November 22, 2024 • 38 mins
Join us for a heartfelt conversation with Kristina Leos, a NICU nurse turned NICU mom, as she shares her powerful journey through postpartum depression following the birth of her daughter, Victoria. Kristina's unique perspective as both a healthcare professional and a parent highlights the emotional and psychological challenges faced by NICU families. She discusses the groundbreaking medication Zeranolone and her relentless quest for effective treatment, shedding light on the importance of mental health support. Kristina also emphasizes the need for greater awareness and understanding of postpartum depression, especially among NICU parents, and advocates for improved access to mental health care. This inspiring dialogue offers valuable insights for mothers navigating similar experiences and underscores the significance of community and support in the NICU journey.
Kristina Leos, a dedicated NICU nurse from Midlothian, Texas, shares her transformative journey through postpartum depression after the birth of her daughter, Victoria. This episode captures the poignant intersection of her professional and personal experiences, as Kristina navigates the emotional complexities of being both a caregiver and a patient in the NICU. She reflects on the unique challenges that come with leaving your newborn in the care of others, a reality she had previously witnessed from the other side of the incubator. Kristina's narrative is not only a personal account but also a broader commentary on the emotional toll that NICU experiences can take on families, emphasizing the need for greater awareness and understanding of the psychological impacts of such journeys.
As Kristina delves deeper into her mental health struggles, she recounts her relentless search for effective treatment, ultimately leading her to discover Zuranolone—a groundbreaking medication that significantly improved her condition. The episode highlights the importance of proactive mental health care, particularly for NICU mothers who often feel isolated and misunderstood. Kristina's story serves as a testament to the importance of seeking help and being open about mental health, encouraging other mothers facing similar battles to advocate for themselves and prioritize their well-being. Her candid discussion on the stigma surrounding postpartum depression invites listeners to engage in a broader dialogue about maternal mental health.
Moreover, Kristina’s insights into the advancements in NICU technology and the emotional bonds formed among NICU moms reflect her passion for supporting her peers. She advocates for systemic changes to enhance mental health resources for NICU parents, addressing the often-overlooked psychological needs of families in crisis. The episode concludes with a heartfelt message about the power of shared experiences and community support, reminding listeners that they are not alone in their struggles. Kristina's journey is a powerful reminder of the resilience of mothers and the importance of mental health care in the face of adversity.
Takeaways:
- Kristina's journey illustrates the dual challenge of being a NICU nurse and a NICU mom.
- Postpartum depression can impact any mother, regardless of previous mental health history or support.
- The introduction of Zuranolone represents a significant advancement in postpartum depression treatment options.
- Understanding the emotional toll of NICU experiences is vital for both families and healthcare providers.
- Mental health resources are crucial for NICU parents, yet access remains a significant barrier.
- Advocating for maternal mental health can lead to better support systems within healthcare settings.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Hi. How are you?
I'm great. I would love foryou to go ahead and just introduce
yourself and give us a littlebit of your backstory, if you don't
mind.
Sure. So my name is MonicaOlano. I recently founded Callie
(00:24):
Sobermandae accidentally, buthow I not hear. It's a long, convoluted
story. But really, what pushedme over the edge of everything to
get me here is I had threekids in 18 months. It was a whirlwind.
So my first daughter, oursingleton, as they call them, was
(00:46):
born November 2020. And thenwhen she was nine months, we got
pregnant with our twin, andshe was all at 18 months old when
they were born. Uncomplicatedpregnancy, which I know a lot of
people in the twin world havea lot more complications with the
pregnancy itself. But I was 38weeks on the dot. I was considered
(01:09):
geriatric, so I was 36. Oh, mygosh. Yeah. My babies were both almost
seven pounds at birth. It wasridiculous. But then you have some
that, like, you start havingtrouble at 32 or you just have trouble
early. And so I don't want todiscount what those women went through.
When I complain about, here Iam complaining about making it to
(01:32):
30 weeks, but that's a wholenother story. But I was supposed
to be induced on Monday, andmy water broke because they couldn't
take them any earlier than 38weeks. I wouldn't beg my doctor,
but. So Monday would be myinduction date. My water broke on
Saturday night, so two daysbefore, and my daughter was like
(01:55):
a day and a half for birth.And so when my water broke, I was
like, oh, they say you have alittle bit of time. And I'd been
swimming or attempting toswim. I was a meth. I was dirty,
and I was a meth. And so Ithought I had time to do a full woman
shower, wash thick hair, blowdryer. Oh, my God. It was the worst.
(02:16):
That was dumb. So I got to thehospital an hour after my water broke,
and I was already at a five ora six when they checked me. I was
just screaming in pain. Sothey got me into delivery room right
away, resting in a seizurethere to give me an epidural, blah,
blah, blah. And they were justwaiting to get the team together.
Cause it was all. They'relike, we did not see this coming,
especially this quickly. And Ithink I was at ten by 10:30 p.m.
(02:41):
and they were like, if youfeel like you have to push, but if
you can, just wait, becausenot everybody was there, that's the
worst part, I see your faceand I'm like, this is the easy part.
Full disappointment. I gavebirth to twins in a different, but
maybe equally as totallycomplex and layered way that you
(03:03):
did, but very different. So Iam, like, with you just on every.
I'm hanging on your everywhere.
Yeah. I didn't think literallymy daughter, I just sat at a one
forever. So I didn't evenknow, like, this could happen so
quickly. And so right abouteleven ish, I think they got us.
I don't know. We go to theoperating room, which is where all
(03:25):
twin are. Birth, operatingroom. But they didn't move me to
the operating bed because theythought it was just going to be,
like, easy. And my son cameout in one push. It was literally
like the easiest thing ever.And what I then learned later is
the head anesthesiologist leftbecause he thought everything was
(03:48):
going so fine. And the planwas, my daughter was breached. They're
like, yeah, we just grab herarm, we pull her down, fine. It didn't
go fine. Everything was a hotmess. The nurses that were there
were new to that hospital, sothey didn't know how to monitor the
machines. They were having ahard time keeping my daughter on
the hot heart monitor. She wasunmonitored for five minutes. They
(04:12):
finally got her on the heartrate. She was like, in the forties.
My doctors, we have to getthis baby now. So they're trying
to list me to move me onto theoperating bed. They're kicking my
husband out. I'm throwing upeverywhere, and she starts cutting.
I scream, and you feel that?And all of a sudden, because you're
laying on the bed, he startstalking to. Now I know the resident
(04:36):
anesthesiologist, they'retalking over me. They gave me the
wrong medicine. Like, themedicine he gave me was like, if
you were gonna have a csection, like in 1530 minutes, and
so it wouldn't kick in. Andthe last thing I remember is the
other doctor yelling. Mydoctor was yelling, I have to get
this baby. And just startscutting. The other doctor's yelling,
(04:59):
put her under now. And I justsee the anesthesia mask coming over
my face. And then I woke up. Idon't know when. Yeah, it was. Don't
remember waking up. The firstpictures of me. They have pictures
of me with my kids back in therecovery room. Apparently they put
both my twins on me. No memoryof it. The only memory I have of
(05:24):
after is telling my husbandthat I needed the crazy eyebrow nurse
away from me. And I laugh nowbecause I'm healing. But it was just
such a tragic. And then we hadissues with our daughter, the one
that had the complicatedbirth, and so we had to start pulling
our own medical records, whichis how we found out so many things.
(05:46):
And then how I got to Calisober mom and somehow involved in
cannabis out of all of this ismy only way I knew how to cope, was
to drink alcohol. I didn'trealize how long I'd been using that
as a coping mechanism. So whenyou send a woman home after this
super traumatic delivery, noteven telling her nine tenths of what
(06:08):
happens, you send her homewith all this trauma, with two babies
and an 18 month old at home,and then say, cn seeks for your checkup,
it wasn't good. And then mydaughter had issues, and I just kept
going to alcohol to try tonumb it at four or 05:00 p.m. and
it was just a disaster. It'snot a good recipe for success. And
(06:31):
I had to make some choices.And getting off alcohol, I found
some of the medicinal benefitsof cannabis using, like having a
two and a half milligram drinkor a very small gummy at four or
five. And I just grown so muchfrom doing that and including therapy
and so many different things.And I started Cali sober mom because
(06:55):
I wanted their women to feelempowered to ask questions, to say,
hey, this isn't right. To say,hey, alcohol doesn't actually help
mommy wine culture. Andthere's just so much. And I think
we feel not empoweredsometimes to say things out loud,
but I feel like the more weall start sharing our stories and
(07:17):
sharing what happened andsharing the lack of acknowledgement
we got, the lack of education,the lack of support. Because every
time I share, somebody reachesout and says, oh, my gosh, I had
a similar story, but they allfeel like you can't talk about it
or that the world doesn't wantto hear it. So I'm just using my
(07:39):
voice and my platform to belike, I'll share how ridiculous my
life is, all the mistakes Imade, so other women can feel more
comfortable to start sharing.
Incredible. That's so brave.Because you're sharing this. It's
like a sort of twofold thing.Like you said, you're sharing, like,
(08:00):
mistakes you made or ways inwhich you weren't healthy, but you're
now you're also sharing, like,ways that have helped you feel better
and that. So you're spreading.This is not. I shouldn't use this
(08:21):
phrase, but I'm going to.You're spreading the gospel in that
way. So it requiresvulnerability as well as a lot of
knowledge, I bet.
Yeah, it does. It does takeknowledge. But I will be the first
one to tell everybody. Thereis no way any of us can all be experts
(08:43):
on something, right? And I'mnever going to be the expert on anything.
But one thing I am really goodat is like, I almost feel like a
conduit. Like, I can find thatexpert over here and I can bring
them in where you might nothave thought they would come talk
to a group of women like acannabis expert. Why are they talking
to a group of moms? Maybe. ButI'm really good at finding those
(09:06):
pieces that can all cometogether, and that's what I want
to do. I will never retainknowledge if that makes sense. If
I'm not, I can learn anything,but if I'm not using it right at
that moment, my brain's like,boom, see ya. Probably not a shocker.
I got diagnosed with ADHD andall this healing, but yeah, that's
(09:28):
what it does. Take knowledge,but I don't want anyone to ever think
I'm gonna have all theknowledge because I'm not. But I
want to help women feel strongenough to know where to find it.
Or gosh forbid, when youGoogle, I hate the Internet is the
worst because who has enoughmoney to pay SEO or payrol? So even
(09:49):
Google you can't trust. Andthen you find out some of these studies
that have come out, like,saying, so much wine is good for
you. When you find out thatthey've been paid for by the alcohol
company. For these people tosay this, I'm like, I don't even
know what to trust anymore. Sosorry, I took that. Totally left
(10:12):
I squirreled. Yes, I want tohelp acquire that knowledge. And
part of being so vulnerable inhaving to admit these things and
maybe make an embarrassment ofmyself is if I'm not real, then I'm
just as bad as whatever yougoogle, right? I could just be a
paid off pawn. So I'm tryingto be as authentic and as vulnerable
as I can to help get thatinformation out there.
(10:37):
Yes. And so that makes sense.You're actually a representative
of your sort of client, ofwho? Your sort of client would be
a woman seeking those answersand seeking that information. And
(10:58):
so that's who you'reempowering. You're not saying I know
everything. Listen to me.You're saying, you guys, this is
awful. Like, we've probably,most of us all had an awful time
(11:19):
with this, and these arepeople and these are resources. And
these are questions we shouldbe asking.
Exactly that. That is the.Let's just put the awful out there.
Let's own it so we can findreal fic, authentic and not just
(11:43):
what is spending the mostamount of money to get us to buy
into something super powerfulfor the place I am all over. Gee.
And you should feel totallyempowered to be all over the place,
(12:03):
right?
Yes. For the very first personwe told the sex of our daughter to.
And I probably, okay, it was agirl. We said it was a girl. And
I probably made a face justbecause in full transparency, I always
thought I wanted boys. Butthat's because I was never a super
girly girl. And I was afraid.God, what if she wants to know how
(12:24):
to do makeup and do hair andmanage her emotions and this and
that? I just don't know how todo it. Which is a whole other story.
But the first person, we sawmy face and he said, it's okay, monica.
Women can do almost anythingnow. And I think back on that, I'm
like, yeah, we can. Why do wekeep ourselves small? And I think
(12:48):
a lot of. I realized I wasusing alcohol to stay small, to stay
in my lane, to stay numbed.Because my personality is, once you
start seeing it, I want tocall it out and I want to point it
out, and I want to fix it, andI want to do that. Yeah, we're just
running with it. We're justgoing for it.
But, yeah.
Having twins would lead to all that.
(13:11):
Yeah. I mean, it totallyexplodes your lives, I've heard.
Oh, my gosh. There's 17months. So.
Are they your okay?
My only kid.
Your only kids? Yeah. So whenthey hit, everything's new times
(13:34):
two now for you too. Yeah, allat once. But then double whammy.
Yes, exactly. Yeah. I did. Idon't have a 18 month old or no nine
month old.
She was 18 months when theywere born. She's 18 months older
than them. So, yeah, we atleast have a benchmark to reference
(13:57):
it to know, like, when it's anawful time. Oh, this is this stage.
It's gonna be awful until thisnext stage where y'all might be pulling
your hair out going, oh, myGod, I have the worst kid ever. This
kid's never gonna stop doingthis. Blah, blah, blah.
Yeah. If every time, and thechanges happen so quickly, like,
(14:18):
every time I feel like I havesome kind of, like, grasp. Every
time I feel like I have somekind of grasp on what's going on.
We've, like, morphed intoanother state. And the thing I'm
dealing with right now is,like, boundary discipline in any
(14:39):
kind of way. Like, makingboundaries and rules, especially
with my son. I have a son anddaughter. Veterinarian, twin. Yeah.
And my son came out first.Make it. Yeah. So I have no idea
how to, like, it's hard for meto be like, no, this isn't the rule.
(15:04):
Listen to me. I have no ideahow to do that in, like, an effective
way, but I have to, otherwiseit's going to be chaos, and that
won't help him at all.
It's so hard. I will say, Idon't even know. Everyone's kid's
(15:26):
going to be different. Right.My husband's more of a, like, far
no. And I'm like, let'sexplain. It drives my husband crazy,
but I'm like, we can still seta boundary and explain. But, yeah,
it's, they're at that agewhere they're just hesting what they
can do and what they can't doand learning, and it's hard. It really.
And each kid's going to be alittle bit different. That's the
(15:49):
most crazy and weird part ofit. Everyone says that, and I'm always
like, yeah, whatever. But it'strue. It really is. And just roll
with what you get each day.Tomorrow's another day. Cause that's
what I do. I have a new motto,actually, that.
It'S.
(16:10):
We'Re all gonna f our kids insome way. Not intentionally, but
there's gonna be somethingthat we did that they're like, it's
gonna get to them. So I'm justlike, I do my best, and I want. I'm
going with, I'm like, I'mgonna mess him up somehow. What can
you do?
Yeah. And that takes a certainamount of being at peace with yourself,
(16:34):
like, with your own demons orpast trauma or how you were raised
or whatever. It. Because if,if you're still, like, in contention
with what happened to me, thenit's. I think it's harder to be confident
(17:01):
as a parent, if that makes sense.
That's very insightful. I hadnever thought of it that way, because
here I am, like, oh, I gave upalcohol, I did cannabis, I did therapy.
Like, I'm becoming a bettermother, thinking I'm more patient,
which I am, and I don't getagitated as easily, but I never thought
(17:22):
to think that's because I'm socontent in me that I know what I'm
doing for my kids is the bestI can do and not just because I'm
surviving, it's because I'velearned this and I've healed from
this, and I've read aboutthis, and I'm not worried, like,
what my mother in law or myaunt or someone comes over and I
(17:42):
know they have some judgmenton things we do with our kids, but
that doesn't bother meanymore. Cause I'm confident in me,
like you said, I'm confidentin what I'm doing. So thank you.
I had never. That was a veryinsightful take on it.
Yeah. Yeah.
If you're parenting to haveyour kid behave so you don't feel
(18:04):
judgment from others, oryou're like, I don't know. I feel
like so much of it, I want mykid to behave this way at this time
in front of this person. Younever wanna be that one they're talking
about. But if you are contentwith you and your family and your
parenting, that anxiety eases away.
I say, yeah, yeah, totally.
(18:26):
Coming up with new parentingtechniques today.
And now they're.
So.
It's interesting what you saidabout women and asking questions
and being more like, whatabout this? Hey, just outspoken.
(18:50):
Do you feel like. I guess Ihave felt like, when I think of cannabis,
I don't think of women. Andhave you experienced that, like,
bias?
Yes and no. I will say thesame thing. I think that there was
(19:14):
always this, like, counterculture cannabis use image, right.
If you think of a woman usingcannabis, there's probably a very
certain demeanor, image,social class, all of that comes to
mind. So even though thesebeverages and edibles are legal,
(19:34):
they're still held againstyou, against, like, medical license
and insurance and all thosetype of things. And that's when I
was like, that's really athing. And I read more. It can be
used against you in courtcases with your kids, even though
it's federally legal oremployment. And I'm like, wow. There
are stigmas in the sense ofcontrol that are still out there.
(19:59):
The amount of control that canbe used with this is insane. Even
though it's federally legal,right. And we're projected to have
this dictmob, what it lookslike. And I live in a very conservative
neighborhood. I don't know theright way. Steve Scalise goes to
my church, where he's one ofthe Republican Congress leaders,
(20:23):
one of the Supreme Courtjustices, Amy Conant Barretta. She
graduated from this churchthat we go to, where my kids go to
school. Her dad's still adeacon. They are. So just to give
you an idea of thecircumstance that I surround myself
in. And here I am starting abusiness, basically destigmatizing
(20:47):
we, right? And so I was reallynervous the moms were gonna be. Cause
I'm not from here. My husbandwas born and raised in this, but
I'm not. So I'm already anoutsider. And I was like, man, they're
really gonna shun me now. Anda few people started asking me, and
finally I just said it. I waslike, this is what I do. And the
first one I said it to was atthe pre k three playdate. She's holding
(21:10):
her Harvard coffee mug, andI'm just like, I'm normalizing weed.
And she leans in, she goes, Itake a gummy before I take my kids
to the park. And every momthat has had the conversation with
me or now moms will come upand ask me very slyly, so this neat
(21:31):
neighborhood that you thinkwould be the most judgmental, all
these women are doing it, justnobody wants to talk about it out
loud. So I'm like, where isthe actual stigma? Because here I
thought people were going tostigmatize me because they think
I'm a bad mother or I'm justout smoking joints all day, and I'm
(21:51):
like, oh, my gosh, no. Peopleare doing this. There's just this
unsaid, entrenched system thatdoesn't let us talk about it out
loud. And that's really whatI'm like, oh, this is what we need
to keep pushing. It's not evenso much this stigma now that I want
to break. I'm wondering ifthis stigma was something that got
(22:13):
preached to us to avoid usfrom talking about it. So that's
what I'm trying to figure outright now. So, yes, a little bit
of stigma, but it's more fromthe older generation that grew up
during the reefer madnessphase than it is from mainly anybody
else.
(22:34):
Will you explain? Just in caseanyone doesn't know what the reefer
madness reference is, thereefer madness.
And I'm not going to quotethis perfectly, but it was, I think
the original movie came outin, like, the 1930s. But for those
that don't know, cannabis wasactually highly used. Back in the
(22:58):
early 19 hundreds pharmacistsused it. It was used medicinally.
This was a common drug formedicinal value. And then in, like,
Texas, when the mexicanimmigrants started coming over, they
brought flour and paper andwould smoke it. And that was a way
(23:18):
for. I hate to say the word,but racist, you can say no word.
It was founded in racism, thekind of negative connotation around
it. And then if you really dothe studies, then when alcohol was
made legal, kister, I think,or whoever was in charge of alcohol
prohibition, shifted all ofhis efforts then to cannabis prohibition,
(23:41):
because if he wouldn't haveprohibited something, then he would
have been out of a job. And sothere's that whole political aspect
of it. But then in that whole1930s, forties, fifties, the reefer
madness came out, which wasreally. They went town to town. This
is before Internet and beforethat. And preachers are some of our
(24:02):
best sales people, and theysold the thing that cannabis was
going to make our young kid goMadden and go to jazz clubs, and
our white women would sleepwith black men. That's what was gonna
happen if our kids usedcannabis, and that's what was sold
(24:25):
to that age group and how itbecame so much of counterculture.
So when you really look backthrough the history, it's really
fad to see how all thesenegative. And there's more. Those
are just the few to get youback to the reefer madness. But I
think the original movie cameout in the 1930s, and then there
was a remake. There's been acouple remakes, so it's definitely
(24:47):
worth checking out if youreally want to see. I use the word
indoctrinated, and mygrandfather lost his mind that I
called him indoctrinated, andI did not mean it in a mean way.
But you just don't know whatyou don't know.
Oh, yeah.
They were exposed to, andthat's what they were taught. They
know any different. But Ithink we're. Some generations are
(25:09):
just so locked into that. Butthe younger ones from, like, Gen
X, millennials, Gen Z, I thinkwe're all like, yeah, we know that
bullsh. There's still thisstigma or there's still power over
our jobs or power over ourkids. And that's really where I think
(25:30):
that there's still just somework to be done.
Yeah, it almost makes me thinkof. It makes me think of, I don't
know, like, homosexuality in,like, the eighties, nineties. I don't
(25:51):
know the correct exacttimeframe I'm thinking about. But
when it was like, if theyfound out you were gay at work.
That that was don't ask, don'ttell. The military control it. They
couldn't ban it, or theywouldn't have enough people.
(26:14):
So they went, don't, don'ttell. Shoot. The. That was literally
saying just going south.
Yeah. Right now, a don't ask,don't tell situation. They just,
let's all be quiet about it.Like, we're gonna do it, but we're
gonna be quiet about it. Andthe only way we're gonna drug test
(26:37):
is if you get hurt on the job,and then we can ban paying you because
now you've broken ourinsurance policies. It's. So meanwhile,
all the lobbying is happeningbehind the scenes right now to legalize
(27:01):
and deschedule or reschedulethe amount of money that's happening
behind the scenes now. Whywe're all focused on the election.
This is what all the meetingsare about. You're going to see a
ton of change in hemp andcannabis policy coming out, and it's
to keep the folks that have alot of money and have a lot of power
(27:23):
over the entrenched system aregoing to start buying out these companies,
but they're getting all theirducks in a row first. But how can
we, if we're still afraid toeven say we use it, how can we go
fight for it? How can we gofight for another industry being
taken over by consumerism,hurting your health for profit? So
(27:47):
it seems so weird, like, whenI say I go deep on things, like,
I really go deep on it, andthat's like, ultimately what I want
to get to and focus on and dobefore it's all taken over. But we
have to start with the babystep of even having people feel comfortable
to say I take a gummy before Itake my kid to the park. If we can't
(28:08):
say that, there's no wayanyone's going to be able to go to
Congress and battle for this,but it really should be a huge political
topic right now.
Yes and yes.
Sorry I pulled out this.
Wait, do you know how? Are youkidding? This is what I live for.
This is what I live for isgoing deep. It is a huge topic, are
(28:38):
a huge issue, and I have heardabout it, but I'm just now putting
it together. I've definitelyheard of it being a huge area for
(29:01):
people of color, for makingbusinesses and creating jobs, and
just. That's great. That's athing to be celebrated. And, yeah,
that would certainly bedestroyed if corporations took over.
(29:23):
They are seeing that in somestates, there's so many social equity
licenses that are awarded, butthen it's a financially impossible
to operate with a socialequity license. So they take on partners,
and then the partnerseventually take it out or buy them
out, or they win the licenseand then they sell them. Like, these
(29:44):
licenses that you can win areworth so much money, and it's a whole
we could do a whole, like,deep dive for 3 hours on the corruption
that's happening in thisindustry right now. It's really sad.
Really sadhesthe. I know.
This is the knowledge, though.
This.
The knowledge that is good,that we need. That we all need.
(30:10):
Yeah. And then it's finding away to get it out there. I always
thought I was so naive that ifsomeone had something intelligent
that would change the world ormake a huge impact as soon as they
said it, we would listen. Ijust thought people weren't talking.
Maybe. I don't know. It is sohard to be heard. It's so hard to
(30:30):
be heard. We're being trainedto have attention spans like this
to get your message out there.And we're so taught in consumerism
that we buy into things thatwe physically, like we. That we buy
into. So if you're not sellingsomething, people don't stay attached
to it. They don't feel like ifthey'd given. I don't know. It's
(30:53):
just really difficult to beheard, and it's just. It's made it
really interesting, just more interesting.
This is so interesting. Like,in so many ways. In so many ways.
Our conversation was notsurprising, but in our first episode,
(31:16):
I spoke with Bianca Sprague.She owned a Doula training company,
and she. We talked so muchabout being heard and, like, about
all of this data and all thisknowledge that she had about, like,
(31:37):
equity within the home and.But somehow we're not talking about
it or we're not able to bandtogether quite completely because
I don't.
(31:57):
It's so true, though, becausewe've all been disenfranchised and
hurt in different ways. Right?Like, mine just happened to be that
this was the impetus thatfinally made me start peeling the
onion back of all, what was Idrinking for before this incident?
So then I did uncover theADHD, and now that I look back, I'm
(32:19):
like, oh, my God, every signwas there. Right? But that's a whole
nother story. But so, like,for me, I'm like, this needs to be
heard. This needs to be. Andso with her, she might have had an
experience. So we're all, youknow, in these, like, areas that
we really want to see helpfor. How do you get hurt? Niche down.
Talk to the algorithm. Yousuck. And be little echo chambers,
(32:43):
which you're doing so good in.Anyone that's also passionate about
that? So we get these, like,great echo chambers everywhere, but
we're not connect y. And that,again, is the entrenched systems
that have been passed down tous is we don't feel comfortable necessarily
talking our small family unitsyet for fear of judgment or in our
(33:04):
communities. But then we findour own communities online, which
builds us into echo chambers.So how do we start connecting those
echo chambers? How do werealize that we're all part of this
small, not this small. We'reall part of the big Ben diagram,
where, when you look at it,she's fighting for this part of humans.
(33:24):
I'm fighting for this part ofhumans. There's all the work being
done behind the processedfoods. Right. There's so many strong
leaders in this, but we're allfighting different fights, and that's
like playing chess versus checkers.
Yeah.
In my theory right now, I saytrillions of dollars are about to
(33:45):
be passed hands. So let's alljoin behind the hemp and cannabis
fight, get that cleared upbefore all this money changes hands,
and then systematically movethrough the problems. But how do
you start combining everybody?You have to be heard. And if you
leave your algorithm, if youleave your niche, if you leave your
(34:06):
echo chamber, they don't knowhow to categorize you anymore, and
your views stop. And it'sjust. It's so hard to be heard, and
it's designed that way. First,we were designed with guilt in our
own communities, and then wefinally get the encouragement to
go speak about it vocallyonline, which is the most public
(34:28):
place of all. And they have usin little categories, and there's
so much out there to fightfor. Where do you start?
This is why I, like, I fell inlove with the Internet. I don't know,
whenever there was not quiteten years ago, but at some point,
(34:50):
like, when I felt like it wasstill. I still love the Internet.
Come on.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's like everything. It'scapable of everything. It's just.
Which is good and bad.
Cs. Exactly.
I remember. So I'm earlyInternet. I'm 38, for reference.
(35:14):
But I graduated high school2004, and so I went to Florida State
in that fall of 2004 is whenFacebook was just launching. And
so being an educate a largereducational institution, Florida
state was one of the firstones to get it. So I am like, I have
(35:35):
had my facebook for almost 20years. It will be 20 years this fall.
I get chills because I didn'trealize at the time what an early
adapter. But anyway, I comehome from college, I'm from Iowa,
I went to Florida State, Icome home, and I'm constantly on
our computer showing my. Iwent, dad, this is Facebook. I'm
(35:56):
talking to this person. I'mfriends with this person. My dad
for ten years seriouslythought I was sitting in my dorm
room talking to fake Internetfresh. It's like, early Internet.
I am. So I'm seeing, like, theconnection, the bad, the good. It's
everything. So my dad laterbought stock in the original, like,
(36:17):
IPO. I was laughing so hard. Iwas like, yeah, yeah. Talking Internet
street.
Yeah. Oh, my gosh.
But, yeah, there's so muchthat can be done. How do we get there?
That's the problem, is I'm soproud of all the women that are standing
up now and speaking out. Ithink there's a lot of strong women
(36:40):
that laid that foundation forus, and I think we're getting the
ability, and a lot of us arenow being. So it's just a matter
of. Okay, now, how do we bandtogether? We've learned that we can
be this vocal. Our next stepis how do we show our daughters how
we band together and fightthings collectively instead of individually.
(37:04):
I think that'll be the nextstep for us to get some things accomplished.
That sounds amazing to me. Ithink you're right, because I just
read and I don't, we've goneover time, but I just read yesterday
(37:24):
that Michelle Obama said thatshe went through IVF or some fertility
treatments to have herdaughters. And it was the first time
I ever.
Yeah. I never knew that untilright this moment.
Yeah. And so those are hugethings because her saying that gives,
(37:50):
like, all of us permission ina way, and takes some of the, like,
embarrassment or shame orwhatever, that shouldn't be there
away. But we do have to takeaction upon that, because isn't it
(38:17):
crazy that.
We'Re still talking abouthaving to have shame for infertility?
Because my babies are all forinfertility. Babies. That's a whole
nother day in story. We'restill talking about, how do we openly
say that and talk about itwhen the real discussion should be
like, why are we all infertilenow? Why is now having a baby so
(38:40):
profitable for institutions?Let's go back in the layers. It just
sad to me that we still feelguilty saying these things out loud,
that we can't even get to thereal discussions.
Merhaddel wow. Because ifwe're not saying it, that.
(39:05):
It'S not a problem.
Yeah. We're help. We'rehelping the bad guys.
Yeah. Our foods, environment,the plastics, the things we're exposed
to.
Lotion.
And I don't mean I'll saythings sometimes when I've been.
(39:25):
Someone close to my familycalled me a communist when I said
all this. They're like, oh,you just go enjoy your comrade life.
And I'm like, and that's theproblem, is you get attacked. Right?
And I didn't say it was anticapitalism, but if we're actively
harming humanity for profit,for who? That should be the discussion
(39:46):
more than me having to say outloud that I have fertility babies.
Like, why do I need to make.That's just the whole thing. It's,
let's get to the entrenchedsystems and processes that are making
this happen. Not still tryingto break down the barriers to even
(40:08):
talk about it.
Let's take the focus maybe offof us a little bit. Yeah.
We're all just trying tosurvive. That's all we're doing.
(40:29):
We didn't do anything wrong.We were just trying to survive in
the system we were given.
We don't have a master plan.Thank you so much for telling your
story and for everything youdo. I think that we should keep talking
(40:52):
in the eyes. I love the way.Yeah. Because this is obviously something
very current and happening inreal time.
Yeah. I appreciate you havingme. Any opportunity I get to share
(41:14):
and really bring up the biggerpoints is so appreciated. So thank
you for letting. I didn't meanfor it to go there, but I love that
where conversation wentbecause I think these are the things
that will help gain moretraction and people feeling comfortable
discussing things.
Absolutely. Thank you. Yes.Talk soon. Bye.
Hi. How are you?
I'm great. I would love foryou to go ahead and just introduce
yourself and give us a littlebit of your backstory, if you don't
mind.
Sure. So my name is MonicaOlano. I recently founded Callie
(00:24):
Sobermandae accidentally, buthow I not hear. It's a long, convoluted
story. But really, what pushedme over the edge of everything to
get me here is I had threekids in 18 months. It was a whirlwind.
So my first daughter, oursingleton, as they call them, was
(00:46):
born November 2020. And thenwhen she was nine months, we got
pregnant with our twin, andshe was all at 18 months old when
they were born. Uncomplicatedpregnancy, which I know a lot of
people in the twin world havea lot more complications with the
pregnancy itself. But I was 38weeks on the dot. I was considered
(01:09):
geriatric, so I was 36. Oh, mygosh. Yeah. My babies were both almost
seven pounds at birth. It wasridiculous. But then you have some
that, like, you start havingtrouble at 32 or you just have trouble
early. And so I don't want todiscount what those women went through.
When I complain about, here Iam complaining about making it to
(01:32):
30 weeks, but that's a wholenother story. But I was supposed
to be induced on Monday, andmy water broke because they couldn't
take them any earlier than 38weeks. I wouldn't beg my doctor,
but. So Monday would be myinduction date. My water broke on
Saturday night, so two daysbefore, and my daughter was like
(01:55):
a day and a half for birth.And so when my water broke, I was
like, oh, they say you have alittle bit of time. And I'd been
swimming or attempting toswim. I was a meth. I was dirty,
and I was a meth. And so Ithought I had time to do a full woman
shower, wash thick hair, blowdryer. Oh, my God. It was the worst.
(02:16):
That was dumb. So I got to thehospital an hour after my water broke,
and I was already at a five ora six when they checked me. I was
just screaming in pain. Sothey got me into delivery room right
away, resting in a seizurethere to give me an epidural, blah,
blah, blah. And they were justwaiting to get the team together.
Cause it was all. They'relike, we did not see this coming,
especially this quickly. And Ithink I was at ten by 10:30 p.m.
(02:41):
and they were like, if youfeel like you have to push, but if
you can, just wait, becausenot everybody was there, that's the
worst part, I see your faceand I'm like, this is the easy part.
Full disappointment. I gavebirth to twins in a different, but
maybe equally as totallycomplex and layered way that you
(03:03):
did, but very different. So Iam, like, with you just on every.
I'm hanging on your everywhere.
Yeah. I didn't think literallymy daughter, I just sat at a one
forever. So I didn't evenknow, like, this could happen so
quickly. And so right abouteleven ish, I think they got us.
I don't know. We go to theoperating room, which is where all
(03:25):
twin are. Birth, operatingroom. But they didn't move me to
the operating bed because theythought it was just going to be,
like, easy. And my son cameout in one push. It was literally
like the easiest thing ever.And what I then learned later is
the head anesthesiologist leftbecause he thought everything was
(03:48):
going so fine. And the planwas, my daughter was breached. They're
like, yeah, we just grab herarm, we pull her down, fine. It didn't
go fine. Everything was a hotmess. The nurses that were there
were new to that hospital, sothey didn't know how to monitor the
machines. They were having ahard time keeping my daughter on
the hot heart monitor. She wasunmonitored for five minutes. They
(04:12):
finally got her on the heartrate. She was like, in the forties.
My doctors, we have to getthis baby now. So they're trying
to list me to move me onto theoperating bed. They're kicking my
husband out. I'm throwing upeverywhere, and she starts cutting.
I scream, and you feel that?And all of a sudden, because you're
laying on the bed, he startstalking to. Now I know the resident
(04:36):
anesthesiologist, they'retalking over me. They gave me the
wrong medicine. Like, themedicine he gave me was like, if
you were gonna have a csection, like in 1530 minutes, and
so it wouldn't kick in. Andthe last thing I remember is the
other doctor yelling. Mydoctor was yelling, I have to get
this baby. And just startscutting. The other doctor's yelling,
(04:59):
put her under now. And I justsee the anesthesia mask coming over
my face. And then I woke up. Idon't know when. Yeah, it was. Don't
remember waking up. The firstpictures of me. They have pictures
of me with my kids back in therecovery room. Apparently they put
both my twins on me. No memoryof it. The only memory I have of
(05:24):
after is telling my husbandthat I needed the crazy eyebrow nurse
away from me. And I laugh nowbecause I'm healing. But it was just
such a tragic. And then we hadissues with our daughter, the one
that had the complicatedbirth, and so we had to start pulling
our own medical records, whichis how we found out so many things.
(05:46):
And then how I got to Calisober mom and somehow involved in
cannabis out of all of this ismy only way I knew how to cope, was
to drink alcohol. I didn'trealize how long I'd been using that
as a coping mechanism. So whenyou send a woman home after this
super traumatic delivery, noteven telling her nine tenths of what
(06:08):
happens, you send her homewith all this trauma, with two babies
and an 18 month old at home,and then say, cn seeks for your checkup,
it wasn't good. And then mydaughter had issues, and I just kept
going to alcohol to try tonumb it at four or 05:00 p.m. and
it was just a disaster. It'snot a good recipe for success. And
(06:31):
I had to make some choices.And getting off alcohol, I found
some of the medicinal benefitsof cannabis using, like having a
two and a half milligram drinkor a very small gummy at four or
five. And I just grown so muchfrom doing that and including therapy
and so many different things.And I started Cali sober mom because
(06:55):
I wanted their women to feelempowered to ask questions, to say,
hey, this isn't right. To say,hey, alcohol doesn't actually help
mommy wine culture. Andthere's just so much. And I think
we feel not empoweredsometimes to say things out loud,
but I feel like the more weall start sharing our stories and
(07:17):
sharing what happened andsharing the lack of acknowledgement
we got, the lack of education,the lack of support. Because every
time I share, somebody reachesout and says, oh, my gosh, I had
a similar story, but they allfeel like you can't talk about it
or that the world doesn't wantto hear it. So I'm just using my
(07:39):
voice and my platform to belike, I'll share how ridiculous my
life is, all the mistakes Imade, so other women can feel more
comfortable to start sharing.
Incredible. That's so brave.Because you're sharing this. It's
like a sort of twofold thing.Like you said, you're sharing, like,
(08:00):
mistakes you made or ways inwhich you weren't healthy, but you're
now you're also sharing, like,ways that have helped you feel better
and that. So you're spreading.This is not. I shouldn't use this
(08:21):
phrase, but I'm going to.You're spreading the gospel in that
way. So it requiresvulnerability as well as a lot of
knowledge, I bet.
Yeah, it does. It does takeknowledge. But I will be the first
one to tell everybody. Thereis no way any of us can all be experts
(08:43):
on something, right? And I'mnever going to be the expert on anything.
But one thing I am really goodat is like, I almost feel like a
conduit. Like, I can find thatexpert over here and I can bring
them in where you might nothave thought they would come talk
to a group of women like acannabis expert. Why are they talking
to a group of moms? Maybe. ButI'm really good at finding those
(09:06):
pieces that can all cometogether, and that's what I want
to do. I will never retainknowledge if that makes sense. If
I'm not, I can learn anything,but if I'm not using it right at
that moment, my brain's like,boom, see ya. Probably not a shocker.
I got diagnosed with ADHD andall this healing, but yeah, that's
(09:28):
what it does. Take knowledge,but I don't want anyone to ever think
I'm gonna have all theknowledge because I'm not. But I
want to help women feel strongenough to know where to find it.
Or gosh forbid, when youGoogle, I hate the Internet is the
worst because who has enoughmoney to pay SEO or payrol? So even
(09:49):
Google you can't trust. Andthen you find out some of these studies
that have come out, like,saying, so much wine is good for
you. When you find out thatthey've been paid for by the alcohol
company. For these people tosay this, I'm like, I don't even
know what to trust anymore. Sosorry, I took that. Totally left
(10:12):
I squirreled. Yes, I want tohelp acquire that knowledge. And
part of being so vulnerable inhaving to admit these things and
maybe make an embarrassment ofmyself is if I'm not real, then I'm
just as bad as whatever yougoogle, right? I could just be a
paid off pawn. So I'm tryingto be as authentic and as vulnerable
as I can to help get thatinformation out there.
(10:37):
Yes. And so that makes sense.You're actually a representative
of your sort of client, ofwho? Your sort of client would be
a woman seeking those answersand seeking that information. And
(10:58):
so that's who you'reempowering. You're not saying I know
everything. Listen to me.You're saying, you guys, this is
awful. Like, we've probably,most of us all had an awful time
(11:19):
with this, and these arepeople and these are resources. And
these are questions we shouldbe asking.
Exactly that. That is the.Let's just put the awful out there.
Let's own it so we can findreal fic, authentic and not just
(11:43):
what is spending the mostamount of money to get us to buy
into something super powerfulfor the place I am all over. Gee.
And you should feel totallyempowered to be all over the place,
(12:03):
right?
Yes. For the very first personwe told the sex of our daughter to.
And I probably, okay, it was agirl. We said it was a girl. And
I probably made a face justbecause in full transparency, I always
thought I wanted boys. Butthat's because I was never a super
girly girl. And I was afraid.God, what if she wants to know how
(12:24):
to do makeup and do hair andmanage her emotions and this and
that? I just don't know how todo it. Which is a whole other story.
But the first person, we sawmy face and he said, it's okay, monica.
Women can do almost anythingnow. And I think back on that, I'm
like, yeah, we can. Why do wekeep ourselves small? And I think
(12:48):
a lot of. I realized I wasusing alcohol to stay small, to stay
in my lane, to stay numbed.Because my personality is, once you
start seeing it, I want tocall it out and I want to point it
out, and I want to fix it, andI want to do that. Yeah, we're just
running with it. We're justgoing for it.
But, yeah.
Having twins would lead to all that.
(13:11):
Yeah. I mean, it totallyexplodes your lives, I've heard.
Oh, my gosh. There's 17months. So.
Are they your okay?
My only kid.
Your only kids? Yeah. So whenthey hit, everything's new times
(13:34):
two now for you too. Yeah, allat once. But then double whammy.
Yes, exactly. Yeah. I did. Idon't have a 18 month old or no nine
month old.
She was 18 months when theywere born. She's 18 months older
than them. So, yeah, we atleast have a benchmark to reference
(13:57):
it to know, like, when it's anawful time. Oh, this is this stage.
It's gonna be awful until thisnext stage where y'all might be pulling
your hair out going, oh, myGod, I have the worst kid ever. This
kid's never gonna stop doingthis. Blah, blah, blah.
Yeah. If every time, and thechanges happen so quickly, like,
(14:18):
every time I feel like I havesome kind of, like, grasp. Every
time I feel like I have somekind of grasp on what's going on.
We've, like, morphed intoanother state. And the thing I'm
dealing with right now is,like, boundary discipline in any
(14:39):
kind of way. Like, makingboundaries and rules, especially
with my son. I have a son anddaughter. Veterinarian, twin. Yeah.
And my son came out first.Make it. Yeah. So I have no idea
how to, like, it's hard for meto be like, no, this isn't the rule.
(15:04):
Listen to me. I have no ideahow to do that in, like, an effective
way, but I have to, otherwiseit's going to be chaos, and that
won't help him at all.
It's so hard. I will say, Idon't even know. Everyone's kid's
(15:26):
going to be different. Right.My husband's more of a, like, far
no. And I'm like, let'sexplain. It drives my husband crazy,
but I'm like, we can still seta boundary and explain. But, yeah,
it's, they're at that agewhere they're just hesting what they
can do and what they can't doand learning, and it's hard. It really.
And each kid's going to be alittle bit different. That's the
(15:49):
most crazy and weird part ofit. Everyone says that, and I'm always
like, yeah, whatever. But it'strue. It really is. And just roll
with what you get each day.Tomorrow's another day. Cause that's
what I do. I have a new motto,actually, that.
It'S.
(16:10):
We'Re all gonna f our kids insome way. Not intentionally, but
there's gonna be somethingthat we did that they're like, it's
gonna get to them. So I'm justlike, I do my best, and I want. I'm
going with, I'm like, I'mgonna mess him up somehow. What can
you do?
Yeah. And that takes a certainamount of being at peace with yourself,
(16:34):
like, with your own demons orpast trauma or how you were raised
or whatever. It. Because if,if you're still, like, in contention
with what happened to me, thenit's. I think it's harder to be confident
(17:01):
as a parent, if that makes sense.
That's very insightful. I hadnever thought of it that way, because
here I am, like, oh, I gave upalcohol, I did cannabis, I did therapy.
Like, I'm becoming a bettermother, thinking I'm more patient,
which I am, and I don't getagitated as easily, but I never thought
(17:22):
to think that's because I'm socontent in me that I know what I'm
doing for my kids is the bestI can do and not just because I'm
surviving, it's because I'velearned this and I've healed from
this, and I've read aboutthis, and I'm not worried, like,
what my mother in law or myaunt or someone comes over and I
(17:42):
know they have some judgmenton things we do with our kids, but
that doesn't bother meanymore. Cause I'm confident in me,
like you said, I'm confidentin what I'm doing. So thank you.
I had never. That was a veryinsightful take on it.
Yeah. Yeah.
If you're parenting to haveyour kid behave so you don't feel
(18:04):
judgment from others, oryou're like, I don't know. I feel
like so much of it, I want mykid to behave this way at this time
in front of this person. Younever wanna be that one they're talking
about. But if you are contentwith you and your family and your
parenting, that anxiety eases away.
I say, yeah, yeah, totally.
(18:26):
Coming up with new parentingtechniques today.
And now they're.
So.
It's interesting what you saidabout women and asking questions
and being more like, whatabout this? Hey, just outspoken.
(18:50):
Do you feel like. I guess Ihave felt like, when I think of cannabis,
I don't think of women. Andhave you experienced that, like,
bias?
Yes and no. I will say thesame thing. I think that there was
(19:14):
always this, like, counterculture cannabis use image, right.
If you think of a woman usingcannabis, there's probably a very
certain demeanor, image,social class, all of that comes to
mind. So even though thesebeverages and edibles are legal,
(19:34):
they're still held againstyou, against, like, medical license
and insurance and all thosetype of things. And that's when I
was like, that's really athing. And I read more. It can be
used against you in courtcases with your kids, even though
it's federally legal oremployment. And I'm like, wow. There
are stigmas in the sense ofcontrol that are still out there.
(19:59):
The amount of control that canbe used with this is insane. Even
though it's federally legal,right. And we're projected to have
this dictmob, what it lookslike. And I live in a very conservative
neighborhood. I don't know theright way. Steve Scalise goes to
my church, where he's one ofthe Republican Congress leaders,
(20:23):
one of the Supreme Courtjustices, Amy Conant Barretta. She
graduated from this churchthat we go to, where my kids go to
school. Her dad's still adeacon. They are. So just to give
you an idea of thecircumstance that I surround myself
in. And here I am starting abusiness, basically destigmatizing
(20:47):
we, right? And so I was reallynervous the moms were gonna be. Cause
I'm not from here. My husbandwas born and raised in this, but
I'm not. So I'm already anoutsider. And I was like, man, they're
really gonna shun me now. Anda few people started asking me, and
finally I just said it. I waslike, this is what I do. And the
first one I said it to was atthe pre k three playdate. She's holding
(21:10):
her Harvard coffee mug, andI'm just like, I'm normalizing weed.
And she leans in, she goes, Itake a gummy before I take my kids
to the park. And every momthat has had the conversation with
me or now moms will come upand ask me very slyly, so this neat
(21:31):
neighborhood that you thinkwould be the most judgmental, all
these women are doing it, justnobody wants to talk about it out
loud. So I'm like, where isthe actual stigma? Because here I
thought people were going tostigmatize me because they think
I'm a bad mother or I'm justout smoking joints all day, and I'm
(21:51):
like, oh, my gosh, no. Peopleare doing this. There's just this
unsaid, entrenched system thatdoesn't let us talk about it out
loud. And that's really whatI'm like, oh, this is what we need
to keep pushing. It's not evenso much this stigma now that I want
to break. I'm wondering ifthis stigma was something that got
(22:13):
preached to us to avoid usfrom talking about it. So that's
what I'm trying to figure outright now. So, yes, a little bit
of stigma, but it's more fromthe older generation that grew up
during the reefer madnessphase than it is from mainly anybody
else.
(22:34):
Will you explain? Just in caseanyone doesn't know what the reefer
madness reference is, thereefer madness.
And I'm not going to quotethis perfectly, but it was, I think
the original movie came outin, like, the 1930s. But for those
that don't know, cannabis wasactually highly used. Back in the
(22:58):
early 19 hundreds pharmacistsused it. It was used medicinally.
This was a common drug formedicinal value. And then in, like,
Texas, when the mexicanimmigrants started coming over, they
brought flour and paper andwould smoke it. And that was a way
(23:18):
for. I hate to say the word,but racist, you can say no word.
It was founded in racism, thekind of negative connotation around
it. And then if you really dothe studies, then when alcohol was
made legal, kister, I think,or whoever was in charge of alcohol
prohibition, shifted all ofhis efforts then to cannabis prohibition,
(23:41):
because if he wouldn't haveprohibited something, then he would
have been out of a job. And sothere's that whole political aspect
of it. But then in that whole1930s, forties, fifties, the reefer
madness came out, which wasreally. They went town to town. This
is before Internet and beforethat. And preachers are some of our
(24:02):
best sales people, and theysold the thing that cannabis was
going to make our young kid goMadden and go to jazz clubs, and
our white women would sleepwith black men. That's what was gonna
happen if our kids usedcannabis, and that's what was sold
(24:25):
to that age group and how itbecame so much of counterculture.
So when you really look backthrough the history, it's really
fad to see how all thesenegative. And there's more. Those
are just the few to get youback to the reefer madness. But I
think the original movie cameout in the 1930s, and then there
was a remake. There's been acouple remakes, so it's definitely
(24:47):
worth checking out if youreally want to see. I use the word
indoctrinated, and mygrandfather lost his mind that I
called him indoctrinated, andI did not mean it in a mean way.
But you just don't know whatyou don't know.
Oh, yeah.
They were exposed to, andthat's what they were taught. They
know any different. But Ithink we're. Some generations are
(25:09):
just so locked into that. Butthe younger ones from, like, Gen
X, millennials, Gen Z, I thinkwe're all like, yeah, we know that
bullsh. There's still thisstigma or there's still power over
our jobs or power over ourkids. And that's really where I think
(25:30):
that there's still just somework to be done.
Yeah, it almost makes me thinkof. It makes me think of, I don't
know, like, homosexuality in,like, the eighties, nineties. I don't
(25:51):
know the correct exacttimeframe I'm thinking about. But
when it was like, if theyfound out you were gay at work.
That that was don't ask, don'ttell. The military control it. They
couldn't ban it, or theywouldn't have enough people.
(26:14):
So they went, don't, don'ttell. Shoot. The. That was literally
saying just going south.
Yeah. Right now, a don't ask,don't tell situation. They just,
let's all be quiet about it.Like, we're gonna do it, but we're
gonna be quiet about it. Andthe only way we're gonna drug test
(26:37):
is if you get hurt on the job,and then we can ban paying you because
now you've broken ourinsurance policies. It's. So meanwhile,
all the lobbying is happeningbehind the scenes right now to legalize
(27:01):
and deschedule or reschedulethe amount of money that's happening
behind the scenes now. Whywe're all focused on the election.
This is what all the meetingsare about. You're going to see a
ton of change in hemp andcannabis policy coming out, and it's
to keep the folks that have alot of money and have a lot of power
(27:23):
over the entrenched system aregoing to start buying out these companies,
but they're getting all theirducks in a row first. But how can
we, if we're still afraid toeven say we use it, how can we go
fight for it? How can we gofight for another industry being
taken over by consumerism,hurting your health for profit? So
(27:47):
it seems so weird, like, whenI say I go deep on things, like,
I really go deep on it, andthat's like, ultimately what I want
to get to and focus on and dobefore it's all taken over. But we
have to start with the babystep of even having people feel comfortable
to say I take a gummy before Itake my kid to the park. If we can't
(28:08):
say that, there's no wayanyone's going to be able to go to
Congress and battle for this,but it really should be a huge political
topic right now.
Yes and yes.
Sorry I pulled out this.
Wait, do you know how? Are youkidding? This is what I live for.
This is what I live for isgoing deep. It is a huge topic, are
(28:38):
a huge issue, and I have heardabout it, but I'm just now putting
it together. I've definitelyheard of it being a huge area for
(29:01):
people of color, for makingbusinesses and creating jobs, and
just. That's great. That's athing to be celebrated. And, yeah,
that would certainly bedestroyed if corporations took over.
(29:23):
They are seeing that in somestates, there's so many social equity
licenses that are awarded, butthen it's a financially impossible
to operate with a socialequity license. So they take on partners,
and then the partnerseventually take it out or buy them
out, or they win the licenseand then they sell them. Like, these
(29:44):
licenses that you can win areworth so much money, and it's a whole
we could do a whole, like,deep dive for 3 hours on the corruption
that's happening in thisindustry right now. It's really sad.
Really sadhesthe. I know.
This is the knowledge, though.
This.
The knowledge that is good,that we need. That we all need.
(30:10):
Yeah. And then it's finding away to get it out there. I always
thought I was so naive that ifsomeone had something intelligent
that would change the world ormake a huge impact as soon as they
said it, we would listen. Ijust thought people weren't talking.
Maybe. I don't know. It is sohard to be heard. It's so hard to
(30:30):
be heard. We're being trainedto have attention spans like this
to get your message out there.And we're so taught in consumerism
that we buy into things thatwe physically, like we. That we buy
into. So if you're not sellingsomething, people don't stay attached
to it. They don't feel like ifthey'd given. I don't know. It's
(30:53):
just really difficult to beheard, and it's just. It's made it
really interesting, just more interesting.
This is so interesting. Like,in so many ways. In so many ways.
Our conversation was notsurprising, but in our first episode,
(31:16):
I spoke with Bianca Sprague.She owned a Doula training company,
and she. We talked so muchabout being heard and, like, about
all of this data and all thisknowledge that she had about, like,
(31:37):
equity within the home and.But somehow we're not talking about
it or we're not able to bandtogether quite completely because
I don't.
(31:57):
It's so true, though, becausewe've all been disenfranchised and
hurt in different ways. Right?Like, mine just happened to be that
this was the impetus thatfinally made me start peeling the
onion back of all, what was Idrinking for before this incident?
So then I did uncover theADHD, and now that I look back, I'm
(32:19):
like, oh, my God, every signwas there. Right? But that's a whole
nother story. But so, like,for me, I'm like, this needs to be
heard. This needs to be. Andso with her, she might have had an
experience. So we're all, youknow, in these, like, areas that
we really want to see helpfor. How do you get hurt? Niche down.
Talk to the algorithm. Yousuck. And be little echo chambers,
(32:43):
which you're doing so good in.Anyone that's also passionate about
that? So we get these, like,great echo chambers everywhere, but
we're not connect y. And that,again, is the entrenched systems
that have been passed down tous is we don't feel comfortable necessarily
talking our small family unitsyet for fear of judgment or in our
(33:04):
communities. But then we findour own communities online, which
builds us into echo chambers.So how do we start connecting those
echo chambers? How do werealize that we're all part of this
small, not this small. We'reall part of the big Ben diagram,
where, when you look at it,she's fighting for this part of humans.
(33:24):
I'm fighting for this part ofhumans. There's all the work being
done behind the processedfoods. Right. There's so many strong
leaders in this, but we're allfighting different fights, and that's
like playing chess versus checkers.
Yeah.
In my theory right now, I saytrillions of dollars are about to
(33:45):
be passed hands. So let's alljoin behind the hemp and cannabis
fight, get that cleared upbefore all this money changes hands,
and then systematically movethrough the problems. But how do
you start combining everybody?You have to be heard. And if you
leave your algorithm, if youleave your niche, if you leave your
(34:06):
echo chamber, they don't knowhow to categorize you anymore, and
your views stop. And it'sjust. It's so hard to be heard, and
it's designed that way. First,we were designed with guilt in our
own communities, and then wefinally get the encouragement to
go speak about it vocallyonline, which is the most public
(34:28):
place of all. And they have usin little categories, and there's
so much out there to fightfor. Where do you start?
This is why I, like, I fell inlove with the Internet. I don't know,
whenever there was not quiteten years ago, but at some point,
(34:50):
like, when I felt like it wasstill. I still love the Internet.
Come on.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's like everything. It'scapable of everything. It's just.
Which is good and bad.
Cs. Exactly.
I remember. So I'm earlyInternet. I'm 38, for reference.
(35:14):
But I graduated high school2004, and so I went to Florida State
in that fall of 2004 is whenFacebook was just launching. And
so being an educate a largereducational institution, Florida
state was one of the firstones to get it. So I am like, I have
(35:35):
had my facebook for almost 20years. It will be 20 years this fall.
I get chills because I didn'trealize at the time what an early
adapter. But anyway, I comehome from college, I'm from Iowa,
I went to Florida State, Icome home, and I'm constantly on
our computer showing my. Iwent, dad, this is Facebook. I'm
(35:56):
talking to this person. I'mfriends with this person. My dad
for ten years seriouslythought I was sitting in my dorm
room talking to fake Internetfresh. It's like, early Internet.
I am. So I'm seeing, like, theconnection, the bad, the good. It's
everything. So my dad laterbought stock in the original, like,
(36:17):
IPO. I was laughing so hard. Iwas like, yeah, yeah. Talking Internet
street.
Yeah. Oh, my gosh.
But, yeah, there's so muchthat can be done. How do we get there?
That's the problem, is I'm soproud of all the women that are standing
up now and speaking out. Ithink there's a lot of strong women
(36:40):
that laid that foundation forus, and I think we're getting the
ability, and a lot of us arenow being. So it's just a matter
of. Okay, now, how do we bandtogether? We've learned that we can
be this vocal. Our next stepis how do we show our daughters how
we band together and fightthings collectively instead of individually.
(37:04):
I think that'll be the nextstep for us to get some things accomplished.
That sounds amazing to me. Ithink you're right, because I just
read and I don't, we've goneover time, but I just read yesterday
(37:24):
that Michelle Obama said thatshe went through IVF or some fertility
treatments to have herdaughters. And it was the first time
I ever.
Yeah. I never knew that untilright this moment.
Yeah. And so those are hugethings because her saying that gives,
(37:50):
like, all of us permission ina way, and takes some of the, like,
embarrassment or shame orwhatever, that shouldn't be there
away. But we do have to takeaction upon that, because isn't it
(38:17):
crazy that.
We'Re still talking abouthaving to have shame for infertility?
Because my babies are all forinfertility. Babies. That's a whole
nother day in story. We'restill talking about, how do we openly
say that and talk about itwhen the real discussion should be
like, why are we all infertilenow? Why is now having a baby so
(38:40):
profitable for institutions?Let's go back in the layers. It just
sad to me that we still feelguilty saying these things out loud,
that we can't even get to thereal discussions.
Merhaddel wow. Because ifwe're not saying it, that.
(39:05):
It'S not a problem.
Yeah. We're help. We'rehelping the bad guys.
Yeah. Our foods, environment,the plastics, the things we're exposed
to.
Lotion.
And I don't mean I'll saythings sometimes when I've been.
(39:25):
Someone close to my familycalled me a communist when I said
all this. They're like, oh,you just go enjoy your comrade life.
And I'm like, and that's theproblem, is you get attacked. Right?
And I didn't say it was anticapitalism, but if we're actively
harming humanity for profit,for who? That should be the discussion
(39:46):
more than me having to say outloud that I have fertility babies.
Like, why do I need to make.That's just the whole thing. It's,
let's get to the entrenchedsystems and processes that are making
this happen. Not still tryingto break down the barriers to even
(40:08):
talk about it.
Let's take the focus maybe offof us a little bit. Yeah.
We're all just trying tosurvive. That's all we're doing.
(40:29):
We didn't do anything wrong.We were just trying to survive in
the system we were given.
We don't have a master plan.Thank you so much for telling your
story and for everything youdo. I think that we should keep talking
(40:52):
in the eyes. I love the way.Yeah. Because this is obviously something
very current and happening inreal time.
Yeah. I appreciate you havingme. Any opportunity I get to share
(41:14):
and really bring up the biggerpoints is so appreciated. So thank
you for letting. I didn't meanfor it to go there, but I love that
where conversation wentbecause I think these are the things
that will help gain moretraction and people feeling comfortable
discussing things.
Absolutely. Thank you. Yes.Talk soon. Bye.
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