September 30, 2024 • 10 mins
In this episode, we dive deep into the power of failure and why it's essential for personal and professional growth. Our host shares personal anecdotes, including a painful experience of bombing on stage as an aspiring stand-up comedian, to illustrate how failures can lead to valuable lessons and future successes.
You'll learn why it's important to embrace failure, how to turn your own failures into stories of growth, and why sharing these stories can build community and trust. Discover the surprising benefits of failing fast and often, and how this mindset can lead to creativity, innovation, and ultimately, success.
Join us as we redefine failure and encourage you to share your own experiences in the comments. Let's celebrate our missteps and learn from them together.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
All right, I know I probably shouldn't say this, but I kind of hope you fail.
And not just a little, I hope you fail a lot and that you fail often.
Because I know that failure is where real growth happens.
Every single success that I've ever had, no matter how big it was,
no matter how small it was, it all came from failing first.
(00:22):
All the lessons that I learned and all the opportunities that I had the privilege
of being part of, they all started as some sort of a failure.
So today I'm going to share with you why I love failure and why I think you
should learn to love it too.
And I hope that by the end of this video, you're less afraid to try less afraid
of failure and that you can see failure in a new light because I'm a massive
(00:44):
failure and I'm still a success.
I have failed so many times. I'm failing at so many things right now,
and I hope that I have the opportunity to fail more in the future and to prove it to you.
I'll share with you one of the more painful failures that I had,
just so you know that I've really been through it and that I live to talk about it.
When I was in my 20s, the thing that I wanted more than anything else was to
(01:04):
become a stand-up comedian. It was my biggest dream.
I adored the comedians like Chris Rock and Bill Hicks and Richard Pryor.
So when I was old enough, I signed up for an amateur night and I drove myself
into the city and I got up on stage.
But the problem is I hadn't actually prepared anything. Somehow in my mind,
I believed that I had so much charm and so much charisma that it would just carry me through.
(01:26):
That everybody would love me instantly and that I'd probably be signed to a
deal and that my career would take off from that night.
But obviously that didn't happen. I failed.
I bombed spectacularly. I remember how flush my face was. It was burning.
I remember that I almost threw up on stage and I remember that not a single
person in the crowd laughed. Not even one time.
(01:48):
Basically that dream that I had, the thing I wanted more than anything else
died in a matter of just a few minutes that night.
But if I want to, I can still relive the negative part of that.
I can still remember the MC getting up on stage after me and saying something
like, give it up for bravery because well, my set wasn't funny or entertaining.
I guess it was brave. I tried something.
(02:08):
There was something to that. What I also remember is that as painful as it was,
I went home and I told every one of my friends and all of my family about it
in excruciating detail. I told them about the bright lights.
I told them how hot it was and how silent the room was.
And I told them that I cried on the way home and I don't normally cry.
And I definitely don't talk about it very often. But whenever I told that story.
(02:29):
Ended by saying that I knew something good was going to come from it.
I was proud that I had at least tried and I'd gone after my dreams and that
I knew somehow in some way I was going to learn a valuable lesson from that night.
And over time, the more I told the story, the less painful it became.
I can still go back to that moment if I want to, but most of the time when I'm
(02:50):
talking about it, it's just an anecdote.
I don't feel the same feelings I had then because when I tell the story now,
I'm telling it to share a lesson that I learned, the lessons about resilience and preparation.
Because ever since that night, I didn't want to feel that experience again.
So no matter what I'm doing, if I'm doing something new, I make sure that I'm actually ready for it.
Because I tell the story so often and because I identified what I learned from
(03:13):
it, it's changed who I am.
And it turned something that was an absolute failure, something that felt like
an ending into a beginning, something that made me who I am today. day.
And that's the trick that all of you should use every single day.
You're going to tell your stories, right? We're all going to tell stories about
good times and bad times.
So you might as well learn to enjoy them, to be honest about them and to recognize
(03:36):
that you're never alone.
Everybody, every single person has their own failures as well.
So you got to turn your stories, your failures into stories of growth.
For example, let's just say that you applied for a job and you didn't get it.
Yeah, that hurts, but it's okay.
Because if you had gotten that job, you wouldn't have been looking or available
(03:58):
for the better job that came along three months later.
You don't always know that in the moment, but if you keep telling the story,
if you keep searching for the meaning in the failure, eventually you recognize
how that failure led you to the place you ultimately needed to be.
Since you're going to be telling your stories anyway, just like I am,
you might as well have fun with them. Seriously, failures are funny.
(04:20):
Think about when you're sitting around with any of your friends.
The best stories, the best times that you have are likely when you're laughing
about something that went wrong.
Nobody really cares about the time you scored the goal or won the big game.
But if you tell your friends the stories about when you flopped,
when you basically threw up on stage or the embarrassing thing you did at work
or on a date, well, then they get excited. They start getting engaged.
(04:43):
They laugh with you, not at you.
And if they're like my friends, maybe my friends are different,
they probably jump in and try to one-up you. They say, well, you think that's bad?
Here's what I did. And they tell you that they've done even bigger failures
than you. Failures are familiar and universal. They bond us together. They're funny.
So don't ever shy away from talking about your failures. It's not something to be ashamed of.
(05:06):
It's part of who you are. It's part of what got you where you are today.
Just make sure when you're telling them that you identify how or what you're going to learn from it.
The funny thing about failure is that it also kind of rewires our brains.
It opens us up to a different way of thinking. And I think that's important.
If you want to be creative and more innovative, then you have to build up a tolerance to failure.
(05:28):
Because if you don't, you end up avoiding things that can make you fail.
You do things the safe way. You take the conventional path through things and
you never try new ideas or new approaches.
But real brilliance comes when you step outside of that comfort zone.
And most people are only willing to do that if they've experienced failure,
(05:49):
if they've learned to embrace it. That's where creativity and innovation come from.
When you go outside of your comfort zone, you have the opportunity to actually
differentiate yourself, to do something amazing, to achieve things that seemed
impossible to you and to all the people around you.
I think about it all the time because I come from the startup world.
And in the startup world, there's a mantra that people know,
(06:09):
you probably know it, it's fail fast.
Every startup tries to live by this. They are all trying to do something big,
impressive and new, so they have to fail fast.
They have to experiment and try new ideas and usually like 99.9% of the time
they fail, but they do it quickly and they learn from it. They learn what works and what doesn't work.
And their goal is not to just fail, but it's to ultimately find the thing that
(06:33):
works because that's where their business is. That's where real change happens.
Even though it's a startup idea, it's not just for startups.
It's an idea that you can apply to any area of life, even something as random as pottery.
Now you may have heard this story before. It's a famous story.
But there's a pottery teacher and they tried an experiment where they took their
class and they split them into two groups.
(06:54):
One group was told that they should just make as many pots as possible.
And the other group was told that they should try to make the perfect pot.
And the goal was that after a month, the teacher would review everything they
made and they would try to identify who had come closest to building a perfect pot.
The funny thing is when they looked at all of the pots, the best ones,
(07:15):
the ones that were closest to perfection were all from the group that focused
on quantity over quality.
And the reason for that is that group, the ones who weren't focused on perfection,
they just kept experimenting. They tried new things.
They learned from every mistake they made and they ultimately kept improving.
(07:35):
They got better with each and every attempt. But the second group,
they had this idea of perfection in their minds and they didn't want to do anything wrong.
So they overthought every step and they avoided taking risks.
They didn't want to ruin their one perfect pot. but ultimately it
limited how good they could get and so the
lesson there is kind of universal the more you do the
(07:56):
more you experiment the more you fail the better
you actually get at whatever it is you're trying to do so failing is part of
the journey it's an important part it's not limited to startups and pottery
it's anything whether you're learning a new skill or you're starting a project
or you're pursuing your dream if you embrace failure and you learn from it then
(08:16):
you're are actually on your way to succeeding.
Hopefully I'm convincing you that failure can be fun and that it's important
and you see the value in doing it.
So let's do something different together, something that might push you out
of your comfort zone. But as we talked about before, that's a good thing.
Usually in a video like this, someone like me would tell you that you should
start journaling and you should write down your most recent failure and maybe
(08:39):
try sharing it with a friend and see what happens, but we're different here. I'm different.
I think you're different too. So let's be different.
Let's use the comments under this video. And here's what I want you to do.
I want you to go to the comments and I want you to share a failure that you've had.
Something that you don't normally talk about. Talk about it in detail.
See how many other people have failed just like you and comment on them.
(09:00):
Treat them like you would your friends.
Try to one-up them. Talk to them about what's funny about their failure or what
they might be able to learn from it.
Even if it's scary, sharing failures builds community and trust. us.
And when you hear about other people's failures, it makes you realize that you're not alone.
And it gives you an opportunity, just like it gave them to actually learn what does and doesn't work.
(09:21):
You don't have to fail at everything to learn, but you do have to listen to
other people's stories and other failures because you'll know what not to do,
or you'll know how to do it a little bit better when you have the opportunity.
So go forward, enjoy your failure, share them, laugh at them.
Know that every failure you have is actually helping you get one step closer
(09:43):
to achieving something remarkable.
If you want to see how you can turn a failure into a fun story,
then watch this video about how I was so close to becoming a billionaire.
It's one of my biggest failures and I documented it because I think that it's
funny and because I know that in that story are lessons that led me to where I am today.
So go at it, go fail at something. And if you found this video valuable,
(10:07):
then share it with somebody else that needs to hear this message.
Or share it with someone that you want to fail, but that you want to fail for
the right reasons, not because you're being mean or vindictive.
All right, I know I probably shouldn't say this, but I kind of hope you fail.
And not just a little, I hope you fail a lot and that you fail often.
Because I know that failure is where real growth happens.
Every single success that I've ever had, no matter how big it was,
no matter how small it was, it all came from failing first.
(00:22):
All the lessons that I learned and all the opportunities that I had the privilege
of being part of, they all started as some sort of a failure.
So today I'm going to share with you why I love failure and why I think you
should learn to love it too.
And I hope that by the end of this video, you're less afraid to try less afraid
of failure and that you can see failure in a new light because I'm a massive
(00:44):
failure and I'm still a success.
I have failed so many times. I'm failing at so many things right now,
and I hope that I have the opportunity to fail more in the future and to prove it to you.
I'll share with you one of the more painful failures that I had,
just so you know that I've really been through it and that I live to talk about it.
When I was in my 20s, the thing that I wanted more than anything else was to
(01:04):
become a stand-up comedian. It was my biggest dream.
I adored the comedians like Chris Rock and Bill Hicks and Richard Pryor.
So when I was old enough, I signed up for an amateur night and I drove myself
into the city and I got up on stage.
But the problem is I hadn't actually prepared anything. Somehow in my mind,
I believed that I had so much charm and so much charisma that it would just carry me through.
(01:26):
That everybody would love me instantly and that I'd probably be signed to a
deal and that my career would take off from that night.
But obviously that didn't happen. I failed.
I bombed spectacularly. I remember how flush my face was. It was burning.
I remember that I almost threw up on stage and I remember that not a single
person in the crowd laughed. Not even one time.
(01:48):
Basically that dream that I had, the thing I wanted more than anything else
died in a matter of just a few minutes that night.
But if I want to, I can still relive the negative part of that.
I can still remember the MC getting up on stage after me and saying something
like, give it up for bravery because well, my set wasn't funny or entertaining.
I guess it was brave. I tried something.
(02:08):
There was something to that. What I also remember is that as painful as it was,
I went home and I told every one of my friends and all of my family about it
in excruciating detail. I told them about the bright lights.
I told them how hot it was and how silent the room was.
And I told them that I cried on the way home and I don't normally cry.
And I definitely don't talk about it very often. But whenever I told that story.
(02:29):
Ended by saying that I knew something good was going to come from it.
I was proud that I had at least tried and I'd gone after my dreams and that
I knew somehow in some way I was going to learn a valuable lesson from that night.
And over time, the more I told the story, the less painful it became.
I can still go back to that moment if I want to, but most of the time when I'm
(02:50):
talking about it, it's just an anecdote.
I don't feel the same feelings I had then because when I tell the story now,
I'm telling it to share a lesson that I learned, the lessons about resilience and preparation.
Because ever since that night, I didn't want to feel that experience again.
So no matter what I'm doing, if I'm doing something new, I make sure that I'm actually ready for it.
Because I tell the story so often and because I identified what I learned from
(03:13):
it, it's changed who I am.
And it turned something that was an absolute failure, something that felt like
an ending into a beginning, something that made me who I am today. day.
And that's the trick that all of you should use every single day.
You're going to tell your stories, right? We're all going to tell stories about
good times and bad times.
So you might as well learn to enjoy them, to be honest about them and to recognize
(03:36):
that you're never alone.
Everybody, every single person has their own failures as well.
So you got to turn your stories, your failures into stories of growth.
For example, let's just say that you applied for a job and you didn't get it.
Yeah, that hurts, but it's okay.
Because if you had gotten that job, you wouldn't have been looking or available
(03:58):
for the better job that came along three months later.
You don't always know that in the moment, but if you keep telling the story,
if you keep searching for the meaning in the failure, eventually you recognize
how that failure led you to the place you ultimately needed to be.
Since you're going to be telling your stories anyway, just like I am,
you might as well have fun with them. Seriously, failures are funny.
(04:20):
Think about when you're sitting around with any of your friends.
The best stories, the best times that you have are likely when you're laughing
about something that went wrong.
Nobody really cares about the time you scored the goal or won the big game.
But if you tell your friends the stories about when you flopped,
when you basically threw up on stage or the embarrassing thing you did at work
or on a date, well, then they get excited. They start getting engaged.
(04:43):
They laugh with you, not at you.
And if they're like my friends, maybe my friends are different,
they probably jump in and try to one-up you. They say, well, you think that's bad?
Here's what I did. And they tell you that they've done even bigger failures
than you. Failures are familiar and universal. They bond us together. They're funny.
So don't ever shy away from talking about your failures. It's not something to be ashamed of.
(05:06):
It's part of who you are. It's part of what got you where you are today.
Just make sure when you're telling them that you identify how or what you're going to learn from it.
The funny thing about failure is that it also kind of rewires our brains.
It opens us up to a different way of thinking. And I think that's important.
If you want to be creative and more innovative, then you have to build up a tolerance to failure.
(05:28):
Because if you don't, you end up avoiding things that can make you fail.
You do things the safe way. You take the conventional path through things and
you never try new ideas or new approaches.
But real brilliance comes when you step outside of that comfort zone.
And most people are only willing to do that if they've experienced failure,
(05:49):
if they've learned to embrace it. That's where creativity and innovation come from.
When you go outside of your comfort zone, you have the opportunity to actually
differentiate yourself, to do something amazing, to achieve things that seemed
impossible to you and to all the people around you.
I think about it all the time because I come from the startup world.
And in the startup world, there's a mantra that people know,
(06:09):
you probably know it, it's fail fast.
Every startup tries to live by this. They are all trying to do something big,
impressive and new, so they have to fail fast.
They have to experiment and try new ideas and usually like 99.9% of the time
they fail, but they do it quickly and they learn from it. They learn what works and what doesn't work.
And their goal is not to just fail, but it's to ultimately find the thing that
(06:33):
works because that's where their business is. That's where real change happens.
Even though it's a startup idea, it's not just for startups.
It's an idea that you can apply to any area of life, even something as random as pottery.
Now you may have heard this story before. It's a famous story.
But there's a pottery teacher and they tried an experiment where they took their
class and they split them into two groups.
(06:54):
One group was told that they should just make as many pots as possible.
And the other group was told that they should try to make the perfect pot.
And the goal was that after a month, the teacher would review everything they
made and they would try to identify who had come closest to building a perfect pot.
The funny thing is when they looked at all of the pots, the best ones,
(07:15):
the ones that were closest to perfection were all from the group that focused
on quantity over quality.
And the reason for that is that group, the ones who weren't focused on perfection,
they just kept experimenting. They tried new things.
They learned from every mistake they made and they ultimately kept improving.
(07:35):
They got better with each and every attempt. But the second group,
they had this idea of perfection in their minds and they didn't want to do anything wrong.
So they overthought every step and they avoided taking risks.
They didn't want to ruin their one perfect pot. but ultimately it
limited how good they could get and so the
lesson there is kind of universal the more you do the
(07:56):
more you experiment the more you fail the better
you actually get at whatever it is you're trying to do so failing is part of
the journey it's an important part it's not limited to startups and pottery
it's anything whether you're learning a new skill or you're starting a project
or you're pursuing your dream if you embrace failure and you learn from it then
(08:16):
you're are actually on your way to succeeding.
Hopefully I'm convincing you that failure can be fun and that it's important
and you see the value in doing it.
So let's do something different together, something that might push you out
of your comfort zone. But as we talked about before, that's a good thing.
Usually in a video like this, someone like me would tell you that you should
start journaling and you should write down your most recent failure and maybe
(08:39):
try sharing it with a friend and see what happens, but we're different here. I'm different.
I think you're different too. So let's be different.
Let's use the comments under this video. And here's what I want you to do.
I want you to go to the comments and I want you to share a failure that you've had.
Something that you don't normally talk about. Talk about it in detail.
See how many other people have failed just like you and comment on them.
(09:00):
Treat them like you would your friends.
Try to one-up them. Talk to them about what's funny about their failure or what
they might be able to learn from it.
Even if it's scary, sharing failures builds community and trust. us.
And when you hear about other people's failures, it makes you realize that you're not alone.
And it gives you an opportunity, just like it gave them to actually learn what does and doesn't work.
(09:21):
You don't have to fail at everything to learn, but you do have to listen to
other people's stories and other failures because you'll know what not to do,
or you'll know how to do it a little bit better when you have the opportunity.
So go forward, enjoy your failure, share them, laugh at them.
Know that every failure you have is actually helping you get one step closer
(09:43):
to achieving something remarkable.
If you want to see how you can turn a failure into a fun story,
then watch this video about how I was so close to becoming a billionaire.
It's one of my biggest failures and I documented it because I think that it's
funny and because I know that in that story are lessons that led me to where I am today.
So go at it, go fail at something. And if you found this video valuable,
(10:07):
then share it with somebody else that needs to hear this message.
Or share it with someone that you want to fail, but that you want to fail for
the right reasons, not because you're being mean or vindictive.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.