29 - Choosing the Right Divorce Professionals

Episode Title: 29 - Choosing the Right Divorce Professionals Host: Melissa Wheeler Farag

Episode Summary:

In this episode of High Vibe Divorce, host Melissa Wheeler-Farag, a family law mediator and recovering divorce litigator, dives into the importance of selecting the right professionals to support you during your divorce journey. The professionals you choose can make or break your experience, and Melissa shares expert insights on how to navigate this process with clarity and intention.

Key Takeaways:

• Divorce is a Transformative Process – It’s not a failure, but an opportunity for personal growth.

• Choosing the Right Professionals – The right team can reduce stress, save money, and improve outcomes.

• Support is Key – Having the right professionals in your corner is as vital as support from friends and family.

Episode Highlights: 1. Setting Intentions for Professional Support

Melissa shares an affirmation card from The Soul’s Journey Lesson Cards by James Van Praagh:

"I am attracted to those people who serve my higher good." When selecting professionals, ensure they align with your values, goals, and desired divorce experience.

2. Why a Divorce Coach is Essential

• Helps you get organized, focused, and emotionally prepared for divorce.

• The American Bar Association recognizes divorce coaches as dispute resolution professionals.

• Look for a Certified Divorce Coach (CDC) or someone with mental health training.

• Divorce coaches assist in decision-making, communication strategies, and co-parenting.

3. The Benefits of Mediation Over Litigation

• Mediation is less adversarial, more cost-effective, and time-efficient.

• Courts are backlogged (especially in California), making litigation a slow and stressful process.

• Mediation fosters cooperation, which is especially important for co-parenting.

4. The Role of a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA)

• A CDFA helps with financial clarity:

  • Support calculations

  • Property division & settlements

  • Business & real estate valuations

• More affordable than attorneys and provides specialized knowledge on financial matters.

5. Certified Divorce Lending Professionals (CDLPs)

• If keeping or selling the family home is in question, a CDLP can provide mortgage solutions.

• Example: Tammy Wallensack (featured in a previous episode) specializes in divorce real estate solutions.

• Many professionals offer free consultations to help assess financial options.

6. Hiring the Right Attorney (If Needed)

• Litigation vs. Settlement Focus – Do you want an aggressive “bulldog” attorney, or someone solution-focused?

• Interview multiple attorneys – Don't hire the first one you meet.

• Ask about strategy – Will they support mediation? Do they promote settlement before trial?

• Beware of conflict-driven attorneys – If they push excessive discovery and litigation, reconsider.

• Know that firing an attorney is an option – If they are not serving your best interests, move on.

7. Other Key Specialists to Consider:

• Forensic Accountants – Useful for complex financial cases (businesses, pensions, hidden assets).

• Certified Divorce Real Estate Professionals – If real estate is involved, they provide guidance.

• Therapists & Mental Health Experts – Essential for emotional support and co-parenting strategies.

Melissa’s Final Thoughts:

• Educate Yourself – Utilize resources like ChatGPT to understand state-specific divorce laws.

• Operate f