February 27, 2025 • 57 mins
Breaking Barriers: The Real Pageant Journey
Join Amanda McCombs and her guest, Mrs. Utah County, as they dive into the intricacies of participating in beauty pageants and the profound personal growth that accompanies the journey. They discuss their individual experiences, the importance of community, empowering sisterhood, and how the challenges they face shape their resilience. Through candid conversations, they explore topics such as facing personal lows, the significance of genuine connections, and the role of pageantry in self-discovery and personal development. This episode sheds light on the transformative impact these pageants have beyond the glitz and glamour, focusing on authenticity, support systems, and building lasting legacies.
00:00 Introduction to Amanda McCombs
00:12 Meet Mrs. Utah County
00:29 The Power of Sisterhood
01:26 Amanda's Personal Journey
03:06 The Pageant Experience
04:20 Community and Empowerment
05:56 Finding Genuine Connections
07:56 Overcoming Personal Struggles
10:29 The Pageant System's Impact
14:41 Starting the Pageant Journey
19:17 The First Pageant Experience
25:25 The Importance of Platforms
27:21 Struggles and Changes
28:53 Hiding Pain and Seeking Help
30:55 Legacy and Life Choices
32:29 Pageantry and Personal Growth
35:02 The Importance of Authenticity
47:44 Mentorship and Giving Back
54:31 Reflections and Future Plans
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Welcome.
To the inner workings ofthe not so genius mind.
I'm Amanda McCombs, the not so genius.
You're Mrs. Daybreak and Ihave with me Mrs. Utah County.
Oh my gosh.
I'm looking at all of your sashes.
Look at you.
Oh, my lot of work.
(00:25):
Beautiful.
Holy smokes with your headshot up above.
Anyway, she is my sash sister.
I'm introducing you.
My sash sister in the businessof people running a family
business with her husband, man.
And was it you that wrote.
That cookbook with your daughters?
(00:47):
Yes.
We'll talk about that more.
And she's a mom of three amazing girls.
We were just talkingabout your youngest is 10.
Yeah.
Ballroom and hip hop dance fanatic.
Like you like to dance them.
Yeah, and I teach them help.
Help a girl out, please.
(01:11):
The last one you said,you're my biggest fan.
I love you so much, Clarissa.
So happy to,
so, so happy to be here with you.
I mean already, Amanda, your journey from,it's been what we've known each other
(01:32):
for a little over a year and a half, andlike your journey has been inspiring and
very, very visual to me that there isproof people can change and proof that.
What we go through can either destroyus or refine us and make us stronger and
better like you are living proof of that.
(01:54):
Yeah.
I think
you probably met me when I wasat one of my lowest of lows
because, um, Jess.
Is the one that invited me todo the pageant and she had no
idea what I was going through.
(02:14):
Like nobody did.
I was really good at hiding itlike a lot of us are, right?
Yeah.
Serious, real.
Um, but we just had that workshop.
When was it?
Uh, it wasn't even a workshop.
It was the favorite thanksChristmas party, I think.
And you left me that messageand afterwards I was like.
(02:37):
Nobody has ever talked to me like that.
I've never had a community of women whereI've just felt like I could be safe.
Right.
So like, we're, we're like, not, we'retwo, two minutes in and I'm crying.
Um, you're just, you'reso incredible to me.
(03:00):
And you've just been an amazing exampleand I've never, the whole time I've been.
Doing this pageant thing likethis is my second year and now
I'm looking, is it your fourth?
It's my fourth.
And so like people are, peopleare so surprised that women keep
(03:20):
coming back, but we keep coming backbecause of the relationships we have.
We come back because of the sisterhoodand because it helps lift each other up.
Yeah, I, I know of no otherorganization that I have been aware of.
(03:42):
I mean, I'm sure there are thingslike this in other sectors, but like
you will never find women who areworking on themselves, working in the
community to make it better and cheeringeach other on within that realm.
Yeah.
Right.
It's never
been me against you.
(04:02):
It's like, wow.
Look at how amazing you are.
Look at how amazing you are.
What can I do to help you?
Um, we're sharing dresses, wardrobe,whatever, um, tips and tricks.
Like, nothing's a secret.
We're not keeping anything hidden.
It's not, we're helping each other.
Like it's a true visionof empowerment, right?
(04:25):
Yeah.
You know, and that's not,it's not the April 25th stuff.
Right.
But to a certain extent, it kind of is.
You have to extrapolate thatout because it is, mm-hmm.
That is what we want, but werecognize that it has to be done.
(04:46):
Uh, through little pieces, not, notthe full spectrum of world peace, but
like each individual woman recognizesthat that's what she wants overall.
Yeah.
But her portion is her purpose inthat period of time, in that small
bubble that she has influence over.
Yeah.
Well, and we, every single womanI've met in this pageant, they
(05:09):
all just have incredible stories.
To share and they'reall driven to do good.
Whatever good it is.
And I think some of us, some ofus, like last year I was like, oh
my gosh, deer in the headlights.
I didn't realize what I had reallysigned up for until like it's over.
(05:30):
It was over.
And then I was, and thenI was like, oh my gosh.
It goes on to Mrs. America.
You make prizes.
I didn't even thinkabout winning anything.
Like my thought goinginto it was not winning.
It was, what the heck is this?
(05:51):
Yeah.
And long for the ride and it was healing.
We need that.
I agree to that.
Yeah.
And I talked, I was talking withsomebody El a friend yesterday.
I got invited to Zumba.
And I was like, yeah,sure, I'll go to Zumba.
I haven't done it in years.
And then she was like,oh, it's at a church.
And I was like, 'causeI don't go to church.
(06:14):
Right.
Um, I have a very strenuous relationshipwith like church buildings and very
worried that I walk in and they're gonnalike burst into flames because of me.
Um, but I went in and everyonewas so like welcoming.
I cried to her afterwards becausewe, we've lost our villages.
(06:39):
I think that's one of
the reasons why I teach hiphop, because that is community.
Yeah.
When we, and, and I have ladies who can'teven speak English, who come into my
class, and it truly is that dance is this.
This universal language that empowersus because we are mastering control
(07:03):
over this individual that we have.
We have to practice lettinggo in order to fully feel the
music and feel those moves and.
I have to laugh because I teach,one of my classes is actually at
a church, but it's free and it'scommunity and anybody can come.
That's just the medium inwhich we're able to do that.
(07:25):
But you'll never find a, a moreamazing group of ladies, right, than
those who go to that community tomake friends and to welcome others.
Well,
I walked
in and I was a littleworried just 'cause, um.
I have a hard time.
Sorry, I'm gonna cry again.
(07:46):
You're good.
You're good, Amanda.
I have a hard time knowing
if somebody genuinely wantsto be my friend because yeah.
I've been so hurt in the past.
I've had people that have totally betrayedme and pretended to be my friend and.
(08:10):
I was alone for a long time.
I didn't have a sisterhood.
And when I moved into my new community, itwas during Covid, like right before Covid.
It was 2019.
And that's hard happened.
And it's hard for me to makefriends 'cause people are scary.
(08:31):
And I don't know if I'm like actuallyfor real being invited or they
really want me being there becauseI've been told I'm too much or.
Whatever.
Right, right.
So you come up against the barrierof, will I be accepted for who I am?
And I kind of, this pageant kind of,
(08:54):
and I think I, I, when Isaid it to you is how I was
kind of figuring out how to say it right?
'cause I was so broken.
All your broken and shattered piecesare all over the floor, right?
And then super quiet.
I love it.
(09:16):
No back.
Not that
all your broken pieces are all over thefloor, and you have to even figure out
what they mean and if you even want thembefore you can put 'em back together.
And I like, I didn't, I didn't even know.
What my favorite food was.
(09:37):
I'm like trying to think of ques,like the different questions
and like just basic things.
Tell me about yourself.
That's like one of the first pageantquestions that they ask you when you
interview and it, and you only have somuch time and you can't just be like it.
Like you have to know who you are andyou have to be like, this is who I am
(10:00):
and it's okay if people don't like me.
And this pageant like taught methat I could, like, it grounded me
so that I'm like more aligned withmy own purpose and I'm not thinking
about what everybody else thinksabout me, because that's exhausting.
(10:20):
We can't do that because all,all of this isn't for them.
It's for me.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think that, um, what Ihave noticed, because it's been
multiple years for me, is to chooseto accept the new me every time.
(10:41):
Yeah.
Because each one of these years I can lookback and things have been so different.
And so if I, if I was stillthe person from the first year,
uh, there would be issues.
Yeah.
Right.
And I think you recognize that now.
I mean, when I saw you at that party,at the favorite things party, it had
(11:03):
been what, like six or seven monthssince we had seen each other in person.
And you know, I texted you and I was like,look, you are, you are totally different.
Still the same, but like there wassomething so different about you, so
peaceful, so grounded, so open, secure.
(11:24):
I think that would be aword that I would use.
Just very self secure.
And you know, if you were still whatyou were the first time you signed
up for your first pageant lastyear, like then the patent system
or life wouldn't be doing its job.
Yeah.
(11:44):
Yeah.
I wasn't even eating, I was so depressed.
It was right after my mom.
Yeah.
Yeah, like a coupleweeks after her funeral.
Yeah.
And I was like, no way me do abeauty pageant weirdo, Jess is crazy.
(12:09):
Why would I do a beauty pageant?
And that's insane.
And then I started likereally thinking about it and
was like, sure, why not?
I think there was onlyone person that was like.
Are you nuts?
But I just like, I didn't know I, Ineeded a community and I needed, Jess
(12:35):
believed in me for some weird reason.
Right.
Hold on.
No,
um.
I just saw her dancing ina pretty dress on Facebook.
I wanted to see what it was aboutand it healed me and I met amazing,
(12:59):
like you just have always beenvery self-assured and well-spoken.
And I was so shy because I was so worriedabout what everybody thought about me.
So then when people like you are like,I wanna be your friend, I'm like.
(13:20):
Yeah, it really requires, it requiresyou to look at the boundaries that
you placed on yourself for protection.
Yeah.
And learning to like let those go.
So that you can be that genuine self.
Because what I have noticedis that this pageant system
like requires a genuine self.
(13:41):
Yeah.
You cannot be in itjust to like be pretty.
Yeah.
Well, and, and I don't know about othersystems, but from what I have seen
of other systems, you could maybe getaway with not being your genuine self.
Yeah.
But how?
But how the directors of the Mrs.Utah pageant work, I mean, I haven't
(14:04):
been to nationals, so that's somethingso different or worlds or whatever,
but like our directors of thispageant pull that genuine self out.
We well, and
I love that we can get together andthat we have our community, that we
(14:25):
can be chatting and we can be helpingeach other and motivating each other.
Because there's never been, I'venever felt undercut, and I've never
seen anybody undercut anybody else.
It is the most genuine groupof amazing women I've ever met.
So now I wanna back up becauselet's go back to year one.
(14:46):
What made you try not, howdid this journey even be?
Oh, man.
Let's see, my middle daughteris 13 years old when she was
still an infant in her car seat.
We, my husband and I, so I hadone older daughter and then her.
Mm-hmm.
And we were up in Ogden.
(15:06):
We had just moved up to Ogden,um, bought our first home and we
were driving down Main Street inOgden and we passed the theater.
I think it's called the Egyptian Theater.
That's up in Ogden.
Oh yeah.
He, it said, Mrs. Utah, you know, Junesomething I, I, that's all I can remember.
(15:26):
And I have that visual in my head.
And my husband, he looked at me andhe is like, you should do those.
You should do one of those sometime.
And I was like, yeah, right.
Like, okay.
And you know, that's you.
Yeah.
I had kind of thoughtabout my teenage years and.
(15:47):
Uh, just not quite getting the parentalsupport for doing anything like that.
Um, I think I, I love my parents.
I have such a great relationship withthem, but they only knew what they
only knew and they were trying todo their best, and that was just not
something that was in their vision ofwhat they wanted out of their daughter.
(16:10):
Let's just put it.
And I respect that.
And I know that my girls are probablygonna have the same feelings about me
when they're, you know, 29, 28, 29, andthey're probably gonna look back and
be like, ah, mom, you know, but I'll belike, look, at that time, at that period,
these were the decisions that we had made.
(16:31):
I. And that's, that's great.
In parenting, it's all about forgiveness.
I, I tell you, it's all about forgiveness,but so I had thought, so I had wanted to
do that as a teenager and as a young girl.
I mean, I watched pageants growing up.
I watched Miss America and Miss USAwhen they were on tv and, you know, I,
I just love all of that, the dressesand the glam, and didn't really
(16:53):
know anything about the backend.
Well, fast forward to 2021.
Oh, and I had just finished teaching,so it had been 10 years since that
conversation that my husband justplanted that seed of like, you
(17:14):
should do one of those someday.
Like very casual.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I had just finished teaching a hiphop class and I had gone to my car
and I was posting about my class and Idistinctly heard the words in my head.
It's time, it's time.
And I knew exactly what that was.
(17:36):
I knew I had that flash of thatmarquee and my husband holding my
hand in that car, in the car seat,in my peripheral vision in the back,
and I knew exactly what that was for.
So I. That's how it happened.
I didn't know there wereother pageant systems.
I didn't know how that worked.
(17:57):
Like I had no idea.
All I knew was that I had an acquaintancewho had done a pageant the year
before, and she had posted about it,and so that I contacted her and said.
I need to do this.
Where do I sign up?
And she, you know, was like,well, you gotta wait a little bit.
Signups don't start until October.
This was probably like June, may, June.
(18:20):
And so.
And, um, you know, in themeantime, I was on the Mrs.
Utah America page just looking.
I had, I had probably emailed our directord and was like, Hey, I wanna sign up.
When do I get a start?
Like, I was like, pre ahead of game.
Like I, I felt, I felt like thiswas important and I needed to get
(18:40):
it done, but I didn't understandthat whole waiting period anyway.
So that's how I ended up here, wasjust the one seed, the one time.
In a suggestion by somebody passing bythat germinated for 10 years before, I
just knew that it was time for me to trythat that season in my life had come.
(19:05):
Right.
And um, I mean the rest is history.
Oh my goodness.
And this history inthe making still Right.
That journey.
Well, and you, you keepcoming back every year.
So the first year when you didn'twin, were you discouraged and like,
man?
Yeah, I was, but it was, everyyear has been different in
(19:27):
my growth and my experience.
I mean, the first year, of course, Iwas disappointed, but like I made second
runner up my very first pageant ever.
Nice.
So I was kind of like, well, I didn'twin, but like, that's pretty darn good.
Um, I didn't understandthe pageant let down.
(19:48):
So for any of your listeners, whenyou do a pageant, there's so much
ramping up to that event that whenit's over and everything is fizzling
out, there is kind of this heavy lull.
In energy, in capacity, in, I mean,we spend so much time together
and then suddenly it's like anentity that is dissolved and you're
(20:13):
kind of like these friendships.
If you haven't establishedfriendships, you kind of lose them.
Yeah.
In this support system and thisstructure and this, you know,
everything that you're working towardsis for this pinnacle pageant point.
Nobody ever taught me about that.
So post pageant one was.
The letdown was very big because Ididn't understand that and wasn't
(20:35):
prepared for that, but my thoughtswere like, Hey, I did really well.
My first one, let's try again.
Mm-hmm.
Also, within that first yearpost pageant, I recognized that
it was a really good thing.
I didn't win because I didn't knowwhat winning would require of me.
(20:56):
Uh, is was my exact thought.
When I.
I was, it was actually like I was sittingbackstage, like I knew I wasn't gonna win.
Have you seen those ladies?
I went in dear in the headlights idea.
No idea.
Knew what I was doing.
No idea.
I just, I was just kind of there tolike be there and to experience it all.
(21:21):
And I was like closing my eyesbecause, you know, I mentally
prepare and then I just like.
Black out, go on stage, come back.
You just gotta, thatis a real thing, right?
Yep.
But I, the crown felt heavy on myhead and I was like, I was like doing
(21:47):
mental whatever, and I was like,
it's not for me this year.
It's not time for me yet.
Um.
I found out later.
Is that peaceful for you?
Yeah.
Well and that was evenbefore I didn't win.
I was cheering and clappingfor like everything isn't,
(22:09):
there isn't something to be said abouthaving the knowledge that you're not
gonna win before you hope You learnthat because then when you go on
stage you recognize like, alright.
It's less who is, who am I going tobe and the person that I want to be
and show up for these other ladies?
Like you have that choice way before themoment of your name not being called.
(22:35):
Yeah.
Well, and I knew, like, I knew myname wasn't gonna, I. Get called
IBI knew I bombed my interview.
Like I was just KI didn'teven talk about my platform.
Like I was so nervous.
And afterwards, I actually,like, I'm friends with Robin now,
(22:58):
and she was one of our,and it's like, oh my gosh.
She was like, Mrs. Internationalsomething, something, something.
She's beautiful.
She has a clothing line and there'slike all these other connections that
you get to make and they're like.
They're good, beautiful,genuine people, and they like
actually wanna be my friends.
They're pretty, and they're niceand they're not spreading rumors
(23:18):
about me and trying to take me down.
They're like, we're all lifting each other
up every year of judges I've had, I'vebeen impressed with the majority of them.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
And follow them and still keepin touch with some of them.
One or two every year.
Well,
they're incredible.
They, they bring incredible people.
(23:39):
I was looking at, because Mrs.World is tonight, I'm coming
down to your watch party.
Are you down?
But I was busy yesterday getting thenot sparkly crowns put in my face.
Oh,
I have those too.
Yeah, I just got two done yesterday.
(23:59):
And it just took forever.
And I was like, I'm gonna fly down.
I wanna go down and see Jamie.
And my husband's like, are yougonna leave me here with this zoo?
And I was like, I'll just go down andthen watch the pageant and then come back.
And he's just looking at me.
He's like, you're nuts.
Well, it will be fun.
It's super casual tonight.
(24:20):
So, but like
all of these women thatare involved, that.
At least that I know personallyare just, they're so incredible
and every year they're just,
you have to say that becauseI've done it so much.
I recognize that this is not the only way.
(24:42):
There are so many other thingsthat you can get involved in, and
I think that's what the pageant hasreally opened up to me is like your
life, how we serve our purpose.
Our platform is not solidly onlycontained in here and we have to be
(25:04):
careful of that because, you know, thefirst year, that's how it felt to me.
Like, this is the only wayI'm gonna get this word out.
And the only option for me if Idon't win, like then I'm doomed.
But I have recognized between year twoand three and now three and four, how.
(25:25):
This is just my choice, but in allreality, my platform can be spread
by so many other organizationsor opportunities like it.
It just doesn't stop with this,
um, as.
Because your, your platformis build it beautiful, right?
(25:45):
Beautiful.
Yes.
Has it changed?
What was it before?
Yeah, so my first two years it was aboutwomen's hormones and women's health.
I was a health coach forwomen and their hormones.
I taught them how to eat and exerciseand give education on women's hormones.
Um, I was a health coach for 10 years.
(26:08):
I just barely got testosteroneand estrogen implanted in my butt.
I had a total hysterectomy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Then normal doctors don't.
Yeah.
We could talk for hours about this.
Oh yeah.
But like women, I still,
I still am a really big proponent of that,but, well, my life between year, between
(26:32):
these two years, my life really changed.
Um, you know.
Yeah, I was, I was going througha lot of health problems, um, for,
because of lack of hormones, but Ialso was diagnosed with celiac disease.
I closed my decade old health coachingbusiness because my husband and I are
(26:56):
both very big entrepreneurs and we weregrowing our businesses and doing this.
Oh.
And so I shifted.
And sacrificed to save my marriage.
Yeah.
Um, so that happened.
I was experiencing physical problems.
So I actually, um, I was teaching classesevery day, uh, fitness classes every day.
(27:21):
And I only went down to likeone a week 'cause I was so.
Sick and experiencingsuch bad pain in my body.
Um, I had lots of friendship changesbecause I was closing my business
because I was leaving my studios,um, and going through, you know,
my, my kids were becoming teenagers.
Like that in and of itselfis a huge life change.
(27:43):
And, um, so a lot happenedbetween year two and three.
And to be honest, I probably shouldnot have been in the pageant last year.
Um, be after year two.
I felt like somebody put everythingI had built on one end of a
(28:05):
teeter-totter and then hammeredthe other side and it just flew.
Nothing, nothing had started landing yet.
When I was going through last year.
It was a really, reallypageant year for me.
So sorry to hear that I was mentallynot healthy, physically not healthy,
(28:26):
um, really struggling with who I was.
What I had to offer because youknow what I had had to offer.
I had been built for 10 yearsin these very strong years of
pageant and then just felt likeI had nothing last year to offer.
You
were anymore
kinda, which I wouldprobably suggest to you.
(28:49):
You probably didn't see that.
I had no idea.
Just the same way that we're reallygood at hiding what we're going through.
You're so good at masking.
We are.
Especially when we're in, whenwe're in pain or we need help,
we don't want other people toknow that we're having a problem.
Yeah.
(29:10):
I think that.
Especially when you're goingthrough long term things.
Like I could be like, Hey, I havecovid, and then 10 days later
I'm like, I want it, you know?
I conquered it.
Yeah.
But like when we're going through longterm slogging through the trenches.
Of humanity.
(29:31):
We don't want to admit ashumans that we are weak.
And I think that goes back to survivalof the fittest like it is in our
nature to not talk about those things.
Um, I actually have reallynot talked about it very much.
And I hope that, and I'm thankful forthis opportunity because I kind of get
(29:52):
to like just stick my toe in a littlebit to see where I'm at about sharing,
uh, because it has been extremely hard.
But I finally feel like there are some,some building blocks that are starting
to, to, I feel this positive upwardmomentum of built building in this
(30:15):
new way, which is really interestingbecause I had my pageant platform of
build it beautiful before I was evenseeing the results of my own build.
Again, 'cause somebody camein and knocked it all down.
Right?
A lot of renovation
was going on.
I feel like I'm still kindof going through that.
(30:39):
Um, yeah, there's a lot,there's a lot that I,
I've just tried to figureout what I even want.
Like I quit teaching, Ibe a teacher, but, um.
Part of it is because my dad had almostpassed away in April, and I knew that
(31:00):
he was, I knew it was gonna happenand that was gonna hit me hard, and
my mom had passed at the beginning ofthe school year, and I just realized
after losing both parents, um.
(31:22):
The what I'm leavingbehind now, what, sorry.
What I am leaving behind are thememories I'm making with them right now.
So what memories am I wantingto leave behind for my kids?
Or is my dad would say like, whatlegacy are you leaving behind?
(31:45):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And teaching was stressful.
The shingles.
Oh yeah.
Your outward, the outward manifestationof all your inward and my degrees.
Like that's the, I just hung those up.
(32:06):
One of those, two of those.
Hold on.
Wait,
2014.
10 years.
It took me 10 years to hang up my degrees.
Like I just, you don't,
I kind of didn't feel like I couldbe all braggy about it and be
(32:26):
like, look what I did, you know?
Which I feel like going throughpageantry, but I think it happens
in our careers too, and little bits.
But I feel like pageantry is likethis catalyst to exponentially make
us look at our personal barriers.
Yes.
(32:47):
And get the heck over them for real.
Like, like.
I just in that way of like, wait, I canbe proud of what I have accomplished
and what I have gone through and, and Ican tell people what I have accomplished
(33:08):
without looking like I'm bragging.
It is because I can now.
Confidently say like, I havesomething to contribute to you
because of what I've been through.
My mess qualifies me to sharewith you and to serve you.
(33:32):
Yeah.
Well, and it's like we'reall so relatable, right?
And we forget like.
These people have these incrediblelives and we, we see all their highlight
reels and we, like with me, peoplekept talking about how resilient I am.
(33:52):
You're so resilient.
You're so resilient.
You're so resilient.
Well, I went through crap.
You're forgetting all thecrap that I had to go through.
Like being resilient means youhad to go through hard stuff like
Yeah.
Yeah.
It qualified you, it gaveyou that characteristic.
(34:13):
Yeah.
But then where was my support?
Like, I still need
support just because I went through ahard time and I am resilient, doesn't
mean I'm a hundred percent okay now.
Right, right.
But I also, well, we still,we still need community.
We still need connection.
It doesn't
mean that, um.
(34:38):
It also doesn't mean that Ican't hold space for you and
be there for your hard stuff.
Yeah.
And depending on, depending on where yourcapacity is, that also looks different
per circumstances and per person too.
Right?
(34:59):
Well, and I think.
Sometimes people get, um,
like with the pageant,
I'm just kind of noticing from likean outside perspective a little
bit, kind of an outside perspective.
I don't know.
Um, just 'cause I've done it beforeand now there's some new people
(35:23):
that I'm watching go through it and.
It's like, what is the focuson, like what are they?
Are they worried about the clothes or arethey worried about the hair and makeup?
Are they trying to push too hard?
Are they showing up as themselves?
(35:44):
Like are you going over the topand stressing yourself out and
showing up for things that youdon't need to be showing up for?
Because.
You feel obligated or are you doing itbecause it's part of your purpose, right?
You don't have to go out of your way.
And I think that's kind ofhard for some of them to see.
You don't have to like go out ofyour way and do some big huge,
(36:08):
um, fundraising event or whatever.
Like, you don't have to do that ifyou're just doing it for the pageant.
Like, everything I'm doing now is, um.
You wanna continue?
It's what I wanna
continue doing and it kindof helps me figure that out.
'cause Whoopsies, I did that backwards.
(36:29):
My, I'm not teaching anymore, but I havea master's in curriculum and instruction.
So what the heck am I gonna do now?
I am gonna work with nonprofitsand do public speaking and I don't
know, whatever the heck happened.
Yeah.
But even if you have that master'sdegree in that, at that time of your
(36:50):
life, that's where you needed to be.
Yeah.
There are some people who don't ever evenuse the degree that they were given and
their life takes 'em on this journey.
We have to be so careful.
We don't stick ourselves to inside thisbox of this is who I am and this is
only who I am and this is where I'll be.
(37:12):
Yeah.
It's not in the box.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think, I think that I would hope,and this is where the pageantry
gets a little bit sketchy, right?
And this is why you can't rely onthe pageant to dictate your worth
because you go into some year, sotwo years, I've had five judges.
(37:38):
In the middle year I had seven.
Oh, there were seven judges that year.
So many interviews, it was a lot.
But if you go into these judges,I get three minutes to tell them
who I am and what I'm about.
Right.
And you're up against
(37:59):
however many women,
right?
If those judges don't see.
Those who are genuineversus those who are not.
If they don't have the talentto decipher between genuine
talent or not genuine talent.
'cause who knows who the judges are.
We don't get to choose them.
(38:19):
They're just picked.
We don't So like Right.
And they shouldn't know us either.
Yeah.
But if they can't pick that out andthey pick somebody who is underdeveloped
and not ready for that, and.
That's on the judges.
So there's, there's a saying in pageantry,which you've heard from our directors.
Different day, differentjudge, different girl.
(38:41):
Yep.
And it truly is that.
So if you're only doing thingsto make the pageant look good, or
your pageant run look good, butthat's not really who you are.
You are going to, that person is goingto have a really rough time coming off
that pageant if they don't win real.
And I believe that if they dowin, they're gonna have a really
(39:04):
hard time continuing to push thata hundred percent consistently.
Because as humans, we just cannot runat a hundred percent all the time.
We can't.
We need, it's this,
right?
It's just, there's ebbs and flows, andif we're always showing up as perfect,
we're gonna really have a rough timeshowing up as perfect all the time.
(39:28):
That's how I ended upwith shingles in my face.
Mm-hmm.
'cause I was doing too much and itwas because of like, that I needed
to show, I needed to prove myself, Ineeded to show I could handle all the
things and I could juggle everything.
Yeah.
Well, and, and we feel pressured todo that, whether that's something
we're conscious of or not.
(39:51):
I think women specificallyfeel pressured because.
Via our social media, or even just inconversations with people around us, we
see women pushing that limit and we thinkthat that is actually what is normal.
In all reality, that'snot necessarily healthy.
Just because we see that doesn't mean, Imean, just like you, you were pushing for
(40:14):
that perfection, but then your body wasshowing that like, uh, hey, step back.
And for me, I was pushing forperfection and then my body had to
renovate my life, had to renovate'cause I couldn't keep it up.
Sometimes it's okay to
just knock everything down and start over.
(40:35):
You have to have that, likethe solid, solid foundation.
The solid shelf where everything'sjust gonna, and we have had, I don't
remember what title holders it was, butthere are a couple misses just recently
that miss, I think that just steppeddown because their values didn't align
(40:56):
with a pageant system or whatever.
Yeah, we've seen that.
Yeah.
But like.
This journey should be helpingyou catapult your life and
what you're already doing.
And you shouldn't be like, Iwanna win the crown, so I'm gonna
do this, this, this, and this.
And thank goodness we don't see that.
(41:19):
Often in
ours, like our little, yeah, our, ourdirectors aren't pushing for a winner.
They're pushing to develop women,and I love that there are other
states that they push for winners.
Yeah.
Well, and I love the community that we've
created because we wanna get togetherevery month and the whole time I
(41:39):
was like, that crown was too heavy.
I knew it wasn't gonna fit on my head.
I knew it wasn't for me.
I was up on that stage and you thatyour ass, I was applauding like hell
for every single person that wasgetting because they worked, they worked
hard and it really is a celebrationof how incredible Yeah, women are.
(42:03):
Well, I have always told people,and going through this system
myself, multiple years, I've toldpeople like what you see on stage
is maybe 5% of what they have done.
Yeah, and we is the contestants.
Know the 90 per 90, 95% of whatother contestants have done and watch
(42:27):
them grow and change and develop.
And I know there's a couple contestantsthis year that I'm enjoying watching
their first time, like all the, the messyunderstanding and the lingo and the, the,
you know, the butt glue and the boob tape.
That make a difference inyour, in, in how you show up.
(42:48):
Just little things like that.
And I love watching like the lightbulbs start to turn on, but like in that
system, when we're on that stage andthey're in and they, they bring everybody
out and they're, they're announcingthe winners, like of the costume and
the winners of Miss Congeniality andthe winner of the best interview.
Like only those women on thatstage and maybe key members
(43:11):
of people's families know.
The refining that, that that lady hasgone through for the past eight months
to make it to that stage alone, right?
Yeah.
So we have, we have to validate each otherby being each other's supporters that
way, because if it was only for the crown,we'd all stand up there and like poke
(43:36):
our hip out and put our hands on our hipsand just fold our arms and puff and puff.
But like.
I think we're validating the, yes,we're validating that journey of
those women by showing up for them,even though we know that Crown is not
going to be on our head that night.
Yeah.
Well, and I was so lost last yearwith what to write 'cause I had to
(43:58):
write what they were gonna talk aboutwhile I'm walking around on the stage
and I'm like, I dunno what to say.
Yeah, it's never been myfavorite to talk about myself.
Way,
but it's like, what do Iwant people to know about me?
It's just kind of mm-hmm.
It's less intimidating and Right whenit was over Amanda Brady, well, I think
everyone was worried that I was gonnahave like that big pageant let down.
(44:19):
I didn't, I, I had, I waslike, Ugh, I'm so tired.
I just felt like I had a hangover.
But emotionally, I was like, I grabbedAmanda Brady, she's like one of
the former winners, or she grabbedme, I grabbed her, she grabbed me,
one of the two, and I was like.
I wanna quit my job and do this again.
And she was like, slow down.
(44:40):
But I did.
But not because, notbecause of the pageant.
Because the pageant helped me realizethat the direction my life was going is
not the direction that I was meant to go.
I, there's like a magnetthat's pulling me and I just.
(45:01):
I follow whatever that pole is.
So now, because I've been able todo the peja, I have some really cool
opportunities, um, and I've been ableto heal and really figure out like,
what, what the heck I'm doing right.
I love that.
And you know what, in fouryears, five years, that might
(45:23):
not be the right pull anymore.
You know, like we, we, we draw intothese opportunities and there it
really is just a winding journey.
I. This is not the end all be all for me.
Even like, and that comes full circle,like there's so much more outside of
this that if this doesn't happen, I'mjust thankful I was able to be part of
(45:47):
it to, to give me the next opportunity.
Yeah, I'm thankful 'cause I've had,
because of my sash, I'vebeen able to meet some really
incredible people and make some.
Connections and we need thatthere power in that sash.
Yeah.
And we need that village.
(46:08):
We need that community.
So I think it's helping, it'skind of helping women catapult.
It's like that, what is it?
It's kind of like aMLM, but it not really.
For good
things.
Incredible.
How we are pulling like-mindedwomen to be together.
(46:30):
Yes.
It, it is, it is.
There is something to be said about youbecome like the people you hang around.
Mm-hmm.
And you know, I, I talked a little bitwith you here about how my life upended.
Well, deciding if I wanted to do thepageant this year, this was my decision
because things had changed so muchand because I was now lacking a tribe,
(46:52):
because I lost my, my students andmy studios and, and my clients who
be, you know, were becoming friends.
I made the decision to do the pageantthis year because I knew that if I
wanted to be successful, I needed to bearound women who wanted to be successful,
and this was where I decided to go.
Yeah.
(47:13):
Well, and now, because you're notdoing your classes anymore, is
this where you started with BYU
doing mentoring?
Yeah.
No, I think I would've done that anyway.
Um, it, it, it, BYU mentoring didnot come out of my sash at all,
(47:35):
um, which is really interesting.
But it has stemmed some opportunities whenpeople look at my profile to then further.
Engage with me.
So it has led to opportunities, but,um, I, I was telling you before we
started recording, so maybe I'll,I'll explain this a little bit.
I mentor BYU students in, they can contactme through the, it's called BYU Connect,
(48:00):
any BYU student in any of the locations.
So Idaho, Hawaii, um, enzyme Collegein Salt Lake, and then, uh, BYU
Provo, anybody who is a student.
Or is an alumni, they have thisnetworking program and um, I signed
up for that and was probably oneof the first 50 users of that.
(48:22):
And students contact me andI get to give them advice.
Uh, they see I've ownedmultiple businesses.
They see I was in the businessschool, but also that I do dance.
And then, you know, they see myprofile picture with my sash.
And that has led to, like Isaid, other opportunities, but.
When this opportunity to be a mentorcame up, all I could think about
(48:47):
was how much I could have useda mentor when I was 18 years old
and 19 years old and 20 years old.
You know, the five years I was in college,even when I was married and still in
college, I could have used a mentor to saylike, Hey, I've been where you've been.
I'm 10 to 15 years out of school and.
(49:08):
These are the things Iwould've done different.
Yeah.
Or these are the things I would've takenadvantage of, or these are the things
I wouldn't have worried about so much.
Yeah.
And um, and so I get to do that.
I actually met with a student who isdoing, um, online studies through BYU.
(49:28):
It's called BYU Pathways,and he was in Zimbabwe.
What,
this was just last week.
Yeah, so, okay.
I met a student from Zimbabwe whois trying to get any sort of smaller
degree so that he can open his owncoding company from Zimbabwe to be
(49:49):
able to support a future family.
He was in a cafe paying for internetby the hour to be able to meet with
other BYU alumni to learn from themwhat their experiences have been.
So I feel, I, I feel this pull thatno matter what I learn in life,
(50:14):
I have a responsibility to sharewhat I learn with other people.
To better their lives because I didn'thave that myself, and I've always felt
that way when it came to my health.
I'll share anything about hormonesand women's health because I
went through my own trials.
I'll share anything about businessbecause man, I wish somebody would've
told me how to start a business insteadof me having to figure it out on my own.
(50:38):
Like all of the things thatI have learned on my own, you
know, we have a responsibility ashumans to help somebody else out.
I'm gonna tell you something crazy.
My dad used to work at BYU,that's where he retired.
He went to school there for a long time.
(51:00):
Um, he graduated with his MBAand then he went and did like
other business things, right?
Mm-hmm.
Um, but he retired fromBYU and his job was.
A recruiter for graduating MBAs.
Awesome.
So he like would travel around the worldand connect businesses with students with
(51:24):
the MBA
program.
Yeah,
and he would, his favorite thingwas doing retreats, but like.
Rafting, whitewater raftingand hiking and stuff.
Venture retreats.
Yeah.
There is something to be said aboutdoing something hard in nature that,
uh, patterns, it's, it patterns usfor better resilience in the business
(51:49):
world, in our normal everyday lives.
Right.
Real.
That's really cool.
Amanda.
I, um.
I think that the MBA programsare really incredible.
My husband went through theexecutive MBA program, um, where
you still, you're, you're, you'renot looking to land a big job.
(52:09):
You have a job already and havebeen in that job for a time.
And then, you know, you gothrough this MBA program to help
you be better in your position.
And, um.
It was the most incredibleexperience to watch.
It was kind of like what we do inpageantry, that self-growth and self, um,
(52:30):
change within that was incredible for myhusband to go through and us as a family.
So
it's amazing.
Yeah, they have a reallyincredible program there.
I just, I didn't realize how, what hedid, 'cause I got to write some of his.
Life sketch, that's what it was called.
(52:50):
Me and my three sisters all stood upthere and did, talked about different
parts of his life and I got totalk about his business, whatever.
But I knew him as thescary guy in the office.
You know,
he was always in his den and he wasalways working and I didn't wanna
bother him, but like when he got olderand like I was out of the house and.
(53:17):
All kinds of things.
He was able to really be my dad again,you know, and like show up how he
wanted to, which was really cool.
Yeah.
The legacy.
Yeah, I think, I think that there'sso much more to our parents than
we realize until they're goneand we discover the sides of them
(53:37):
that in our innocence we missed.
Yeah.
In our own needs or in our ownperspective, we missed of them.
When my mother's parents passed away,she found this beautiful file full of all
the love letters that they had writtenback and forth to each other, and she
(53:59):
said it really opened my eyes to therelationship that I didn't get to see.
That's what she said.
You know, like I didn't know.
I didn't know that they were thatinvested romantically with each
other because I didn't see that.
Right.
And so I think about what are my kidsgoing to discover of me, you know?
(54:20):
Yeah.
When, when I'm gone that they go, oh,there's more to this person than just mom.
Right.
Um.
I'm gonna get ready to wrap up withyou so you can get Yes, this is great.
Yeah.
But two things.
Um, I've been able to go through mymom's things and I'm the youngest of
(54:45):
seven kids and my parents divorcedafter being married for 40 years.
So by the time I was around, they were notlovey-dovey on each other, like at all.
I found their wedding album and like.
When you're miserable, you'renot gonna pull out those pictures
and look at them with your kids.
(55:06):
Right.
I had never seen them happy.
Wow.
I had never seen them likeloving and kissing on each
other or holding each other.
He was like carrying her in a little.
And so it was just kind of niceto like know that they really did.
They really did care about each other.
I also found out my last thing, um.
(55:30):
My mom did pageants a little bit.
That's so cool.
I think that was
her helping me heal.
Mm-hmm.
Ooh, okay.
Just a moment.
My cleaners are here.
That's great.
Well, this is a good time.
Tell us where we can need you.
(55:53):
Okay.
So you can find me at, um, on Instagram.
I have a build it Beautiful.
Instagram, but I also have Mrs. ClarissaThomas, and there's dots between
each word and both of those handles.
And I'll send this to you and youcan put it in your show notes.
Um, you can find mypodcast@builditbeautiful.com and anything
(56:15):
about me, we didn't get a talk aboutlike my recipe book, but my girls and
I put together a recipe book this pastyear and you can find that on, you
can order it on our site or on Amazon.
Um, they have a Kindle version on Amazon.
That's so cool.
Maybe because I'm gonna berecording with you soon, maybe we
can talk about that a little bit.
Tiny bit on your podcastor just come back.
(56:38):
Sounds lovely.
It was a cute little project for me.
And other than that, like I'm, I'm very,I mean, you can find me on Facebook,
you can find me really anywhere.
I'm happy to, I'm happy to shareand be that mentor that people need.
But also you're, you're goingto find things that are going
to be uplifting, things that aregoing to be business oriented.
(56:59):
And I'm, I try and just be superreal, um, with what I post and what
I share and showing all sides ofhumanity versus just a perfect side.
Well, we don't need tosee just the highlight.
Let's be real.
Absolutely.
Thank you so much for having meon and chatting with me and, um,
(57:24):
providing a space where we can connect.
I love that.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Okay.
Yeah.
Welcome.
To the inner workings ofthe not so genius mind.
I'm Amanda McCombs, the not so genius.
You're Mrs. Daybreak and Ihave with me Mrs. Utah County.
Oh my gosh.
I'm looking at all of your sashes.
Look at you.
Oh, my lot of work.
(00:25):
Beautiful.
Holy smokes with your headshot up above.
Anyway, she is my sash sister.
I'm introducing you.
My sash sister in the businessof people running a family
business with her husband, man.
And was it you that wrote.
That cookbook with your daughters?
(00:47):
Yes.
We'll talk about that more.
And she's a mom of three amazing girls.
We were just talkingabout your youngest is 10.
Yeah.
Ballroom and hip hop dance fanatic.
Like you like to dance them.
Yeah, and I teach them help.
Help a girl out, please.
(01:11):
The last one you said,you're my biggest fan.
I love you so much, Clarissa.
So happy to,
so, so happy to be here with you.
I mean already, Amanda, your journey from,it's been what we've known each other
(01:32):
for a little over a year and a half, andlike your journey has been inspiring and
very, very visual to me that there isproof people can change and proof that.
What we go through can either destroyus or refine us and make us stronger and
better like you are living proof of that.
(01:54):
Yeah.
I think
you probably met me when I wasat one of my lowest of lows
because, um, Jess.
Is the one that invited me todo the pageant and she had no
idea what I was going through.
(02:14):
Like nobody did.
I was really good at hiding itlike a lot of us are, right?
Yeah.
Serious, real.
Um, but we just had that workshop.
When was it?
Uh, it wasn't even a workshop.
It was the favorite thanksChristmas party, I think.
And you left me that messageand afterwards I was like.
(02:37):
Nobody has ever talked to me like that.
I've never had a community of women whereI've just felt like I could be safe.
Right.
So like, we're, we're like, not, we'retwo, two minutes in and I'm crying.
Um, you're just, you'reso incredible to me.
(03:00):
And you've just been an amazing exampleand I've never, the whole time I've been.
Doing this pageant thing likethis is my second year and now
I'm looking, is it your fourth?
It's my fourth.
And so like people are, peopleare so surprised that women keep
(03:20):
coming back, but we keep coming backbecause of the relationships we have.
We come back because of the sisterhoodand because it helps lift each other up.
Yeah, I, I know of no otherorganization that I have been aware of.
(03:42):
I mean, I'm sure there are thingslike this in other sectors, but like
you will never find women who areworking on themselves, working in the
community to make it better and cheeringeach other on within that realm.
Yeah.
Right.
It's never
been me against you.
(04:02):
It's like, wow.
Look at how amazing you are.
Look at how amazing you are.
What can I do to help you?
Um, we're sharing dresses, wardrobe,whatever, um, tips and tricks.
Like, nothing's a secret.
We're not keeping anything hidden.
It's not, we're helping each other.
Like it's a true visionof empowerment, right?
(04:25):
Yeah.
You know, and that's not,it's not the April 25th stuff.
Right.
But to a certain extent, it kind of is.
You have to extrapolate thatout because it is, mm-hmm.
That is what we want, but werecognize that it has to be done.
(04:46):
Uh, through little pieces, not, notthe full spectrum of world peace, but
like each individual woman recognizesthat that's what she wants overall.
Yeah.
But her portion is her purpose inthat period of time, in that small
bubble that she has influence over.
Yeah.
Well, and we, every single womanI've met in this pageant, they
(05:09):
all just have incredible stories.
To share and they'reall driven to do good.
Whatever good it is.
And I think some of us, some ofus, like last year I was like, oh
my gosh, deer in the headlights.
I didn't realize what I had reallysigned up for until like it's over.
(05:30):
It was over.
And then I was, and thenI was like, oh my gosh.
It goes on to Mrs. America.
You make prizes.
I didn't even thinkabout winning anything.
Like my thought goinginto it was not winning.
It was, what the heck is this?
(05:51):
Yeah.
And long for the ride and it was healing.
We need that.
I agree to that.
Yeah.
And I talked, I was talking withsomebody El a friend yesterday.
I got invited to Zumba.
And I was like, yeah,sure, I'll go to Zumba.
I haven't done it in years.
And then she was like,oh, it's at a church.
And I was like, 'causeI don't go to church.
(06:14):
Right.
Um, I have a very strenuous relationshipwith like church buildings and very
worried that I walk in and they're gonnalike burst into flames because of me.
Um, but I went in and everyonewas so like welcoming.
I cried to her afterwards becausewe, we've lost our villages.
(06:39):
I think that's one of
the reasons why I teach hiphop, because that is community.
Yeah.
When we, and, and I have ladies who can'teven speak English, who come into my
class, and it truly is that dance is this.
This universal language that empowersus because we are mastering control
(07:03):
over this individual that we have.
We have to practice lettinggo in order to fully feel the
music and feel those moves and.
I have to laugh because I teach,one of my classes is actually at
a church, but it's free and it'scommunity and anybody can come.
That's just the medium inwhich we're able to do that.
(07:25):
But you'll never find a, a moreamazing group of ladies, right, than
those who go to that community tomake friends and to welcome others.
Well,
I walked
in and I was a littleworried just 'cause, um.
I have a hard time.
Sorry, I'm gonna cry again.
(07:46):
You're good.
You're good, Amanda.
I have a hard time knowing
if somebody genuinely wantsto be my friend because yeah.
I've been so hurt in the past.
I've had people that have totally betrayedme and pretended to be my friend and.
(08:10):
I was alone for a long time.
I didn't have a sisterhood.
And when I moved into my new community, itwas during Covid, like right before Covid.
It was 2019.
And that's hard happened.
And it's hard for me to makefriends 'cause people are scary.
(08:31):
And I don't know if I'm like actuallyfor real being invited or they
really want me being there becauseI've been told I'm too much or.
Whatever.
Right, right.
So you come up against the barrierof, will I be accepted for who I am?
And I kind of, this pageant kind of,
(08:54):
and I think I, I, when Isaid it to you is how I was
kind of figuring out how to say it right?
'cause I was so broken.
All your broken and shattered piecesare all over the floor, right?
And then super quiet.
I love it.
(09:16):
No back.
Not that
all your broken pieces are all over thefloor, and you have to even figure out
what they mean and if you even want thembefore you can put 'em back together.
And I like, I didn't, I didn't even know.
What my favorite food was.
(09:37):
I'm like trying to think of ques,like the different questions
and like just basic things.
Tell me about yourself.
That's like one of the first pageantquestions that they ask you when you
interview and it, and you only have somuch time and you can't just be like it.
Like you have to know who you are andyou have to be like, this is who I am
(10:00):
and it's okay if people don't like me.
And this pageant like taught methat I could, like, it grounded me
so that I'm like more aligned withmy own purpose and I'm not thinking
about what everybody else thinksabout me, because that's exhausting.
(10:20):
We can't do that because all,all of this isn't for them.
It's for me.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think that, um, what Ihave noticed, because it's been
multiple years for me, is to chooseto accept the new me every time.
(10:41):
Yeah.
Because each one of these years I can lookback and things have been so different.
And so if I, if I was stillthe person from the first year,
uh, there would be issues.
Yeah.
Right.
And I think you recognize that now.
I mean, when I saw you at that party,at the favorite things party, it had
(11:03):
been what, like six or seven monthssince we had seen each other in person.
And you know, I texted you and I was like,look, you are, you are totally different.
Still the same, but like there wassomething so different about you, so
peaceful, so grounded, so open, secure.
(11:24):
I think that would be aword that I would use.
Just very self secure.
And you know, if you were still whatyou were the first time you signed
up for your first pageant lastyear, like then the patent system
or life wouldn't be doing its job.
Yeah.
(11:44):
Yeah.
I wasn't even eating, I was so depressed.
It was right after my mom.
Yeah.
Yeah, like a coupleweeks after her funeral.
Yeah.
And I was like, no way me do abeauty pageant weirdo, Jess is crazy.
(12:09):
Why would I do a beauty pageant?
And that's insane.
And then I started likereally thinking about it and
was like, sure, why not?
I think there was onlyone person that was like.
Are you nuts?
But I just like, I didn't know I, Ineeded a community and I needed, Jess
(12:35):
believed in me for some weird reason.
Right.
Hold on.
No,
um.
I just saw her dancing ina pretty dress on Facebook.
I wanted to see what it was aboutand it healed me and I met amazing,
(12:59):
like you just have always beenvery self-assured and well-spoken.
And I was so shy because I was so worriedabout what everybody thought about me.
So then when people like you are like,I wanna be your friend, I'm like.
(13:20):
Yeah, it really requires, it requiresyou to look at the boundaries that
you placed on yourself for protection.
Yeah.
And learning to like let those go.
So that you can be that genuine self.
Because what I have noticedis that this pageant system
like requires a genuine self.
(13:41):
Yeah.
You cannot be in itjust to like be pretty.
Yeah.
Well, and, and I don't know about othersystems, but from what I have seen
of other systems, you could maybe getaway with not being your genuine self.
Yeah.
But how?
But how the directors of the Mrs.Utah pageant work, I mean, I haven't
(14:04):
been to nationals, so that's somethingso different or worlds or whatever,
but like our directors of thispageant pull that genuine self out.
We well, and
I love that we can get together andthat we have our community, that we
(14:25):
can be chatting and we can be helpingeach other and motivating each other.
Because there's never been, I'venever felt undercut, and I've never
seen anybody undercut anybody else.
It is the most genuine groupof amazing women I've ever met.
So now I wanna back up becauselet's go back to year one.
(14:46):
What made you try not, howdid this journey even be?
Oh, man.
Let's see, my middle daughteris 13 years old when she was
still an infant in her car seat.
We, my husband and I, so I hadone older daughter and then her.
Mm-hmm.
And we were up in Ogden.
(15:06):
We had just moved up to Ogden,um, bought our first home and we
were driving down Main Street inOgden and we passed the theater.
I think it's called the Egyptian Theater.
That's up in Ogden.
Oh yeah.
He, it said, Mrs. Utah, you know, Junesomething I, I, that's all I can remember.
(15:26):
And I have that visual in my head.
And my husband, he looked at me andhe is like, you should do those.
You should do one of those sometime.
And I was like, yeah, right.
Like, okay.
And you know, that's you.
Yeah.
I had kind of thoughtabout my teenage years and.
(15:47):
Uh, just not quite getting the parentalsupport for doing anything like that.
Um, I think I, I love my parents.
I have such a great relationship withthem, but they only knew what they
only knew and they were trying todo their best, and that was just not
something that was in their vision ofwhat they wanted out of their daughter.
(16:10):
Let's just put it.
And I respect that.
And I know that my girls are probablygonna have the same feelings about me
when they're, you know, 29, 28, 29, andthey're probably gonna look back and
be like, ah, mom, you know, but I'll belike, look, at that time, at that period,
these were the decisions that we had made.
(16:31):
I. And that's, that's great.
In parenting, it's all about forgiveness.
I, I tell you, it's all about forgiveness,but so I had thought, so I had wanted to
do that as a teenager and as a young girl.
I mean, I watched pageants growing up.
I watched Miss America and Miss USAwhen they were on tv and, you know, I,
I just love all of that, the dressesand the glam, and didn't really
(16:53):
know anything about the backend.
Well, fast forward to 2021.
Oh, and I had just finished teaching,so it had been 10 years since that
conversation that my husband justplanted that seed of like, you
(17:14):
should do one of those someday.
Like very casual.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I had just finished teaching a hiphop class and I had gone to my car
and I was posting about my class and Idistinctly heard the words in my head.
It's time, it's time.
And I knew exactly what that was.
(17:36):
I knew I had that flash of thatmarquee and my husband holding my
hand in that car, in the car seat,in my peripheral vision in the back,
and I knew exactly what that was for.
So I. That's how it happened.
I didn't know there wereother pageant systems.
I didn't know how that worked.
(17:57):
Like I had no idea.
All I knew was that I had an acquaintancewho had done a pageant the year
before, and she had posted about it,and so that I contacted her and said.
I need to do this.
Where do I sign up?
And she, you know, was like,well, you gotta wait a little bit.
Signups don't start until October.
This was probably like June, may, June.
(18:20):
And so.
And, um, you know, in themeantime, I was on the Mrs.
Utah America page just looking.
I had, I had probably emailed our directord and was like, Hey, I wanna sign up.
When do I get a start?
Like, I was like, pre ahead of game.
Like I, I felt, I felt like thiswas important and I needed to get
(18:40):
it done, but I didn't understandthat whole waiting period anyway.
So that's how I ended up here, wasjust the one seed, the one time.
In a suggestion by somebody passing bythat germinated for 10 years before, I
just knew that it was time for me to trythat that season in my life had come.
(19:05):
Right.
And um, I mean the rest is history.
Oh my goodness.
And this history inthe making still Right.
That journey.
Well, and you, you keepcoming back every year.
So the first year when you didn'twin, were you discouraged and like,
man?
Yeah, I was, but it was, everyyear has been different in
(19:27):
my growth and my experience.
I mean, the first year, of course, Iwas disappointed, but like I made second
runner up my very first pageant ever.
Nice.
So I was kind of like, well, I didn'twin, but like, that's pretty darn good.
Um, I didn't understandthe pageant let down.
(19:48):
So for any of your listeners, whenyou do a pageant, there's so much
ramping up to that event that whenit's over and everything is fizzling
out, there is kind of this heavy lull.
In energy, in capacity, in, I mean,we spend so much time together
and then suddenly it's like anentity that is dissolved and you're
(20:13):
kind of like these friendships.
If you haven't establishedfriendships, you kind of lose them.
Yeah.
In this support system and thisstructure and this, you know,
everything that you're working towardsis for this pinnacle pageant point.
Nobody ever taught me about that.
So post pageant one was.
The letdown was very big because Ididn't understand that and wasn't
(20:35):
prepared for that, but my thoughtswere like, Hey, I did really well.
My first one, let's try again.
Mm-hmm.
Also, within that first yearpost pageant, I recognized that
it was a really good thing.
I didn't win because I didn't knowwhat winning would require of me.
(20:56):
Uh, is was my exact thought.
When I.
I was, it was actually like I was sittingbackstage, like I knew I wasn't gonna win.
Have you seen those ladies?
I went in dear in the headlights idea.
No idea.
Knew what I was doing.
No idea.
I just, I was just kind of there tolike be there and to experience it all.
(21:21):
And I was like closing my eyesbecause, you know, I mentally
prepare and then I just like.
Black out, go on stage, come back.
You just gotta, thatis a real thing, right?
Yep.
But I, the crown felt heavy on myhead and I was like, I was like doing
(21:47):
mental whatever, and I was like,
it's not for me this year.
It's not time for me yet.
Um.
I found out later.
Is that peaceful for you?
Yeah.
Well and that was evenbefore I didn't win.
I was cheering and clappingfor like everything isn't,
(22:09):
there isn't something to be said abouthaving the knowledge that you're not
gonna win before you hope You learnthat because then when you go on
stage you recognize like, alright.
It's less who is, who am I going tobe and the person that I want to be
and show up for these other ladies?
Like you have that choice way before themoment of your name not being called.
(22:35):
Yeah.
Well, and I knew, like, I knew myname wasn't gonna, I. Get called
IBI knew I bombed my interview.
Like I was just KI didn'teven talk about my platform.
Like I was so nervous.
And afterwards, I actually,like, I'm friends with Robin now,
(22:58):
and she was one of our,and it's like, oh my gosh.
She was like, Mrs. Internationalsomething, something, something.
She's beautiful.
She has a clothing line and there'slike all these other connections that
you get to make and they're like.
They're good, beautiful,genuine people, and they like
actually wanna be my friends.
They're pretty, and they're niceand they're not spreading rumors
(23:18):
about me and trying to take me down.
They're like, we're all lifting each other
up every year of judges I've had, I'vebeen impressed with the majority of them.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
And follow them and still keepin touch with some of them.
One or two every year.
Well,
they're incredible.
They, they bring incredible people.
(23:39):
I was looking at, because Mrs.World is tonight, I'm coming
down to your watch party.
Are you down?
But I was busy yesterday getting thenot sparkly crowns put in my face.
Oh,
I have those too.
Yeah, I just got two done yesterday.
(23:59):
And it just took forever.
And I was like, I'm gonna fly down.
I wanna go down and see Jamie.
And my husband's like, are yougonna leave me here with this zoo?
And I was like, I'll just go down andthen watch the pageant and then come back.
And he's just looking at me.
He's like, you're nuts.
Well, it will be fun.
It's super casual tonight.
(24:20):
So, but like
all of these women thatare involved, that.
At least that I know personallyare just, they're so incredible
and every year they're just,
you have to say that becauseI've done it so much.
I recognize that this is not the only way.
(24:42):
There are so many other thingsthat you can get involved in, and
I think that's what the pageant hasreally opened up to me is like your
life, how we serve our purpose.
Our platform is not solidly onlycontained in here and we have to be
(25:04):
careful of that because, you know, thefirst year, that's how it felt to me.
Like, this is the only wayI'm gonna get this word out.
And the only option for me if Idon't win, like then I'm doomed.
But I have recognized between year twoand three and now three and four, how.
(25:25):
This is just my choice, but in allreality, my platform can be spread
by so many other organizationsor opportunities like it.
It just doesn't stop with this,
um, as.
Because your, your platformis build it beautiful, right?
(25:45):
Beautiful.
Yes.
Has it changed?
What was it before?
Yeah, so my first two years it was aboutwomen's hormones and women's health.
I was a health coach forwomen and their hormones.
I taught them how to eat and exerciseand give education on women's hormones.
Um, I was a health coach for 10 years.
(26:08):
I just barely got testosteroneand estrogen implanted in my butt.
I had a total hysterectomy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Then normal doctors don't.
Yeah.
We could talk for hours about this.
Oh yeah.
But like women, I still,
I still am a really big proponent of that,but, well, my life between year, between
(26:32):
these two years, my life really changed.
Um, you know.
Yeah, I was, I was going througha lot of health problems, um, for,
because of lack of hormones, but Ialso was diagnosed with celiac disease.
I closed my decade old health coachingbusiness because my husband and I are
(26:56):
both very big entrepreneurs and we weregrowing our businesses and doing this.
Oh.
And so I shifted.
And sacrificed to save my marriage.
Yeah.
Um, so that happened.
I was experiencing physical problems.
So I actually, um, I was teaching classesevery day, uh, fitness classes every day.
(27:21):
And I only went down to likeone a week 'cause I was so.
Sick and experiencingsuch bad pain in my body.
Um, I had lots of friendship changesbecause I was closing my business
because I was leaving my studios,um, and going through, you know,
my, my kids were becoming teenagers.
Like that in and of itselfis a huge life change.
(27:43):
And, um, so a lot happenedbetween year two and three.
And to be honest, I probably shouldnot have been in the pageant last year.
Um, be after year two.
I felt like somebody put everythingI had built on one end of a
(28:05):
teeter-totter and then hammeredthe other side and it just flew.
Nothing, nothing had started landing yet.
When I was going through last year.
It was a really, reallypageant year for me.
So sorry to hear that I was mentallynot healthy, physically not healthy,
(28:26):
um, really struggling with who I was.
What I had to offer because youknow what I had had to offer.
I had been built for 10 yearsin these very strong years of
pageant and then just felt likeI had nothing last year to offer.
You
were anymore
kinda, which I wouldprobably suggest to you.
(28:49):
You probably didn't see that.
I had no idea.
Just the same way that we're reallygood at hiding what we're going through.
You're so good at masking.
We are.
Especially when we're in, whenwe're in pain or we need help,
we don't want other people toknow that we're having a problem.
Yeah.
(29:10):
I think that.
Especially when you're goingthrough long term things.
Like I could be like, Hey, I havecovid, and then 10 days later
I'm like, I want it, you know?
I conquered it.
Yeah.
But like when we're going through longterm slogging through the trenches.
Of humanity.
(29:31):
We don't want to admit ashumans that we are weak.
And I think that goes back to survivalof the fittest like it is in our
nature to not talk about those things.
Um, I actually have reallynot talked about it very much.
And I hope that, and I'm thankful forthis opportunity because I kind of get
(29:52):
to like just stick my toe in a littlebit to see where I'm at about sharing,
uh, because it has been extremely hard.
But I finally feel like there are some,some building blocks that are starting
to, to, I feel this positive upwardmomentum of built building in this
(30:15):
new way, which is really interestingbecause I had my pageant platform of
build it beautiful before I was evenseeing the results of my own build.
Again, 'cause somebody camein and knocked it all down.
Right?
A lot of renovation
was going on.
I feel like I'm still kindof going through that.
(30:39):
Um, yeah, there's a lot,there's a lot that I,
I've just tried to figureout what I even want.
Like I quit teaching, Ibe a teacher, but, um.
Part of it is because my dad had almostpassed away in April, and I knew that
(31:00):
he was, I knew it was gonna happenand that was gonna hit me hard, and
my mom had passed at the beginning ofthe school year, and I just realized
after losing both parents, um.
(31:22):
The what I'm leavingbehind now, what, sorry.
What I am leaving behind are thememories I'm making with them right now.
So what memories am I wantingto leave behind for my kids?
Or is my dad would say like, whatlegacy are you leaving behind?
(31:45):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And teaching was stressful.
The shingles.
Oh yeah.
Your outward, the outward manifestationof all your inward and my degrees.
Like that's the, I just hung those up.
(32:06):
One of those, two of those.
Hold on.
Wait,
2014.
10 years.
It took me 10 years to hang up my degrees.
Like I just, you don't,
I kind of didn't feel like I couldbe all braggy about it and be
(32:26):
like, look what I did, you know?
Which I feel like going throughpageantry, but I think it happens
in our careers too, and little bits.
But I feel like pageantry is likethis catalyst to exponentially make
us look at our personal barriers.
Yes.
(32:47):
And get the heck over them for real.
Like, like.
I just in that way of like, wait, I canbe proud of what I have accomplished
and what I have gone through and, and Ican tell people what I have accomplished
(33:08):
without looking like I'm bragging.
It is because I can now.
Confidently say like, I havesomething to contribute to you
because of what I've been through.
My mess qualifies me to sharewith you and to serve you.
(33:32):
Yeah.
Well, and it's like we'reall so relatable, right?
And we forget like.
These people have these incrediblelives and we, we see all their highlight
reels and we, like with me, peoplekept talking about how resilient I am.
(33:52):
You're so resilient.
You're so resilient.
You're so resilient.
Well, I went through crap.
You're forgetting all thecrap that I had to go through.
Like being resilient means youhad to go through hard stuff like
Yeah.
Yeah.
It qualified you, it gaveyou that characteristic.
(34:13):
Yeah.
But then where was my support?
Like, I still need
support just because I went through ahard time and I am resilient, doesn't
mean I'm a hundred percent okay now.
Right, right.
But I also, well, we still,we still need community.
We still need connection.
It doesn't
mean that, um.
(34:38):
It also doesn't mean that Ican't hold space for you and
be there for your hard stuff.
Yeah.
And depending on, depending on where yourcapacity is, that also looks different
per circumstances and per person too.
Right?
(34:59):
Well, and I think.
Sometimes people get, um,
like with the pageant,
I'm just kind of noticing from likean outside perspective a little
bit, kind of an outside perspective.
I don't know.
Um, just 'cause I've done it beforeand now there's some new people
(35:23):
that I'm watching go through it and.
It's like, what is the focuson, like what are they?
Are they worried about the clothes or arethey worried about the hair and makeup?
Are they trying to push too hard?
Are they showing up as themselves?
(35:44):
Like are you going over the topand stressing yourself out and
showing up for things that youdon't need to be showing up for?
Because.
You feel obligated or are you doing itbecause it's part of your purpose, right?
You don't have to go out of your way.
And I think that's kind ofhard for some of them to see.
You don't have to like go out ofyour way and do some big huge,
(36:08):
um, fundraising event or whatever.
Like, you don't have to do that ifyou're just doing it for the pageant.
Like, everything I'm doing now is, um.
You wanna continue?
It's what I wanna
continue doing and it kindof helps me figure that out.
'cause Whoopsies, I did that backwards.
(36:29):
My, I'm not teaching anymore, but I havea master's in curriculum and instruction.
So what the heck am I gonna do now?
I am gonna work with nonprofitsand do public speaking and I don't
know, whatever the heck happened.
Yeah.
But even if you have that master'sdegree in that, at that time of your
(36:50):
life, that's where you needed to be.
Yeah.
There are some people who don't ever evenuse the degree that they were given and
their life takes 'em on this journey.
We have to be so careful.
We don't stick ourselves to inside thisbox of this is who I am and this is
only who I am and this is where I'll be.
(37:12):
Yeah.
It's not in the box.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think, I think that I would hope,and this is where the pageantry
gets a little bit sketchy, right?
And this is why you can't rely onthe pageant to dictate your worth
because you go into some year, sotwo years, I've had five judges.
(37:38):
In the middle year I had seven.
Oh, there were seven judges that year.
So many interviews, it was a lot.
But if you go into these judges,I get three minutes to tell them
who I am and what I'm about.
Right.
And you're up against
(37:59):
however many women,
right?
If those judges don't see.
Those who are genuineversus those who are not.
If they don't have the talentto decipher between genuine
talent or not genuine talent.
'cause who knows who the judges are.
We don't get to choose them.
(38:19):
They're just picked.
We don't So like Right.
And they shouldn't know us either.
Yeah.
But if they can't pick that out andthey pick somebody who is underdeveloped
and not ready for that, and.
That's on the judges.
So there's, there's a saying in pageantry,which you've heard from our directors.
Different day, differentjudge, different girl.
(38:41):
Yep.
And it truly is that.
So if you're only doing thingsto make the pageant look good, or
your pageant run look good, butthat's not really who you are.
You are going to, that person is goingto have a really rough time coming off
that pageant if they don't win real.
And I believe that if they dowin, they're gonna have a really
(39:04):
hard time continuing to push thata hundred percent consistently.
Because as humans, we just cannot runat a hundred percent all the time.
We can't.
We need, it's this,
right?
It's just, there's ebbs and flows, andif we're always showing up as perfect,
we're gonna really have a rough timeshowing up as perfect all the time.
(39:28):
That's how I ended upwith shingles in my face.
Mm-hmm.
'cause I was doing too much and itwas because of like, that I needed
to show, I needed to prove myself, Ineeded to show I could handle all the
things and I could juggle everything.
Yeah.
Well, and, and we feel pressured todo that, whether that's something
we're conscious of or not.
(39:51):
I think women specificallyfeel pressured because.
Via our social media, or even just inconversations with people around us, we
see women pushing that limit and we thinkthat that is actually what is normal.
In all reality, that'snot necessarily healthy.
Just because we see that doesn't mean, Imean, just like you, you were pushing for
(40:14):
that perfection, but then your body wasshowing that like, uh, hey, step back.
And for me, I was pushing forperfection and then my body had to
renovate my life, had to renovate'cause I couldn't keep it up.
Sometimes it's okay to
just knock everything down and start over.
(40:35):
You have to have that, likethe solid, solid foundation.
The solid shelf where everything'sjust gonna, and we have had, I don't
remember what title holders it was, butthere are a couple misses just recently
that miss, I think that just steppeddown because their values didn't align
(40:56):
with a pageant system or whatever.
Yeah, we've seen that.
Yeah.
But like.
This journey should be helpingyou catapult your life and
what you're already doing.
And you shouldn't be like, Iwanna win the crown, so I'm gonna
do this, this, this, and this.
And thank goodness we don't see that.
(41:19):
Often in
ours, like our little, yeah, our, ourdirectors aren't pushing for a winner.
They're pushing to develop women,and I love that there are other
states that they push for winners.
Yeah.
Well, and I love the community that we've
created because we wanna get togetherevery month and the whole time I
(41:39):
was like, that crown was too heavy.
I knew it wasn't gonna fit on my head.
I knew it wasn't for me.
I was up on that stage and you thatyour ass, I was applauding like hell
for every single person that wasgetting because they worked, they worked
hard and it really is a celebrationof how incredible Yeah, women are.
(42:03):
Well, I have always told people,and going through this system
myself, multiple years, I've toldpeople like what you see on stage
is maybe 5% of what they have done.
Yeah, and we is the contestants.
Know the 90 per 90, 95% of whatother contestants have done and watch
(42:27):
them grow and change and develop.
And I know there's a couple contestantsthis year that I'm enjoying watching
their first time, like all the, the messyunderstanding and the lingo and the, the,
you know, the butt glue and the boob tape.
That make a difference inyour, in, in how you show up.
(42:48):
Just little things like that.
And I love watching like the lightbulbs start to turn on, but like in that
system, when we're on that stage andthey're in and they, they bring everybody
out and they're, they're announcingthe winners, like of the costume and
the winners of Miss Congeniality andthe winner of the best interview.
Like only those women on thatstage and maybe key members
(43:11):
of people's families know.
The refining that, that that lady hasgone through for the past eight months
to make it to that stage alone, right?
Yeah.
So we have, we have to validate each otherby being each other's supporters that
way, because if it was only for the crown,we'd all stand up there and like poke
(43:36):
our hip out and put our hands on our hipsand just fold our arms and puff and puff.
But like.
I think we're validating the, yes,we're validating that journey of
those women by showing up for them,even though we know that Crown is not
going to be on our head that night.
Yeah.
Well, and I was so lost last yearwith what to write 'cause I had to
(43:58):
write what they were gonna talk aboutwhile I'm walking around on the stage
and I'm like, I dunno what to say.
Yeah, it's never been myfavorite to talk about myself.
Way,
but it's like, what do Iwant people to know about me?
It's just kind of mm-hmm.
It's less intimidating and Right whenit was over Amanda Brady, well, I think
everyone was worried that I was gonnahave like that big pageant let down.
(44:19):
I didn't, I, I had, I waslike, Ugh, I'm so tired.
I just felt like I had a hangover.
But emotionally, I was like, I grabbedAmanda Brady, she's like one of
the former winners, or she grabbedme, I grabbed her, she grabbed me,
one of the two, and I was like.
I wanna quit my job and do this again.
And she was like, slow down.
(44:40):
But I did.
But not because, notbecause of the pageant.
Because the pageant helped me realizethat the direction my life was going is
not the direction that I was meant to go.
I, there's like a magnetthat's pulling me and I just.
(45:01):
I follow whatever that pole is.
So now, because I've been able todo the peja, I have some really cool
opportunities, um, and I've been ableto heal and really figure out like,
what, what the heck I'm doing right.
I love that.
And you know what, in fouryears, five years, that might
(45:23):
not be the right pull anymore.
You know, like we, we, we draw intothese opportunities and there it
really is just a winding journey.
I. This is not the end all be all for me.
Even like, and that comes full circle,like there's so much more outside of
this that if this doesn't happen, I'mjust thankful I was able to be part of
(45:47):
it to, to give me the next opportunity.
Yeah, I'm thankful 'cause I've had,
because of my sash, I'vebeen able to meet some really
incredible people and make some.
Connections and we need thatthere power in that sash.
Yeah.
And we need that village.
(46:08):
We need that community.
So I think it's helping, it'skind of helping women catapult.
It's like that, what is it?
It's kind of like aMLM, but it not really.
For good
things.
Incredible.
How we are pulling like-mindedwomen to be together.
(46:30):
Yes.
It, it is, it is.
There is something to be said about youbecome like the people you hang around.
Mm-hmm.
And you know, I, I talked a little bitwith you here about how my life upended.
Well, deciding if I wanted to do thepageant this year, this was my decision
because things had changed so muchand because I was now lacking a tribe,
(46:52):
because I lost my, my students andmy studios and, and my clients who
be, you know, were becoming friends.
I made the decision to do the pageantthis year because I knew that if I
wanted to be successful, I needed to bearound women who wanted to be successful,
and this was where I decided to go.
Yeah.
(47:13):
Well, and now, because you're notdoing your classes anymore, is
this where you started with BYU
doing mentoring?
Yeah.
No, I think I would've done that anyway.
Um, it, it, it, BYU mentoring didnot come out of my sash at all,
(47:35):
um, which is really interesting.
But it has stemmed some opportunities whenpeople look at my profile to then further.
Engage with me.
So it has led to opportunities, but,um, I, I was telling you before we
started recording, so maybe I'll,I'll explain this a little bit.
I mentor BYU students in, they can contactme through the, it's called BYU Connect,
(48:00):
any BYU student in any of the locations.
So Idaho, Hawaii, um, enzyme Collegein Salt Lake, and then, uh, BYU
Provo, anybody who is a student.
Or is an alumni, they have thisnetworking program and um, I signed
up for that and was probably oneof the first 50 users of that.
(48:22):
And students contact me andI get to give them advice.
Uh, they see I've ownedmultiple businesses.
They see I was in the businessschool, but also that I do dance.
And then, you know, they see myprofile picture with my sash.
And that has led to, like Isaid, other opportunities, but.
When this opportunity to be a mentorcame up, all I could think about
(48:47):
was how much I could have useda mentor when I was 18 years old
and 19 years old and 20 years old.
You know, the five years I was in college,even when I was married and still in
college, I could have used a mentor to saylike, Hey, I've been where you've been.
I'm 10 to 15 years out of school and.
(49:08):
These are the things Iwould've done different.
Yeah.
Or these are the things I would've takenadvantage of, or these are the things
I wouldn't have worried about so much.
Yeah.
And um, and so I get to do that.
I actually met with a student who isdoing, um, online studies through BYU.
(49:28):
It's called BYU Pathways,and he was in Zimbabwe.
What,
this was just last week.
Yeah, so, okay.
I met a student from Zimbabwe whois trying to get any sort of smaller
degree so that he can open his owncoding company from Zimbabwe to be
(49:49):
able to support a future family.
He was in a cafe paying for internetby the hour to be able to meet with
other BYU alumni to learn from themwhat their experiences have been.
So I feel, I, I feel this pull thatno matter what I learn in life,
(50:14):
I have a responsibility to sharewhat I learn with other people.
To better their lives because I didn'thave that myself, and I've always felt
that way when it came to my health.
I'll share anything about hormonesand women's health because I
went through my own trials.
I'll share anything about businessbecause man, I wish somebody would've
told me how to start a business insteadof me having to figure it out on my own.
(50:38):
Like all of the things thatI have learned on my own, you
know, we have a responsibility ashumans to help somebody else out.
I'm gonna tell you something crazy.
My dad used to work at BYU,that's where he retired.
He went to school there for a long time.
(51:00):
Um, he graduated with his MBAand then he went and did like
other business things, right?
Mm-hmm.
Um, but he retired fromBYU and his job was.
A recruiter for graduating MBAs.
Awesome.
So he like would travel around the worldand connect businesses with students with
(51:24):
the MBA
program.
Yeah,
and he would, his favorite thingwas doing retreats, but like.
Rafting, whitewater raftingand hiking and stuff.
Venture retreats.
Yeah.
There is something to be said aboutdoing something hard in nature that,
uh, patterns, it's, it patterns usfor better resilience in the business
(51:49):
world, in our normal everyday lives.
Right.
Real.
That's really cool.
Amanda.
I, um.
I think that the MBA programsare really incredible.
My husband went through theexecutive MBA program, um, where
you still, you're, you're, you'renot looking to land a big job.
(52:09):
You have a job already and havebeen in that job for a time.
And then, you know, you gothrough this MBA program to help
you be better in your position.
And, um.
It was the most incredibleexperience to watch.
It was kind of like what we do inpageantry, that self-growth and self, um,
(52:30):
change within that was incredible for myhusband to go through and us as a family.
So
it's amazing.
Yeah, they have a reallyincredible program there.
I just, I didn't realize how, what hedid, 'cause I got to write some of his.
Life sketch, that's what it was called.
(52:50):
Me and my three sisters all stood upthere and did, talked about different
parts of his life and I got totalk about his business, whatever.
But I knew him as thescary guy in the office.
You know,
he was always in his den and he wasalways working and I didn't wanna
bother him, but like when he got olderand like I was out of the house and.
(53:17):
All kinds of things.
He was able to really be my dad again,you know, and like show up how he
wanted to, which was really cool.
Yeah.
The legacy.
Yeah, I think, I think that there'sso much more to our parents than
we realize until they're goneand we discover the sides of them
(53:37):
that in our innocence we missed.
Yeah.
In our own needs or in our ownperspective, we missed of them.
When my mother's parents passed away,she found this beautiful file full of all
the love letters that they had writtenback and forth to each other, and she
(53:59):
said it really opened my eyes to therelationship that I didn't get to see.
That's what she said.
You know, like I didn't know.
I didn't know that they were thatinvested romantically with each
other because I didn't see that.
Right.
And so I think about what are my kidsgoing to discover of me, you know?
(54:20):
Yeah.
When, when I'm gone that they go, oh,there's more to this person than just mom.
Right.
Um.
I'm gonna get ready to wrap up withyou so you can get Yes, this is great.
Yeah.
But two things.
Um, I've been able to go through mymom's things and I'm the youngest of
(54:45):
seven kids and my parents divorcedafter being married for 40 years.
So by the time I was around, they were notlovey-dovey on each other, like at all.
I found their wedding album and like.
When you're miserable, you'renot gonna pull out those pictures
and look at them with your kids.
(55:06):
Right.
I had never seen them happy.
Wow.
I had never seen them likeloving and kissing on each
other or holding each other.
He was like carrying her in a little.
And so it was just kind of niceto like know that they really did.
They really did care about each other.
I also found out my last thing, um.
(55:30):
My mom did pageants a little bit.
That's so cool.
I think that was
her helping me heal.
Mm-hmm.
Ooh, okay.
Just a moment.
My cleaners are here.
That's great.
Well, this is a good time.
Tell us where we can need you.
(55:53):
Okay.
So you can find me at, um, on Instagram.
I have a build it Beautiful.
Instagram, but I also have Mrs. ClarissaThomas, and there's dots between
each word and both of those handles.
And I'll send this to you and youcan put it in your show notes.
Um, you can find mypodcast@builditbeautiful.com and anything
(56:15):
about me, we didn't get a talk aboutlike my recipe book, but my girls and
I put together a recipe book this pastyear and you can find that on, you
can order it on our site or on Amazon.
Um, they have a Kindle version on Amazon.
That's so cool.
Maybe because I'm gonna berecording with you soon, maybe we
can talk about that a little bit.
Tiny bit on your podcastor just come back.
(56:38):
Sounds lovely.
It was a cute little project for me.
And other than that, like I'm, I'm very,I mean, you can find me on Facebook,
you can find me really anywhere.
I'm happy to, I'm happy to shareand be that mentor that people need.
But also you're, you're goingto find things that are going
to be uplifting, things that aregoing to be business oriented.
(56:59):
And I'm, I try and just be superreal, um, with what I post and what
I share and showing all sides ofhumanity versus just a perfect side.
Well, we don't need tosee just the highlight.
Let's be real.
Absolutely.
Thank you so much for having meon and chatting with me and, um,
(57:24):
providing a space where we can connect.
I love that.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Okay.
Yeah.
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