Reclaiming Identity: A Journey Through Purity Culture and Healing

Reclaiming Identity: A Journey Through Purity Culture and Healing

 In this heartfelt episode, Amanda McCombs, known as the Not So Genius, invites her Sash sister Kaylyn Lippert, a former Mrs. Wasatch Front, military spouse, registered nurse, and founder of Reclaimed, to discuss their close friendship and personal journeys. Kaylyn shares her deeply personal struggle with vaginismus, the impacts of purity culture, and her mission to reclaim her identity and help others through her ministry. Together, they discuss the importance of community, healing, and redefining intimacy and sexuality in a healthy, non-shaming way. They also talk about their experiences in pageantry and how it has helped them grow, build a supportive community, and serve others. Kaylyn details her vision for Reclaimed, including donation drives for menstrual products, educational tours, social media outreach, and future aspirations for a marriage retreat. The episode emphasizes the power of vulnerability, mutual support, and breaking free from harmful cultural narratives to achieve lasting healing and transformation.  

00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction

01:54 Kaylyn's Journey with Purity Culture

03:37 The Impact of Vaginismus

09:14 Finding Community and Support

19:28 The Role of Pageantry in Personal Growth

34:29 Personal Reflections on Family and Relationships

36:00 Impact of Purity Culture

36:53 Religious Teachings and Personal Beliefs

39:07 Challenges in Marriage and Family Dynamics

40:27 Navigating Social Media and Authenticity

51:39 Cultural Differences and Personal Growth

54:40 Reclaimed: Mission and Vision

01:00:39 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to the inner workingsof the not so genius mind.
I'm Amanda McCombs, the Not SoGenius, and your Mrs. Daybreak.
This season here I have my Sash sister.
Kaylyn Lippert.
She's wa Mrs. Wasatch Front.
Um, she's an rn.
What else?
Military wife.

(00:21):
Her husband's in the Air Force.
All kinds of good things.
She's just a really good friend ofmine and I think she is probably one
of the first friends that I actually.
Made in the pageant and I feel likeyou were my little cheerleader.
I just, the whole time I kept tryingto like go through the whole process.
I have kaylyn's, cute littlevoice in the back of my head

(00:43):
telling me to be confident.
Like that was the thing you just kepttelling me over and over and over again,
through rehearsals and everything else.
Just do it.
Be confident, like be yourself.
Just do it.
Yes.
And you know, something is to be saidwhen I tell other people those things,
it's because I need it myself too.
Then it helps everyone all around andyou're one of my dearest friends from

(01:06):
the pageant and I just love you, Amanda.
And yeah, I'm Kaylin.
I am Mrs. Wasatch Front and then Mrs.Utah America slash American Pageant.
I am a registered nurse.
I'm a military spouse.
Um.
All kinds of things.
I am the founder of Reclaimed, whichis a ministry that's near and dear

(01:29):
to my heart, and I'm excited tobe hanging out with you, Amanda.
You know I love you.
I love you too.
Please tell us more about Reclaimedbecause Ooh, yes, I be watching.
I've been watching on social media,media and listening and following along,
but maybe for some of my listenersthat don't know, tell us more about it.

(01:54):
Reclaimed comes from this idea toretrieve or recover something that was
previously lost, and I think a lot ofus can relate to reclaiming or needing
to reclaim something in our lives.
For me, it was when I got married,realizing the detriment that
purity culture taught on my life.
I grew up in theSoutheast in Alabama, and.

(02:21):
The culture surrounding women'shealth, your body intimacy,
purity, all of these things.
Sorry, all of these things.
The, the culture was kind of like,don't ask, don't tell, just don't do it.

(02:42):
You need to save yourself, butwe're not gonna explain why.
Mm-hmm.
And that, that, that's inrelationships, that's in as things
as simple as your menstrual cycle.
So many different avenuesthat that goes down.
And I didn't realize how muchof an effect that would have.
Not on just my mind, um, butmy body and my spirit too.

(03:08):
And so I, so I get married to thelove of my life, Cody, and we.
We did save ourselves for that and wewere really looking forward because
we did it, um, in what we think isGod's way, but expectations were not
met very quickly and we realized that,that things were seriously wrong.

(03:31):
Um, just in terms of, ofpain and of of my health.
So I actually got diagnosed witha condition called Vaginismus,
which is kind of like a mind-bodyconnection when it comes to intimacy.
And because of the way that I grew up,um, thinking it was unholy and dirty

(03:54):
to understand your body in that way, itactually created a legitimate physical
disorder that made things painful and.
Quite literally impossible.
And that played a hugetoll in my mental health.
It played a huge toll on our relationshiphaving to go through that journey.

(04:15):
And I think it's a journey that's alittle, it's, it's gonna, I think,
be a lifelong journey, honestly.
Um, and something that we continueto revisit throughout our marriage.
But as, as I'm trying to find freedomand restoration through this process
and, and, you know, us try to redeem thispart of our marriage, it, it wasn't easy.

(04:40):
And I was scrolling through aPinterest, just on Pinterest, you
know, I look there for nail ideas.
Mm-hmm.
Um, hair stuff, you know, all,all the things that, that girls
like Pinterest for recipes.
Yeah.
And I came across this quote.
It kind of stopped me in my tracks andI feel like the Holy Spirit slapped
me in the face with it and it said,your ministry is found where you've

(05:03):
been broken and your testimony isfound where you've been restored.
Ooh.
It just like, hold on, say it one more
time.
Yes.
Your ministry is found where you'vebeen broken and your testimony is found
where you've been restored, meaningGod is going to use that story that

(05:28):
broke you and change it into a storyof restoration because that's who he
is and that's what he does, and he'sgoing to restore you and through that
you are going to help other peoplethat are going through the same thing.
Not that he makes you go throughbad things, but because of the
crazy broken world that we live in.

(05:50):
Yeah.
Crappy things happeneven if you're doing it.
In the way you think.
You're just supposed to alldoing all the right things.
And that's what made us so meand my husband angry for so long.
'cause we were like, you know, God,we did everything the right way.
We waited, like, why are wegoing through such a hard thing
this early in our marriage andnow we have a new perspective?

(06:14):
Like, what did you do wrong?
It kind of, it kind of did.
Yeah.
It kind of did.
And that's something that, that wereally struggled with for a while
and that we had to get counseling andprayer about, you know, and, and now
we realize like it wasn't a punishmentand it sucks and, and we might not ever
understand why we went through that.
Yeah.

(06:34):
But as we have gone throughthis journey and as we have
begun to find healing, physical,mental, emotional, and spiritual.
We are seeing where God isusing us to help other people.
And that, that quote that I saw iswhat sparked that in me, and it set

(07:00):
me on this path of figuring out how tohelp other couples, other marriages,
but also other women in the wives.
And maybe just single womendating women, engaged women,
married women, any women, right.
Any woman who maybe puts their identityin, in something that is happening

(07:24):
to them or has happened to them.
And helping flip the script on that.
Helping marriages and andrelationships find freedom.
Mm-hmm.
And.
My God size dream is to create lastingcultural transformation by demolishing
the detriment of purity culture in ournation and what people think purity is.

(07:49):
Um, helping people to see the truemeaning of sexuality and intimacy,
the way that, that it was intended.
Not just because there's rules,but because in my opinion, God
has these things in place becausehe knows that that way is going
to create more happiness for us.

(08:10):
Mm-hmm.
Um, it's going to sustain us moreand it's just all around better.
But religion, not God, butreligion has thwarted that so much.
We think that's what God thinksand that we're just supposed to
be miserable all of our lives.
And that is not what hehas intended for us at all.

(08:31):
God's plan for our lives is so much betterand more enjoyable than we could ever
imagine, but we've got to give him and notreligion a chance, if that makes sense.
And that's my goal with all of this,using my nursing degree, um, having a
huge interest in women's health becauseof my experiences, but also using mine

(08:52):
and Cody's story to provide hope andinspiration to other couples experiencing
the same thing and giving them a safeplace to have these open conversations
and to find hope in their situation.
What do you think has beensomething that's really helped
you and Cody navigate this

(09:14):
the
best
way?
Community.
Community is one of the biggest things.
At first, when I, when we startedthis journey, I thought I was like the
only person to ever go through this.
I even had, I went to pelvic floorphysical therapy, which God bless all
of my pelvic floor physical therapists.
They were all so amazing.

(09:34):
But something that one of my firstphysical therapists said, she,
she looked at me with like, withlike, pity, and she was like,
you're not supposed to be in here.
Like, usually the people I care forare either postpartum or like older.
You're 19.
Like, like, I feel so badthat you have to be here.
You know?
Mm-hmm.
And while I appreciated that, it also,it, it did make me feel isolated.

(10:01):
Yeah.
You know, like, oh, I'm the youngestperson to ever go through this, or.
The lies that the world and thatSatan tells us is gonna, they, the
goal is to make you feel isolatedand alone because we're meant for
community, we're meant for friendships,we're meant for relationships.
And so finding, at first it wasjust a couple of family members

(10:23):
that we trusted with the story.
Um, then I started a small group inmy church for military spouses and,
um, members of the military, um,in our community that are female.
And that provided meanother sense of community.
Then pageantry provided me a sense ofcommunity, and through that I was able

(10:45):
to get outside of myself and my ownpity and my own wallow, and then God
teaching me how to then outreach toothers, going through similar experiences.
And it provides as much healing for me asit does for the people that I'm serving.
That
is so powerful.
Holy smokes.
Here.
I love you.

(11:07):
I love you.
I appreciate you so much.
You're so open and honest and you'rejust, you're such a light in my life and
like you and I believe to not totallydifferent things, but like you and I have
chatted a lot because we've developedthis friendship thanks to budget.
Right.
But you know, I have like acontentious relationship with

(11:30):
religion and with like Right.
I'm navigating and tryingto figure out what I really
believe again because mm-hmm.
Pure part of it was purity culturewas super damaging in my life too.
Yes.
In rent way.
Mm-hmm.
Um, it was more like, so I was raped andsexually assaulted and I've been stalked

(11:53):
and all kinds of things, and they talka lot about how you're like chewed gum.
Nobody's gonna want you after that.
And that wa Yeah.
It was like, what were you wearing?
And things like that.
And instead of having a communitythat was like my village that
would come and help me and takecare of me and nurture me a child.

(12:17):
Right?
Right.
They turned against mebecause I was sinning.
I wasn't doing it God's way.
I had a baby out of wedlock.
Right.
And so instead of having acommunity, I was isolated.
And I think we have created, just overall,especially as women, um, we've tried to

(12:42):
create a society where you don't need avillage and where you can look at each
other and like judge each other andthat's not what it's supposed to be.
And you're a huge testament, right?
'cause like, even though I ha I'mlike, I don't what I believe anymore.
You love me just the same.
And you are, you don't shove thingsdown my throat and you're not like,

(13:07):
you don't force it on me.
And I love our Marcos, even thoughwe were talking before this.
'cause my favorite thing to get is aMarco from you asking how you can pray for
me that week or what you can do for me.
Like, even though that's, I don'tpray, right, I meditate, I do whatever.
It's still a connection to some,it's like this mind, body, soul

(13:33):
connection that I'm tr that I'm mm-hmm.
Trying.
Right.
And you are right because we're all
made for it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So your mind, your mind, body, soul,spirituality, your spirit connection,
um, just the damage that was donewith purity culture is blocking that.

(13:54):
And it's hard to make the connection'cause like we weren't taught.
That the right things wereimportant and we weren't taught
about how our bodies worked.
Like it just was what it was.
Yeah.
You had to just accept the pain and Ican imagine like any other couple that

(14:17):
would go through what you went through andtrying to figure, like having that pain
and being alone and feeling isolated andshutting down can really drive you apart.
And I'm just, I love that it, youtwo are communicating and not, it was
really hard.
We had to, it's
hard.

(14:37):
Yeah.
Yeah.
We had to learn that andit took a little while.
Yeah.
And we had honestly that somethinglike that, it only, you can't
help but it create resentment.
Yeah.
For each other, within each other.
And being quite candid here, we almost,our marriage almost didn't survive it.
We were 19 and 20 years old, andI thought we were gonna be another

(14:59):
statistic, and I thought everyone inmy family was gonna say I told you so.
Yeah.
And that's, so we thought that,you know, this wasn't gonna work.
And thank God that we had peoplearound us, um, that we, that we sought
out as much community as we could.
Just imagine all of this going on.
But you also just moved 2000 milesaway from everyone you knew and loved.

(15:21):
Oh, I,
and it's in the middle of Covid?
Yes.
Oh my gosh.
2021.
And there's no base resources right now.
And you're in nursing school.
There was so many things workingagainst, and, and I personally can
only say that it is God and theprayers of our family and our friends
that got us through that season.

(15:42):
And I mean, we still have obviously,like any other couple have our fair
share of struggles and a lot of itis still related to this journey.
Yeah.
Because although thank God that thephysical pain has much, much, much
lessened, there is such a damage thatthat does to your mind and, and that

(16:03):
kind of affects your hormones too.
Oh yeah.
And so that's, and and honestly liketoday has kind of been the day that I've
realized that talking with family andtalking with doctors that I know and
things like that, that that's my next stepthat I'm gonna be going on is figuring
out like, is there something wrong withmy hormones or do I just have PTSD?

(16:24):
Yeah.
You know, oh my
goodness.
Like that is a form of PTSD.
And it's hard.
And that still leaves bothme and my husband with unmet
expectations and dissatisfactionthat we've got to work through.
And so it feels like ourmarriage has been so much work.
However, we are closer in a lotmore understanding of each other

(16:46):
than a lot of marriages our age.
Because of everything that we've beenthrough, we have had to mature and grow
in that way quickly, or we would've lostour marriage and our love for each other.
That's so hard.
And you, how long haveyou been married again?
We almost four years.
Almost four years.

(17:07):
And they just went on their honeymoon?
Yes, we did.
Oh, goodness.
Yes.
That's another thing with military life,you're gonna have to wait, but the weight
is usually worth it, so it was worth it.
Yeah, I loved all the pictures.
You just, I, well, and then you flewback and then showed up at our mock

(17:28):
interview and you, I was kind ofshocked to see you there 'cause I
knew you were just barely coming backand I was like, there's no way Yeah.
Standing because that's not a short drive.
That's not a teeny little drive.
Um, no.
Thankfully, thankfully Abby, um,Mrs. Rocky Mountain drove us.
I'm so thankful because I don't knowif I would've been able to drive back.

(17:50):
I was so tired.
Oh,
I love her.
But it was, it was, I, I love her so much.
She's such a light and she's suchan amazing friend and mentor to me.
Um, she's, she's a beautiful soul.
She really is.
She just radiates.
She does, she radiates loveand light and, and confidence
rooted in all the right things.

(18:12):
Um, yeah.
I'm so happy you guys finally got togo on your honeymoon and then last
season you were Mrs. Wasatch front.
We were standing by each other.
You were just like, youwere like my little buddy.
Like even just we were buddies.
Your leader.
You were like, uh, you just,you were a light for me.

(18:33):
I think.
Clarissa Thomas, Mrs. Utah County.
She talks about like a bright threadin the, in a tapestry of life.
And you just, you're totally oneof those and you're, oh, thank you.
You're very comforting.
I love having you around.
Um, where was I gonna go with that?
I don't know.
I just started ramblingabout how amazing you are.

(18:55):
You're too sweet.
Um, we were talking about,oh, standing beside me.
You had just came backfrom the pageant anyway.
Oh no, that's what I was gonna say.
You, your husband wasdeployed last season.
Yes.
So it was like

(19:17):
you were kind of, you were goingthrough this as a misses, but at
the same time, like your husbandwas kind of far away and it was
very far away.
A little lonely.
It was, it was.
But that was the importance ofcommunity and that's what I hope huge
so many women can see is such a hugeadvantage of being involved in pageants.

(19:39):
Um, it's not just a beauty contestwhere we're competing against each
other, we're competing with each other.
We all have the same goal inmind, but we're all cheering each
other on along the way, especiallywith our, um, organization.
Yeah, especially with ours.
I remember standing next to you,and as each person was called,
both of us were like, yay.
Because it really is a celebrationof how incredible each and every.

(20:04):
Single one of these women are, becauseit's a refining process and you
really have to figure out absolutelywho you are and what you stand for.
'cause when we go and we talkto the judges, we only have so
much time with each one of them.
Right.
Less than five minutes.
Right.
And then they have to make a decision.
And that's like halfour score right there.

(20:27):
Yeah.
I was talking with mystepmom about it last night.
I was trying on, on my wardrobe and I was,I was on the phone with my stepmom and we
were talking about it and she was like,you know, just on the stage in the, in
the just like stage presence, beauty andthings like only five out of the top 10
that were there is what I would've chosen.
And I said, well.

(20:48):
You don't know how that on step, you don'tknow how that personal interview went.
It's really about, it's not about what youlook like, it's about who you are mm-hmm.
And what you bring, um, to the community.
And we all have such amazingthings to bring and it's, it's
such a subjective thing too, thatyou cannot take it personally.
Yeah.
I love, but it's hard not

(21:10):
to.
I love that.
Um, with our organization, specificallywith Mrs. Utah, um, we, it kind of
helps connect us to our community.
Yes, yes.
And we can take and dowith it whatever we want.

(21:31):
Um, but it's opened up a lot ofopportunity for me personally
to be able to like, um, I justbarely started a nonprofit.
I'm in the middle of like, doingall the tech stuff for it right now.
So it's like, wow.
The LLC and it's gonna be to helpconnect other nonprofits together.
And I actually have a healing,it's called the Wellness Farm.

(21:53):
I'm gonna, I am on their advisoryboard and it's therapy on a farm.
I love that.
Like yoga therapy, grouptherapy, individual therapy.
Once a month they have a themed grouptherapy session, and they have like
a 600 pound pig and a blind dog.

(22:15):
And all the, just, you gothere and you feel grounded.
Yeah, like driving up to the property.
So without the pageant.
I wouldn't be able to go through therefining process that I went through
to be able to get to that place.
'cause that's really whereI feel like I need to be.
Right, right.

(22:37):
And, and again, talking with mystepmom about this last night,
regardless of if you receive the crownor not, like receiving the crown,
I think is, I mean, is everyone'sgoal or they wouldn't be doing it.
But more than that, it opens up somany door of doors of opportunity.
And like you said, as you refine,as you're understanding what you

(23:00):
stand for, what your callings in lifeare, how you want to help others,
and watching those doors open, likethat's what it's about and that's
what you're gaining along the way.
And that stuff doesn'tjust last for a year.
Like a title and a crown and a sash does.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The title and the crownand the sash is fun.
And it also opens doorsof opportunity, but.

(23:23):
God's gonna use all of, all ofyour journey to grow you and to,
to open doors of opportunity foryou to impact others as well.
Yeah.
And I think that's the beautyof pageantry and and of the Mrs.
America, and namely the Mrs.
Utah organization Yeah.
Is that we all cheer each other onin that and we have such a great
sense of community and support.

(23:44):
Well, and the women keep coming back
season after seasoneven if they don't win.
Yeah.
Right.
And that's, that showswe support each other.
Mm-hmm.
That shows
about, and even for those who go toother organizations for a year or
whatever, like, we support them too.
Yeah.
It's not about the titles that we hold.
And that's something that, it's probablyone of the biggest lessons I've learned

(24:07):
through pageantry, and it's been hugein my own life, that like you cannot
identify yourself by the titles thatyou hold in the labels that are on you.
You are, you wereidentified by who you are.
Those labels are your, are your likeassignments in which to do that?
Yes.
Is how I like to see it and ithas helped me so much not allow

(24:32):
my circumstances or what othersthink of me to define who I am.
I love that
And it like propels you onthis self-discovery journey to
figure out what you stand for
Yeah.
And what you're on this earthto do and that can change too.
Yeah.
And those things are, are always anever evolving through the experiences

(24:55):
that we have and that's also Okay.
And your experience in itcan be whatever you make it.
Yes.
Like I've had a lot of people thatask me, what do you have to do?
With your title, like with yoursash, and really, you don't
really have to do anything.
Like you can just Nope.
Show up for the pageant.
Right.

(25:16):
And like, you have to do your interviewand things, but outside of that, like
all the community things and creatingyour platform reclaimed, like yeah.
Whatever you wanna do with that, you can,it's not, it's not a requirement to Right.
Big, huge event or createa brand or do this or that.

(25:38):
Mm-hmm.
None of that is required.
Your whole experience is what you make it.
And for us, it's been just a,it's propelled us to healing
that it's, that's exactly what it's done.
It's propelled us to healing and then alsohelped us learn how to help others Yeah.

(26:01):
And help others throughthat healing process too.
And as, as those other people are,are finding healing from things.
I am too.
And as I'm making my videos for socialmedia, I'm finding healing and God
is speaking to me as I'm talkingand I'm like, oh, that was good.
I need to think aboutthat and live by that.
Like, right.
It happens all the time.
But that's, that's a huge misconceptionthat I believe just that I had to

(26:23):
have it all figured out or I won't beequipped to do this, but like, you're
not gonna be equipped before the calling.
You're called and, and thenyou're equipped as you're going
through it and helping others.
Um,
it kind just step out in faith and do it.
Not to like be too cliche, buthave you heard the building a

(26:43):
plane as you fly it analogy?
I kind of, you haven'theard it in a long time.
It kind of feels like that in a way.
Yeah, it does.
But it's, it does, like asyou're flying, you are finding
things that aren't working right.
So you just gotta fix itand how can you fix it?
Mm-hmm.
So you can fly right.
And there's so many times I'm like,oh, me and my husband are like going

(27:05):
through this rough spot, or, oh,we're having to navigate through this.
I'm like, well, how, who am I tobe telling other people what to do?
But it's like through our experiencesand what we're finding, and maybe I'm
researching for other people and thenI'm like, oh, maybe we should try that.
You know, there's so many things likethat we are growing from, so I can't

(27:26):
compare, like, oh, first can't compare.
Stories can't compare to otherpeople and what they're doing.
You just have to stayfocused on your mission.
Yeah.
And I'm finding healing as I amliving out that mission, which
has been a beautiful thing.
That's so, you
are just, you're such a good person.

(27:47):
I love you.
Um, you just really helped me.
Like you just kept tellingme, be confident and I.
You were life changing for me.
I'm so thankful I to stand nextto you for that little bit.
Yes, I know.
I, we need to make sure we'reon the same side this year.
Yeah.
We'll have to talk to Di and,no, not di, it'd be Alicia.

(28:09):
Alicia.
Yes.
We have to.
Hopefully we are.
And I'm so excited for, I thinkshe's supposed to send out what,
opening number choreography today.
And I'm like, send it.
I'm gonna put all my outfits.
Um, right after the pageant was done lastMarch, I was like, I wanna do it again.

(28:29):
Like, and a lot of peopleget let down when they don't.
Mm-hmm.
Crown.
But I think like.
Especially talking to you and kind oflearning, 'cause you were like, you
kind of took me under your wing toteach me about all the pageant things.
'cause I hadn't, yeah.
Before, um, you were showing methe ropes, I had no idea what I was

(28:52):
doing and I was so thankful for that.
And I think a lot of people get likethe wrong idea when they think about
pageants and they think that everyone'strying to cut each other down or like
they're sabotaging each other or whatever.
But really we're ow, sorry.
We're motivating each other and we'rehelping each other and sharing things.
And we're building each other up.
We're building each otherup and we're not, we're not

(29:15):
trying to undercut each other.
And I haven't ever reallyfelt like it's a competition.
I feel like it's a celebration.
If you view it as a competition,it's you that has the wrong mindset.
And that's what I had the first year.
I mean, granted, I had just turned 21,I was in the middle of nursing school my
first time ever doing a patent like this.
And.
I had a lot of, and I, andI'll be honest, like I was real

(29:38):
butt hurt after the first year.
Did I deserve top 10?
No, I didn't, but I didn't UnderYou had top 10 your first year.
No, I didn't.
No I didn't.
Oh, you didn't.
But that's why I was upset and Iwas like, oh, oh, you know, like I
should have gotten in it, blah, blah.
I had all the wrong mindsets.
I didn't understand what this was about.
Yeah.
And you know, when I decided to come back,when I got over myself, um, like I, I had

(30:03):
had, so I had so much growth last year andthen again exponential growth this year.
And I, and it's not even just beenin like my pageant life, it's been
in my spiritual life and things too.
And I would, a lot of thatis thanks to Abby as well.
She has taken me under herwing spiritually and she is.
Mentored me and she has spoken life intome, helped me understand so many things

(30:26):
that that culture had taught me wrong.
And I think because of all of that,because that is the foundation, my faith
is the foundation of my life, that in turnthere's so many other things that have
blossomed and had fruit because of that.
And so I'm so thankful to her for that.
And it's been really cool also to goon that, on this journey with her and
teach her the ropes and these things.

(30:47):
Um, it's so, I don't rememberwhere I was going with that,
but she's just, she's lighting.
She at the Gallant Times's party.
It was just fun.
I saw her with her lashes done.
And I know people think like all thissuperficial stuff is whatever, but, um,
she is, it's out of hercomfort zone for sure.

(31:09):
You can tell it's not her thing.
It wasn't my thing last year.
Last year was my first year.
This is your third year?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Um.
She's embracing it and she'staking on the challenge and she is
making kits for like, she's just,
she's doing so much and she is, it's beenso cool to watch that and she, and it's

(31:33):
been cool to watch her find healing too.
Yeah.
We're all finding, we're, that'sreally what we're doing is we're all
find finding healing as we're servingothers because our experiences is
what's leading us to those ministries.
Yeah.
Sharing our stories is helping us heal andit's helping others know that they're not
isolated and alone in their experiences.

(31:54):
Right.
Um, so I like the purityculture thing with my family.
It was like, it's notsupposed to feel good.
Right.
You're on, like, you're onlysupposed to do it to make a baby.
Oh.
Don't do it for
any other reason.
Right.
Um, you should only do it if you'remarried, if you do it outside of marriage.

(32:18):
Um, that's awful.
Right?
I had a baby outta wedlockand my mom just hated it.
That was the worst thingthat I could have done.
Um, and so there was a lot of
just that mentality of likebeing dirty and unworthy.

(32:41):
Yeah.
And nobody's gonna want me.
And just what it does to your self-esteem.
Um, my body took on allkinds of traumas, right?
Yeah.
I had to have a total, how old was I?
34. I had to have a total hysterectomy.

(33:02):
Yeah, I had polycystic ovarian syndrome.
Adenomyosis and endometriosis.
Gosh.
And that was after, like, that wasmy seventh laparoscopic surgery.
Ugh,
goodness.
And finally took it out.
But like, I already had kids,I had a couple miscarriages and

(33:22):
my body was just holding on.
It was so heavy.
Right.
It was holding me back.
And after I had that and startedgoing to therapy and healing like my
spiritual self and my soul, then my bodyis able to not be in fight or flight.

(33:44):
Mm-hmm.
And when it's got so muchadrenaline and is it cortisol?
Is that the other one?
Mm-hmm.
Talking a bunch of science, medicalterms for my old CNA days, um, you
can't heal if you're in that state.
Mm-hmm.
Fully kind of, um, but your energy isbeing put into the wrong thing, so Right.

(34:07):
Mindset shift and being able toheal on the inside is also helping
me radiate and heal on the outside.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
And, and when you were talking about thedirty and things, like I, I do, um, I sh

(34:27):
I shared some of those similar beliefs.
It was more of, for me, it was likeI had, I had never really seen a
super healthy, um, what's the word?
Romantic marriage like I had neverseen what healthy romance looked like,

(34:51):
because I feel like, you know, a couplegenerations back, like you don't show
it like in the public, like you don't.
Do that.
Yeah.
And then, um, I'm a child of divorce.
My parents also had me and mytwin sister out of wedlock.
They were, um, in high school still.
And so that obviously, like we didn'tsee, they didn't work out very long

(35:13):
because they were high schoolers.
They, they were growing up, they werenot meant to be together, were babies.
Right.
Like they had two babies.
They were 17 years old.
You know, it's crazy to think about.
And so that was very, thatwas a dysfunctional dynamic.
And, and I will say like Ihave great relationship with

(35:34):
all of my family members now.
So family, I love you.
It's not that, but they also areaware of the dysfunction that
was in our family at that time.
Yeah.
And, um, raised by our grandparents.
Um, they were wonderful examples to us.
I'm so thankful to be raised by them.
But we didn't, you know, eversee a healthy, romantic dynamic

(35:55):
between husband and wife.
So I think that's part of it.
Um, and then part of the belief was,you know that what purity culture says,
there are so many different illustrationsthat used to use like the rose, which
I had a rose here, and they wouldsay, okay, here's your first partner.
And they'd throw the pedal onthe ground and the next partner
throw the pedal on the ground.

(36:16):
Oh, the next partner, throw the pedal onthe ground till you have nothing left.
And then they're likestomping it under their feet.
Not that I ever went through one ofthese classes, but doing my research.
This is literally what they didin these classes to basically
scare people into purity.
Yep.
Um, and they would say, this is your worthnow that you've had all of these partners.
That's so, and.

(36:37):
Actually my, my church that I watchedthis morning, I, I watched my home
church from back in Alabama and it wasabout like the dating life and purity
culture and things and dispelling it,which I was like, what a perfect time
for my church to be talking about that.
How funny, you know?
Yeah.
And it, it made me think of a Bible verse.
It's Romans eight, one, and it says,therefore, there is now no condemnation

(37:01):
for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Like God does not condemn you.
Religion condemns you.
And that is for man.
Yeah.
Other people are condemning.
God is love and he doesn'twant us to feel those ways and.
I grew up thinking, okay, if you thinkof anything even remotely like sexual,

(37:25):
like you, you are, you are so dirty.
Um, I mean, I kissed boys and thingslike that, but like, I very hesitant
on all those kinds of things.
Um,
yeah, just very much like didn'ttell you why you couldn't.
They just say like, don't, or you'rebasically you're going to Hell yeah.

(37:48):
And like, that's that.
So I don't remember my parentslike hugging or kissing or holding
hands or anything like that.
And my parents divorcedafter being married 40 years.
Wow.
And my mom was sleeping on adifferent floor of the house.

(38:09):
Like they used to sleepin the same bed, but like.
The way that they treated each other.
When I was little, I kept askingwhy they didn't just get a divorce.
So I didn't, I never reallyhad an example of what like a
healthy relationship looked like.
Just right.
And what love.

(38:30):
Yeah.
Because love looked like by the timeI came around, they hated each other.
Mm-hmm.
Um, I was kind of like a bandaid, right?
Mm-hmm.
And like my siblings might not agree,like they, but I was there at the end.
Um, and my parents, my mom wouldkind of try to pin me against my

(38:51):
dad and, you know, things like that.
Yeah.
Very sided.
Yeah.
I didn't have a good example ofa healthy relationship and what
that was supposed to look like.
Right.
Um.
So now like I'm married and my husbandhas been divorced and you know, my

(39:12):
child up, like we're blended family andtrying to figure out what, what that
looks like, what it looks like to bea mom, what it looks like to be a dad,
what it looks like to be husband andwife, because we get to decide that.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
But it's hard to know what'sgonna work 'cause you haven't
seen the things that have worked.

(39:32):
And, and another thing for me, even likenot seeing that example and then being
in an abusive household during my middleschool years and being abused by my ex
stepdad and not understanding it was abuseat the time and having so much anxiety and
almost forms of PTSD from, from that too.

(39:55):
That that also, that carries intoyour future relationships and
it's, I think I. This generationis realizing and recognizing that,
and that's why we're flipping thescript like how you and me are.
So then our kids have that goodexample because it, you wanna break
that generational curse with youand, and like you are and like I am.

(40:17):
Yeah.
And it's hard work, but it's gonnabe, it's worth it for our children.
Yeah.
Well and what an example we're setting.
They really look to us for everything.
Yeah.
I think being honest, like we have,we talk about social media a lot, um,
being honest about what we're goingthrough and not just showing the
highlights, not just showing the good.

(40:38):
Right.
Because like Alien, okay, I'mgonna be really random aliens
could cut into our planet.
Right.
And then they would look at our socialmedia and try to do some research and
figure out like what life is like.
And if that's all they had and theydidn't know, they wouldn't actually
know like what humans really go through.

(40:59):
Yeah.
There's so many human experiences that wethink we're going through alone because we
hop on social media and see only the goodthings that people are posting, you know?
So it's, it's important on theplatforms that we can, and just
in real life conversations toshow the good, bad, and the ugly.
So we know that we have community,and so people know that they're
not alone and their strugglesand in the good and the bad.

(41:20):
Like we can celebrate the good,and then your village holds you
up in the bad, and then you dothat for the, for the next person.
Yeah.
That's the, that's the societythat I feel God intended.
Yeah.
And a lot of people maybe thinkthat the society that that Christian
or evangelical culture has now iswhat, like God intended, and it's

(41:42):
not, and that's literally why Jesuscame, is to dispel all the crap
that men were putting in religion.
Men and women.
Men as in humanity?
Yeah.
Or putting in religion and then theytake it to like the other extreme.
Some people,
yeah.
It's either one extreme or the other.

(42:02):
I mean, not to talk about politics,but in so many other human experiences,
including politics, there's so many blackand white things and, and especially
being like a healthcare worker, beingin the experiences that I've had, I'm
like, there's so many, so much middleground that people don't care to look at.
Just in life in general.
Yeah.
And it's like, come on guys, like we'rehuman and not everything is as black

(42:25):
and white as we make it out to be.
So let's find solutions in thegray area because I think that's
where a lot of us, if not allof us live, is in the gray area.
Well, and I wish that there wasless judgment and more Yeah.
Profession and acceptance.
Like we're, we are all humanstrying to have a human experience.
Mm-hmm.
And.

(42:46):
It's hard.
Being a human is hard.
Yeah.
We're just trying to figure it out.
That's what life is, is figuring it out.
Why don't we help each otherfigure it out instead of pointing
fingers and acting like someoneelse is doing it worse than you.
And in reality, we all have our struggles.
Okay.
Look, my husband sent me thatpicture I was talking about earlier.

(43:09):
Hold on.
Okay.
Once upon a time, I met myhusband on a dating website and
this was his profile picture.
'cause I wasn't even gonna, like,I turned on my profile because I
had to turn it on to read it tohelp my friends set her profile up.
I'm gonna see if I can make it bigger.

(43:30):
This was his profile picture.
Oh.
Oh my goodness.
He was in Thailand.
Oh.
And real baby tiger.
Oh, that makes me want a baby tiger.
I know
Tiger King.
Anyway, he still has thatTII still have that t-shirt.

(43:55):
He's in it.
We've almost been married for 10 years.
So your husband is in the Air Force?
My husband was once upon a time.
Um,
I was really kind of hoping I wasn'tgonna end up with somebody from
the military just 'cause I kepthaving bad experiences with them.

(44:16):
But he like, man, it made himwhat he is and I love himself.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah, there's, I feel like there's alot of growth that comes from being
in the military, but there's also likethings about it that I don't like.
Like sometimes that soldiermentality can be really tough.
It can be however, like.

(44:39):
I'm really thankful for the militaryexperiences that we've had, even though
it's been so, so hard, like we wouldnot be where we are today without it.
Yeah.
And I'm actually really thankful forthe deployments and for the, the time we
don't get together because it allows usto appreciate the time we have together.
And even, yeah, even our experie,like I wish we didn't have to

(44:59):
experience everything we've gonethrough in terms of intimacy and
romance and, and purity culture.
However, like as we continue tofind healing from it, we have
our good days and our bad days.
And, and I, I will say this, this likepast week or so, like it's been a little
rough because you have those seasonsof life, but also like, I don't think

(45:22):
I would trade it because of the lessonswe've learned and the growth that we have.
And we're never gonna takeeach other for granted.
And we are a lot stronger than a lotof marriages because we have had to.
Rely on each other and God, for so much.
That has happened in our relationshipand we know it's a beautiful story
that people also need to hear.

(45:43):
Yeah.
Well, and I just love how, I love andappreciate how open and real you are
about it because yeah, a lot of peopleare not, and they kind of try to hide
or like pretend like things are okay ormaybe not vocalize what they need and
mm-hmm.
Just sharing your storyis, it's incredible.

(46:06):
It's very healing.
Yeah.
Thank you.
It's been, it's beenreally healing for me.
And you know, intimacy, sexualityis not something that a lot of
people, especially in the culturein which I grew up, um, very taboo.
Yeah.
But it really doesn't haveto be, and culture is made at
that, not God, not the Bible.
Yeah.

(46:26):
And there's actually a whole book of theBible that's about romance and intimacy.
What is it?
It's called the Song ofSolomon slash Song of Songs.
Oh yes.
Yeah.
And
used to have a song to rememberall the different books.
Oh yeah.
Oh my goodness.
I used to have all those songs.
We used to do like drills in, um, Iwent to a CRI private Christian school

(46:47):
for elementary school and we used todo what's called sword drills because
the Bible is the sword of the spirit.
And we would have theBible, um, here's my Bible.
We would have the Bible like this,and we all had to stand like this.
And this hand had to be underthis hand, had to be over.
You couldn't have your finger over here.
And they would say, okay, John three 16.

(47:08):
And we'd repeat John three 16.
They'd be like, ready, set, go.
And you'd have to go, oh, and find it.
Oh my heck.
Where'd it go?
Where'd it go?
Ah.
Oh.
And then you do this, and then youraise your hand and whoever's first
gets to read it and they get a point.
John three 16.
Oh my God.
Then read it.
Forgot to love the world that hegave his one and only son that

(47:30):
everyone believes in him wouldnot perish, but have eternal life.
And they'd be like, okay, good.
You get a point.
And like whoever had the most pointswould like advance to the next tournament.
We'd have tournaments onhow to find Bible passages.
Yeah.
Anyways, um, um, so like I, I reallyappreciate the way in which I grew
up because I grew up in a wonderfulhome that put family and faith first,

(47:52):
and faith first and family second.
And, and I think that it'sa wonderful way to live.
And, and however, some of those thingsthat culture has placed in the church,
I call it cultural Christianity.
Yeah.
Um, that people think isChristian, but it's really not.
Um, because if you go and readthe Bible, interpret it correctly,

(48:12):
then you'll see it's not in there.
Right.
Um, that's kind of what I'm wanting to,um, flip the script and change the culture
on, because then I think a lot of peoplewould be open to the thought of God.
And the thought of those types ofthings, if it wasn't the way it is
right now, and that's all, that's ourfault as the church in that culture.

(48:37):
We talked, I don't remember, maybeit was you that I talked with about
this, but we talked about like howyou can tell if somebody is a man
of God and like, even though I'm notlike, I'm like, I don't know what I
really believe anymore, but Right.
If somebody is part of a religion andthey're like proclaiming it from the
mountaintops and whatever, that isn'tnecessarily somebody that is a man of God.

(49:02):
Like you can see it in Right.
Their everyday actions andin the little Yes, they do.
Yes.
Um, a huge analogy that usedin the Bible is tree and fruit.
Yeah.
And you'll see what kind of treeit is by the fruit that it bears.
So if it's not bearing fruit,if it's bearing bad fruit.

(49:24):
They're not a man of God.
Yeah.
Their tree is not rooted inactually in scr, in, in the Bible.
Mm-hmm.
And their tree is not rooted in God.
However, you see by their everydayactions where their fruit, you
see what their life is rooted in.
Yeah.
So I have been, like, I was raised goingto church every Sunday and since I got

(49:49):
married, my husband and I don't do that.
It's been like a decade.
We'll go and we'll support familymembers when they're doing things
if they need us to, but mm-hmm.
But we we're not regular churchgoers, my husband's atheist.
Um, and I had to kind of figure out,'cause I had values and things that

(50:10):
were taught to me through the churchand I kind of had to figure out how
to navigate and do that without.
Mm-hmm.
And like, really, what doesparenting look like when you're not.
Taking him to church every Sunday.
And I used to take my daughter tothis church that we really liked,
but I still was just like, I don'tknow, maybe it's not really for me.
But yeah, eventually like you learn,it's less about where you are.

(50:37):
Like you don't have tobe in a church building.
You watched church on your couchand you watched church Alabama.
I love that you're able Yeah.
That like people you knowprobably and things like that.
It that how cool.
But that community and like those valuesand standards and things, I'm thankful
for the ones that I grew up with, right?

(50:59):
I used to teach at a Catholicschool and we just really worked
on, and I'm not Catholic at all.
I learned all about how to be Catholic.
Um, but I just appreciatedhow open they were and.
Like, I was able to ask questionsand they didn't laugh at me

(51:19):
when I was like, that's weird.
That's not like whatthey taught in my church.
And things like that.
Like I appreciated that.
And I appreciate being ableto have open conversations
with people that are
different things than me.
It opens my mind.
Yeah.
So thank you.
I love you.
Yeah, same for me.
Same for me.
And it's, and I think that's been abeautiful thing about military life.

(51:39):
Oh yeah.
Um, that I almost wish everyonecould experience is going to a place
where the culture is different.
Growing up in the Biblebelt and then moving here.
It's a whole different ballgame, butit's because it's a different culture
and people believe different things.
Also, the US is so big that Alabamaand Utah are, are I believe, over

(52:00):
2000 miles away from each other.
Oh yeah.
That's a very like, like somewhere elsethat would be countries away, you know?
Yeah.
And so it's like feel another language.
Mm-hmm.
Culture is different andbeliefs are different.
So it's been very important for theconfidence of my personal faith to

(52:23):
have been expanded to people and to,to live in communities with people
with different beliefs than me.
Yeah.
Um, I took a cultural anthropologyclass when I was in college.
Like one of my, I I had a lot ofthings I wanted to be, when I grew up.
I wanted to be like an anthropologist,but like an archeological archeological.

(52:48):
Like, I wanted to go dig up stuff andfind artifacts and be like, Indiana
Jones, or I wanted to be a surgeon.
Like, yeah, I ended up being a teacher.
Um, but I just loved learning.
I. Their creation stories andlike their roots of humanity

(53:08):
in the stories that they tell.
I did a tiny little stint.
I lived in Florida for a year and Ithink that was my, 'cause I grew up in,
or Oregon moved to Utah when I was 12.
I did my mascara, I'm usingit for a wand, I'm sorry.
And after I moved to Utahwhen I was 12 and then I was
20 I think, and I moved to Floridaand then I moved back when I

(53:31):
was 21 and had my daughter.
And going to Florida, being withnobody that I knew, like I knew one
person and um, experiencing justa whole different life and culture
over there totally changed my life.
I was the other side of the country.

(53:53):
Um, where in Florida wereyou at Orlando Kissemee.
Oh yeah.
I could walk to downtown Disney.
Oh, so fun.
I know.
I would go all the time.
I used to do karaoke with the Disney cast.
Fun.
Really
fun.
I miss going to Disney andall those things that you,

(54:14):
it was like a 10 hour drive
for us, but Oh, that's like,well, we could do Disneyland.
It's just not, we could do Disneyland.
I think we'd need to do agirls trip to Disneyland.
That sounds so fun.
My kids were talking about it lastnight though, so they'd be mad if I went
without them, but we don't have to tell.
That's fine.
We'll do a sneaky trip.

(54:35):
Yeah.
And then they can come on another one.
Yeah, that's fine.
Oh man.
So with your platformreclaimed, what's your plan?
'cause you're doing videos.
Yeah.
Let
me bring out my notebook here.
Tell your
story.
This is.

(54:56):
We get to talk about this when we doour interviews and stuff, so, right.
I wanna hear, I wannahear what your why is.
So, my mission with Reclaimed is to fostersafe environments so that marriage can,
marriages can find freedom from purityculture, and difficulty with intimacy.

(55:19):
Beautiful.
In doing so, I'm equipping couplesto reclaim their worth and identity
through Rev through revealing God's trueperspective on sexuality and intimacy.
Um, and then some things that I have donethat I've been working on, which of course
it's always hard with my work schedule.
Yeah.
But it is important to me.
So, you know, my social media presencehas been my biggest thing so far.

(55:42):
It, it, I think that reachespeople far and wide and
expands, you know, it increasesopportunities for expansion Yeah.
Of people to hear your story.
Um, I'm educating on theirown women's health issues.
Um.
Educating on reclaiming romance there.
There's so many things that Ifocus on, um, on my social media.

(56:05):
Another thing that I've done is I hosteda donation drive for minstrel products,
and in the next couple weeks I'm goingto be delivering those products to a
couple of teen centers in Davis County.
So I found out that all of, uh, DavisCounty High Schools have teen centers.
Teen centers, and it's forlow income and homeless teens.

(56:29):
So they have a place to stay, um,place where they can do their laundry.
They have food, um, shelter.
Oh, that's cool.
And so I think it's really importantfor them to have those, um, essential
supplies because when you don'thave those essential supplies,
you lose your sense of dignity.
And everyone deserves to havedignity when it comes to their

(56:50):
body and their menstrual cycle.
That's true.
So.
Something that I would love to continueto expand, and I think Mrs. Utah
is a great way in which to do it.
It would be a stepping stone and,and a, a microphone for, for my
voice is to continue these donationefforts to get menstrual supplies

(57:14):
for all schools across the Wasatchfront, and then do a tour as I am.
Dropping these donations off, do atour, um, like in the auditoriums of
these schools to do like an in-service.
Mm-hmm.
To explain, okay, this iswhat this product is for.
Like the females.
Okay, this is what this projectis, this is how you use it.

(57:34):
It would be also really cool to utilizemy nursing degree, um, to go into
health classrooms and explain thingsin a way that doesn't sound scary.
And just to educate Yeah.
Women on their bodies and,and how to protect themselves.
I think that would be,that would be really cool.
Um, on my social media, I've alsoco-authored some topical bible

(57:57):
studies alongside Mrs. RockyMountain, which was really fun.
We did that.
Um, we did a Thanksgiving challengeback in November and, um, it was a daily
thing and we swapped back and forth onwhich days that we did the devotionals.
That was really fun.
Um.
The biggest thing on my social media isdispelling the lies of purity culture,

(58:19):
replacing it with God's truth, um, andGod's true perspective on purity and
intimacy and your view of yourself.
Um.
But yeah, my, my biggest God-sized dream,um, something that I hope God utilizes
me for like a career opportunity wouldbe demolishing the detriment of purity

(58:42):
culture, reclaiming our worth and identitythrough feeling God's perspective,
um, throughout the whole nation.
Um, whether that is creating, um, aninteractive date night book, which I hope
is, will be published by the end of thisyear, um, to provide, uh, a no stress.
Um, date night ideas for couplesthat maybe feel like that is a chore

(59:06):
because me and my husband go throughthat a lot of feeling like romance
is a chore and it shouldn't be.
That takes the fun away from it.
Yeah.
Um, so just providinglike a no pressure thing.
Someone can open up, scratchoff and find a cute date night
idea that's low, uh, income.
That's so fun.
So it's budget friendly.
And then I would love to write abook at some point on my struggles

(59:29):
and what I've learned and be ableto have that for purchase and
keynote speaker, keynote speaking.
And I think all those things wouldbe my God-sized dream with this.
Um, and then the final thing that Iwould really love to do at some point
is for me and my husband to host acouple's retreat, a marriage retreat.

(59:49):
I don't know where it would be.
I don't know what that lookslike yet, but that's a, that's
a huge God-sized dream of mine.
To allow couples that are strugglingwith intimacy, to have a community,
to know they're not alone, to beable to talk about it and to find
different ways to, um, cultivate andreclaim that part of their marriage.

(01:00:13):
Yeah.
So those are, those are all ofmy huge, um, ideas right now.
That's so cool.
And
I, you're so incredibly capable.
Thank you.
I love it.
And you're just, I love how openand honest you are about everything.
Like you're, you're very bright lightin my life and I appreciate you.

(01:00:33):
I love you.
I love you too.
And I appreciate you too.
I hope you get to do all of those things.
Um, and I think especially even with like,regardless of getting the crown, I think
that this is something that you could do.
Right?
Right.
Um.

(01:00:53):
And it's powerful.
Like you're standing, you're standingin your power and using your talents,
and you're helping people find asafe space to be in their own body.
Yeah.
And to cultivate and to
not be ashamed of it either.
Oh yeah.
I think that's the big, I think that'sthe big word that we've been missing is

(01:01:16):
shame, because we often feel a lot ofshame and that can block us from a lot.
So many things that, that initself keeps you isolated.
I,
um, I think I felt a lot ofshame last year when I was
still trying to do the pageant.
Like I didn't really feel like I belonged.

(01:01:38):
Mm.
Mm-hmm.
And I definitely stillhave imposter syndrome.
I have no idea what I'm doing.
Yeah.
I feel that, and I think that's something,something that we kind of always go
through in our life because we have allthese big aspirations and the pageant
helps put those into motion for us.
Yeah.
But
I think there's gonna always bea, a little bit of a sense of

(01:01:59):
like, am I really made for this?
Am I really cut out for this?
But that's why you have yourvillage of women around you
to remind you Yes you are.
And yes you can, and yes you will.
Well, and I think even if you winthe crown, or if you don't win the
crown with what you're doing, you'regonna have a whole village of women,
women behind you supporting you along.
Right.
Showing up for you because Right.

(01:02:21):
That's who these people are.
And I'm so crazy thankful for all of them.
Even some of 'em that like, because Utahis a big state too, some of them live kind
of far away and they're, they're stuck foreach other and show up for each other, so.
Right, right.
And, and the thing with reclaimed is.
What I think is differentthan previous years for me.
Not that I'm saying this would win methe crown or not, because regardless,

(01:02:45):
God is using me and God will usethis to open up opportunities for me.
But this is reclaimed as somethingthat's based on my personal experiences.
It's not a seasonal thing in my life.
It's been a pivotaltransformational journey in my life.
And I believe that God hasthis on my heart so he can use

(01:03:07):
this for the rest of my life.
Whether I make a lot of money on itor not, like I pray that I will have
the resources and the opportunityto continue this work and to expand
it and to, to do it, you know, as asmy career would be the goal, because
that's what I'm passionate about.
And I think I've been feeling that moreand more lately, which probably means

(01:03:28):
that God's gonna begin opening doors soon.
So that's really exciting.
Yeah.
Well, and your heart and yoursoul is in it like it is.
You can just tell it's
embedded into who.
It's embedded into who I am,and you're just gonna, but I
think that's the difference.
You're just gonna do good.
Like Yeah.
And you're like, you're owning yourstory and standing in your power

(01:03:49):
and you're reclaiming who you are.
I'm reclaiming, I'mreclaiming my identity.
I'm not allowing that to, I'm notallowing the label of, um, vaness
of difficulty with intimacy.
I'm not allowing thoselabels to define my life.
And yes, there are days that Irevert back into that, but then

(01:04:09):
conversations like this help me toremember that that's not who I am.
That's something I'm going through.
Yeah.
Oh, it's not who I am.
That's powerful.
And that, I think that's where it changes.
Wow.
Yeah.
Mm. You're powerful.
I love you so much, man.

(01:04:31):
I probably have to end this.
I have no idea how long this episode is.
Oh my goodness.
I don't even wanna know.
I just love you so much.
You're, you have a powerful spirit andI am really proud of you and I'm so
happy to know you and thankful thatyou're part of the sash sisterhood that
you took me under your wings so I couldfigure out what the heck I was doing.

(01:04:56):
Um, I just love you so much.
I love you too.
And thank you for the opportunityto, to share my story yet again
because every time I do it, itheals a little part of me too.
Well, I appreciate you doingit and being brave, like being
able to be brave and do it.
'cause it does take some bravery.
So It does.
It absolutely does.

(01:05:16):
Thank you so
much.
Where can we find you?
You can find me on Instagram.
My personal Instagram isk dot Thomas dot Lippert.
And then, um, link to that is my.
Reclaimed social media.
So that's reclaimed ktl because Instagramwouldn't just let me use reclaimed.

(01:05:39):
So my initials at the end.
That
works.
Um, and then, um, on my social media, onmy Instagram, uh, if you click the link in
the bio, you can actually access a Googleform to share your own reclaim story.
This can be anonymous Oh, but,um, to find healing for yourself.
I would love, um, if some peoplewill go in and share their stories.

(01:06:01):
It doesn't just have to be withintimacy, sexuality, it can be anything.
That you feel like you have reclaimedin your life, because I think
that's a universal experience.
So I would love to begin sharingthose as soon as possible.
Yeah.
And there's also a link tree witha variety of resources, um, from

(01:06:21):
my previous posts, so you can findresources to help you and your
partner along in your journey as well.
And you can always deem me on there.
I'm more than happy to answer anyquestions, provide support, prayer,
whatever you need or, or directyou to the appropriate resources
to help you with your needs.
Oh man.
Thank you so much, Kaylyn.

(01:06:42):
I love you.
Absolutely.
Um, okay, friends and others,if you have listened this far.
Thank you so much.
Um, you can find me at not sogenius on Instagram and at not
So Genius podcast on YouTube.
And I don't know, I guess this is the end.
We'll take care of yourselvesout there, the end and.