October 30, 2024 • 28 mins
Embracing Intimacy After Breast Cancer: A Journey of Healing and Self-Discovery
In this episode of Intimacy After, Queen delves into the complex journey of women facing intimacy issues following breast cancer. Addressing breast cancer's physical and emotional aftermath, Queen offers valuable insights into lumpectomy and mastectomy procedures, physical changes, and the importance of self-acceptance. She emphasizes the need for open communication with healthcare providers and partners and suggests strategies like gentle nonsexual touch, mindfulness, and therapy to reclaim intimacy. Queen insists on patience and self-compassion, encouraging listeners to prioritize their well-being and foster emotional connections.
00:00 Welcome to Intimacy After 00:58 Reflecting on a Memorable Conference 01:48 Acknowledging Breast Cancer Survivors 02:47 Understanding Breast Cancer Surgeries 12:12 Physical Changes and Self-Perception 17:48 Reclaiming Intimacy and Emotional Healing 27:02 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
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Episode Transcript
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(00:05):
Hello and welcome.
.999This is Intimacy After, a podcast for mature women facing intimacy issues from various causes.
Please know you are not alone.
It is time to stop suffering in silence.
On this podcast, we give hope that through practice of simple steps and proven tips, you can improve intimacy and resurrect your love life.
(00:33):
Break free, learn to laugh again, to play again, to be happy, to love and know that you are loved.
I am your host, Queen.
Come on inside. 9 00:00:49,196.12244898 --> 00:00:55,226.12244898 A warm welcome inside to yet another episode of intimacy after. 10 00:00:55,766.12244898 --> 00:00:58,256.12244898 I'm so glad you've joined me today. 11 00:00:58,856.12244898 --> 00:01:05,396.12244898 I had the absolute pleasure of speaking at a ladies conference, hosted by pastor Renee Datsun. 12 00:01:05,696.12244898 --> 00:01:07,676.12244898 The final chapter off. 13 00:01:08,126.12244898 --> 00:01:10,466.12244898 I love me better than that. 14 00:01:10,586.12244898 --> 00:01:11,276.12244898 Rich read. 15 00:01:11,666.12244898 --> 00:01:14,696.12244898 It was absolutely phenomenal. 16 00:01:14,726.12244898 --> 00:01:18,266.12244898 Pastor Renee is a wonderful kind warm-hearted jam. 17 00:01:18,566.12244898 --> 00:01:24,86.12244898 And all the speakers were simply awesome and blessed us all. 18 00:01:24,616.12244898 --> 00:01:26,146.12244898 To all the attendees. 19 00:01:26,506.12244898 --> 00:01:30,376.12244898 Thank you for making this event spectacular. 20 00:01:30,706.12244898 --> 00:01:35,146.12244898 Thanks again, pastor Renee and NGM for the invite. 21 00:01:35,896.12244898 --> 00:01:38,596.12244898 Coming down from the high of that ladies retreat. 22 00:01:38,986.12244898 --> 00:01:43,666.12244898 I had to make sure to get this information out in a timely matter. 23 00:01:44,206.12244898 --> 00:01:45,196.12244898 Twice per month. 24 00:01:45,256.12244898 --> 00:01:45,736.12244898 Yup. 25 00:01:46,36.12244898 --> 00:01:47,56.12244898 I could do that. 26 00:01:48,226.12244898 --> 00:02:02,596.12244898 I want to start by acknowledging each of you, my breast cancer survivors, Thrivers and overcomers, who were celebrated extensively during this month of October, but it doesn't stop there. 27 00:02:02,626.12244898 --> 00:02:03,916.12244898 It doesn't stop there. 28 00:02:03,946.12244898 --> 00:02:04,546.12244898 Does it. 29 00:02:04,846.12244898 --> 00:02:08,836.12244898 And the unique journeys you're on or have been on. 30 00:02:08,836.12244898 --> 00:02:16,186.12244898 Continues facing breast cancer can have a profound impact on your lives and relationship. 31 00:02:16,756.12244898 --> 00:02:25,546.12244898 As a radiation oncologist I've seen firsthand out cancer can alter every facet of life, including intimacy. 32 00:02:25,936.12244898 --> 00:02:28,606.12244898 Which is often overlooked though. 33 00:02:28,726.12244898 --> 00:02:30,616.12244898 Deeply significant. 34 00:02:31,306.12244898 --> 00:02:39,376.12244898 I'm committed to addressing these concerns, because I believe that healing is about more than just treating the disease. 35 00:02:39,676.12244898 --> 00:02:42,556.12244898 It's about embracing life fully. 36 00:02:43,186.12244898 --> 00:02:46,786.12244898 After all the active treatment is completed. 37 00:02:47,566.12244898 --> 00:02:56,926.12244898 In today's episode, we're going to dive into the emotional, physical, and relationship aspect of intimacy specifically after breast cancer. 38 00:02:57,376.12244898 --> 00:03:05,26.12244898 Breast cancer diagnosis is overwhelmingly common and many of you have reached out with specific questions. 39 00:03:05,476.12244898 --> 00:03:09,346.12244898 I'll try to answer as many within the context of this podcast. 40 00:03:09,586.12244898 --> 00:03:11,506.12244898 Without making it too lengthy. 41 00:03:11,716.12244898 --> 00:03:15,946.12244898 So I asked an advance for your grace. 42 00:03:15,976.12244898 --> 00:03:24,16.12244898 If I don't get to answer your specific questions, keep an eye in an air out for upcoming monthly. 43 00:03:24,706.12244898 --> 00:03:29,656.12244898 Q and a about health starting in 2025. 44 00:03:30,796.12244898 --> 00:03:33,286.12244898 But I just want you to know. 45 00:03:34,36.12244898 --> 00:03:35,86.12244898 I hear you. 46 00:03:35,506.12244898 --> 00:03:48,646.12244898 Let's explore how important it is to approach this healing process holistically, ensuring that every part of your journey receives the attention that it deserves. 47 00:03:49,96.12244898 --> 00:03:51,436.12244898 Let's start by addressing what you can see. 48 00:03:51,886.12244898 --> 00:03:58,586.12244898 Let's address the physical aspect, the physical changes you might be experiencing. 49 00:03:58,976.12244898 --> 00:04:03,776.12244898 First thing to know is that it is normal to be apprehensive. 50 00:04:04,136.12244898 --> 00:04:06,866.12244898 About the changes you see when you look in the mirror. 51 00:04:07,326.12244898 --> 00:04:09,606.12244898 Or the feel of your breast. 52 00:04:10,26.12244898 --> 00:04:18,766.12244898 Some of you have a larger breasts, so the changes may or may not be as noticeable versus someone who has a size, a B cup. 53 00:04:19,666.12244898 --> 00:04:22,306.12244898 Wait, let me not get ahead of myself though. 54 00:04:22,516.12244898 --> 00:04:27,736.12244898 Let's talk about the changes based on the type of surgery that you've had. 55 00:04:27,786.12244898 --> 00:04:28,986.12244898 Stepping back a bit. 56 00:04:29,466.12244898 --> 00:04:37,986.12244898 If you go to my website, there are links that are for self-education both free videos and affordable course. 57 00:04:38,476.12244898 --> 00:04:46,966.12244898 But have no fare, I'll cover some basics here for my listeners who are not breast cancer survivors, Thrivers or overcomers. 58 00:04:47,356.12244898 --> 00:04:50,476.12244898 If you have not been directly affected by breast cancer. 59 00:04:50,866.12244898 --> 00:04:51,646.12244898 Welcome. 60 00:04:51,916.12244898 --> 00:04:57,886.12244898 This will provide some insight into what your family or friend may be experiencing. 61 00:04:58,246.12244898 --> 00:05:00,226.12244898 Let's start with the type of surgeries. 62 00:05:00,556.12244898 --> 00:05:04,696.12244898 I will do some basics for those who have not gone through breast cancer diagnosis. 63 00:05:04,696.12244898 --> 00:05:12,976.12244898 And for those who never truly understood the differences right now, you know me by now, I like to keep things simple. 64 00:05:13,456.12244898 --> 00:05:26,266.12244898 Therefore, if you are in the medical field, this simplistic approach may be a little bit too simple for you, but I have to address the majority of my listeners. 65 00:05:26,326.12244898 --> 00:05:27,676.12244898 So hang in there with me. 66 00:05:27,796.12244898 --> 00:05:28,756.12244898 I'll get to that. 67 00:05:29,236.12244898 --> 00:05:33,556.12244898 So the surgeries are lumpectomy mastectomy. 68 00:05:33,916.12244898 --> 00:05:37,486.12244898 And after mastectomy, some folks may opt for. 69 00:05:38,266.12244898 --> 00:05:39,496.12244898 Reconstruction. 70 00:05:40,36.12244898 --> 00:05:48,226.12244898 There are different types of reconstructive surgeries, which are beyond the scope of this podcast, but we'll provide some guidance on. 71 00:05:48,526.12244898 --> 00:05:50,926.12244898 Questions that you may consider asking. 72 00:05:51,616.12244898 --> 00:05:54,316.12244898 Let's first look at lumpectomy. 73 00:05:55,636.12244898 --> 00:05:56,836.12244898 Simply speaking. 74 00:05:58,36.12244898 --> 00:06:03,646.12244898 Imagine you baked a small lemon pound cake and there is a Razan in it. 75 00:06:04,366.12244898 --> 00:06:07,246.12244898 Uh, Razan does not belong in a lemon pound cake. 76 00:06:07,966.12244898 --> 00:06:11,656.12244898 If the poundcake is your breast, and the reason is the cancer. 77 00:06:12,106.12244898 --> 00:06:19,36.12244898 Uh, lumpectomy is like removing that Razan only from the pound cake, your breast. 78 00:06:19,786.12244898 --> 00:06:22,546.12244898 The doctor takes out just the lump. 79 00:06:23,116.12244898 --> 00:06:26,26.12244898 Or the tumor slash raising in this case. 80 00:06:26,456.12244898 --> 00:06:32,696.12244898 And the little bit of the surrounding tissue leaving most of the breasts as it is. 81 00:06:33,146.12244898 --> 00:06:34,706.12244898 Otherwise intact. 82 00:06:34,756.12244898 --> 00:06:38,866.12244898 It's done to remove the cancer while keeping as much of the breast as possible. 83 00:06:39,586.12244898 --> 00:06:47,386.12244898 Essentially, you have a lemon pound cake with an area of defect where the raise and was removed. 84 00:06:47,656.12244898 --> 00:06:58,576.34920635 Now that area of defect like scooping out a scoop of ice cream that will be filled in with fluid but the body will eventually resolve that. 85 00:06:59,276.34920635 --> 00:07:05,426.34920635 You may feel a knot after the surgery for a while, but eventually that will go away. 86 00:07:05,786.34920635 --> 00:07:08,996.34920635 Or in some cases it will just stay there. 87 00:07:08,996.34920635 --> 00:07:12,326.34920635 And it'll just be a little firmer than usual. 88 00:07:13,26.34920635 --> 00:07:16,986.34920635 If you have up to two Abba mastectomy. 89 00:07:17,256.34920635 --> 00:07:21,726.34920635 Now the mastectomy is when the doctor removes the whole breast. 90 00:07:22,716.34920635 --> 00:07:34,386.34920635 That is the whole lemon pound cake is removed because the Razan is too large or too many raisins got into the lemon pound cake. 91 00:07:34,836.34920635 --> 00:07:48,786.34920635 Does that make sense? So multiple lumpectomies to remove all the little raisins, we'll leave a lot of cavity and change that the shape of the breast may not be cousin medically pleasing. 92 00:07:49,86.34920635 --> 00:07:49,776.34920635 So. 93 00:07:50,46.34920635 --> 00:07:52,296.34920635 A mastectomy is sometimes done. 94 00:07:52,296.34920635 --> 00:07:54,516.34920635 If the cancer is large. 95 00:07:54,936.34920635 --> 00:07:58,626.34920635 Or if there are multiple spots with cancer in the breast. 96 00:07:59,316.34920635 --> 00:08:05,466.34920635 It's a bigger surgery than a lumpectomy, but it helps make sure all the cancer cells are taken out. 97 00:08:06,326.34920635 --> 00:08:11,396.34920635 Conversely, if it is a large Razan and you have a small breast. 98 00:08:11,816.34920635 --> 00:08:14,36.34920635 Attempting to do a lumpectomy. 99 00:08:14,696.34920635 --> 00:08:15,746.34920635 We'll essentially. 100 00:08:15,746.34920635 --> 00:08:20,556.34920635 Take away all the breast tissue so it's like a small lemon cake. 101 00:08:20,856.34920635 --> 00:08:23,766.34920635 That has a big. 102 00:08:23,766.34920635 --> 00:08:25,716.34920635 Like dates or prune. 103 00:08:26,226.34920635 --> 00:08:27,36.34920635 So. 104 00:08:27,36.34920635 --> 00:08:28,266.34920635 Trying to. 105 00:08:29,46.34920635 --> 00:08:35,196.34920635 Preserve the breast would not be recommended in those cases. 106 00:08:36,246.34920635 --> 00:08:42,366.34920635 Talk to your doctor and make sure you understand which procedure is a better for you. 107 00:08:42,366.34920635 --> 00:08:44,886.34920635 If you have not started on this journey. 108 00:08:46,86.34920635 --> 00:08:51,756.34920635 Reconstructive surgery after mastectomy though is a whole nother conversation. 109 00:08:52,176.34920635 --> 00:08:56,976.34920635 After a mastectomy, some people choose to have reconstructive surgery wishes. 110 00:08:56,976.34920635 --> 00:09:02,946.34920635 When the doctor rebuilds the shape of the breast, create a whole new pound cake. 111 00:09:02,976.34920635 --> 00:09:03,756.34920635 If you will. 112 00:09:04,206.34920635 --> 00:09:09,846.34920635 This can be done with tissue from other parts of the body or with implants. 113 00:09:10,896.34920635 --> 00:09:15,606.34920635 It helps make the chest look more like it did before in clothing. 114 00:09:15,946.34920635 --> 00:09:18,76.34920635 Some may opt for larger breasts. 115 00:09:18,796.34920635 --> 00:09:21,256.34920635 Smaller breasts, June reconstruction. 116 00:09:21,466.34920635 --> 00:09:25,846.34920635 And some of you may opt to not do any reconstruction at all. 117 00:09:26,236.34920635 --> 00:09:29,536.34920635 Instead, preferring to use prosthesis. 118 00:09:30,76.34920635 --> 00:09:37,366.34920635 Falls material in the bra or just nothing at all, choosing to remain flat chested. 119 00:09:37,466.34920635 --> 00:09:37,916.34920635 Look. 120 00:09:38,396.34920635 --> 00:09:46,526.34920635 All of that are decisions that you make after informed conversation with your physician. 121 00:09:46,676.34920635 --> 00:09:49,766.34920635 And that is why I always always recommend. 122 00:09:50,306.34920635 --> 00:09:53,726.34920635 Having conversations with your doctors, don't be intimidated. 123 00:09:54,26.34920635 --> 00:09:59,126.34920635 Write down the stuff that you need to ask and make sure you know what to expect. 124 00:09:59,336.34920635 --> 00:10:05,786.34920635 And that's what the journal and guide is for specifically the breast cancer journal and Clyde was just also on my website. 125 00:10:06,26.34920635 --> 00:10:09,716.34920635 It kind of holds your hands and walk you through the questions to ask. 126 00:10:09,956.34920635 --> 00:10:18,806.34920635 And then there's also space to write down the answer and don't be afraid to ask your doctor to simplify it so you can understand right. 127 00:10:19,586.34920635 --> 00:10:19,946.34920635 Look. 128 00:10:20,486.34920635 --> 00:10:24,86.34920635 I cannot begin to tell you how many patients I've asked. 129 00:10:24,566.34920635 --> 00:10:27,506.34920635 What they should do as it pertained to surgeries. 130 00:10:28,166.34920635 --> 00:10:42,56.34920635 But disclaimer, here, I'm famous for my disclaimers, right? I am not on your medical team as a decision to have lumpectomy versus mastectomy and or reconstructive surgery should not be taken lightly. 131 00:10:42,416.34920635 --> 00:10:53,76.34920635 Of course, sometimes the decision is made for you to Merce too large or too many small ones, but if just embarking on this journey, always ask. 132 00:10:53,346.34920635 --> 00:10:58,146.34920635 How will, I know if I need radiation therapy after surgery. 133 00:10:58,806.34920635 --> 00:10:59,676.34920635 Hint, hint. 134 00:11:00,876.34920635 --> 00:11:03,426.34920635 You should speak to a radiation oncologist. 135 00:11:03,816.34920635 --> 00:11:04,146.34920635 Right. 136 00:11:04,926.34920635 --> 00:11:14,466.34920635 If I opt for a lumpectomy, what will my breasts look like? What about the nipples? Will I lose that? Hint, hint. 137 00:11:15,366.34920635 --> 00:11:17,676.34920635 I've had folks who were surprised. 138 00:11:17,976.34920635 --> 00:11:18,366.34920635 That. 139 00:11:18,366.34920635 --> 00:11:21,246.34920635 Hey, I didn't know it was going to lose my nipples. 140 00:11:21,816.34920635 --> 00:11:23,166.34920635 Worth a conversation. 141 00:11:23,166.34920635 --> 00:11:24,996.34920635 If the tumor is close to the nipple. 142 00:11:26,16.34920635 --> 00:11:27,66.34920635 Next question. 143 00:11:27,756.34920635 --> 00:11:29,346.34920635 If I have mastectomy. 144 00:11:29,676.34920635 --> 00:11:42,36.34920635 How long after surgery, do I have to decide whether or not I want to have reconstruction? Just in case you want to change your mind one way or the other. 145 00:11:42,906.34920635 --> 00:11:53,16.34920635 There are a lot more questions in the journal and guide on my website that will help you walk through the process of questions to ask before, during and after treatment. 146 00:11:53,226.34920635 --> 00:11:56,526.34920635 And you can pick that book up on Amazon at any time. 147 00:11:57,66.34920635 --> 00:12:04,656.34920635 Remember these surgical options depends on how much cancer there is and your personal choice. 148 00:12:05,106.34920635 --> 00:12:09,516.34920635 This will help each person get the care that's best suited for them. 149 00:12:09,936.34920635 --> 00:12:11,886.34920635 The best decision for you. 150 00:12:12,726.34920635 --> 00:12:15,906.34920635 Let's address the physical impact of these surgeries. 151 00:12:16,896.34920635 --> 00:12:18,156.34920635 So currently. 152 00:12:19,416.34920635 --> 00:12:21,96.34920635 When you look in the mirror. 153 00:12:21,576.34920635 --> 00:12:23,556.34920635 What do you see? Wait. 154 00:12:24,606.34920635 --> 00:12:32,896.34920635 Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror naked? Some of you may initially disregard the area where you had surgery. 155 00:12:33,556.34920635 --> 00:12:37,756.34920635 And try to make it as though it's not a part of you anymore. 156 00:12:38,496.34920635 --> 00:12:40,656.34920635 Treat it like a separate thing. 157 00:12:41,386.34920635 --> 00:12:42,496.34920635 It's difficult. 158 00:12:42,826.34920635 --> 00:12:43,456.34920635 Yes. 159 00:12:43,996.34920635 --> 00:12:45,766.34920635 But you should look. 160 00:12:46,276.34920635 --> 00:12:48,676.34920635 Go and look now as you listen. 161 00:12:48,946.34920635 --> 00:12:50,326.34920635 If able to do so. 162 00:12:51,76.34920635 --> 00:12:52,186.34920635 Take a look. 163 00:12:52,786.34920635 --> 00:12:53,686.34920635 At your body. 164 00:12:55,66.34920635 --> 00:13:04,606.34920635 What do you think about what you see? How does your breast feel? Is there feeling in the breast area from the surgery. 165 00:13:05,266.34920635 --> 00:13:07,516.34920635 Is it from hard. 166 00:13:08,416.34920635 --> 00:13:11,776.34920635 If you have not touched your breasts since lumpectomy. 167 00:13:12,166.34920635 --> 00:13:13,816.34920635 It's okay to do so. 168 00:13:14,686.34920635 --> 00:13:25,306.34920635 Are you comfortable with the outcome and what you see? This is the first hurdle, right? And the back of most folks mine is that men are. 169 00:13:25,936.34920635 --> 00:13:27,346.34920635 Visual creatures. 170 00:13:27,946.34920635 --> 00:13:31,276.34920635 And you are looking at yourself and thinking. 171 00:13:31,936.34920635 --> 00:13:34,576.34920635 This does not look visually appealing. 172 00:13:34,966.34920635 --> 00:13:37,846.34920635 I cannot let him see me like this. 173 00:13:39,166.34920635 --> 00:13:40,456.34920635 But sister friend. 174 00:13:40,606.34920635 --> 00:13:42,526.34920635 Yes, you can. 175 00:13:42,886.34920635 --> 00:13:49,306.34920635 Despite that whole thing about being visually appealing, what's even deeper than that. 176 00:13:49,576.34920635 --> 00:13:56,656.34920635 It's the love that your mate has for you, but we'll get through how to walk through this first vote. 177 00:13:57,16.34920635 --> 00:14:03,316.34920635 You have to get over the hurdle yourself, become comfortable with the new you. 178 00:14:03,796.34920635 --> 00:14:07,816.34920635 If you had a mastectomy and opted for no reconstruction. 179 00:14:08,206.34920635 --> 00:14:12,616.34920635 The chest scar can be challenging to accept initially. 180 00:14:13,246.34920635 --> 00:14:16,6.34920635 My patient in the past who had sizable breast. 181 00:14:16,6.34920635 --> 00:14:22,276.34920635 I considered this a very high hurdle for those who will work up a or B. 182 00:14:22,576.34920635 --> 00:14:24,376.34920635 Flat chest or no breast. 183 00:14:24,856.34920635 --> 00:14:30,496.34920635 It's not a far cry from what they had, but it is still very different. 184 00:14:31,216.34920635 --> 00:14:38,476.34920635 My patient typically appreciated the acknowledgement that yes, the area is from yes. 185 00:14:38,716.34920635 --> 00:14:40,546.34920635 The area is different. 186 00:14:40,756.34920635 --> 00:14:41,416.34920635 Yes. 187 00:14:41,716.34920635 --> 00:14:54,826.34920635 This is normal for patients who had this type of surgery or no, this is not the normal, your surgery was a little bit more extensive or whatever the case may be. 188 00:14:56,206.34920635 --> 00:15:06,706.34920635 As a physician, I had to remember that ladies post any surgeries do not go around showing themselves and their scars to other ladies. 189 00:15:07,126.34920635 --> 00:15:12,836.34920635 Even with increased social media, posting some report feeling offended. 190 00:15:13,166.34920635 --> 00:15:16,556.34920635 Others wish they could see more variety. 191 00:15:16,826.34920635 --> 00:15:20,306.34920635 Or a mixture of both are reported. 192 00:15:20,306.34920635 --> 00:15:27,656.34920635 Most physician fail to realize that they are the eyes of normalcy for most patients. 193 00:15:28,376.34920635 --> 00:15:29,36.34920635 Yet. 194 00:15:29,576.34920635 --> 00:15:30,206.34920635 Yet. 195 00:15:30,806.34920635 --> 00:15:33,476.34920635 Everyone remains unique in their outcome. 196 00:15:33,506.34920635 --> 00:15:38,846.34920635 Right? Some surgical outcome are quite artistic and scars are minimal. 197 00:15:39,206.34920635 --> 00:15:44,426.34920635 While others? Well, Not done with such finesse. 198 00:15:45,806.34920635 --> 00:15:47,666.34920635 Some surgeons will tell you. 199 00:15:47,936.34920635 --> 00:15:52,736.34920635 The extra tissue was left for possibilities of reconstruction. 200 00:15:53,156.34920635 --> 00:16:00,506.34920635 Or the patient was more heavyset and too much tissue or something in between. 201 00:16:01,406.34920635 --> 00:16:05,306.34920635 Most of you were more concerned about getting rid of the cancer. 202 00:16:05,666.34920635 --> 00:16:09,416.34920635 And nothing cosmetic cross your mind at that time. 203 00:16:09,746.34920635 --> 00:16:19,736.34920635 However, if you're at the beginning of your process, The surgery, it is worthwhile asking about expected cosmetic outcome. 204 00:16:20,456.34920635 --> 00:16:25,676.34920635 You should not be surprised to find that the nipple was staken, if that was not discussed. 205 00:16:25,706.34920635 --> 00:16:34,556.34920635 And if a tumor is close to the nipple and the nipple is taken, ask about to, to wing the nipple back on later. 206 00:16:35,376.34920635 --> 00:16:39,696.34920635 I have seen quite a few awesome to tude on nipples. 207 00:16:40,646.3492063 --> 00:16:43,736.3492063 Also remember whatever scar that is there. 208 00:16:43,856.3492063 --> 00:16:51,356.3492063 If you have radiation that will make the scar more pronounced and. 209 00:16:52,226.3492063 --> 00:16:54,146.3492063 F your post lumpectomy. 210 00:16:54,266.3492063 --> 00:16:56,666.3492063 It can cause the breast to shrink. 211 00:16:57,86.3492063 --> 00:16:58,466.3492063 After radiation. 212 00:16:58,916.3492063 --> 00:17:05,456.3492063 Yes, these are the questions are in the book and the conversation that you should have with your doctors. 213 00:17:05,456.3492063 --> 00:17:11,906.3492063 They're specific questions for the surgeons, specific questions for the medical oncologist. 214 00:17:11,906.3492063 --> 00:17:18,86.3492063 That's the doctor who gives chemotherapy and specific questions for radiation oncologist. 215 00:17:19,346.3492063 --> 00:17:25,196.3492063 One step at a time, but you need to ask these questions and write them down so you can look at them later. 216 00:17:26,206.3492063 --> 00:17:35,356.3492063 If you had reconstruction while there is a breast structure there, you may find that physically the function is quite different. 217 00:17:35,776.3492063 --> 00:17:38,806.3492063 Such as you cannot feel anything. 218 00:17:39,406.3492063 --> 00:17:47,466.3492063 It may not look balanced in the Miro, and sometimes you may even forget that it is there. 219 00:17:48,156.3492063 --> 00:17:55,626.3492063 What you see and feel after breast cancer treatment can affect desire and even your physical comfort. 220 00:17:56,706.3492063 --> 00:17:57,726.3492063 It's a journey. 221 00:17:58,446.3492063 --> 00:18:03,396.3492063 So thinking of your mates in the mix can bring on quite a bit of apprehension. 222 00:18:03,666.3492063 --> 00:18:07,656.3492063 So you have to start with you first. 223 00:18:07,926.3492063 --> 00:18:09,336.3492063 It is not selfish. 224 00:18:09,816.3492063 --> 00:18:15,156.3492063 Processing your journey and the physical changes will take time. 225 00:18:15,606.3492063 --> 00:18:22,656.3492063 You must find a way to express that without totally alienating or shutting out your hubby. 226 00:18:23,166.3492063 --> 00:18:27,516.3492063 Your concerns about scars, body changes. 227 00:18:28,86.3492063 --> 00:18:35,46.3492063 Radiation treatment effect, chemotherapy treatment effect and adjustments that are necessary. 228 00:18:35,646.3492063 --> 00:18:38,136.3492063 They are perfectly okay. 229 00:18:39,6.3492063 --> 00:18:51,36.3492063 One helpful approach is to focus on gentle exercises or physical therapies that can help rebuild strength and boost confidence above all. 230 00:18:51,336.3492063 --> 00:18:55,26.3492063 It is crucial to discover what feels pleasurable. 231 00:18:55,446.3492063 --> 00:18:59,736.3492063 And comforting to you, sister, friend. 232 00:19:00,696.3492063 --> 00:19:18,456.3492063 You must acknowledge your physical changes in order to reclaim intimacy, start with navigating physical sensitivities, right? Like altered sensations, scars, or pain, which can influence how you may feel about physical intimacy. 233 00:19:18,936.3492063 --> 00:19:22,956.3492063 Discuss strategies to approach physical touch. 234 00:19:23,436.3492063 --> 00:19:39,56.3492063 Gradually starting with gentle nonsexual touch to reestablish comfort and confidence, then try creating new definition of intimacy for your self and your hobby. 235 00:19:39,476.3492063 --> 00:19:46,436.3492063 Explore the idea that intimacy doesn't have to be limited to traditional sexual expressions. 236 00:19:46,716.3492063 --> 00:19:55,566.3492063 Talk about sensory intimacy working around any current limitations example, you may consider a massages. 237 00:19:55,956.3492064 --> 00:19:58,716.3492064 Bath together, gentle touch. 238 00:19:59,76.3492063 --> 00:20:07,596.3492063 These are very powerful ways to feel connected and reawaken physical closeness without pressure. 239 00:20:08,166.3492063 --> 00:20:09,666.3492063 Or expectation. 240 00:20:10,56.3492063 --> 00:20:17,466.3492064 When there's no expectation, then self-discovery and open communication are at its best. 241 00:20:17,886.3492063 --> 00:20:24,216.3492064 It's important to discover your own comfort zone, right? Which may have shifted after breast cancer treatment. 242 00:20:24,486.3492064 --> 00:20:30,126.3492063 It is important to explore and communicate these boundaries with your partner. 243 00:20:30,456.3492064 --> 00:20:39,606.3492063 Despite the challenges, honest discussion about likes dislikes and current needs can be empowering. 244 00:20:40,746.3492064 --> 00:20:45,246.3492064 This will segue into the emotional journey to embracing intimacy. 245 00:20:45,486.3492064 --> 00:20:53,856.3492063 After breast cancer, we have discussed a lot already and the emotional is intertwined with the physical. 246 00:20:54,406.3492063 --> 00:21:02,566.3492063 It's normal to experience changes in body image and self-esteem, you may feel vulnerable or even fearful of rejection. 247 00:21:02,836.3492063 --> 00:21:09,526.3492064 It's important to give yourself grace and patience as you navigate these emotions. 248 00:21:09,886.3492063 --> 00:21:13,786.3492063 Self-compassion can be a powerful ally. 249 00:21:14,266.3492064 --> 00:21:20,626.3492063 As can joining support groups or seeking guidance from counselors who understand. 250 00:21:20,986.3492064 --> 00:21:22,156.3492063 Your journey. 251 00:21:23,26.3492064 --> 00:21:26,926.3492063 It's important to find counselors who can. 252 00:21:26,926.3492063 --> 00:21:32,326.3492063 Understand what your journey looks like as a cancer survivor thriver. 253 00:21:32,416.3492063 --> 00:21:33,766.3492064 Our overcomer. 254 00:21:34,486.3492064 --> 00:21:36,226.3492063 The issues you're facing. 255 00:21:36,466.3492063 --> 00:21:40,816.3492063 Having completed cancer treatment would be different from others. 256 00:21:41,26.3492064 --> 00:21:45,286.3492063 And that need to be acknowledged during your counseling session. 257 00:21:46,376.3492064 --> 00:21:57,86.3492064 But, it is important to acknowledge your loss and the many changes breast cancer can definitely alter yourself image and relationship with your body. 258 00:21:58,126.3492064 --> 00:22:10,636.3492064 Many of you survivors, Thrivers and overcomers feel a sense of loss or struggle with confidence, especially for those of you who had the breast cancer journey. 259 00:22:11,116.3492064 --> 00:22:12,16.3492064 Twice. 260 00:22:12,346.3492064 --> 00:22:16,726.3492064 Or you're currently dealing with metastatic breast cancer. 261 00:22:17,866.3492064 --> 00:22:19,546.3492064 I hear you. 262 00:22:20,386.3492064 --> 00:22:30,106.3492064 The emotional roller coaster of being tearful, angry, being okay with it back to being scared and a range of emotions can be weary. 263 00:22:30,496.3492064 --> 00:22:37,826.3492064 It is important to recognize these feelings and write about it to yourself to encourage the healing process. 264 00:22:38,876.3492064 --> 00:22:40,46.3492064 Pre COVID. 265 00:22:40,376.3492064 --> 00:22:49,436.3492064 I had conversations with survivors, Thrivers and overcomers who were in the public eye for one reason or another career related. 266 00:22:50,36.3492064 --> 00:22:58,826.3492064 The treatment changed their parents and clothing or certain scars from radiation could be seen, or the wigs were not as complimentary. 267 00:22:59,546.3492064 --> 00:23:01,256.3492064 That is when reframing. 268 00:23:01,586.3492064 --> 00:23:03,226.3492064 And transparency R. 269 00:23:03,467.5283447 --> 00:23:04,508.7755102 your best weapon. 270 00:23:05,58.7755102 --> 00:23:14,508.7755102 Not to encourage pity, but to make others aware that there were warriors and what they are seeing is a fighting spirit holding on. 271 00:23:15,108.7755102 --> 00:23:17,58.7755102 Working from home post COVID. 272 00:23:17,388.7755102 --> 00:23:19,398.7755102 It's not as bad anymore. 273 00:23:19,608.7755102 --> 00:23:30,678.7755102 And with the internet awareness has made a big change for many, however, Accepting one's body post-treatment remains a personal journey. 274 00:23:31,378.7755102 --> 00:23:38,248.7755102 It is crucial to embrace self compassion on the path to self acceptance and emotional healing. 275 00:23:38,578.7755102 --> 00:23:45,628.7755102 Have mentioned journaling before that's because it's a way to be a true and great friend. 276 00:23:46,138.7755102 --> 00:23:47,398.7755102 To yourself. 277 00:23:48,178.7755102 --> 00:23:56,458.7755102 You're able to revisit and see your thoughts and how you had different situations at different times and how you handled stuff. 278 00:23:56,998.7755102 --> 00:23:59,248.7755102 It's never too late to start journaling. 279 00:23:59,968.7755102 --> 00:24:07,528.7755102 Also practicing mindfulness and consider exploring therapy for assistance in areas where you struggle. 280 00:24:08,488.7755102 --> 00:24:10,18.7755102 Is highly recommended. 281 00:24:10,678.7755102 --> 00:24:12,448.7755102 You are not alone. 282 00:24:12,748.7755102 --> 00:24:16,948.7755102 It is never too late or a bad idea to seek therapy. 283 00:24:17,758.7755102 --> 00:24:25,48.7755102 Try a couple of sessions, at least before you say no to therapy or speaking to others. 284 00:24:25,568.7755102 --> 00:24:37,208.7755102 Once you have addressed self and at a good place, then work on reestablishing, emotional connection with your partner, right? It's a step wise process. 285 00:24:37,418.7755102 --> 00:24:40,868.7755102 You cannot just jump to the end and expect. 286 00:24:41,228.7755102 --> 00:24:45,368.7755102 Acceptance and reciprocity and everything being okay. 287 00:24:45,548.7755102 --> 00:24:48,68.7755102 When you haven't dealt with yourself first. 288 00:24:48,428.7755102 --> 00:24:49,148.7755102 So. 289 00:24:50,108.7755102 --> 00:24:53,648.7755102 It takes understanding, and it does take time. 290 00:24:54,188.7755102 --> 00:25:01,898.7755102 Again, Talk about how to rekindle that emotional intimacy by openly discussing fears and desires. 291 00:25:01,898.7755102 --> 00:25:05,78.7755102 Uh, allowing vulnerability to rebuild trust. 292 00:25:05,498.7755102 --> 00:25:06,998.7755102 And your closeness. 293 00:25:07,868.7755102 --> 00:25:13,178.7755102 Openness can be a healing process for both you and your partner. 294 00:25:13,878.7755102 --> 00:25:17,628.7755102 It might feel daunting to discuss needs and boundaries. 295 00:25:18,18.7755102 --> 00:25:22,668.7755102 But it's important for building understanding and support. 296 00:25:23,148.7755102 --> 00:25:25,458.7755102 Share your feelings. 297 00:25:26,58.7755102 --> 00:25:27,528.7755102 Listen to each other. 298 00:25:28,158.7755102 --> 00:25:32,838.7755102 This can foster empathy and can deepen your connection. 299 00:25:33,648.7755102 --> 00:25:46,8.7755102 It's also an opportunity to be creative and discover new forms of closeness beyond the physical emotional intimacy can be immensely fulfilling. 300 00:25:46,308.7755102 --> 00:25:49,578.7755102 And can bring you closer to your partner. 301 00:25:49,848.7755102 --> 00:25:51,408.7755102 In meaningful ways. 302 00:25:52,108.7755102 --> 00:25:53,938.7755102 In my previous podcast. 303 00:25:54,268.7755102 --> 00:26:00,628.7755102 We discuss all the ways that you can be intimate without physical intercourse. 304 00:26:00,878.7755102 --> 00:26:04,238.7755102 I think that can apply here as well. 305 00:26:04,538.7755102 --> 00:26:10,328.7755102 It's just a big, broad scope umbrella of all the different things that you can explore. 306 00:26:11,318.7755102 --> 00:26:12,398.7755102 Don't give up. 307 00:26:12,788.7755102 --> 00:26:15,488.7755102 No that you are not alone, right. 308 00:26:15,818.7755102 --> 00:26:21,998.7755102 And if you are with someone, you have to encourage them to be with you on the journey. 309 00:26:21,998.7755102 --> 00:26:23,18.7755102 Once you have. 310 00:26:23,588.7755102 --> 00:26:25,118.7755102 Attended to yourself. 311 00:26:26,138.7755102 --> 00:26:28,328.7755102 If you are single ladies. 312 00:26:28,328.7755102 --> 00:26:30,878.7755102 The approach is relativity the same. 313 00:26:31,178.7755102 --> 00:26:34,658.7755102 You have to be comfortable with yourself first. 314 00:26:35,48.7755102 --> 00:26:43,868.7755102 Before you can go seeking a mate because then you'd have to have steps in how to incorporate. 315 00:26:44,438.7755102 --> 00:26:49,118.7755102 Conversations with your mate about the process you have been through. 316 00:26:49,748.7755102 --> 00:26:53,318.7755102 In order to lead to intimacy together. 317 00:26:53,488.7755102 --> 00:26:57,778.7755102 So whether you have a mate now, Or you do not. 318 00:26:58,348.7755102 --> 00:27:01,708.7755102 The process starts with you. 319 00:27:02,458.7755102 --> 00:27:11,188.7755102 Embracing intimacy after breast cancer is a gradual personal journey and there is no single right way to go about it. 320 00:27:11,968.7755102 --> 00:27:17,638.7755102 Be encouraged and please be patient and kind to yourself. 321 00:27:18,188.7755102 --> 00:27:20,258.7755102 Prioritize your wellbeing. 322 00:27:20,618.7755102 --> 00:27:23,258.7755102 And reach out for help if needed. 323 00:27:23,998.7755102 --> 00:27:31,498.7755102 And always remember celebrates every small step towards reconnecting with yourself. 324 00:27:31,498.7755102 --> 00:27:33,208.7755102 And your loved ones. 325 00:27:33,628.7755102 --> 00:27:37,228.7755102 I hope this episode has been helpful and reassuring. 326 00:27:37,558.7755102 --> 00:27:39,718.7755102 As you continue your journey. 327 00:27:42,458.7755102 --> 00:27:50,768.7755102 Well, sister, friend, I know you have choices, so I thank you for tuning into Intimacy After podcast. 328 00:27:51,188.7755102 --> 00:27:59,738.7755102 You may subscribe for bimonthly alerts or stay in the know by visiting my website@queenquanta.com. 329 00:27:59,978.7755102 --> 00:28:04,123.7755102 That's Queen Q-U-A-N-T a.com. 330 00:28:04,893.7755102 --> 00:28:13,298.7755102 Until next time, remember, a life without Intimacy is like your favorite meal without salt. 331 00:28:14,153.7755102 --> 00:28:16,773.7755102 Ladies, let's spice it up. 332 00:28:17,273.7755102 --> 00:28:20,563.7755102 Life is beautiful, and God is awesome. 333 00:28:21,133.7755102 --> 00:28:24,78.6135102 This is Queen, signing out.
Hello and welcome.
.999This is Intimacy After, a podcast for mature women facing intimacy issues from various causes.
Please know you are not alone.
It is time to stop suffering in silence.
On this podcast, we give hope that through practice of simple steps and proven tips, you can improve intimacy and resurrect your love life.
(00:33):
Break free, learn to laugh again, to play again, to be happy, to love and know that you are loved.
I am your host, Queen.
Come on inside. 9 00:00:49,196.12244898 --> 00:00:55,226.12244898 A warm welcome inside to yet another episode of intimacy after. 10 00:00:55,766.12244898 --> 00:00:58,256.12244898 I'm so glad you've joined me today. 11 00:00:58,856.12244898 --> 00:01:05,396.12244898 I had the absolute pleasure of speaking at a ladies conference, hosted by pastor Renee Datsun. 12 00:01:05,696.12244898 --> 00:01:07,676.12244898 The final chapter off. 13 00:01:08,126.12244898 --> 00:01:10,466.12244898 I love me better than that. 14 00:01:10,586.12244898 --> 00:01:11,276.12244898 Rich read. 15 00:01:11,666.12244898 --> 00:01:14,696.12244898 It was absolutely phenomenal. 16 00:01:14,726.12244898 --> 00:01:18,266.12244898 Pastor Renee is a wonderful kind warm-hearted jam. 17 00:01:18,566.12244898 --> 00:01:24,86.12244898 And all the speakers were simply awesome and blessed us all. 18 00:01:24,616.12244898 --> 00:01:26,146.12244898 To all the attendees. 19 00:01:26,506.12244898 --> 00:01:30,376.12244898 Thank you for making this event spectacular. 20 00:01:30,706.12244898 --> 00:01:35,146.12244898 Thanks again, pastor Renee and NGM for the invite. 21 00:01:35,896.12244898 --> 00:01:38,596.12244898 Coming down from the high of that ladies retreat. 22 00:01:38,986.12244898 --> 00:01:43,666.12244898 I had to make sure to get this information out in a timely matter. 23 00:01:44,206.12244898 --> 00:01:45,196.12244898 Twice per month. 24 00:01:45,256.12244898 --> 00:01:45,736.12244898 Yup. 25 00:01:46,36.12244898 --> 00:01:47,56.12244898 I could do that. 26 00:01:48,226.12244898 --> 00:02:02,596.12244898 I want to start by acknowledging each of you, my breast cancer survivors, Thrivers and overcomers, who were celebrated extensively during this month of October, but it doesn't stop there. 27 00:02:02,626.12244898 --> 00:02:03,916.12244898 It doesn't stop there. 28 00:02:03,946.12244898 --> 00:02:04,546.12244898 Does it. 29 00:02:04,846.12244898 --> 00:02:08,836.12244898 And the unique journeys you're on or have been on. 30 00:02:08,836.12244898 --> 00:02:16,186.12244898 Continues facing breast cancer can have a profound impact on your lives and relationship. 31 00:02:16,756.12244898 --> 00:02:25,546.12244898 As a radiation oncologist I've seen firsthand out cancer can alter every facet of life, including intimacy. 32 00:02:25,936.12244898 --> 00:02:28,606.12244898 Which is often overlooked though. 33 00:02:28,726.12244898 --> 00:02:30,616.12244898 Deeply significant. 34 00:02:31,306.12244898 --> 00:02:39,376.12244898 I'm committed to addressing these concerns, because I believe that healing is about more than just treating the disease. 35 00:02:39,676.12244898 --> 00:02:42,556.12244898 It's about embracing life fully. 36 00:02:43,186.12244898 --> 00:02:46,786.12244898 After all the active treatment is completed. 37 00:02:47,566.12244898 --> 00:02:56,926.12244898 In today's episode, we're going to dive into the emotional, physical, and relationship aspect of intimacy specifically after breast cancer. 38 00:02:57,376.12244898 --> 00:03:05,26.12244898 Breast cancer diagnosis is overwhelmingly common and many of you have reached out with specific questions. 39 00:03:05,476.12244898 --> 00:03:09,346.12244898 I'll try to answer as many within the context of this podcast. 40 00:03:09,586.12244898 --> 00:03:11,506.12244898 Without making it too lengthy. 41 00:03:11,716.12244898 --> 00:03:15,946.12244898 So I asked an advance for your grace. 42 00:03:15,976.12244898 --> 00:03:24,16.12244898 If I don't get to answer your specific questions, keep an eye in an air out for upcoming monthly. 43 00:03:24,706.12244898 --> 00:03:29,656.12244898 Q and a about health starting in 2025. 44 00:03:30,796.12244898 --> 00:03:33,286.12244898 But I just want you to know. 45 00:03:34,36.12244898 --> 00:03:35,86.12244898 I hear you. 46 00:03:35,506.12244898 --> 00:03:48,646.12244898 Let's explore how important it is to approach this healing process holistically, ensuring that every part of your journey receives the attention that it deserves. 47 00:03:49,96.12244898 --> 00:03:51,436.12244898 Let's start by addressing what you can see. 48 00:03:51,886.12244898 --> 00:03:58,586.12244898 Let's address the physical aspect, the physical changes you might be experiencing. 49 00:03:58,976.12244898 --> 00:04:03,776.12244898 First thing to know is that it is normal to be apprehensive. 50 00:04:04,136.12244898 --> 00:04:06,866.12244898 About the changes you see when you look in the mirror. 51 00:04:07,326.12244898 --> 00:04:09,606.12244898 Or the feel of your breast. 52 00:04:10,26.12244898 --> 00:04:18,766.12244898 Some of you have a larger breasts, so the changes may or may not be as noticeable versus someone who has a size, a B cup. 53 00:04:19,666.12244898 --> 00:04:22,306.12244898 Wait, let me not get ahead of myself though. 54 00:04:22,516.12244898 --> 00:04:27,736.12244898 Let's talk about the changes based on the type of surgery that you've had. 55 00:04:27,786.12244898 --> 00:04:28,986.12244898 Stepping back a bit. 56 00:04:29,466.12244898 --> 00:04:37,986.12244898 If you go to my website, there are links that are for self-education both free videos and affordable course. 57 00:04:38,476.12244898 --> 00:04:46,966.12244898 But have no fare, I'll cover some basics here for my listeners who are not breast cancer survivors, Thrivers or overcomers. 58 00:04:47,356.12244898 --> 00:04:50,476.12244898 If you have not been directly affected by breast cancer. 59 00:04:50,866.12244898 --> 00:04:51,646.12244898 Welcome. 60 00:04:51,916.12244898 --> 00:04:57,886.12244898 This will provide some insight into what your family or friend may be experiencing. 61 00:04:58,246.12244898 --> 00:05:00,226.12244898 Let's start with the type of surgeries. 62 00:05:00,556.12244898 --> 00:05:04,696.12244898 I will do some basics for those who have not gone through breast cancer diagnosis. 63 00:05:04,696.12244898 --> 00:05:12,976.12244898 And for those who never truly understood the differences right now, you know me by now, I like to keep things simple. 64 00:05:13,456.12244898 --> 00:05:26,266.12244898 Therefore, if you are in the medical field, this simplistic approach may be a little bit too simple for you, but I have to address the majority of my listeners. 65 00:05:26,326.12244898 --> 00:05:27,676.12244898 So hang in there with me. 66 00:05:27,796.12244898 --> 00:05:28,756.12244898 I'll get to that. 67 00:05:29,236.12244898 --> 00:05:33,556.12244898 So the surgeries are lumpectomy mastectomy. 68 00:05:33,916.12244898 --> 00:05:37,486.12244898 And after mastectomy, some folks may opt for. 69 00:05:38,266.12244898 --> 00:05:39,496.12244898 Reconstruction. 70 00:05:40,36.12244898 --> 00:05:48,226.12244898 There are different types of reconstructive surgeries, which are beyond the scope of this podcast, but we'll provide some guidance on. 71 00:05:48,526.12244898 --> 00:05:50,926.12244898 Questions that you may consider asking. 72 00:05:51,616.12244898 --> 00:05:54,316.12244898 Let's first look at lumpectomy. 73 00:05:55,636.12244898 --> 00:05:56,836.12244898 Simply speaking. 74 00:05:58,36.12244898 --> 00:06:03,646.12244898 Imagine you baked a small lemon pound cake and there is a Razan in it. 75 00:06:04,366.12244898 --> 00:06:07,246.12244898 Uh, Razan does not belong in a lemon pound cake. 76 00:06:07,966.12244898 --> 00:06:11,656.12244898 If the poundcake is your breast, and the reason is the cancer. 77 00:06:12,106.12244898 --> 00:06:19,36.12244898 Uh, lumpectomy is like removing that Razan only from the pound cake, your breast. 78 00:06:19,786.12244898 --> 00:06:22,546.12244898 The doctor takes out just the lump. 79 00:06:23,116.12244898 --> 00:06:26,26.12244898 Or the tumor slash raising in this case. 80 00:06:26,456.12244898 --> 00:06:32,696.12244898 And the little bit of the surrounding tissue leaving most of the breasts as it is. 81 00:06:33,146.12244898 --> 00:06:34,706.12244898 Otherwise intact. 82 00:06:34,756.12244898 --> 00:06:38,866.12244898 It's done to remove the cancer while keeping as much of the breast as possible. 83 00:06:39,586.12244898 --> 00:06:47,386.12244898 Essentially, you have a lemon pound cake with an area of defect where the raise and was removed. 84 00:06:47,656.12244898 --> 00:06:58,576.34920635 Now that area of defect like scooping out a scoop of ice cream that will be filled in with fluid but the body will eventually resolve that. 85 00:06:59,276.34920635 --> 00:07:05,426.34920635 You may feel a knot after the surgery for a while, but eventually that will go away. 86 00:07:05,786.34920635 --> 00:07:08,996.34920635 Or in some cases it will just stay there. 87 00:07:08,996.34920635 --> 00:07:12,326.34920635 And it'll just be a little firmer than usual. 88 00:07:13,26.34920635 --> 00:07:16,986.34920635 If you have up to two Abba mastectomy. 89 00:07:17,256.34920635 --> 00:07:21,726.34920635 Now the mastectomy is when the doctor removes the whole breast. 90 00:07:22,716.34920635 --> 00:07:34,386.34920635 That is the whole lemon pound cake is removed because the Razan is too large or too many raisins got into the lemon pound cake. 91 00:07:34,836.34920635 --> 00:07:48,786.34920635 Does that make sense? So multiple lumpectomies to remove all the little raisins, we'll leave a lot of cavity and change that the shape of the breast may not be cousin medically pleasing. 92 00:07:49,86.34920635 --> 00:07:49,776.34920635 So. 93 00:07:50,46.34920635 --> 00:07:52,296.34920635 A mastectomy is sometimes done. 94 00:07:52,296.34920635 --> 00:07:54,516.34920635 If the cancer is large. 95 00:07:54,936.34920635 --> 00:07:58,626.34920635 Or if there are multiple spots with cancer in the breast. 96 00:07:59,316.34920635 --> 00:08:05,466.34920635 It's a bigger surgery than a lumpectomy, but it helps make sure all the cancer cells are taken out. 97 00:08:06,326.34920635 --> 00:08:11,396.34920635 Conversely, if it is a large Razan and you have a small breast. 98 00:08:11,816.34920635 --> 00:08:14,36.34920635 Attempting to do a lumpectomy. 99 00:08:14,696.34920635 --> 00:08:15,746.34920635 We'll essentially. 100 00:08:15,746.34920635 --> 00:08:20,556.34920635 Take away all the breast tissue so it's like a small lemon cake. 101 00:08:20,856.34920635 --> 00:08:23,766.34920635 That has a big. 102 00:08:23,766.34920635 --> 00:08:25,716.34920635 Like dates or prune. 103 00:08:26,226.34920635 --> 00:08:27,36.34920635 So. 104 00:08:27,36.34920635 --> 00:08:28,266.34920635 Trying to. 105 00:08:29,46.34920635 --> 00:08:35,196.34920635 Preserve the breast would not be recommended in those cases. 106 00:08:36,246.34920635 --> 00:08:42,366.34920635 Talk to your doctor and make sure you understand which procedure is a better for you. 107 00:08:42,366.34920635 --> 00:08:44,886.34920635 If you have not started on this journey. 108 00:08:46,86.34920635 --> 00:08:51,756.34920635 Reconstructive surgery after mastectomy though is a whole nother conversation. 109 00:08:52,176.34920635 --> 00:08:56,976.34920635 After a mastectomy, some people choose to have reconstructive surgery wishes. 110 00:08:56,976.34920635 --> 00:09:02,946.34920635 When the doctor rebuilds the shape of the breast, create a whole new pound cake. 111 00:09:02,976.34920635 --> 00:09:03,756.34920635 If you will. 112 00:09:04,206.34920635 --> 00:09:09,846.34920635 This can be done with tissue from other parts of the body or with implants. 113 00:09:10,896.34920635 --> 00:09:15,606.34920635 It helps make the chest look more like it did before in clothing. 114 00:09:15,946.34920635 --> 00:09:18,76.34920635 Some may opt for larger breasts. 115 00:09:18,796.34920635 --> 00:09:21,256.34920635 Smaller breasts, June reconstruction. 116 00:09:21,466.34920635 --> 00:09:25,846.34920635 And some of you may opt to not do any reconstruction at all. 117 00:09:26,236.34920635 --> 00:09:29,536.34920635 Instead, preferring to use prosthesis. 118 00:09:30,76.34920635 --> 00:09:37,366.34920635 Falls material in the bra or just nothing at all, choosing to remain flat chested. 119 00:09:37,466.34920635 --> 00:09:37,916.34920635 Look. 120 00:09:38,396.34920635 --> 00:09:46,526.34920635 All of that are decisions that you make after informed conversation with your physician. 121 00:09:46,676.34920635 --> 00:09:49,766.34920635 And that is why I always always recommend. 122 00:09:50,306.34920635 --> 00:09:53,726.34920635 Having conversations with your doctors, don't be intimidated. 123 00:09:54,26.34920635 --> 00:09:59,126.34920635 Write down the stuff that you need to ask and make sure you know what to expect. 124 00:09:59,336.34920635 --> 00:10:05,786.34920635 And that's what the journal and guide is for specifically the breast cancer journal and Clyde was just also on my website. 125 00:10:06,26.34920635 --> 00:10:09,716.34920635 It kind of holds your hands and walk you through the questions to ask. 126 00:10:09,956.34920635 --> 00:10:18,806.34920635 And then there's also space to write down the answer and don't be afraid to ask your doctor to simplify it so you can understand right. 127 00:10:19,586.34920635 --> 00:10:19,946.34920635 Look. 128 00:10:20,486.34920635 --> 00:10:24,86.34920635 I cannot begin to tell you how many patients I've asked. 129 00:10:24,566.34920635 --> 00:10:27,506.34920635 What they should do as it pertained to surgeries. 130 00:10:28,166.34920635 --> 00:10:42,56.34920635 But disclaimer, here, I'm famous for my disclaimers, right? I am not on your medical team as a decision to have lumpectomy versus mastectomy and or reconstructive surgery should not be taken lightly. 131 00:10:42,416.34920635 --> 00:10:53,76.34920635 Of course, sometimes the decision is made for you to Merce too large or too many small ones, but if just embarking on this journey, always ask. 132 00:10:53,346.34920635 --> 00:10:58,146.34920635 How will, I know if I need radiation therapy after surgery. 133 00:10:58,806.34920635 --> 00:10:59,676.34920635 Hint, hint. 134 00:11:00,876.34920635 --> 00:11:03,426.34920635 You should speak to a radiation oncologist. 135 00:11:03,816.34920635 --> 00:11:04,146.34920635 Right. 136 00:11:04,926.34920635 --> 00:11:14,466.34920635 If I opt for a lumpectomy, what will my breasts look like? What about the nipples? Will I lose that? Hint, hint. 137 00:11:15,366.34920635 --> 00:11:17,676.34920635 I've had folks who were surprised. 138 00:11:17,976.34920635 --> 00:11:18,366.34920635 That. 139 00:11:18,366.34920635 --> 00:11:21,246.34920635 Hey, I didn't know it was going to lose my nipples. 140 00:11:21,816.34920635 --> 00:11:23,166.34920635 Worth a conversation. 141 00:11:23,166.34920635 --> 00:11:24,996.34920635 If the tumor is close to the nipple. 142 00:11:26,16.34920635 --> 00:11:27,66.34920635 Next question. 143 00:11:27,756.34920635 --> 00:11:29,346.34920635 If I have mastectomy. 144 00:11:29,676.34920635 --> 00:11:42,36.34920635 How long after surgery, do I have to decide whether or not I want to have reconstruction? Just in case you want to change your mind one way or the other. 145 00:11:42,906.34920635 --> 00:11:53,16.34920635 There are a lot more questions in the journal and guide on my website that will help you walk through the process of questions to ask before, during and after treatment. 146 00:11:53,226.34920635 --> 00:11:56,526.34920635 And you can pick that book up on Amazon at any time. 147 00:11:57,66.34920635 --> 00:12:04,656.34920635 Remember these surgical options depends on how much cancer there is and your personal choice. 148 00:12:05,106.34920635 --> 00:12:09,516.34920635 This will help each person get the care that's best suited for them. 149 00:12:09,936.34920635 --> 00:12:11,886.34920635 The best decision for you. 150 00:12:12,726.34920635 --> 00:12:15,906.34920635 Let's address the physical impact of these surgeries. 151 00:12:16,896.34920635 --> 00:12:18,156.34920635 So currently. 152 00:12:19,416.34920635 --> 00:12:21,96.34920635 When you look in the mirror. 153 00:12:21,576.34920635 --> 00:12:23,556.34920635 What do you see? Wait. 154 00:12:24,606.34920635 --> 00:12:32,896.34920635 Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror naked? Some of you may initially disregard the area where you had surgery. 155 00:12:33,556.34920635 --> 00:12:37,756.34920635 And try to make it as though it's not a part of you anymore. 156 00:12:38,496.34920635 --> 00:12:40,656.34920635 Treat it like a separate thing. 157 00:12:41,386.34920635 --> 00:12:42,496.34920635 It's difficult. 158 00:12:42,826.34920635 --> 00:12:43,456.34920635 Yes. 159 00:12:43,996.34920635 --> 00:12:45,766.34920635 But you should look. 160 00:12:46,276.34920635 --> 00:12:48,676.34920635 Go and look now as you listen. 161 00:12:48,946.34920635 --> 00:12:50,326.34920635 If able to do so. 162 00:12:51,76.34920635 --> 00:12:52,186.34920635 Take a look. 163 00:12:52,786.34920635 --> 00:12:53,686.34920635 At your body. 164 00:12:55,66.34920635 --> 00:13:04,606.34920635 What do you think about what you see? How does your breast feel? Is there feeling in the breast area from the surgery. 165 00:13:05,266.34920635 --> 00:13:07,516.34920635 Is it from hard. 166 00:13:08,416.34920635 --> 00:13:11,776.34920635 If you have not touched your breasts since lumpectomy. 167 00:13:12,166.34920635 --> 00:13:13,816.34920635 It's okay to do so. 168 00:13:14,686.34920635 --> 00:13:25,306.34920635 Are you comfortable with the outcome and what you see? This is the first hurdle, right? And the back of most folks mine is that men are. 169 00:13:25,936.34920635 --> 00:13:27,346.34920635 Visual creatures. 170 00:13:27,946.34920635 --> 00:13:31,276.34920635 And you are looking at yourself and thinking. 171 00:13:31,936.34920635 --> 00:13:34,576.34920635 This does not look visually appealing. 172 00:13:34,966.34920635 --> 00:13:37,846.34920635 I cannot let him see me like this. 173 00:13:39,166.34920635 --> 00:13:40,456.34920635 But sister friend. 174 00:13:40,606.34920635 --> 00:13:42,526.34920635 Yes, you can. 175 00:13:42,886.34920635 --> 00:13:49,306.34920635 Despite that whole thing about being visually appealing, what's even deeper than that. 176 00:13:49,576.34920635 --> 00:13:56,656.34920635 It's the love that your mate has for you, but we'll get through how to walk through this first vote. 177 00:13:57,16.34920635 --> 00:14:03,316.34920635 You have to get over the hurdle yourself, become comfortable with the new you. 178 00:14:03,796.34920635 --> 00:14:07,816.34920635 If you had a mastectomy and opted for no reconstruction. 179 00:14:08,206.34920635 --> 00:14:12,616.34920635 The chest scar can be challenging to accept initially. 180 00:14:13,246.34920635 --> 00:14:16,6.34920635 My patient in the past who had sizable breast. 181 00:14:16,6.34920635 --> 00:14:22,276.34920635 I considered this a very high hurdle for those who will work up a or B. 182 00:14:22,576.34920635 --> 00:14:24,376.34920635 Flat chest or no breast. 183 00:14:24,856.34920635 --> 00:14:30,496.34920635 It's not a far cry from what they had, but it is still very different. 184 00:14:31,216.34920635 --> 00:14:38,476.34920635 My patient typically appreciated the acknowledgement that yes, the area is from yes. 185 00:14:38,716.34920635 --> 00:14:40,546.34920635 The area is different. 186 00:14:40,756.34920635 --> 00:14:41,416.34920635 Yes. 187 00:14:41,716.34920635 --> 00:14:54,826.34920635 This is normal for patients who had this type of surgery or no, this is not the normal, your surgery was a little bit more extensive or whatever the case may be. 188 00:14:56,206.34920635 --> 00:15:06,706.34920635 As a physician, I had to remember that ladies post any surgeries do not go around showing themselves and their scars to other ladies. 189 00:15:07,126.34920635 --> 00:15:12,836.34920635 Even with increased social media, posting some report feeling offended. 190 00:15:13,166.34920635 --> 00:15:16,556.34920635 Others wish they could see more variety. 191 00:15:16,826.34920635 --> 00:15:20,306.34920635 Or a mixture of both are reported. 192 00:15:20,306.34920635 --> 00:15:27,656.34920635 Most physician fail to realize that they are the eyes of normalcy for most patients. 193 00:15:28,376.34920635 --> 00:15:29,36.34920635 Yet. 194 00:15:29,576.34920635 --> 00:15:30,206.34920635 Yet. 195 00:15:30,806.34920635 --> 00:15:33,476.34920635 Everyone remains unique in their outcome. 196 00:15:33,506.34920635 --> 00:15:38,846.34920635 Right? Some surgical outcome are quite artistic and scars are minimal. 197 00:15:39,206.34920635 --> 00:15:44,426.34920635 While others? Well, Not done with such finesse. 198 00:15:45,806.34920635 --> 00:15:47,666.34920635 Some surgeons will tell you. 199 00:15:47,936.34920635 --> 00:15:52,736.34920635 The extra tissue was left for possibilities of reconstruction. 200 00:15:53,156.34920635 --> 00:16:00,506.34920635 Or the patient was more heavyset and too much tissue or something in between. 201 00:16:01,406.34920635 --> 00:16:05,306.34920635 Most of you were more concerned about getting rid of the cancer. 202 00:16:05,666.34920635 --> 00:16:09,416.34920635 And nothing cosmetic cross your mind at that time. 203 00:16:09,746.34920635 --> 00:16:19,736.34920635 However, if you're at the beginning of your process, The surgery, it is worthwhile asking about expected cosmetic outcome. 204 00:16:20,456.34920635 --> 00:16:25,676.34920635 You should not be surprised to find that the nipple was staken, if that was not discussed. 205 00:16:25,706.34920635 --> 00:16:34,556.34920635 And if a tumor is close to the nipple and the nipple is taken, ask about to, to wing the nipple back on later. 206 00:16:35,376.34920635 --> 00:16:39,696.34920635 I have seen quite a few awesome to tude on nipples. 207 00:16:40,646.3492063 --> 00:16:43,736.3492063 Also remember whatever scar that is there. 208 00:16:43,856.3492063 --> 00:16:51,356.3492063 If you have radiation that will make the scar more pronounced and. 209 00:16:52,226.3492063 --> 00:16:54,146.3492063 F your post lumpectomy. 210 00:16:54,266.3492063 --> 00:16:56,666.3492063 It can cause the breast to shrink. 211 00:16:57,86.3492063 --> 00:16:58,466.3492063 After radiation. 212 00:16:58,916.3492063 --> 00:17:05,456.3492063 Yes, these are the questions are in the book and the conversation that you should have with your doctors. 213 00:17:05,456.3492063 --> 00:17:11,906.3492063 They're specific questions for the surgeons, specific questions for the medical oncologist. 214 00:17:11,906.3492063 --> 00:17:18,86.3492063 That's the doctor who gives chemotherapy and specific questions for radiation oncologist. 215 00:17:19,346.3492063 --> 00:17:25,196.3492063 One step at a time, but you need to ask these questions and write them down so you can look at them later. 216 00:17:26,206.3492063 --> 00:17:35,356.3492063 If you had reconstruction while there is a breast structure there, you may find that physically the function is quite different. 217 00:17:35,776.3492063 --> 00:17:38,806.3492063 Such as you cannot feel anything. 218 00:17:39,406.3492063 --> 00:17:47,466.3492063 It may not look balanced in the Miro, and sometimes you may even forget that it is there. 219 00:17:48,156.3492063 --> 00:17:55,626.3492063 What you see and feel after breast cancer treatment can affect desire and even your physical comfort. 220 00:17:56,706.3492063 --> 00:17:57,726.3492063 It's a journey. 221 00:17:58,446.3492063 --> 00:18:03,396.3492063 So thinking of your mates in the mix can bring on quite a bit of apprehension. 222 00:18:03,666.3492063 --> 00:18:07,656.3492063 So you have to start with you first. 223 00:18:07,926.3492063 --> 00:18:09,336.3492063 It is not selfish. 224 00:18:09,816.3492063 --> 00:18:15,156.3492063 Processing your journey and the physical changes will take time. 225 00:18:15,606.3492063 --> 00:18:22,656.3492063 You must find a way to express that without totally alienating or shutting out your hubby. 226 00:18:23,166.3492063 --> 00:18:27,516.3492063 Your concerns about scars, body changes. 227 00:18:28,86.3492063 --> 00:18:35,46.3492063 Radiation treatment effect, chemotherapy treatment effect and adjustments that are necessary. 228 00:18:35,646.3492063 --> 00:18:38,136.3492063 They are perfectly okay. 229 00:18:39,6.3492063 --> 00:18:51,36.3492063 One helpful approach is to focus on gentle exercises or physical therapies that can help rebuild strength and boost confidence above all. 230 00:18:51,336.3492063 --> 00:18:55,26.3492063 It is crucial to discover what feels pleasurable. 231 00:18:55,446.3492063 --> 00:18:59,736.3492063 And comforting to you, sister, friend. 232 00:19:00,696.3492063 --> 00:19:18,456.3492063 You must acknowledge your physical changes in order to reclaim intimacy, start with navigating physical sensitivities, right? Like altered sensations, scars, or pain, which can influence how you may feel about physical intimacy. 233 00:19:18,936.3492063 --> 00:19:22,956.3492063 Discuss strategies to approach physical touch. 234 00:19:23,436.3492063 --> 00:19:39,56.3492063 Gradually starting with gentle nonsexual touch to reestablish comfort and confidence, then try creating new definition of intimacy for your self and your hobby. 235 00:19:39,476.3492063 --> 00:19:46,436.3492063 Explore the idea that intimacy doesn't have to be limited to traditional sexual expressions. 236 00:19:46,716.3492063 --> 00:19:55,566.3492063 Talk about sensory intimacy working around any current limitations example, you may consider a massages. 237 00:19:55,956.3492064 --> 00:19:58,716.3492064 Bath together, gentle touch. 238 00:19:59,76.3492063 --> 00:20:07,596.3492063 These are very powerful ways to feel connected and reawaken physical closeness without pressure. 239 00:20:08,166.3492063 --> 00:20:09,666.3492063 Or expectation. 240 00:20:10,56.3492063 --> 00:20:17,466.3492064 When there's no expectation, then self-discovery and open communication are at its best. 241 00:20:17,886.3492063 --> 00:20:24,216.3492064 It's important to discover your own comfort zone, right? Which may have shifted after breast cancer treatment. 242 00:20:24,486.3492064 --> 00:20:30,126.3492063 It is important to explore and communicate these boundaries with your partner. 243 00:20:30,456.3492064 --> 00:20:39,606.3492063 Despite the challenges, honest discussion about likes dislikes and current needs can be empowering. 244 00:20:40,746.3492064 --> 00:20:45,246.3492064 This will segue into the emotional journey to embracing intimacy. 245 00:20:45,486.3492064 --> 00:20:53,856.3492063 After breast cancer, we have discussed a lot already and the emotional is intertwined with the physical. 246 00:20:54,406.3492063 --> 00:21:02,566.3492063 It's normal to experience changes in body image and self-esteem, you may feel vulnerable or even fearful of rejection. 247 00:21:02,836.3492063 --> 00:21:09,526.3492064 It's important to give yourself grace and patience as you navigate these emotions. 248 00:21:09,886.3492063 --> 00:21:13,786.3492063 Self-compassion can be a powerful ally. 249 00:21:14,266.3492064 --> 00:21:20,626.3492063 As can joining support groups or seeking guidance from counselors who understand. 250 00:21:20,986.3492064 --> 00:21:22,156.3492063 Your journey. 251 00:21:23,26.3492064 --> 00:21:26,926.3492063 It's important to find counselors who can. 252 00:21:26,926.3492063 --> 00:21:32,326.3492063 Understand what your journey looks like as a cancer survivor thriver. 253 00:21:32,416.3492063 --> 00:21:33,766.3492064 Our overcomer. 254 00:21:34,486.3492064 --> 00:21:36,226.3492063 The issues you're facing. 255 00:21:36,466.3492063 --> 00:21:40,816.3492063 Having completed cancer treatment would be different from others. 256 00:21:41,26.3492064 --> 00:21:45,286.3492063 And that need to be acknowledged during your counseling session. 257 00:21:46,376.3492064 --> 00:21:57,86.3492064 But, it is important to acknowledge your loss and the many changes breast cancer can definitely alter yourself image and relationship with your body. 258 00:21:58,126.3492064 --> 00:22:10,636.3492064 Many of you survivors, Thrivers and overcomers feel a sense of loss or struggle with confidence, especially for those of you who had the breast cancer journey. 259 00:22:11,116.3492064 --> 00:22:12,16.3492064 Twice. 260 00:22:12,346.3492064 --> 00:22:16,726.3492064 Or you're currently dealing with metastatic breast cancer. 261 00:22:17,866.3492064 --> 00:22:19,546.3492064 I hear you. 262 00:22:20,386.3492064 --> 00:22:30,106.3492064 The emotional roller coaster of being tearful, angry, being okay with it back to being scared and a range of emotions can be weary. 263 00:22:30,496.3492064 --> 00:22:37,826.3492064 It is important to recognize these feelings and write about it to yourself to encourage the healing process. 264 00:22:38,876.3492064 --> 00:22:40,46.3492064 Pre COVID. 265 00:22:40,376.3492064 --> 00:22:49,436.3492064 I had conversations with survivors, Thrivers and overcomers who were in the public eye for one reason or another career related. 266 00:22:50,36.3492064 --> 00:22:58,826.3492064 The treatment changed their parents and clothing or certain scars from radiation could be seen, or the wigs were not as complimentary. 267 00:22:59,546.3492064 --> 00:23:01,256.3492064 That is when reframing. 268 00:23:01,586.3492064 --> 00:23:03,226.3492064 And transparency R. 269 00:23:03,467.5283447 --> 00:23:04,508.7755102 your best weapon. 270 00:23:05,58.7755102 --> 00:23:14,508.7755102 Not to encourage pity, but to make others aware that there were warriors and what they are seeing is a fighting spirit holding on. 271 00:23:15,108.7755102 --> 00:23:17,58.7755102 Working from home post COVID. 272 00:23:17,388.7755102 --> 00:23:19,398.7755102 It's not as bad anymore. 273 00:23:19,608.7755102 --> 00:23:30,678.7755102 And with the internet awareness has made a big change for many, however, Accepting one's body post-treatment remains a personal journey. 274 00:23:31,378.7755102 --> 00:23:38,248.7755102 It is crucial to embrace self compassion on the path to self acceptance and emotional healing. 275 00:23:38,578.7755102 --> 00:23:45,628.7755102 Have mentioned journaling before that's because it's a way to be a true and great friend. 276 00:23:46,138.7755102 --> 00:23:47,398.7755102 To yourself. 277 00:23:48,178.7755102 --> 00:23:56,458.7755102 You're able to revisit and see your thoughts and how you had different situations at different times and how you handled stuff. 278 00:23:56,998.7755102 --> 00:23:59,248.7755102 It's never too late to start journaling. 279 00:23:59,968.7755102 --> 00:24:07,528.7755102 Also practicing mindfulness and consider exploring therapy for assistance in areas where you struggle. 280 00:24:08,488.7755102 --> 00:24:10,18.7755102 Is highly recommended. 281 00:24:10,678.7755102 --> 00:24:12,448.7755102 You are not alone. 282 00:24:12,748.7755102 --> 00:24:16,948.7755102 It is never too late or a bad idea to seek therapy. 283 00:24:17,758.7755102 --> 00:24:25,48.7755102 Try a couple of sessions, at least before you say no to therapy or speaking to others. 284 00:24:25,568.7755102 --> 00:24:37,208.7755102 Once you have addressed self and at a good place, then work on reestablishing, emotional connection with your partner, right? It's a step wise process. 285 00:24:37,418.7755102 --> 00:24:40,868.7755102 You cannot just jump to the end and expect. 286 00:24:41,228.7755102 --> 00:24:45,368.7755102 Acceptance and reciprocity and everything being okay. 287 00:24:45,548.7755102 --> 00:24:48,68.7755102 When you haven't dealt with yourself first. 288 00:24:48,428.7755102 --> 00:24:49,148.7755102 So. 289 00:24:50,108.7755102 --> 00:24:53,648.7755102 It takes understanding, and it does take time. 290 00:24:54,188.7755102 --> 00:25:01,898.7755102 Again, Talk about how to rekindle that emotional intimacy by openly discussing fears and desires. 291 00:25:01,898.7755102 --> 00:25:05,78.7755102 Uh, allowing vulnerability to rebuild trust. 292 00:25:05,498.7755102 --> 00:25:06,998.7755102 And your closeness. 293 00:25:07,868.7755102 --> 00:25:13,178.7755102 Openness can be a healing process for both you and your partner. 294 00:25:13,878.7755102 --> 00:25:17,628.7755102 It might feel daunting to discuss needs and boundaries. 295 00:25:18,18.7755102 --> 00:25:22,668.7755102 But it's important for building understanding and support. 296 00:25:23,148.7755102 --> 00:25:25,458.7755102 Share your feelings. 297 00:25:26,58.7755102 --> 00:25:27,528.7755102 Listen to each other. 298 00:25:28,158.7755102 --> 00:25:32,838.7755102 This can foster empathy and can deepen your connection. 299 00:25:33,648.7755102 --> 00:25:46,8.7755102 It's also an opportunity to be creative and discover new forms of closeness beyond the physical emotional intimacy can be immensely fulfilling. 300 00:25:46,308.7755102 --> 00:25:49,578.7755102 And can bring you closer to your partner. 301 00:25:49,848.7755102 --> 00:25:51,408.7755102 In meaningful ways. 302 00:25:52,108.7755102 --> 00:25:53,938.7755102 In my previous podcast. 303 00:25:54,268.7755102 --> 00:26:00,628.7755102 We discuss all the ways that you can be intimate without physical intercourse. 304 00:26:00,878.7755102 --> 00:26:04,238.7755102 I think that can apply here as well. 305 00:26:04,538.7755102 --> 00:26:10,328.7755102 It's just a big, broad scope umbrella of all the different things that you can explore. 306 00:26:11,318.7755102 --> 00:26:12,398.7755102 Don't give up. 307 00:26:12,788.7755102 --> 00:26:15,488.7755102 No that you are not alone, right. 308 00:26:15,818.7755102 --> 00:26:21,998.7755102 And if you are with someone, you have to encourage them to be with you on the journey. 309 00:26:21,998.7755102 --> 00:26:23,18.7755102 Once you have. 310 00:26:23,588.7755102 --> 00:26:25,118.7755102 Attended to yourself. 311 00:26:26,138.7755102 --> 00:26:28,328.7755102 If you are single ladies. 312 00:26:28,328.7755102 --> 00:26:30,878.7755102 The approach is relativity the same. 313 00:26:31,178.7755102 --> 00:26:34,658.7755102 You have to be comfortable with yourself first. 314 00:26:35,48.7755102 --> 00:26:43,868.7755102 Before you can go seeking a mate because then you'd have to have steps in how to incorporate. 315 00:26:44,438.7755102 --> 00:26:49,118.7755102 Conversations with your mate about the process you have been through. 316 00:26:49,748.7755102 --> 00:26:53,318.7755102 In order to lead to intimacy together. 317 00:26:53,488.7755102 --> 00:26:57,778.7755102 So whether you have a mate now, Or you do not. 318 00:26:58,348.7755102 --> 00:27:01,708.7755102 The process starts with you. 319 00:27:02,458.7755102 --> 00:27:11,188.7755102 Embracing intimacy after breast cancer is a gradual personal journey and there is no single right way to go about it. 320 00:27:11,968.7755102 --> 00:27:17,638.7755102 Be encouraged and please be patient and kind to yourself. 321 00:27:18,188.7755102 --> 00:27:20,258.7755102 Prioritize your wellbeing. 322 00:27:20,618.7755102 --> 00:27:23,258.7755102 And reach out for help if needed. 323 00:27:23,998.7755102 --> 00:27:31,498.7755102 And always remember celebrates every small step towards reconnecting with yourself. 324 00:27:31,498.7755102 --> 00:27:33,208.7755102 And your loved ones. 325 00:27:33,628.7755102 --> 00:27:37,228.7755102 I hope this episode has been helpful and reassuring. 326 00:27:37,558.7755102 --> 00:27:39,718.7755102 As you continue your journey. 327 00:27:42,458.7755102 --> 00:27:50,768.7755102 Well, sister, friend, I know you have choices, so I thank you for tuning into Intimacy After podcast. 328 00:27:51,188.7755102 --> 00:27:59,738.7755102 You may subscribe for bimonthly alerts or stay in the know by visiting my website@queenquanta.com. 329 00:27:59,978.7755102 --> 00:28:04,123.7755102 That's Queen Q-U-A-N-T a.com. 330 00:28:04,893.7755102 --> 00:28:13,298.7755102 Until next time, remember, a life without Intimacy is like your favorite meal without salt. 331 00:28:14,153.7755102 --> 00:28:16,773.7755102 Ladies, let's spice it up. 332 00:28:17,273.7755102 --> 00:28:20,563.7755102 Life is beautiful, and God is awesome. 333 00:28:21,133.7755102 --> 00:28:24,78.6135102 This is Queen, signing out.
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