April 25, 2025 • 64 mins
Own Your Crown: Embracing Real Life, Real Beauty
In this heartfelt and inspiring episode, host Amanda McCombs, aka Mrs. Daybreak, joins Mrs. Maple Mountain, Portia Blanchard, to discuss the profound life lessons learned through motherhood, personal struggles, and the unique experiences of participating in beauty pageants. They delve into embracing imperfections, the importance of showing up authentically, and how Portia's traumatic experience with her youngest child, Abigail, led her to publish an inspirational book and take part in pageantry. Amid humorous anecdotes, real-life parenting moments, and reflections on personal growth, they celebrate the transformative power of vulnerability and community support. This episode encourages everyone to own their stories, take pride in their journey, and shine their light unapologetically.
00:00 Welcome and Introductions
00:16 Funny Anecdote About Portia's Name
01:26 Meet Portia Blanchard
02:30 Abigail's Birth Story
03:56 Life Lessons and Reflections
06:54 Family Dynamics and Blended Families
12:02 The Importance of Self-Care
20:04 Pageantry and Personal Growth
31:33 Owning Your Story and Self-Confidence
34:11 Reflecting on Achievements
34:52 Celebrate Yourself
35:20 Living Out Loud
37:39 Taking Up Space
39:17 Pageant Lessons
42:00 The Power of Pageantry
45:29 Community and Support
59:19 From Letters to Book
01:00:31 Wrapping Up and Final Thoughts
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
Hello everyone and welcome to the InnerWorkings in the not so genius mind.
It's me, the not so genius, andMrs. Daybreak, Amanda McCombs.
And I'm here with our Mrs.Maple Mountain Portia.
Okay.
I have to tell you something funny.
So every time I see your name,I have two stepdaughters and
(00:25):
they're older now, and we went.
Shopping and you know, like the beaniebooze with the big sparkly eyes.
Of course there was one and its namewas Portia, but they were younger
and they weren't reading Portia.
Right.
They were reading it.
Portilla, Portilla.
Of course, of course.
(00:45):
Every time your name pops up in likeall of our chats, I'm like, it's Portia.
It's Portia,
and that's how you spell it.
If you ever wanna lookme up, just think Portia.
Portia, I'm, I'm shocked though that theyhad a Beanie Baby or that little animal.
That name was Port's
a little puppy.
I think we, oh my goodness.
(01:06):
Have we have it somewhere, butlike every once in a while we'll
just randomly shut a fortilla.
Like it's a family inside joke.
That's so great.
Oh my goodness.
It's best.
It's so best.
Anyway, hi.
So I'm gonna let you introduce yourself alittle bit because I didn't go over that
before I hit record, so let's do that.
No, that's perfect.
That's perfect.
As you said, my name is PortiaBlanchard, and I am the mom of seven
(01:31):
Adorable, crazy inspirational children.
I know, I know.
The oldest is 12 and the youngest is two.
So they're all pretty close together.
They are.
Wow.
Yes.
My, I've been married for almost 14years, so that is super exciting to
celebrate and Jason is fantastic, andI'm also an, like an internationally
(01:53):
selling author of a book that'sactually inspired my youngest child.
So that's just a little bit about me.
Okay.
I wanna hear more about all ofthis, um, but, because I think
a lot of what happened with youryoungest, what's her name again?
Abigail.
Abigail.
(02:13):
Mm-hmm.
I think a lot of that may be kindof pushed you into this journey
that led you into pageantry.
So I'm not really sure what,where to begin, like, do we start?
Mm-hmm.
With her story or do we start withlike, okay, okay, let just turn an egg.
What do we do?
I will, let me briefly tell her story.
Okay.
Because that, that did kind of leadup to this, um, this passion that
(02:39):
I feel that has led to pageantry.
So Abigail is my seventh baby,and all the other pregnancies
were honestly very smooth.
Like smooth deliveries,smooth pregnancies.
I had some that were born inhospitals, some that were born at
home, one was accidentally bornat home 'cause she came so fast.
Like we've just had like a lotof different experiences with how
(03:02):
our babies came into the world.
And Abigail.
I don't know, maybe shewanted to have her own story.
I don't know what it was, but she,yep, she was the youngest seventh one.
Um, she was actually bornbreach in ambulance crossing
over the Missouri River.
High speeds.
Getting to the hospital, but shewas born dead, so no heartbeat.
(03:25):
And they say that she had noheartbeat between nine and 11 minutes.
And medically that's a,that's a very, very long time.
Like we were expecting, lotsof brain damage, lots of like,
we wanted to obviously just, wewanted her, we wanted her to live.
And so my husband is doing theheart compressions on her in
(03:45):
the ambulance, and I'm speakingwith her and rubbing her feet.
And the medical team isthere doing what they can do.
And when she came back,when we were in the nicu.
I wrote and I wrote just all thefeelings on my heart, the anger,
the upset, but more importantly arecognition that life is short and
(04:08):
we don't know how much time we have.
And what kind of hit me there was,I'm like most of the time, like
we wait until we're at someone'sfuneral to speak life into them, to
talk about the amazing things aboutthat person to celebrate their life.
And I'm like, no more like I am donewaiting for life to look perfect or for
(04:29):
things to all be figured out before Istart appreciating where I'm at right now.
Oh, that's my kids knocking.
I bet it's my 2-year-old.
Just a minute.
Oh, in fact, that'sAbigail probably knocking.
She's two ads.
She's too, she's healthy.
She's a vibrant, she's running around.
Yep.
She's the boss of the house.
Like it's, it was an incredible recovery.
(04:51):
But with that message, I, I wrote abook and I published it, and that's
my platform now is like, don't wait.
In fact, let me get her on the camera.
How long was she in the NICU for?
So she was in the nicu?
Well, with NICU standards,it was not very long.
It was like between like.
Two and a half, three weeks.
Yeah.
That's so what?
Hi Abigail.
(05:12):
You wanna come on in?
Come on in, sweetie.
Hey Princess, we're talking about you.
I wanna say hi.
We, do you hear us saying your name?
Hi you.
You're wearing your sistershoes and your sister's dress.
Well, beautiful.
I love it.
Happy Oh and love she haswith a little baby piggy tail.
Of course.
Just enough hair.
(05:32):
So sweet.
So sweet.
Oh yeah.
But yeah, like she, she, I won't gointo all the details with her NICU day,
just 'cause that's more details, butlike seeing a mom of seven, I'm like,
I I am enjoying my children right now.
Yeah.
And I'm also pursuing my talentsand I'm sharing this message
with the community right now.
There is.
(05:53):
It's like a two part message.
One is you don't need to rush your life.
Like where you're atright now is beautiful.
Yeah.
But also, you don't need to wait foranyone to give you permission to start
doing the things that you wanna to do.
Hi,
cutie.
You so darling.
I'm sorry.
You're, it's gonna have all the backgroundnoise with her, but, and that's okay.
That kind of her just kindof makes it real, right?
(06:16):
Yes.
Because these all a part of it.
Oh my gosh.
And the dress is on backwards.
It's on backwards, of course.
She's so cute.
So cute.
When I was talking with youbeforehand, I'm like, this
is the message I wanna share.
Yeah.
Like I'm showing you today, no makeup.
My face is flushed.
My, my daughter's coming on withher dress on backwards while
we're recording a podcast like.
(06:38):
Life is beautiful right nowand just, just show up and let
yourself start negotiating it.
Yes.
You tell me hi.
Oh, you have all the monies.
She's got the money.
So I'm the youngest of seven kids.
Did you know that?
I did not.
(06:58):
So yeah, but there's 18 yearsbetween my sister and I. Okay.
So like by the time.
I am making memories.
Most of my older siblings are all outof the house and having kids and going
on missions and doing all that stuff.
So like most of my older siblings,just with the spread, we didn't really
(07:19):
get to spend a lot of time together.
Yeah, totally different dynamic.
It is.
It really is.
And each dynamic, dynamicis good in its own way.
Like having children closetogether, it's busy, it's crazy.
It's always loud.
There's always something going on.
But seeing them play together likethat is just makes my heart so happy.
(07:41):
So there's always good inevery family situation.
So my husband, his oldest is 18,and then the next one is 17, and
then my daughter from Florida is16 and then he and I together have
an 8-year-old and a 4-year-old.
And,
um.
(08:04):
Or we're a blended family.
But I hate calling it thatbecause it seems so forceful.
Like you're putting everythingin a blender and you're gonna
try to make everybody get along.
It doesn't work like that.
So.
Great.
And I'm trying to remember, like,I was trying to figure out dating
and all that as a single mom.
(08:24):
And I remember, um, it being, listening tosomething, I can't remember what it was.
I think it was some type of self-helpbook, but it talked about how instead
of calling it a blended family,it should be more like a crockpot
or like a slow cooker family.
Yes.
Stuff in at different times andgo together at different times.
(08:45):
But like they can all come together.
Still be individual and still likehold their unique values together.
They make something.
Yep.
I'm gonna pass her off to oneof my kids, to another friend.
I do want to heareverything you're saying.
Hey,
just sweet.
You wanna go hang out with the kiddos?
(09:05):
No you don't.
You want your throat?
I'll let you go.
Put her away.
Okay, here we go.
Let's take her down here.
It was so hard.
You go,
here you go.
Thrashing.
Take you notes.
Could you hold on toAbigail for me please?
While chat with my friend?
There you go.
Thank you.
(09:29):
You know what?
I'm okay.
I'm upstairs.
I can have them cut that out.
Perfect.
I was hoping.
Okay.
Because I'm like, I don'twanna have as cute as she can.
Okay.
She's so cute.
She just needs a little bit of.
Oh, there you are.
(09:49):
I lost you for a sec.She's so cute though.
Okay.
Mess.
She's like, it's all
about
me.
Yep.
She's like, here, lemme tell my own story.
She really is.
So cute.
So you had already It was two.
Okay.
Hold on.
Two and a half, three-ish weeks.
My, and then I, the other thing I wasgonna tell you, my youngest, that's
(10:12):
four, he was born during Covid.
Mm-hmm.
And it was June.
So I didn't know if anybody wasgonna be able to even come in to
the hospital with me because therewas so many restrictions and stuff.
Um, and then after he was born, um.
Even though he was so big, he wasmy biggest baby, his lungs were
(10:35):
just not quite developed enough yet.
And so he stayed in the NICU for a week.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, because of the one visitor thing, itwas, I was the only one that could go in
there 'cause I was breastfeeding and liketrying to keep my supply up and stuff.
So my poor husband didn'teven see his son for a week.
(10:55):
He came home on Father's Day.
Wow.
But that is
anything that's been you, there'sall the feelings and every
person's story is different.
Like, I remember being toldlike, you need to get out, you
need to go be sane, go shopping.
So I'd go to the store and goChristmas shopping, which was close
(11:16):
to the hospital, but then I'd seesome friends at the store and they're
like, oh, I heard about your baby.
So then I feel so guilty.
I'm like, yeah, I'm here.
Christmas shopping, just.
It, but it, yeah, it's been tough.
Like, but there's, there's so much thatyou feel when you're a mom in general,
but when you're a mom, well, there's a mom
(11:37):
guilt.
Yes.
Yes.
And leaving that baby's side togo and do anything you just, you
don't like, it's that naturalmaternal instinct to wanna be there.
Mm-hmm.
But at the same, which is beautiful.
So good shame, like, wedeserve to have lives too.
And they're not gonna be perfect.
(11:58):
And they're gonna be messy.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
And that's okay.
Yep.
And I also think sometimes a, acoping mechanism is like if you're
in a hard situation or a lifeis messy, or something's come up
that you weren't expecting, yes.
You've gotta be present, you'vegotta be on top of things.
Like you are in that,like that survival mode.
Mm-hmm.
But also you have to give yourself that,that space to be like, you wanna what?
(12:24):
Yes, I can be having a babythat's in the NICU right now
and I can go Christmas shopping.
I can't, like I get to create thatspace for me, which is applicable
to any situation you come up.
If you're in a traumatic situation,you can still go out and have time with
your girlfriends, you can still letyourself relax and watch a Netflix show.
(12:47):
Like
yeah,
you have to start creating thatsense of balance so you can be
able to process what's going on.
Yeah, that's really important.
Well, and like, especially if yourbaby is I the NICU or in the hospital
doing, doing some time there.
Ugh.
I hate saying it like that.
(13:07):
Um, they're in good hands.
Yes, they have people that arewatching them and taking care of them.
And mama, you've gotta rest and recovertoo, because if you don't, then you're
not gonna be able to take care ofthe baby when it is in your hands.
'cause you're already gonna be too tired.
Mm-hmm.
Um, I talked, it's such
a good lesson about just trusting.
(13:30):
Yeah.
Like, we can't be in, we cannot be incontrol of everything, no matter how
hard we desperately want to, we haveto start relying on people around us.
Yeah.
Because like, our health matters too, andour priorities and our self-confidence,
whatever, fill in the blank for you,you've gotta start trusting people around
you so you can be able to experience that.
(13:53):
Well in our, our tinyhumans, they're watching us.
And like from a teacher standpoint,'cause I taught first grade
forever and ever and ever.
Um, I taught PE for a tiny bitand taught art for a tiny bit, but
that's a totally different story.
They're watching everything you're doing,they're picking up your mannerisms and
(14:16):
the phrases you say, they even did itwith me and I wasn't with them as often.
Um, but we're their example.
So when we're struggling and it'sokay for us to go and get help and
use our community, then it's gonna,I. Strengthen that for the next
(14:36):
generation that's watching us, right?
Yes.
Yes, it does.
We want to so hard, like we want to justbe like this perfect example and have
everything figured out for our kids, andsometimes we can feel that guilt of like,
oh, I'm not a good enough mom, or I'mnot a good enough example of X, Y, and Z.
But just you being a real example.
Again here we're talking about beingreal in a pageant episode series, we're
(14:56):
talking about just showing up real whereit's like you being a real mom, if you
go up to them and say, Hey, I'm sorryfor what I said, that was really hurtful.
I didn't mean that I was frustrated, but Isaid things that I wish I could take back.
Can you forgive me?
Like that is an example.
That's ownership.
Yeah.
It's like, so yes, they are watchingyou and you do not have to be
(15:18):
perfect or have things figured outfor them to, to have that, that good
view, that inspiration from you.
Yeah.
Um, I loved when.
Did you finish your classes?
This kind of seems off topic,but I it's like kind of on topic.
Your classes with Katie.
(15:40):
Yes.
You all master certified?
Yes.
I'm now a certified makeup artistby Katie who's amazing and I, ugh.
Yes.
So
I doing people's makeup.
I loved sitting in the chair andhaving you just take care of me and
do my makeup for a minute and justlike watching you look at me and take
in these tiny little details like Ihad to try not to cry 'cause you were
(16:03):
being so nice and saying all thesereally, really nice things about me.
And you just talked about thefeatures that you wanted to bring out.
Um, just the weight, your view, likethat is a really good example for
your girls too because I think like
we talk about like the way that wetalk about ourselves and our bodies
(16:25):
and the way we carry ourselves isan example to our girls as women.
Yes.
Um.
So, yeah, you can show up and bepretty and wear the evening down
gown, but you also gotta get downand dirty and do the yucky stuff.
Yeah.
And exercise and wash your face, right?
Mm-hmm.
Like I, and
I'll say I love doing makeup.
(16:47):
Like it is such an artistry thing forme and exactly how you described it.
Like when I am, when I'm lookingat you, when I'm looking at the
person in the chair, I just seethis beautiful canvas that God has
created or that time has shaped,and it's like, this is, this is you.
So we're gonna take your beautifuleyes and we're gonna make them pop.
(17:08):
We're gonna take the, thesmile lines that you have, and
we're gonna just make 'em glow.
We're gonna take the applesof your cheeks, right?
Or the shape of your lips.
Like it's just about.
Seeing the beauty in you and Yes.
Today I chose to show up with no makeupbecause while I'm showing for my girls
that you can be a mom, you can be amom of many kids and you can still
(17:32):
find confidence and beauty in yourself.
And many times for my girls, what theysee is, oh, mom feels confident and she
feels beautiful when she has makeup on.
Mm-hmm.
When
she's dressed up in her gown.
And while I do, because it's just a wayof me artistically expressing myself, I'm
also choosing to show up in situationswhere I have no makeup on where my
(17:58):
kids are coming in during the podcast.
It's not a perfect situation.
Yeah.
But my girls know out there that I have amessage that I'm sharing with people and
I get to have this time with my friends.
Like they it.
Yeah.
I just love that.
Self-confidence is something that developsover time because our bodies change and
the experiences that we go through change.
(18:20):
So if you're in a space right nowwhere you're looking at yourself in the
mirror and you're like, I don't evenrecognize who this person is anymore.
I don't even, I don't even like who Isee, or I'm just, we, we can all get
to that point where it's like, Ugh.
You again?
Yeah.
In the mirror.
Yeah.
But to recognize it's like, yes,that person is always there for you.
(18:42):
So it's time to startappreciating that person.
Yeah.
Well, and like, it's time to appreciateall the past versions of yourself
that got you to where you are.
Like, it took me a long, I wentthrough a lot, um, and it took me
a long time to like be able to lookback on those past chapters of my
(19:04):
life and not wanna burn the pages.
And not even, like, Ididn't even wanna look.
Yeah, I wanted nothing to do withit, but like, taking ownership of
my life, owning my story and sharingmy story is like the whole purpose.
(19:24):
Not the whole purpose, butit's like it's healing me.
It is a big part of the purpose, butit's a big part of the purpose, right?
Mm-hmm.
And like I was teaching last year.
This is my first year not teaching,so I just don't know how, I do
not know how to relax apparently.
Um, like I took a break from teachingfor a minute, but I got a master's and
(19:48):
had a baby and was teaching again anyway.
Oh my goodness.
Um, so I don't really know how to relax,but, um, it's that whole, it's the whole.
Last year I did the pageant.
It was my first year.
I had no idea what I was doing.
And now this year, because ofthe pageant I had, I was really
(20:13):
able to reevaluate what I needed.
Mm-hmm.
And I had to quit my job, which sucked.
Like I thank goodness my husband is ableto take care of us the way that he can.
So that like my focus, I went and I lookedat the Mrs. Utah America website and I was
trying to like reshift my focus from lastyear and really think about the purpose.
(20:37):
Like why am I doing thepageant in the first place?
'cause why, why do I wannabe Mrs. Utah America?
I have no idea.
Um, I didn't even realize that like youwon prizes or that it went on to Mrs.
America until they were talking aboutplans to go watch them at Mrs. America.
(20:58):
And I was like, oh mygosh, that's a real thing.
I don't know why, I don't knowwhy I didn't register in my head.
Like, uh, uh, uh, and you see, I watchthese girls go through this transformation
and um, it's a refining process wherelike you get rid of the stuff that
(21:18):
you don't need and you reevaluateand you figure out what's important.
Yes.
And like your message, what you reallywanna make clear is that like taking pride
in yourself and just showing up as you areis more important than being being pretty.
It it, it is, it really is.
(21:40):
And I understand the, I thinkthat's Abigail knocking again.
Jeez.
Okay.
Pause for just a minute.
Okay.
I'll pause it.
Yes.
There we go.
Okay, so I wanted to talk about,you mentioned, yes, you mentioned
that you wanted to like, justnot even look at the past.
(22:01):
You wanted to forget about it,and now we're talking about just
showing up even if it's not perfect.
So with Abigail's birthstory, we had a photographer
there, a person taking videos.
My gosh,
are
you kidding?
No, no.
And it's the first time we ever did that.
Oh, we're like, this isgonna be our last baby.
(22:22):
Let's get someone there videoing it.
And then when everything gotcrazy, I'm like, I am never
going to watch that video ever.
Like not going to,
yeah.
So
it took me a while and I'm finallylike, you wanna know what I, I'm
gonna, I'm gonna start this video.
(22:43):
So I started it and I, it's almost like.
I could see this past version ofme, and I knew all the pain that
she was about to go through and theheartache that she didn't know that
was coming in just a few moments.
And I just wanted to hug her and belike, you are gonna get through it.
(23:06):
Yeah.
And it's gonna shape you andyou're going to be able to share
that message of hope with others.
And so the first, the first time I watchedthat video, it was such a blessing to me.
Then flash forward a few monthslater, I'm like, I wanna go
back and watch that video again.
So I open up the laptop and I click play,and I literally felt all the pain again,
(23:30):
seeing my face in the contractions,seeing Abigail go into the nicu.
My body was like.
Turn this off now.
Yeah.
So I did, I didn't finish it.
I closed the laptop.
I'm like, I, no, I cannot.
So with our past, you might be ina phase where you can look back
with that appreciation and thatgratitude for it, or you might be
(23:51):
in a phase where it's like, no way.
I am not reliving that.
And both is completely okay.
And it, your past is still valuable.
You don't have to reliveit if you don't want to.
You don't have to think about it.
There's things that you don't wanna,you just wanna, don't wanna go there,
but it has made you who you are today.
(24:15):
Yeah.
So like, own your crown.
You've survived it, you've livedthrough it like you're divine.
Own your crown.
Show up that way.
Oh, I love it.
Um, there's a tree outside my house.
It's an elderberry tree.
And all along my driveway, when Iwas living in Bountiful, we had.
(24:35):
Elderberry, notelderberry, choke cherries.
It was a choke cherry tree.
I didn't realize it was a choke cherrytree until like it was blooming.
And I was like, those blooms lookfamiliar, because they were the
same blooms at my old driveway.
Um, and I didn't know that theyhad a smell because when I lived
in that house, I had a stalker.
(24:57):
So my brain, like I was notready to process any of that.
It took lots of therapy and my brainwas just like not ready to go there.
Mm-hmm.
And then finally after I didtons of therapy, all of a sudden
I could smell the tree again.
I was like, what?
What the heck?
And it was so strong, but Icouldn't even, I couldn't even face.
(25:22):
Looking back at that just 'causelike my bo my body was not ready.
Okay.
My brain wasn't ready.
I had so many other things.
And sometimes, you know, especiallywhen we're younger, we're so resilient.
You can bounce right back and justkeep going and bounce back and keep
going and bounce back and keep going.
But that's exhausting.
(25:43):
We can't do that.
Sometimes it's okay tostay down for a minute.
Yes.
Unless, figure out what directionyou wanna go when you get back up.
Mm-hmm.
And that is beautiful.
If we were to look outside rightnow, we would see that there,
it's, it's winter just barelyturning into spring a little bit.
It tries to pretend out therethat it's spring sometimes.
(26:06):
But like I see some trees thatare totally, they look dead.
Mm-hmm.
They look totally dead.
But give it a couple months andthat tree is gonna be blossoming
and it's gonna be beautiful.
So we, we know with nature that it's.
Natural to take time.
So just hibernate to just slow down.
(26:29):
We've had seasons where wehave canceled all activities.
It's like, nope, we'renot doing anything extra.
We're just having the evenings open.
And it has been beautiful and healing.
And we have other seasons whereit's like we have something
going on every single night.
Right.
And that is beautiful also.
And it's, it's developing like, sojust don't overcomplicate things
(26:52):
If you need to take a break.
Take a break.
If you're not ready to processsomething, don't make yourself yet.
Like all in due time, thereis no, there's no rush.
Well, and I love the idea ofjust being able to show up, like
be present in your body and beable to show up however you are.
Mm-hmm.
Um, because.
(27:13):
People can tell if you're being fake,if you're putting on a, well, usually,
I don't know, maybe you're really goodat it, but, um, usually people can tell
like what your intentions are and they'llbe like, Ooh, I don't like that person.
Yeah.
Um,
how did you end
up in the pageant?
Okay, so I knew someone thatwas doing the Miss pageant.
(27:38):
Okay.
The Miss Utah pageant.
And she told me that there wasa misses, which I guess I had, I
guess I had known though becauselike I had followed ballerina farm.
Yeah.
But it just kind of like the dotscould have connected and I'm like,
oh my goodness, there's a MRS.
Pageant.
So I actually watched the Mrs.Utah pageant on YouTube from the
previous year, so I saw you in it.
(27:59):
Oh, by God.
And hey, look at you hiding.
No, own.
Your own
the Mrs. Utah pageant.
And.
What finally clicked for me, which iskind of funny because like the swimsuits,
like the most like controversial partof the swimsuit, like of the pageant.
But when I watch those ladies walkingacross the stage in their swimsuit and
(28:21):
all the body builds are different andhearing the different traits about them,
they all have their own unique talents,their own backstories, traumas, traumas,
accomplishments, like, but watching themin their swimsuits walk across the stage,
it clicked where I'm like each person,not just each person on the stage, each
(28:41):
person, the audience, each person in thestate, each person is already a queen.
Yeah.
And in this pageant, yes.
One person gets the crown, ordepending which organization you
are in, maybe it's, maybe it'sthree people that get the crown.
Yeah.
But each person's already loyal.
So when I'm doing thispageant, it's not too.
(29:05):
Prove something.
It's not too, oh, I have todo this to get that crown.
It's just about celebrating mylight while also being surrounded by
people who's like, I'm celebratingand I just wanna represent that
for people in the audience too.
Or it's like, you're already queens.
You just get to come on the stageand celebrate and be vulnerable.
(29:29):
And there's so much of a growing processthat goes through behind what you see.
Yeah.
Stage there is.
So we, it's a lot of work.
It's like, it's a lot of work.
And like last year, I lovethat you're saying that.
It's like, we're already queens.
Right?
(29:49):
Last year when we had our queen dinner,they gave us all teeny tiny little tiaras.
Oh.
And they're like, youare like you are royalty.
Like you are already a queen.
You have claimed a title.
Um, and the next day is when, 'causethat was, so we have our interviews and
(30:14):
then we'll have our queen sleepover.
And we don't really likeall sleep in the same room.
It's just like we're hanging out newing agift exchange and cute pajamas and stuff.
And then supposedly go to bed early.
And um, then the shows the nextday it's like hair and makeup and
rehearsal and go, go, go, go, go.
(30:34):
Right?
Mm-hmm.
Um,
and it was after we got ourteeny tiny little chiara's.
'cause I just went in.
I was like, I'm gonna go in andenjoy myself and figure it out.
Um,
it really was just a celebration of howincredible all these different people are.
(30:57):
Yes.
And everything that they've been through.
Um, and I was cheering like crazyfor every single one of 'em.
Like, I knew I wasn't gonna wina dang thing, but I was happy to
be there and just be surroundedby all these amazing humans.
And the second it was over, Iwas like, I'm doing it again.
You
had already won.
(31:18):
Like, and even like the factof doing it again, it's like,
yeah, I went through that.
I walked across the stage ina swimsuit, I danced in heels.
I, I served the whole yearwith my platform and I love it.
I'm gonna do it again.
One thing that's been really big and,um, transformational for me is being,
(31:39):
well, maybe not all moms are this way,but for me, my perspective as a mom
of seven children who I love dearlyand a husband that I love dearly,
is I have learned that I have a hardtime talking about me or sharing.
(32:00):
How I feel about myself.
If someone's like, Hey,tell me about yourself.
It's like, oh, well my husband saysthat X, Y, and Z. My sister-in-law
thinks I'm really good at X, Y, and Z,
but what do you think?
I see what you're saying.
Yes,
my children love this andthis and this about me.
But what I learned with this pageant,which is so good for every woman
(32:23):
out there to learn, is like youare your own incredible woman and
you're a mom and you're a spouse,your wife, and you're a teacher,
whatever it is, like these things.
You have all of these things.
Yeah, all of these things.
Whatever you want or don't want, it'syour choice what you want, like with any
of that, but like what do you think aboutyou and can you show up to a photo shoot
(32:48):
or can you make a post or can you standon the stage where it's just you owning.
You.
Yeah.
Owning your body, owningyour past experiences, owning
even the sound of your voice.
Like, we're doing this right here.
We have to own what our voice sounds like.
There's some people that are like,I hate the sound of my voice.
(33:09):
That was me.
Like, we have to own, okay, this mightdrive me crazy, but this is me and I'm
showing up anyways, and I'm gettingpast the point of being like, it's like,
you know, when someone's like, oh, Ilove your outfit, and you are like, oh,
thanks, but I've been wearing it thepast two days, or I got it super cheap.
So that's why I like it.
Why are you knocking it down a peg?
(33:31):
Why do we knock it down?
It's like, oh, I, I, I almosthave children, but my house is
always a mess and it's, I'm alwayslate for everything and like.
You just try and like, it's just sonatural to put yourself down first
instead of being, being like, Ilove being a mom of seven children.
(33:52):
It's loud, it's fun, it's adventurous.
I love it.
Yes, there are days whereI am exhausted, but hello?
Like I'd be exhausted anyways.
Right.
It's just owning your story.
Well, and I was pointing up here 'causeI got two of those, I got in 2014.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
I didn't ping them up or putthem in frames or do like, I kept
(34:15):
them closed and in their booksuntil like, a few months ago.
And for people that are listeningto the podcast not watching it,
she's talking about her degrees.
Oh yeah.
That she worked hard for and earnedand then just hid to the side.
Yeah.
Um, yeah, I went and got my master's and Ididn't really like, I was just like, Hmm.
(34:37):
Okay.
Now what?
But
that's what we do.
Like I, I know so many women thatwork hard and they graduate and
it's like, oh, when are you walking?
Oh, I'm not like, it's,it's not that big of a deal.
It's just the walk.
It's never like, celebrate yourself.
Celebrate yourself.
If you're doing, like, if you'redoing laundry, you did laundry
that day, celebrate that.
(34:58):
That is something you pay forsomeone to come do for you.
Like celebrate the big things,celebrate the small things.
If you are taking a day to stayin a robe and to not get ready
and to relax, celebrate that.
You are taking a day to just decompress.
Like it's time to start celebratingwho you are more vocally.
(35:20):
Yeah.
Living out loud.
Mm-hmm.
I talk about, um, I mean I'vehad, I've had a lot of situations
that happened to me that probablyshouldn't have happened to me.
Um, and the way that we react to them.
Says a lot about who we are.
And I think, oh, there was adirection I was going with this.
(35:46):
You were talking about living out loud.
Oh yeah.
A lot, especially moms, we kindare quiet when we're suffering
or when something's going on.
And we don't wanna show weakness.
We don't wanna ask for help, we wannaact, or like it was, this was like
(36:07):
the perception that I got from mymom for a long time was that she's
put together, everything's okay.
Yes.
Right.
And like she's gotta, she's gottabe steady because everybody's
looking to her for what to do.
And that's like thekind of the same thing.
But I don't want that kind of likeeverybody is looking at me and I
(36:30):
have my life altogether and perfectbecause I definitely don't have
my life altogether and perfect.
I'm on my computer.
Else I would like pick you up and takeyou around the house and you would see my
house is like, it's a mess and it's halffinished and like the carpet's a disaster.
Right?
We'll
sit with our nice background behind us.
I actually have friends in the corner.
We've been here for likea month in our new home.
(36:51):
But yeah, you guys just,it's under construction.
Life is always under construction.
Yeah,
it really is.
And it's sometimes it's okay tototally demolish and rebuild, right?
Mm-hmm.
But like we've lived, we own this house.
We've lived here
almost five years now, I think.
(37:12):
And we're just now puttingstuff up on the walls.
But we've lived here forever.
Like why am I acting likethis is a temporary space?
Mm-hmm.
Why am I not taking up room and likehanging up all the pictures of my family
and like the art and the whatever, like.
Why?
Why am I acting like I'm notgonna be here for a long time?
(37:32):
Like it's not, I don't like that idea.
Like I wanna be able to live.
Yes.
And
just be like, I think we're worriedabout taking up space and we don't
wanna show weakness 'cause we don'twant other people to look down on us
because we look and everybody has it allput together and then we really don't.
(37:54):
Yep.
I think it's something thoughthat we unintentionally
express to people and Yeah.
Have grown up hearing of like thedon't take up space even even me today.
So we're folding laundry, mountainof laundry, we're slowly folding
it and I'm like, I'm gonna turnon the Miss America pageant from.
Earlier this year, I'm like, Ijust wanna watch it, get some
inspiration from the girls.
(38:15):
So I'm watching it with my six daughters.
I have one son and six daughters.
I'm watching it.
I know, it's crazy.
Alice.
Um, when the, when the interviewquestion came on, the onstage
question, that's what it's called.
Oh yeah.
The onstage question happened and thegirls have a certain amount of time to
answer, and then the little bell rings.
And their time is up and all,all their answers were great.
(38:37):
They know what you're gonna say.
Well, so my girl asked me, she's like,she's like, like, why does the bell ring?
I'm like, well, the bell ring whenit's time rings and tells 'em when
it's time to stop talking, becauseyou don't wanna take up anyone else's
space or time and you don't wanna borepeople with too long of an answer.
And after I said that, I'm like,okay, I literally am just talking
about taking up someone else's space.
(38:59):
Like she's not taking anyone else'sspace by her sharing the answer
and talking about not wanting tobore people by talking too long.
And I'm like, I so often if someone'slike, how are you doing today?
Or telling about you?
He's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah.
You'll answer because it's like,oh, I don't wanna bore them.
Don't wanna take up too much time.
They probably don't care.
So I just learned from me fromwatching these other pageant ladies and
(39:20):
talking with my girls like, Hmm, what?
How would have I wantedto answer that instead.
So, but the nice thing is, is I can goback and talk with my girls and be like,
Hey, I realized this is what I said about.
This pageant interview question.
Oh, cool.
I am learning and processingthe same things myself, that you
(39:40):
don't have to give a short answer.
You don't have to be the smallestone in the room, so you don't
take up anyone else's light.
You can shine bright, you canpassionately talk about yourself,
because that doesn't mean thatyou're not caring about someone else.
Yeah.
It just means you're learning to beokay and proud of who you are too.
Yeah.
Well, and um, just becauseyou're shining doesn't mean other
(40:05):
people are shining less bright.
Yes.
There isn't a reason that we're takingaway from anybody else by taking up space.
That's a quote that I shared actually.
Um, I did a post on social mediatoday talking about myself.
Really?
Because that's been a stretch for me.
And I shared a quote.
(40:26):
I don't have it memorized.
Um, gonna look, but it's about
'cause you're
on your phone.
There you go.
Perfect.
When you, when you shine yourlight, you are giving people
permission to also shine your light.
You are not taking anything away from them
celebrating your light and beauty.
Oh my goodness.
Is this your website?
(40:48):
My website,
yeah.
And that's my whole, that's mywhole theme with makeup artistry.
It's celebrating yourbeauty and your light.
Oh my goodness.
You get to also be glammed up withmakeup or the book that I've written.
It's celebrating your life right nowand not waiting till your funeral.
Like it just all ties together ofcelebrating you and your light.
Oh, I'm looking at your, I love you.
(41:13):
So scaring.
Oh yeah.
And here's this one.
Tell me about yourself.
Yeah, I, so, and that's usually like thefirst question that you will get asked
when you're sitting down or like, I evenhave a hard time sometimes answering
like, what's your favorite food?
Because I'm not usuallythinking about what food I want.
(41:34):
I'm thinking about what foodeverybody, like how am I gonna make
all these tiny humans Ah, interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I'm thinking about what theirfavorite things are and it, I am less
focused on what my favorite things are.
That's why it's so good.
I'm so glad there's a Mrs. Pageant.
Yeah.
Like genuinely for people thatare listening that haven't
(41:56):
been a pageant before, likeyou don't have to, but why not?
Like sign up for a pageant.
'cause you're going to learnso much about yourself.
Even simple questions like,tell me about yourself.
You're going to realize, oh, actually.
Who?
Who am I?
Who am I?
The main?
The main reason it's, well, not the mainreason, there's so many reasons, but
(42:21):
it's really important to figure out howyou're going to answer all those questions
and who you are, just like what yourcenter is, because you only have so many
minutes with each one of those judges.
And that's half your score.
Yes, Uhhuh.
So if you're like ho humming andyou can't answer the question,
you're like, oh, they're not gonnabe able to figure out who you are
(42:43):
because they want to get to know you.
And I think like most people, whenthey ask you, even if they're not
a pageant judge, they ask you, Hey.
What are you into?
Tell me about yourself.
They really do wanna get to knowyou, so get to know yourself.
Have a few pointers where it'slike, Hey, I love relaxing at
home, or I love getting outside.
I love watching Netflix.
(43:03):
I love writing.
I like, I love collecting booksand forgetting to read them.
Yes.
Like, just, just say,just get to know yourself.
Right.
And don't be afraid when someone says,Hey, time about you to be like, okay.
Why is it so hard to like,have pride in who we are?
Right.
I think it's the, for me, what I'verealized during this pageant process
(43:24):
is like, I am, I, I am morph and Ichange depending on who I'm with.
And so it's like, okay, do I need to,do I need to try and play down my energy
right now and be a little bit more subtle?
Mm-hmm.
Do I need to try and tostand up and to speak?
Like you, you're constantly kindof morphing with who you're with.
Um.
But being with these pageant girls, likethey're all such bright lights to me and I
(43:47):
found it very interesting where when I seethese bright lights, my first impression
of myself is, Ooh, I'm nowhere like them.
I don't even compare.
I'm a nobody.
Like it's to put myself evenlower instead of recognizing, wow,
look at all these bright lights.
We're in the same room together.
We're each so different.
We each have our own light.
(44:08):
What a powerhouse of aMrs. Utah contestant group.
We have like these are all beautifulcompetitors that are not competing
in a caddy way against each other,but they're competing in a way
that they want to make an impact.
They want to be them, be theirbest selves, and they're willing to
put themselves out there to do it.
This is like, what an opportunity.
(44:31):
Yeah.
So I kind of went on atangent there, but like
how cool is it that like, andI think people forget this, we.
After March.
March 29th is when we get ournew people crowned, right?
Mm-hmm.
So we're gonna have twomisses and one miss.
Mm-hmm.
And I wish guys, come on.
We need more Miss Contestants.
(44:52):
I think there's only six this year.
We would love to have.
Oh man.
Come on friends.
It's so cool.
Join the sisterhood.
Um, anyway, see a little tangent.
Little tiny tangent there.
Here.
So though, look it up.
We join us.
All the growth, all the growthand development that you have.
Just being able to watch all ofthese people, I think like the why.
(45:12):
What's your why?
Workshop with Diane is huge.
Just because you kind of get grounded.
You figure out who you are and whatyou're standing for and like how
you want to represent yourself.
Yes.
And that carries overinto everything else.
So then.
After March, even if you don'twin, you still get to hold onto
(45:34):
your title and you can show up.
Like, I still wore my sash andI went to all kinds of events
afterwards and I would go and supportthe queens I was at Mrs. America.
Mm-hmm.
That was fun, I'm sure, right?
I got to sit next to Charlotte fora little bit when her friend won.
That was so cool.
She was so cute.
And then I was like catching video.
They had like light up letters thatwere spelling out Utah and stuff.
(45:58):
It was like they were all justtotally cheering and rooting for
each other and helping each other.
Like there wasn't this, um, cattinessor like underhanded or people going
like behind each other's backs.
There wasn't any of that.
So I'm so glad you joined,but like, thank you.
(46:18):
Me too too.
You too.
And to, but somebody was somebodylike, you should do a beauty pageant.
It was, it was, honestly, it was justa younger friend that was in the MISS
organization and she was, and she'slike, you should just check it out.
She's like, yeah, like,there's a MRS program.
You should look into it.
I, I know the, a person that's beeninvolved with it beforehand, like, it
(46:39):
was just a, a friendly conversation.
So again, if people are listening tothis, like look into it because it
really does, it impacts so many things.
My, my children, as they've beenintroducing themselves to new friends,
they've been practicing answeringthe question, tell me about yourself.
What are you into?
Their confidence is growing as they seeme practice and get to know myself more.
(47:01):
And just this morning I had aconversation with one of my girls.
There was an opportunity for her tocome up or there was an opportunity for
her to be in this talent show Uhhuh,and she was like, I don't wanna do it.
She has a beautiful voice,like a beautiful voice.
And I'm like, you don't haveto do it, but tell me more.
And I learned that she feels veryembarrassed if people hear her sing,
(47:23):
which again, we all feel, we allhave those insecurities with it.
But this has just been agreat, um, platform, a great
organization to be a part of.
'cause I'm getting to know not onlymyself more, but also my children
more, and my children are alsogetting to know themselves more.
It just like, it, it's a ripple effect.
(47:43):
Yeah.
It's totally a ripple effect.
How cool.
Yeah.
Um, um,
what was I just gonna say to you?
You did an event.
Yes, it was
at Bridal Up Hope in Mapleton.
I miss it.
So we had this, this.
Oh, it was, I'm so sad you weren't there.
Like you would've loved it.
We had, it was a mother daughter partyjust a night to, it's like a gala.
(48:07):
It was just a night to celebratethe divinity and the light in them.
Both the daughters and the moms.
They both gotta be celebratedthat night or the grandmas or
the cousins or whoever was there.
And we had a red carpet where theladies got to walk confidently
down this red carpet, which
(48:30):
must do this red carpet.
And we had a service stationwhere we wrote over a hundred
letters to women in the community.
Just expressing gratitude.
Like again, how long do we waittill we actually give a compliment?
Just, yeah, just give it a compliment.
And then we just had a, the finalstation was kind of like our
interview station, if you can kind of.
(48:51):
Get like the pageant undertones with it.
So we had the, the stage,which was the red carpet.
We had the service, whichwas the writing letters.
And then we had kinda like theinterview portion where it was
just a place for moms and daughtersto get to know each other more.
Yeah.
So we had games and questionnairesand it was a beautiful night.
(49:13):
And one thing that really hitme at the end of it, there was
a, a lady, a, a teenager thatwas helping to serve food there.
And afterwards she just expressedgratitude for being able to be there.
And I'm like, you're the one helping us.
Like, like, like, thankyou for being here.
(49:34):
And she's like, no, she's like this.
Being able to just be in this type ofan atmosphere where moms and daughters
could just put everything else to theside and just celebrate each other.
She's like, this was a veryspecial place to be tonight.
That's so sweet.
Oh, see, I would've leftto my, uh, with my jaw.
(49:59):
It was awful.
Anyway, that's so well, and people forget,so think people think that it's just like
showing up and wearing a pretty dress andyou don't necessarily have to do an event.
You don't really have, you don't have togo and do a lot of community whatever.
Mm-hmm.
Um, none of that stuff is required.
Like you don't, there's workshopsthat we do and some of them are
(50:21):
required and some of them are not.
And then all the differentcontestants, whenever they have stuff
going on, they'll post about it.
Um, but no, no, not one bit of thatis required, but there is a really
big focus in like looking to yourcommunity and like, I. Empowering
yourself to do what you can do touse whatever talent you have, quote.
(50:47):
Yes.
And for each person, thatcan look totally different.
It can be volunteeringin a child's classroom.
It can be postinguplifting messages online.
It can be working withthe state legislature.
Like it, there's no,there's no rules with it.
It's just a, Hey, what matters to you?
If, what matters to you is being aliving, breathing example of slowing
(51:07):
down and teaching women how to slow down.
We need you like, like everyperson's gift and skillset is
worth, again, is worth celebrating.
You have a light, so don'tbe afraid to share it.
You don't have to dolike an actual talent.
Talent for the record.
So like that part, wedon't need to be scared of.
(51:28):
I think just showing up is enough.
Yep.
It's just showing up and celebrating you.
You don't have to, you'rewalking across the stage.
It's, you don't have todance, you don't have to sing.
It'd be fun if, if we got to, butit's just, it's just celebrating.
We do dance.
The opening number.
We definitely dance.
We dance.
(51:49):
That's true.
That is ballroom dance right there.
Don't break that.
Don't break.
Um, it's so fun though, like,and so I didn't, I didn't even
watch, like, I had no idea what Iwas really getting, getting into.
I was just kind of showing up and I wasjust like, we're gonna see how this goes.
And I'm a deer in headlights andhere's my Stanley garbage can that I
(52:11):
bedazzled in the hotel room last night.
I love,
I love it.
It, um, after going through it all,like I, it definitely shifted my
perspective on what all of it is.
Mm-hmm.
Um,
and I'm living out loud a little bit more.
Like last year I still waslike, Ooh, I, Mrs. Daybreak.
(52:33):
Hi.
But this year, like I did.
A charity thing too, and Iwas still kind of scared.
I was still nervous to be like,Hey, I'm in a beauty pageant and
I'm doing a thing because I don'twant people to think that I'm like,
like there's the wrongidea that people can get.
(52:54):
Like, I'm trying to do servicebecause of the beauty pageant.
Yes, yes.
And that's not what it is really.
It's the pageant is a gateway.
Yes.
For me to be able to represent mycommunity and do more within my community.
Yes.
And if there's a cause you're passionateabout this pa, this passion is a great
(53:17):
way to spread awareness for that.
Because we have allthese ladies, that's your
platform, right?
Yes.
We're supporting each other.
We're helping to shareeach other's messages.
So yeah, it's, it's definitely a. A, acause for good in the community, but I
understand your feelings of like, oh yeah.
Am I doing this justbecause of the pageant?
You're like, this is propelling me toactually take action on something, but
(53:40):
it's not the reason why I'm doing it.
Yeah.
Well, and like now, like ifI don't do it again mm-hmm.
Um, I kind of have figured outwhat I wanted, what direction
I wanna go with things now.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
So like I've figured out my alignment.
Maybe it isn't really withteaching tiny humans anymore,
maybe I'm doing other stuff.
(54:01):
Mm-hmm.
But like, um, it's groundedme and helped me figure out
what I really want to do Yes.
And who I really am.
And I couldn't figure that out.
Like, I was teaching first grade lastyear and we were using this app and there
were so many things where I was like.
(54:22):
Oh, these are all skills thatI need to have for the pageant.
Like how you talk to somebody andmaintaining eye contact, keeping
proper distance and like Yeah.
Being able to answer questionsthat people ask you quickly.
Like even in those, they'relike, what's your favorite food?
And then I like, 'cause youhave to record yourself.
(54:47):
I'm sitting there like, I don't knowwhat my favorite food, hamburgers.
Sure, sure.
All American.
Right?
It just, it's funny that wedon't realize these things
until we're trying to teach it.
Yes.
And then I'm not, I'mnot doing that myself.
(55:09):
Mm-hmm.
That's when we learn and we grow themost, when we actually put things into
action, we realize, oh, you wanna what?
I do wanna improve in this area.
So here we go.
Man,
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited to be out this page.
It's coming up fast.
I'm so excited.
Also, it's been incredible thesepast few months doing things together
(55:31):
and we get it sober.
It doesn't, it doesn't endis the thing like, yes.
Some people are like, okay,after March, then what?
Mm-hmm.
You can keep doing it.
And then we get first pick on if we wannado our title again, we get first pick.
Yeah.
And we don't wanna do it anymore.
Then we can pass and then they'lloffer it up to somebody else.
(55:53):
Yeah.
Like you can keep doing it.
Oops.
Sorry.
Microphone.
You can keep doing it over andover and over again until you win.
But like once you hit the state title,
if you go on to the nationals,then you don't really get a
shot unless you move states.
Yep.
Mm-hmm.
But like the formers all show up.
(56:17):
Still they do every, at every event.
And like they help us get ready.
There are liaisons they like,they know the ins and the outs and
they can help us navigate things.
And it's not, it's so supportive.
We have a, and I hear from what I hear'cause I haven't done it anywhere else,
but from what I hear, this is like,ours has the most support in terms,
(56:42):
oh, I would not be surprised.
Like it's, it's amazing just howmuch we're chatting both as like
as competitors in this group.
Like we are Stash sisters.
I love that.
That's the terms like yes, we'recompetitors, but we are sash sisters.
We are supporting each other.
And then the directors and the previousqueens, like, they just want to just
(57:04):
let you have this incredible experiencethat can impact so much I've loved,
um.
Have you met?
You've kind of hung out with Jess.
I talk about her every once in a while.
I'm gonna have to get her onthe podcast after the pageant is
done and she has time to breathe.
Um, but she's the one that gotme involved in the pageant.
(57:28):
Um, and it was at like right aftermy mom had passed away and it was
after her funeral and she had like,no idea, but I was just going through
the motions, um, and signed up.
She was like, you shouldsign up for the pageant.
And I was like, oh, I would need alot of work to do with Beauty Pageant.
She was like, no, you wouldn't.
And then she sent me themessage on Instagram later.
(57:50):
Um, Facebook.
It was on Facebook.
She sent me the application.
Um, and I filled it out and I waslike reading through some of it and
I was like, Hmm, okay, I can do this.
But then she was one of the peoplethat I sat down with at the mock
interviews and I was terrified.
Yeah, because she's, she's intimidate.
(58:11):
She has a very intimidating presence.
But then like, our time was done and shewent to give me, give me my feedback,
and she was like, you are incredible.
Like, you need to let other peoplesee these different things about you.
Yes.
Like,
and there's that theme again, it's likelearning how to get out of our own shell.
Learning how to get out of our ownway and be able to succinctly and
(58:33):
confidently say, Hey, this is me.
This is my background, this ismy history, this is my message.
And this is why.
Like, just be able to, it's, it's an art.
It's an art that we asadults really get to learn.
So we can just stop being in our own way.
Hey, this is my lastthing I'm gonna ask you.
Mm-hmm.
(58:54):
And like,
we're go, we may be going, oh, okay.
I, apparently I cut thumbs up.
Good job.
Okay.
Here we could do other ones too.
Hey.
Oh wait.
Hold on.
One more.
The do it.
Yeah.
Oh my goodness.
That is Okay.
We're done with, we're done with Zoom.
You learn.
(59:16):
I have too much.
I'm on here way too much apparently.
Um, I was gonna ask you howyou went from letters to book.
Oh, okay.
Yes.
So from letters to book, it just, whenyou have something in your heart, you
just, you just can't overthink it.
I'm like, I have neverwritten a book before.
All I do are social media posts.
(59:36):
There's no way I can write a book.
That was everything going through my head.
But how did I actually gofrom letters to a book?
By just by not listening to thatvoice and recognizing that the, the
experiences I had gone through andthe letters I had written, I knew they
were met for more people than just I.
Than just for me.
I, they're meant for people that didn'trecognize who they saw in the mirror.
(59:58):
They're meant for people that thoughtthey had life figured out and then
everything comes crashing down.
They're meant for people that want todream and want to take their life to the
next level, but it's a lot easier justto think about it than to actually do it.
That's everyone.
That's everyone.
So I had to, had to get out on my own way.
(01:00:20):
Had to be willing to be open andvulnerable to shine that light.
And you published a book andnow it's an international book.
That is so cool.
Okay, we're gonna get ready to wrap up.
So before we go, I want you to telleverybody how we can find you and where
we can get your book and what it's called.
(01:00:42):
Yes.
So the simplest way to get mybook is just on Amazon and it's
called You Are Worth Living for.
There's the ebook, or you can havepaper or hardcover, whatever you like.
Also, my website, if you're like, Itotally resonate with your message
and I'm ready to start feelingmore confident in who I am or
start being more proud of my light.
(01:01:05):
Um, whether you wanna have fun doingmakeup artistry together or you're wanting
to have me come and be a speaker at yourevent, um, or you're wanting just like
basic health routines, that's what youcan find on my website or on social media.
And it's www.mrsporscheblanchard.com.
(01:01:26):
And as you said, the beginningPorsche is like fortilla com.
Yes.
Fortilla
fortilla blanchard.com.
I'm gonna have to see if I can find wehave it somewhere and like it was years
and years and years ago before we had.
Before we had our younger two.
And it's so I was laughing so hard.
(01:01:46):
Look at you.
Okay.
I'm gonna link this in our bio.
These are gorgeous.
You Thank you.
Thank you.
Not our bio.
In the show notes.
Yes, in the show notes.
I got distracted byyour pretty blue dress.
Thank you.
It's my Cinderella dress
and the next time we get togetheris actually gonna be the pageant.
(01:02:09):
You're so ready.
I'm so ready.
I'm so excited.
Like it's, it's gonna be so good.
That dance
is gonna be a mess.
Hey, hey.
You're just gonna get up there.
That's, you're gonna represent someonethat's trying to dance on the stage.
Whatever that looks like for you.
It's gonna be amazing.
Oh
my gosh.
Did you see my, uh.
Back.
Yes.
(01:02:29):
So there's a dance move that's like a chlooks like, like chicken wings, but it's
supposed to look a lot cooler than that.
Hey, it's fun.
It's a party.
We're getting the energy up.
It'll be, it'll be so good you guys.
Yes.
Okay, well if you've listenedthis far, thank you so much.
Yes,
thank you.
And
I will see you the pageant.
(01:02:50):
Come get tickets to the pageant.
Oh my
gosh.
For real.
And oh, wait, wait, wait.
And uh, Nope.
I forgot what I was gonna say.
I get to the pageant, we'll link.
Oh, and we can have different disI'll see if I can link the discount
codes too, because there will bea cutoff for the discount codes.
Ooh, I did not
know that.
And I don't remember what it is, butlike, 'cause they can, I don't remember.
(01:03:15):
I don't remember.
Reach out to us on social media.
You want the discount code.
Yeah.
And we can let you knowif it's still active
and we wanna make sure as there'svirtual tickets and there's in-person
tickets happening at Murray High School.
Yes.
And I just, in many ways I'm readyand in so many ways and totally not.
But that's why I just love thecommunity that we've created.
(01:03:37):
So thank you so much forbeing a part of that.
Of course.
And I really appreciateyou and love you so much.
Thank you for hosting this podcast.
Yeah.
If anything I'm thank thankful that, um.
The pageant has given me the relationshipsthat I've had because I didn't
have those really for a long time.
So it's, the
friendships is amazing.
It's been very healing howauthentic and genuine everyone is.
(01:04:01):
So if you're
part of this
sisterhood, thank you so much.
We love you being who you are.
Mm-hmm.
And, uh, yeah, take care of yourselves.
So crazy world out there.
Thank.
Hello everyone and welcome to the InnerWorkings in the not so genius mind.
It's me, the not so genius, andMrs. Daybreak, Amanda McCombs.
And I'm here with our Mrs.Maple Mountain Portia.
Okay.
I have to tell you something funny.
So every time I see your name,I have two stepdaughters and
(00:25):
they're older now, and we went.
Shopping and you know, like the beaniebooze with the big sparkly eyes.
Of course there was one and its namewas Portia, but they were younger
and they weren't reading Portia.
Right.
They were reading it.
Portilla, Portilla.
Of course, of course.
(00:45):
Every time your name pops up in likeall of our chats, I'm like, it's Portia.
It's Portia,
and that's how you spell it.
If you ever wanna lookme up, just think Portia.
Portia, I'm, I'm shocked though that theyhad a Beanie Baby or that little animal.
That name was Port's
a little puppy.
I think we, oh my goodness.
(01:06):
Have we have it somewhere, butlike every once in a while we'll
just randomly shut a fortilla.
Like it's a family inside joke.
That's so great.
Oh my goodness.
It's best.
It's so best.
Anyway, hi.
So I'm gonna let you introduce yourself alittle bit because I didn't go over that
before I hit record, so let's do that.
No, that's perfect.
That's perfect.
As you said, my name is PortiaBlanchard, and I am the mom of seven
(01:31):
Adorable, crazy inspirational children.
I know, I know.
The oldest is 12 and the youngest is two.
So they're all pretty close together.
They are.
Wow.
Yes.
My, I've been married for almost 14years, so that is super exciting to
celebrate and Jason is fantastic, andI'm also an, like an internationally
(01:53):
selling author of a book that'sactually inspired my youngest child.
So that's just a little bit about me.
Okay.
I wanna hear more about all ofthis, um, but, because I think
a lot of what happened with youryoungest, what's her name again?
Abigail.
Abigail.
(02:13):
Mm-hmm.
I think a lot of that may be kindof pushed you into this journey
that led you into pageantry.
So I'm not really sure what,where to begin, like, do we start?
Mm-hmm.
With her story or do we start withlike, okay, okay, let just turn an egg.
What do we do?
I will, let me briefly tell her story.
Okay.
Because that, that did kind of leadup to this, um, this passion that
(02:39):
I feel that has led to pageantry.
So Abigail is my seventh baby,and all the other pregnancies
were honestly very smooth.
Like smooth deliveries,smooth pregnancies.
I had some that were born inhospitals, some that were born at
home, one was accidentally bornat home 'cause she came so fast.
Like we've just had like a lotof different experiences with how
(03:02):
our babies came into the world.
And Abigail.
I don't know, maybe shewanted to have her own story.
I don't know what it was, but she,yep, she was the youngest seventh one.
Um, she was actually bornbreach in ambulance crossing
over the Missouri River.
High speeds.
Getting to the hospital, but shewas born dead, so no heartbeat.
(03:25):
And they say that she had noheartbeat between nine and 11 minutes.
And medically that's a,that's a very, very long time.
Like we were expecting, lotsof brain damage, lots of like,
we wanted to obviously just, wewanted her, we wanted her to live.
And so my husband is doing theheart compressions on her in
(03:45):
the ambulance, and I'm speakingwith her and rubbing her feet.
And the medical team isthere doing what they can do.
And when she came back,when we were in the nicu.
I wrote and I wrote just all thefeelings on my heart, the anger,
the upset, but more importantly arecognition that life is short and
(04:08):
we don't know how much time we have.
And what kind of hit me there was,I'm like most of the time, like
we wait until we're at someone'sfuneral to speak life into them, to
talk about the amazing things aboutthat person to celebrate their life.
And I'm like, no more like I am donewaiting for life to look perfect or for
(04:29):
things to all be figured out before Istart appreciating where I'm at right now.
Oh, that's my kids knocking.
I bet it's my 2-year-old.
Just a minute.
Oh, in fact, that'sAbigail probably knocking.
She's two ads.
She's too, she's healthy.
She's a vibrant, she's running around.
Yep.
She's the boss of the house.
Like it's, it was an incredible recovery.
(04:51):
But with that message, I, I wrote abook and I published it, and that's
my platform now is like, don't wait.
In fact, let me get her on the camera.
How long was she in the NICU for?
So she was in the nicu?
Well, with NICU standards,it was not very long.
It was like between like.
Two and a half, three weeks.
Yeah.
That's so what?
Hi Abigail.
(05:12):
You wanna come on in?
Come on in, sweetie.
Hey Princess, we're talking about you.
I wanna say hi.
We, do you hear us saying your name?
Hi you.
You're wearing your sistershoes and your sister's dress.
Well, beautiful.
I love it.
Happy Oh and love she haswith a little baby piggy tail.
Of course.
Just enough hair.
(05:32):
So sweet.
So sweet.
Oh yeah.
But yeah, like she, she, I won't gointo all the details with her NICU day,
just 'cause that's more details, butlike seeing a mom of seven, I'm like,
I I am enjoying my children right now.
Yeah.
And I'm also pursuing my talentsand I'm sharing this message
with the community right now.
There is.
(05:53):
It's like a two part message.
One is you don't need to rush your life.
Like where you're atright now is beautiful.
Yeah.
But also, you don't need to wait foranyone to give you permission to start
doing the things that you wanna to do.
Hi,
cutie.
You so darling.
I'm sorry.
You're, it's gonna have all the backgroundnoise with her, but, and that's okay.
That kind of her just kindof makes it real, right?
(06:16):
Yes.
Because these all a part of it.
Oh my gosh.
And the dress is on backwards.
It's on backwards, of course.
She's so cute.
So cute.
When I was talking with youbeforehand, I'm like, this
is the message I wanna share.
Yeah.
Like I'm showing you today, no makeup.
My face is flushed.
My, my daughter's coming on withher dress on backwards while
we're recording a podcast like.
(06:38):
Life is beautiful right nowand just, just show up and let
yourself start negotiating it.
Yes.
You tell me hi.
Oh, you have all the monies.
She's got the money.
So I'm the youngest of seven kids.
Did you know that?
I did not.
(06:58):
So yeah, but there's 18 yearsbetween my sister and I. Okay.
So like by the time.
I am making memories.
Most of my older siblings are all outof the house and having kids and going
on missions and doing all that stuff.
So like most of my older siblings,just with the spread, we didn't really
(07:19):
get to spend a lot of time together.
Yeah, totally different dynamic.
It is.
It really is.
And each dynamic, dynamicis good in its own way.
Like having children closetogether, it's busy, it's crazy.
It's always loud.
There's always something going on.
But seeing them play together likethat is just makes my heart so happy.
(07:41):
So there's always good inevery family situation.
So my husband, his oldest is 18,and then the next one is 17, and
then my daughter from Florida is16 and then he and I together have
an 8-year-old and a 4-year-old.
And,
um.
(08:04):
Or we're a blended family.
But I hate calling it thatbecause it seems so forceful.
Like you're putting everythingin a blender and you're gonna
try to make everybody get along.
It doesn't work like that.
So.
Great.
And I'm trying to remember, like,I was trying to figure out dating
and all that as a single mom.
(08:24):
And I remember, um, it being, listening tosomething, I can't remember what it was.
I think it was some type of self-helpbook, but it talked about how instead
of calling it a blended family,it should be more like a crockpot
or like a slow cooker family.
Yes.
Stuff in at different times andgo together at different times.
(08:45):
But like they can all come together.
Still be individual and still likehold their unique values together.
They make something.
Yep.
I'm gonna pass her off to oneof my kids, to another friend.
I do want to heareverything you're saying.
Hey,
just sweet.
You wanna go hang out with the kiddos?
(09:05):
No you don't.
You want your throat?
I'll let you go.
Put her away.
Okay, here we go.
Let's take her down here.
It was so hard.
You go,
here you go.
Thrashing.
Take you notes.
Could you hold on toAbigail for me please?
While chat with my friend?
There you go.
Thank you.
(09:29):
You know what?
I'm okay.
I'm upstairs.
I can have them cut that out.
Perfect.
I was hoping.
Okay.
Because I'm like, I don'twanna have as cute as she can.
Okay.
She's so cute.
She just needs a little bit of.
Oh, there you are.
(09:49):
I lost you for a sec.She's so cute though.
Okay.
Mess.
She's like, it's all
about
me.
Yep.
She's like, here, lemme tell my own story.
She really is.
So cute.
So you had already It was two.
Okay.
Hold on.
Two and a half, three-ish weeks.
My, and then I, the other thing I wasgonna tell you, my youngest, that's
(10:12):
four, he was born during Covid.
Mm-hmm.
And it was June.
So I didn't know if anybody wasgonna be able to even come in to
the hospital with me because therewas so many restrictions and stuff.
Um, and then after he was born, um.
Even though he was so big, he wasmy biggest baby, his lungs were
(10:35):
just not quite developed enough yet.
And so he stayed in the NICU for a week.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, because of the one visitor thing, itwas, I was the only one that could go in
there 'cause I was breastfeeding and liketrying to keep my supply up and stuff.
So my poor husband didn'teven see his son for a week.
(10:55):
He came home on Father's Day.
Wow.
But that is
anything that's been you, there'sall the feelings and every
person's story is different.
Like, I remember being toldlike, you need to get out, you
need to go be sane, go shopping.
So I'd go to the store and goChristmas shopping, which was close
(11:16):
to the hospital, but then I'd seesome friends at the store and they're
like, oh, I heard about your baby.
So then I feel so guilty.
I'm like, yeah, I'm here.
Christmas shopping, just.
It, but it, yeah, it's been tough.
Like, but there's, there's so much thatyou feel when you're a mom in general,
but when you're a mom, well, there's a mom
(11:37):
guilt.
Yes.
Yes.
And leaving that baby's side togo and do anything you just, you
don't like, it's that naturalmaternal instinct to wanna be there.
Mm-hmm.
But at the same, which is beautiful.
So good shame, like, wedeserve to have lives too.
And they're not gonna be perfect.
(11:58):
And they're gonna be messy.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
And that's okay.
Yep.
And I also think sometimes a, acoping mechanism is like if you're
in a hard situation or a lifeis messy, or something's come up
that you weren't expecting, yes.
You've gotta be present, you'vegotta be on top of things.
Like you are in that,like that survival mode.
Mm-hmm.
But also you have to give yourself that,that space to be like, you wanna what?
(12:24):
Yes, I can be having a babythat's in the NICU right now
and I can go Christmas shopping.
I can't, like I get to create thatspace for me, which is applicable
to any situation you come up.
If you're in a traumatic situation,you can still go out and have time with
your girlfriends, you can still letyourself relax and watch a Netflix show.
(12:47):
Like
yeah,
you have to start creating thatsense of balance so you can be
able to process what's going on.
Yeah, that's really important.
Well, and like, especially if yourbaby is I the NICU or in the hospital
doing, doing some time there.
Ugh.
I hate saying it like that.
(13:07):
Um, they're in good hands.
Yes, they have people that arewatching them and taking care of them.
And mama, you've gotta rest and recovertoo, because if you don't, then you're
not gonna be able to take care ofthe baby when it is in your hands.
'cause you're already gonna be too tired.
Mm-hmm.
Um, I talked, it's such
a good lesson about just trusting.
(13:30):
Yeah.
Like, we can't be in, we cannot be incontrol of everything, no matter how
hard we desperately want to, we haveto start relying on people around us.
Yeah.
Because like, our health matters too, andour priorities and our self-confidence,
whatever, fill in the blank for you,you've gotta start trusting people around
you so you can be able to experience that.
(13:53):
Well in our, our tinyhumans, they're watching us.
And like from a teacher standpoint,'cause I taught first grade
forever and ever and ever.
Um, I taught PE for a tiny bitand taught art for a tiny bit, but
that's a totally different story.
They're watching everything you're doing,they're picking up your mannerisms and
(14:16):
the phrases you say, they even did itwith me and I wasn't with them as often.
Um, but we're their example.
So when we're struggling and it'sokay for us to go and get help and
use our community, then it's gonna,I. Strengthen that for the next
(14:36):
generation that's watching us, right?
Yes.
Yes, it does.
We want to so hard, like we want to justbe like this perfect example and have
everything figured out for our kids, andsometimes we can feel that guilt of like,
oh, I'm not a good enough mom, or I'mnot a good enough example of X, Y, and Z.
But just you being a real example.
Again here we're talking about beingreal in a pageant episode series, we're
(14:56):
talking about just showing up real whereit's like you being a real mom, if you
go up to them and say, Hey, I'm sorryfor what I said, that was really hurtful.
I didn't mean that I was frustrated, but Isaid things that I wish I could take back.
Can you forgive me?
Like that is an example.
That's ownership.
Yeah.
It's like, so yes, they are watchingyou and you do not have to be
(15:18):
perfect or have things figured outfor them to, to have that, that good
view, that inspiration from you.
Yeah.
Um, I loved when.
Did you finish your classes?
This kind of seems off topic,but I it's like kind of on topic.
Your classes with Katie.
(15:40):
Yes.
You all master certified?
Yes.
I'm now a certified makeup artistby Katie who's amazing and I, ugh.
Yes.
So
I doing people's makeup.
I loved sitting in the chair andhaving you just take care of me and
do my makeup for a minute and justlike watching you look at me and take
in these tiny little details like Ihad to try not to cry 'cause you were
(16:03):
being so nice and saying all thesereally, really nice things about me.
And you just talked about thefeatures that you wanted to bring out.
Um, just the weight, your view, likethat is a really good example for
your girls too because I think like
we talk about like the way that wetalk about ourselves and our bodies
(16:25):
and the way we carry ourselves isan example to our girls as women.
Yes.
Um.
So, yeah, you can show up and bepretty and wear the evening down
gown, but you also gotta get downand dirty and do the yucky stuff.
Yeah.
And exercise and wash your face, right?
Mm-hmm.
Like I, and
I'll say I love doing makeup.
(16:47):
Like it is such an artistry thing forme and exactly how you described it.
Like when I am, when I'm lookingat you, when I'm looking at the
person in the chair, I just seethis beautiful canvas that God has
created or that time has shaped,and it's like, this is, this is you.
So we're gonna take your beautifuleyes and we're gonna make them pop.
(17:08):
We're gonna take the, thesmile lines that you have, and
we're gonna just make 'em glow.
We're gonna take the applesof your cheeks, right?
Or the shape of your lips.
Like it's just about.
Seeing the beauty in you and Yes.
Today I chose to show up with no makeupbecause while I'm showing for my girls
that you can be a mom, you can be amom of many kids and you can still
(17:32):
find confidence and beauty in yourself.
And many times for my girls, what theysee is, oh, mom feels confident and she
feels beautiful when she has makeup on.
Mm-hmm.
When
she's dressed up in her gown.
And while I do, because it's just a wayof me artistically expressing myself, I'm
also choosing to show up in situationswhere I have no makeup on where my
(17:58):
kids are coming in during the podcast.
It's not a perfect situation.
Yeah.
But my girls know out there that I have amessage that I'm sharing with people and
I get to have this time with my friends.
Like they it.
Yeah.
I just love that.
Self-confidence is something that developsover time because our bodies change and
the experiences that we go through change.
(18:20):
So if you're in a space right nowwhere you're looking at yourself in the
mirror and you're like, I don't evenrecognize who this person is anymore.
I don't even, I don't even like who Isee, or I'm just, we, we can all get
to that point where it's like, Ugh.
You again?
Yeah.
In the mirror.
Yeah.
But to recognize it's like, yes,that person is always there for you.
(18:42):
So it's time to startappreciating that person.
Yeah.
Well, and like, it's time to appreciateall the past versions of yourself
that got you to where you are.
Like, it took me a long, I wentthrough a lot, um, and it took me
a long time to like be able to lookback on those past chapters of my
(19:04):
life and not wanna burn the pages.
And not even, like, Ididn't even wanna look.
Yeah, I wanted nothing to do withit, but like, taking ownership of
my life, owning my story and sharingmy story is like the whole purpose.
(19:24):
Not the whole purpose, butit's like it's healing me.
It is a big part of the purpose, butit's a big part of the purpose, right?
Mm-hmm.
And like I was teaching last year.
This is my first year not teaching,so I just don't know how, I do
not know how to relax apparently.
Um, like I took a break from teachingfor a minute, but I got a master's and
(19:48):
had a baby and was teaching again anyway.
Oh my goodness.
Um, so I don't really know how to relax,but, um, it's that whole, it's the whole.
Last year I did the pageant.
It was my first year.
I had no idea what I was doing.
And now this year, because ofthe pageant I had, I was really
(20:13):
able to reevaluate what I needed.
Mm-hmm.
And I had to quit my job, which sucked.
Like I thank goodness my husband is ableto take care of us the way that he can.
So that like my focus, I went and I lookedat the Mrs. Utah America website and I was
trying to like reshift my focus from lastyear and really think about the purpose.
(20:37):
Like why am I doing thepageant in the first place?
'cause why, why do I wannabe Mrs. Utah America?
I have no idea.
Um, I didn't even realize that like youwon prizes or that it went on to Mrs.
America until they were talking aboutplans to go watch them at Mrs. America.
(20:58):
And I was like, oh mygosh, that's a real thing.
I don't know why, I don't knowwhy I didn't register in my head.
Like, uh, uh, uh, and you see, I watchthese girls go through this transformation
and um, it's a refining process wherelike you get rid of the stuff that
(21:18):
you don't need and you reevaluateand you figure out what's important.
Yes.
And like your message, what you reallywanna make clear is that like taking pride
in yourself and just showing up as you areis more important than being being pretty.
It it, it is, it really is.
(21:40):
And I understand the, I thinkthat's Abigail knocking again.
Jeez.
Okay.
Pause for just a minute.
Okay.
I'll pause it.
Yes.
There we go.
Okay, so I wanted to talk about,you mentioned, yes, you mentioned
that you wanted to like, justnot even look at the past.
(22:01):
You wanted to forget about it,and now we're talking about just
showing up even if it's not perfect.
So with Abigail's birthstory, we had a photographer
there, a person taking videos.
My gosh,
are
you kidding?
No, no.
And it's the first time we ever did that.
Oh, we're like, this isgonna be our last baby.
(22:22):
Let's get someone there videoing it.
And then when everything gotcrazy, I'm like, I am never
going to watch that video ever.
Like not going to,
yeah.
So
it took me a while and I'm finallylike, you wanna know what I, I'm
gonna, I'm gonna start this video.
(22:43):
So I started it and I, it's almost like.
I could see this past version ofme, and I knew all the pain that
she was about to go through and theheartache that she didn't know that
was coming in just a few moments.
And I just wanted to hug her and belike, you are gonna get through it.
(23:06):
Yeah.
And it's gonna shape you andyou're going to be able to share
that message of hope with others.
And so the first, the first time I watchedthat video, it was such a blessing to me.
Then flash forward a few monthslater, I'm like, I wanna go
back and watch that video again.
So I open up the laptop and I click play,and I literally felt all the pain again,
(23:30):
seeing my face in the contractions,seeing Abigail go into the nicu.
My body was like.
Turn this off now.
Yeah.
So I did, I didn't finish it.
I closed the laptop.
I'm like, I, no, I cannot.
So with our past, you might be ina phase where you can look back
with that appreciation and thatgratitude for it, or you might be
(23:51):
in a phase where it's like, no way.
I am not reliving that.
And both is completely okay.
And it, your past is still valuable.
You don't have to reliveit if you don't want to.
You don't have to think about it.
There's things that you don't wanna,you just wanna, don't wanna go there,
but it has made you who you are today.
(24:15):
Yeah.
So like, own your crown.
You've survived it, you've livedthrough it like you're divine.
Own your crown.
Show up that way.
Oh, I love it.
Um, there's a tree outside my house.
It's an elderberry tree.
And all along my driveway, when Iwas living in Bountiful, we had.
(24:35):
Elderberry, notelderberry, choke cherries.
It was a choke cherry tree.
I didn't realize it was a choke cherrytree until like it was blooming.
And I was like, those blooms lookfamiliar, because they were the
same blooms at my old driveway.
Um, and I didn't know that theyhad a smell because when I lived
in that house, I had a stalker.
(24:57):
So my brain, like I was notready to process any of that.
It took lots of therapy and my brainwas just like not ready to go there.
Mm-hmm.
And then finally after I didtons of therapy, all of a sudden
I could smell the tree again.
I was like, what?
What the heck?
And it was so strong, but Icouldn't even, I couldn't even face.
(25:22):
Looking back at that just 'causelike my bo my body was not ready.
Okay.
My brain wasn't ready.
I had so many other things.
And sometimes, you know, especiallywhen we're younger, we're so resilient.
You can bounce right back and justkeep going and bounce back and keep
going and bounce back and keep going.
But that's exhausting.
(25:43):
We can't do that.
Sometimes it's okay tostay down for a minute.
Yes.
Unless, figure out what directionyou wanna go when you get back up.
Mm-hmm.
And that is beautiful.
If we were to look outside rightnow, we would see that there,
it's, it's winter just barelyturning into spring a little bit.
It tries to pretend out therethat it's spring sometimes.
(26:06):
But like I see some trees thatare totally, they look dead.
Mm-hmm.
They look totally dead.
But give it a couple months andthat tree is gonna be blossoming
and it's gonna be beautiful.
So we, we know with nature that it's.
Natural to take time.
So just hibernate to just slow down.
(26:29):
We've had seasons where wehave canceled all activities.
It's like, nope, we'renot doing anything extra.
We're just having the evenings open.
And it has been beautiful and healing.
And we have other seasons whereit's like we have something
going on every single night.
Right.
And that is beautiful also.
And it's, it's developing like, sojust don't overcomplicate things
(26:52):
If you need to take a break.
Take a break.
If you're not ready to processsomething, don't make yourself yet.
Like all in due time, thereis no, there's no rush.
Well, and I love the idea ofjust being able to show up, like
be present in your body and beable to show up however you are.
Mm-hmm.
Um, because.
(27:13):
People can tell if you're being fake,if you're putting on a, well, usually,
I don't know, maybe you're really goodat it, but, um, usually people can tell
like what your intentions are and they'llbe like, Ooh, I don't like that person.
Yeah.
Um,
how did you end
up in the pageant?
Okay, so I knew someone thatwas doing the Miss pageant.
(27:38):
Okay.
The Miss Utah pageant.
And she told me that there wasa misses, which I guess I had, I
guess I had known though becauselike I had followed ballerina farm.
Yeah.
But it just kind of like the dotscould have connected and I'm like,
oh my goodness, there's a MRS.
Pageant.
So I actually watched the Mrs.Utah pageant on YouTube from the
previous year, so I saw you in it.
(27:59):
Oh, by God.
And hey, look at you hiding.
No, own.
Your own
the Mrs. Utah pageant.
And.
What finally clicked for me, which iskind of funny because like the swimsuits,
like the most like controversial partof the swimsuit, like of the pageant.
But when I watch those ladies walkingacross the stage in their swimsuit and
(28:21):
all the body builds are different andhearing the different traits about them,
they all have their own unique talents,their own backstories, traumas, traumas,
accomplishments, like, but watching themin their swimsuits walk across the stage,
it clicked where I'm like each person,not just each person on the stage, each
(28:41):
person, the audience, each person in thestate, each person is already a queen.
Yeah.
And in this pageant, yes.
One person gets the crown, ordepending which organization you
are in, maybe it's, maybe it'sthree people that get the crown.
Yeah.
But each person's already loyal.
So when I'm doing thispageant, it's not too.
(29:05):
Prove something.
It's not too, oh, I have todo this to get that crown.
It's just about celebrating mylight while also being surrounded by
people who's like, I'm celebratingand I just wanna represent that
for people in the audience too.
Or it's like, you're already queens.
You just get to come on the stageand celebrate and be vulnerable.
(29:29):
And there's so much of a growing processthat goes through behind what you see.
Yeah.
Stage there is.
So we, it's a lot of work.
It's like, it's a lot of work.
And like last year, I lovethat you're saying that.
It's like, we're already queens.
Right?
(29:49):
Last year when we had our queen dinner,they gave us all teeny tiny little tiaras.
Oh.
And they're like, youare like you are royalty.
Like you are already a queen.
You have claimed a title.
Um, and the next day is when, 'causethat was, so we have our interviews and
(30:14):
then we'll have our queen sleepover.
And we don't really likeall sleep in the same room.
It's just like we're hanging out newing agift exchange and cute pajamas and stuff.
And then supposedly go to bed early.
And um, then the shows the nextday it's like hair and makeup and
rehearsal and go, go, go, go, go.
(30:34):
Right?
Mm-hmm.
Um,
and it was after we got ourteeny tiny little chiara's.
'cause I just went in.
I was like, I'm gonna go in andenjoy myself and figure it out.
Um,
it really was just a celebration of howincredible all these different people are.
(30:57):
Yes.
And everything that they've been through.
Um, and I was cheering like crazyfor every single one of 'em.
Like, I knew I wasn't gonna wina dang thing, but I was happy to
be there and just be surroundedby all these amazing humans.
And the second it was over, Iwas like, I'm doing it again.
You
had already won.
(31:18):
Like, and even like the factof doing it again, it's like,
yeah, I went through that.
I walked across the stage ina swimsuit, I danced in heels.
I, I served the whole yearwith my platform and I love it.
I'm gonna do it again.
One thing that's been really big and,um, transformational for me is being,
(31:39):
well, maybe not all moms are this way,but for me, my perspective as a mom
of seven children who I love dearlyand a husband that I love dearly,
is I have learned that I have a hardtime talking about me or sharing.
(32:00):
How I feel about myself.
If someone's like, Hey,tell me about yourself.
It's like, oh, well my husband saysthat X, Y, and Z. My sister-in-law
thinks I'm really good at X, Y, and Z,
but what do you think?
I see what you're saying.
Yes,
my children love this andthis and this about me.
But what I learned with this pageant,which is so good for every woman
(32:23):
out there to learn, is like youare your own incredible woman and
you're a mom and you're a spouse,your wife, and you're a teacher,
whatever it is, like these things.
You have all of these things.
Yeah, all of these things.
Whatever you want or don't want, it'syour choice what you want, like with any
of that, but like what do you think aboutyou and can you show up to a photo shoot
(32:48):
or can you make a post or can you standon the stage where it's just you owning.
You.
Yeah.
Owning your body, owningyour past experiences, owning
even the sound of your voice.
Like, we're doing this right here.
We have to own what our voice sounds like.
There's some people that are like,I hate the sound of my voice.
(33:09):
That was me.
Like, we have to own, okay, this mightdrive me crazy, but this is me and I'm
showing up anyways, and I'm gettingpast the point of being like, it's like,
you know, when someone's like, oh, Ilove your outfit, and you are like, oh,
thanks, but I've been wearing it thepast two days, or I got it super cheap.
So that's why I like it.
Why are you knocking it down a peg?
(33:31):
Why do we knock it down?
It's like, oh, I, I, I almosthave children, but my house is
always a mess and it's, I'm alwayslate for everything and like.
You just try and like, it's just sonatural to put yourself down first
instead of being, being like, Ilove being a mom of seven children.
(33:52):
It's loud, it's fun, it's adventurous.
I love it.
Yes, there are days whereI am exhausted, but hello?
Like I'd be exhausted anyways.
Right.
It's just owning your story.
Well, and I was pointing up here 'causeI got two of those, I got in 2014.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
I didn't ping them up or putthem in frames or do like, I kept
(34:15):
them closed and in their booksuntil like, a few months ago.
And for people that are listeningto the podcast not watching it,
she's talking about her degrees.
Oh yeah.
That she worked hard for and earnedand then just hid to the side.
Yeah.
Um, yeah, I went and got my master's and Ididn't really like, I was just like, Hmm.
(34:37):
Okay.
Now what?
But
that's what we do.
Like I, I know so many women thatwork hard and they graduate and
it's like, oh, when are you walking?
Oh, I'm not like, it's,it's not that big of a deal.
It's just the walk.
It's never like, celebrate yourself.
Celebrate yourself.
If you're doing, like, if you'redoing laundry, you did laundry
that day, celebrate that.
(34:58):
That is something you pay forsomeone to come do for you.
Like celebrate the big things,celebrate the small things.
If you are taking a day to stayin a robe and to not get ready
and to relax, celebrate that.
You are taking a day to just decompress.
Like it's time to start celebratingwho you are more vocally.
(35:20):
Yeah.
Living out loud.
Mm-hmm.
I talk about, um, I mean I'vehad, I've had a lot of situations
that happened to me that probablyshouldn't have happened to me.
Um, and the way that we react to them.
Says a lot about who we are.
And I think, oh, there was adirection I was going with this.
(35:46):
You were talking about living out loud.
Oh yeah.
A lot, especially moms, we kindare quiet when we're suffering
or when something's going on.
And we don't wanna show weakness.
We don't wanna ask for help, we wannaact, or like it was, this was like
(36:07):
the perception that I got from mymom for a long time was that she's
put together, everything's okay.
Yes.
Right.
And like she's gotta, she's gottabe steady because everybody's
looking to her for what to do.
And that's like thekind of the same thing.
But I don't want that kind of likeeverybody is looking at me and I
(36:30):
have my life altogether and perfectbecause I definitely don't have
my life altogether and perfect.
I'm on my computer.
Else I would like pick you up and takeyou around the house and you would see my
house is like, it's a mess and it's halffinished and like the carpet's a disaster.
Right?
We'll
sit with our nice background behind us.
I actually have friends in the corner.
We've been here for likea month in our new home.
(36:51):
But yeah, you guys just,it's under construction.
Life is always under construction.
Yeah,
it really is.
And it's sometimes it's okay tototally demolish and rebuild, right?
Mm-hmm.
But like we've lived, we own this house.
We've lived here
almost five years now, I think.
(37:12):
And we're just now puttingstuff up on the walls.
But we've lived here forever.
Like why am I acting likethis is a temporary space?
Mm-hmm.
Why am I not taking up room and likehanging up all the pictures of my family
and like the art and the whatever, like.
Why?
Why am I acting like I'm notgonna be here for a long time?
(37:32):
Like it's not, I don't like that idea.
Like I wanna be able to live.
Yes.
And
just be like, I think we're worriedabout taking up space and we don't
wanna show weakness 'cause we don'twant other people to look down on us
because we look and everybody has it allput together and then we really don't.
(37:54):
Yep.
I think it's something thoughthat we unintentionally
express to people and Yeah.
Have grown up hearing of like thedon't take up space even even me today.
So we're folding laundry, mountainof laundry, we're slowly folding
it and I'm like, I'm gonna turnon the Miss America pageant from.
Earlier this year, I'm like, Ijust wanna watch it, get some
inspiration from the girls.
(38:15):
So I'm watching it with my six daughters.
I have one son and six daughters.
I'm watching it.
I know, it's crazy.
Alice.
Um, when the, when the interviewquestion came on, the onstage
question, that's what it's called.
Oh yeah.
The onstage question happened and thegirls have a certain amount of time to
answer, and then the little bell rings.
And their time is up and all,all their answers were great.
(38:37):
They know what you're gonna say.
Well, so my girl asked me, she's like,she's like, like, why does the bell ring?
I'm like, well, the bell ring whenit's time rings and tells 'em when
it's time to stop talking, becauseyou don't wanna take up anyone else's
space or time and you don't wanna borepeople with too long of an answer.
And after I said that, I'm like,okay, I literally am just talking
about taking up someone else's space.
(38:59):
Like she's not taking anyone else'sspace by her sharing the answer
and talking about not wanting tobore people by talking too long.
And I'm like, I so often if someone'slike, how are you doing today?
Or telling about you?
He's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah.
You'll answer because it's like,oh, I don't wanna bore them.
Don't wanna take up too much time.
They probably don't care.
So I just learned from me fromwatching these other pageant ladies and
(39:20):
talking with my girls like, Hmm, what?
How would have I wantedto answer that instead.
So, but the nice thing is, is I can goback and talk with my girls and be like,
Hey, I realized this is what I said about.
This pageant interview question.
Oh, cool.
I am learning and processingthe same things myself, that you
(39:40):
don't have to give a short answer.
You don't have to be the smallestone in the room, so you don't
take up anyone else's light.
You can shine bright, you canpassionately talk about yourself,
because that doesn't mean thatyou're not caring about someone else.
Yeah.
It just means you're learning to beokay and proud of who you are too.
Yeah.
Well, and um, just becauseyou're shining doesn't mean other
(40:05):
people are shining less bright.
Yes.
There isn't a reason that we're takingaway from anybody else by taking up space.
That's a quote that I shared actually.
Um, I did a post on social mediatoday talking about myself.
Really?
Because that's been a stretch for me.
And I shared a quote.
(40:26):
I don't have it memorized.
Um, gonna look, but it's about
'cause you're
on your phone.
There you go.
Perfect.
When you, when you shine yourlight, you are giving people
permission to also shine your light.
You are not taking anything away from them
celebrating your light and beauty.
Oh my goodness.
Is this your website?
(40:48):
My website,
yeah.
And that's my whole, that's mywhole theme with makeup artistry.
It's celebrating yourbeauty and your light.
Oh my goodness.
You get to also be glammed up withmakeup or the book that I've written.
It's celebrating your life right nowand not waiting till your funeral.
Like it just all ties together ofcelebrating you and your light.
Oh, I'm looking at your, I love you.
(41:13):
So scaring.
Oh yeah.
And here's this one.
Tell me about yourself.
Yeah, I, so, and that's usually like thefirst question that you will get asked
when you're sitting down or like, I evenhave a hard time sometimes answering
like, what's your favorite food?
Because I'm not usuallythinking about what food I want.
(41:34):
I'm thinking about what foodeverybody, like how am I gonna make
all these tiny humans Ah, interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I'm thinking about what theirfavorite things are and it, I am less
focused on what my favorite things are.
That's why it's so good.
I'm so glad there's a Mrs. Pageant.
Yeah.
Like genuinely for people thatare listening that haven't
(41:56):
been a pageant before, likeyou don't have to, but why not?
Like sign up for a pageant.
'cause you're going to learnso much about yourself.
Even simple questions like,tell me about yourself.
You're going to realize, oh, actually.
Who?
Who am I?
Who am I?
The main?
The main reason it's, well, not the mainreason, there's so many reasons, but
(42:21):
it's really important to figure out howyou're going to answer all those questions
and who you are, just like what yourcenter is, because you only have so many
minutes with each one of those judges.
And that's half your score.
Yes, Uhhuh.
So if you're like ho humming andyou can't answer the question,
you're like, oh, they're not gonnabe able to figure out who you are
(42:43):
because they want to get to know you.
And I think like most people, whenthey ask you, even if they're not
a pageant judge, they ask you, Hey.
What are you into?
Tell me about yourself.
They really do wanna get to knowyou, so get to know yourself.
Have a few pointers where it'slike, Hey, I love relaxing at
home, or I love getting outside.
I love watching Netflix.
(43:03):
I love writing.
I like, I love collecting booksand forgetting to read them.
Yes.
Like, just, just say,just get to know yourself.
Right.
And don't be afraid when someone says,Hey, time about you to be like, okay.
Why is it so hard to like,have pride in who we are?
Right.
I think it's the, for me, what I'verealized during this pageant process
(43:24):
is like, I am, I, I am morph and Ichange depending on who I'm with.
And so it's like, okay, do I need to,do I need to try and play down my energy
right now and be a little bit more subtle?
Mm-hmm.
Do I need to try and tostand up and to speak?
Like you, you're constantly kindof morphing with who you're with.
Um.
But being with these pageant girls, likethey're all such bright lights to me and I
(43:47):
found it very interesting where when I seethese bright lights, my first impression
of myself is, Ooh, I'm nowhere like them.
I don't even compare.
I'm a nobody.
Like it's to put myself evenlower instead of recognizing, wow,
look at all these bright lights.
We're in the same room together.
We're each so different.
We each have our own light.
(44:08):
What a powerhouse of aMrs. Utah contestant group.
We have like these are all beautifulcompetitors that are not competing
in a caddy way against each other,but they're competing in a way
that they want to make an impact.
They want to be them, be theirbest selves, and they're willing to
put themselves out there to do it.
This is like, what an opportunity.
(44:31):
Yeah.
So I kind of went on atangent there, but like
how cool is it that like, andI think people forget this, we.
After March.
March 29th is when we get ournew people crowned, right?
Mm-hmm.
So we're gonna have twomisses and one miss.
Mm-hmm.
And I wish guys, come on.
We need more Miss Contestants.
(44:52):
I think there's only six this year.
We would love to have.
Oh man.
Come on friends.
It's so cool.
Join the sisterhood.
Um, anyway, see a little tangent.
Little tiny tangent there.
Here.
So though, look it up.
We join us.
All the growth, all the growthand development that you have.
Just being able to watch all ofthese people, I think like the why.
(45:12):
What's your why?
Workshop with Diane is huge.
Just because you kind of get grounded.
You figure out who you are and whatyou're standing for and like how
you want to represent yourself.
Yes.
And that carries overinto everything else.
So then.
After March, even if you don'twin, you still get to hold onto
(45:34):
your title and you can show up.
Like, I still wore my sash andI went to all kinds of events
afterwards and I would go and supportthe queens I was at Mrs. America.
Mm-hmm.
That was fun, I'm sure, right?
I got to sit next to Charlotte fora little bit when her friend won.
That was so cool.
She was so cute.
And then I was like catching video.
They had like light up letters thatwere spelling out Utah and stuff.
(45:58):
It was like they were all justtotally cheering and rooting for
each other and helping each other.
Like there wasn't this, um, cattinessor like underhanded or people going
like behind each other's backs.
There wasn't any of that.
So I'm so glad you joined,but like, thank you.
(46:18):
Me too too.
You too.
And to, but somebody was somebodylike, you should do a beauty pageant.
It was, it was, honestly, it was justa younger friend that was in the MISS
organization and she was, and she'slike, you should just check it out.
She's like, yeah, like,there's a MRS program.
You should look into it.
I, I know the, a person that's beeninvolved with it beforehand, like, it
(46:39):
was just a, a friendly conversation.
So again, if people are listening tothis, like look into it because it
really does, it impacts so many things.
My, my children, as they've beenintroducing themselves to new friends,
they've been practicing answeringthe question, tell me about yourself.
What are you into?
Their confidence is growing as they seeme practice and get to know myself more.
(47:01):
And just this morning I had aconversation with one of my girls.
There was an opportunity for her tocome up or there was an opportunity for
her to be in this talent show Uhhuh,and she was like, I don't wanna do it.
She has a beautiful voice,like a beautiful voice.
And I'm like, you don't haveto do it, but tell me more.
And I learned that she feels veryembarrassed if people hear her sing,
(47:23):
which again, we all feel, we allhave those insecurities with it.
But this has just been agreat, um, platform, a great
organization to be a part of.
'cause I'm getting to know not onlymyself more, but also my children
more, and my children are alsogetting to know themselves more.
It just like, it, it's a ripple effect.
(47:43):
Yeah.
It's totally a ripple effect.
How cool.
Yeah.
Um, um,
what was I just gonna say to you?
You did an event.
Yes, it was
at Bridal Up Hope in Mapleton.
I miss it.
So we had this, this.
Oh, it was, I'm so sad you weren't there.
Like you would've loved it.
We had, it was a mother daughter partyjust a night to, it's like a gala.
(48:07):
It was just a night to celebratethe divinity and the light in them.
Both the daughters and the moms.
They both gotta be celebratedthat night or the grandmas or
the cousins or whoever was there.
And we had a red carpet where theladies got to walk confidently
down this red carpet, which
(48:30):
must do this red carpet.
And we had a service stationwhere we wrote over a hundred
letters to women in the community.
Just expressing gratitude.
Like again, how long do we waittill we actually give a compliment?
Just, yeah, just give it a compliment.
And then we just had a, the finalstation was kind of like our
interview station, if you can kind of.
(48:51):
Get like the pageant undertones with it.
So we had the, the stage,which was the red carpet.
We had the service, whichwas the writing letters.
And then we had kinda like theinterview portion where it was
just a place for moms and daughtersto get to know each other more.
Yeah.
So we had games and questionnairesand it was a beautiful night.
(49:13):
And one thing that really hitme at the end of it, there was
a, a lady, a, a teenager thatwas helping to serve food there.
And afterwards she just expressedgratitude for being able to be there.
And I'm like, you're the one helping us.
Like, like, like, thankyou for being here.
(49:34):
And she's like, no, she's like this.
Being able to just be in this type ofan atmosphere where moms and daughters
could just put everything else to theside and just celebrate each other.
She's like, this was a veryspecial place to be tonight.
That's so sweet.
Oh, see, I would've leftto my, uh, with my jaw.
(49:59):
It was awful.
Anyway, that's so well, and people forget,so think people think that it's just like
showing up and wearing a pretty dress andyou don't necessarily have to do an event.
You don't really have, you don't have togo and do a lot of community whatever.
Mm-hmm.
Um, none of that stuff is required.
Like you don't, there's workshopsthat we do and some of them are
(50:21):
required and some of them are not.
And then all the differentcontestants, whenever they have stuff
going on, they'll post about it.
Um, but no, no, not one bit of thatis required, but there is a really
big focus in like looking to yourcommunity and like, I. Empowering
yourself to do what you can do touse whatever talent you have, quote.
(50:47):
Yes.
And for each person, thatcan look totally different.
It can be volunteeringin a child's classroom.
It can be postinguplifting messages online.
It can be working withthe state legislature.
Like it, there's no,there's no rules with it.
It's just a, Hey, what matters to you?
If, what matters to you is being aliving, breathing example of slowing
(51:07):
down and teaching women how to slow down.
We need you like, like everyperson's gift and skillset is
worth, again, is worth celebrating.
You have a light, so don'tbe afraid to share it.
You don't have to dolike an actual talent.
Talent for the record.
So like that part, wedon't need to be scared of.
(51:28):
I think just showing up is enough.
Yep.
It's just showing up and celebrating you.
You don't have to, you'rewalking across the stage.
It's, you don't have todance, you don't have to sing.
It'd be fun if, if we got to, butit's just, it's just celebrating.
We do dance.
The opening number.
We definitely dance.
We dance.
(51:49):
That's true.
That is ballroom dance right there.
Don't break that.
Don't break.
Um, it's so fun though, like,and so I didn't, I didn't even
watch, like, I had no idea what Iwas really getting, getting into.
I was just kind of showing up and I wasjust like, we're gonna see how this goes.
And I'm a deer in headlights andhere's my Stanley garbage can that I
(52:11):
bedazzled in the hotel room last night.
I love,
I love it.
It, um, after going through it all,like I, it definitely shifted my
perspective on what all of it is.
Mm-hmm.
Um,
and I'm living out loud a little bit more.
Like last year I still waslike, Ooh, I, Mrs. Daybreak.
(52:33):
Hi.
But this year, like I did.
A charity thing too, and Iwas still kind of scared.
I was still nervous to be like,Hey, I'm in a beauty pageant and
I'm doing a thing because I don'twant people to think that I'm like,
like there's the wrongidea that people can get.
(52:54):
Like, I'm trying to do servicebecause of the beauty pageant.
Yes, yes.
And that's not what it is really.
It's the pageant is a gateway.
Yes.
For me to be able to represent mycommunity and do more within my community.
Yes.
And if there's a cause you're passionateabout this pa, this passion is a great
(53:17):
way to spread awareness for that.
Because we have allthese ladies, that's your
platform, right?
Yes.
We're supporting each other.
We're helping to shareeach other's messages.
So yeah, it's, it's definitely a. A, acause for good in the community, but I
understand your feelings of like, oh yeah.
Am I doing this justbecause of the pageant?
You're like, this is propelling me toactually take action on something, but
(53:40):
it's not the reason why I'm doing it.
Yeah.
Well, and like now, like ifI don't do it again mm-hmm.
Um, I kind of have figured outwhat I wanted, what direction
I wanna go with things now.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
So like I've figured out my alignment.
Maybe it isn't really withteaching tiny humans anymore,
maybe I'm doing other stuff.
(54:01):
Mm-hmm.
But like, um, it's groundedme and helped me figure out
what I really want to do Yes.
And who I really am.
And I couldn't figure that out.
Like, I was teaching first grade lastyear and we were using this app and there
were so many things where I was like.
(54:22):
Oh, these are all skills thatI need to have for the pageant.
Like how you talk to somebody andmaintaining eye contact, keeping
proper distance and like Yeah.
Being able to answer questionsthat people ask you quickly.
Like even in those, they'relike, what's your favorite food?
And then I like, 'cause youhave to record yourself.
(54:47):
I'm sitting there like, I don't knowwhat my favorite food, hamburgers.
Sure, sure.
All American.
Right?
It just, it's funny that wedon't realize these things
until we're trying to teach it.
Yes.
And then I'm not, I'mnot doing that myself.
(55:09):
Mm-hmm.
That's when we learn and we grow themost, when we actually put things into
action, we realize, oh, you wanna what?
I do wanna improve in this area.
So here we go.
Man,
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited to be out this page.
It's coming up fast.
I'm so excited.
Also, it's been incredible thesepast few months doing things together
(55:31):
and we get it sober.
It doesn't, it doesn't endis the thing like, yes.
Some people are like, okay,after March, then what?
Mm-hmm.
You can keep doing it.
And then we get first pick on if we wannado our title again, we get first pick.
Yeah.
And we don't wanna do it anymore.
Then we can pass and then they'lloffer it up to somebody else.
(55:53):
Yeah.
Like you can keep doing it.
Oops.
Sorry.
Microphone.
You can keep doing it over andover and over again until you win.
But like once you hit the state title,
if you go on to the nationals,then you don't really get a
shot unless you move states.
Yep.
Mm-hmm.
But like the formers all show up.
(56:17):
Still they do every, at every event.
And like they help us get ready.
There are liaisons they like,they know the ins and the outs and
they can help us navigate things.
And it's not, it's so supportive.
We have a, and I hear from what I hear'cause I haven't done it anywhere else,
but from what I hear, this is like,ours has the most support in terms,
(56:42):
oh, I would not be surprised.
Like it's, it's amazing just howmuch we're chatting both as like
as competitors in this group.
Like we are Stash sisters.
I love that.
That's the terms like yes, we'recompetitors, but we are sash sisters.
We are supporting each other.
And then the directors and the previousqueens, like, they just want to just
(57:04):
let you have this incredible experiencethat can impact so much I've loved,
um.
Have you met?
You've kind of hung out with Jess.
I talk about her every once in a while.
I'm gonna have to get her onthe podcast after the pageant is
done and she has time to breathe.
Um, but she's the one that gotme involved in the pageant.
(57:28):
Um, and it was at like right aftermy mom had passed away and it was
after her funeral and she had like,no idea, but I was just going through
the motions, um, and signed up.
She was like, you shouldsign up for the pageant.
And I was like, oh, I would need alot of work to do with Beauty Pageant.
She was like, no, you wouldn't.
And then she sent me themessage on Instagram later.
(57:50):
Um, Facebook.
It was on Facebook.
She sent me the application.
Um, and I filled it out and I waslike reading through some of it and
I was like, Hmm, okay, I can do this.
But then she was one of the peoplethat I sat down with at the mock
interviews and I was terrified.
Yeah, because she's, she's intimidate.
(58:11):
She has a very intimidating presence.
But then like, our time was done and shewent to give me, give me my feedback,
and she was like, you are incredible.
Like, you need to let other peoplesee these different things about you.
Yes.
Like,
and there's that theme again, it's likelearning how to get out of our own shell.
Learning how to get out of our ownway and be able to succinctly and
(58:33):
confidently say, Hey, this is me.
This is my background, this ismy history, this is my message.
And this is why.
Like, just be able to, it's, it's an art.
It's an art that we asadults really get to learn.
So we can just stop being in our own way.
Hey, this is my lastthing I'm gonna ask you.
Mm-hmm.
(58:54):
And like,
we're go, we may be going, oh, okay.
I, apparently I cut thumbs up.
Good job.
Okay.
Here we could do other ones too.
Hey.
Oh wait.
Hold on.
One more.
The do it.
Yeah.
Oh my goodness.
That is Okay.
We're done with, we're done with Zoom.
You learn.
(59:16):
I have too much.
I'm on here way too much apparently.
Um, I was gonna ask you howyou went from letters to book.
Oh, okay.
Yes.
So from letters to book, it just, whenyou have something in your heart, you
just, you just can't overthink it.
I'm like, I have neverwritten a book before.
All I do are social media posts.
(59:36):
There's no way I can write a book.
That was everything going through my head.
But how did I actually gofrom letters to a book?
By just by not listening to thatvoice and recognizing that the, the
experiences I had gone through andthe letters I had written, I knew they
were met for more people than just I.
Than just for me.
I, they're meant for people that didn'trecognize who they saw in the mirror.
(59:58):
They're meant for people that thoughtthey had life figured out and then
everything comes crashing down.
They're meant for people that want todream and want to take their life to the
next level, but it's a lot easier justto think about it than to actually do it.
That's everyone.
That's everyone.
So I had to, had to get out on my own way.
(01:00:20):
Had to be willing to be open andvulnerable to shine that light.
And you published a book andnow it's an international book.
That is so cool.
Okay, we're gonna get ready to wrap up.
So before we go, I want you to telleverybody how we can find you and where
we can get your book and what it's called.
(01:00:42):
Yes.
So the simplest way to get mybook is just on Amazon and it's
called You Are Worth Living for.
There's the ebook, or you can havepaper or hardcover, whatever you like.
Also, my website, if you're like, Itotally resonate with your message
and I'm ready to start feelingmore confident in who I am or
start being more proud of my light.
(01:01:05):
Um, whether you wanna have fun doingmakeup artistry together or you're wanting
to have me come and be a speaker at yourevent, um, or you're wanting just like
basic health routines, that's what youcan find on my website or on social media.
And it's www.mrsporscheblanchard.com.
(01:01:26):
And as you said, the beginningPorsche is like fortilla com.
Yes.
Fortilla
fortilla blanchard.com.
I'm gonna have to see if I can find wehave it somewhere and like it was years
and years and years ago before we had.
Before we had our younger two.
And it's so I was laughing so hard.
(01:01:46):
Look at you.
Okay.
I'm gonna link this in our bio.
These are gorgeous.
You Thank you.
Thank you.
Not our bio.
In the show notes.
Yes, in the show notes.
I got distracted byyour pretty blue dress.
Thank you.
It's my Cinderella dress
and the next time we get togetheris actually gonna be the pageant.
(01:02:09):
You're so ready.
I'm so ready.
I'm so excited.
Like it's, it's gonna be so good.
That dance
is gonna be a mess.
Hey, hey.
You're just gonna get up there.
That's, you're gonna represent someonethat's trying to dance on the stage.
Whatever that looks like for you.
It's gonna be amazing.
Oh
my gosh.
Did you see my, uh.
Back.
Yes.
(01:02:29):
So there's a dance move that's like a chlooks like, like chicken wings, but it's
supposed to look a lot cooler than that.
Hey, it's fun.
It's a party.
We're getting the energy up.
It'll be, it'll be so good you guys.
Yes.
Okay, well if you've listenedthis far, thank you so much.
Yes,
thank you.
And
I will see you the pageant.
(01:02:50):
Come get tickets to the pageant.
Oh my
gosh.
For real.
And oh, wait, wait, wait.
And uh, Nope.
I forgot what I was gonna say.
I get to the pageant, we'll link.
Oh, and we can have different disI'll see if I can link the discount
codes too, because there will bea cutoff for the discount codes.
Ooh, I did not
know that.
And I don't remember what it is, butlike, 'cause they can, I don't remember.
(01:03:15):
I don't remember.
Reach out to us on social media.
You want the discount code.
Yeah.
And we can let you knowif it's still active
and we wanna make sure as there'svirtual tickets and there's in-person
tickets happening at Murray High School.
Yes.
And I just, in many ways I'm readyand in so many ways and totally not.
But that's why I just love thecommunity that we've created.
(01:03:37):
So thank you so much forbeing a part of that.
Of course.
And I really appreciateyou and love you so much.
Thank you for hosting this podcast.
Yeah.
If anything I'm thank thankful that, um.
The pageant has given me the relationshipsthat I've had because I didn't
have those really for a long time.
So it's, the
friendships is amazing.
It's been very healing howauthentic and genuine everyone is.
(01:04:01):
So if you're
part of this
sisterhood, thank you so much.
We love you being who you are.
Mm-hmm.
And, uh, yeah, take care of yourselves.
So crazy world out there.
Thank.
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