July 24, 2025 • 3 mins
Hello beautiful family. Welcome back to I Am Fruitful podcast. It's your host, Josephine Enumah, and today's episode is one that I didn't plan to share, but I know someone out there needs to hear this
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello, beautiful family.
Welcome back to I Am Fruitful podcast.
It's your host, Josephine Enumah, and today's episode is one that I didn't plan to share, but I someone, I know someone out there needs to hear this.
.0000000000036Let's talk about when faith feels high and fear still lingers, especially after loss, especially when the life that you knew, or once knew, is no longer the life that you're living.
(00:29):
When I lost my husband, I found myself walking in a new kind of faith, but also wrestling with a new kind of fear, a kind of fear that world, that the world wouldn't see or doesn't always understand, because to them, it looks like I'm taking risks.
But to me, I'm just trying to follow God's plan for me whilst holding onto sanity, my children, and my calling, and that's where the paradox begins.
(00:59):
I've found myself in moments where I believe God more than ever, and yet I question everything.
I trust His voice, but I still feel shaky in my steps.
I say, "Yes, Lord," but I still whisper, "Help me."
And here's the strange part of it all.
(01:21):
Some things I used to do effortlessly, now they just feel so heavy.
Simple tasks like taking the bin out suddenly comes with a pause.
Decisions feels like spiritual warfare.
.99999999998545Just making a phone call feels like a battle.
I second-guess things I used to do in my sleep.
(01:46):
But then again, there are some things I never imagined doing alone.
They now flow with grace.
cook dinner with joy again.
I pray over my children with new strength.
I lead, I build, I raise, I rise, even when I feel like I'm crumbling. 21 00:02:09,217.99999999998545 --> 00:02:11,440 Driving has become something of a joy.
(02:12):
I don't know if it's the speed.
I don't know if it's just the open motorway.
There's just something about it that brings peace.
I realized something, that this damn feeling is what they call the widow's paradox.
That's the decision of being a single mother, a grieving wife, a woman with purpose all at once.
(02:38):
I've stopped trying to make sense of it all, because some things aren't meant to be solved.
.0000000000291They are meant to be surrendered.
.0000000000291So if you're listening right now and you're wondering, is it just me?
Am I crazy for feeling both full and empty, brave and scared, strong but so, so, so tired?
(03:04):
.0000000000291Let me assure you, it's not just you.
It's the weight of your assignment.
It's the stretching of the spirit.
It's the evidence of God carrying you through what should have crushed you.
So today, I declare over you and over me, we are not broken beyond repair.
(03:27):
.0000000000291We are becoming.
God is rebuilding us in this, in the ruins.
And yes, we are fruitful, even in the fear.
.000000000029104If this episode resonated with you, please, sisters and brothers that may be listening, share it with someone who might be walking in this paradox, too.
(03:49):
And if you're watching this video or audio version, listening to it in your car, in your, in your kitchen, wherever you may be, pause, breathe, and remember God sees you, God knows, and He's not done with you yet.
I love you with the love of God, and the next one, keep believing, keep talking, keep speaking out, keep walking it out.
(04:15):
.0000000000291God is with you. 43 00:04:16,439.0000000000291 --> 00:04:19,319.0000000000291 You are fruitful even now. 44 00:04:19,319.0000000000291 --> 00:04:19,805.9999999999709 God bless you.
Hello, beautiful family.
Welcome back to I Am Fruitful podcast.
It's your host, Josephine Enumah, and today's episode is one that I didn't plan to share, but I someone, I know someone out there needs to hear this.
.0000000000036Let's talk about when faith feels high and fear still lingers, especially after loss, especially when the life that you knew, or once knew, is no longer the life that you're living.
(00:29):
When I lost my husband, I found myself walking in a new kind of faith, but also wrestling with a new kind of fear, a kind of fear that world, that the world wouldn't see or doesn't always understand, because to them, it looks like I'm taking risks.
But to me, I'm just trying to follow God's plan for me whilst holding onto sanity, my children, and my calling, and that's where the paradox begins.
(00:59):
I've found myself in moments where I believe God more than ever, and yet I question everything.
I trust His voice, but I still feel shaky in my steps.
I say, "Yes, Lord," but I still whisper, "Help me."
And here's the strange part of it all.
(01:21):
Some things I used to do effortlessly, now they just feel so heavy.
Simple tasks like taking the bin out suddenly comes with a pause.
Decisions feels like spiritual warfare.
.99999999998545Just making a phone call feels like a battle.
I second-guess things I used to do in my sleep.
(01:46):
But then again, there are some things I never imagined doing alone.
They now flow with grace.
cook dinner with joy again.
I pray over my children with new strength.
I lead, I build, I raise, I rise, even when I feel like I'm crumbling. 21 00:02:09,217.99999999998545 --> 00:02:11,440 Driving has become something of a joy.
(02:12):
I don't know if it's the speed.
I don't know if it's just the open motorway.
There's just something about it that brings peace.
I realized something, that this damn feeling is what they call the widow's paradox.
That's the decision of being a single mother, a grieving wife, a woman with purpose all at once.
(02:38):
I've stopped trying to make sense of it all, because some things aren't meant to be solved.
.0000000000291They are meant to be surrendered.
.0000000000291So if you're listening right now and you're wondering, is it just me?
Am I crazy for feeling both full and empty, brave and scared, strong but so, so, so tired?
(03:04):
.0000000000291Let me assure you, it's not just you.
It's the weight of your assignment.
It's the stretching of the spirit.
It's the evidence of God carrying you through what should have crushed you.
So today, I declare over you and over me, we are not broken beyond repair.
(03:27):
.0000000000291We are becoming.
God is rebuilding us in this, in the ruins.
And yes, we are fruitful, even in the fear.
.000000000029104If this episode resonated with you, please, sisters and brothers that may be listening, share it with someone who might be walking in this paradox, too.
(03:49):
And if you're watching this video or audio version, listening to it in your car, in your, in your kitchen, wherever you may be, pause, breathe, and remember God sees you, God knows, and He's not done with you yet.
I love you with the love of God, and the next one, keep believing, keep talking, keep speaking out, keep walking it out.
(04:15):
.0000000000291God is with you. 43 00:04:16,439.0000000000291 --> 00:04:19,319.0000000000291 You are fruitful even now. 44 00:04:19,319.0000000000291 --> 00:04:19,805.9999999999709 God bless you.
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