November 13, 2024 • 29 mins
In this episode of 'Intimacy After' hosted by Queen, the discussion centers on addressing intimacy issues faced by mature women, especially those with conservative religious backgrounds. The podcast delves into the intersection of faith and intimacy, emphasizing the significance of reconnecting with one's partner through spiritual belief and prayer. Queen encourages open communication, vulnerability, and self-acceptance while exploring how to enhance one's intimate life in a way that honors God. Tune in to discover practical steps, inspiring messages, and faith-driven insights aimed at improving your love life.
00:00 Welcome to Intimacy After 00:51 Today's Controversial Topic: Intimacy and Faith 03:10 Understanding God's Design for Intimacy 07:08 Embracing Your Body and Overcoming Insecurities 12:57 Healing Through Intimacy and Faith 15:07 Practical Steps to Reconnect with Your Partner 16:27 The Role of Faith in Intimacy 24:54 Addressing Distractions and Maintaining Focus 27:28 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:05):
Hello and welcome.
.999This is Intimacy After, a podcast for mature women facing intimacy issues from various causes.
Please know you are not alone.
It is time to stop suffering in silence.
On this podcast, we give hope that through practice of simple steps and proven tips, you can improve intimacy and resurrect your love life.
(00:33):
Break free, learn to laugh again, to play again, to be happy, to love and know that you are loved.
I am your host, Queen.
Come on inside. 9 00:00:49,176.12244898 --> 00:00:51,576.12244898 Welcome inside sister friends. 10 00:00:51,936.12244898 --> 00:01:03,66.12244898 Today's topic is sort of a controversial area for many, an area of silence and closed doors in your face. 11 00:01:03,396.12244898 --> 00:01:05,526.12244898 Where many dare not tread. 12 00:01:05,526.12244898 --> 00:01:07,236.12244898 Well, we are going there. 13 00:01:07,656.12244898 --> 00:01:12,276.12244898 We're going to dive into a topic that is as deeply personal. 14 00:01:12,576.12244898 --> 00:01:14,646.12244898 As it is universal. 15 00:01:15,36.12244898 --> 00:01:18,546.12244898 Rediscovering intimacy through faith. 16 00:01:18,996.12244898 --> 00:01:20,76.12244898 Like what. 17 00:01:20,586.12244898 --> 00:01:22,176.12244898 Intimacy and faith. 18 00:01:22,446.12244898 --> 00:01:27,156.12244898 How does that work? I'm so glad you're here to find out. 19 00:01:27,636.12244898 --> 00:01:41,16.12244898 Are you ready to explore how your faith can open doors to a more fulfilling, vibrant, and connected intimate life? No matter your age or stage. 20 00:01:41,826.12244898 --> 00:01:47,686.12244898 Sister friend, we all get to that age or stage when navigating the changes. 21 00:01:47,686.12244898 --> 00:01:56,296.12244898 Life brings the responsibility as we shoulder, and sometimes the weight of doubts about ourselves and our relationships. 22 00:01:56,626.12244898 --> 00:01:58,636.12244898 Can leave us feeling alone. 23 00:01:59,806.12244898 --> 00:02:09,346.12244898 And on loved and, and if like me, you were raised in and with steep, strong religious values. 24 00:02:09,826.12244898 --> 00:02:17,266.12244898 Then you might have grown up with specific teachings about sex and intimacy that can sometimes feel. 25 00:02:17,776.12244898 --> 00:02:18,916.12244898 Complex. 26 00:02:19,406.12244898 --> 00:02:24,416.12244898 Where you wonder if everything you do in the bedroom sexually. 27 00:02:25,516.12244898 --> 00:02:27,256.12244898 If it's not missionary. 28 00:02:27,796.12244898 --> 00:02:29,26.12244898 Even though married. 29 00:02:30,76.12244898 --> 00:02:38,26.12244898 Is it sinful? Maybe you've all heard that your bodies were sacred, which they absolutely are. 30 00:02:38,456.12244898 --> 00:02:48,356.12244898 But perhaps you didn't hear enough about the joyful, loving, and beautiful sides of physical connections. 31 00:02:49,956.12244898 --> 00:02:57,666.12244898 To all my spiritual leaders, elders, pastors, ministers, bishops, priests, deacons, et cetera. 32 00:02:58,596.12244898 --> 00:03:01,986.12244898 What is God's loving, designed for intimacy. 33 00:03:02,556.12244898 --> 00:03:03,66.12244898 Hmm. 34 00:03:03,846.12244898 --> 00:03:05,856.12244898 I will tread lightly to start. 35 00:03:06,186.12244898 --> 00:03:09,426.12244898 But I want to start by saying this. 36 00:03:10,296.12244898 --> 00:03:12,276.12244898 Intimacy is a gift. 37 00:03:12,966.12244898 --> 00:03:23,226.12244898 When God created us, he designed our bodies, our hearts, and our spirits to connect with each other in profound and meaningful ways. 38 00:03:23,376.12244898 --> 00:03:25,86.12244898 In Genesis 2 24. 39 00:03:25,356.12244898 --> 00:03:26,16.12244898 We read. 40 00:03:26,496.12244898 --> 00:03:30,36.12244898 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother. 41 00:03:30,336.12244898 --> 00:03:36,66.12244898 And hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh. 42 00:03:36,666.12244898 --> 00:03:40,836.12244898 How do you become one flesh? No imagination needed here. 43 00:03:41,316.12244898 --> 00:03:44,886.12244898 However, this is more than just a physical bond though. 44 00:03:45,246.12244898 --> 00:03:47,736.12244898 It's a uniting of two souls. 45 00:03:48,96.12244898 --> 00:03:52,446.12244898 Our reflection of God's own relationship with us. 46 00:03:52,956.12244898 --> 00:03:53,766.12244898 Personal. 47 00:03:54,306.12244898 --> 00:03:55,26.12244898 Loving. 48 00:03:55,566.12244898 --> 00:03:57,36.12244898 And intentional. 49 00:03:57,936.12244898 --> 00:04:04,356.12244898 For many of us, especially those who may have grown up in the more conservative environments. 50 00:04:05,256.12244898 --> 00:04:11,976.12244898 Intimacy might've been spoken off only in hushed tones or even discouraged. 51 00:04:12,396.12244898 --> 00:04:20,706.12244898 Yet here we are with life experiences behind us, with wisdom gained and maybe with scars, from life's challenges. 52 00:04:20,736.12244898 --> 00:04:24,636.12244898 And now you get to ask yourselves. 53 00:04:25,646.12244898 --> 00:04:33,876.12244898 How can my faith bring me closer to my partner? How can I experience intimacy in a way that honors God. 54 00:04:34,326.12244898 --> 00:04:39,396.12244898 And brings joy into my personal relationship with my hubby. 55 00:04:40,476.12244898 --> 00:04:43,626.12244898 Your faith is not a barrier. 56 00:04:44,346.12244898 --> 00:04:45,726.12244898 It's a bridge. 57 00:04:46,86.12244898 --> 00:04:53,916.12244898 It's not a set of rules to limit you, but a path that leads you to live fuller, richer lives. 58 00:04:54,346.12244898 --> 00:05:03,496.12244898 Let's remember that God is describing the Bible as a loving father who wants to give good things to his children. 59 00:05:03,886.12244898 --> 00:05:07,336.12244898 God wants to give good things to you. 60 00:05:07,936.12244898 --> 00:05:09,706.12244898 He knows your needs. 61 00:05:10,66.12244898 --> 00:05:16,816.12244898 He knows your hopes and your fears, even in your most private moments. 62 00:05:16,936.12244898 --> 00:05:17,416.12244898 So. 63 00:05:18,406.12244898 --> 00:05:23,806.12244898 Why is it that you think God doesn't know about sex and intimacy? I know, I know. 64 00:05:23,986.12244898 --> 00:05:26,986.12244898 I just said God and sex in the same sentence. 65 00:05:28,6.12244898 --> 00:05:28,906.12244898 It's okay. 66 00:05:29,446.12244898 --> 00:05:33,706.12244898 He created our bodies and all our parts were named. 67 00:05:34,516.12244898 --> 00:05:36,256.12244898 Through and by him. 68 00:05:36,676.12244898 --> 00:05:42,796.12244898 So I am certain, he knows what a vagina is and what a penis is an owl. 69 00:05:42,796.12244898 --> 00:05:44,206.12244898 They are supposed to work. 70 00:05:45,346.12244898 --> 00:05:46,66.12244898 Sila. 71 00:05:47,166.12244898 --> 00:05:50,76.12244898 If you're not comfortable with naming your body parts. 72 00:05:50,946.12244898 --> 00:05:52,896.12244898 Then that should be the first step. 73 00:05:53,346.12244898 --> 00:05:53,796.12244898 Right. 74 00:05:54,186.12244898 --> 00:05:55,206.12244898 Sister friends. 75 00:05:55,506.12244898 --> 00:05:56,346.12244898 It's okay. 76 00:05:57,36.12244898 --> 00:05:57,876.12244898 I am queen. 77 00:05:58,326.12244898 --> 00:06:00,6.12244898 I am his favorite. 78 00:06:00,6.12244898 --> 00:06:02,166.12244898 And if it is an issue. 79 00:06:02,916.12244898 --> 00:06:05,496.12244898 I am already forgiven. 80 00:06:06,106.12244898 --> 00:06:12,136.12244898 So we have to let go of past beliefs that limits us in order to do so. 81 00:06:12,796.12244898 --> 00:06:19,276.12244898 We have to be open to have these conversations with ourselves and with God. 82 00:06:19,936.12244898 --> 00:06:20,716.12244898 Yes. 83 00:06:21,286.12244898 --> 00:06:22,636.12244898 With God. 84 00:06:23,296.12244898 --> 00:06:25,906.12244898 Let's be honest with each other too. 85 00:06:26,686.12244898 --> 00:06:34,456.12244898 How many of you have internalized beliefs that make intimacy feel like a duty rather than joyous. 86 00:06:34,916.12244898 --> 00:06:37,166.12244898 And if you have an orgasm. 87 00:06:37,826.12244898 --> 00:06:39,986.12244898 You don't know what to do with yourself. 88 00:06:40,526.12244898 --> 00:06:41,426.12244898 You're thinking. 89 00:06:42,326.12244898 --> 00:06:43,556.12244898 Should I repent. 90 00:06:45,596.12244898 --> 00:06:48,956.12244898 Not sure what you did or thought you did. 91 00:06:49,826.12244898 --> 00:06:52,316.12244898 But you cannot go wrong given God. 92 00:06:52,346.12244898 --> 00:06:54,776.12244898 Thanks for the experience you were having. 93 00:06:55,766.12244898 --> 00:07:01,196.12244898 If you have never had an orgasm sister friend, you got work to do. 94 00:07:01,646.12244898 --> 00:07:07,496.12244898 I talk about that in some of my previous podcasts, you may want to go back and take a listen to that. 95 00:07:08,216.12244898 --> 00:07:19,406.12244898 Or maybe you struggle with body image, feeling that your bodies, which have carried you through so much, aren't as perfect as they once were. 96 00:07:20,456.12244898 --> 00:07:24,116.12244898 In first Corinthians six, 19 to 20, it reads. 97 00:07:24,626.12244898 --> 00:07:36,336.12244898 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the holy spirit? Often this verse has been used to remind us to respect our bodies. 98 00:07:36,816.12244898 --> 00:07:37,206.12244898 Right. 99 00:07:37,866.12244898 --> 00:07:40,416.12244898 But I'd like to offer another perspective. 100 00:07:41,256.12244898 --> 00:07:43,566.12244898 If our bodies are temples. 101 00:07:44,256.12244898 --> 00:07:45,426.12244898 Then there also. 102 00:07:45,696.12244898 --> 00:07:49,776.12244898 Sacred places where love and connection can dwell. 103 00:07:50,316.12244898 --> 00:07:52,536.12244898 In the sanctity of marriage though. 104 00:07:53,446.12244898 --> 00:07:56,26.12244898 What greater pleasure and honor. 105 00:07:56,356.12244898 --> 00:07:59,56.12244898 Can there be in the sanctity of marriage. 106 00:07:59,446.12244898 --> 00:08:03,166.12244898 Then to bless each other in the joy of intimacy. 107 00:08:03,646.12244898 --> 00:08:04,576.12244898 And sex. 108 00:08:05,626.12244898 --> 00:08:07,276.12244898 Thank you Lord. 109 00:08:08,766.12244898 --> 00:08:09,636.12244898 As a woman. 110 00:08:10,146.12244898 --> 00:08:13,806.12244898 Especially those of you who are more seasoned in life. 111 00:08:14,406.12244898 --> 00:08:29,56.12244898 You carry the imprints of years lived marks of motherhood of surgical scars, other diagnosis of stress of laughter and yes, maybe even of pain and loss. 112 00:08:29,836.12244898 --> 00:08:33,826.12244898 But these changes do not diminish your world. 113 00:08:35,116.12244898 --> 00:08:37,756.12244898 God made you to be loved. 114 00:08:38,356.12244898 --> 00:08:39,766.12244898 And to love. 115 00:08:40,126.12244898 --> 00:08:48,526.12244898 And part of that is learning to embrace the bodies he has given you right where you are. 116 00:08:50,116.12244898 --> 00:09:00,106.12244898 Do you need to make some improvements to paint the walls of your temple, to clean the bathroom off your temple, to dust the shelves off your temple. 117 00:09:00,376.12244898 --> 00:09:08,206.12244898 That is to say, do you need to lose some weight to eat better to forgive others? And so on? Certainly. 118 00:09:08,956.12244898 --> 00:09:11,56.12244898 If you do not take care of your temple. 119 00:09:11,386.12244898 --> 00:09:15,736.12244898 It will fall apart like any old house wood. 120 00:09:16,716.12244898 --> 00:09:20,706.12244898 Do not skip over the book in the Bible song of Solomon. 121 00:09:21,216.12244898 --> 00:09:27,96.12244898 I encourage you to go and find it, read it in different versions. 122 00:09:27,756.12244898 --> 00:09:34,326.12244898 Elizabethan is fine, but the ESL and NIV and message translation. 123 00:09:35,286.12244898 --> 00:09:38,736.12244898 May also bring to light, simple language. 124 00:09:39,66.12244898 --> 00:09:41,706.12244898 You may have to close your eyes on. 125 00:09:42,576.12244898 --> 00:09:45,156.12244898 Read between the lines sister, friends. 126 00:09:47,16.12244898 --> 00:09:56,316.12244898 I have never heard a sermon in church preached from song of Solomon, even in today's day and age. 127 00:09:56,916.12244898 --> 00:10:00,516.12244898 Or even mentioned at a marriage retreat. 128 00:10:01,116.12244898 --> 00:10:02,406.12244898 That would be appropriate. 129 00:10:02,436.12244898 --> 00:10:03,96.12244898 Yes. 130 00:10:03,546.12244898 --> 00:10:07,806.12244898 I've had someone told me that they have been to marriage. 131 00:10:08,106.12244898 --> 00:10:12,936.12244898 Seminars and marriage retreat and nothing. 132 00:10:13,506.12244898 --> 00:10:15,636.12244898 Nothing zero zilch. 133 00:10:15,996.12244898 --> 00:10:23,676.12244898 Is ever mentioned about sex and not to mention you can always just springboard from song of Solomon. 134 00:10:24,836.12244898 --> 00:10:25,586.12244898 But nothing. 135 00:10:26,546.12244898 --> 00:10:29,816.12244898 Many do not even know about this book in the Bible. 136 00:10:30,566.12244898 --> 00:10:32,426.12244898 But now you do. 137 00:10:33,476.12244898 --> 00:10:39,836.12244898 Consider song of Solomon chapter four and seven, which says you are all together. 138 00:10:39,836.12244898 --> 00:10:40,466.12244898 Beautiful. 139 00:10:40,526.12244898 --> 00:10:41,276.12244898 My love. 140 00:10:41,636.12244898 --> 00:10:44,396.12244898 There is no flaw in you. 141 00:10:45,156.12244898 --> 00:10:46,686.12244898 God's love for you. 142 00:10:46,746.12244898 --> 00:10:47,556.12244898 It's like that. 143 00:10:48,156.12244898 --> 00:10:51,156.12244898 He sees you as his beloved. 144 00:10:51,606.12244898 --> 00:10:52,716.12244898 Without flaw. 145 00:10:53,436.12244898 --> 00:10:58,356.12244898 What if we could bring that same attitude to our intimate lives. 146 00:10:58,836.12244898 --> 00:11:07,326.12244898 Imagine how powerful it would be to look at yourselves and your partners through a lens of love. 147 00:11:07,746.12244898 --> 00:11:11,46.12244898 Forgiveness and appreciation. 148 00:11:11,266.12244898 --> 00:11:12,556.12244898 I tell you the truth. 149 00:11:13,6.12244898 --> 00:11:15,256.12244898 The military made me quite critical. 150 00:11:15,256.12244898 --> 00:11:15,886.12244898 Indeed. 151 00:11:16,276.12244898 --> 00:11:23,416.12244898 We were weighed and measured twice per year and expected to be a certain weight for a given height. 152 00:11:24,496.12244898 --> 00:11:28,606.12244898 And I still look at myself and sometimes others through the critical lens. 153 00:11:29,176.12244898 --> 00:11:31,246.12244898 Telling the truth to shame the devil here. 154 00:11:31,876.12244898 --> 00:11:34,306.12244898 And because I was more muscular. 155 00:11:35,26.12244898 --> 00:11:39,466.12244898 I was always in the fat boys align, being considered. 156 00:11:39,796.12244898 --> 00:11:43,156.12244898 Overweight until my BMI said all the lies. 157 00:11:43,696.12244898 --> 00:11:45,466.12244898 I was in the best shape of my life. 158 00:11:46,6.12244898 --> 00:11:49,846.12244898 Yeah, it's heavier than what is expected for my Heights. 159 00:11:50,846.12244898 --> 00:11:58,886.12244898 And I still look at myself and sometimes others through that critical lens, I'm telling the truth to shame the devil here. 160 00:11:59,186.12244898 --> 00:12:00,206.12244898 Don't judge me. 161 00:12:01,646.12244898 --> 00:12:03,806.12244898 But, but I am changing. 162 00:12:03,896.12244898 --> 00:12:07,136.12244898 I am seeking to love the soul of my hubby. 163 00:12:07,466.12244898 --> 00:12:10,286.12244898 The physical, including the new tummy. 164 00:12:10,856.12244898 --> 00:12:21,686.12244898 Is being appreciated as part of the change, right? The tummy gets smaller sometimes, and sometimes it gets a little bigger, but that does not change my love for him. 165 00:12:22,436.12244898 --> 00:12:26,396.12244898 Neither should your appearance in the mirror change your acceptance. 166 00:12:26,726.12244898 --> 00:12:28,586.12244898 And love off yourself. 167 00:12:29,366.12244898 --> 00:12:32,726.12244898 Be gentle and kind to yourself. 168 00:12:32,966.12244898 --> 00:12:38,816.12244898 While you walk the path of self-maintenance or self-improvement. 169 00:12:39,716.12244898 --> 00:12:43,526.12244898 This is not a Katia blanche to just let yourself loose. 170 00:12:44,366.12244898 --> 00:12:50,726.12244898 Or you will surely in quickly be like the remnants of those great coliseums. 171 00:12:52,416.12244898 --> 00:12:56,976.12244898 Believe it or not, there is healing through intimacy as well. 172 00:12:57,876.12244898 --> 00:13:03,96.12244898 Before Lauren though, this kind of intimacy and love I'm describing here. 173 00:13:03,456.12244898 --> 00:13:06,546.12244898 Is a very hard to attain. 174 00:13:06,786.12244898 --> 00:13:09,846.12244898 If you do not have a relationship with Christ. 175 00:13:10,656.12244898 --> 00:13:17,226.12244898 Jesus is the master of everything, including teaching you how to love. 176 00:13:17,616.12244898 --> 00:13:24,336.12244898 He can teach you how to have great intimacy and sex to sexist. 177 00:13:24,336.12244898 --> 00:13:24,816.12244898 Pure. 178 00:13:25,236.12244898 --> 00:13:28,506.12244898 The joy of it was tainted by the evil one. 179 00:13:28,986.12244898 --> 00:13:29,976.12244898 No more though. 180 00:13:30,36.12244898 --> 00:13:30,636.12244898 Nelsa. 181 00:13:31,56.12244898 --> 00:13:38,46.12244898 Reclaim it for those who have gone through trauma loss or the grief of change, relationship status. 182 00:13:38,436.12244898 --> 00:13:41,886.12244898 Attempts at intimacy can make you feel. 183 00:13:42,636.12244898 --> 00:13:43,746.12244898 Vulnerable. 184 00:13:44,526.12244898 --> 00:13:46,476.12244898 And in adequate. 185 00:13:47,946.12244898 --> 00:13:49,416.12244898 That's not true. 186 00:13:49,986.12244898 --> 00:13:52,926.12244898 Don't believe the hype of feelings. 187 00:13:53,676.12244898 --> 00:13:59,436.12244898 Uh, past podcast was done on the topic intimacy after the loss of a loved one. 188 00:14:00,426.12244898 --> 00:14:02,136.12244898 I encourage you to check it out. 189 00:14:03,396.12244898 --> 00:14:16,296.12244898 It's normal to have fears and reservations, especially when you've been hurt in the past, or if you've experienced changes in your bodies that make you feel different. 190 00:14:17,166.12244898 --> 00:14:20,676.12244898 But healing is part of God's promise to you. 191 00:14:21,66.12244898 --> 00:14:26,826.12244898 And intimacy can actually be a tool for healing when approached with faith. 192 00:14:27,186.12244898 --> 00:14:28,26.12244898 I love. 193 00:14:30,546.12244898 --> 00:14:32,256.12244898 In Matthew 1128. 194 00:14:32,556.12244898 --> 00:14:35,496.12244898 Jesus says, come to me. 195 00:14:35,946.12244898 --> 00:14:38,286.12244898 All who are weary and burdened. 196 00:14:38,676.12244898 --> 00:14:40,326.12244898 And I will give you rest. 197 00:14:41,106.12244898 --> 00:14:49,686.12244898 This invitation to go to God with your burden is also an invitation to go to your relationships with honesty. 198 00:14:49,986.12244898 --> 00:14:51,366.12244898 An openness. 199 00:14:52,146.12244898 --> 00:14:53,196.12244898 True intimacy. 200 00:14:53,226.12244898 --> 00:14:54,876.12244898 Isn't about perfection. 201 00:14:54,906.12244898 --> 00:14:56,616.12244898 It's about vulnerability. 202 00:14:56,616.12244898 --> 00:14:59,166.12244898 Uh, connection and trust. 203 00:14:59,856.12244898 --> 00:15:01,986.12244898 You first learned this through God. 204 00:15:02,856.12244898 --> 00:15:07,146.12244898 Then other relationships will become easier to handle. 205 00:15:07,836.12244898 --> 00:15:10,686.12244898 Maybe this means taking small steps. 206 00:15:11,316.12244898 --> 00:15:14,106.12244898 Holding hands more often with your hubby. 207 00:15:14,556.12244898 --> 00:15:19,266.12244898 Spending time talking without distractions. 208 00:15:19,266.12244898 --> 00:15:21,486.12244898 without distractions. 209 00:15:22,176.12244898 --> 00:15:25,776.12244898 Put down to phone ladies put away those distractions. 210 00:15:26,556.12244898 --> 00:15:30,456.12244898 Or simply sitting together in quiet companionship. 211 00:15:31,476.12244898 --> 00:15:36,96.12244898 Intimacy doesn't have to be crying to sexual all or nothing. 212 00:15:36,96.12244898 --> 00:15:44,406.12244898 Experience is the little consistent acts of love that build a foundation of closeness and safety. 213 00:15:45,516.12244898 --> 00:15:52,416.12244898 Sexual discussion and joyous intercourse will come as part of the package with your hubby. 214 00:15:52,416.12244898 --> 00:15:53,286.12244898 And remember. 215 00:15:54,126.12244898 --> 00:15:55,416.12244898 God doesn't rush. 216 00:15:55,416.12244898 --> 00:15:55,836.12244898 You. 217 00:15:56,826.12244898 --> 00:16:00,36.12244898 Healing, whether it's physical or emotional. 218 00:16:00,396.12244898 --> 00:16:03,66.12244898 Happened in its own time. 219 00:16:03,426.12244898 --> 00:16:05,376.12244898 With the help of Jesus. 220 00:16:05,796.12244898 --> 00:16:13,206.12244898 Give yourself the grace to go at a pace that feels comfortable to you. 221 00:16:13,746.12244898 --> 00:16:14,166.12244898 Right. 222 00:16:14,496.12244898 --> 00:16:15,666.12244898 There is no. 223 00:16:16,146.12244898 --> 00:16:21,36.12244898 And time when something is supposed to happen or this should have happened by now. 224 00:16:21,126.12244898 --> 00:16:21,666.12244898 No. 225 00:16:22,176.12244898 --> 00:16:23,706.12244898 Give yourself. 226 00:16:24,36.12244898 --> 00:16:24,876.12244898 Grace. 227 00:16:27,126.12244898 --> 00:16:32,376.12244898 Let's talk about faith as a foundation for reconnecting with your partners. 228 00:16:33,166.12244898 --> 00:16:37,696.12244898 I know, sister, friends, something just may not see him or son, right. 229 00:16:37,696.12244898 --> 00:16:42,526.122449 With this whole intimacy and sex thing with God in the mix. 230 00:16:42,826.122449 --> 00:16:43,366.122449 Right. 231 00:16:43,796.122449 --> 00:16:52,616.122449 But if you are going to speak with God about paying your bills and talk to him about your health issues and groan about work problems. 232 00:16:52,916.122449 --> 00:16:59,96.122449 Why is praying about a good orgasm to de stress and give you a good night's sleep feels. 233 00:16:59,96.122449 --> 00:17:00,896.122449 So I don't know. 234 00:17:00,986.122449 --> 00:17:01,586.122449 Weird. 235 00:17:03,266.122449 --> 00:17:08,276.122449 He is my God love a friend, and I invite you to consider him as such to. 236 00:17:09,376.122449 --> 00:17:16,486.122449 It might other favorite book Ecclesiastes, these Salomon declared that everything was meaningless. 237 00:17:16,756.122449 --> 00:17:19,156.122449 Like trying to hold onto smoke. 238 00:17:19,546.122449 --> 00:17:22,456.122449 Chasing after and trying to catch the wind. 239 00:17:23,236.122449 --> 00:17:26,626.122449 He surmised that no one can enjoy life. 240 00:17:27,106.122449 --> 00:17:29,206.122449 You cannot enjoy life. 241 00:17:29,716.122449 --> 00:17:32,536.122449 Unless God gives you the ability to do so. 242 00:17:33,356.122449 --> 00:17:34,646.122449 So remind me again. 243 00:17:35,366.122449 --> 00:17:41,566.122449 Why would you not include intimacy or your sex life? When talking to God? Prayer. 244 00:17:41,986.122449 --> 00:17:46,636.122449 Share devotional or even a Bible study on love and marriage. 245 00:17:46,966.122449 --> 00:17:50,176.122449 Can be wonderful ways to rebuild intimacy. 246 00:17:50,866.122449 --> 00:17:59,866.122449 When you pray together as a couple, you're inviting God into your relationship and this can deepen your connection. 247 00:18:00,196.122449 --> 00:18:02,116.122449 In unexpected ways. 248 00:18:02,566.122449 --> 00:18:12,946.122449 But can I pause and be honest here, some males may not be as willing to pray with you and read the Bible with you and do personal Bible study. 249 00:18:13,636.122449 --> 00:18:17,866.122449 This is an area of growth for me and an area. 250 00:18:17,926.122449 --> 00:18:19,666.122449 We continue to work in. 251 00:18:20,296.122449 --> 00:18:23,566.122449 We never used to pray together, except for it's saying grace. 252 00:18:23,866.122449 --> 00:18:28,336.122449 Now we don't leave the house without praying over each other. 253 00:18:29,326.122449 --> 00:18:31,876.122449 I'm working on him with the Bible study. 254 00:18:32,266.122449 --> 00:18:34,966.122449 Just the personal one-on-one Bible study though. 255 00:18:35,956.122449 --> 00:18:37,966.122449 But I'm staying in my lane. 256 00:18:38,566.122449 --> 00:18:40,276.122449 And we'll take the crumbs off. 257 00:18:40,606.122449 --> 00:18:48,86.122449 Praying together on couple's life group, which is like a group Bible study that my church have. 258 00:18:49,376.122449 --> 00:18:50,966.122449 I'm just going to wait on God. 259 00:18:51,596.122449 --> 00:18:58,196.122449 Praying that he will work on M on the importance of couples, Bible study. 260 00:18:59,6.122449 --> 00:19:01,886.122449 I'm so grateful that we're now praying together. 261 00:19:02,486.122449 --> 00:19:07,796.122449 But I just want to get into the Bible within, you know, get into song of Solomon. 262 00:19:09,266.122449 --> 00:19:09,806.122449 Shh. 263 00:19:10,166.122449 --> 00:19:11,126.122449 Don't tell him though. 264 00:19:11,126.122449 --> 00:19:13,226.122449 Don't tell him I'm praying over him. 265 00:19:13,376.122449 --> 00:19:15,566.122449 Um, massage and stuff like, mm. 266 00:19:16,286.122449 --> 00:19:17,636.122449 We going to get there. 267 00:19:19,506.122449 --> 00:19:26,526.122449 Ephesians 5 25 through 28 talks about husband and wives and how we're called to love each other. 268 00:19:26,526.122449 --> 00:19:30,216.122449 Sacrificially just as Christ loved the church. 269 00:19:30,726.122449 --> 00:19:33,336.122449 This idea of sacrificial love. 270 00:19:33,876.122449 --> 00:19:36,276.122449 It's quite foreign to many of you. 271 00:19:36,276.122449 --> 00:19:40,506.122449 And actually I think is quite lost on us culturally. 272 00:19:41,196.122449 --> 00:19:47,796.122449 I have seen divorce forge in myths of illnesses and that made my heart. 273 00:19:48,126.122449 --> 00:19:48,576.122449 Ache. 274 00:19:49,266.122449 --> 00:19:51,906.122449 What exactly is sacrificial love. 275 00:19:52,486.122449 --> 00:19:56,296.122449 In today's world of ease and maximum waste. 276 00:19:56,566.122449 --> 00:19:58,996.122449 And dependence on social media. 277 00:19:59,836.122449 --> 00:20:02,176.122449 What exactly is sacrificial love. 278 00:20:03,16.122449 --> 00:20:08,806.122449 Jesus gave the best example when he died for you and died for me. 279 00:20:09,166.122449 --> 00:20:14,146.122449 It's beyond comprehension, my imagination, the suffering. 280 00:20:14,716.122449 --> 00:20:17,566.122449 Considering the jerk in pain and screech. 281 00:20:17,566.122449 --> 00:20:19,936.122449 When I stubbed my toes on a furniture. 282 00:20:20,636.122449 --> 00:20:26,696.122449 No, I think we truly fail to comprehend on that level. 283 00:20:26,726.122449 --> 00:20:28,76.122449 What God did. 284 00:20:28,436.122449 --> 00:20:29,666.122449 For us. 285 00:20:30,446.122449 --> 00:20:34,136.122449 Sacrificial love isn't about one person serving another. 286 00:20:34,706.122449 --> 00:20:38,636.122449 What about mutual love, respect and understanding. 287 00:20:39,356.122449 --> 00:20:45,806.122449 Imagine if your approach to intimacy was grounded in this type of self giving love. 288 00:20:46,166.122449 --> 00:20:50,696.122449 We're both partners feel valued, cherished, and seen. 289 00:20:51,246.122449 --> 00:20:55,476.122449 Each person downright just eager to please the other. 290 00:20:56,376.122449 --> 00:20:57,456.122449 Sometimes. 291 00:20:58,116.122449 --> 00:21:00,606.122449 Reconnect and requires a bit of courage though. 292 00:21:01,416.122449 --> 00:21:08,526.122449 It can feel vulnerable to express your needs, especially if they've gone unspoken for years. 293 00:21:08,946.122449 --> 00:21:13,986.122449 But as I've always said, Communication is key. 294 00:21:14,886.122449 --> 00:21:19,326.122449 Try talking openly with your partner about what feels good. 295 00:21:19,746.122449 --> 00:21:32,116.122449 What feels safe and what you both desire in this season of life? And remember that seasons change, right? So what worked. 296 00:21:32,896.122449 --> 00:21:35,266.122449 Five years ago or 10 years ago. 297 00:21:35,686.122449 --> 00:21:37,156.122449 It's different now. 298 00:21:38,56.122449 --> 00:21:46,96.122449 And let's not forget that God cares about your joy, even in these deeply personal aspects of life. 299 00:21:46,486.122449 --> 00:21:55,126.122449 He delights in your closeness with one another, especially when that closeness is rooted in love and faith. 300 00:21:55,826.122449 --> 00:22:01,916.122449 Sister friends, honoring intimacy as part of your spiritual life is normal. 301 00:22:02,426.122449 --> 00:22:06,116.122449 It has been a part of the norm for long before your time. 302 00:22:06,446.122449 --> 00:22:08,66.122449 And we'll continue. 303 00:22:08,456.122449 --> 00:22:19,436.122449 Long after you are gone, solo Solomon is an invitation to admire what God has created your body and the body of your spouse. 304 00:22:20,156.122449 --> 00:22:23,366.122449 When you have you intimacy as part of your spiritual life. 305 00:22:23,816.122449 --> 00:22:25,916.122449 It becomes a way to honor God. 306 00:22:26,276.122449 --> 00:22:35,636.122449 Your partners and yourselves Psalm 1 39 14 says I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. 307 00:22:36,426.122449 --> 00:22:46,146.122449 This doesn't just apply to how we are created physically, but also how we are made to love and connect with one another. 308 00:22:47,16.122449 --> 00:22:50,436.122449 Incorporating faith into your intimate lives. 309 00:22:50,706.122449 --> 00:22:53,676.122449 It doesn't mean we ignore the reality of the struggles. 310 00:22:54,36.122449 --> 00:23:01,836.122449 It means you're bringing your struggles to God trust in that he is present with you in every moment. 311 00:23:02,526.122449 --> 00:23:05,946.122449 Whether it's dealing with the insecurities of aging. 312 00:23:06,276.122449 --> 00:23:11,246.122449 The fear of phone or ability, or even a lack of sexual desire. 313 00:23:11,756.122449 --> 00:23:15,716.122449 God meets us where we are. 314 00:23:16,16.122449 --> 00:23:19,436.122449 He will meet you where you are. 315 00:23:20,576.122449 --> 00:23:24,146.122449 I encourage you to take some time after this episode to reflect. 316 00:23:24,476.122449 --> 00:23:28,826.122449 On how you might bring your faith into your intimate life. 317 00:23:29,426.122449 --> 00:23:30,926.122449 Maybe it's through prayer. 318 00:23:31,436.122449 --> 00:23:33,866.122449 Maybe it's through practicing gratitude. 319 00:23:34,286.122449 --> 00:23:43,766.122449 Or maybe simply by talking to God about your hopes and fears in this area, dealing with sex and intimacy. 320 00:23:45,56.122449 --> 00:23:46,166.122449 Some of you ladies. 321 00:23:46,196.122449 --> 00:23:46,946.122449 I know. 322 00:23:47,186.122449 --> 00:23:49,16.122449 You have been through trauma. 323 00:23:49,286.122449 --> 00:23:53,786.122449 Childhood trauma, sexual trauma, whatever it may be. 324 00:23:54,566.122449 --> 00:23:56,276.122449 God understands. 325 00:23:56,886.122449 --> 00:24:06,966.122449 And in facing your past issues and pains and all the things that you may have gone through that is hindering you now. 326 00:24:07,746.122449 --> 00:24:10,236.122449 Only God can bring you through that. 327 00:24:10,896.122449 --> 00:24:16,446.122449 Don't expect your partner to know what is going on or what's happened. 328 00:24:16,746.122449 --> 00:24:21,456.122449 Or to be able to relate to the child in you from back then. 329 00:24:21,996.122449 --> 00:24:24,516.122449 This occurred many years ago. 330 00:24:27,576.122449 --> 00:24:29,766.122449 Again, God. 331 00:24:30,246.122449 --> 00:24:35,376.122449 Can help you through your fears in dealing with sex and intimacy. 332 00:24:35,856.122449 --> 00:24:39,216.122449 Trust that he hears you and is with you. 333 00:24:39,996.122449 --> 00:24:43,986.122449 Nothing and I mean, nothing is ever done. 334 00:24:44,406.122449 --> 00:24:45,396.122449 In the dark. 335 00:24:46,416.122449 --> 00:24:48,276.122449 God sees everything. 336 00:24:49,746.122449 --> 00:24:51,666.122449 I have heard from some of you. 337 00:24:52,206.122449 --> 00:24:53,436.122449 Some offer. 338 00:24:54,6.122449 --> 00:25:05,66.122449 Insecurities and issues you face when other ladies, you know, run around practically naked, leaving nothing to the imagination. 339 00:25:06,416.122449 --> 00:25:11,696.122449 Poor males wondering as you think go into and fro like a tennis match. 340 00:25:12,116.122449 --> 00:25:12,656.122449 What. 341 00:25:13,46.122449 --> 00:25:16,106.122449 Are there eyes wondering just to reflex. 342 00:25:17,276.122449 --> 00:25:24,356.122449 Honestly though, you know, you look too, but more in disbelief, like what the ham sandwich. 343 00:25:24,686.122449 --> 00:25:29,376.122449 Is she really wearing that? Oh, wait a minute. 344 00:25:30,6.122449 --> 00:25:31,476.122449 I might talking about you. 345 00:25:31,716.122449 --> 00:25:35,526.122449 Could it be that you're the one who were aware in these sexually. 346 00:25:35,946.122449 --> 00:25:42,396.122449 Seductive clothing out there where it's, uh, like you can see everything. 347 00:25:43,146.122449 --> 00:25:44,436.122449 I'm talking about you. 348 00:25:46,686.122449 --> 00:25:48,606.122449 Well, if I am. 349 00:25:50,946.122449 --> 00:25:55,266.122449 Other folks hobby are looking, and I know the response. 350 00:25:55,626.122449 --> 00:25:57,876.122449 Nothing personal, no judgment. 351 00:25:57,876.122449 --> 00:25:58,146.122449 Here. 352 00:25:58,146.122449 --> 00:26:04,176.122449 We are talking about faith and the distractions that are out there for mates. 353 00:26:04,656.122449 --> 00:26:09,966.122449 And it's not just the men or looking, the woman are looking too, but. 354 00:26:11,676.122449 --> 00:26:16,626.122449 I'm going to have to leave some of this to your own imagination or leave some of this for. 355 00:26:16,926.122449 --> 00:26:18,396.122449 Your own conclusion. 356 00:26:18,786.122449 --> 00:26:19,176.122449 But. 357 00:26:20,186.122449 --> 00:26:20,726.122449 Like. 358 00:26:21,897.4557823 --> 00:26:23,667.4557823 Like you could see the nipple edge. 359 00:26:23,667.4557823 --> 00:26:28,137.4557823 You could see the F everything, the Puffin, the front. 360 00:26:29,37.4557823 --> 00:26:30,867.4557823 It's like, oh my gosh. 361 00:26:32,367.4557823 --> 00:26:32,967.4557823 Right. 362 00:26:33,717.4557823 --> 00:26:35,847.4557823 So if he's looking. 363 00:26:36,927.4557823 --> 00:26:50,817.4557823 What is it truly? Is it like a car accident on a rainy or snowy day slowing down to gaze at really what happened and praying that they survived the crash or, or. 364 00:26:51,537.4557823 --> 00:26:55,827.4557823 Is there something missing in the bedroom and the brains are wondering. 365 00:26:56,877.4557823 --> 00:26:57,897.4557823 What if. 366 00:26:58,917.4557823 --> 00:27:00,957.4557823 You have to speak with your hubby. 367 00:27:01,827.4557823 --> 00:27:03,867.4557823 There are no shortcuts to this one. 368 00:27:04,347.4557823 --> 00:27:07,497.4557823 No one can do it for you either. 369 00:27:07,947.4557823 --> 00:27:09,567.4557823 You just have to have a chat. 370 00:27:11,67.4557823 --> 00:27:12,297.4557823 I am amazed. 371 00:27:12,657.4557823 --> 00:27:18,567.4557823 I have to admit at some of the things that are worn as clothing. 372 00:27:19,827.4557823 --> 00:27:20,877.4557823 The imprints. 373 00:27:21,207.4557823 --> 00:27:22,527.4557823 You can see everything. 374 00:27:23,547.4557823 --> 00:27:26,457.4557823 Again, What the ham sandwich. 375 00:27:28,17.4557823 --> 00:27:37,377.4557823 So, so Fred, I want to leave you with a reminder that you are beloved, that you are seen and that you are beautiful. 376 00:27:37,377.4557823 --> 00:27:40,377.4557823 We design for love and connection. 377 00:27:40,977.4557823 --> 00:27:44,757.4557823 Rediscovering intimacy through faith is a journey. 378 00:27:44,757.4557823 --> 00:27:51,717.4557823 One that unfolds uniquely for each of us, for each of you. 379 00:27:52,537.4557823 --> 00:27:55,747.4557823 Allow yourself to lean on God's guidance. 380 00:27:56,47.4557823 --> 00:28:02,617.4557823 And give yourself grace to explore this area of life in a way that feels true. 381 00:28:03,457.4557823 --> 00:28:04,447.4557823 To you. 382 00:28:05,647.4557823 --> 00:28:06,577.4557823 Granted. 383 00:28:07,357.4557823 --> 00:28:15,517.4557823 This is one of those topics that you have to warm yourself up to talking to God about sex and intimacy. 384 00:28:16,147.4557823 --> 00:28:17,287.4557823 It's okay. 385 00:28:18,127.4557823 --> 00:28:23,287.4557823 Thank you for joining me in this honest, heartfelt conversation. 386 00:28:23,887.4557823 --> 00:28:26,347.4557823 May you walk away feeling empowered. 387 00:28:26,677.4557823 --> 00:28:27,487.4557823 And courage. 388 00:28:27,817.4557823 --> 00:28:33,187.4557823 And opened to the blessings of intimacy that God has in store for you. 389 00:28:36,277.4557823 --> 00:28:44,587.4557823 Well, sister, friend, I know you have choices, so I thank you for tuning into Intimacy After podcast. 390 00:28:45,7.4557823 --> 00:28:53,557.4557823 You may subscribe for bimonthly alerts or stay in the know by visiting my website@queenquanta.com. 391 00:28:53,797.4557823 --> 00:28:57,942.4557823 That's Queen Q-U-A-N-T a.com. 392 00:28:58,712.4557823 --> 00:29:07,117.4557823 Until next time, remember, a life without Intimacy is like your favorite meal without salt. 393 00:29:07,972.4557823 --> 00:29:10,592.4557823 Ladies, let's spice it up. 394 00:29:11,92.4557823 --> 00:29:14,382.4557823 Life is beautiful, and God is awesome. 395 00:29:14,952.4557823 --> 00:29:17,897.2937823 This is Queen, signing out.
Hello and welcome.
.999This is Intimacy After, a podcast for mature women facing intimacy issues from various causes.
Please know you are not alone.
It is time to stop suffering in silence.
On this podcast, we give hope that through practice of simple steps and proven tips, you can improve intimacy and resurrect your love life.
(00:33):
Break free, learn to laugh again, to play again, to be happy, to love and know that you are loved.
I am your host, Queen.
Come on inside. 9 00:00:49,176.12244898 --> 00:00:51,576.12244898 Welcome inside sister friends. 10 00:00:51,936.12244898 --> 00:01:03,66.12244898 Today's topic is sort of a controversial area for many, an area of silence and closed doors in your face. 11 00:01:03,396.12244898 --> 00:01:05,526.12244898 Where many dare not tread. 12 00:01:05,526.12244898 --> 00:01:07,236.12244898 Well, we are going there. 13 00:01:07,656.12244898 --> 00:01:12,276.12244898 We're going to dive into a topic that is as deeply personal. 14 00:01:12,576.12244898 --> 00:01:14,646.12244898 As it is universal. 15 00:01:15,36.12244898 --> 00:01:18,546.12244898 Rediscovering intimacy through faith. 16 00:01:18,996.12244898 --> 00:01:20,76.12244898 Like what. 17 00:01:20,586.12244898 --> 00:01:22,176.12244898 Intimacy and faith. 18 00:01:22,446.12244898 --> 00:01:27,156.12244898 How does that work? I'm so glad you're here to find out. 19 00:01:27,636.12244898 --> 00:01:41,16.12244898 Are you ready to explore how your faith can open doors to a more fulfilling, vibrant, and connected intimate life? No matter your age or stage. 20 00:01:41,826.12244898 --> 00:01:47,686.12244898 Sister friend, we all get to that age or stage when navigating the changes. 21 00:01:47,686.12244898 --> 00:01:56,296.12244898 Life brings the responsibility as we shoulder, and sometimes the weight of doubts about ourselves and our relationships. 22 00:01:56,626.12244898 --> 00:01:58,636.12244898 Can leave us feeling alone. 23 00:01:59,806.12244898 --> 00:02:09,346.12244898 And on loved and, and if like me, you were raised in and with steep, strong religious values. 24 00:02:09,826.12244898 --> 00:02:17,266.12244898 Then you might have grown up with specific teachings about sex and intimacy that can sometimes feel. 25 00:02:17,776.12244898 --> 00:02:18,916.12244898 Complex. 26 00:02:19,406.12244898 --> 00:02:24,416.12244898 Where you wonder if everything you do in the bedroom sexually. 27 00:02:25,516.12244898 --> 00:02:27,256.12244898 If it's not missionary. 28 00:02:27,796.12244898 --> 00:02:29,26.12244898 Even though married. 29 00:02:30,76.12244898 --> 00:02:38,26.12244898 Is it sinful? Maybe you've all heard that your bodies were sacred, which they absolutely are. 30 00:02:38,456.12244898 --> 00:02:48,356.12244898 But perhaps you didn't hear enough about the joyful, loving, and beautiful sides of physical connections. 31 00:02:49,956.12244898 --> 00:02:57,666.12244898 To all my spiritual leaders, elders, pastors, ministers, bishops, priests, deacons, et cetera. 32 00:02:58,596.12244898 --> 00:03:01,986.12244898 What is God's loving, designed for intimacy. 33 00:03:02,556.12244898 --> 00:03:03,66.12244898 Hmm. 34 00:03:03,846.12244898 --> 00:03:05,856.12244898 I will tread lightly to start. 35 00:03:06,186.12244898 --> 00:03:09,426.12244898 But I want to start by saying this. 36 00:03:10,296.12244898 --> 00:03:12,276.12244898 Intimacy is a gift. 37 00:03:12,966.12244898 --> 00:03:23,226.12244898 When God created us, he designed our bodies, our hearts, and our spirits to connect with each other in profound and meaningful ways. 38 00:03:23,376.12244898 --> 00:03:25,86.12244898 In Genesis 2 24. 39 00:03:25,356.12244898 --> 00:03:26,16.12244898 We read. 40 00:03:26,496.12244898 --> 00:03:30,36.12244898 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother. 41 00:03:30,336.12244898 --> 00:03:36,66.12244898 And hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh. 42 00:03:36,666.12244898 --> 00:03:40,836.12244898 How do you become one flesh? No imagination needed here. 43 00:03:41,316.12244898 --> 00:03:44,886.12244898 However, this is more than just a physical bond though. 44 00:03:45,246.12244898 --> 00:03:47,736.12244898 It's a uniting of two souls. 45 00:03:48,96.12244898 --> 00:03:52,446.12244898 Our reflection of God's own relationship with us. 46 00:03:52,956.12244898 --> 00:03:53,766.12244898 Personal. 47 00:03:54,306.12244898 --> 00:03:55,26.12244898 Loving. 48 00:03:55,566.12244898 --> 00:03:57,36.12244898 And intentional. 49 00:03:57,936.12244898 --> 00:04:04,356.12244898 For many of us, especially those who may have grown up in the more conservative environments. 50 00:04:05,256.12244898 --> 00:04:11,976.12244898 Intimacy might've been spoken off only in hushed tones or even discouraged. 51 00:04:12,396.12244898 --> 00:04:20,706.12244898 Yet here we are with life experiences behind us, with wisdom gained and maybe with scars, from life's challenges. 52 00:04:20,736.12244898 --> 00:04:24,636.12244898 And now you get to ask yourselves. 53 00:04:25,646.12244898 --> 00:04:33,876.12244898 How can my faith bring me closer to my partner? How can I experience intimacy in a way that honors God. 54 00:04:34,326.12244898 --> 00:04:39,396.12244898 And brings joy into my personal relationship with my hubby. 55 00:04:40,476.12244898 --> 00:04:43,626.12244898 Your faith is not a barrier. 56 00:04:44,346.12244898 --> 00:04:45,726.12244898 It's a bridge. 57 00:04:46,86.12244898 --> 00:04:53,916.12244898 It's not a set of rules to limit you, but a path that leads you to live fuller, richer lives. 58 00:04:54,346.12244898 --> 00:05:03,496.12244898 Let's remember that God is describing the Bible as a loving father who wants to give good things to his children. 59 00:05:03,886.12244898 --> 00:05:07,336.12244898 God wants to give good things to you. 60 00:05:07,936.12244898 --> 00:05:09,706.12244898 He knows your needs. 61 00:05:10,66.12244898 --> 00:05:16,816.12244898 He knows your hopes and your fears, even in your most private moments. 62 00:05:16,936.12244898 --> 00:05:17,416.12244898 So. 63 00:05:18,406.12244898 --> 00:05:23,806.12244898 Why is it that you think God doesn't know about sex and intimacy? I know, I know. 64 00:05:23,986.12244898 --> 00:05:26,986.12244898 I just said God and sex in the same sentence. 65 00:05:28,6.12244898 --> 00:05:28,906.12244898 It's okay. 66 00:05:29,446.12244898 --> 00:05:33,706.12244898 He created our bodies and all our parts were named. 67 00:05:34,516.12244898 --> 00:05:36,256.12244898 Through and by him. 68 00:05:36,676.12244898 --> 00:05:42,796.12244898 So I am certain, he knows what a vagina is and what a penis is an owl. 69 00:05:42,796.12244898 --> 00:05:44,206.12244898 They are supposed to work. 70 00:05:45,346.12244898 --> 00:05:46,66.12244898 Sila. 71 00:05:47,166.12244898 --> 00:05:50,76.12244898 If you're not comfortable with naming your body parts. 72 00:05:50,946.12244898 --> 00:05:52,896.12244898 Then that should be the first step. 73 00:05:53,346.12244898 --> 00:05:53,796.12244898 Right. 74 00:05:54,186.12244898 --> 00:05:55,206.12244898 Sister friends. 75 00:05:55,506.12244898 --> 00:05:56,346.12244898 It's okay. 76 00:05:57,36.12244898 --> 00:05:57,876.12244898 I am queen. 77 00:05:58,326.12244898 --> 00:06:00,6.12244898 I am his favorite. 78 00:06:00,6.12244898 --> 00:06:02,166.12244898 And if it is an issue. 79 00:06:02,916.12244898 --> 00:06:05,496.12244898 I am already forgiven. 80 00:06:06,106.12244898 --> 00:06:12,136.12244898 So we have to let go of past beliefs that limits us in order to do so. 81 00:06:12,796.12244898 --> 00:06:19,276.12244898 We have to be open to have these conversations with ourselves and with God. 82 00:06:19,936.12244898 --> 00:06:20,716.12244898 Yes. 83 00:06:21,286.12244898 --> 00:06:22,636.12244898 With God. 84 00:06:23,296.12244898 --> 00:06:25,906.12244898 Let's be honest with each other too. 85 00:06:26,686.12244898 --> 00:06:34,456.12244898 How many of you have internalized beliefs that make intimacy feel like a duty rather than joyous. 86 00:06:34,916.12244898 --> 00:06:37,166.12244898 And if you have an orgasm. 87 00:06:37,826.12244898 --> 00:06:39,986.12244898 You don't know what to do with yourself. 88 00:06:40,526.12244898 --> 00:06:41,426.12244898 You're thinking. 89 00:06:42,326.12244898 --> 00:06:43,556.12244898 Should I repent. 90 00:06:45,596.12244898 --> 00:06:48,956.12244898 Not sure what you did or thought you did. 91 00:06:49,826.12244898 --> 00:06:52,316.12244898 But you cannot go wrong given God. 92 00:06:52,346.12244898 --> 00:06:54,776.12244898 Thanks for the experience you were having. 93 00:06:55,766.12244898 --> 00:07:01,196.12244898 If you have never had an orgasm sister friend, you got work to do. 94 00:07:01,646.12244898 --> 00:07:07,496.12244898 I talk about that in some of my previous podcasts, you may want to go back and take a listen to that. 95 00:07:08,216.12244898 --> 00:07:19,406.12244898 Or maybe you struggle with body image, feeling that your bodies, which have carried you through so much, aren't as perfect as they once were. 96 00:07:20,456.12244898 --> 00:07:24,116.12244898 In first Corinthians six, 19 to 20, it reads. 97 00:07:24,626.12244898 --> 00:07:36,336.12244898 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the holy spirit? Often this verse has been used to remind us to respect our bodies. 98 00:07:36,816.12244898 --> 00:07:37,206.12244898 Right. 99 00:07:37,866.12244898 --> 00:07:40,416.12244898 But I'd like to offer another perspective. 100 00:07:41,256.12244898 --> 00:07:43,566.12244898 If our bodies are temples. 101 00:07:44,256.12244898 --> 00:07:45,426.12244898 Then there also. 102 00:07:45,696.12244898 --> 00:07:49,776.12244898 Sacred places where love and connection can dwell. 103 00:07:50,316.12244898 --> 00:07:52,536.12244898 In the sanctity of marriage though. 104 00:07:53,446.12244898 --> 00:07:56,26.12244898 What greater pleasure and honor. 105 00:07:56,356.12244898 --> 00:07:59,56.12244898 Can there be in the sanctity of marriage. 106 00:07:59,446.12244898 --> 00:08:03,166.12244898 Then to bless each other in the joy of intimacy. 107 00:08:03,646.12244898 --> 00:08:04,576.12244898 And sex. 108 00:08:05,626.12244898 --> 00:08:07,276.12244898 Thank you Lord. 109 00:08:08,766.12244898 --> 00:08:09,636.12244898 As a woman. 110 00:08:10,146.12244898 --> 00:08:13,806.12244898 Especially those of you who are more seasoned in life. 111 00:08:14,406.12244898 --> 00:08:29,56.12244898 You carry the imprints of years lived marks of motherhood of surgical scars, other diagnosis of stress of laughter and yes, maybe even of pain and loss. 112 00:08:29,836.12244898 --> 00:08:33,826.12244898 But these changes do not diminish your world. 113 00:08:35,116.12244898 --> 00:08:37,756.12244898 God made you to be loved. 114 00:08:38,356.12244898 --> 00:08:39,766.12244898 And to love. 115 00:08:40,126.12244898 --> 00:08:48,526.12244898 And part of that is learning to embrace the bodies he has given you right where you are. 116 00:08:50,116.12244898 --> 00:09:00,106.12244898 Do you need to make some improvements to paint the walls of your temple, to clean the bathroom off your temple, to dust the shelves off your temple. 117 00:09:00,376.12244898 --> 00:09:08,206.12244898 That is to say, do you need to lose some weight to eat better to forgive others? And so on? Certainly. 118 00:09:08,956.12244898 --> 00:09:11,56.12244898 If you do not take care of your temple. 119 00:09:11,386.12244898 --> 00:09:15,736.12244898 It will fall apart like any old house wood. 120 00:09:16,716.12244898 --> 00:09:20,706.12244898 Do not skip over the book in the Bible song of Solomon. 121 00:09:21,216.12244898 --> 00:09:27,96.12244898 I encourage you to go and find it, read it in different versions. 122 00:09:27,756.12244898 --> 00:09:34,326.12244898 Elizabethan is fine, but the ESL and NIV and message translation. 123 00:09:35,286.12244898 --> 00:09:38,736.12244898 May also bring to light, simple language. 124 00:09:39,66.12244898 --> 00:09:41,706.12244898 You may have to close your eyes on. 125 00:09:42,576.12244898 --> 00:09:45,156.12244898 Read between the lines sister, friends. 126 00:09:47,16.12244898 --> 00:09:56,316.12244898 I have never heard a sermon in church preached from song of Solomon, even in today's day and age. 127 00:09:56,916.12244898 --> 00:10:00,516.12244898 Or even mentioned at a marriage retreat. 128 00:10:01,116.12244898 --> 00:10:02,406.12244898 That would be appropriate. 129 00:10:02,436.12244898 --> 00:10:03,96.12244898 Yes. 130 00:10:03,546.12244898 --> 00:10:07,806.12244898 I've had someone told me that they have been to marriage. 131 00:10:08,106.12244898 --> 00:10:12,936.12244898 Seminars and marriage retreat and nothing. 132 00:10:13,506.12244898 --> 00:10:15,636.12244898 Nothing zero zilch. 133 00:10:15,996.12244898 --> 00:10:23,676.12244898 Is ever mentioned about sex and not to mention you can always just springboard from song of Solomon. 134 00:10:24,836.12244898 --> 00:10:25,586.12244898 But nothing. 135 00:10:26,546.12244898 --> 00:10:29,816.12244898 Many do not even know about this book in the Bible. 136 00:10:30,566.12244898 --> 00:10:32,426.12244898 But now you do. 137 00:10:33,476.12244898 --> 00:10:39,836.12244898 Consider song of Solomon chapter four and seven, which says you are all together. 138 00:10:39,836.12244898 --> 00:10:40,466.12244898 Beautiful. 139 00:10:40,526.12244898 --> 00:10:41,276.12244898 My love. 140 00:10:41,636.12244898 --> 00:10:44,396.12244898 There is no flaw in you. 141 00:10:45,156.12244898 --> 00:10:46,686.12244898 God's love for you. 142 00:10:46,746.12244898 --> 00:10:47,556.12244898 It's like that. 143 00:10:48,156.12244898 --> 00:10:51,156.12244898 He sees you as his beloved. 144 00:10:51,606.12244898 --> 00:10:52,716.12244898 Without flaw. 145 00:10:53,436.12244898 --> 00:10:58,356.12244898 What if we could bring that same attitude to our intimate lives. 146 00:10:58,836.12244898 --> 00:11:07,326.12244898 Imagine how powerful it would be to look at yourselves and your partners through a lens of love. 147 00:11:07,746.12244898 --> 00:11:11,46.12244898 Forgiveness and appreciation. 148 00:11:11,266.12244898 --> 00:11:12,556.12244898 I tell you the truth. 149 00:11:13,6.12244898 --> 00:11:15,256.12244898 The military made me quite critical. 150 00:11:15,256.12244898 --> 00:11:15,886.12244898 Indeed. 151 00:11:16,276.12244898 --> 00:11:23,416.12244898 We were weighed and measured twice per year and expected to be a certain weight for a given height. 152 00:11:24,496.12244898 --> 00:11:28,606.12244898 And I still look at myself and sometimes others through the critical lens. 153 00:11:29,176.12244898 --> 00:11:31,246.12244898 Telling the truth to shame the devil here. 154 00:11:31,876.12244898 --> 00:11:34,306.12244898 And because I was more muscular. 155 00:11:35,26.12244898 --> 00:11:39,466.12244898 I was always in the fat boys align, being considered. 156 00:11:39,796.12244898 --> 00:11:43,156.12244898 Overweight until my BMI said all the lies. 157 00:11:43,696.12244898 --> 00:11:45,466.12244898 I was in the best shape of my life. 158 00:11:46,6.12244898 --> 00:11:49,846.12244898 Yeah, it's heavier than what is expected for my Heights. 159 00:11:50,846.12244898 --> 00:11:58,886.12244898 And I still look at myself and sometimes others through that critical lens, I'm telling the truth to shame the devil here. 160 00:11:59,186.12244898 --> 00:12:00,206.12244898 Don't judge me. 161 00:12:01,646.12244898 --> 00:12:03,806.12244898 But, but I am changing. 162 00:12:03,896.12244898 --> 00:12:07,136.12244898 I am seeking to love the soul of my hubby. 163 00:12:07,466.12244898 --> 00:12:10,286.12244898 The physical, including the new tummy. 164 00:12:10,856.12244898 --> 00:12:21,686.12244898 Is being appreciated as part of the change, right? The tummy gets smaller sometimes, and sometimes it gets a little bigger, but that does not change my love for him. 165 00:12:22,436.12244898 --> 00:12:26,396.12244898 Neither should your appearance in the mirror change your acceptance. 166 00:12:26,726.12244898 --> 00:12:28,586.12244898 And love off yourself. 167 00:12:29,366.12244898 --> 00:12:32,726.12244898 Be gentle and kind to yourself. 168 00:12:32,966.12244898 --> 00:12:38,816.12244898 While you walk the path of self-maintenance or self-improvement. 169 00:12:39,716.12244898 --> 00:12:43,526.12244898 This is not a Katia blanche to just let yourself loose. 170 00:12:44,366.12244898 --> 00:12:50,726.12244898 Or you will surely in quickly be like the remnants of those great coliseums. 171 00:12:52,416.12244898 --> 00:12:56,976.12244898 Believe it or not, there is healing through intimacy as well. 172 00:12:57,876.12244898 --> 00:13:03,96.12244898 Before Lauren though, this kind of intimacy and love I'm describing here. 173 00:13:03,456.12244898 --> 00:13:06,546.12244898 Is a very hard to attain. 174 00:13:06,786.12244898 --> 00:13:09,846.12244898 If you do not have a relationship with Christ. 175 00:13:10,656.12244898 --> 00:13:17,226.12244898 Jesus is the master of everything, including teaching you how to love. 176 00:13:17,616.12244898 --> 00:13:24,336.12244898 He can teach you how to have great intimacy and sex to sexist. 177 00:13:24,336.12244898 --> 00:13:24,816.12244898 Pure. 178 00:13:25,236.12244898 --> 00:13:28,506.12244898 The joy of it was tainted by the evil one. 179 00:13:28,986.12244898 --> 00:13:29,976.12244898 No more though. 180 00:13:30,36.12244898 --> 00:13:30,636.12244898 Nelsa. 181 00:13:31,56.12244898 --> 00:13:38,46.12244898 Reclaim it for those who have gone through trauma loss or the grief of change, relationship status. 182 00:13:38,436.12244898 --> 00:13:41,886.12244898 Attempts at intimacy can make you feel. 183 00:13:42,636.12244898 --> 00:13:43,746.12244898 Vulnerable. 184 00:13:44,526.12244898 --> 00:13:46,476.12244898 And in adequate. 185 00:13:47,946.12244898 --> 00:13:49,416.12244898 That's not true. 186 00:13:49,986.12244898 --> 00:13:52,926.12244898 Don't believe the hype of feelings. 187 00:13:53,676.12244898 --> 00:13:59,436.12244898 Uh, past podcast was done on the topic intimacy after the loss of a loved one. 188 00:14:00,426.12244898 --> 00:14:02,136.12244898 I encourage you to check it out. 189 00:14:03,396.12244898 --> 00:14:16,296.12244898 It's normal to have fears and reservations, especially when you've been hurt in the past, or if you've experienced changes in your bodies that make you feel different. 190 00:14:17,166.12244898 --> 00:14:20,676.12244898 But healing is part of God's promise to you. 191 00:14:21,66.12244898 --> 00:14:26,826.12244898 And intimacy can actually be a tool for healing when approached with faith. 192 00:14:27,186.12244898 --> 00:14:28,26.12244898 I love. 193 00:14:30,546.12244898 --> 00:14:32,256.12244898 In Matthew 1128. 194 00:14:32,556.12244898 --> 00:14:35,496.12244898 Jesus says, come to me. 195 00:14:35,946.12244898 --> 00:14:38,286.12244898 All who are weary and burdened. 196 00:14:38,676.12244898 --> 00:14:40,326.12244898 And I will give you rest. 197 00:14:41,106.12244898 --> 00:14:49,686.12244898 This invitation to go to God with your burden is also an invitation to go to your relationships with honesty. 198 00:14:49,986.12244898 --> 00:14:51,366.12244898 An openness. 199 00:14:52,146.12244898 --> 00:14:53,196.12244898 True intimacy. 200 00:14:53,226.12244898 --> 00:14:54,876.12244898 Isn't about perfection. 201 00:14:54,906.12244898 --> 00:14:56,616.12244898 It's about vulnerability. 202 00:14:56,616.12244898 --> 00:14:59,166.12244898 Uh, connection and trust. 203 00:14:59,856.12244898 --> 00:15:01,986.12244898 You first learned this through God. 204 00:15:02,856.12244898 --> 00:15:07,146.12244898 Then other relationships will become easier to handle. 205 00:15:07,836.12244898 --> 00:15:10,686.12244898 Maybe this means taking small steps. 206 00:15:11,316.12244898 --> 00:15:14,106.12244898 Holding hands more often with your hubby. 207 00:15:14,556.12244898 --> 00:15:19,266.12244898 Spending time talking without distractions. 208 00:15:19,266.12244898 --> 00:15:21,486.12244898 without distractions. 209 00:15:22,176.12244898 --> 00:15:25,776.12244898 Put down to phone ladies put away those distractions. 210 00:15:26,556.12244898 --> 00:15:30,456.12244898 Or simply sitting together in quiet companionship. 211 00:15:31,476.12244898 --> 00:15:36,96.12244898 Intimacy doesn't have to be crying to sexual all or nothing. 212 00:15:36,96.12244898 --> 00:15:44,406.12244898 Experience is the little consistent acts of love that build a foundation of closeness and safety. 213 00:15:45,516.12244898 --> 00:15:52,416.12244898 Sexual discussion and joyous intercourse will come as part of the package with your hubby. 214 00:15:52,416.12244898 --> 00:15:53,286.12244898 And remember. 215 00:15:54,126.12244898 --> 00:15:55,416.12244898 God doesn't rush. 216 00:15:55,416.12244898 --> 00:15:55,836.12244898 You. 217 00:15:56,826.12244898 --> 00:16:00,36.12244898 Healing, whether it's physical or emotional. 218 00:16:00,396.12244898 --> 00:16:03,66.12244898 Happened in its own time. 219 00:16:03,426.12244898 --> 00:16:05,376.12244898 With the help of Jesus. 220 00:16:05,796.12244898 --> 00:16:13,206.12244898 Give yourself the grace to go at a pace that feels comfortable to you. 221 00:16:13,746.12244898 --> 00:16:14,166.12244898 Right. 222 00:16:14,496.12244898 --> 00:16:15,666.12244898 There is no. 223 00:16:16,146.12244898 --> 00:16:21,36.12244898 And time when something is supposed to happen or this should have happened by now. 224 00:16:21,126.12244898 --> 00:16:21,666.12244898 No. 225 00:16:22,176.12244898 --> 00:16:23,706.12244898 Give yourself. 226 00:16:24,36.12244898 --> 00:16:24,876.12244898 Grace. 227 00:16:27,126.12244898 --> 00:16:32,376.12244898 Let's talk about faith as a foundation for reconnecting with your partners. 228 00:16:33,166.12244898 --> 00:16:37,696.12244898 I know, sister, friends, something just may not see him or son, right. 229 00:16:37,696.12244898 --> 00:16:42,526.122449 With this whole intimacy and sex thing with God in the mix. 230 00:16:42,826.122449 --> 00:16:43,366.122449 Right. 231 00:16:43,796.122449 --> 00:16:52,616.122449 But if you are going to speak with God about paying your bills and talk to him about your health issues and groan about work problems. 232 00:16:52,916.122449 --> 00:16:59,96.122449 Why is praying about a good orgasm to de stress and give you a good night's sleep feels. 233 00:16:59,96.122449 --> 00:17:00,896.122449 So I don't know. 234 00:17:00,986.122449 --> 00:17:01,586.122449 Weird. 235 00:17:03,266.122449 --> 00:17:08,276.122449 He is my God love a friend, and I invite you to consider him as such to. 236 00:17:09,376.122449 --> 00:17:16,486.122449 It might other favorite book Ecclesiastes, these Salomon declared that everything was meaningless. 237 00:17:16,756.122449 --> 00:17:19,156.122449 Like trying to hold onto smoke. 238 00:17:19,546.122449 --> 00:17:22,456.122449 Chasing after and trying to catch the wind. 239 00:17:23,236.122449 --> 00:17:26,626.122449 He surmised that no one can enjoy life. 240 00:17:27,106.122449 --> 00:17:29,206.122449 You cannot enjoy life. 241 00:17:29,716.122449 --> 00:17:32,536.122449 Unless God gives you the ability to do so. 242 00:17:33,356.122449 --> 00:17:34,646.122449 So remind me again. 243 00:17:35,366.122449 --> 00:17:41,566.122449 Why would you not include intimacy or your sex life? When talking to God? Prayer. 244 00:17:41,986.122449 --> 00:17:46,636.122449 Share devotional or even a Bible study on love and marriage. 245 00:17:46,966.122449 --> 00:17:50,176.122449 Can be wonderful ways to rebuild intimacy. 246 00:17:50,866.122449 --> 00:17:59,866.122449 When you pray together as a couple, you're inviting God into your relationship and this can deepen your connection. 247 00:18:00,196.122449 --> 00:18:02,116.122449 In unexpected ways. 248 00:18:02,566.122449 --> 00:18:12,946.122449 But can I pause and be honest here, some males may not be as willing to pray with you and read the Bible with you and do personal Bible study. 249 00:18:13,636.122449 --> 00:18:17,866.122449 This is an area of growth for me and an area. 250 00:18:17,926.122449 --> 00:18:19,666.122449 We continue to work in. 251 00:18:20,296.122449 --> 00:18:23,566.122449 We never used to pray together, except for it's saying grace. 252 00:18:23,866.122449 --> 00:18:28,336.122449 Now we don't leave the house without praying over each other. 253 00:18:29,326.122449 --> 00:18:31,876.122449 I'm working on him with the Bible study. 254 00:18:32,266.122449 --> 00:18:34,966.122449 Just the personal one-on-one Bible study though. 255 00:18:35,956.122449 --> 00:18:37,966.122449 But I'm staying in my lane. 256 00:18:38,566.122449 --> 00:18:40,276.122449 And we'll take the crumbs off. 257 00:18:40,606.122449 --> 00:18:48,86.122449 Praying together on couple's life group, which is like a group Bible study that my church have. 258 00:18:49,376.122449 --> 00:18:50,966.122449 I'm just going to wait on God. 259 00:18:51,596.122449 --> 00:18:58,196.122449 Praying that he will work on M on the importance of couples, Bible study. 260 00:18:59,6.122449 --> 00:19:01,886.122449 I'm so grateful that we're now praying together. 261 00:19:02,486.122449 --> 00:19:07,796.122449 But I just want to get into the Bible within, you know, get into song of Solomon. 262 00:19:09,266.122449 --> 00:19:09,806.122449 Shh. 263 00:19:10,166.122449 --> 00:19:11,126.122449 Don't tell him though. 264 00:19:11,126.122449 --> 00:19:13,226.122449 Don't tell him I'm praying over him. 265 00:19:13,376.122449 --> 00:19:15,566.122449 Um, massage and stuff like, mm. 266 00:19:16,286.122449 --> 00:19:17,636.122449 We going to get there. 267 00:19:19,506.122449 --> 00:19:26,526.122449 Ephesians 5 25 through 28 talks about husband and wives and how we're called to love each other. 268 00:19:26,526.122449 --> 00:19:30,216.122449 Sacrificially just as Christ loved the church. 269 00:19:30,726.122449 --> 00:19:33,336.122449 This idea of sacrificial love. 270 00:19:33,876.122449 --> 00:19:36,276.122449 It's quite foreign to many of you. 271 00:19:36,276.122449 --> 00:19:40,506.122449 And actually I think is quite lost on us culturally. 272 00:19:41,196.122449 --> 00:19:47,796.122449 I have seen divorce forge in myths of illnesses and that made my heart. 273 00:19:48,126.122449 --> 00:19:48,576.122449 Ache. 274 00:19:49,266.122449 --> 00:19:51,906.122449 What exactly is sacrificial love. 275 00:19:52,486.122449 --> 00:19:56,296.122449 In today's world of ease and maximum waste. 276 00:19:56,566.122449 --> 00:19:58,996.122449 And dependence on social media. 277 00:19:59,836.122449 --> 00:20:02,176.122449 What exactly is sacrificial love. 278 00:20:03,16.122449 --> 00:20:08,806.122449 Jesus gave the best example when he died for you and died for me. 279 00:20:09,166.122449 --> 00:20:14,146.122449 It's beyond comprehension, my imagination, the suffering. 280 00:20:14,716.122449 --> 00:20:17,566.122449 Considering the jerk in pain and screech. 281 00:20:17,566.122449 --> 00:20:19,936.122449 When I stubbed my toes on a furniture. 282 00:20:20,636.122449 --> 00:20:26,696.122449 No, I think we truly fail to comprehend on that level. 283 00:20:26,726.122449 --> 00:20:28,76.122449 What God did. 284 00:20:28,436.122449 --> 00:20:29,666.122449 For us. 285 00:20:30,446.122449 --> 00:20:34,136.122449 Sacrificial love isn't about one person serving another. 286 00:20:34,706.122449 --> 00:20:38,636.122449 What about mutual love, respect and understanding. 287 00:20:39,356.122449 --> 00:20:45,806.122449 Imagine if your approach to intimacy was grounded in this type of self giving love. 288 00:20:46,166.122449 --> 00:20:50,696.122449 We're both partners feel valued, cherished, and seen. 289 00:20:51,246.122449 --> 00:20:55,476.122449 Each person downright just eager to please the other. 290 00:20:56,376.122449 --> 00:20:57,456.122449 Sometimes. 291 00:20:58,116.122449 --> 00:21:00,606.122449 Reconnect and requires a bit of courage though. 292 00:21:01,416.122449 --> 00:21:08,526.122449 It can feel vulnerable to express your needs, especially if they've gone unspoken for years. 293 00:21:08,946.122449 --> 00:21:13,986.122449 But as I've always said, Communication is key. 294 00:21:14,886.122449 --> 00:21:19,326.122449 Try talking openly with your partner about what feels good. 295 00:21:19,746.122449 --> 00:21:32,116.122449 What feels safe and what you both desire in this season of life? And remember that seasons change, right? So what worked. 296 00:21:32,896.122449 --> 00:21:35,266.122449 Five years ago or 10 years ago. 297 00:21:35,686.122449 --> 00:21:37,156.122449 It's different now. 298 00:21:38,56.122449 --> 00:21:46,96.122449 And let's not forget that God cares about your joy, even in these deeply personal aspects of life. 299 00:21:46,486.122449 --> 00:21:55,126.122449 He delights in your closeness with one another, especially when that closeness is rooted in love and faith. 300 00:21:55,826.122449 --> 00:22:01,916.122449 Sister friends, honoring intimacy as part of your spiritual life is normal. 301 00:22:02,426.122449 --> 00:22:06,116.122449 It has been a part of the norm for long before your time. 302 00:22:06,446.122449 --> 00:22:08,66.122449 And we'll continue. 303 00:22:08,456.122449 --> 00:22:19,436.122449 Long after you are gone, solo Solomon is an invitation to admire what God has created your body and the body of your spouse. 304 00:22:20,156.122449 --> 00:22:23,366.122449 When you have you intimacy as part of your spiritual life. 305 00:22:23,816.122449 --> 00:22:25,916.122449 It becomes a way to honor God. 306 00:22:26,276.122449 --> 00:22:35,636.122449 Your partners and yourselves Psalm 1 39 14 says I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. 307 00:22:36,426.122449 --> 00:22:46,146.122449 This doesn't just apply to how we are created physically, but also how we are made to love and connect with one another. 308 00:22:47,16.122449 --> 00:22:50,436.122449 Incorporating faith into your intimate lives. 309 00:22:50,706.122449 --> 00:22:53,676.122449 It doesn't mean we ignore the reality of the struggles. 310 00:22:54,36.122449 --> 00:23:01,836.122449 It means you're bringing your struggles to God trust in that he is present with you in every moment. 311 00:23:02,526.122449 --> 00:23:05,946.122449 Whether it's dealing with the insecurities of aging. 312 00:23:06,276.122449 --> 00:23:11,246.122449 The fear of phone or ability, or even a lack of sexual desire. 313 00:23:11,756.122449 --> 00:23:15,716.122449 God meets us where we are. 314 00:23:16,16.122449 --> 00:23:19,436.122449 He will meet you where you are. 315 00:23:20,576.122449 --> 00:23:24,146.122449 I encourage you to take some time after this episode to reflect. 316 00:23:24,476.122449 --> 00:23:28,826.122449 On how you might bring your faith into your intimate life. 317 00:23:29,426.122449 --> 00:23:30,926.122449 Maybe it's through prayer. 318 00:23:31,436.122449 --> 00:23:33,866.122449 Maybe it's through practicing gratitude. 319 00:23:34,286.122449 --> 00:23:43,766.122449 Or maybe simply by talking to God about your hopes and fears in this area, dealing with sex and intimacy. 320 00:23:45,56.122449 --> 00:23:46,166.122449 Some of you ladies. 321 00:23:46,196.122449 --> 00:23:46,946.122449 I know. 322 00:23:47,186.122449 --> 00:23:49,16.122449 You have been through trauma. 323 00:23:49,286.122449 --> 00:23:53,786.122449 Childhood trauma, sexual trauma, whatever it may be. 324 00:23:54,566.122449 --> 00:23:56,276.122449 God understands. 325 00:23:56,886.122449 --> 00:24:06,966.122449 And in facing your past issues and pains and all the things that you may have gone through that is hindering you now. 326 00:24:07,746.122449 --> 00:24:10,236.122449 Only God can bring you through that. 327 00:24:10,896.122449 --> 00:24:16,446.122449 Don't expect your partner to know what is going on or what's happened. 328 00:24:16,746.122449 --> 00:24:21,456.122449 Or to be able to relate to the child in you from back then. 329 00:24:21,996.122449 --> 00:24:24,516.122449 This occurred many years ago. 330 00:24:27,576.122449 --> 00:24:29,766.122449 Again, God. 331 00:24:30,246.122449 --> 00:24:35,376.122449 Can help you through your fears in dealing with sex and intimacy. 332 00:24:35,856.122449 --> 00:24:39,216.122449 Trust that he hears you and is with you. 333 00:24:39,996.122449 --> 00:24:43,986.122449 Nothing and I mean, nothing is ever done. 334 00:24:44,406.122449 --> 00:24:45,396.122449 In the dark. 335 00:24:46,416.122449 --> 00:24:48,276.122449 God sees everything. 336 00:24:49,746.122449 --> 00:24:51,666.122449 I have heard from some of you. 337 00:24:52,206.122449 --> 00:24:53,436.122449 Some offer. 338 00:24:54,6.122449 --> 00:25:05,66.122449 Insecurities and issues you face when other ladies, you know, run around practically naked, leaving nothing to the imagination. 339 00:25:06,416.122449 --> 00:25:11,696.122449 Poor males wondering as you think go into and fro like a tennis match. 340 00:25:12,116.122449 --> 00:25:12,656.122449 What. 341 00:25:13,46.122449 --> 00:25:16,106.122449 Are there eyes wondering just to reflex. 342 00:25:17,276.122449 --> 00:25:24,356.122449 Honestly though, you know, you look too, but more in disbelief, like what the ham sandwich. 343 00:25:24,686.122449 --> 00:25:29,376.122449 Is she really wearing that? Oh, wait a minute. 344 00:25:30,6.122449 --> 00:25:31,476.122449 I might talking about you. 345 00:25:31,716.122449 --> 00:25:35,526.122449 Could it be that you're the one who were aware in these sexually. 346 00:25:35,946.122449 --> 00:25:42,396.122449 Seductive clothing out there where it's, uh, like you can see everything. 347 00:25:43,146.122449 --> 00:25:44,436.122449 I'm talking about you. 348 00:25:46,686.122449 --> 00:25:48,606.122449 Well, if I am. 349 00:25:50,946.122449 --> 00:25:55,266.122449 Other folks hobby are looking, and I know the response. 350 00:25:55,626.122449 --> 00:25:57,876.122449 Nothing personal, no judgment. 351 00:25:57,876.122449 --> 00:25:58,146.122449 Here. 352 00:25:58,146.122449 --> 00:26:04,176.122449 We are talking about faith and the distractions that are out there for mates. 353 00:26:04,656.122449 --> 00:26:09,966.122449 And it's not just the men or looking, the woman are looking too, but. 354 00:26:11,676.122449 --> 00:26:16,626.122449 I'm going to have to leave some of this to your own imagination or leave some of this for. 355 00:26:16,926.122449 --> 00:26:18,396.122449 Your own conclusion. 356 00:26:18,786.122449 --> 00:26:19,176.122449 But. 357 00:26:20,186.122449 --> 00:26:20,726.122449 Like. 358 00:26:21,897.4557823 --> 00:26:23,667.4557823 Like you could see the nipple edge. 359 00:26:23,667.4557823 --> 00:26:28,137.4557823 You could see the F everything, the Puffin, the front. 360 00:26:29,37.4557823 --> 00:26:30,867.4557823 It's like, oh my gosh. 361 00:26:32,367.4557823 --> 00:26:32,967.4557823 Right. 362 00:26:33,717.4557823 --> 00:26:35,847.4557823 So if he's looking. 363 00:26:36,927.4557823 --> 00:26:50,817.4557823 What is it truly? Is it like a car accident on a rainy or snowy day slowing down to gaze at really what happened and praying that they survived the crash or, or. 364 00:26:51,537.4557823 --> 00:26:55,827.4557823 Is there something missing in the bedroom and the brains are wondering. 365 00:26:56,877.4557823 --> 00:26:57,897.4557823 What if. 366 00:26:58,917.4557823 --> 00:27:00,957.4557823 You have to speak with your hubby. 367 00:27:01,827.4557823 --> 00:27:03,867.4557823 There are no shortcuts to this one. 368 00:27:04,347.4557823 --> 00:27:07,497.4557823 No one can do it for you either. 369 00:27:07,947.4557823 --> 00:27:09,567.4557823 You just have to have a chat. 370 00:27:11,67.4557823 --> 00:27:12,297.4557823 I am amazed. 371 00:27:12,657.4557823 --> 00:27:18,567.4557823 I have to admit at some of the things that are worn as clothing. 372 00:27:19,827.4557823 --> 00:27:20,877.4557823 The imprints. 373 00:27:21,207.4557823 --> 00:27:22,527.4557823 You can see everything. 374 00:27:23,547.4557823 --> 00:27:26,457.4557823 Again, What the ham sandwich. 375 00:27:28,17.4557823 --> 00:27:37,377.4557823 So, so Fred, I want to leave you with a reminder that you are beloved, that you are seen and that you are beautiful. 376 00:27:37,377.4557823 --> 00:27:40,377.4557823 We design for love and connection. 377 00:27:40,977.4557823 --> 00:27:44,757.4557823 Rediscovering intimacy through faith is a journey. 378 00:27:44,757.4557823 --> 00:27:51,717.4557823 One that unfolds uniquely for each of us, for each of you. 379 00:27:52,537.4557823 --> 00:27:55,747.4557823 Allow yourself to lean on God's guidance. 380 00:27:56,47.4557823 --> 00:28:02,617.4557823 And give yourself grace to explore this area of life in a way that feels true. 381 00:28:03,457.4557823 --> 00:28:04,447.4557823 To you. 382 00:28:05,647.4557823 --> 00:28:06,577.4557823 Granted. 383 00:28:07,357.4557823 --> 00:28:15,517.4557823 This is one of those topics that you have to warm yourself up to talking to God about sex and intimacy. 384 00:28:16,147.4557823 --> 00:28:17,287.4557823 It's okay. 385 00:28:18,127.4557823 --> 00:28:23,287.4557823 Thank you for joining me in this honest, heartfelt conversation. 386 00:28:23,887.4557823 --> 00:28:26,347.4557823 May you walk away feeling empowered. 387 00:28:26,677.4557823 --> 00:28:27,487.4557823 And courage. 388 00:28:27,817.4557823 --> 00:28:33,187.4557823 And opened to the blessings of intimacy that God has in store for you. 389 00:28:36,277.4557823 --> 00:28:44,587.4557823 Well, sister, friend, I know you have choices, so I thank you for tuning into Intimacy After podcast. 390 00:28:45,7.4557823 --> 00:28:53,557.4557823 You may subscribe for bimonthly alerts or stay in the know by visiting my website@queenquanta.com. 391 00:28:53,797.4557823 --> 00:28:57,942.4557823 That's Queen Q-U-A-N-T a.com. 392 00:28:58,712.4557823 --> 00:29:07,117.4557823 Until next time, remember, a life without Intimacy is like your favorite meal without salt. 393 00:29:07,972.4557823 --> 00:29:10,592.4557823 Ladies, let's spice it up. 394 00:29:11,92.4557823 --> 00:29:14,382.4557823 Life is beautiful, and God is awesome. 395 00:29:14,952.4557823 --> 00:29:17,897.2937823 This is Queen, signing out.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.