October 9, 2025 • 21 mins
When Susan was diagnosed with breast cancer, she faced one of the hardest moments of her life — telling her three young children.
In this deeply moving conversation, Susan opens up about the fear, heartbreak, and unexpected strength that came from sharing the truth with her family. From the moment her daughter asked, “Mommy, are you going to die?” to the day she invited her children to help shave her head, Susan’s story reminds us that resilience isn’t about being a superhero — it’s about presence, tenderness, and love.
Through tears and laughter, Susan reflects on what breast cancer taught her about motherhood, vulnerability, and the courage to lean on her children as much as they leaned on her. Her journey reminds us that even in the hardest moments, connection can be our greatest source of strength.
This episode is part of a 4-part Breast Cancer Awareness Month series, where four brave mothers open up about what it truly means to be vulnerable, to face fear with love, and to find resilience through it all.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:05):
Welcome to In Motherhood Where Every Story Matters. Today is a special series where we
combine motherhood and breast cancer, where resilience takes different forms. We often imagine
resilience as hiding fear and showing only strength. But today we would like
(00:25):
to speak to Susan, who has chosen differently to show up not in silence, but to show up
in hope, strength and tenderness. Susan, thank you for joining us today. When you
first received the news that you were diagnosed with breast cancer, I can only imagine how life
(00:46):
has shifted for you. We would like to hear a little bit about what life was like before you
got the news before. So I have three school going children and just like any
other family. It's actually beautifully ordinary. In the mornings, it's always noisy,
chaotic. Someone's always missing a sock, finding their homework. We are rushing through breakfast
(01:12):
and out the door. So my husband, either my, my husband or myself will be the ones ferrying the
children. And once they're home from school, we will be. Once they finished our homework, then it
was up to them to decide how they want to spend their afternoon. They could be biking, they could
be splashing in the pool. They could be making a mess in my kitchen. They could be baking. They
(01:34):
could be. If they wanted a quieter afternoon, they will go to the library as well. So it's always
different activities to. And it's these little moments that makes it precious that make this
journey even more meaningful. Hearing about how socks go missing on my recent trip to China, I was
digging through my laptop bag. I was on a solo trip just alone and digging through my laptop bag,
(01:57):
and I found, lo and behold, a sock. And it was my son's sock. And it obviously made me chuckle
because I'm like, oh yeah, this is the little moments where we are like, yes, I'm a mama, you know?
Even though I'm on a solo trip. Yeah. Well, it was, you know, hidden away and it probably does not fit
him anymore. But yeah, thanks for that. That really made me laugh. So hearing all these, like, ordinary
(02:20):
moments, you know, it makes it so much more precious. Especially knowing what came next. Could
you take us back into that moment where you first heard the news? Yeah. So I went to a doctor's
appointment alone to get the results. We didn't expect anything. The doctor said that they found
something they're not so sure. Could be something. Could be nothing. So we went for more detailed
(02:43):
scans and tests. And then when the results came back positive and when I found it was an
aggressive form of cancer, I was trying to process all that on my own before I could share the news
with my husband. How did you process processed it? I was spending a lot of time alone just thinking
through. What did I do? What did I not do? Why is it me? I don't wish upon anybody else. But what
(03:07):
went wrong in my choices that led me to be, you know, the one who had the cancer famous. Why me?
Yeah. Why me? So it was really like going through the five stages of grief, except that I was
between anger and disbelief all the time. It was just wave after wave of going between back
and forth, these two emotions. I think that really broke me down. And just finding how we are going
(03:33):
to be together as a family. Mhm. It was also difficult because my children are still very
young. I have three primary school children. How old were they then? They were five, eight
and ten. And that's what makes the news even harder because they are so young. So I borrowed
some materials from the colleges. I asked for pictures and asked for materials if I could share,
(03:57):
you know, with little children. And she did. And I also bought some books on how to communicate and
share these news, especially with younger ones, preferably with more graphics. Right. And but
nothing really prepared you for, for the actual moment when you broke the news to them. When you
have to share the news, how do you even find the words to say right? Exactly right. And I was
(04:20):
procrastinating. I was pushing it right to the last minute because I will be thinking, not today,
maybe tomorrow, maybe tomorrow, maybe tomorrow until I could push it no more. And it was the day
before my chemo stopped and I and I knew that I could wait no longer. And that has to be the day.
So I set them all down and I said, mommy has something to tell you. All of you. So when I say
that they they sort of knew something's up. And my daughter, you know, ever so mature and
(04:47):
ever so sensible, she's like, do you have cancer? And then I just froze.
And then they know and I and I said, how do you know? She said, I saw your Google searches. And I'm
like, okay, busted. You found me. And then she started crying. She said, are you going to die? And
I said, no, not yet. The doctors know what they're doing. And the moment she started crying,
(05:14):
my number two started crying too. And I think it was quite deliberate that I left the TV on. So my
youngest was only five. He he was looking at their siblings and at me. So was this very gut
wrenching scene where we were all just crying together and hugging, and then he was just five.
He's like, why are all of you crying? Why are what? What's the matter? What's going on? So he doesn't
(05:38):
understand, right. And it's difficult for me to to at that point tell him everything is okay because
I didn't at that point believe that everything is going to be okay too. But being the mother, I
always have to put up this stoic front like I got this. Everything's under control. Because don't
worry, I will still be me. And there was more of the message I was trying to send to them.
(06:05):
Thank you for sharing such vulnerable moment. This really brings me to wonder, could
all of them understand what was happening when you shared the news with them? What was their
reactions like you said? Both of them cried, so they understood. Yeah. And then the youngest was
perhaps a bit too young. Correct. To be honest, I think my number two at that time, he didn't really
(06:31):
understood because we have actually just celebrated his birthday party. And I made it like,
you know, nothing was happening. Life was normal. Life was normal. And he also noticed a new word
for him. So I don't think he understood the severity of it until when my daughter started
asking questions if I would make it. And when he saw her reaction that he realized that, okay, this
(06:54):
is. This could be serious. And that's why the tears for him as well. Was there something in their
faces that stood out to you? Or something? They just sit in that moment that you remember because
it was such a poignant moment for, you know, my daughter, just when she asked, are you going to die?
And then she quickly just hugged me. And that moment was very precious, because I was afraid
(07:18):
that the next day when I go for the treatment, if it could possibly be the last hug. I don't know
what is. What is the future? Yeah, correct, I was. This is a big question mark for me too. Everybody
said that, you know, it's a tough illness to beat, but I don't know how much my body could take as
well. Were you worried about how much you should show them? You know, in your vulnerability? This was
(07:41):
so vulnerable for you. But going through the treatment and the surgery that came after, what
went through your mind. The number one thing was I want to make sure they're okay, Both physically
and mentally. More of the mental. I want to make sure because I have a lot of treatments ongoing.
At one point, I want all of them to see that nothing changed. I'm still me. I'm still strong. I
(08:05):
can still protect them. I can still shield them. And this is what all mothers want to do, right? We
want to protect them from as much as we can. But when the treatment really started and I realized
that I was on the bed a lot, I was resting most of the time. I couldn't
even, you know, walk them to the door when they are off to school and wave them goodbye. I couldn't
(08:30):
even do that. That's why I said just now, with all the precious moments, like rushing through
breakfast and putting their files in their backpack and getting them out the door, those were
really little things that I missed the most because I couldn't find the strength to do that
again, and in my mind, I didn't know when I can do that again. Then came this powerful act that you
(08:52):
share with me. You invited your children into the process of shaving your head,
right? Mhm. Tell us why this was important to you, to invite your children. I've heard those
stories where some cancer warriors, they cancer various cancer warriors,
(09:12):
they face it alone. So they will be in their bathroom with their clipper and just do it on
their own. But I mean, right from the start, you know, losing your hair is the most obvious
sign that you're fighting cancer. And I wanted them to see rather than, you know, I shave
it quietly without them knowing. And then when they come home from school, they see that, oh, mom
(09:35):
is bald. That is that is not what I wanted. You didn't want to shield them? No I didn't. It was
quite deliberate, in fact. So I had very long hair back then. So I asked each of them
to grab a pair of scissors, and then all three of them were like cutting off sections of my hair
until it became this length. So it was easier for me to shave it after. And I think just being
(10:00):
there to witness me doing the act. It's also of no surprise to them. And interestingly,
it became a more lighthearted moment rather than I mean, I could have been in the bathroom crying
alone, but with their presence, interestingly, I actually leaned on them. It became a family moment.
Yeah. And you walked through the hardest part together? Correct? Correct. Yeah. And there was also
(10:24):
an interesting story where my husband also stood in solidarity. Right. So when he bought the Clipper
home, he was going to test out to see, oh, is it working? Is dead battery. So he just straight away
when went for it. And they're like no no no no no I don't want you to do it. I can do it on my own.
I'm okay. Then he's like, no, it's okay, I got this. And then he went to do it. Shaved his hair. Yeah, he
(10:45):
shaved his hair before you shaved your before me telling me that he's testing the Clipper. But then
what did your children say? He's like, oh, they're both out now. So then. So
then it was mine. So that kind of set the stage a little bit. Correct. So there was a little bit of
giggles and more lighthearted already because there were there were laughs. And what is the
(11:06):
positive aspect? We're just trying to, you know, not make this so such a solemn and tragic moment
right now when it came to my turn to shave and that I was going through okay. So after they cut
down, I was trying to shave it off. And after like two rounds, the blinker on the clipper light came
on. It's like that, like, oh, go bad. And then they're ready. You saw the battery? Yeah. And there I was
(11:30):
with my half shaven head. And then I'm like, look what you've done. So it's just so cute. Just
giggles all around. So at least you know. So I was actually really happy you felt the support and
the love and the care. Correct, correct. It became that moment that no matter what, you have your
family with you and they're going to be there to walk you through it. Yeah. And that was the moment
(11:52):
to remember, rather than it was the moment where Armentieres and I cried. In fact, there were no
tears because I was just laughing throughout that moment. And what about your children that, you know,
like you saw resilience in them? And for you to even take this beautiful moment that
was resilience in you that you were showing them as mum. How did that carry through through the
(12:15):
process of treatment? And what did that reveal to you? So a lot of times we just want
to be this Wonder Woman. Right. Moms, we we we got it all. Yeah. We have all the ducks in a
row. Everything is. The house is running perfectly. You know, we know everybody's schedule, calendar
and all that. But when I couldn't do that, I have to acknowledge and accept that
(12:41):
resilience also come in other forms, in other ways, not just by show of strength. It can
also be showing when I'm vulnerable. Honesty. It's a sign of resilience. Yeah.
So they would be able to also confront in future when they are feeling
(13:01):
angry, when they are feeling sad. And in those moments throughout my journey as well, they will
always tell me sometimes I'm angry that you have cancer. I'm upset the illness have turned you like
that, but I know that you're still my mummy and you still look beautiful and I know that you
still love me. So those words came out from their mouth and it was like a wake up call to me that,
(13:23):
okay, I don't need to to have it all together. And it's okay for me to show those moments of
weakness because the children, we can also lean on them. We can also draw strength
from them, and they can also support me more than I support them. Yes, they are stronger than we give
them credit for. Yes. Exactly. Right. So you were painting the picture where you were. Mummy. You
(13:48):
were taking care of them. You were raising them and you had all this strength. You were running
around doing everything. And when the diagnosis hit you, basically you couldn't be there for them.
And you lamented that battle. It was like a inner battle within yourself, right? Because the mum is
usually the glue and the pillar, the backbone of the family. And when that was taken from you, you
(14:11):
must have, you know, really gone through the trenches, I would say, you know, and, and came
out the other side. Now that you are in remission and you're a survivor, you know, what has that
revealed to you about motherhood? I think motherhood is really more than just being the
picture perfect one that we always want the children to see. We always want to let them see
(14:34):
our best side, right? We have all the answers. We we can do everything. We can go from work to kitchen,
we can cook and we can clean. We can do it all. Reminds me of the, you know, the dress toilet sign.
They say it's not a dress is a cape. Yes. But then during those
moments, I mean, this is also a teaching lesson, not just for them, but also for me that I don't need
(14:58):
to know at all. And the children really taught me more lessons than I did of them. They
taught me that to be honest with yourself, to show all your emotions, it's okay to cry. It's okay to
be angry. It's okay to be all these are okay. You don't have to bottle everything up. And I hope
that my journey is also a teaching point for them to know that you know, if they are feeling, if they
(15:23):
ever feel like that in school or around their friends. It's also okay to compliment and share
and not having to think that they have to keep it all together in them. When I was younger, I was
raised by my grandmother and my favorite thing to do was to. Whenever I was sad, I would put my head
on her lap and when I lost, I was the most painful loss because I felt like my grandma was like
(15:48):
a mom to me. She, you know, was the figure who was consistent. She was the consistent parent. And when
I had my son and he was maybe, like, old enough, I kind of missed that. And I had a moment where I,
you know, kind of crawled to him and then put my head on his lap and he embraced it. Yeah. You know,
and he embraced having me in that moment. And he knew exactly what to do. He just, like,
(16:15):
put his hand on my head. Yeah. And comforted me and said, I. You said, you know, I was like, oh my God. And
I had that again. So you're so right to say that we can lean on our children and it's
it's all right to do that, you know, because they are stronger than we give them credit for. You
know, they are resilience. You know, they they understand as well. Like, you know, we don't have to
(16:39):
shield them to protect them. We can share some of this to show them and allow them to grow
with us. Right. That brings us to if your children was to say something
about their mummy. Today about all that has changed. What would they say?
(16:59):
I posed that question to my children, and I told them that I'm coming for this recording today. And
I would like to ask them this question, and if they could write something for me, and they told
me not to look at it until I got here. So it would be a good, uh, is it good for me to
to know what they what they wrote? Okay. So this one is by my is by my eldest.
(17:23):
My daughter is actually. Yeah. It's very colorful because she. Yeah. She wrote like
slay queen and Sigma for the boys. So she actually wrote um, if there is
a message to also another child who is going through what she had gone through, she would say,
(17:43):
stay strong. Don't give up. It's okay not to be okay. Talk to your school counselor or any trusted
adult. And to the adult. You're not alone, so don't be okay
and don't give up. Cancer sucks, but we are here for you. And if the slate clean
picture. And then this is by my youngest pull of her. This is my youngest.
(18:09):
He he said, yeah, this is the this is the nine primary one. He said he
said you are strong. You're awesome. You're loved. You're not alone. You're
tough, you're courageous, you're brave, you're a fighter.
(18:30):
And then this is my number two. She wrote to mom. I learned that
you like to cry, but it's okay to cry. Cancer is not very. Cancer is not
very deadly. It's the treatment. The treatment is called chemotherapy. You can always
(18:51):
pray to God for help. Okay. That's very cute. That's very, very
cute. Thank you for sharing. That's so precious. I'm sure they would appreciate having shared
this, and I'm sure they've learned so much through this journey together with you. It would stay with
them till they are adults as well. I hope so. It will. They will. Susan. Is there
(19:17):
something you would like to say to another mom or another woman who is not yet a mom, or is not a
mom who is just beginning this journey, who just got diagnosed? What would you like to
say? It's a difficult topic to share with your family and especially your young ones, but have
trust and faith that they will be able to overcome. Resilience Is relational,
(19:42):
is built on love is built on, family is built on the support system that you have. And we are also
very thankful that we have a lot of friends who will come and help us in those moments where we
needed them, so know that they will be able to walk through together with you. It's not about
walking alone on your journey, it's about having somebody to walk alongside with you and knowing
(20:07):
that even in those tough times, your children doesn't forsake you. They will continue to love
and walk through those those moments where you needed them. I think that would be a very
beautiful thing. Susan, thank you for opening your heart and inviting us
into your story and your journey. This has been a pleasure to host you
(20:31):
because, in other words, was created to send light and hope to others who might be going
through the same journey and your story really reminds us that motherhood isn't about perfection.
It's about presence, truth, and love, even in the hardest moment. Strength and
(20:51):
vulnerability can live side by side. You don't have to hide the fears. You don't
have to shield and protect your children. They are more resilient than we give them credit for.
And by telling these stories, we hope and believe that we will pass on tenderness and
(21:12):
strength through the generations. And I'm sure your children will be so proud of you and rooting
for you back home when mama is here sharing her story today. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for having
me. You've been listening to In Mother Words, where every mama has a story that matters. Thank
you and I'll see you in the next episode.
Welcome to In Motherhood Where Every Story Matters. Today is a special series where we
combine motherhood and breast cancer, where resilience takes different forms. We often imagine
resilience as hiding fear and showing only strength. But today we would like
(00:25):
to speak to Susan, who has chosen differently to show up not in silence, but to show up
in hope, strength and tenderness. Susan, thank you for joining us today. When you
first received the news that you were diagnosed with breast cancer, I can only imagine how life
(00:46):
has shifted for you. We would like to hear a little bit about what life was like before you
got the news before. So I have three school going children and just like any
other family. It's actually beautifully ordinary. In the mornings, it's always noisy,
chaotic. Someone's always missing a sock, finding their homework. We are rushing through breakfast
(01:12):
and out the door. So my husband, either my, my husband or myself will be the ones ferrying the
children. And once they're home from school, we will be. Once they finished our homework, then it
was up to them to decide how they want to spend their afternoon. They could be biking, they could
be splashing in the pool. They could be making a mess in my kitchen. They could be baking. They
(01:34):
could be. If they wanted a quieter afternoon, they will go to the library as well. So it's always
different activities to. And it's these little moments that makes it precious that make this
journey even more meaningful. Hearing about how socks go missing on my recent trip to China, I was
digging through my laptop bag. I was on a solo trip just alone and digging through my laptop bag,
(01:57):
and I found, lo and behold, a sock. And it was my son's sock. And it obviously made me chuckle
because I'm like, oh yeah, this is the little moments where we are like, yes, I'm a mama, you know?
Even though I'm on a solo trip. Yeah. Well, it was, you know, hidden away and it probably does not fit
him anymore. But yeah, thanks for that. That really made me laugh. So hearing all these, like, ordinary
(02:20):
moments, you know, it makes it so much more precious. Especially knowing what came next. Could
you take us back into that moment where you first heard the news? Yeah. So I went to a doctor's
appointment alone to get the results. We didn't expect anything. The doctor said that they found
something they're not so sure. Could be something. Could be nothing. So we went for more detailed
(02:43):
scans and tests. And then when the results came back positive and when I found it was an
aggressive form of cancer, I was trying to process all that on my own before I could share the news
with my husband. How did you process processed it? I was spending a lot of time alone just thinking
through. What did I do? What did I not do? Why is it me? I don't wish upon anybody else. But what
(03:07):
went wrong in my choices that led me to be, you know, the one who had the cancer famous. Why me?
Yeah. Why me? So it was really like going through the five stages of grief, except that I was
between anger and disbelief all the time. It was just wave after wave of going between back
and forth, these two emotions. I think that really broke me down. And just finding how we are going
(03:33):
to be together as a family. Mhm. It was also difficult because my children are still very
young. I have three primary school children. How old were they then? They were five, eight
and ten. And that's what makes the news even harder because they are so young. So I borrowed
some materials from the colleges. I asked for pictures and asked for materials if I could share,
(03:57):
you know, with little children. And she did. And I also bought some books on how to communicate and
share these news, especially with younger ones, preferably with more graphics. Right. And but
nothing really prepared you for, for the actual moment when you broke the news to them. When you
have to share the news, how do you even find the words to say right? Exactly right. And I was
(04:20):
procrastinating. I was pushing it right to the last minute because I will be thinking, not today,
maybe tomorrow, maybe tomorrow, maybe tomorrow until I could push it no more. And it was the day
before my chemo stopped and I and I knew that I could wait no longer. And that has to be the day.
So I set them all down and I said, mommy has something to tell you. All of you. So when I say
that they they sort of knew something's up. And my daughter, you know, ever so mature and
(04:47):
ever so sensible, she's like, do you have cancer? And then I just froze.
And then they know and I and I said, how do you know? She said, I saw your Google searches. And I'm
like, okay, busted. You found me. And then she started crying. She said, are you going to die? And
I said, no, not yet. The doctors know what they're doing. And the moment she started crying,
(05:14):
my number two started crying too. And I think it was quite deliberate that I left the TV on. So my
youngest was only five. He he was looking at their siblings and at me. So was this very gut
wrenching scene where we were all just crying together and hugging, and then he was just five.
He's like, why are all of you crying? Why are what? What's the matter? What's going on? So he doesn't
(05:38):
understand, right. And it's difficult for me to to at that point tell him everything is okay because
I didn't at that point believe that everything is going to be okay too. But being the mother, I
always have to put up this stoic front like I got this. Everything's under control. Because don't
worry, I will still be me. And there was more of the message I was trying to send to them.
(06:05):
Thank you for sharing such vulnerable moment. This really brings me to wonder, could
all of them understand what was happening when you shared the news with them? What was their
reactions like you said? Both of them cried, so they understood. Yeah. And then the youngest was
perhaps a bit too young. Correct. To be honest, I think my number two at that time, he didn't really
(06:31):
understood because we have actually just celebrated his birthday party. And I made it like,
you know, nothing was happening. Life was normal. Life was normal. And he also noticed a new word
for him. So I don't think he understood the severity of it until when my daughter started
asking questions if I would make it. And when he saw her reaction that he realized that, okay, this
(06:54):
is. This could be serious. And that's why the tears for him as well. Was there something in their
faces that stood out to you? Or something? They just sit in that moment that you remember because
it was such a poignant moment for, you know, my daughter, just when she asked, are you going to die?
And then she quickly just hugged me. And that moment was very precious, because I was afraid
(07:18):
that the next day when I go for the treatment, if it could possibly be the last hug. I don't know
what is. What is the future? Yeah, correct, I was. This is a big question mark for me too. Everybody
said that, you know, it's a tough illness to beat, but I don't know how much my body could take as
well. Were you worried about how much you should show them? You know, in your vulnerability? This was
(07:41):
so vulnerable for you. But going through the treatment and the surgery that came after, what
went through your mind. The number one thing was I want to make sure they're okay, Both physically
and mentally. More of the mental. I want to make sure because I have a lot of treatments ongoing.
At one point, I want all of them to see that nothing changed. I'm still me. I'm still strong. I
(08:05):
can still protect them. I can still shield them. And this is what all mothers want to do, right? We
want to protect them from as much as we can. But when the treatment really started and I realized
that I was on the bed a lot, I was resting most of the time. I couldn't
even, you know, walk them to the door when they are off to school and wave them goodbye. I couldn't
(08:30):
even do that. That's why I said just now, with all the precious moments, like rushing through
breakfast and putting their files in their backpack and getting them out the door, those were
really little things that I missed the most because I couldn't find the strength to do that
again, and in my mind, I didn't know when I can do that again. Then came this powerful act that you
(08:52):
share with me. You invited your children into the process of shaving your head,
right? Mhm. Tell us why this was important to you, to invite your children. I've heard those
stories where some cancer warriors, they cancer various cancer warriors,
(09:12):
they face it alone. So they will be in their bathroom with their clipper and just do it on
their own. But I mean, right from the start, you know, losing your hair is the most obvious
sign that you're fighting cancer. And I wanted them to see rather than, you know, I shave
it quietly without them knowing. And then when they come home from school, they see that, oh, mom
(09:35):
is bald. That is that is not what I wanted. You didn't want to shield them? No I didn't. It was
quite deliberate, in fact. So I had very long hair back then. So I asked each of them
to grab a pair of scissors, and then all three of them were like cutting off sections of my hair
until it became this length. So it was easier for me to shave it after. And I think just being
(10:00):
there to witness me doing the act. It's also of no surprise to them. And interestingly,
it became a more lighthearted moment rather than I mean, I could have been in the bathroom crying
alone, but with their presence, interestingly, I actually leaned on them. It became a family moment.
Yeah. And you walked through the hardest part together? Correct? Correct. Yeah. And there was also
(10:24):
an interesting story where my husband also stood in solidarity. Right. So when he bought the Clipper
home, he was going to test out to see, oh, is it working? Is dead battery. So he just straight away
when went for it. And they're like no no no no no I don't want you to do it. I can do it on my own.
I'm okay. Then he's like, no, it's okay, I got this. And then he went to do it. Shaved his hair. Yeah, he
(10:45):
shaved his hair before you shaved your before me telling me that he's testing the Clipper. But then
what did your children say? He's like, oh, they're both out now. So then. So
then it was mine. So that kind of set the stage a little bit. Correct. So there was a little bit of
giggles and more lighthearted already because there were there were laughs. And what is the
(11:06):
positive aspect? We're just trying to, you know, not make this so such a solemn and tragic moment
right now when it came to my turn to shave and that I was going through okay. So after they cut
down, I was trying to shave it off. And after like two rounds, the blinker on the clipper light came
on. It's like that, like, oh, go bad. And then they're ready. You saw the battery? Yeah. And there I was
(11:30):
with my half shaven head. And then I'm like, look what you've done. So it's just so cute. Just
giggles all around. So at least you know. So I was actually really happy you felt the support and
the love and the care. Correct, correct. It became that moment that no matter what, you have your
family with you and they're going to be there to walk you through it. Yeah. And that was the moment
(11:52):
to remember, rather than it was the moment where Armentieres and I cried. In fact, there were no
tears because I was just laughing throughout that moment. And what about your children that, you know,
like you saw resilience in them? And for you to even take this beautiful moment that
was resilience in you that you were showing them as mum. How did that carry through through the
(12:15):
process of treatment? And what did that reveal to you? So a lot of times we just want
to be this Wonder Woman. Right. Moms, we we we got it all. Yeah. We have all the ducks in a
row. Everything is. The house is running perfectly. You know, we know everybody's schedule, calendar
and all that. But when I couldn't do that, I have to acknowledge and accept that
(12:41):
resilience also come in other forms, in other ways, not just by show of strength. It can
also be showing when I'm vulnerable. Honesty. It's a sign of resilience. Yeah.
So they would be able to also confront in future when they are feeling
(13:01):
angry, when they are feeling sad. And in those moments throughout my journey as well, they will
always tell me sometimes I'm angry that you have cancer. I'm upset the illness have turned you like
that, but I know that you're still my mummy and you still look beautiful and I know that you
still love me. So those words came out from their mouth and it was like a wake up call to me that,
(13:23):
okay, I don't need to to have it all together. And it's okay for me to show those moments of
weakness because the children, we can also lean on them. We can also draw strength
from them, and they can also support me more than I support them. Yes, they are stronger than we give
them credit for. Yes. Exactly. Right. So you were painting the picture where you were. Mummy. You
(13:48):
were taking care of them. You were raising them and you had all this strength. You were running
around doing everything. And when the diagnosis hit you, basically you couldn't be there for them.
And you lamented that battle. It was like a inner battle within yourself, right? Because the mum is
usually the glue and the pillar, the backbone of the family. And when that was taken from you, you
(14:11):
must have, you know, really gone through the trenches, I would say, you know, and, and came
out the other side. Now that you are in remission and you're a survivor, you know, what has that
revealed to you about motherhood? I think motherhood is really more than just being the
picture perfect one that we always want the children to see. We always want to let them see
(14:34):
our best side, right? We have all the answers. We we can do everything. We can go from work to kitchen,
we can cook and we can clean. We can do it all. Reminds me of the, you know, the dress toilet sign.
They say it's not a dress is a cape. Yes. But then during those
moments, I mean, this is also a teaching lesson, not just for them, but also for me that I don't need
(14:58):
to know at all. And the children really taught me more lessons than I did of them. They
taught me that to be honest with yourself, to show all your emotions, it's okay to cry. It's okay to
be angry. It's okay to be all these are okay. You don't have to bottle everything up. And I hope
that my journey is also a teaching point for them to know that you know, if they are feeling, if they
(15:23):
ever feel like that in school or around their friends. It's also okay to compliment and share
and not having to think that they have to keep it all together in them. When I was younger, I was
raised by my grandmother and my favorite thing to do was to. Whenever I was sad, I would put my head
on her lap and when I lost, I was the most painful loss because I felt like my grandma was like
(15:48):
a mom to me. She, you know, was the figure who was consistent. She was the consistent parent. And when
I had my son and he was maybe, like, old enough, I kind of missed that. And I had a moment where I,
you know, kind of crawled to him and then put my head on his lap and he embraced it. Yeah. You know,
and he embraced having me in that moment. And he knew exactly what to do. He just, like,
(16:15):
put his hand on my head. Yeah. And comforted me and said, I. You said, you know, I was like, oh my God. And
I had that again. So you're so right to say that we can lean on our children and it's
it's all right to do that, you know, because they are stronger than we give them credit for. You
know, they are resilience. You know, they they understand as well. Like, you know, we don't have to
(16:39):
shield them to protect them. We can share some of this to show them and allow them to grow
with us. Right. That brings us to if your children was to say something
about their mummy. Today about all that has changed. What would they say?
(16:59):
I posed that question to my children, and I told them that I'm coming for this recording today. And
I would like to ask them this question, and if they could write something for me, and they told
me not to look at it until I got here. So it would be a good, uh, is it good for me to
to know what they what they wrote? Okay. So this one is by my is by my eldest.
(17:23):
My daughter is actually. Yeah. It's very colorful because she. Yeah. She wrote like
slay queen and Sigma for the boys. So she actually wrote um, if there is
a message to also another child who is going through what she had gone through, she would say,
(17:43):
stay strong. Don't give up. It's okay not to be okay. Talk to your school counselor or any trusted
adult. And to the adult. You're not alone, so don't be okay
and don't give up. Cancer sucks, but we are here for you. And if the slate clean
picture. And then this is by my youngest pull of her. This is my youngest.
(18:09):
He he said, yeah, this is the this is the nine primary one. He said he
said you are strong. You're awesome. You're loved. You're not alone. You're
tough, you're courageous, you're brave, you're a fighter.
(18:30):
And then this is my number two. She wrote to mom. I learned that
you like to cry, but it's okay to cry. Cancer is not very. Cancer is not
very deadly. It's the treatment. The treatment is called chemotherapy. You can always
(18:51):
pray to God for help. Okay. That's very cute. That's very, very
cute. Thank you for sharing. That's so precious. I'm sure they would appreciate having shared
this, and I'm sure they've learned so much through this journey together with you. It would stay with
them till they are adults as well. I hope so. It will. They will. Susan. Is there
(19:17):
something you would like to say to another mom or another woman who is not yet a mom, or is not a
mom who is just beginning this journey, who just got diagnosed? What would you like to
say? It's a difficult topic to share with your family and especially your young ones, but have
trust and faith that they will be able to overcome. Resilience Is relational,
(19:42):
is built on love is built on, family is built on the support system that you have. And we are also
very thankful that we have a lot of friends who will come and help us in those moments where we
needed them, so know that they will be able to walk through together with you. It's not about
walking alone on your journey, it's about having somebody to walk alongside with you and knowing
(20:07):
that even in those tough times, your children doesn't forsake you. They will continue to love
and walk through those those moments where you needed them. I think that would be a very
beautiful thing. Susan, thank you for opening your heart and inviting us
into your story and your journey. This has been a pleasure to host you
(20:31):
because, in other words, was created to send light and hope to others who might be going
through the same journey and your story really reminds us that motherhood isn't about perfection.
It's about presence, truth, and love, even in the hardest moment. Strength and
(20:51):
vulnerability can live side by side. You don't have to hide the fears. You don't
have to shield and protect your children. They are more resilient than we give them credit for.
And by telling these stories, we hope and believe that we will pass on tenderness and
(21:12):
strength through the generations. And I'm sure your children will be so proud of you and rooting
for you back home when mama is here sharing her story today. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for having
me. You've been listening to In Mother Words, where every mama has a story that matters. Thank
you and I'll see you in the next episode.
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