March 14, 2025 • 41 mins
Empowering Through Resilience: A Conversation with Kimberly Wirfs
Amanda McCombs hosts a conversation with Kimberly Wirfs, a business owner, widow, and mother of three, currently Miss Bountiful for the upcoming Mrs. Utah American Pageant. They discuss pageant experiences, resilience, preparedness, and personal stories, including the impact of life's unexpected events and the creation of Kimberly's 'Life's Essential Binder' to help people organize important documents. They also explore their shared experiences with tattoos and life as military spouses. The episode highlights the importance of living fully and being prepared for life-changing moments.
00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction
00:40 Pageant Experiences and Expectations
02:12 Pageant Preparations and Challenges
06:59 Life's Essential Binder and Personal Stories
16:27 Tattoos and Their Meanings
21:57 Introduction to Douglas and Oregon Connection
23:11 Tattoo Stories and Personal Meanings
25:16 Military Life and Personal Resilience
29:03 Favorite Places and Future Plans
33:22 Pageant Experiences and Sisterhood
40:13 Concluding Thoughts and Farewell
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
hello everyone and welcome to the innerworkings of the not so genius mind.
I am the not so genius, Amanda McCombs,and I'm here with my friend Kimberly
Wirfs, and she is our Miss Bountiful,um, for the Mrs. Utah American Pageant
happening at the end of this month.
Kimberly is a business owner,widow, and mother of three.
(00:25):
She believes in empowering others toembrace resilience and preparedness.
Life can change in an instant andbeing ready makes all the difference.
Hi.
Hello.
So good to chat with you today.
So good to chat.
We were just talking a littlebit earlier before we hit record
'cause we haven't really beenable to get to know each other.
(00:46):
There's like so many other ladiesand you're on the miss side of
things and I'm on the misses.
And while we're doing the same thing,it's just like a tiny bit different.
Yes, it definitely is.
And we haven't, and well, whilethere's like six of us misses
now, um, there's a lot more, orexcuse me, miss, uh, yeah, miss.
That sounded, that's so hard.
(01:06):
Miss category.
Yeah, there we go.
Um, there are a lot more missesin the category, you know,
in the, in that category.
So sometimes, um, it's a little bitharder to get to know, you know,
across the categories, but also.
Extremely excited to spend a wholeweekend with all of you ladies.
(01:28):
Um, I'm a little nervous.
I, if I, if I don't say I'm so myself.
Um, but, you know, I'm justexcited to have the experience.
Oh man.
So last year was my first yearcompeting and immediately when it was
done, like I knew it wasn't gonna win.
Are you kidding me?
I had no idea what I was doing.
And, um, right when it was done, Iwanted to do it again, just 'cause like.
(01:53):
The relationships that youform and how much you grow.
It isn't just about being pretty andwalking on a stage, like it's brave.
It takes bravery to do that, especially'cause with so many contestants
now we have a lot of people in theaudience that we're not gonna know.
Right.
Ugh.
Um, so how, 'cause this is my second year.
(02:17):
You've never done apageant before, have you?
I have never done a pageant.
And honestly, when I first started Iwas like, I re, well, it was at like a
Christmas party that we were all at andsomeone said something about competing
again, and I was like, wait a minute,if I don't win, I can do it again.
And they were like, yeah.
And I'm like, yes.
Okay.
(02:38):
So my whole plan was to go in, havefun, enjoy, um, the whole process,
get to know the ladies, and then.
Compete again next year.
So that has been my plan,just to have fun and enjoy it.
Kind of get the pageant under my beltand then, um, compete again next year.
(02:59):
Um, that's good idea.
That's, yeah, that's, that's my exciting
part.
I was just talking to, there's,um, 'cause that's my second year.
Like, I don't, I don't know.
I don't know a lot.
There's people that have donepageants for years and years
and years and they're doing it.
Um.
But we were just talking about howthe next time we get all together,
it's gonna be pageant weekend.
(03:20):
Like, yes, we're gonna be havingour slumber party and we're gonna be
doing our dress rehearsal, and we'reactually gonna be like, on the stage?
Stage, yes.
Doing our
dance.
Like, ah, well, and I wasn't there lastweekend because I, I had a retreat that
I had already, that I had like alreadypaid for before I joined the pageant.
(03:42):
So I wasn't, and.
I know that February 28th and March1st are right next to each other, but
for some reason I didn't think thatthey were right next to each other.
It kind of seems like it shouldbe like a totally different week.
Yes, it does.
It does.
So I, um, yeah, so I wasn't there lastweekend and luckily one of the Mrs.
(04:04):
Contestants lives up near where I do,up in, uh, like, uh, Davis County.
So then I will be able to practicewith them because I am utterly lost.
Yeah.
And the dancing and theheels is scaring me today.
Um, yeah, I think I'm switchingmy shoes actually for the dance.
'cause like, it's fast.
(04:26):
Don't tell me that it's fast.
Well, it's just, I amdoing the ballroom part.
Okay.
And so I have to do like someextra chacha, like whatever stuff.
Oh yeah.
I
don't have to worry about that stuff.
It's fast.
And my shoes are like theteeny tiny pokey heel.
So I mean,
(04:48):
I did get a shorter wouldthe one shorter hill.
I did get a shorter heel and it's a littlebit thicker because I tried the short
hill with like this little spike and I waslike, Nope, this isn't gonna work for me.
'cause I'm not usually if I wearheels, it's like a thick, chunky heel.
So, yeah.
Well, and
it doesn't gonna have
to look like everyone else's like it.
(05:08):
Oh.
You need to be comfortableand you need to be confident.
'cause if you're not, they'll know.
Yes.
Yes.
And that's where I just haveto practice walking in them.
I'm honestly am not scared.
I know this is gonna soundstrange, but I am so not scared
in walking around in the swimsuit.
Like I have the confidence to walk.
I mean, I'm like, whatever.
(05:29):
You know, it's a swimsuit.
Did you grab your swimsuit already?
Yes, I did.
Um, I haven't tried mine on allthe way, but I. I'm a fan of the
material so far because I had toone last year I did have to go
upside upside.
Me too.
Me too.
Um, the one last year was a differentcompany and it was cheaper material
(05:51):
and I went to where one time after thepageant and the seams already were like,
oh, they weren't gonna hold my girls.
Yeah.
Well, I will say that I did have to goup a size because of the chest area.
Yeah.
But going up in a size, then it, I haveto have my, um, alterations lady adjust.
Just like shorten the straps.
(06:12):
Yeah.
Because they're justa little bit too long.
And those cups that theyput in swimsuits are crazy.
Why I need to have her adjust that too.
Because it just doesn't not work.
No, it doesn't work.
Who?
No, I
don't know.
No, I don't know.
And they, they like alwaysget all folded and crumbly.
Yes.
And they don't like either sew them inand give it shape and make them stay put.
(06:36):
Yes.
Or don't do it,
or don't even have them.
Yeah.
And I will say like.
I am bigger in that area and theyare made for like a smaller, per a
person that's smaller in that area.
And I'm like, that's, you know, theyneed to be like double the size.
It's
not one size fits.
Oh no
it's not.
(06:57):
Oh man, it is not.
Well this is so cool.
Um, you have your website Yes.
Which I want you to like,I want make one for me.
Um.
We'll talk about that.
Do you want me to tell
you about the life binder?
Is that what you want me to talk about?
Well, I, yeah, because I kind of wannatell me about your platform because every
(07:17):
contestant has a platform and we havelike have to make it part of what we
eat and live and breathe for a minute.
So you just publish this life.
It's Life's Essential Binder.
Essential binder.
Yes.
And I was actually already eat andbreathing this before the pageant.
Yeah.
And so I was like, oh, I hopethat this can work together.
(07:38):
Yes.
'cause I am a widow.
My husband, um, passed away 11 and ahalf years ago, almost 12 years ago.
Um, he, after a five deal ba year battlewith stage four young lung cancer.
Cannot talk today.
And um, we were young.
We were both young.
He was 37.
Um, and it was like two weeks aftermy birthday when he passed away.
(08:00):
God.
So he, um, yeah.
So I just feel like everybodyshould be prepared for life
altering, life changing events.
And after talking.
To a lot of friends and even familymembers, um, they realize, you know, they
didn't have all of their things together.
They don't have a will, they don'thave, you know, different things.
(08:21):
And I'm not saying you have tohave a will, but it's, but if
you do, do you know where it is?
You know, not everybodyeven knoWirfs that too.
Um, and so what I have made is this binderhas all of these things, um, in one place.
So like your, um, if there's aplace and they have folders, so
there's a place for your, actuallyI have an example of one of them.
(08:46):
Yeah.
Let me take this stuff out of it.
But this is what it looks like.
So this will be the folder.
Oh, okay.
And then there's a paper in theresaying what to put in there.
But I'm really particularabout how binders lay.
So it has the Velcro ones here.
There'll be one in the middleand then one over here.
So they all lay nicely.
So it's not like,
(09:07):
yeah, so it's not like this.
I like it.
I like it because I'm a littleparticular, so they have, um, yeah, so
wine will have like birth certificatesand then social security cards and,
um, marriage license or mar, youknow, um, and I even put a place for.
Divorce decrees and I mean, 'causeyou never know, like people have
(09:28):
may or may not have these things.
And so there's all different thing,there's all different spots to have.
There's are some thingsthat you just write in.
Um, for example, likeyour health insurance.
Um, you can put your card in there,but also you can write the information
in and write in the doctor's name.
Um, there's a spot for your visit.
Vision insurance and also like, you know,you can put your prescriptions in there
(09:51):
because when you go to get a prescription.
Or if you order, even if you order onlinelike a, like a glasses prescription, the,
the glasses place doesn't usually keep it.
They take the information, but theydon't keep the, um, prescription
and it doesn't expire for two years.
So you need to make sure you keep that,um, so that there's a place to keep that.
(10:12):
And then it has like differentinformation when it has the medical
information, but also, um, informationwhen it comes to like the, um.
The, oh, what am I trying to say?
Oh, when you leave and you havelike your parents, watch your kids.
So, um, and give that authorization to beable to like take them to the hospital.
(10:35):
Now, in my case, I would give thatauthorization to my older son because
he's 24 and the other one's 19.
So if I were to leave for the weekend,which I should have probably done
this last weekend, but like, I'dgive them the authorization to take.
Their little sister and then allthey would need to do, 'cause
she's 16, all they need to dois just take the whole binder.
It would have all ofthe information in it.
(10:56):
It would have the, like what her birthcertificate is and all of the information.
There's also, in my case, uh, aplace to put a death certificate.
So then you always have that.
Um, and then I've also am includedwhat is called a letter of intent.
And that is for you.
There's instructions and everything inthere too, but that's for you to fill
(11:18):
out, especially if you don't have a will.
But, you know, there are things thateven a will, doesn't take care of,
but how you want to be buried, howyou, um, all, you know, like how
you want your funeral to look like.
Um, I wish I had that information.
From my husband.
Um, and I feel like I did a goodjob, but I really do wish I had
(11:39):
that information from my husband.
And I know some people are like, oh, Idon't wanna think about that because then,
um, you know, something bad might happen.
But I'm a firm believer if you areprepared, you'll never have to use it.
So I try to be preparedso I don't have to use it.
Well, and like if you do have touse it, it just makes your life.
(11:59):
Easier.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
Um, my, so both of myparents have passed away.
Um, okay.
They were, I'm the youngest of seven.
Just to give you like a quick rundown.
Yes.
So my parents were older, right.
Um, my dad just passed inNovember and my mom passed.
(12:21):
The previous August, solike over a year ago.
Um, so
they both were in the last like two years.
Yeah.
But my mom, so like they both, they weredivorced, they married other people.
My dad had everything puttogether ready to go, kind of.
(12:43):
But even then it stilllike took time to like,
yes.
Put things together because itwasn't necessarily all in one place.
Right.
Um, my mom's house had burneddown six months before.
Oh my goodness.
So like her house burned down and thensix months later she passed away and
(13:05):
they were like going through and tryingto find things and like get records
and stuff and, you know, pulling outwhatever things you can, but like.
We didn't know anything about howshe wanted to be buried and then we
couldn't find an updated will we, likewe couldn't, we didn't have any of that.
Yeah.
And so the funeral that was put togetherwas not what she would've wanted.
(13:30):
'cause my stepdad planned itand didn't really, we didn't
get much involvement in it.
And then my dad's, we were.
More involved.
Like with my stepdad, it was likeher life didn't start until they met.
Mm-hmm.
And it did.
So it was just, yeah, it did.
There was a whole other lifetimebefore that, so it's just crazy.
(13:55):
But like I was noticing the drasticdifference between the two, like
being ready and being prepared versuslike not having anything or only
having any everything digitally.
Yeah.
And not having a paper record and notbeing able to, like, how are you gonna
give all this information to anybodythat is responsible for your life, right?
(14:20):
Mm-hmm.
And I didn't think like half thestuff that you listed, I would've
not have thought to put in there.
Well,
and there's even more.
Um, there's even more information I, youknow, talk about like school, um, records.
'cause I have a friend, like diploma,college diploma, like church records.
Um, just having it all in one placenow, it kind of scares me not having
(14:44):
it in like a safe, but there are peoplethat have bigger safes than I do and
I'm, I have thought about putting.
I, you know, leaving everything inmy, in my safe, but having copies
in that book, so it's not theoriginal, but at least it has copies.
And so we have all of theinformation and we know where to
get the originals if we need them.
(15:05):
So that's another option as well.
Um, because a safe, if all of those thingswere in a safe, um, even just like having
the letter of intent or something likethat in a safe with your mom's fire,
you would've known what was going on.
Yeah.
Well, and it's hard 'cause like.
The house burned down and her assetsare just kind of scattered everywhere.
(15:27):
Right.
And they don't really know, they, they'relike trying to make heads or tails
of all the information and whateverpapers they have, they don't even know
like what attorney it was like anyway.
But like, we can't do anything.
Yeah.
There's only so much you can do.
Yeah.
If you don't have the information.
Exactly.
Exactly.
(15:47):
And I'll be honest, when, whenmy husband passed away, probably
like five years after he passedaway, I got rid of his will.
Like, I was like, oh, Idon't need this anymore.
Sure as heck, I needed it a coupleyears later and I don't have it.
Uh oh.
Um, and so that was not a good idea.
Um, and it was, it wasn't a big thing thatI needed for, it's still, it, it's fine,
(16:11):
but I'm like, that wasn't smart of me
ski doodle to do that.
So don't
get rid of those things.
I'm just telling you.
Um, I might be able to find itsomewhere, but it's really hard to
go and find, go to look through allof the documents because it's in his
handwriting and that kind of thing.
Yeah.
At the end of um, November, this lastyear, I decided to get a new tattoo
(16:32):
and I have a tattoo of my maiden nameand my married name on my shoulder.
And my maiden name is in my dad'ssignature, and my married name is
in my husband's, so I had to finda document with my married name.
So it just, I, I love it because it's.
It's a piece of both of them.
I mean, my dad's still alive,but my dad actually can no longer
(16:53):
sign his name because he hadan accident with his left hand.
So he, it was, it wasactually from their will.
Oh.
That, um, that my mom sent me.
'cause I was like, mom,send me a copy of what, um.
Of like dad's signature.
So I have it, and she kind of knew whatI was doing, but when I showed, I made
sure I got the tattoo before my parentscame to visit so I could show my dad.
(17:16):
And he just was like, oh, that'sso cool, that like, I'm like, look,
your signature is permanently on me.
And he was like, oh my goodness.
Okay.
You know, I thought about doingthat 'cause um, I have some cards.
My dad, he had dementia.
Um, okay.
And he, you know, I. You eventuallystop reading and writing.
(17:39):
Yep.
You kind of forget how and um, yep.
I found some old thingsthat were, they wrote to me.
Mm-hmm.
And I wanted to get that somewhere on me,but I haven't, I have a lot of tattoos.
It's kind of hard to figure out whereto, I'm running outta space, but they're
all really meaningful like yours?
(17:59):
Yes.
Beautiful.
I
have, I actually have six andum, but they're all really small.
Oh, my biggest is probably like this big.
That's still, so yeah, someone,um, someone was surprised.
They're like, wait,you have a foot tattoo?
And I was like, I sure do,Howie, I have one on each foot.
I was gonna do
more, but
it
hurts.
I can't.
(18:19):
Yeah.
That was my second one and ittook me like three months to get
a third because that one hurt.
Like.
No other.
Oh.
And they kept trying to tell meto hold still, and I'm like, I
am holding as still as I can.
You're vibrating my wholefoot with this thing.
Yes.
And mine
mine's like right next to my toes.
Um, like that's where, yeah, it, um,it wasn't a smart decision on my heart.
(18:46):
Um, but yeah, never againwill I get the feet.
My first one is on the back of myneck, and again, it's really small.
Yeah.
But they all have special meetings.
It's like that big.
Yeah.
I mean, mine, it was, it's theMalin symbol, so it, it looks like
the infinity symbol, but it's not.
And it just means that you have toface setbacks in order to move forward.
(19:06):
That's true.
And then I
have the, um, semicolon.
And the semicolon, youknow, is I could have it.
A lot of times it's.
It's for suicide awareness, but Ifelt like I could have stopped living
my life, um, after my husband diedand just kind of like lived it.
Through the motion, just,you know, like Bloy.
But I didn't, um, I continued tolive my life, um, as fully as I, you
(19:30):
know, as I could or as I want to.
And then, um, I got, oh, the tri, it's,it's about this big, but it's a Tri
Scion and it means, um, that your past,present, and future are all intertwined.
I truly believe that.
Oh, cool.
And then my, they're,
yeah.
Yeah.
So that was my fourth one is a pineapple.
(19:51):
And people make fun of me because youknow, oh, is it upside down pineapple?
And I'm like, no, it, for me it meansthat, um, a pineapple stands tall.
Mm-hmm.
They wear a crown andthey're sweet on the inside.
So like a hu I have magnet for me.
Yes.
And then I even, I, I have thaton a magnet a student gave me.
'cause I love doll whip.
Yeah.
And I used to say that all the time.
(20:11):
Be a
pineapple.
Yeah.
So the, and that's how I feel too,like be, you know, but I can't be
a pineapple for my steak costumebecause we don't make pineapple,
we don't grow pineapples in Utah.
But, uh, so that, and as well, Ihave words from my favorite band.
It, it stand tall, it gets a littlebetter, so it kind of goes together.
(20:32):
And then I also have, um, thenumber 5 0 7 right behind my ear.
And that is my birthday and is alsolike my angel number 'cause I see
5 0 7 or 57 all over the place.
I really, for a while was trying to getup and meditate at 5 0 7 every morning.
(20:53):
Then I got really tired and Idecided not to do that anymore.
I'm trying to get back to there,and then I have the one with
my, um, with the signatures.
So, yeah, I, I love tattoosthat mean something.
'cause if I'm gonna wear it forever,I don't want like, no offense
to anyone, but I don't want likea Winnie the Poo on my ankle.
(21:14):
You, I mean, no offense to anyone, butI like, I got my first one I think,
I mean, I was over 40, so I think Iwas like maybe 42 for my first one.
So I've gotten all of them after thatin the last like five, six years.
I like to think about it andlike really be like, yeah, if I
(21:35):
have to explain this to somebody,
yes.
Like
what is the significance?
Right.
Well that's the thing is I actuallylike explaining 'em when they're
like, oh, what does 5 0 7 mean?
And I'm like, it's my birthday.
I remember I sent a picture tomy sister with my new tattoo
and she was like, what's 5 0 7?
And I'm like.
My birthday.
My birthday.
She's like, oh, I shouldhave thought about that.
(21:57):
This
is, I don't know if you can see.
Yes, I can see it.
His name is Douglas.
Oh, okay.
It's a Douglas Bry.
Yeah.
And some little mushroomsbecause that is so cool things.
They help, they helpthings grow from the rut.
But I'm from Oregon.
Yes.
And that's our state tree.
Did
you not?
I, I am from Oregon.
(22:17):
No way.
Yes.
And actually my son has a tattooof three pine trees on his
shoulder because he loves Oregon.
Yes.
What part of Oregon?
Um, up by Portland in likea Willamette Valley area.
Okay, well, we'll haveto talk about exactly
where, because I am from that same area.
(22:38):
We're about Zoo, 45 zoos, zoo cans,
zoo pants.
Do you know what zoo pants was?
No, I moved to Utah in 98.
Okay.
And then they, theydisappeared after that.
It was a grocery store.
Oh, yes, yes.
Um, but we are from a little town,um, like 45 minutes west of Portland.
(22:59):
Oh, okay, okay.
In Willamette Valley.
Okay.
Weird.
Do you know where Yamhill County?
Mm-hmm.
In that area.
That's weird.
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
Small.
So my sentence for tattoowas of three pine trees.
And I love to tease him because hissecond one was a dancing piece of gum
(23:21):
and he's like, mom, I reallywanna get this one covered up.
And I said, um, buddy, I don't thinkyou should because this is your,
um, let it represent that moment.
This is, this is representsyou needing to like, listen.
To yourself and not other people.
He's like, yeah, it was alittle bit of a peer pressure.
Mm-hmm.
It was $35 is what he keeps telling me.
And I'm like, well, Iguess that's the reason.
(23:45):
Yeah.
Oh my goodness.
I lost my phone because itwas 30, because it was $35.
That's funny.
Um, my whole leg, so I have a tattoothat goes from my knee and it goes
all the way up to like the middleof my hip and it's my wet flowers.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
And then I have a flower for eachone of my kids and I have two buds
(24:07):
'cause I had two miscarriages.
Oh, okay.
That's really
cool.
I have a butterfly foreach one of my mom's.
Oh, my best friend's mom hadovarian cancer and passed
away like really, really fast.
Mm-hmm.
So she was the first, she was who I wasactually going to go get a tattoo for.
(24:28):
Um, and then I was talking to theartist and it just kept getting bigger
and bigger and bigger and bigger.
But the first part was actually like
somebody was supposed to fixit and they didn't fix it.
And so then I had two artiststattooing me at the same time
to cover it up and fix it.
Oh,
wow.
Yeah.
(24:48):
Oh wow.
I'll show you pictures of that later,but it's been really, really cool.
I love my tattoo shop, but wehave a lot of random connections
like you're Miss Boun and that'swhere I graduated high school and
I used to live up by Mueller Park.
Wow.
Yeah.
Crazy small world.
(25:09):
Yes, definitely is.
What
else do I wanna know about you?
I don't know.
I don't know either.
Your husband passed away decade ago.
That makes me so sad.
Yeah.
But at the same time, you're thriving.
Yes.
Um, so he was in the military, so weactually lived in, um, well, another
cool fact about me though is I hadevery, I had a child in each of the, um.
(25:37):
Uh, states on the West Coast.
So my first was born in Oregon.
One was born in California andone was born in Washington.
Oh my gosh.
It was kind of a cool,yeah, that's kind of cool.
Yeah, so my husband, he lived,um, he was military too.
He did Air Force for five years andthen he did a few years, whatever his
remaining years were reserves, yeah.
(25:58):
Oh, in the guard.
Okay.
Yeah.
But he was up in the.
He was up in Washington,he was born in Germany.
His dad was deployed over there.
So like that.
Yeah.
Military spouse.
Life is hard.
Yes.
And my husband was actually inthe Air Force as well, and we
lived in, when we found out he hadcancer, we actually lived in Japan.
So my, my, my middle child, um,moved to Japan when he was two
(26:23):
months old and we moved back whenhe was two years and two months old.
So I, I was, I wouldalways tease that he had.
Until he was four.
He had lived in Japan longer thanhe lived in the United States.
That is so crazy.
Well, and then my dad, so my dad's dadwas in the Air Force, um, and he was
(26:45):
actually in the Panama Canal in 1942.
Oh wow.
Like when
my dad was being born, born.
So we have have like all these, allthese, this correspondence of like, my
grandma is trying to keep track because,you know, it's her first baby and Oh wow.
She doesn't know where her husbandis or hasn't heard from him and
(27:09):
if he's okay or what's going on.
Like she just hears whatever on theneWirfs and like whatever limited
correspondence she can get wouldcome her way, but we, it just.
There are not very many people thathave lived lives like that anymore.
Like, yeah, it, it makes it like, itmakes you, it, it changes you and it can
(27:31):
change you in a, I mean, it can changeyou in a lot of different ways, but Right.
The resilience.
Yes.
And
I, I will say I lovedbeing a military spouse.
Um, I lived in, like, so from when Igot married in 1989 until I moved to
Utah in 2016, um, I had not lived inone place for more than five years.
(27:57):
Gosh, yeah.
So, yes, so we, the firstyear and a half that we were
married, um, we moved five times.
We were in the same like area,but all different little, um, h
you know, all different houses.
Um, and then we Did you everunpack or did you just give up?
Yeah, well, because, no, no, no, weunpacked 'cause we didn't know we were
(28:19):
gonna be moving so much, you know?
Uh, um, so that was a little different.
Um, and then we movedinto my parents' house.
My parents didn't live there, butthey were, um, they were living in
another state, so we kind of were like.
The caretakers of the house.
And so we moved into my parents'house, um, and took care of it.
And then, um, yeah, then we wentinto the military three years later,
(28:45):
and then we moved every two anda half to three years after that.
And then, yeah, we, we were inour house for three, no, two years
before my husband passed away.
And then the kids and I stayedin there for another two years.
Yeah.
And then we moved here andwe've been here for eight years.
So
what is your favoriteplace that you've lived?
(29:06):
'cause you like Japan and West Coast andlike you kind of have lived all over.
If you could back any,
I loved, I loved Japan.
I would live there again.
Um, the only thing is, is that we livedon a military base, so I would have to
live someplace that, like, I could also beon the, you know, like around Americans.
(29:27):
Not because I don't like the Japanese,but because I don't speak Japanese.
Japanese, some of your
people.
Yeah.
Well, Japanese is a really hard languageto learn, so, um, I know a little bit, but
I, there's no way that, like I am, I don'tthink I could learn it, um, completely.
So I would love to let go,at least visit Japan again.
(29:50):
Yeah.
Um, but I don't know if Ireally wanna live anywhere.
I really do enjoy Utah becauseI like how it has seasons.
Um, Oregon is very hard for me because,um, it's cloudy gets very gloomy.
Yeah.
So it is very, very hard for me, um,which is why I like to come to Utah.
Um, and I always say like, my kidsare like, yeah, but it snoWirfs.
(30:11):
And I'm like, but it cansnow and then be sunny.
So, you know, that's a little different.
Yeah.
Um, so I love that my, when myyoungest who, she's a sophomore this
year when she graduates high school,my goal for that next year still
work because I can work remotely,but it's to go to Europe for like.
Like three to four months and just traveland you know, stay in little, like Airbnbs
(30:36):
over there and like, that'd be so cool.
Um.
Work for like four or five hoursand then go and experience the area.
So that's kind of my goal.
It may have to be the year after shegraduates 'cause I may need, you know,
to save up a little bit more for it.
But that's my goal is just to kindof really, really enjoy my life.
(30:56):
Yeah.
Well we need to live it,
right?
Yes.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Um, my dad always.
What he would go on all thesedifferent business trips, but
he, like, he was adventurous.
Like he hiked Machu Picchu andhe would go whitewater wrapped.
Yeah.
He like would go, I'm not a hiker.
Oh yeah.
No, no, no.
But he would, anything he came backfrom, even if it was a business meeting,
(31:19):
he would just be like, I escapedthe jaWirfs of death one more time.
Right.
So yeah, he was, he justwas all about living.
Like, we're here to live life, notjust sit around and let it pass you by.
Like, I want, I kind of, after my parentspassed, I kind of had this mental shift
of becoming more of an active participantin my life instead of like being a
(31:43):
supporter and being on the sidelines.
Yes.
Like we're important too.
Oh, yes.
I truly believe that, especiallybecause, um, for the last, you
know, five, or excuse me, 11 years.
Mm-hmm.
Um, I have been my kid's only parent.
Um, I always talk about, you know,being an only parent and, um, I needed
(32:05):
to be in the life, not just I need,I need it to be living the life.
Yeah,
so that is, um, that's reallywhat I have like worked very
hard to do, is to live my life.
It takes
a lot of healing to beable to get to a place Yes.
(32:26):
Where you feel safe enough to do that.
Yes.
And it's been a lot of years, um,and therapy to be able to get there.
Yes.
I love therapy so much.
Oh my goodness.
But it's been a lot to get there.
Yeah.
Well, and it like I can tell, um, I mean,we talk about resiliency and we just
(32:51):
talk about like the bounce back part.
Mm-hmm.
We forget to talk aboutthe part where you're down.
Yeah.
Because sometimes.
You, you have to talk about where you getknocked down so you can bounce back up.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And it's okay to lay down and take alittle rest down there if you need to.
Yes, man, you were so cool.
(33:14):
I'm so excited.
Oh, that we gotta chat like.
Holy smokes.
It's, it's cool to get to knowsome more of the Miss contestants.
This, I think is the main way that I'mgonna be able to get to chat with you guys
probably.
Yeah, and I'm really, I'm very, um,glad that I'll, you know, I. That a
(33:35):
lot of the misses, contestants havekind of helped me out in, in ways
because we went to that adult prom.
Yeah.
And I was the only miss that was there.
And I was like, oh, am Igonna be all by myself?
But there were so many of you that justlike included me and made me feel special.
And that was what was most important.
I mean, obviously in the slowsongs, I went and sat down.
(33:57):
But other than that, it was great.
It's really funny.
Um, I was dancing with.
I grabbed Michelle and I wasdancing with her for one of them.
'cause it was like a suddenswitch and we were all the way
on the other side of the room.
So I was just like, comehere, come on Michael.
We just dance.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
But I think, and in talking to someof the other people that, um, 'cause
(34:22):
we're all feeling nervous, we're alllike, oh my gosh, it's really happening.
It's coming.
Like in a couple weeks we're gonnahave to be like, ready to go.
Um, and that pan like.
There's panic.
That's okay.
That's fine.
We're all feeling that.
But at the same time, like I meantit when I said the sisterhood
doesn't end when the pageant is over.
Yeah.
Because we do have, thereis a pageant hangover.
(34:45):
Um.
Because you do so much work and thenyou get there and then it's over.
Mm-hmm.
And there's only so many people thatare gonna get the crown, um, right.
But afterwards, you keep your titleand you can keep showing up and
going to all this other stuff and youget first pick on if you want that
title again, when I know that's whatI'm to roll around excited about.
(35:08):
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's definitely what I'm excited about.
And honestly, you wannaknow something silly.
What?
Um.
After, even if I win, I mean, not sayingI'm going, I'm going to, but like even if
I do win, no matter what, um, after it,I'm going to the Kelsey Ballerina concert.
Yeah.
Like, I'm gonna go in full makeup,I'll change my clothes, but I'm
(35:29):
gonna go in full pageant makeup.
Oh my gosh.
And no, I'm talking, it's thatnight, so I It's that night.
Yes.
It's that night my friend.
As soon as the pageant's over, myfriend is gonna go and, um, and
then I'll get all of my stuff andI'll go separate the getaway car.
Yeah.
I'm gonna go separately from them, butlike I, um, I know that usually that,
(35:52):
'cause I've been to enough concerts and atthe Delta Center usually the, um, opening
act doesn't go on until like 9, 9 15.
So I have time to run down there.
It's totally fine.
Oh my gosh.
Kelsey Ballerini has beengetting me through, um, some hard
times, so I wanna go see her.
You have to
(36:12):
go and then like, you know thatmakeup isn't gonna go anywhere.
No.
It's, it's gonna be like there andeveryone's gonna be like, what the heck?
Who is this lady?
I woke up like that.
Yeah.
I'm gonna be back.
I, yes.
I might even wear my sash.
We'll see, I
think you should
just
take, go in your gown.
Don't even, um, just kidding.
I probably, I probably could.
(36:32):
I probably could.
I honestly, after the pageant,I wanna take my gown to, I
wanna go to the salt flax.
Flats and get pictures therebecause I just love my gown.
I almost cried.
I almost cried when I found it.
And I have like a funstory about, about my gown.
Um, I actually got it at, um, I don't knowif you've ever been to Thrive Boutique.
(36:56):
It's like this.
Little, um, thrift store,
um,
downtown Salt Lake and it's on 900South and it has like upscale, um,
high end, um, pieces for um, yeah,different gowns and everything.
And it was not a gown that Ithought that I would love, and she
(37:19):
just pulled it just in case and.
I tried it on and I was like, this is it.
This is it.
And it was like $70.
What?
But it is like a MacDougal.
I know that's a high-end brand.
Yeah.
So I just knew that it was likea nice brand, but I love it.
And that hot pink one that I,um, that I wore to the prom,
(37:42):
it was from the same place.
Oh yeah, I remember you telling me now.
Okay.
I am lucky.
Yeah.
And I love, like it is thefunnest place to go to.
They have like more high-endthings and all of the pieces
are curated for their store.
Um, so yeah, I just love my dress.
It's like my absolute favorite.
(38:03):
What is really funny is thepictures I just got done at.
The Capitol building.
Yeah.
The dress looks green in the pictures, butit's like a dark blue, so I'm like, oh,
I could definitely post these separately.
'cause no one would knowit's the same dress.
'cause it looks likeit's a different color.
Yeah.
They throw a filter on sometimesthat makes the color like, yeah.
(38:24):
But wow.
I was told I'm totally okay with itbecause the, just the color makes
it look like a completely differentdress than what it really is.
Ooh.
But those pictures, I waslike sending 'em to people.
Like, look how pretty I am.
I
did
the same thing.
I did the same thing.
I'm
like, they like some of them are go andbecause it kind of like it floWirfs.
(38:45):
It's not like a tight fitting'cause that doesn't fit with
my body type, but it floWirfs.
And so I had, I was like flingingit up and like having my arm come
down and, oh, it looks so pretty.
Oh,
see, I'm stuck on my actual evening gown.
Like you saw me workingon my costume earlier.
I have all these different gowns.
(39:05):
And I thought for sure that Iwas gonna do this one that has
like a butterfly on the back.
Yeah, I thought that.
I remember you talking about that.
Yeah.
Well now everyone's likethat's a little juvenile.
Like maybe we need to be alittle whatever grown up.
No, I don't.
I don't think it's juvenile
Comes with your, my whole whatever.
(39:27):
I found something maybethat I don't know yet.
'cause I'm a little squishy.
For the dress.
Oh, it's someone else's dress.
I love how you say I'mlittle, little squishy.
I could make it work, but like Idefinitely look a little bit like I've
been shoved into a sausage casing, soI need to not eat all the ice cream
(39:47):
I've been eating if I want that dress.
But then there's another dress that likeit could just wash me out is the problem.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you never, you never know, like,I, I love this dress and I'm wearing,
this is the dress I'm wearing.
So that's all that wear.
I mean, if you want take it to thecon go, that dress needs to be seen.
(40:11):
Yes, it definitely does.
It definitely, definitely does.
Well, I have had so muchfun talking with you.
I actually, I'm two minutes late toanother call that I'm supposed to be on.
I'm
so sorry.
Kay.
Do not be sorry.
End my thing.
I'm gonna end my thing.
And will you just tell uswhere you want us to find you?
You know what, the easiest way to to findanything about me is kimberly wfs.com
(40:33):
and that is K-I-M-B-E-R-L-Y-W-I-R-F,like Frank, S like sam.com.
Okay, perfect.
I can't tell that I've beenspelling that for years.
I mean, you've gotta makesure they get it right.
Yes, yes.
Well, and I'm sure you willdefinitely put that in the show notes.
Yeah, we'll have it in your show notes.
(40:54):
Yeah.
But thank you so much forbeing You're welcome here.
Take care of yourself.
It's a crazy world out there.
Yes.
I've loved it.
Thank you so
much.
Bye.
Okay, bye.
I'm gonna stop the recording.
hello everyone and welcome to the innerworkings of the not so genius mind.
I am the not so genius, Amanda McCombs,and I'm here with my friend Kimberly
Wirfs, and she is our Miss Bountiful,um, for the Mrs. Utah American Pageant
happening at the end of this month.
Kimberly is a business owner,widow, and mother of three.
(00:25):
She believes in empowering others toembrace resilience and preparedness.
Life can change in an instant andbeing ready makes all the difference.
Hi.
Hello.
So good to chat with you today.
So good to chat.
We were just talking a littlebit earlier before we hit record
'cause we haven't really beenable to get to know each other.
(00:46):
There's like so many other ladiesand you're on the miss side of
things and I'm on the misses.
And while we're doing the same thing,it's just like a tiny bit different.
Yes, it definitely is.
And we haven't, and well, whilethere's like six of us misses
now, um, there's a lot more, orexcuse me, miss, uh, yeah, miss.
That sounded, that's so hard.
(01:06):
Miss category.
Yeah, there we go.
Um, there are a lot more missesin the category, you know,
in the, in that category.
So sometimes, um, it's a little bitharder to get to know, you know,
across the categories, but also.
Extremely excited to spend a wholeweekend with all of you ladies.
(01:28):
Um, I'm a little nervous.
I, if I, if I don't say I'm so myself.
Um, but, you know, I'm justexcited to have the experience.
Oh man.
So last year was my first yearcompeting and immediately when it was
done, like I knew it wasn't gonna win.
Are you kidding me?
I had no idea what I was doing.
And, um, right when it was done, Iwanted to do it again, just 'cause like.
(01:53):
The relationships that youform and how much you grow.
It isn't just about being pretty andwalking on a stage, like it's brave.
It takes bravery to do that, especially'cause with so many contestants
now we have a lot of people in theaudience that we're not gonna know.
Right.
Ugh.
Um, so how, 'cause this is my second year.
(02:17):
You've never done apageant before, have you?
I have never done a pageant.
And honestly, when I first started Iwas like, I re, well, it was at like a
Christmas party that we were all at andsomeone said something about competing
again, and I was like, wait a minute,if I don't win, I can do it again.
And they were like, yeah.
And I'm like, yes.
Okay.
(02:38):
So my whole plan was to go in, havefun, enjoy, um, the whole process,
get to know the ladies, and then.
Compete again next year.
So that has been my plan,just to have fun and enjoy it.
Kind of get the pageant under my beltand then, um, compete again next year.
(02:59):
Um, that's good idea.
That's, yeah, that's, that's my exciting
part.
I was just talking to, there's,um, 'cause that's my second year.
Like, I don't, I don't know.
I don't know a lot.
There's people that have donepageants for years and years
and years and they're doing it.
Um.
But we were just talking about howthe next time we get all together,
it's gonna be pageant weekend.
(03:20):
Like, yes, we're gonna be havingour slumber party and we're gonna be
doing our dress rehearsal, and we'reactually gonna be like, on the stage?
Stage, yes.
Doing our
dance.
Like, ah, well, and I wasn't there lastweekend because I, I had a retreat that
I had already, that I had like alreadypaid for before I joined the pageant.
(03:42):
So I wasn't, and.
I know that February 28th and March1st are right next to each other, but
for some reason I didn't think thatthey were right next to each other.
It kind of seems like it shouldbe like a totally different week.
Yes, it does.
It does.
So I, um, yeah, so I wasn't there lastweekend and luckily one of the Mrs.
(04:04):
Contestants lives up near where I do,up in, uh, like, uh, Davis County.
So then I will be able to practicewith them because I am utterly lost.
Yeah.
And the dancing and theheels is scaring me today.
Um, yeah, I think I'm switchingmy shoes actually for the dance.
'cause like, it's fast.
(04:26):
Don't tell me that it's fast.
Well, it's just, I amdoing the ballroom part.
Okay.
And so I have to do like someextra chacha, like whatever stuff.
Oh yeah.
I
don't have to worry about that stuff.
It's fast.
And my shoes are like theteeny tiny pokey heel.
So I mean,
(04:48):
I did get a shorter wouldthe one shorter hill.
I did get a shorter heel and it's a littlebit thicker because I tried the short
hill with like this little spike and I waslike, Nope, this isn't gonna work for me.
'cause I'm not usually if I wearheels, it's like a thick, chunky heel.
So, yeah.
Well, and
it doesn't gonna have
to look like everyone else's like it.
(05:08):
Oh.
You need to be comfortableand you need to be confident.
'cause if you're not, they'll know.
Yes.
Yes.
And that's where I just haveto practice walking in them.
I'm honestly am not scared.
I know this is gonna soundstrange, but I am so not scared
in walking around in the swimsuit.
Like I have the confidence to walk.
I mean, I'm like, whatever.
(05:29):
You know, it's a swimsuit.
Did you grab your swimsuit already?
Yes, I did.
Um, I haven't tried mine on allthe way, but I. I'm a fan of the
material so far because I had toone last year I did have to go
upside upside.
Me too.
Me too.
Um, the one last year was a differentcompany and it was cheaper material
(05:51):
and I went to where one time after thepageant and the seams already were like,
oh, they weren't gonna hold my girls.
Yeah.
Well, I will say that I did have to goup a size because of the chest area.
Yeah.
But going up in a size, then it, I haveto have my, um, alterations lady adjust.
Just like shorten the straps.
(06:12):
Yeah.
Because they're justa little bit too long.
And those cups that theyput in swimsuits are crazy.
Why I need to have her adjust that too.
Because it just doesn't not work.
No, it doesn't work.
Who?
No, I
don't know.
No, I don't know.
And they, they like alwaysget all folded and crumbly.
Yes.
And they don't like either sew them inand give it shape and make them stay put.
(06:36):
Yes.
Or don't do it,
or don't even have them.
Yeah.
And I will say like.
I am bigger in that area and theyare made for like a smaller, per a
person that's smaller in that area.
And I'm like, that's, you know, theyneed to be like double the size.
It's
not one size fits.
Oh no
it's not.
(06:57):
Oh man, it is not.
Well this is so cool.
Um, you have your website Yes.
Which I want you to like,I want make one for me.
Um.
We'll talk about that.
Do you want me to tell
you about the life binder?
Is that what you want me to talk about?
Well, I, yeah, because I kind of wannatell me about your platform because every
(07:17):
contestant has a platform and we havelike have to make it part of what we
eat and live and breathe for a minute.
So you just publish this life.
It's Life's Essential Binder.
Essential binder.
Yes.
And I was actually already eat andbreathing this before the pageant.
Yeah.
And so I was like, oh, I hopethat this can work together.
(07:38):
Yes.
'cause I am a widow.
My husband, um, passed away 11 and ahalf years ago, almost 12 years ago.
Um, he, after a five deal ba year battlewith stage four young lung cancer.
Cannot talk today.
And um, we were young.
We were both young.
He was 37.
Um, and it was like two weeks aftermy birthday when he passed away.
(08:00):
God.
So he, um, yeah.
So I just feel like everybodyshould be prepared for life
altering, life changing events.
And after talking.
To a lot of friends and even familymembers, um, they realize, you know, they
didn't have all of their things together.
They don't have a will, they don'thave, you know, different things.
(08:21):
And I'm not saying you have tohave a will, but it's, but if
you do, do you know where it is?
You know, not everybodyeven knoWirfs that too.
Um, and so what I have made is this binderhas all of these things, um, in one place.
So like your, um, if there's aplace and they have folders, so
there's a place for your, actuallyI have an example of one of them.
(08:46):
Yeah.
Let me take this stuff out of it.
But this is what it looks like.
So this will be the folder.
Oh, okay.
And then there's a paper in theresaying what to put in there.
But I'm really particularabout how binders lay.
So it has the Velcro ones here.
There'll be one in the middleand then one over here.
So they all lay nicely.
So it's not like,
(09:07):
yeah, so it's not like this.
I like it.
I like it because I'm a littleparticular, so they have, um, yeah, so
wine will have like birth certificatesand then social security cards and,
um, marriage license or mar, youknow, um, and I even put a place for.
Divorce decrees and I mean, 'causeyou never know, like people have
(09:28):
may or may not have these things.
And so there's all different thing,there's all different spots to have.
There's are some thingsthat you just write in.
Um, for example, likeyour health insurance.
Um, you can put your card in there,but also you can write the information
in and write in the doctor's name.
Um, there's a spot for your visit.
Vision insurance and also like, you know,you can put your prescriptions in there
(09:51):
because when you go to get a prescription.
Or if you order, even if you order onlinelike a, like a glasses prescription, the,
the glasses place doesn't usually keep it.
They take the information, but theydon't keep the, um, prescription
and it doesn't expire for two years.
So you need to make sure you keep that,um, so that there's a place to keep that.
(10:12):
And then it has like differentinformation when it has the medical
information, but also, um, informationwhen it comes to like the, um.
The, oh, what am I trying to say?
Oh, when you leave and you havelike your parents, watch your kids.
So, um, and give that authorization to beable to like take them to the hospital.
(10:35):
Now, in my case, I would give thatauthorization to my older son because
he's 24 and the other one's 19.
So if I were to leave for the weekend,which I should have probably done
this last weekend, but like, I'dgive them the authorization to take.
Their little sister and then allthey would need to do, 'cause
she's 16, all they need to dois just take the whole binder.
It would have all ofthe information in it.
(10:56):
It would have the, like what her birthcertificate is and all of the information.
There's also, in my case, uh, aplace to put a death certificate.
So then you always have that.
Um, and then I've also am includedwhat is called a letter of intent.
And that is for you.
There's instructions and everything inthere too, but that's for you to fill
(11:18):
out, especially if you don't have a will.
But, you know, there are things thateven a will, doesn't take care of,
but how you want to be buried, howyou, um, all, you know, like how
you want your funeral to look like.
Um, I wish I had that information.
From my husband.
Um, and I feel like I did a goodjob, but I really do wish I had
(11:39):
that information from my husband.
And I know some people are like, oh, Idon't wanna think about that because then,
um, you know, something bad might happen.
But I'm a firm believer if you areprepared, you'll never have to use it.
So I try to be preparedso I don't have to use it.
Well, and like if you do have touse it, it just makes your life.
(11:59):
Easier.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
Um, my, so both of myparents have passed away.
Um, okay.
They were, I'm the youngest of seven.
Just to give you like a quick rundown.
Yes.
So my parents were older, right.
Um, my dad just passed inNovember and my mom passed.
(12:21):
The previous August, solike over a year ago.
Um, so
they both were in the last like two years.
Yeah.
But my mom, so like they both, they weredivorced, they married other people.
My dad had everything puttogether ready to go, kind of.
(12:43):
But even then it stilllike took time to like,
yes.
Put things together because itwasn't necessarily all in one place.
Right.
Um, my mom's house had burneddown six months before.
Oh my goodness.
So like her house burned down and thensix months later she passed away and
(13:05):
they were like going through and tryingto find things and like get records
and stuff and, you know, pulling outwhatever things you can, but like.
We didn't know anything about howshe wanted to be buried and then we
couldn't find an updated will we, likewe couldn't, we didn't have any of that.
Yeah.
And so the funeral that was put togetherwas not what she would've wanted.
(13:30):
'cause my stepdad planned itand didn't really, we didn't
get much involvement in it.
And then my dad's, we were.
More involved.
Like with my stepdad, it was likeher life didn't start until they met.
Mm-hmm.
And it did.
So it was just, yeah, it did.
There was a whole other lifetimebefore that, so it's just crazy.
(13:55):
But like I was noticing the drasticdifference between the two, like
being ready and being prepared versuslike not having anything or only
having any everything digitally.
Yeah.
And not having a paper record and notbeing able to, like, how are you gonna
give all this information to anybodythat is responsible for your life, right?
(14:20):
Mm-hmm.
And I didn't think like half thestuff that you listed, I would've
not have thought to put in there.
Well,
and there's even more.
Um, there's even more information I, youknow, talk about like school, um, records.
'cause I have a friend, like diploma,college diploma, like church records.
Um, just having it all in one placenow, it kind of scares me not having
(14:44):
it in like a safe, but there are peoplethat have bigger safes than I do and
I'm, I have thought about putting.
I, you know, leaving everything inmy, in my safe, but having copies
in that book, so it's not theoriginal, but at least it has copies.
And so we have all of theinformation and we know where to
get the originals if we need them.
(15:05):
So that's another option as well.
Um, because a safe, if all of those thingswere in a safe, um, even just like having
the letter of intent or something likethat in a safe with your mom's fire,
you would've known what was going on.
Yeah.
Well, and it's hard 'cause like.
The house burned down and her assetsare just kind of scattered everywhere.
(15:27):
Right.
And they don't really know, they, they'relike trying to make heads or tails
of all the information and whateverpapers they have, they don't even know
like what attorney it was like anyway.
But like, we can't do anything.
Yeah.
There's only so much you can do.
Yeah.
If you don't have the information.
Exactly.
Exactly.
(15:47):
And I'll be honest, when, whenmy husband passed away, probably
like five years after he passedaway, I got rid of his will.
Like, I was like, oh, Idon't need this anymore.
Sure as heck, I needed it a coupleyears later and I don't have it.
Uh oh.
Um, and so that was not a good idea.
Um, and it was, it wasn't a big thing thatI needed for, it's still, it, it's fine,
(16:11):
but I'm like, that wasn't smart of me
ski doodle to do that.
So don't
get rid of those things.
I'm just telling you.
Um, I might be able to find itsomewhere, but it's really hard to
go and find, go to look through allof the documents because it's in his
handwriting and that kind of thing.
Yeah.
At the end of um, November, this lastyear, I decided to get a new tattoo
(16:32):
and I have a tattoo of my maiden nameand my married name on my shoulder.
And my maiden name is in my dad'ssignature, and my married name is
in my husband's, so I had to finda document with my married name.
So it just, I, I love it because it's.
It's a piece of both of them.
I mean, my dad's still alive,but my dad actually can no longer
(16:53):
sign his name because he hadan accident with his left hand.
So he, it was, it wasactually from their will.
Oh.
That, um, that my mom sent me.
'cause I was like, mom,send me a copy of what, um.
Of like dad's signature.
So I have it, and she kind of knew whatI was doing, but when I showed, I made
sure I got the tattoo before my parentscame to visit so I could show my dad.
(17:16):
And he just was like, oh, that'sso cool, that like, I'm like, look,
your signature is permanently on me.
And he was like, oh my goodness.
Okay.
You know, I thought about doingthat 'cause um, I have some cards.
My dad, he had dementia.
Um, okay.
And he, you know, I. You eventuallystop reading and writing.
(17:39):
Yep.
You kind of forget how and um, yep.
I found some old thingsthat were, they wrote to me.
Mm-hmm.
And I wanted to get that somewhere on me,but I haven't, I have a lot of tattoos.
It's kind of hard to figure out whereto, I'm running outta space, but they're
all really meaningful like yours?
(17:59):
Yes.
Beautiful.
I
have, I actually have six andum, but they're all really small.
Oh, my biggest is probably like this big.
That's still, so yeah, someone,um, someone was surprised.
They're like, wait,you have a foot tattoo?
And I was like, I sure do,Howie, I have one on each foot.
I was gonna do
more, but
it
hurts.
I can't.
(18:19):
Yeah.
That was my second one and ittook me like three months to get
a third because that one hurt.
Like.
No other.
Oh.
And they kept trying to tell meto hold still, and I'm like, I
am holding as still as I can.
You're vibrating my wholefoot with this thing.
Yes.
And mine
mine's like right next to my toes.
Um, like that's where, yeah, it, um,it wasn't a smart decision on my heart.
(18:46):
Um, but yeah, never againwill I get the feet.
My first one is on the back of myneck, and again, it's really small.
Yeah.
But they all have special meetings.
It's like that big.
Yeah.
I mean, mine, it was, it's theMalin symbol, so it, it looks like
the infinity symbol, but it's not.
And it just means that you have toface setbacks in order to move forward.
(19:06):
That's true.
And then I
have the, um, semicolon.
And the semicolon, youknow, is I could have it.
A lot of times it's.
It's for suicide awareness, but Ifelt like I could have stopped living
my life, um, after my husband diedand just kind of like lived it.
Through the motion, just,you know, like Bloy.
But I didn't, um, I continued tolive my life, um, as fully as I, you
(19:30):
know, as I could or as I want to.
And then, um, I got, oh, the tri, it's,it's about this big, but it's a Tri
Scion and it means, um, that your past,present, and future are all intertwined.
I truly believe that.
Oh, cool.
And then my, they're,
yeah.
Yeah.
So that was my fourth one is a pineapple.
(19:51):
And people make fun of me because youknow, oh, is it upside down pineapple?
And I'm like, no, it, for me it meansthat, um, a pineapple stands tall.
Mm-hmm.
They wear a crown andthey're sweet on the inside.
So like a hu I have magnet for me.
Yes.
And then I even, I, I have thaton a magnet a student gave me.
'cause I love doll whip.
Yeah.
And I used to say that all the time.
(20:11):
Be a
pineapple.
Yeah.
So the, and that's how I feel too,like be, you know, but I can't be
a pineapple for my steak costumebecause we don't make pineapple,
we don't grow pineapples in Utah.
But, uh, so that, and as well, Ihave words from my favorite band.
It, it stand tall, it gets a littlebetter, so it kind of goes together.
(20:32):
And then I also have, um, thenumber 5 0 7 right behind my ear.
And that is my birthday and is alsolike my angel number 'cause I see
5 0 7 or 57 all over the place.
I really, for a while was trying to getup and meditate at 5 0 7 every morning.
(20:53):
Then I got really tired and Idecided not to do that anymore.
I'm trying to get back to there,and then I have the one with
my, um, with the signatures.
So, yeah, I, I love tattoosthat mean something.
'cause if I'm gonna wear it forever,I don't want like, no offense
to anyone, but I don't want likea Winnie the Poo on my ankle.
(21:14):
You, I mean, no offense to anyone, butI like, I got my first one I think,
I mean, I was over 40, so I think Iwas like maybe 42 for my first one.
So I've gotten all of them after thatin the last like five, six years.
I like to think about it andlike really be like, yeah, if I
(21:35):
have to explain this to somebody,
yes.
Like
what is the significance?
Right.
Well that's the thing is I actuallylike explaining 'em when they're
like, oh, what does 5 0 7 mean?
And I'm like, it's my birthday.
I remember I sent a picture tomy sister with my new tattoo
and she was like, what's 5 0 7?
And I'm like.
My birthday.
My birthday.
She's like, oh, I shouldhave thought about that.
(21:57):
This
is, I don't know if you can see.
Yes, I can see it.
His name is Douglas.
Oh, okay.
It's a Douglas Bry.
Yeah.
And some little mushroomsbecause that is so cool things.
They help, they helpthings grow from the rut.
But I'm from Oregon.
Yes.
And that's our state tree.
Did
you not?
I, I am from Oregon.
(22:17):
No way.
Yes.
And actually my son has a tattooof three pine trees on his
shoulder because he loves Oregon.
Yes.
What part of Oregon?
Um, up by Portland in likea Willamette Valley area.
Okay, well, we'll haveto talk about exactly
where, because I am from that same area.
(22:38):
We're about Zoo, 45 zoos, zoo cans,
zoo pants.
Do you know what zoo pants was?
No, I moved to Utah in 98.
Okay.
And then they, theydisappeared after that.
It was a grocery store.
Oh, yes, yes.
Um, but we are from a little town,um, like 45 minutes west of Portland.
(22:59):
Oh, okay, okay.
In Willamette Valley.
Okay.
Weird.
Do you know where Yamhill County?
Mm-hmm.
In that area.
That's weird.
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
Small.
So my sentence for tattoowas of three pine trees.
And I love to tease him because hissecond one was a dancing piece of gum
(23:21):
and he's like, mom, I reallywanna get this one covered up.
And I said, um, buddy, I don't thinkyou should because this is your,
um, let it represent that moment.
This is, this is representsyou needing to like, listen.
To yourself and not other people.
He's like, yeah, it was alittle bit of a peer pressure.
Mm-hmm.
It was $35 is what he keeps telling me.
And I'm like, well, Iguess that's the reason.
(23:45):
Yeah.
Oh my goodness.
I lost my phone because itwas 30, because it was $35.
That's funny.
Um, my whole leg, so I have a tattoothat goes from my knee and it goes
all the way up to like the middleof my hip and it's my wet flowers.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
And then I have a flower for eachone of my kids and I have two buds
(24:07):
'cause I had two miscarriages.
Oh, okay.
That's really
cool.
I have a butterfly foreach one of my mom's.
Oh, my best friend's mom hadovarian cancer and passed
away like really, really fast.
Mm-hmm.
So she was the first, she was who I wasactually going to go get a tattoo for.
(24:28):
Um, and then I was talking to theartist and it just kept getting bigger
and bigger and bigger and bigger.
But the first part was actually like
somebody was supposed to fixit and they didn't fix it.
And so then I had two artiststattooing me at the same time
to cover it up and fix it.
Oh,
wow.
Yeah.
(24:48):
Oh wow.
I'll show you pictures of that later,but it's been really, really cool.
I love my tattoo shop, but wehave a lot of random connections
like you're Miss Boun and that'swhere I graduated high school and
I used to live up by Mueller Park.
Wow.
Yeah.
Crazy small world.
(25:09):
Yes, definitely is.
What
else do I wanna know about you?
I don't know.
I don't know either.
Your husband passed away decade ago.
That makes me so sad.
Yeah.
But at the same time, you're thriving.
Yes.
Um, so he was in the military, so weactually lived in, um, well, another
cool fact about me though is I hadevery, I had a child in each of the, um.
(25:37):
Uh, states on the West Coast.
So my first was born in Oregon.
One was born in California andone was born in Washington.
Oh my gosh.
It was kind of a cool,yeah, that's kind of cool.
Yeah, so my husband, he lived,um, he was military too.
He did Air Force for five years andthen he did a few years, whatever his
remaining years were reserves, yeah.
(25:58):
Oh, in the guard.
Okay.
Yeah.
But he was up in the.
He was up in Washington,he was born in Germany.
His dad was deployed over there.
So like that.
Yeah.
Military spouse.
Life is hard.
Yes.
And my husband was actually inthe Air Force as well, and we
lived in, when we found out he hadcancer, we actually lived in Japan.
So my, my, my middle child, um,moved to Japan when he was two
(26:23):
months old and we moved back whenhe was two years and two months old.
So I, I was, I wouldalways tease that he had.
Until he was four.
He had lived in Japan longer thanhe lived in the United States.
That is so crazy.
Well, and then my dad, so my dad's dadwas in the Air Force, um, and he was
(26:45):
actually in the Panama Canal in 1942.
Oh wow.
Like when
my dad was being born, born.
So we have have like all these, allthese, this correspondence of like, my
grandma is trying to keep track because,you know, it's her first baby and Oh wow.
She doesn't know where her husbandis or hasn't heard from him and
(27:09):
if he's okay or what's going on.
Like she just hears whatever on theneWirfs and like whatever limited
correspondence she can get wouldcome her way, but we, it just.
There are not very many people thathave lived lives like that anymore.
Like, yeah, it, it makes it like, itmakes you, it, it changes you and it can
(27:31):
change you in a, I mean, it can changeyou in a lot of different ways, but Right.
The resilience.
Yes.
And
I, I will say I lovedbeing a military spouse.
Um, I lived in, like, so from when Igot married in 1989 until I moved to
Utah in 2016, um, I had not lived inone place for more than five years.
(27:57):
Gosh, yeah.
So, yes, so we, the firstyear and a half that we were
married, um, we moved five times.
We were in the same like area,but all different little, um, h
you know, all different houses.
Um, and then we Did you everunpack or did you just give up?
Yeah, well, because, no, no, no, weunpacked 'cause we didn't know we were
(28:19):
gonna be moving so much, you know?
Uh, um, so that was a little different.
Um, and then we movedinto my parents' house.
My parents didn't live there, butthey were, um, they were living in
another state, so we kind of were like.
The caretakers of the house.
And so we moved into my parents'house, um, and took care of it.
And then, um, yeah, then we wentinto the military three years later,
(28:45):
and then we moved every two anda half to three years after that.
And then, yeah, we, we were inour house for three, no, two years
before my husband passed away.
And then the kids and I stayedin there for another two years.
Yeah.
And then we moved here andwe've been here for eight years.
So
what is your favoriteplace that you've lived?
(29:06):
'cause you like Japan and West Coast andlike you kind of have lived all over.
If you could back any,
I loved, I loved Japan.
I would live there again.
Um, the only thing is, is that we livedon a military base, so I would have to
live someplace that, like, I could also beon the, you know, like around Americans.
(29:27):
Not because I don't like the Japanese,but because I don't speak Japanese.
Japanese, some of your
people.
Yeah.
Well, Japanese is a really hard languageto learn, so, um, I know a little bit, but
I, there's no way that, like I am, I don'tthink I could learn it, um, completely.
So I would love to let go,at least visit Japan again.
(29:50):
Yeah.
Um, but I don't know if Ireally wanna live anywhere.
I really do enjoy Utah becauseI like how it has seasons.
Um, Oregon is very hard for me because,um, it's cloudy gets very gloomy.
Yeah.
So it is very, very hard for me, um,which is why I like to come to Utah.
Um, and I always say like, my kidsare like, yeah, but it snoWirfs.
(30:11):
And I'm like, but it cansnow and then be sunny.
So, you know, that's a little different.
Yeah.
Um, so I love that my, when myyoungest who, she's a sophomore this
year when she graduates high school,my goal for that next year still
work because I can work remotely,but it's to go to Europe for like.
Like three to four months and just traveland you know, stay in little, like Airbnbs
(30:36):
over there and like, that'd be so cool.
Um.
Work for like four or five hoursand then go and experience the area.
So that's kind of my goal.
It may have to be the year after shegraduates 'cause I may need, you know,
to save up a little bit more for it.
But that's my goal is just to kindof really, really enjoy my life.
(30:56):
Yeah.
Well we need to live it,
right?
Yes.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Um, my dad always.
What he would go on all thesedifferent business trips, but
he, like, he was adventurous.
Like he hiked Machu Picchu andhe would go whitewater wrapped.
Yeah.
He like would go, I'm not a hiker.
Oh yeah.
No, no, no.
But he would, anything he came backfrom, even if it was a business meeting,
(31:19):
he would just be like, I escapedthe jaWirfs of death one more time.
Right.
So yeah, he was, he justwas all about living.
Like, we're here to live life, notjust sit around and let it pass you by.
Like, I want, I kind of, after my parentspassed, I kind of had this mental shift
of becoming more of an active participantin my life instead of like being a
(31:43):
supporter and being on the sidelines.
Yes.
Like we're important too.
Oh, yes.
I truly believe that, especiallybecause, um, for the last, you
know, five, or excuse me, 11 years.
Mm-hmm.
Um, I have been my kid's only parent.
Um, I always talk about, you know,being an only parent and, um, I needed
(32:05):
to be in the life, not just I need,I need it to be living the life.
Yeah,
so that is, um, that's reallywhat I have like worked very
hard to do, is to live my life.
It takes
a lot of healing to beable to get to a place Yes.
(32:26):
Where you feel safe enough to do that.
Yes.
And it's been a lot of years, um,and therapy to be able to get there.
Yes.
I love therapy so much.
Oh my goodness.
But it's been a lot to get there.
Yeah.
Well, and it like I can tell, um, I mean,we talk about resiliency and we just
(32:51):
talk about like the bounce back part.
Mm-hmm.
We forget to talk aboutthe part where you're down.
Yeah.
Because sometimes.
You, you have to talk about where you getknocked down so you can bounce back up.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And it's okay to lay down and take alittle rest down there if you need to.
Yes, man, you were so cool.
(33:14):
I'm so excited.
Oh, that we gotta chat like.
Holy smokes.
It's, it's cool to get to knowsome more of the Miss contestants.
This, I think is the main way that I'mgonna be able to get to chat with you guys
probably.
Yeah, and I'm really, I'm very, um,glad that I'll, you know, I. That a
(33:35):
lot of the misses, contestants havekind of helped me out in, in ways
because we went to that adult prom.
Yeah.
And I was the only miss that was there.
And I was like, oh, am Igonna be all by myself?
But there were so many of you that justlike included me and made me feel special.
And that was what was most important.
I mean, obviously in the slowsongs, I went and sat down.
(33:57):
But other than that, it was great.
It's really funny.
Um, I was dancing with.
I grabbed Michelle and I wasdancing with her for one of them.
'cause it was like a suddenswitch and we were all the way
on the other side of the room.
So I was just like, comehere, come on Michael.
We just dance.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
But I think, and in talking to someof the other people that, um, 'cause
(34:22):
we're all feeling nervous, we're alllike, oh my gosh, it's really happening.
It's coming.
Like in a couple weeks we're gonnahave to be like, ready to go.
Um, and that pan like.
There's panic.
That's okay.
That's fine.
We're all feeling that.
But at the same time, like I meantit when I said the sisterhood
doesn't end when the pageant is over.
Yeah.
Because we do have, thereis a pageant hangover.
(34:45):
Um.
Because you do so much work and thenyou get there and then it's over.
Mm-hmm.
And there's only so many people thatare gonna get the crown, um, right.
But afterwards, you keep your titleand you can keep showing up and
going to all this other stuff and youget first pick on if you want that
title again, when I know that's whatI'm to roll around excited about.
(35:08):
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's definitely what I'm excited about.
And honestly, you wannaknow something silly.
What?
Um.
After, even if I win, I mean, not sayingI'm going, I'm going to, but like even if
I do win, no matter what, um, after it,I'm going to the Kelsey Ballerina concert.
Yeah.
Like, I'm gonna go in full makeup,I'll change my clothes, but I'm
(35:29):
gonna go in full pageant makeup.
Oh my gosh.
And no, I'm talking, it's thatnight, so I It's that night.
Yes.
It's that night my friend.
As soon as the pageant's over, myfriend is gonna go and, um, and
then I'll get all of my stuff andI'll go separate the getaway car.
Yeah.
I'm gonna go separately from them, butlike I, um, I know that usually that,
(35:52):
'cause I've been to enough concerts and atthe Delta Center usually the, um, opening
act doesn't go on until like 9, 9 15.
So I have time to run down there.
It's totally fine.
Oh my gosh.
Kelsey Ballerini has beengetting me through, um, some hard
times, so I wanna go see her.
You have to
(36:12):
go and then like, you know thatmakeup isn't gonna go anywhere.
No.
It's, it's gonna be like there andeveryone's gonna be like, what the heck?
Who is this lady?
I woke up like that.
Yeah.
I'm gonna be back.
I, yes.
I might even wear my sash.
We'll see, I
think you should
just
take, go in your gown.
Don't even, um, just kidding.
I probably, I probably could.
(36:32):
I probably could.
I honestly, after the pageant,I wanna take my gown to, I
wanna go to the salt flax.
Flats and get pictures therebecause I just love my gown.
I almost cried.
I almost cried when I found it.
And I have like a funstory about, about my gown.
Um, I actually got it at, um, I don't knowif you've ever been to Thrive Boutique.
(36:56):
It's like this.
Little, um, thrift store,
um,
downtown Salt Lake and it's on 900South and it has like upscale, um,
high end, um, pieces for um, yeah,different gowns and everything.
And it was not a gown that Ithought that I would love, and she
(37:19):
just pulled it just in case and.
I tried it on and I was like, this is it.
This is it.
And it was like $70.
What?
But it is like a MacDougal.
I know that's a high-end brand.
Yeah.
So I just knew that it was likea nice brand, but I love it.
And that hot pink one that I,um, that I wore to the prom,
(37:42):
it was from the same place.
Oh yeah, I remember you telling me now.
Okay.
I am lucky.
Yeah.
And I love, like it is thefunnest place to go to.
They have like more high-endthings and all of the pieces
are curated for their store.
Um, so yeah, I just love my dress.
It's like my absolute favorite.
(38:03):
What is really funny is thepictures I just got done at.
The Capitol building.
Yeah.
The dress looks green in the pictures, butit's like a dark blue, so I'm like, oh,
I could definitely post these separately.
'cause no one would knowit's the same dress.
'cause it looks likeit's a different color.
Yeah.
They throw a filter on sometimesthat makes the color like, yeah.
(38:24):
But wow.
I was told I'm totally okay with itbecause the, just the color makes
it look like a completely differentdress than what it really is.
Ooh.
But those pictures, I waslike sending 'em to people.
Like, look how pretty I am.
I
did
the same thing.
I did the same thing.
I'm
like, they like some of them are go andbecause it kind of like it floWirfs.
(38:45):
It's not like a tight fitting'cause that doesn't fit with
my body type, but it floWirfs.
And so I had, I was like flingingit up and like having my arm come
down and, oh, it looks so pretty.
Oh,
see, I'm stuck on my actual evening gown.
Like you saw me workingon my costume earlier.
I have all these different gowns.
(39:05):
And I thought for sure that Iwas gonna do this one that has
like a butterfly on the back.
Yeah, I thought that.
I remember you talking about that.
Yeah.
Well now everyone's likethat's a little juvenile.
Like maybe we need to be alittle whatever grown up.
No, I don't.
I don't think it's juvenile
Comes with your, my whole whatever.
(39:27):
I found something maybethat I don't know yet.
'cause I'm a little squishy.
For the dress.
Oh, it's someone else's dress.
I love how you say I'mlittle, little squishy.
I could make it work, but like Idefinitely look a little bit like I've
been shoved into a sausage casing, soI need to not eat all the ice cream
(39:47):
I've been eating if I want that dress.
But then there's another dress that likeit could just wash me out is the problem.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you never, you never know, like,I, I love this dress and I'm wearing,
this is the dress I'm wearing.
So that's all that wear.
I mean, if you want take it to thecon go, that dress needs to be seen.
(40:11):
Yes, it definitely does.
It definitely, definitely does.
Well, I have had so muchfun talking with you.
I actually, I'm two minutes late toanother call that I'm supposed to be on.
I'm
so sorry.
Kay.
Do not be sorry.
End my thing.
I'm gonna end my thing.
And will you just tell uswhere you want us to find you?
You know what, the easiest way to to findanything about me is kimberly wfs.com
(40:33):
and that is K-I-M-B-E-R-L-Y-W-I-R-F,like Frank, S like sam.com.
Okay, perfect.
I can't tell that I've beenspelling that for years.
I mean, you've gotta makesure they get it right.
Yes, yes.
Well, and I'm sure you willdefinitely put that in the show notes.
Yeah, we'll have it in your show notes.
(40:54):
Yeah.
But thank you so much forbeing You're welcome here.
Take care of yourself.
It's a crazy world out there.
Yes.
I've loved it.
Thank you so
much.
Bye.
Okay, bye.
I'm gonna stop the recording.
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