Episode 1: Intro and What to Expect

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Music.

(00:26):
Okay, everybody, welcome to episode one, numeral uno of The Hidden Window.
So first off, why The Hidden Window?
What's in a name? Besides that, I can't find one. You try and find a name.
You can't find everything.
Everything's taken, that's taken, but not a bad name. When you think about it,
window, what's it do? It lets in light.

(00:48):
What's hidden? It's kind of mysterious. So what What this show is going to do
is kind of open the light of truth, open some ideas, make you think a little differently.
It's going to be comprised of three components, and it's going to be a fast-moving show.
Probably, what, 15 minutes? So if you like it, hang in there.
It'll be back next week. If you don't, it'll be over soon, so don't worry about it.

(01:12):
But what it'll be is something lighthearted than news.
That'll be the first segment. Wait, that's not as easy as you think.
You look at the news and it's just
i mean you want to grab arms and walk into a chopper
blade you know what i mean so the final light-hearted segment that's going to
take me some doing and some time the next one is going to be a little bit about

(01:35):
a conspiracy some things you haven't heard before now you're probably going
to say i've heard everything trust me you got to trust me on on this.
I guarantee you have not heard of some of these things before.
So just trust me. And the last segment will be like ramblings of my mind,
which can always be strange. Who knows what direction that'll take.

(01:56):
So episode number one, I'm going to get some things out of the way.
I'm figuring the listening audience is going to be small, that being relatives,
my friend down in in Florida, my immediate family.
Well, I say my immediate family because I think...
They believe this show is going to have me winding up in a gulag.

(02:18):
And they may be right. We'll see. Time will tell.
But that's going to be the flow of the show. That's how we're going to do it.
Why am I doing this? I'm a talk radio junkie.
And I've been listening to talk radio for 35 years. And I cover about, I'm in sales.
I cover about five states. So you're thinking, all right, this guy says he's in sales.
Probably a BS artist and a liar. And you're probably spot on on both of those.

(02:41):
But nonetheless, I like talk radios, try and listen to podcasts.
And there were a few of them that were, and they just drone on forever.
They could be something on Antarctica.
I love stuff on Antarctica. So I listen to this podcast.
And for 20 freaking minutes, the guy's talking about his kid's soccer team,
his wife's cooking. I don't care.

(03:01):
Get to Antarctica. So I turn it off. Then I find one, and they're just so boring.
So I'm trying to make this fast-moving, fast-paced. mainly because I have raging
ADD. So that's one of the reasons for 15 minutes.
And the other is the attention span of the average consumers,
you know, about 15 minutes, a little over that of a net. So that's what I'm doing here.

(03:26):
And that's how we'll roll out this show.
And so welcome aboard. I mentioned everyone listening and there's going to be one extra person.
I figured there's some poor SOB sap, part of the alphabet boys.
Anyways, he's 12 stories under Langley, and they find this rookie,
you know, just poor sap, and they force feed them to listen to these shows to

(03:49):
make sure there's not some kind of maniac who wants to take over the world.
I'm not going to do that. Not yet. I don't think so.
But we're going to call this guy Bob. So welcome, Bob, to the show. Glad to have you here.
Let's go on to what I talked about. The first segment, some lighthearted news.
There was a turtle by the name of Bert.
And Bert the turtle was very alert.

(04:12):
When danger threatened him, he never got hurt. He knew just what to do.
He ducked and covered. Ducked and covered.
Reading the papers, reading, you know, the blogs, whatever that's out there.
And I come across a story, an eco story out of California. So you know it's

(04:35):
going to be on the fringe of weirdness, right? And you're going to be right.
What it is, they want to have a project that turns water, consumable water,
drinking water, from wastewater. Yeah, wastewater.
And you know what wastewater is. So I'm thinking to myself, what are they thinking
out there in California?

(04:55):
And it's always, you know, California is always on the fringe of that kind.
I'm like, a little bit bizarre. are.
And you go down the story and let's imagine like, so I'm traveling to LA and
that that's where the story originated from.
You're traveling to LA and you go to a hotel and.
And you're, you know, you're sitting there like, well, you know, I'm a glass of water.

(05:15):
And then you look and you see the restrooms across the hall and you start,
is that going to give a moment for pause?
Sure the hell would with me. So, I mean, is that someone's going to boost L.A.'s,
you know, people want to visit there? I don't think so.
I think that's bizarre. Waste water from water. I mean, I don't know.
What do you folks think? I think that's strange.

(05:37):
So let's move right into strange.
And the second part, what you're always going to do, is going to be something
you never heard of. It could be conspiracy.
It could be something that's just a little bit different, off the beaten path.
But it's something that you folks will never hear of.
So conspiracy. I look at conspiracy. And I think there's a conspiracy gene in most people.

(06:01):
I'm pretty sure of it. I'm sure we can check the DNA. And I'm sure it's there.
Anyhow, so I think there's a conspiracy gene. and I ain't pretty sure it doesn't
kick on until you're about 30 years old.
Why do I say that? You look at some 12-year-old kid.
He's in school. He's fed all this pablum. He's saying, why do I have to know
all this stuff? I'll never use it. And kid's probably right.

(06:23):
Yeah, but you're not going to use it. But, you know, I'm the Barry's kid.
You're stuck with it. So then you move on to your 20s.
Not much conspiracy there, other than you look at this girl and you're saying, why is he dating me?
Him. I don't, why is she going out like that? And that's the biggest conspiracy
you have when you're 20s. Then one day in your 30s, something goes off,

(06:47):
a trigger, an alarm, poof.
And all of a sudden the world is revealed about you. And you look at things
in a whole different way. Now, for me, I was a little different.
Mom, you're guessing already.
This guy's a little different. He's a little off the edge and you're probably right about that.
Most people think, what, UFOs, Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster,
that's probably the first conspiracy.

(07:08):
Now, my initials are JFK, so I was bound to run into conspiracies at some point
or another. Well, for me, it was none of those.
For me, it was Clam Dip.
Clam Dip, that's right, C-L-A. What does Clam Dip have to do with conspiracies?
Just hang on, just ride through this with me a moment. So I used to live in

(07:30):
Connecticut, and we were up there with my three young kids, the little crumb
crunchers, my wife and I, and a big deal for us was to get clam dip.
The best by far was Kraft. A hell of a came out with a line later on. It wasn't the same.
But Kraft was the best.
So you get your potato chips, your Kraft clam dip, you put on a movie.

(07:51):
Back then, you know, they had like, you know, you go to a store and still get
rent-a-movies, right? So Friday night, you get Clam Dip.
Little by little, I noticed it getting harder and harder to find.
So I would go to the store, and I would tell them, hey, where's your Clam Dip?
And they would always say, and they didn't mean that you were going to take
them up on it, was, well, if you want us to write down your name and number, we'll contact you.

(08:15):
So maybe in a pain in the butt, I would do that. I do it all the time.
Yeah, where's your Clam Dip?
And they would say, oh, we get it in, it's a warehouse issue, it's a problem.
Little by little, the clam dip started going away.
Until one day, I get a hold of the store manager, and he goes,

(08:36):
hey, we can't get clam dip anymore. I'm like, well, what do you mean you can't get clam dip anymore?
And it was gone. So, see?
You think this guy's maybe not so nuts after all. He said, liability issues.
And I'm thinking, come on, liability? liability, look what the stuff they sell in grocery stores.
They sell, you know, fresh fish, chicken livers, there's liability in everything,

(08:59):
but the pick on clam dip, why pick on clam dip?
All right. So that was my, that was my moment when the world was open to me.
After that, you know, I went down this path of weirdness and I've never turned back since.
So that's, that's where I'm at with that.
And now, now you folks think clam dip, think about it. Can you you find it? Is it out there? No.

(09:24):
So, you know, I'm not so far off the path on this. Am I? Not really. No.
All right. Then we get on to, you know, what I want to call just,
just to, you know, wrap this up.
I want to be sensitive to time because mostly it's me. I just,
you know, ADD. I can't, I can't stay on point too long at all.
Last segment. Know what? Know what? It could be anything. It could be a rambling

(09:45):
in my brain. It could be, in this case, it's going to be a pet pet peeve.
No, it's a pet peeve of mine. And it sounds stupid.
I mean, not as stupid as the clam did, but it's, it's probably odd, but not to me, not to me.
And that's what this show is about. Some things I find bizarre exclamation points.
Yeah. All right. Exclamation points.
Don't tell me you haven't thought about it. I remember show,

(10:07):
what was it called? School house rock.
Remember that shows in the seventies. So I'm dating myself.
It was out. It talked about everything and about how a bill passes through Congress,
which see where that got us.
But they would talk about, you know, verbs and adjectives. And once,
once y'all, they talked about exclamation points and when you use them.

(10:28):
Remember? Yeah. I remember the song. It was like, when you're happy or sad or
excited or mad, that, that, that, if you're not this strong,
remember something like that? I remember. That's how it went.
So, and I took that to heart. when you use an exclamation point and you hardly
ever use it unless you're really trying to express something. Today, oh no.

(10:50):
Exclamation points, they give them out like candy. I think it's the participation
trophy syndrome that all of us have.
And I think that's just, I think that's what it is. And it manifests itself in exclamation points.
You can get a bill from the electric company and you can do online,
which I never do, but let's say you do.
I've seen them. congratulations you paid your

(11:13):
bill exclamation point really well
then you go to work and work work is is a plethora of exclamation points on
email at work drives me nuts yeah out of my mind it's a short try for me so
and i look it's like got your email thank you exclamation come on on. Stop it.

(11:34):
Stop it already. It's driving me nuts. All right. That's the program.
Short and sweet. Like I told you, this is going to be just boom,
boom, boom, boom, in and out.
And so listen, folks, I will see you next week. Bob, have a good week. Hope things are good.
And I'll talk to you people soon. Take care. Hasta la vista.