you were discussing brian smith
i did take a quick look to see where my brian
smith was born just in case so you
know i will say it is if you guys you know if if
your friends come up to you and they're talking about like this
is the kind of shit they're into i mean turn them in that's not
(42:16):
even a question right like that i feel like we
shouldn't even have to put the bow on this one like you should just turn
them in you know if if if you're listening to this episode
and you were on the fence about it like one of your friends just
said some really fucked up shit and you're like should i yes just
just do it just do yes death metal turn
them in you know any normal person
(42:38):
would do that right i mean obviously this ian
guy was into it right so you
know it's not like he was like what should i do brian just
told me that probably without saying it that he murdered somebody
what do i do you know he probably wasn't worried about like getting
brian in trouble he was probably like yo that's pretty dope tell me when the
next dead body shows up you know right right well because he was saying i want
(43:00):
to see like i'll meet me here like he was into it and he he knew when he's like
i got something for you that i want to show you he knew exactly what the fuck
he was talking about like it went like a dick pic you know what i'm saying like it was a dead body.
I mean they probably did show each other's dick i don't know but yeah probably.
Death metal dick pick.
(43:22):
Here's my dick yeah i guess that's what they do holding little drumsticks.
That's right i used to real quick before we
before we got on this i i used to there's a
guy i mean he still is on my facebook and if i
would post like oh you know this concert's coming through or
whatever and it was you know rock ish like i said like
(43:43):
we just went through all the different fucking genres of heavy metal or
whatever the fuck ever and he'd always be like that's not
even fucking metal like that sucks
and i was like cool man so you know fuck
you okay like i'll just do whatever the fuck i want like
you don't have to come in and chime in every time i fucking like the
motherfucker wouldn't post on anything else that i have but i post
(44:03):
a fucking rock band he's like oh no that's this
shit you know that's soft rock and i'm like okay soft
dick like i don't give a shit like i'm
not posting this so you can fucking get off on the fact that your
music is fucking hardcore you know you i
can't stand anybody that just like pops onto your
your timeline just to
(44:24):
like start shit you know like if you're like hey here's what i accomplished
at my job right and you don't hear shit like here's something a family member
of mine did i just bought a new house or you know anything like positive this
is what life is and you know things Things are going okay or whatever.
And then it's crickets, right? From a certain cadre of people that you might be friends with.
(44:51):
And then all of a sudden you put one somewhat, not even controversial,
like you liking a certain thing. You liking music. An opinion.
Yes, exactly. And then all of a sudden it's like, boom, boom,
boom. Like, motherfucker, where'd you come from?
You know? Like, you've clearly been seeing all the other posts that like,
oh, just go to promotion today. Right.
Nothing crickets couldn't care less not a
(45:13):
like not a heart nothing bullshit right but
as soon as you're like oh well i enjoy uh the
the dulcet tunes of god smack like god smack sucks get the fuck out of here
you piece of shit like where were you my god no you're right and that's that's
called a uh it's called taking out the trash right so like i i've got this new
(45:35):
term man if If anybody says anything.
You know, on, on any of like, it takes social media.
Like if I'm on Instagram or Facebook, if somebody says something that I don't
like block, because you're not going to fuck it. And this is my time.
If I'm looking at my phone and I'm looking on my Facebook, I'm not going to
let myself get pissed off.
I pay for this phone, you know, fuck out of here. You're not taking up my time.
(45:56):
So you, that's a quick block, you know, because it's like, I probably don't
even like you. Like you're on my Facebook.
Like, that's not a big deal. you're you i follow you
on instagram like cool i don't really give a shit so yeah
i just get them the fuck out of here like thank you for showing up bye
man that's that's good i mean are they only man we're we're pretty far away
(46:17):
from the ian and brian love fest right now but are these people that you know
in real life as well or are they like only social media people no probably probably
real life but but again it's it's not necessarily that i know them like very very well like i see
him every day it could have been i knew him 10 years ago it could have
been i knew him five years ago we used to work together but regardless
if i don't have you on facebook or instagram that doesn't mean i don't fucking
(46:41):
like you or know you it means i don't want you comment on my shit i don't like
you that on that way you know like if i see you out in public i'm gonna be like
hey what's up but you know we didn't used to have facebook so what does it fucking
matter like and it didn't mean we weren't friends if we weren't fucking tagging
each other and poking the little like button.
No. True story, man. I think we've learned a lot.
(47:03):
This is about mental health. We do a lot about mental health right now.
That's okay. I think that's okay.
In a weird way, death metal just brought us together with our listeners.
So maybe death metal is the bridge to civilization for everybody. Wow.
I have to look into this more. So there you go, Tim, you motherfucker.
(47:23):
I just said something good about death metal. Get the fuck out.
All right, guys. So if you love death metal and you want to just recommend some
bands, go ahead and hit us up on hear no evil show at Gmail.
We're on Instagram. We're not on Facebook because we just kind of laid that out as to why.
(47:44):
And we're on TikTok. Right. So hit us up on any of those things and make sure
you hit the link tree because that will take us to the Patreon where you can
help support our death metal calls.
Right. For 599. we can sit here and
rant about music all the time and you can
get some extras some shows that we have not released to spotify
(48:04):
or apple or any of that shit and they're
actually really good so you want to go ahead and hit that up just like like
he said before skip one cup of coffee right and just join the patreon you'll
be good yeah all proceeds go to uh struggling metal bands that's right and i'll
tell you what if you if you skip starbucks in the morning and you're like ah
(48:26):
what What am I going to do?
And you're on our Patreon. Like, listen to one of these fucking shows on your
way to work. It'll wake you up. You will wake up.
So we are your audio caffeine, right? Like, we are fucking your ears with some
caffeine. You won't even need it. Tag team.
Just tag team in your fucking ears.
(48:46):
Wake up, motherfucker.
Audiogasms.
Music.
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