Helpline: Strategies to help carers with grief and loss

People often think of grief as sadness felt when a loved one passes away. But grief can surface at many stages of caring for someone living with dementia, often in ways that you don’t expect.  

There are ways to care for yourself, find comfort and reconnect with what brings you happiness. This episode offers simple, practical ways to process those emotions while still embracing joy, connection and the things that make you feel like you. 

If you’d like personalised support, you can contact the National Dementia Helpline on 1800 100 500. You can call 24 hours a day, or request a callback, start a webchat or send an email with whatever is on your mind. 

Dementia Australia offers counselling support for caregivers and family members, find out more here.  

You can also listen to this episode of Hold the Moment to hear more about how other carers are working through their grief.   

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Hold the Moment is a podcast from Dementia Australia, produced by Deadset Studios.  

Follow Dementia Australia on Facebook and Instagram or find support resources on our website. 

This episode was hosted by Jim Rogers and Kristin, a National Dementia Helpline Advisor. It was produced by Luci McAfee. Executive producers are Gia Moylan and Kellie Riordan. 

The National Dementia Helpline is funded by the Australian Government.   

Dementia Australia and Deadset Studios acknowledge the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognise their continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to their Elders past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.  

Dementia Australia acknowledges and appreciates the support of the Australian Government for this initiative. 

 

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
[Music]
- Grief isn't somethingyou can prepare for.
It looks different for everyone.
As a carer, it might be constant,
or it could hit you out of nowhere.
But when it does, figuring out how
to cope can be the hardest part.
Hi, I'm Jim Rogers andthis is Hold The Moment.

(00:23):
A podcast by people living withdementia and their families.
You've probably just listenedto our episode on 'Grief'.
Where you heard Jenny talkabout the waves of emotion
that crash at many points ofyour experience with dementia.
If you haven't listenedto that yet, pause this,
and go and have a listen.
But this episode features expert advice

(00:45):
and tips from the NationalDementia Helpline.
The free helpline isavailable 24 hours a day.
Every day of the year.
If you call, you'll speak toan advisor, just like Kristen.
- As a carer, you mayfind yourself feeling all
sorts of feelings.

(01:05):
You might find that you feel overwhelmed
by sadness some days for no real reason.
Other days, you might be angry
and, and you can't figure out why.
These things are normalfeelings that all of us feel.
And as a carer, it can be really tricky
to still do all the thingsthat you need to do to get

(01:25):
through the day while navigatingall of these feelings.
Sometimes, just describinghow you're feeling
and how things are going, canhelp things feel just
a little more manageable.
When you give us a call
and you're describing some of the things
that you're feeling, you mightbe surprised if the advisor
brings up the word 'grief'.

(01:47):
You might be thinking,but my loved one's alive.
I see them every day.I care for them every day.
But something to think about,is that grief is about loss.
And there's all kinds of different ways
that we experience loss.
When you find out that yourloved one has a diagnosis
of dementia, sometimesthat changes the way

(02:08):
that the future's going to look,for you and your loved one.
You might be thinking ofall the plans that you had,
and how that's going to change.
That's a loss.
And you might feel some of the feelings
associated with grief.
Even after your loved one who wasliving with dementia has died.

(02:30):
The helpline is still a placethat you can call for support,
to talk things through
and to navigate how you'regoing to be in the world, now
that your loved one has gone.
[Music]
One of the things that you mightfind, is that you're
looking for something to do, tofeel a little better.

(02:53):
We don't have the answers
to make you feel a hundred percent.
But what we can do, is try
and help you tap intothe things that you love.
So, you might find usasking you questions like,
"What did you used tolove to do as a kid?"
And maybe you're notgoing to jump rope anymore,
but maybe you would like to go outside

(03:14):
and feel the sunshine on yourface, even if you can only do
that for two minutes.
Or maybe what you really loveto do, is jump in the shower
and blast it hot.
And maybe even stay in alittle longer than the three
minutes that you're meant to.
For some carers, theylike to try something new.

(03:35):
Have you wondered what it wouldbe like to play pickleball?
It's really up to you,what you want to do to try
to feel a little bit better.
[Music]
- A great step for carers is trying
to understand your grief a little better.
Dementia Australia's advisors like Kristen

(03:57):
can help with that.
The National Dementia Helplineis available 24 hours a day.
Every day of the year on 1800 100 500.
And if you're looking formore episodes to listen to,
you can find them onDementia Australia's website.
[Music]

(04:19):
[Music]