08 ° Soul-nourishing insights of 4 months Bali Ubud 12.23 - 4.2024 - Heiter bis Spiri

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Hello lovely people, it has been a long time now.

(00:07):
Oh, and it's actually super nice being back.
This is something I wanted to do for the longest time now.
And I definitely want to go into why I have not been doing it and what all of this has

(00:29):
to do with my very current stream.
So this is going to be an episode about yin and yang four months in Bali Ubud.
And before we deep dive into what all of this means and what I mean by this, I would love

(01:01):
if you could support me with clicking on Apple Podcast or Spotify or whatever you find this
podcast and just hopefully you would like to give it a five star review because you know
how it goes if people see that there's a lot of stars then the likelihood of them listening

(01:23):
and trying it out is much higher.
So that's definitely something where you can support me.
And of course if you really like this episode and you find it to be inspiring, you find
it to be enriching in some way, then do share it.
This is always amazing.
Okay, so support wise, we've covered that one.

(01:48):
What I really find close to my heart right now is the purpose of this episode because
it is about sharing while I myself make sense of something.
Of course, the last two days I've been preparing this episode and I was like, why is this

(02:11):
important to me?
Where do I want to record this?
Why do I want to record this?
But first of almost I really want to encourage and empower you to share things in the sense
of giving even if you feel that you are incredibly imperfect and not ready at all.

(02:40):
Because I'm pretty certain that you can follow me in this.
There is always something that is a value to the other person.
It might be a perspective that you find supernatural in your life and you're like, how is that
even an addition to someone else's life?

(03:04):
But then it is.
So this morning, one of my just lovely, lovely sisters, Kimila, this goes out to you.
You taught me this morning about that everyone is their own sovereign being.
And that means that you literally, you don't know what people are taking away from your

(03:26):
share.
So I don't know what you guys will take away from my share.
And at the same time, I'm doing my very best and I know that you're always doing your best.
So that's the intro for this one.
I want to share kind of a summary or an idea, like a hug around my time in Bali.

(04:02):
And I want to do this in an interesting, structured way.
So I'm contemplating my infinity loop, my equilibrium of Yang and of Yin right now again.
So truly, you know, like this wonderful song by East Forest.

(04:27):
I love it's just a reminder, find your center.
Oh God, I love this line.
Like one of these days is going to be a tattoo.
Okay, so how this podcast is going to roll is I will talk about in the beginning.
So the Yang part is the structure of the whole experience in Bali.

(04:53):
What was the frame of me going there?
Where did I stay?
Where did I go?
How like all of these kind of overall perspectives.
And then I'm going to take you into the arena of the everyday delights.

(05:14):
Like what was I doing there?
What was the things I really loved every day?
And I'm already having a chuckle and like I will tell you why in this aspect.
The next playground I want to take you into is the culture of Bali, of Ubud.

(05:39):
And how did I feel there?
And then the next and last one is covering my expansions.
Like what did I what did I learn in which arenas did I grow?
And of course, like all of these playgrounds, they're going to lead to the last point.

(06:14):
And that is the rounding off with like the end of this timeline.
So you can you can kind of see that there is this flow from more I wouldn't say data-driven
but there is more like kind of the heart facts into like the softer aspects.
And as as always the people like you guys who know me, I'm a very multidimensional being.

(06:39):
So like I love ourselves some complexity.
It is always nice.
So we're going to weave in and out these different flight levels to be very detailed, very experienced,
oriented and then we're going to soar up into the heights and seeing that.
I look outside of the window and I see this beautiful, I think it's a falcon soaring

(07:06):
in the clouds of this fantastic.
So let's let's start with the first one.
So the first topic is the whole the whole thing like the whole.

(07:29):
Yeah, the whole thing.
There is nothing literally more to say to this.
Same wise, I landed in Bali on the 14th of December.
And for everyone who knows how Bali currently does their visa system, there is there are

(07:54):
actually so many versions of visas.
It is quite mind-boggling like what like what?
So the easiest version is called VOA, visa on arrival, VOA.
So you basically come to the airport and then you get your fingerprints and a signature

(08:20):
and your picture taken and then you pay, it's like I think it's 40 euros and you can stay
for a month.
And after the month, you can extend your visa either by going to immigration agency, which
is in Denpasar and like there is two, one in Denpasar and one more in the south.

(08:47):
So you can either go yourself, which is actually, I'm told quite kind of a bustle or you can
do it through a visa agency, which is just 350 in a K more.
Oh yeah, the money system is super interesting.
So 17,000 Indonesian rupee, so 17 K equals one euro right now.

(09:15):
So you like it is very easy to be a millionaire and sometimes even to be a billionaire like
when you build a house, the numbers are in the billions, which is quite bizarre.
So either, anywho, then you go, I did it with my, with the visa agency, which is like 850

(09:37):
K, which is like 60, 60 something is euros.
And they do the whole thing for you, like you give, you give your passport away.
Oh my God, you really like you do, you really give your passport away, which is kind of,
yeah, we'll get back.
I always got back, so no worries.

(09:58):
And then they do the whole, the whole process for you and you just have to go to the immigration
wants to repeat the procedure of fingerprints and signature.
And then you're done.
And then after two months, you have to fly out of the country.

(10:19):
So that means that the name is called I'm doing a visa run.
Usually people do a visa run either to Singapore or to Kuala Lumpur and I went to Singapore.
I don't know if you saw that on Instagram, it was great, great, great, great, because
I went on Chinese New Year, which is a completely different story in itself.

(10:48):
The experience was wild.
Like I've never seen so many red people in my life, like actually everything that everyone
was read.
I will not go into this if you want to hear more about my whole situation in Singapore
and doing a visa run in Singapore because some really magical things happened there.

(11:10):
Like do give me like a heads up and say, yeah, I want to listen more of this.
So absolutely, I'm going to tell you in another podcast.
So I stayed four months in total.
So two months, then going to Singapore, then returning in another two months.
So I flew out of Bali on the 10th of April.

(11:37):
So now I'm here, close to Darmstadt back in Germany and sitting on this lovely field
and looking at the clouds and the wind.
And this is the first time I'm recording this amazing podcast in my car.
Somewhere remote with GarageBand.
This is literally something I wanted to be doing for Efda.

(12:02):
And yeah, I guess now is the moment to tell you why not because like I'm taking you more
into the contemplation.
We're doing it a quick, like a quick little swoop away from the whole things structure
and going more into this contemplation, spiritual kind of realm.

(12:28):
I've been contemplating my gene keys.
As you probably know, like I'm always afraid that you guys go like Serena.
How many more times do you want to tell me about the gene keys?
People is going to stick around, get used to it.
It's a thing.
It's my thing.
I love it.
I'm crazily passionate about it.
There is always something that picks me up again.
If I have no freaking clue what's going on in my life, that is a map I'm looking at

(12:53):
and going like, okay, I need to sit down and need to meditate.
There's something weird going on.
Whoa, looking for the truth there.
So, yeah, gene keys.
And right now I'm in the middle or in the beginning of the pearl retreat and contemplating, yeah,
contemplating the lines of the vocation.

(13:17):
And my line speaks about the fear of the dream, the archetypes of the fear of the dream.
And for me, again, like so many times before, I feel that literally just talking to me,
like, no chance there's someone out there who has the same fear of a dream.
It's probably just me.
No, of course not, like having the dream of just recording a podcast in my car like this,

(13:46):
I can't even tell you why I wasn't doing it because it always works out well.
It's fine and it's easy.
And the initiative is relatively simple.
And for some weird reason, I wasn't doing it.
And right now I'm sitting here and I like, I love it.
It is so nice to not sit in a fancy podcast studio, but literally sit in the middle of

(14:12):
the field and there's no one around, except some farmers and talking to you.
Hallelujah.
Okay.
So this is my, this is my serenade to guys.
If you have something you want to do, and I literally in the most loving sense, I don't

(14:34):
care what it is.
And I also don't care why you and me, we are putting it off because there is literally
no good reason.
It's just fear.
It is just the fear of like, and then you could fill in the blank.
There is so much stuff going on.
And we need, we need the courage to step into the next little thing.

(14:58):
There is a beautiful word for this.
It's called adjacent possible.
Adjacent possible, which means the, the, the field, the environment around the ground
where already, where you already standing to take a, a next step into that, into that

(15:19):
environment to expand.
And of course I'm not just talking about physical places and planes, you know, like you get
it.
I love that we're talking about places because now I'm collecting us back in from this little
swirl.

(15:40):
I feel a little bit like reeling in a dragon, like a, um, how do you sit in a dragon?
Oh, in general we see dragon.
So anyway, this, this thing that children float in the sky when there's wind.
So reeling this in.
Um, I wanted to talk to you about the places I lived.

(16:01):
So because I have been asked how did you structure the places where you stayed.
And this comes with a headline of what is it that you want.
And for me, I love expanding awareness and adventure and some sort of movement.

(16:34):
And for me, that means that when I go somewhere, I, I need the feeling of arriving, of being
somewhere safe, of, especially of having a place where my nervous system and my body
can just recharge and chill.
So I booked myself a beautiful guest house when I arrived for, for five days, I think,

(16:58):
and the name of the lady is called Cadet.
And it was beautiful.
And I ended up staying, I think, two weeks.
And then I even went back there because she is just one of the most delightful Indonesian
people.
And I'm not delightful.
I will talk to you about this in the culture.

(17:21):
They're all delightful and, and, and joyous.
But she was just like even more smiley and cute.
And she speaks quite good English, which is not always the case.
So I moved to this.
It's called Krista Oobut guest house.
You find it with like an incredibly high rating on booking.

(17:43):
I think they're at 9.7 right now.
And for its own, right, like she is just amazing.
And the rooms are central and you stay with a family and she gives you breakfast and it's
really nice.
So anywho, after that, I explored the, the region of Oobut, which is, oh yeah, I'm like,

(18:12):
have I told you that I mainly stayed in Oobut?
Well if I haven't, this is the information now.
I really wanted to go like to this, to this most spiritual place in Pali, which is like
Pali is already the island of the gods.
And I was like, okay, I'm going to go to the vortex of the gods, I guess.

(18:35):
And then I wanted to feel around Oobut where it is a good place for me to, to land, to
stay, to explore.
And I don't want to stay in the same, same place all the time.
And I, I didn't know how Oobut felt.
So I needed, I needed embodied wisdom to really sink in and to, to not make any hazy decisions

(19:02):
and really go like, okay.
So where do I feel?
Where do I feel really good?
And it took me, it took me, I guess, I ended up in a place I really, really, really loved

(19:24):
after three months.
So the last month I stayed in this wonderful big guest house in the rice fields north of
Oobut.
And I, I would have thought that it's kind of easy to find somewhere to live.
And in general it is, but then again, it comes back to this, you do you, you know, what is

(19:45):
that you like?
Would you like quiet or busly or do you want to hotel?
Do you want your own villa?
There's so many options.
So yeah, I, I chose, I ended up in this, in this rice field, very quiet, super nice people

(20:07):
pool outside.
Oh, stunning.
And I want to invite you as a prompt to get curious about what rhythm is good for you.

(20:30):
What rhythm is good for you?
What I mean by this is how many times, how many times would you like to move?
How many days do you feel that you are nourished in one place?
And when is it time for you to change something up to move on to, to move it a little bit?

(20:56):
And that is different for everyone.
And like, let me tell you that all of the rhythms are valid.
One thing which is very important to me personally is that being fast and having a very high
frequency of like staccato rhythm in how many things you do per day or how fast you move

(21:23):
or how many tasks you can put into your day is not fitting for everyone.
How do I know this?
It's not, it's absolutely not fitting for me.
And I have my, I have my own literally life journey around being raised in a culture in

(21:49):
Germany where being fast and hustling and being successful and productive and just squishing
all literally all of the tasks in your calendar in one day as like a felt sense, it is insane.
I am not supporting this at all.

(22:12):
So if you feel that you want to stay somewhere, slow travel style for whatever that means
for you like a week, two weeks, three weeks, a month, two months, just you do you.
Like, there is so much truth and so much authenticity to really feel into what it is that you really

(22:34):
need because if you have never had the reference of really feeling into what you need, how do
you even know what is healthy and nourishing for you, you know?
And then it's really hard to communicate that to anyone because it's completely unaware
to yourself.
So I guess I'm going to hop on the next thing in the whole thing, which is the scooter situation.

(23:07):
Oh my god, the scooter situation.
Scooters are the very fun things.
When I arrived in Bali on, shortly before Christmas, I came to Ubered and I was speechless.

(23:34):
I was like, okay, oh my god, everyone is on a scooter in these very much too small roads
that have dents and holes.
And if there is a pedestrian sidewalk, it is missing tiles or it's broken or it doesn't

(24:03):
even exist.
So just gigantic question mark.
I was like, okay, you could see the Westerner tourists kind of hopelessly trying to walk
somewhere, which is it is it's a pain.
It's really difficult.

(24:24):
And I did not expect that at all.
So in the beginning, I was absolutely not daring to drive a scooter myself.
And that's not because I'm not a good driver.
I've driven a scooter before, but there was so much traffic.
I was like, okay, this is no.

(24:45):
And then you always see the tourists with bandaids on the knees or on crutches because they fell
from the scooter.
So I'm like, okay, that like oof.
So for the first two months, I was renting scooters with grab, which is an app.

(25:09):
There is there's two there's grab and there's go check.
And that also is a whole story in itself how grab disrupted the whole oovid taxi market
three years ago.
If you talk to the locals, that was quite a big incident and quite a quite incision for

(25:30):
them.
So any who the first two months, I was just using this little grab app every day and
it's it works incredibly well.
And there are so many scooters and cars around you always get someone to drive you somewhere.

(25:51):
And then you support the locals and it's incredibly cheap.
It's like a Euro 50 or something.
So like, I don't know, 30 to 50, 50k, but that 50 would be if you'd tried quite far.
And then after that, I started renting a scooter for one day and I was like, oh, and then I

(26:15):
don't know, like that came a day where I was like, okay, now I'm gonna, now I'm gonna
rent a scooter and it worked out perfectly.
I also had this little prayer.
Yeah, I had this little prayer every time I would get on the scooter, I would say, Hatty

(26:36):
Hatty, which means be careful.
So Hatty Hatty and I would sing that to myself or get on the scooter, put on my helmet, store,
whatever I was carrying at the time, and go like Hatty Hatty and then I would ride down
the street and quietly singing to myself.

(26:58):
It was it was so, so nice.
Yeah, really cool.
Something that I hadn't considered apart from the pedestrian walking situation, I really
missed walking like I ended up in the gym walking in the gym.

(27:19):
So what I also didn't just didn't consider is the mold situation.
Because it is so humid and it was the rainy season, it's also so hot, they have black
mold in like everywhere.

(27:42):
So as soon as there's an angle or something wooden or a furniture which is not really
breathed through, there is the danger of mold just catching it and it creeps into the ACs

(28:05):
and like behind things, so like, yeah, I don't even know what to say to this.
It's just something that you need to be aware of like how because of the health effect,

(28:26):
I guess.
Then I didn't suffer from it, but I heard other people being like really, really aware
about the mold situation, like spraying it with vinegar and having all of these recipes
and strategies to deal with it.

(28:47):
Just know that because of the climate, there is mold and then see how you are with this
when you get there and know that there's a lot of solutions.
So I guess that's like, that's the information.
Okay.

(29:12):
That is the area of the whole thing and I'm already like, whoa, that's gonna be a long
episode, I guess.
Well, it is delightful and speaking about delightful, now we're talking about the arena

(29:33):
of the everyday delights.
What did I love enjoying every day?
And now we're coming to what I said before the German version.
So, Rina, what are you doing there?
And I have to be super honest with you, in the beginning, every time I heard the question,

(29:54):
what are you doing there?
I got a little purging reflex.
I was like, because I thought I was fleeing Germany to finally no longer hear this identification,
this constant question of what are you doing?

(30:17):
Like I am not a human doing.
I am a freaking human being.
Oh God.
When a whole culture is identified with tasking all the time.
Yeah.
So that comes back to rhythm and time and tasking for me.

(30:43):
So my focus going to Bali was very much experiencing the place.
After two and a half months, I know I remember this when I'm telling you the story, after
two and a half months I was meeting a friend and we were talking about tourists who travel

(31:13):
the world for about a year and then they come back home, whatever that means because there
is nothing like back at all.
Like, there is nothing to go back in time.
You can't go back to the same place.
You're not the same person.
I guess it's just an expression of returning to something that looks like the place where

(31:37):
you started, but then it's very much like the hero's journey.
So kind of the hero, the hero's returns to the place where in my case, like this is
my homeland of where my ancestors are from.
So I come to this land, but I don't really come back.
Yeah, but it's still very much in the use of my language.

(32:01):
So we're talking about this phenomenon of people traveling for a long time, the world,
and then they return to their starting place and they're kind of the same.
It looks like they hadn't really changed.
So they go back to their old job, so they have done a sabbatical and I was like, that

(32:25):
is super, super weird for me.
And to be honest, I don't even know if I know people actually did that because if it's just
an assumption, like some form of weird bickering outside, because we were both in unison about

(32:46):
really deeply experiencing the culture, the people, the world, just how this other place
on the planet feels and how do I feel?
How do I interact?
Who am I becoming when I'm there?
And I definitely, I double clicked on the sensuality.

(33:09):
It was so nice.
Like, Machalates, ceremonial cacao's, and you have no idea how many places and how amazing
the quality is of both of these drinks in Ubud.

(33:30):
It is out of this world.
Like, oh man, there was definitely a new standard.
Before that, I think a year ago I started being associated with this German cacao brand
Zaidu cacao.
I think cacao's just amazing.

(33:52):
And I started drinking cacao and doing cacao's romanies for friends and for myself and really
enjoying this rich, nourishing magnesium and magnesium containing drink and so many benefits
in there.
And then to go to a city in Bali where they actually serve this amazing drink in a restaurant,

(34:18):
it is like, oh my God.
And then you get it with different roles and with cinema and with chili and with vanilla
and with different medicinal mushrooms like shaga and rashi and linesmane.
And it is so nice.

(34:41):
The healer in me and the ex-biohacker was absolutely dancing, but Chate was so nice.
And then talking about the health drinks, there is a very old herbal medicinal drink.
It's called Jammu.

(35:02):
And I'm smiling because sometimes people spell it J-A-M-U Jammu.
I have also seen it written D-J-A-M-O-E Jammu.
So and that says a lot about the desire of being conformist in Bali.

(35:27):
Not really.
So the Jammu is something with very high turmeric, ginger, tamarind and then different herbs.
And it's a very antioxidant rich herbal drink.

(35:49):
The recipes are literally like a family recipe kind of thing.
And you get it in so many health stores.
There is a right and a wrong way to drink it.
And I have to confess that for the first month, I completely dismissed how you should drink
it, which is the utmost is you drink one cup a day and you drink it either lukewarm or

(36:17):
gently heated.
But when they sell it to you in the store, they make it, it's homemade and they store
it in these big bottles of like half liter or liter in the fridge.
In the first month, I was drinking the whole bottle cold.

(36:42):
And I bet every Ayurvedic practitioner would have just turned around in their grave and
go like, Oh my God, like first of all darling, you don't drink anything cold.
Like it literally kills your your agnifier in your belly like now.
So it's instant death.
And then it was just way too much.

(37:03):
So I was being very ignorant about the healing.
I don't know if like too much healing is toxic again.
Like there is this thing with a charm and it's like too much of anything is just toxic
for you.
And I'm like, so yeah.

(37:25):
The next thing I really enjoyed about centralities, massages and pedicures and foot massages
and reflexology and Shiatsu.
So everything around having someone else touch my body and just giving it love and nourishment
and oh my God, that was so good because one hour of Bali knees massage is 150 K, which

(37:50):
is eight euros.
It is amazing.
So the the accessibility of actually treating yourself and and getting the nourishment from
a massage is actually financially available.

(38:12):
Whereas in Germany, of course, we also have massage places.
But if a massage is between 60 and 80 euros per hour, that is not something you would treat
yourself to maybe even two or three times a week.
But maybe you do that once a month.
So that's a very different resource to stay sustainable, to have a sustainable nervous

(38:42):
system and being nourished.
That became very clear to me just because it was a contrast of availability.
The thing that I just enjoy the fuck out of.
Oh my God, that was so good.
Okay so there is a place in Ebert called Paradiso.

(39:07):
Paradiso.
And two times a week, they honor the name for sure.
It's on Tuesday night and Tuesday, Saturday and Thursday.
Although I didn't like I didn't go all the three times.

(39:29):
Anywho, it is about improv.
Contact dancing with with a theme.
So they're mixing a very contact oriented movement style with either it's called dissolve

(39:55):
or aros.
And I was, I mean some of you know that I've started discovering Tantra last year, starting
last year.
Yeah, that's always like my big start.
So I'm very, I'm very comfortable with, with just meeting people and approaching people

(40:19):
and their bodies and where they are.
And this is something I've been really enjoying just dropping into.
So this aros is, it is juicy.
It is so juicy because people come with like they, they don't dress up but they're very

(40:41):
present in their bodies.
They, it's a beautiful flow of you start on the ground and then you gently touch someone
with their, with your hand or your foot and then like you roll around and you move and
you find another person that you gently and slowly start to inquire the space with and

(41:03):
all the energy which is between you.
And, and this is really a dynamic and a contact which is beyond language.
It's a very, it's a body language.
It's a very different experience than, than touching someone and then speaking to someone
with, with words.

(41:27):
And yeah, that like these, these hours of, of that kind of dance left me full of oxytocin
and serotonin and dopamine and all of these juicy love biochemicals.
And I, I felt dizzy afterwards.

(41:49):
I was like, Oh my God, this is so nice.
And so enriching and, and I think so, so diverse in my experience that I don't even know how
to put words around it.
So that's, that was definitely something I loved doing that really, where I double clicked

(42:14):
on how good can my life actually be, how much pleasure and joy and centrality and, and,
and love can I have in my life.
And to, like to be honest, to be fucking unapologetic about it, which I really had to soften and

(42:37):
to learn into.
Because when I came from Germany, it took me two and a half months of being in bar in
Uwood to even start considering going to contact dance or Brazilian zook.
So like again, it was again this, like the fear of following the dream that we spoke

(43:01):
about in the very beginning, like not just scrolling on Instagram about the dancers for
hours at a time, which I am totally guilty of doing.
And then having this weird kink of keeping myself away from this experience because of
I'm not good enough.
Oh God, I'm not worthy.

(43:23):
Man, my body may have not trained it.
But ever, and then after a while, I don't know if you know this, but I was so done with
my own excuse of not gifting myself with this experience.
It was just, I was like, Oh my God, I'm having it.
Like this is no longer going on.

(43:44):
So yeah, so I really explored what I love.
And another thing that really softened my heart a lot is the practice of kirtan.
For all of you who do not know what that is, it is devotional form of Indian mantra chanting.

(44:14):
And it's usually led by a lead singer and a musical support group around it.
So you have someone leading this prayer this mantra.
And then flutes and drums and little chimes.

(44:38):
So it sounds beautiful.
And because the mantra is so easy, it might be just a couple of syllables, a couple of
words.
After two or three times, you got it, you got the rhythm, you got the pronunciation.
And then your body is busy doing something.

(45:05):
And because the vibration is so powerful in your body, it really opens up all of the chakras,
all of the body parts, the throat, the heart, the belly.
And I have, I confess, I had full on bliss states, like I was completely sober.

(45:29):
And I was having full on bliss states and singing, singing to the divine.
I pray that everyone has that kind of feeling with something they do, at least once in their
life.
It is, it is like sweet baby Jesus.

(45:51):
That is really sweet.
That's really good.
So what else I did was I socialized a lot within a couple of days I was invited into
so many WhatsApp groups and dancing communities and singing circles and women's circles.

(46:17):
And just, there is so much networking and community.
So if, if you want to be lonely in Ubud, choose another location, like, you will probably
not succeed if you're not completely staying in your retreat center and you hide under

(46:40):
a stone, like literally.
And I'm a projector to for which is a human design, someone who's very receptive and
ambit and a networker.
So if I want to go into ambit mode, I know what that means.
And it's like, Ubud does not really support you being in urban, which is amazing for me,

(47:01):
at least.
So I checked out all of the amazing restaurants.
I hopped on my scootie and, and ha-ti-hat-tied somewhere that I had seen on the Google Maps.
And then I tried that chai latte or another ceremony cacao or, ah, there's also one restaurant

(47:28):
that they had Indo-Vedic food, Indonesian mixed with Ayurvedic food.
So nice.
And then I was sitting there meeting someone and talking about the energy of solo eclipses
recently, or just sensitive spirituality talk because in Ubud, being a spiritual sensitive

(47:59):
person is almost kind of the prerequisite.
So, um, I love that, like, this, this amazing friend of my camera, she is, she's joking.
She's like, I'm not a Lemurian.
I'm not so much 5D.
I'm very much 3D.
I'm like, I'm a proper human.

(48:24):
And to be a proper human in, in, in Ubud, it's not so easy actually because everyone is
like so freaking high as a kite on something divine and also with like sensitivity and
with, with healing and with just the topics that people share, it is, it is not really

(48:45):
thinkable in a place like Germany.
You would maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe find that, um, in the New Healing Festival, which is
in summer around Hamburg, or you maybe find this in a very special event that hosts that
your favorite yoga center hosts or somewhere like deep, deep, deep in the, in the community

(49:10):
in Berlin, but it's definitely not something where, where a whole village or whole city
is like the spiritual city.
Maybe find that more in like the, the region of Ventland in Germany.
Um, so there are kind of regions where it's more prevalent, but to go, to go out on the
street and ask people of, whoo, hey, how will you?

(49:32):
How does the solar eclipse fail to you?
Is, I don't know if I would dare that you, Germany would be a lot of fun though.
I don't do what people would say.
So I either enjoyed a fancy beverage or a good conversation with a friend, but a lot
of the times I was just sitting there and contemplating the jinkies, my jinkies, jinkies

(49:58):
of, of clients.
I started doing jinkies initiations, which I just, oh my God, I loved it.
Because very much like this, this situation here in, um, sitting, sitting literally on
the field hosting this podcast for you.
Um, I was always, I was always wondering why I can't mix and freestyle.

(50:28):
So many of the things that I've learned over the many, many, many years, I'm doing something
around expanding awareness.
And I mean, for everyone who knows me a little closer, like I've come a long way from, from
just being a solution focus coach to organizational development to hosting big, big workshops

(50:51):
to, um, whoa, you know, like mediumship and, and, and keeling.
And now I was like, I really want to go out in, in Uber with clients and I want to find
the perfect cafe or restaurant for them, which kind of fits, fits their style, their perception

(51:17):
that I have of them, like who they are.
And then I would, if they say, okay, so, you know, let's do a jinkies initiation as a,
as a paid session and, and like I really got paid for that session, which I'm like still
celebrating.
It was so sweet.
And so then I, I went out and I found the perfect location.
And I really dressed up the way that honors them and me and the occasion.

(51:43):
And then I, the days before I walked through town and I found little presents, like little
gifts, things that, that made them feel so special and so wanted and prioritized and
chosen as a client.
Because I, like honestly, I don't believe in clients just being random people.

(52:04):
They're not.
You know, they're just not because everyone is super special.
And the, and holding a space for another human and really making them wanted and unique and
properly seen is such a healing approach in itself.

(52:30):
Because because I am, like I am not a healer in the way of that I am doing the healing.
I'm, I'm firmly rooted in that whoever is actually telling you that they're a healer
and they mean that they are the ones healing.
It is absolutely not what I believe.
I believe I'm like a, I'm like a vessel for, for the reality, the light, the love, the,

(52:58):
the love.
I'm basically like a, like a channel that helps the other one become who they already
are by expansion, by discovery, by inquiry.
And I'm like the support human basically.
So yeah.

(53:19):
And then we would sit there at this beautiful spot for sometimes like four hours and really,
like really take time.
And I, I love listening and making sense of the stories and, and providing this incredibly

(53:40):
patient, but also very, like very engaged session frame.
Because I remember when I was, when I was doing the, or when I was using healing tools
or hypotherapy, psychotherapy, healing sessions, whatever, they would be an hour to an hour

(54:05):
and a half.
And then sometimes I would feel like I'm not, I'm not done yet.
Like I'm, I need, I need time to integrate or I need time to make sense out of this.
And I never saw someone really taking the time to, to stay until the circle is feels
complete.
So done to actually be able to do this was just, oh, yes.

(54:31):
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
There was so much, so much love and so much confirmation in that to not be limited by
we at calendar times and frames and hours or like, ah, no, no, no, no, not having it.
Yeah.
So that was, there was a lot of the everyday delights.

(54:56):
Wow, people, like I'm proud of you.
Staying with me.
Like we are, we are half, we're half, half way through the arenas.
And now we're coming to the third one.
And the third one is the culture in, in Bali and mostly in Ubud.

(55:23):
How, how does it feel?
Like what is, what is my perception?
And of course, I am not aiming for right or wrong here.
Like not playing the polarity game, just playing the, the sharing and the reminiscing
game.
I think I want to start with, with something incredibly wise that Alan Watts taught me.

(56:00):
Which is his approach that when he was studying American philosophy, that came a point when
he started looking at Chinese like Buddhist, Hinduist and Taoist philosophy.

(56:27):
And he said the reason why he was doing this was because he wanted, he wanted the contrast.
He wanted to feel or explore the other thing to understand better in what kind of swamp
or or mostly unconscious water he was actually swimming in.

(56:54):
And I was like, that makes total sense to me, like I get it.
And then I noticed that come, like going from, from Germany and flying all like literally
half time, like half around the globe.
So New Zealand is not so far away.
It's like, it's like three hours by, by five hours by, by flight, it's not nub for.

(57:19):
So like very much around the globe, I, I realized how different it actually is.
So the culture in Ubud is very watery, very flowy and very, very relaxed.

(57:44):
And there is a lot of business actually.
And you see, there are so many, so many cafes, so many new people who come to do yoga trainings.
And there are some very big places like yoga bar, like the alchemy.

(58:05):
So when you go there, you will, you will find that these are major centers to offer some
form of event and there are many, many, many, many others.
So there is a lot going on.
And that's an interesting combination of that Ubud feels very chilled and there is nothing
urgent.
People don't run.

(58:26):
They don't have staccato lifestyles.
Nobody tells you that there is trust or that there is so much to do.
What you do see that there, there is a big difference between Western people or like

(58:49):
white people and indigenous barley Indonesian people.
So the Indonesian people, the difference is they work a lot.
Their days are super long and you always see them continuously doing something.

(59:14):
So either they are working on the rice fields or they are preparing something for ceremony.
I am still amazed they use 80% of their income for ceremony.
80%.
It's like it is as if we in Germany, we would pay 80% of our income to church.

(59:43):
So that would be like having 2000 euros a month and you would pay 1600 euros to the
church for like every month.
It's a lot of money.
It's very interesting that this lifestyle.

(01:00:06):
So ceremony is a big, big, big, big thing.
And of course, deep diving into the deep end of the pool with Balinese ceremonial culture
that is for sure five podcasts.
There is a lot to it.

(01:00:30):
Yeah, there is a lot to it.
It's very fascinating.
Yeah, so Ubad can be an incredible vortex of chilling with your ceremonial cacao in
Sayuri's which is a super nice, it's called Sayuri's Healing Food.

(01:00:57):
Life music and really, really good food.
So yay.
And it's like the social magnet of Ubad, you'll always find someone there.
So either you go to say yours and you just pretend to sit, but then music starts and
then people walk in and because everyone is always so radiant and ecstatic and really

(01:01:21):
happy.
People get caught in conversation, in a dance, in an event so quickly that it's actually,
you really need to want to have time for yourself.
So this is why I left the city twice, one time for Kintamani, which is the village on

(01:01:46):
the lake of Mount Batur, which is the volcano.
So I went there for five days and the hike the Mount Batur for sunrise, which is stunning.
So, so, so good.
And then we got up very early in the morning again and again for sunrise tools with a scooter

(01:02:09):
and that was, that was, yeah, Kintamani.
And the other one was Isidaman, which is a west, an hour west of Ubad, beautiful nature
location.
And for me it was really good to see a different type of barley, which is also very naturey

(01:02:36):
and very, it can be very quiet, but then there is not so much spiritual event stuff going
on.
So that was, that was good to get out.
So if you go to, go to Bali and to Ubad and after a while you go like, like, I don't
know where my head is, consider, consider just driving an hour or one and a half hours

(01:03:00):
outside and chill there for the weekend to, to recenter and literally don't do anything.
You know, people can actually get burnt out from living in Ubad.
It's, it's really a thing.
It's very fascinating.
So what, what I really found interesting is in general people are very friendly, like

(01:03:29):
everyone is just very, very friendly and the difference that makes is very difficult to
put into words.
Yeah, everywhere you go you, you get a smile, people, people greet you on the street and

(01:03:53):
especially the Indonesian people, they're so kind and open to Westerners and they're
not at all resentful or, no, they're not at all resentful.
Yeah, I guess it's, it's the concept of, of good karma.
So whatever you do to someone else, it comes back to you in some way and then you have

(01:04:17):
to deal with yourself with, with yourself.
There is also this interesting feeling in, in Ubad for me, which is a little bit like
living in Eden, in the garden, like in paradise.

(01:04:38):
You are, you literally have everything or I had everything that I wanted and needed.
So the, the, the life satisfaction and the satiation becomes so tangible that there is
almost this feeling of being lazy and of like, why would I even need to do anything or take

(01:05:03):
the initiative for, for anything when I am so incredibly fine and well here.
There is literally nothing to do.
You just, you just chill and float and it feels like, it feels like a, yeah, like one
of these amazing summer marriage celebrations or if you have been to one of these, um, he

(01:05:31):
had anistic festival so everyone just floats around and has feathers and crowns and diadems
and all of these fancy things.
I can feel very much like that.
Everyone's dressed nice and, and there is good music and ecstatic dancers and, and the
beginning I, I stood there and I was just shaking my head and going like, is that really, like,

(01:05:54):
is that really a thing that a whole village feels like this?
Oh my God.
I was laughing a lot.
That was really, really good.
Something I absolutely want to share which I found so delightful is, is the, when you

(01:06:16):
meet the, the Indonesian people in the morning, they say, they say the following, Selamat
Pagi, where you go?
Selamat Pagi means good morning.
So, and it's, um, Selamat, my lahm, Selamat Pagi.
So depending on the times of the day, you say a good morning, good afternoon, good evening.

(01:06:42):
And they always stretch their ease.
So Selamat Pagi.
And something I, I discovered as a big difference is they never ask you, where have you been
or how are you?
Um, or nothing like what's going on.
They always ask you where, where you go, where do you go?

(01:07:05):
And then they're completely content when you say the place where you go next.
And that could be a massage place.
That could be visited friendly other side of town.
It doesn't really matter.
It is just their version of how are you?
And I, and I was like beginning to contemplate the effect on a culture when everyone just

(01:07:31):
asks each other the next step of where, where do you go?
It's fast, and there is something very fascinating about this.
Um, also something I, I really liked is that in Bali you negotiate.
So you can always ask for, um, for, can we negotiate or can you make me a good deal?

(01:07:57):
And then depending on, um, on if it, if you go to the market or if it's, um, if it's a
shop, like a more western oriented shop, then you cannot, then you cannot negotiate for
like say a coffee, you don't negotiate, but for, for clothes or for souvenirs, um, you

(01:08:18):
can negotiate.
And especially when you go in the morning, they will give you quite a big price reduction,
like up to like 50% easily.
And then they will say for good luck, for good luck for the day.
And then they will take the, the money, which is, I mean, always in the hundred Ks.
So you go like hundred, 200, 300 K when you go to the market and they take, they take

(01:08:44):
your money and they touch all of their items with your money and say, for good luck, good,
luck, good luck, good luck.
And then they touch everything and they touch you and they touch themselves and it's like
they're blessing the shop with the success of a good business for the day with your money.

(01:09:06):
It's such a cute little ritual.
I love it.
Um, yeah.
Yeah, I guess that was, uh, that was definitely what I felt for the culture.
And one thing, um, I'm becoming aware, which is a difference to here to Germany.

(01:09:30):
Nobody ever talks about the weather because it is literally 28 something degrees every
day.
It's always warm.
There is no need to talk about the weather because it's always sunny except if there's,
if there's rain, but if you notice, like it's not the kind of rain we have in Europe, which

(01:09:51):
can go for a long time or there is like, it's overcast or something.
No, most of the time it is blue sky.
And when it's, it's raining, you see like really gray, dark clouds creeping up and then
the rain is like a curtain.
You are, you are damped to your underpants within 10 meters.

(01:10:19):
Like if it's really raining, it is really raining.
That's very fascinating.
So people talking more about the traffic in Ubud than about the weather.
Yeah, but if they talk about something, they're always incredibly happy about it.

(01:10:42):
When they go like, when they take someone to, of their relatives to the hospital and my
reaction would be, oh no.
And there's like, every week, not so bad doing this again.
And at like the first beginning, I looked at them and like, why are you smiling?

(01:11:04):
And it's just a conditioning.
If something bad happens, they laugh, they laugh about it and then they continue.
It's such a healthy response.
I was very impressed and also a little astounded.
Guys, you are amazing.

(01:11:25):
Sticking with me for so long.
Because now we are reaching a moment which I'm, it's probably the most personal, soft
display and it's about my expansion.
So where did I really grow?

(01:11:49):
So where did I grow my awareness and also where did I embrace the emptiness?
Where did I embrace my emptiness?
And this is very much where I want to take you from this view, the perception of the

(01:12:11):
outside of where did I stay?
From when to when did I stay where?
And then the culture and like all of the things that we had so far, which are very much like
outwards, outward oriented.
So then you can get a feeling of, of uber enough barley and maybe considered going there too.

(01:12:34):
Now it's about really sharing what the time has done for me.
So I felt my nervous system relax a lot.
And when I was preparing for this episode, I was really thinking about the narratives

(01:12:57):
why that is.
One thing for sure is, oh for sure that I'm, that I think is it's such a, I really felt
at home.
I really felt at home among all of the people who are also spiritual.

(01:13:20):
I never felt judged or criticized or diminished or forgotten in any way with being the spiritual
being that I had become over the years.
The culture feels very patient.

(01:13:41):
There is a, there is a sustainable rhythm in how people do things.
For the Balinese people, it is, it is still a lot of the workload.
They're working hard.
Like it's not, it's not an easy life.

(01:14:03):
But it's the, the, the patience that is really a felt experience was so, that was so relaxing,
so relaxing for me.
I really felt like I could, I could put down a lot of armor, a lot of pretending, a lot

(01:14:29):
of the mental load that I feel here in Germany.
And that was what I, what I really contributed to this nervous system relax is that I've

(01:14:51):
found so many offers to nourish my needs.
And that's something really important for me.
It's, it's amazing if you and me, we know our needs.

(01:15:14):
However, if there is no availability or capacity to meet that need by your parents, your partner,
the culture, yourself, whatever it is, then it, it could actually be highly frustrating

(01:15:37):
staying constantly aware of the need.
Because then you're very close to constantly lacking the fulfilling of the need.
If you are not a being, which is taking the initiative and doing something to get that
neat met.

(01:15:58):
Because the need is not going away.
You, like you can try to cover it to kind of intermittently forget it.
But you can't really make a need for divine connection or for, for social belonging, just
disappear.

(01:16:19):
This doesn't work.
And something I find really interesting being, I mean, I've been here, I've been here in
Germany six days now.
And ever since I, I was sitting in the airplane, in the plane again, back, my lips have completely

(01:16:44):
changed again.
Which is super interesting as a, as a sensitive reaction of my body to the environment here
in, in Germany and mostly, I mostly feel very hot.

(01:17:07):
So there is a lot of fire element and, and, and my lips are dry and are burning.
And in, in Bali, I had a fantastic health.
Like I was really, I looked super radiant and very alive and had so much joy and so much
fun.
And it was, I felt, I felt more healthy and more alive than I had, than I had in a long

(01:17:31):
time.
Not so fit because there is, you never walk a, a literally I had to go to the gym.
Otherwise I was, I didn't even make it to five or 1000 steps a day because I was, you
have to drive with everyone with your scooter too.
So combining the good food and the lattes and the scootering and the non pedestrian things,

(01:17:56):
like you really need to look out for, for working out.
Otherwise it's not happening.
That was, that was very interesting.
And that's something which is different here in Germany.
There's so many, that's, that's for sure something I missed.
The fields and the, the wide roads and just options to actually take a walk with a friend.

(01:18:23):
Don't take a walk with a friend.
You, you, you sit somewhere and have a good drink with a friend.
Yeah.
The second thing where I really expanded is, is to take the courage and to really, that's

(01:18:45):
also something I learned.
Allowing, really allowing something to, to come into my life to really show up is a form
of courage.
Because what I'm doing is I'm removing the resistance.
I'm no longer standing in my own way.
It feels like a, it's not a, it's not even a passive form of courage, but it's a more

(01:19:09):
gentle, maybe more feminine approach to courage.
So I really, I really allowed myself to double tap into, double click into these delight practices
that I have, that I was denying myself for, for many years.

(01:19:32):
Which is, which is really interesting because something, okay, now I'm taking you on a little
loop again.
It's like a, it's a little teaching loop that I learned the other day from an Instagram
trauma therapist and I loved it.
This is why I want to share it.

(01:19:54):
She says, people often ask her why healing takes so long.
Which is an amazing question for itself.
And she says the first, it, it's because there are different stages of healing and different
skill sets that you need for the healing.
So the, the first healing stage is, feels like a merry-go-round.

(01:20:17):
You have, like it's fast and it's turbulent and you don't really know where you are.
So this is why the skill set is, name it to tame it, name it to tame it.
So what you do is you put a timeline to your experiences, your name, your experiences.
It's a lot of mental sequential kind of work to actually get an understanding of where am

(01:20:43):
I, what am I doing, what's going on.
And then the second stage of the healing feels more like a spiral staircase.
So it goes down or up, up or down, whatever you, whatever you have.
Anywho, it's about the feel it to heal it approach.
Which is very different to the name it to tame it.

(01:21:05):
The feel it to heal it approach is very much more emotion based.
It's more body based.
It adds perspectives and layers of experience to the pattern to bring it to completion.
And then the third one is a picture that, I don't know if you know this, it's called

(01:21:31):
Stairs and Slides.
It looks like a picture where just so many things are going on and then a little, there
is a staircase when you enter down and then you climb all the way up, you come up and
it's completely different place.
And on the same picture, there are also slides that go all across the picture.

(01:21:57):
So it's very turbulent.
It's very kind of all over the place.
And but that is a very different approach to this merry-go-round of the first one because
you already know the path, you have felt it, you have healed it.
But then in some contexts, you feel like you enter this whole of a slide, you slide down

(01:22:25):
and you come out somewhere completely different and you go like, what's going on?
And then to really let that go, the name for that is, grieve it to leave it.
And it's like the end of the cycle that you just need to grieve the pattern and to forgive

(01:22:50):
it and you don't need to understand it, you don't need to make sense of it sequentially,
you have already felt it through, but there is something that is just like the raw remnants
that prevents you from actually really moving forward.

(01:23:11):
So coming back, closing the loop on this little teaching, which I just find amazing in these
three steps, three phases and the three different approaches is that for some reason, in Germany,
I wasn't, I was not aware that I didn't really feel safe to feel the desire of dancing.

(01:23:46):
And because of the fear of, a lot of the fear of judgment of actually judging myself, because
I have judged myself so fiercely in the past that I seriously managed to traumatize myself
in dancing classes, for sure.

(01:24:09):
I was very painful and then projecting this outside and seeing, okay, that the environment
is not really holding me or I can't hold myself.
And then to not put an extra layer of armor on top and go like, why are you not dancing,

(01:24:31):
why are you not dancing?
For some reason it wasn't the time, but then after two and a half months of Bali, there
was the time and I was dancing and that was amazing.
I have to open the door a little bit, get in fresh air, still in the car, still on the

(01:24:54):
field.
Oh, God, I love this.
Another expansion that called me that I'm, when I'm looking to this, I feel proud to

(01:25:16):
have tried and to have, not tried, but to have chosen this and also to have been very
specific of what I wanted.
It's about a Bufo ceremony.
I don't know how many of you know what Bufo is, it is a very, it's a, first of all, it's
a toad.
It's a Brazilian toad.

(01:25:38):
But it's not about the toad, it's about the five mio DMT that the toad carries as a vessel
in its saliva or the, like the secretion that the toad produces.

(01:25:59):
So what you do is you smoke it and it completely opens your pinial gland.
Like no kidding.
Smoking Bufo.
I've done quite some psychonautic traveling with, with LSD and magic mushrooms and MDMA

(01:26:22):
and like just different awareness and consciousness enhancing substances for Bufo for sure a strong
one.
It's also called the molecule of the gods or the god molecule, whatever you, you know,
which whichever, where you want it.

(01:26:44):
And that whole experience, yeah, if like the same thing with, with the other things like
I don't, that is for sure something expanded me a lot.
But it's, it's its own story in its own right that I don't want to spoil with like just in

(01:27:09):
between.
So same thing, do me a favor if you want to know more about the Bufa Serenie because
you're incredibly interested in how this works and what do you need to know and, and who
to do it with and the process and yada yada because it's a lot.
I am happy to record a podcast with all of my perspectives and experiences.
Which I think it, like it's probably good.

(01:27:34):
So just let me know.
I'm, I'm waiting for your ping or DM or form of interaction to call me into that.
Then I will do this.
Okay.
The next delight I tried and I received more is also something very gentle, very, yeah,

(01:28:05):
like very beautiful.
It's called Yoni de armoring.
So for, for all of you who have literally no idea what this is, Yoni is the tantric, the
tantric name for your pussy, for your vagina.
And de armoring is the word used when your body goes into a protective freezing due to

(01:28:39):
a trauma.
And that can literally be any part shoulder, throat, and for many people, it is around
the sexual organs due to abuse, some major or minor traumatization.

(01:29:01):
And then the, the tissue is no longer so available for, for sensual experience as this kind of
numb, it freezes, it has a lot of tension.
So your body is like basically tense all the time.
And I had, I had this, I mean, this is incredibly intimate.

(01:29:26):
And this is, and this is why I'm sharing it on a podcast.
When I went to Angspaka last year in, and I discovered Tantra, more and more, and I
went to the Sex Abidity Festival.
So I had, I had many experiences around pleasure and Yoni.
And I was like, something is not quite online down there.

(01:29:51):
I'm like, don't really know what to do.
And I feel like I can't really do it myself.
So well, I need someone to, to take care of her and to, to, to lean into, to really
listen what, what I need, what my, Yoni needs, what the tissue needs.

(01:30:13):
So, and of course I'm aware that because this is such a intimate and sensitive topic, it
is super easy to just avoid, to, instead of leaning in, lean out and go like, nah.
Well, you know, I am putting that on the long haul because this is just incredibly sticky

(01:30:38):
and wha ha ha.
But then because what this, this magical place that it is, I was literally sitting at a party.
And that was this, this beautiful man.
And we were having a conversation and the conversations in Uboard are more like, what's

(01:30:59):
true for you right now?
What do you feel interested?
What is calling you?
Where is, what is your medicine?
What are you sharing with the world?
Like these are the forms of first questions that people offer each other.
And it's not about, hey, what do you do?
What is your job?
Like, I guess if you ask that people go like, uh, what?

(01:31:22):
It's very reverse.
Anyway, we had a conversation and I said that I'm actually curious about Yoni de Amoring
and, and how it feels and, um, that I would really like to receive a session.
And he looked at me, he's like, actually, I'm a trained tantra massage therapist and,
and also trained in, in Yoni de Amoring.

(01:31:44):
And I was like, are you?
This is very bizarre.
So there was one of the many, many, many moments where I proved to myself that I am just a
legendary manifestation queen of calling stuff in.

(01:32:05):
It was, I was laughing.
I looked at him very much like blinking big eyes and you're like, you, oh, really?
Wow.
Okay.
Um, yeah.
So that is, I'm not going to, so for everyone who's like, okay, no, what happens?

(01:32:27):
Um, I'm not going to go into that kind of detail because that is a little too proud for
me.
If you guys want to know more and you feel called out, you want to talk to me about this, do
talk to me in private about this, then I can go into how de Amoring really works for me.

(01:32:48):
In general though, that is definitely was something I want to say and I want to encourage
you.
So one of the more powerful and gentle healing approaches embodiment wise that I've ever
encountered, especially in Germany.

(01:33:14):
I mean, I'm, I'm all curious about all kinds of healing of expansion, awareness expansion
like all of these.
There is a lot of the body of knowledge around mental healing is gigantic in Germany, like
everything, hypnotherapy, psychotherapy.
So that also hypnotherapy, I did an education.

(01:33:36):
So I'm now a licensed hypnotherapist.
Yes.
Whoo.
Um, so, and that's a lot of fun, but that also works with the subconscious mind and not
so much with emotions.
So emotions, because they live in the body because they're so embodied is more something
dance or singing or gentle touching.

(01:34:00):
And these are, it's a different form of approach.
And you can't really change, exchange one with the other.
It's very much like this merry-go-round spiral staircase and this stairs and slides metaphor

(01:34:22):
that I said a couple of minutes ago, you need to know which approach is necessary when because
they target different things.
So on your healing journey, you need many modalities.
And this is why so many, there is actually a need for so many different coaches and approaches
and healers and techniques because everyone needs different approaches and different styles

(01:34:50):
of holding space for your healing on a personal level.
So there is, there is net, the necessity and the need for all of these different techniques
and styles and tools.
So it's, they're, they're not interchangeable.
This is, this is what I really want to get in.

(01:35:14):
So I mean, as you, as you can see with Bufo and with the only de-armoring and now the
third one that I'm going to tell you, the theme is that I allowed my early to let go
of my God.
Whereas he in Germany, I felt, or like, I mean, it's kind of the same now.

(01:35:35):
I feel very put together.
I feel very much like I have my stuff figured out and that there is actually a lot of danger
letting my God down and being vulnerable and being very feminine.
It's very interesting for me.
It's very environmental.

(01:35:56):
Very much so.
So in, in, in, in Uubud, I met this amazing Camilla that I am now quoting for the third
time.
So, this, this one was just like the friggin force of nature.
Amazing, amazing, amazing.
I mean, there's so many other people that I really felt incredibly inspired and wide-eyed

(01:36:23):
about like you.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
That's a great heart.
Just an amazing kind of human.
And Camilla is definitely, definitely very at the top there.
So once on day I was doing a hypnotherapy session and it was, I think it was in between

(01:36:47):
the solar, like the half moon eclipse and the solar eclipse.
So there's a lot of energy just flowing around everywhere.
And I was, I think I was also, we had just had a long talks for some reason.
I was tired.
I was like, Oh my God.
I had, I had giving so much presence and understanding and sensing and awareness and

(01:37:11):
there's so much stuff floating through me that I was really a little, little edgy.
And usually when I feel like this, I take care of myself.
I'm like, okay, so now I'm retreating and I'm going, I'm going away to then return and

(01:37:37):
it's, but it's not really fun.
It's, it's, I would love someone to take care of me in these moments.
And, and I called her and I was like, Oh, man.
And she's, she's incredibly safe in her body and just amazingly skilled as a sound healer

(01:37:59):
and as a, as a trained opera singer.
So and she also, she's, she's also born Colombian and has this, this very powerful medicine,
a medicine woman background.
So she's like, yeah, come on, I'm going to give you a sound healing session.

(01:38:20):
And I was like, really?
And I, it's very hard for me to explain the, the tenderness and the humbleness that I feel
when such a strong energy being takes time to attune and to listen and to, to serve me

(01:38:47):
with a ceremony to nourish my system.
It is incredibly beautiful and such a labor of love.
But it's also incredibly vulnerable to ask for it because in these moments, and no is

(01:39:12):
it hurts, you know, like the, there is always a chance and a free direction and an, an
have learned that rejection is actually a redirection and, and to not get stuck on a no is like,
never ever and you don't deserve this is more like, Hey, I don't have the capacity or not

(01:39:34):
right now or not in this form or maybe later or like, like, some, like some form of redirection.
And in this, in, on this day, it was just the most beautiful session and I, I feel so appreciated.
That was, that was just beautiful.
So whenever you feel that you also need something like this and you like, I, I, I wish that you

(01:40:02):
at least try, you reach out to someone that you believe can, can give you this beautiful
experience and, and allow them to take care of you.
It is, it is probably exactly what both of you need because it's, it's really a current

(01:40:23):
of love that starts to build up between people.
It's wonderful.
Yeah, so we're coming, we're coming closer to an end, lovely souls.
Coming closer to an end.
Something that I'm, that is still alive and near with a conversations around fat shaming

(01:40:50):
and women.
Why is this?
I told you about this beautiful parody, so, Eros, contact, impro dance.
I feel like I'm just freestyling off the words together.
It's like a very long, cocktail list of everything that you mix together.

(01:41:16):
Very funny.
But it's like really what it is.
You touch people and, and in the most dancy kind of loving way.
And I was dancing a couple of times with, I think she was the most beautiful woman on
the whole dance floor.
She's a, she's an activist and an artist and she's poetry and a writer and she's also a

(01:41:42):
black woman from India.
Or, yeah, like brown, black, whatever.
In my, in my terms, she was probably the most beautiful woman on the whole dance floor.
She's incredibly juicy, incredibly juicy and has like these long, black, amazing hair.

(01:42:05):
It is, oh God, I was enchanted.
I was like, really, oh God, this is, this is like liquid love.
And then after one, one dance, we went out for dinner and started talking about what,
like what is in a, what is in our field right now.

(01:42:27):
And we had this long conversation about how especially women should look like and how
much fat we are supposed to have and where we are not supposed to have fat and how sexual
is actually valuable that makes us.
And like just the whole pattern around being identified with a certain body type.

(01:42:55):
That was also something that came, that, that kind of pierced through the floaty things
and about UBERT in my awareness.
There is, there are so many beautiful women in UBERT.
I heard someone say that the ratio of women to men in UBERT is seven to one.

(01:43:22):
This is why so many men actually go there because it's such a yoga place.
The whole community of Russian women is, is a whole.
Like a whole vibrational field in themselves because the Russian women are very skinny.

(01:43:51):
As I don't know anything about it.
Like I just see, I just see the, like the correlation like Russian and very well dressed
and very, very skinny.
And then everyone else is, is very like beautiful and dressed up.

(01:44:12):
And there is a lot of value put on, on to beauty, which is nice, which is very nice
to experience.
And then it also creates this kind of worthiness, pressure of, of conformity.

(01:44:36):
So I guess it's all this, this melting pot of unconditionally accepting and taking the
responsibility towards who I am and who you are.
Because comparing is incredibly easy and often painful.

(01:45:05):
So if you're not a little kinky about being your own messiest, yeah, just get comfortable
with how you look and who you are.
And I'm telling that to myself while I'm telling that to you.
You know, it's, it, it is not, it's definitely a point where I'm stuttering and I feel like,

(01:45:31):
ah, that's a sweet spot.
But that was, that was a good conversation around fat shaming.
How, how women, how thin or not thin or curvy or whatever women are supposed to be to, to

(01:45:52):
be juicy, to be lovable, to be desired.
It was, it was very conditional.
Oh yeah, a coming to an end, but also, um, to a very, um, yeah, I just say that it's

(01:46:16):
a very, um, edgy topic.
Um, it's a topic about safety and politics and blame and the German involvement or the,
the German history and approach towards Palestine.

(01:46:38):
It was, it was really very, very interesting on the day of the solar eclipse.
Um, I went to a family dinner, which is a beautiful Monday evening meeting hosted by
Christal, who's, uh, yeah, like a networking goddess in UBERD.

(01:47:04):
And she literally has everyone.
And Kim and I, we went there.
And then afterwards I said, okay, so it's a solar eclipse.
Do you want to do a ceremony?
She's like, of course we are.
And we, we didn't even make it to, to really sit down and drink a cow and, and so like,
be in formal ceremony, but instead we dismantled the shadows in our own lives and the shadows

(01:47:32):
and the collective for four hours in her kitchen.
Um, which was super interesting because the solar eclipse is literally about the moon casting
a shadow on the face of the earth and showing where humanity has this, this big shadow where

(01:47:53):
nobody wants to look at in the collective field and also in the personal field.
And that is about blame, about shame, about unhealed trauma, about, um, nasty entanglements.
And, and, and that was, um, that was something, I mean, we're still in the category of where

(01:48:15):
I have, where I have progressed and where I expanded my awareness.
It was, um, it was really a conversation about shame for me.
If this, this shame of, like being shamed as a, as a German person, really, and that

(01:48:41):
is, like, I'm not, I'm not looking for anyone to, to, to argue with me about this.
I'm just, I'm just stating that that is an aspect that I sometimes find within myself
when I think about German history and I go like, there is just so much shame I perceive.

(01:49:03):
And then I see, and then I see effects of, of that shame.
And, um, it's also we are just still finding that within me and then to make an effort
to, to share that with, with other people because once, once I speak up about something

(01:49:25):
that I am ashamed about, I can't, I can't really, I can't really stay ashamed, you know,
like there is, um, there might still be this, this thing of like, I don't know how, I don't
know what to do about it.
Or I might perceive myself to be in a situation where I can't take the initiative to change

(01:49:48):
something about it, but at least it's no longer covert and very much like the pink elephant
in the room that everyone goes like, oh yeah, of course.
And, and you're like, yeah, why is not, like, why is this not changing?
What, like, what's going on?
Um, so the entanglement of German politics and German history and, and the, the behavior

(01:50:15):
and also the, the choosing aside or choosing an involvement in the, in the Palestinian,
um, dynamic, I guess.
That was something where I really, um, I felt very much put on the spot because I, I had

(01:50:43):
chosen to, because of the pain and the, and the confusion and the discomfort to, to not
even be informed about this whole history.
Um, and I guess this, this is a perfect bridge to, to the last arena that I want to cover

(01:51:04):
in this epic, very long podcast today.
Um, and that's about the, the arena of what's next.
So in this arena, I want to share with you that I'm a, I am a believer in starting something

(01:51:30):
and letting something die.
So this, this circle of life and death is something that is, for me, very obvious in
the seasons.
It's very obvious in moon cycles, in, um, in female bleeding cycles.

(01:51:54):
It's very, it, it is something inherently biological that in many human made projects
or businesses, we, people have kind of the kink of pretending they're gods and they can

(01:52:15):
just sustain life forever, which is just that is, that is so hilarious.
And also oftentimes wrong, dangerous and not at all wise.
Um, okay.
So rent and, um, it really means that, that I'm aware of the circle of life and death and,

(01:52:41):
um, people are asking me a lot of, are you going to stay in Bali?
Are you going to come back to Germany?
Are you going to stay in Germany?
So there is, there is this genuine interest of Sabrina, what are you going to do next?
What's the next thing?
Which to be honest, often puts me on the spot because right now I choose very much to sense

(01:53:04):
my way through life and I make, I make pauses to feel, to actually be available for the next
thing rather than thinking the next thing.
It's a very different call, you know, I hope you know, I hope you have a sense of what I'm

(01:53:26):
talking about.
And, um, it is, it is a big contrast to living in a business world where, where everything
is planned.
You know, you have a plan and then you have to follow up on the plan and the plan has
to be successful.
Otherwise it's incredibly expensive.
Yadda yadda yadda.

(01:53:49):
Um, I feel, I feel my stomach contracting when I think about this is, there's, this is, this
is weird.
Um, so the reason why I'm bringing this up is that I felt after four months of Bali in
April, it's, it's enough.
I very much love this place and it's enough.

(01:54:13):
I'm not going to fly to Kula Lungpur and then back into the country.
I love to return and I, for sure will because there's so many people and there is, that
I love, there is a lot of recharging and beauty and, and just like there is a lot of love
and that's the perfect reason.

(01:54:37):
But there was also this knowing of I, I need to, I need to experience something else like
not life needs me somewhere else.
And I'm, I'm here intermediate wise at the place where my parents live.
And then the next thing is that I am, I'm going to the south of France to provolce,

(01:55:04):
to inquire more and, and sense and feel into Mary Magdalene.
For you guys who are closer to me, you probably, you've probably seen that especially like

(01:55:27):
in the last month or so, I've, I've posted more about her and who she was and, and the
story and the podcast that I'm, that I'm discovering.
I definitely plan to do podcasts around Mary Magdalene and what I've discovered with the

(01:55:50):
great flag of I am just starting the journey and there have been women who have been researching
Mary Magdalene for literally 30 to 40 years.
So they are, they are literally in the deep end like they, they're good swimmers, they

(01:56:11):
know where they are tonight.
I just feel this call so much of resurrecting this wife of Yeshua of Jesus from this gigantic
bullshit Christianity told around her about being a whore, about diminishing or forgetting

(01:56:37):
or twisting the, the feminine principle for 2000 years, it is crazy.
And the effects of forgetting this feminine principles are staring us in the face like
for sure.
And my, my whole family is, is a Catholic Christian and my, like the cells in my body go like we

(01:57:06):
are on, no, there is, there is a lot of inquiry stuff to do with like, no, this is so strange.
I want to know more of the truth.
I want to know more of what is the time as wisdom in there.

(01:57:27):
And I, and I can't, I can't yet really explain it, but it feels really important that I go
there.
I'm going to start next week.
I will take you with me.
And so if you want the daily, almost daily ping, you can, you can join me on Instagram.

(01:57:51):
It's Dr. Datsabrianeshmitz and in one word Dr. Datsabrianeshmitz is the Instagram handle.
And there you also see testimonials on, on the jinkies in initiation with pictures and
with hypnotherapy, like all of these things.
So if you're curious about all of this, do reach out, ask questions like, I really love

(01:58:16):
interaction.
I've been loving interaction ever since coaching workshops because I believe that, and if we
actually interact with something or someone, the learning is so much deeper and so much
more sustainable and it's not just being filled consuming something.

(01:58:43):
So I'm definitely inviting you to do that.
So yeah, I guess we are really at the end of this long podcast now.
And I just want to just want to wrap this up like we covered so much ground.

(01:59:08):
I mean, I, I call this episode Yang and Yin of Four Months of Bali.
And we started with very much structure of like, how did I set up my journey, the whole,
the whole thing, that's why that's how I called it, with scooters and places of living and
how, what's the timeline and how did I choose to live where in different rhythms.

(01:59:35):
And then we went to the, the category of everyday delights.
So things that are very special to Uber Bali that it's kind of hard to find in Germany.
And then we went through all of the delightful things that I chose.
Then we looked at the playground of culture.

(01:59:57):
So how does Uber Bali feel to me?
And then we went to the most intimate and personal stories of my expansion of really
sharing the practices that, that, that softened me as a, as a human, as a woman that kind

(02:00:22):
of opened me more up to, to the edges of where, where I couldn't chose to not hold myself.
And then really let the feminine be seen by someone else, which is so beautiful.

(02:00:45):
Pretty melty. And then the last point we just covered now is what's next, like allowing
things to come to an end, allowing things to die, to then have this winter, this nothing.
And then to start something again and actually have a life which has lived in cycles and

(02:01:10):
not as a permanent marathon.
I mean, if you love running a marathon, you do you.
But running a marathon is hard on your joints.
Like it's, it's, it's a, it's a crazy thing.
And after what's you need to break.

(02:01:32):
So if you're for mar, running a marathon for years, this might be a call to, to stop running.
To stop running.
Yeah.
All right.
Lovely people.
Don't really know how to end this now because it's been so long.

(02:01:58):
So, so long.
So what feels true is that I really want to encourage you to reach out.
There are so many options, you know, like Instagram, you can come on the Telegram channel.
That could definitely use your beautiful presence.

(02:02:20):
And you can also write me on LinkedIn.
You can write me an email, you can definitely put, how do you say this?
There is this option of answering a question in the podcast at Spotify.

(02:02:44):
So that's also the way you can interact.
But the most, the easy one is probably about an, on Instagram.
I would love, love, love to see you there.
And also I would really like to know if you want to, if you want to comment under today's
post, what it was that you took away from this episode because I've been sharing for so long.

(02:03:13):
I'm going to be bald.
There has to be something in that.
Come on.
Okay.
So, and if there were a couple of moments where I invited you to, to ping me if you want to
know more about this, please do.
Then I'm going to record a podcast about this because I actually, I do like, I do like you
guys like really pinging me about that.

(02:03:35):
I have a, like, I'm, I'm, I'm honest about, I have a thing about this.
Sometimes I want to be asked to do something.
There you go.
Expressing my need.
Okay, loves.
It was a great pleasure taking you with me on this field for today.
Be well.
Enjoy yourself.

(02:03:56):
Have a wonderful day.
And I hear from you soon again.
I love all of you.
Bye.
Bye.

(02:04:18):
Bye.
Alright.

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08 ° Soul-nourishing insights of 4 months Bali Ubud 12.23 - 4.2024

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}08 ° Soul-nourishing insights of 4 months Bali Ubud 12.23 - 4.2024