Embracing the Uncomfortable: Amanda's Journey Through Ketamine Therapy and LGBTQ Allyship

Episode Transcript
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(00:13):
Amanda McCombs [00:01.036]
Hello and welcome to the innerworkings of the not so genius mind.
I'm your host, the notso genius Amanda McCombs.
And you know, I'm
starting to get into a better routine.
I'm almost at weekly.
I know what it says.
My podcast does release weekly.

(00:34):
It's going to eventually.
I'm getting so much better.
I
have been doing a lotof work on my health.
and in all the ways, physical and mental,and it's finally starting to come through.
I finished six rounds of ketamine therapy.
That was, that was brutal.

(00:56):
It isn't as easy and wonderfuland sunshine and rainbows as
everybody makes it seem to be.
It is so healing.
I am thankful I was able to do that.
So.
I'm gonna say that's my thing that I hadto do to take care of myself for this

(01:17):
episode is doing the ketamine therapy andgoing through with all of it because a
lot of the things that I went into, youknow, it takes a lot of mental preparation
before you go into a situation like that.
it's, I have medical staff there with me.
It's not just some like,

(01:38):
crazy trip where somebodygives me some random stuff.
It's a process and I'mthankful for my team.
They're over at Rising Health, RisingHealth Specialty Clinic here in Utah.
They've been helping with myhormone therapy and just my
overall health and wellness.

(01:58):
They're the
ones that I'm not sponsored.
by them right now.
Maybe I will be, but who knows?
I haven't really talkedto them about that yet.
So this is not, I'm not sayingthis because I'm sponsored.
I'm just saying thank youto Raising Health because

(02:19):
it's really made a difference.
And I really had to, you know, it'sgetting down to the root cause of
why you're feeling sick and not justtaking Advil because you're in pain.
It's making the pain actually go away.
don't have to take theAdvil anymore, right?
But on a different note, I'm gonnaspin to something completely different.

(02:44):
I had the privilege of goingto the Equality Utah Awaigawa.
It was over this last weekend.
I kind of went last minute andI went alone, like by myself.
bought my ticket, nobodywas going with me.
think though, I don't know, Iguess I've done it in a few other

(03:06):
situations, but not anything likethis, because it was at the ECHOES.
And, you know, I've learnedespecially from doing the Mrs.
Utah America pageant that I learnand I grow so much when I'm put
in uncomfortable situations.
And I kept seeing all theseposts about the Equality Gala.

(03:26):
And the day of, I sent thepost to my husband and I was
like, I need to go to this.
I need to go do my Mrs.
Daybreak thing and I need to go be thereand just show them that I am supportive.
And I asked him to go with me.
It's really not his scene.
And he would be better for him tostay and take care of the kids anyway.
Right.
So I put on my big, huge, beautifulblue dress because when else am I

(03:53):
going to put that dang thing on?
right?
I mean, if you have ideas, and you knowwhen I could maybe put it on besides the
pageant because I'm doing that again.
I mean, that's already clear.
But I will come give me an eventto wear a dress to and I will go.
And it's

(04:15):
I mean, really going to something thisbig, it was at the Eccles, going to
something that big alone is not somethingthat I would do before the pageant.
So here I am doing my Mrs.
Daybreak thing in my big, beautifulblue dress, and I'm talking to
strangers and putting myself out there.
In case you don't know, EqualityUtah is for the LGBTQ plus.

(04:40):
community and I went as an ally.
I have a lot of,
a lot of people I know arepart of that community.
I mean, I, and if I learned anything,cause I have, like I've been to pride
and I've been to other things, but if Ilearned anything, it's, I'm really bad

(05:01):
at taking be real, like behind the scenesfootage or just, or even just like,
any kind of footage where I'm just like,wow, this is a really cool moment because
lately I'm just taking in the moment.
So I don't have a lot of photo and video.
Plus my phone died towardsthe end of the night.

(05:21):
And I really, anyway, that's enough.
I'll tell you that at the
end.
they were trying to raise money to helpwith policy changes and things to keep.
people safe.
And I think there's a lot ofmisunderstandings, I think, and a
lot of misconceptions when you thinkabout going to an event like that.

(05:42):
It was, the theme for thenight was, what was it?
Enchanted world.
That's what it was.
And there were people walk, there werelike giant dancing trees and there
were people with like, I saw a dudethat actually had like a tree branch
wrapped around his head and it was all.
He kept hitting me with it and I waslike, man, why does it smell so good?

(06:03):
Is that a real tree?
And he was like, yes, I made it myself.
Anyway, so I just, it was so weird toput myself out there because a lot of
people have no idea who I am or who Mrs.
Daybreak is.
So, and there's a big difference Inotice between like me just going and

(06:26):
showing up and me showing up and like,
wearing something that boldlyproclaims who and what I am, right?
And I'm walking up and down thesestairs in this big, huge, amazing
foyer before the party even, like,not the party, before the show starts.
So there was like a party beforehandand then the show, the concert,

(06:51):
and the fundraising stuff.
And then there was the afterparty and then there was an after.
after party and I am not I'm not thatbig of a party or I made it to the
after party but I didn't make it to theafter after party but in all of that
I heard I did not get as much photoand video as I wanted to just because

(07:12):
I was so captivated and I was justenjoying the moment and I was watching
everybody and talking to people and
I mean, I should have had my phoneout and I should have been taking
pictures left and right and all kindsof video, but I just was present.
I was there.
I was listening to all thesounds and watching all the

(07:35):
people and their costumes and...
Even though I was there alone,was so happy that I went and
I was so happy to be there.
you know,
it's kind of eye-opening because I'mused to being people who think and act
a lot more like me and then I step inand I'm probably the minority, right?

(07:58):
And there was nothing but love.
And when it comes down to it all,there's reasons I'm talked about
ketamine therapy at the beginning.
because during my ketamine therapyand while I was at this gala, I
just really came to realize that alot of what we really want as part

(08:19):
of the overall human experienceis to be seen and heard and loved.
just as we are, not like I loveyou, but you should do this.
Or you should believe andthink and do whatever I think
you should be doing, right?
That's not what ourlives are supposed to be.

(08:39):
And I'm looking around at allthese beautiful people that are
so full of love and compassionand all they want is to love.
they shouldn't have to fight so hardto exist and to be who they are.
And I think really, especially afterstruggling so hard to figure out who I

(09:01):
am, I mean, I'm still on that journey.
know I figuring out who I am becausewhen I'm walking around wearing that
sash and there's all these people thatare looking at me and they're like,
wow, I didn't know there was a Mrs.
Daybreak.
I have to be like, here I am.
Yes there is.
I'm Mrs.
Daybreak.
And then I have to explain likehow it all comes to be because

(09:25):
there was an interview I did.
actually, I think I'm going to do athrowback episode because I was a guest
on my friend Courtney Pearl's podcast.
And I was a guest on her podcastlast year when I was still
new to all the pageant stuff.
And before I had started my own,

(09:47):
and we talked about like how I became Mrs.
Daybreak and how I claimed that title.
I said, this is mine.
Right.
when you put in your paperwork, Idon't know if I've mentioned this
to like my podcast people, youjust write down where you live.
If that's your preferred title,like if it, your neighborhood or,

(10:11):
your city or county orwhatever, you know, I did Mrs.
Daybreak thinking nobodyelse would have it.
And it's not like I wentand did a beauty pageant.
It was like, I just signed upand said, I'd like to be Mrs.
Daybreak.
And if not, I'll do this other one.
And nobody else was Mrs.
Daybreak.
So I'm your Mrs.
Daybreak for the foreseeable future.

(10:31):
And I have to like, it's very interestingto tell people like, I didn't have
to do another pageant to do this.
I just had to be like,I'm going to be Mrs.
Daybreak.
This is who I am.
man, it's so fun.
So fun to like figure it allout all over again, though.
I have done a lot of healingwith my inner child and my outer

(10:54):
child, the whole person, right?
Who says we have to grow up?
I told Peter Pan that I was onlygrowing up or pretending to be
a grown up for the other adultsbecause they don't need to know.
Why do you think I wasin first grade so long?
Just kidding, it'sbecause I was a teacher.
Anyway.

(11:16):
There were a lot of people fromthe community that were there and
I loved seeing a lot of the LGBTQ
daybreak crowd there.
So hi.
If I ran into you and gave you aquick hello, it was nice to see you.
And if you found me on my podcast,
give me a quick hello.

(11:38):
I'm going to start winding things uphere, but you can say hi to me over at
my Instagram, which is not so genius.
Or if you want to like collaborateor schedule an interview, I'm
totally open to doing that.
I think that would be really fun.
So shoot me a message.
Let's connect.

(11:59):
And you should check out EqualityUtah on Instagram for pictures
and video and any ways that you'reinterested in contributing to help.
and be a part of that amazing community.
There's just, there were justso many amazing people there.
I was in awe.
People on and off the stage.
was just so cool.

(12:22):
If you've listened this far, thank you.
Take care of yourselves.
It's a crazy world out there.

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