October 10, 2024 • 35 mins
This enlightening episode of 'Intimacy After' focus on the impact of Erectile Dysfunction (ED) on both partners. Queen discusses causes of ED, including physical, psychological, and lifestyle factors, and emphasizes that female partners are not to blame. She provides insights into rekindling intimacy beyond traditional expectations and encourages listeners to address ED issues together with their partners, highlighting emotional, relational impacts, and potential treatments, while also cautioning against unverified remedies. Tune-in for this fun, informative episode!
00:00 Welcome to Intimacy After 01:03 Introduction to Erectile Dysfunction 03:04 Understanding Erectile Dysfunction 05:37 Causes of Erectile Dysfunction 11:26 Emotional and Relationship Impact 20:39 Rekindling Intimacy Beyond the Bedroom 26:07 Seeking Professional Help 33:48 Final Thoughts and Farewell
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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(00:05):
Hello and welcome.
.999This is Intimacy After, a podcast for mature women facing intimacy issues from various causes.
Please know you are not alone.
It is time to stop suffering in silence.
On this podcast, we give hope that through practice of simple steps and proven tips, you can improve intimacy and resurrect your love life.
(00:33):
Break free, learn to laugh again, to play again, to be happy, to love and know that you are loved.
I am your host, Queen.
Come on inside. 9 00:00:49,156.12244898 --> 00:00:56,266.12244898 Hey sister friend, welcome inside to another episode of intimacy after. 10 00:00:56,596.12244898 --> 00:00:58,516.12244898 I missed you last week. 11 00:00:58,756.12244898 --> 00:01:03,106.12244898 My voice was just not behaving, but I'm back. 12 00:01:03,556.12244898 --> 00:01:07,696.12244898 There's been some reference to erectile dysfunction, also called ed. 13 00:01:07,996.12244898 --> 00:01:15,946.12244898 In my past podcast and a few questions regarding partners who are affected by ed also came to light. 14 00:01:16,336.12244898 --> 00:01:23,326.12244898 So today we're going to navigate the waters of erectile dysfunction and how it impacts. 15 00:01:23,656.12244898 --> 00:01:29,896.12244898 Both partners in the first couple of podcasts, I reviewed how I became interested. 16 00:01:30,256.12244898 --> 00:01:33,466.12244898 In this area of intimacy after. 17 00:01:33,856.12244898 --> 00:01:35,806.12244898 Various life changes. 18 00:01:36,286.12244898 --> 00:01:37,906.12244898 As a radiation oncologist. 19 00:01:38,266.12244898 --> 00:01:41,326.12244898 That's a physician who treats cancer with radiation. 20 00:01:41,866.12244898 --> 00:01:52,666.12244898 In follow up with my female patients, they mentioned how they felt left out regarding intimacy in the post cancer survivorship setting. 21 00:01:53,476.12244898 --> 00:01:58,126.12244898 There have been commercials in support of men regaining their stamina. 22 00:01:58,576.12244898 --> 00:02:02,206.12244898 Regaining their identity and functionality. 23 00:02:02,926.12244898 --> 00:02:09,946.12244898 The focus appears to be on how the male counterparts feel when they are. 24 00:02:10,306.12244898 --> 00:02:12,136.12244898 Unable to perform. 25 00:02:12,406.12244898 --> 00:02:16,276.12244898 An able to satisfy self and or others. 26 00:02:16,666.12244898 --> 00:02:22,336.12244898 But what about the female partners? It may or may not be an issue again. 27 00:02:22,636.12244898 --> 00:02:26,146.12244898 Depending on the baseline of your relationship. 28 00:02:26,536.12244898 --> 00:02:32,746.12244898 How, however, that's not to say that things cannot change for better. 29 00:02:33,136.12244898 --> 00:02:44,566.12244898 If facing erectile dysfunction, ed, there may be opportunities to explore together as a couple different and various ways. 30 00:02:44,836.12244898 --> 00:02:46,336.12244898 Of intimacy. 31 00:02:46,846.12244898 --> 00:02:48,826.12244898 That may benefits. 32 00:02:49,96.12244898 --> 00:02:51,286.12244898 You also sister, friend. 33 00:02:51,736.12244898 --> 00:03:19,396.12244898 Is it possible to have an interest in the outcome of treatment for erectile dysfunction as a female? Is it selfish to want more? Before going any further, let's have a basic understanding of what ed actually is because there's been some finger pointing and some concept that's proven to be just not true. 34 00:03:19,576.12244898 --> 00:03:26,686.12244898 So we have to just step back a little bit before we get any deeper. 35 00:03:27,526.12244898 --> 00:03:34,726.12244898 Have you ever had that talk though? Like how to chat with your mates about what erectile dysfunction. 36 00:03:34,996.12244898 --> 00:03:50,126.12244898 E D actually is, there are lots of information out there, but it's time to bring it in and talk about what ed is and how it affects, not just him, but also you. 37 00:03:50,606.12244898 --> 00:03:55,196.12244898 So what exactly is erectile dysfunction? Before we talk about that. 38 00:03:55,406.12244898 --> 00:04:02,606.12244898 Have you ever considered how the penis actually function? I know, right. 39 00:04:02,906.12244898 --> 00:04:09,26.12244898 We are going to go back to this anatomy 1 0 1 before we can talk about. 40 00:04:09,596.12244898 --> 00:04:14,6.12244898 The blame game or how this happened or who's at fault, we need to know. 41 00:04:14,6.12244898 --> 00:04:29,436.12244898 Well, how does a penis actually become erect? Let's talk about this, the common and easiest way that I typically explain to my male patients when discussing the effects of cancer treatment. 42 00:04:29,736.12244898 --> 00:04:31,536.12244898 On the erection function. 43 00:04:32,166.12244898 --> 00:04:34,806.12244898 Is that there are two parts to have an interaction. 44 00:04:35,586.12244898 --> 00:04:45,66.12244898 One, there are nerves that run on either side of the prostate, to the penis that is responsible for waking up the penis. 45 00:04:45,126.12244898 --> 00:04:47,376.12244898 If you will, when aroused. 46 00:04:48,126.12244898 --> 00:04:50,106.12244898 It remains flacid. 47 00:04:50,526.12244898 --> 00:04:59,826.12244898 Secondly, the blood then flow into the penis to make it firm enough for intercourse or interaction. 48 00:05:00,526.12244898 --> 00:05:09,46.12244898 So that means anything that affect these major players will therefore affects erection and lead to dysfunction. 49 00:05:09,286.12244898 --> 00:05:15,616.12244898 That is the nerves, the blood vessels curvature of the penis itself, et cetera. 50 00:05:16,616.12244898 --> 00:05:26,366.12244898 Erectile dysfunction then occurs when someone has trouble getting are keeping an erection firm enough for sexual activity. 51 00:05:26,756.12244898 --> 00:05:31,466.12244898 It's a common issue, especially for men as they get older. 52 00:05:31,796.12244898 --> 00:05:37,166.12244898 But it can happen to any male at any time for a multitude of reasons. 53 00:05:37,646.12244898 --> 00:05:48,266.12244898 There are several common causes of ed, which typically categorize into physical, psychological, and some others due to lifestyle. 54 00:05:48,656.12244898 --> 00:05:55,586.12244898 Nothing in these common causes include you, my sister friend, because this is a physical thing. 55 00:05:56,36.12244898 --> 00:06:04,226.12244898 You are not to blame, but let's talk about some of these, right? Let's determine which category your mate is in. 56 00:06:04,886.12244898 --> 00:06:07,976.12244898 It could be more than one category as well. 57 00:06:08,226.12244898 --> 00:06:15,156.12244898 I'm going to cover like the three most common umbrella things that's, uh, can affect your mate. 58 00:06:15,336.12244898 --> 00:06:20,946.12244898 So we have physical causes and this include problems with blood flow nerves. 59 00:06:21,276.12244898 --> 00:06:22,446.12244898 Or hormones. 60 00:06:22,696.12244898 --> 00:06:30,16.12244898 Conditions like high blood pressure, which is very common heart disease, which is also very common diabetes. 61 00:06:30,646.12244898 --> 00:06:40,696.12244898 To common and obesity that is on the rise can all make it more difficult to have an erection because they affect blood circulation. 62 00:06:41,26.12244898 --> 00:06:45,926.12244898 So again, there are certain building blocks that causes an erection. 63 00:06:46,76.12244898 --> 00:07:06,476.12244898 What are those building blocks? And when those building blocks are affected, What, and how does it manifest when it comes to erectile dysfunction? The other thing too, is mental health, which plays a big role in E D and is bundled in psychological causes. 64 00:07:07,206.12244898 --> 00:07:13,506.12244898 So when we talk about stress, anxiety, depression, and even relationship problems. 65 00:07:13,866.12244898 --> 00:07:19,114.47845805 Can interfere with how brain sends that signal body for sexual activity. 66 00:07:19,234.47845805 --> 00:07:25,564.47845805 So if any of those things is affecting mind, Then mind is not connecting to say, Hey, get aroused, have an erection. 67 00:07:25,594.47845805 --> 00:07:26,584.47845805 Let's play here. 68 00:07:26,804.47845805 --> 00:07:29,474.47845805 This has been depicted and some movies. 69 00:07:29,864.47845805 --> 00:07:37,154.47845805 If, you know, a couple is in a sexual situation, and let's say this young man is overly overjoyed. 70 00:07:37,394.47845805 --> 00:07:41,864.47845805 That is finally getting to meet this lovely lady. 71 00:07:41,864.47845805 --> 00:07:43,484.47845805 And in his excitement. 72 00:07:44,264.47845805 --> 00:07:48,194.47845805 The pressure for performance become an issue. 73 00:07:48,464.47845805 --> 00:07:53,114.47845805 And the male is unable to achieve an erection due to that stressor. 74 00:07:53,444.47845805 --> 00:08:13,304.47845805 And this is shown in the movie as, you know, the guy being embarrassed by the lack of the ability to function, but eventually that comes around and he settles down, et cetera is the same thing that can be going on in some of our mostly younger males when they're having these. 75 00:08:13,364.47845805 --> 00:08:19,454.47845805 Psychological issues that's affecting their ability to function. 76 00:08:19,454.47845805 --> 00:08:47,704.47845805 Then they're also lifestyle factors, which include such choices as smoking, too much alcohol using drugs or not getting enough exercise among other things that can lead to and cause problems with erection, right? These habits can hurt your mate's body's ability to have that healthy blood flow or affect the hormone levels. 77 00:08:47,944.47845805 --> 00:08:56,134.47845805 And this is going to manifest has an ability to have that erection necessary for penetration and sexual function. 78 00:08:57,64.47845805 --> 00:09:07,924.47845805 Understanding these causes helps people and can help you find the right treatments or changes they can make to improve the situation. 79 00:09:09,94.47845805 --> 00:09:14,254.47845805 No one likes to feel like they are alone when going through any issues. 80 00:09:14,674.47845805 --> 00:09:29,884.47845805 So though many prefer not to discuss this topic, it is important to realize just how common this condition truly is for my international listeners, global prevalence of erectile dysfunction. 81 00:09:30,154.47845805 --> 00:09:35,14.47845805 Is estimated to be over 150 million worldwide. 82 00:09:35,314.47845805 --> 00:09:38,884.47845805 Which is expected to double by 2025. 83 00:09:39,614.47845805 --> 00:09:50,84.47845805 Some of you may not be good with numbers or like numbers, but when you hear 150 million and you are one that goes to show how common it truly is. 84 00:09:50,564.47845805 --> 00:09:57,434.47845805 In the United States, about 13 million men are affected by erectile dysfunction. 85 00:09:57,594.47845805 --> 00:10:07,584.47845805 For age-related prevalence of ed men in their forties, around 40% of them experienced some form of erectile dysfunction. 86 00:10:08,34.47845805 --> 00:10:10,944.47845805 That's a lot of men facing these issues. 87 00:10:11,64.47845805 --> 00:10:11,574.47845805 Yes. 88 00:10:11,934.47845805 --> 00:10:16,704.47845805 Approximately 40% of men in their forties, like, wow. 89 00:10:17,124.47845805 --> 00:10:21,714.47845805 Unfortunately, the numbers continue to increase with age. 90 00:10:22,164.47845805 --> 00:10:29,444.47845805 And so plus, or minus a few percentage, but men in their sixties, about 60% of them are having issues. 91 00:10:29,744.47845805 --> 00:10:36,524.47845805 Men age 70 and up, up to 70% of them are facing erectile dysfunction in some capacity. 92 00:10:36,824.47845805 --> 00:10:46,94.47845805 To bring it down to, um, easy to understand term if you know, 10 men who are in their seventies. 93 00:10:46,394.47845805 --> 00:10:51,24.47845805 Seven or more of them having problems with erection. 94 00:10:51,174.47845805 --> 00:10:51,714.47845805 So. 95 00:10:52,524.47845805 --> 00:10:54,414.47845805 It's a big deal. 96 00:10:54,504.47845805 --> 00:10:54,834.47845805 Right. 97 00:10:54,894.47845805 --> 00:10:58,44.47845805 A room full of men in their forties. 98 00:10:58,674.47845805 --> 00:11:02,304.47845805 Four out of 10 of them are ready, starting to have issues. 99 00:11:02,484.47845805 --> 00:11:10,104.47845805 So the numbers may be startling to some, especially if you're listening and you're not currently facing any such issue. 100 00:11:11,4.47845805 --> 00:11:13,764.47845805 I recommend you enjoy your mate. 101 00:11:14,34.47845805 --> 00:11:16,344.47845805 For as long as you can. 102 00:11:17,724.47845805 --> 00:11:18,414.47845805 Oh boy. 103 00:11:19,464.47845805 --> 00:11:25,584.47845805 Got to have fun with this is a serious matter, but it's not all on you. 104 00:11:26,244.47845805 --> 00:11:36,384.47845805 With such startling numbers and starting as early as in the forties, many couples are facing erectile dysfunction issues. 105 00:11:36,774.47845805 --> 00:11:44,394.47845805 And it may be that each of you just go to your own corner, not acknowledging or addressing the issue. 106 00:11:44,754.47845805 --> 00:11:45,234.47845805 Right. 107 00:11:45,864.47845805 --> 00:11:48,984.47845805 Oh, that's his issue or his problem. 108 00:11:49,104.47845805 --> 00:11:53,694.47845805 You may be thinking, but you will find that he may just be urine in. 109 00:11:53,934.47845805 --> 00:12:00,714.47845805 To talk to you about it and find out how you may feel about erectile dysfunction. 110 00:12:01,104.47845805 --> 00:12:03,984.47845805 It may matter greatly to you, or it may not. 111 00:12:04,374.47845805 --> 00:12:09,54.47845805 But one thing is for sure it matters immensely to him. 112 00:12:09,804.47845805 --> 00:12:11,64.47845805 Talk about it. 113 00:12:11,664.47845805 --> 00:12:23,634.47845805 Another thing I found out too, was that, uh, there are some men who are so embarrassed and not wanting to talk about it, that they will abstain from sexual intercourse. 114 00:12:23,634.47845805 --> 00:12:26,64.47845805 They will abstain from touching you. 115 00:12:26,244.47845805 --> 00:12:28,644.47845805 So you don't know what's going on. 116 00:12:29,64.47845805 --> 00:12:32,604.47845805 You have to talk to him about what's going on. 117 00:12:33,24.47845805 --> 00:12:35,694.47845805 Do say something like, Hey, babe. 118 00:12:36,864.47845805 --> 00:12:37,704.47845805 It's been a week. 119 00:12:38,154.47845805 --> 00:12:40,764.47845805 A month, two months, six months a year. 120 00:12:42,24.47845805 --> 00:12:43,194.47845805 What's going on. 121 00:12:43,614.47845805 --> 00:12:49,64.47845805 Are you experienced in erectile dysfunction? Uncomfortable conversation. 122 00:12:49,154.47845805 --> 00:12:53,204.47845805 I know, but it's conversations that need to be had. 123 00:12:53,864.47845805 --> 00:13:02,834.47845805 Because of this erectile dysfunction can significantly impact your relationships and intimacy through many ways. 124 00:13:03,284.47845805 --> 00:13:05,54.47845805 Let's talk about a few here. 125 00:13:05,54.47845805 --> 00:13:17,234.47845805 The emotional strain of the elephant in the room where couples often experience stress, frustration, and a decrease in sexual satisfaction, maybe. 126 00:13:17,864.47845805 --> 00:13:25,274.47845805 When y'all first got together, it was toe curling, great sex and everything was fantastic. 127 00:13:25,274.47845805 --> 00:13:29,894.47845805 And the ripping off of the clothes, then it became so, so. 128 00:13:30,404.47845805 --> 00:13:33,224.47845805 And then non-existence or. 129 00:13:33,764.47845805 --> 00:13:34,574.47845805 War. 130 00:13:35,84.47845805 --> 00:13:36,284.47845805 It may have been. 131 00:13:36,344.47845805 --> 00:13:41,444.47845805 So, so in the beginning, Or non-existent to begin with. 132 00:13:41,894.47845805 --> 00:13:48,494.47845805 Regardless of where you were erectile dysfunction can lead to decrease intimacy. 133 00:13:48,824.47845805 --> 00:13:52,334.47845805 And decrease emotional connection between you and your mate. 134 00:13:52,544.47845805 --> 00:14:00,494.47845805 Sometimes the decrease in connection is purely because of his self-consciousness about the issue. 135 00:14:00,994.47845805 --> 00:14:04,534.47845805 For some of my more seasoned listeners. 136 00:14:04,714.47845805 --> 00:14:09,634.47845805 Who are in their seventies and eighties, you may have. 137 00:14:10,24.47845805 --> 00:14:19,444.47845805 Been through a relationship before and is now on your second or third marriage and you have made it known that, okay, I'm in this relationship. 138 00:14:19,984.47845805 --> 00:14:25,624.47845805 Just for companionship, right? Sexual intercourse is not required. 139 00:14:25,684.47845805 --> 00:14:29,314.47845805 However, keep listening because I will get into. 140 00:14:29,854.47845805 --> 00:14:34,264.47845805 Portions of intimacy that may not include intercourse. 141 00:14:34,564.47845805 --> 00:14:41,944.47845805 So even though you're having this friendship, Holding off the hands may be all you want. 142 00:14:42,574.47845805 --> 00:14:43,204.47845805 But. 143 00:14:43,984.47845805 --> 00:14:46,144.47845805 It could get a little bit better. 144 00:14:46,504.47845805 --> 00:14:48,154.47845805 Keep listening. 145 00:14:48,934.47845805 --> 00:14:50,164.47845805 Another thing though. 146 00:14:50,554.47845805 --> 00:15:01,4.47845805 Is that communication challenges can become even more magnified June this time of sexual issues due to erectile dysfunction. 147 00:15:01,274.47845805 --> 00:15:12,554.47845805 Some couples may avoid discussing the issue, which can exacerbate feelings of isolation or misunderstanding, and sometimes the smallest thing. 148 00:15:12,794.47845805 --> 00:15:28,844.47845805 The smallest issues or misunderstanding may get blown out of proportion simply because of the underlying erectile dysfunction problem that he may be facing, then that you may or may not be aware of. 149 00:15:30,14.47845805 --> 00:15:37,664.47845805 I may be wrong, but there is nothing worse than being in a relationship and feeling isolated from your mate. 150 00:15:38,244.47845805 --> 00:15:43,914.47845805 For my younger listeners or for those who are seeking to find their soulmate. 151 00:15:44,214.47845805 --> 00:15:49,194.47845805 I have to pause right here and let you know, I don't believe in soulmate. 152 00:15:49,704.47845805 --> 00:15:56,694.47845805 I am my own soulmate and my hubby is the whipped cream and cherry on top. 153 00:15:57,114.47845805 --> 00:16:05,484.47845805 One thing I know for sure is that you have to be okay with yourself first, before being able to build a relationship. 154 00:16:05,754.47845805 --> 00:16:07,644.47845805 It's foundational. 155 00:16:07,924.47845805 --> 00:16:10,624.47845805 But that's for another podcast. 156 00:16:10,984.47845805 --> 00:16:12,934.47845805 All that to say what you already know. 157 00:16:13,384.47845805 --> 00:16:17,344.47845805 The relationship and bond in a marriage is very important. 158 00:16:17,794.47845805 --> 00:16:22,774.47845805 You are doing life with another human in close proximity. 159 00:16:23,554.47845805 --> 00:16:25,144.47845805 It matters. 160 00:16:25,844.47845805 --> 00:16:28,274.47845805 If not discussed and attended to. 161 00:16:28,694.47845805 --> 00:16:32,24.47845805 Erectile dysfunction can lead to relational breakdown. 162 00:16:32,354.47845805 --> 00:16:36,194.47845805 In some cases, ed can lead to reduce quality of life. 163 00:16:36,224.47845805 --> 00:16:40,814.4784581 And if left on treated like a disease like cancer. 164 00:16:40,814.4784581 --> 00:16:48,704.4784581 It will contribute to relationship conflicts or even separation and death of a relationship through divorce. 165 00:16:49,634.4784581 --> 00:16:51,344.4784581 Uh, therefore sister, friend. 166 00:16:51,914.4784581 --> 00:16:56,474.4784581 Treatment is important and treatment typically include counseling. 167 00:16:57,14.4784581 --> 00:16:59,834.4784581 Some level of self realization. 168 00:17:00,464.4784581 --> 00:17:01,394.4784581 Hers. 169 00:17:01,844.4784581 --> 00:17:09,794.4784581 Open communications are critical and a good start to address in this erectile dysfunction issue and its effects. 170 00:17:10,184.4784581 --> 00:17:11,444.4784581 On intimacy. 171 00:17:11,634.4784581 --> 00:17:15,264.4784581 The emotional impact on her, on you. 172 00:17:15,504.4784581 --> 00:17:25,104.4784581 Is often overlooked ed can have a profound, emotional impact on the female partner in a relationship and many women like yourself. 173 00:17:25,404.4784581 --> 00:17:27,774.4784581 Makes appearance feelings of rejection. 174 00:17:28,104.4784581 --> 00:17:29,304.4784581 Self-blame. 175 00:17:29,784.4784581 --> 00:17:31,704.4784581 And even insecurity. 176 00:17:32,574.4784581 --> 00:17:42,534.4784581 You may wonder if you are no longer attractive or if you did something wrong to cause your partner's difficulties. 177 00:17:42,844.4784581 --> 00:17:45,784.4784581 Yes, sadly, I have heard it all. 178 00:17:46,24.4784581 --> 00:17:49,534.4784581 And sometimes it's all because of ignorance. 179 00:17:49,594.4784581 --> 00:17:49,984.4784581 Right. 180 00:17:50,194.4784581 --> 00:17:55,404.4784581 And ignorance implementing because he doesn't know what's causing this. 181 00:17:55,764.4784581 --> 00:17:56,364.4784581 So. 182 00:17:56,724.4784581 --> 00:18:00,114.4784581 He may blame you because you gained weight. 183 00:18:00,144.4784581 --> 00:18:09,564.4784581 You may have cut off your hair or some other change that is different from when you first met 10, 15, 25 plus years ago. 184 00:18:09,564.4784581 --> 00:18:09,954.4784581 Like. 185 00:18:10,314.4784581 --> 00:18:11,244.4784581 C'mon now. 186 00:18:12,84.4784581 --> 00:18:19,764.4784581 That is on a susceptible to use that as some kind of gauge as to why he may be having erectile dysfunction. 187 00:18:20,424.4784581 --> 00:18:24,654.4784581 I typically remind some of my patients that the only thing constant. 188 00:18:25,14.4784581 --> 00:18:26,94.4784581 Is change. 189 00:18:26,364.4784581 --> 00:18:29,874.4784581 And that includes the human body as well. 190 00:18:29,874.4784581 --> 00:18:39,204.4784581 But these thoughts of blame can lead to a sense of inadequacy and affair that the relationship may deteriorate as one woman shared. 191 00:18:39,804.4784581 --> 00:18:42,474.4784581 I couldn't help, but feel it was my fault. 192 00:18:42,864.4784581 --> 00:18:47,214.4784581 I thought he was no longer attracted to me and it hurt deeply. 193 00:18:48,504.4784581 --> 00:18:51,144.4784581 Sister friend, if he's staying away. 194 00:18:51,684.4784581 --> 00:18:53,754.4784581 It could be for multiple reasons. 195 00:18:54,504.4784581 --> 00:18:56,184.4784581 And that won't go into that. 196 00:18:56,424.4784581 --> 00:18:58,554.4784581 We're all detectives at heart. 197 00:18:59,34.4784581 --> 00:19:02,754.4784581 But if all else fails, just start with the anatomy. 198 00:19:02,754.4784581 --> 00:19:09,264.4784581 Just start with the basic, could it be erectile dysfunction? Right. 199 00:19:10,434.4784581 --> 00:19:13,254.4784581 And remember his function is not. 200 00:19:13,944.4784581 --> 00:19:15,234.4784581 Based on you. 201 00:19:15,484.4784581 --> 00:19:23,944.4784581 That is why this information is so very important for you to understand the mechanics of his erectile dysfunction. 202 00:19:24,184.4784581 --> 00:19:26,164.4784581 It is outside of you. 203 00:19:26,404.4784581 --> 00:19:28,744.4784581 It is not caused by you. 204 00:19:29,254.4784581 --> 00:19:40,24.4784581 Though I have heard the ridiculous argument of blame saying that well, he had diabetes and other health issues because she cooks that type of food for him. 205 00:19:40,504.4784581 --> 00:19:49,234.4784581 Isn't that the most ridiculous thing ever blaming someone else based on the food that was prepared with love. 206 00:19:49,834.4784581 --> 00:19:50,824.4784581 Instead of blame. 207 00:19:50,854.4784581 --> 00:20:04,864.4784581 How about shopping together or watching a documentary about healthier food options? For some of us, and yes, I said, us purposely, the food we eat is culturally ingrained. 208 00:20:05,44.4784581 --> 00:20:14,194.4784581 How do you talk away? Someone from their barbecue ribs or a double cheeseburger with bacon and fried chicken and jerk chicken and Lavon Mia. 209 00:20:14,464.4784581 --> 00:20:25,494.4784581 And you can add your favorite to the list and don't even go to the desserts, right? Nevertheless, I'm not sure how even to address that ridiculous blame game. 210 00:20:25,974.4784581 --> 00:20:27,444.4784581 She cooked the food. 211 00:20:28,74.4784581 --> 00:20:28,704.4784581 Oh boy. 212 00:20:29,304.4784581 --> 00:20:38,694.4784581 What do you think? Are you to blame? What is a good way to address this issue? Leave me a message would love to hear your input. 213 00:20:39,914.4784581 --> 00:20:48,254.4784581 Well, sister friend, this may sound foreign to you, but it is possible to rekindle intimacy beyond the usual. 214 00:20:49,244.4784581 --> 00:20:56,804.4784581 So let's dive into something sizzling that doesn't require a single bedsheet acrobatic move. 215 00:20:57,584.4784581 --> 00:21:02,804.4784581 I see you out there past cheerleaders in gymnast, you can keep the Palm pumps though. 216 00:21:02,834.4784581 --> 00:21:04,334.4784581 They may come in useful. 217 00:21:05,654.4784581 --> 00:21:06,224.4784581 Yep. 218 00:21:06,254.4784581 --> 00:21:11,234.4784581 We're talking about rekindling intimacy beyond the old, in an ultra routine. 219 00:21:11,744.4784581 --> 00:21:23,174.4784581 Who knew there was an entire universe of closeness outside traditional bed hopping or whatever it was for you living room hopping, kitchen hop in. 220 00:21:23,444.4784581 --> 00:21:26,444.4784581 Backseat of the car hopping airplane upping. 221 00:21:28,514.4784581 --> 00:21:33,644.4784581 Uh, I'm hoping that you were having fun when you were hopping first up. 222 00:21:34,184.4784581 --> 00:21:35,774.4784581 Let's chat about touch. 223 00:21:36,194.4784581 --> 00:21:40,994.4784581 Not just any touch, but the kind that makes your heart do a happy dance. 224 00:21:41,384.4784581 --> 00:21:48,584.4784581 Imagine a central game of tag with massages or a deep dive into tantra. 225 00:21:48,824.4784581 --> 00:21:52,124.4784581 Turn in your living room into a Zen zone. 226 00:21:52,604.4784581 --> 00:21:58,784.4784581 It's not just about where you touch, but how you make the other person feel. 227 00:21:59,324.4784581 --> 00:22:04,874.4784581 It's pretty much the adult version of coloring inside the lines. 228 00:22:05,24.4784581 --> 00:22:05,384.4784581 Now. 229 00:22:06,194.4784581 --> 00:22:17,444.4784581 If you're into more active bonding, why not chat? Chat? Your way into a tango lessons or robe out the yoga mat for some interesting position. 230 00:22:18,314.4784581 --> 00:22:21,344.4784581 Why did they name that position? Downward dog. 231 00:22:21,914.4784581 --> 00:22:22,964.4784581 I always wonder. 232 00:22:23,474.4784581 --> 00:22:25,484.4784581 I never saw a dog doing yoga. 233 00:22:25,664.4784581 --> 00:22:29,474.4784581 Have you? Growing up common. 234 00:22:29,474.4784581 --> 00:22:30,974.4784581 Compensation here. 235 00:22:31,394.4784581 --> 00:22:31,994.4784581 Okay. 236 00:22:32,234.4784581 --> 00:22:32,924.4784581 So. 237 00:22:33,704.4784581 --> 00:22:34,994.4784581 Let's go to the kitchen. 238 00:22:35,754.4784581 --> 00:22:36,714.4784581 Cooking a spice. 239 00:22:36,714.4784581 --> 00:22:47,724.4784581 The dish together might sound cliche, but the playful banter over who chops the tomatoes or the carrots or the salary better is priceless. 240 00:22:47,994.4784581 --> 00:22:51,684.4784581 And you get to taste, test your teamwork. 241 00:22:52,374.4784581 --> 00:22:56,244.4784581 And here's a fun fact from another sex therapist. 242 00:22:57,174.4784581 --> 00:23:01,914.4784581 Intimacy doesn't need a GPS that points only to the bedroom. 243 00:23:02,394.4784581 --> 00:23:04,944.4784581 As we previously talk about hopping around. 244 00:23:05,664.4784581 --> 00:23:15,864.4784581 Dive into sensory delights, like feeling the warmth of each other's skin, getting intoxicated by your partners sent. 245 00:23:16,164.4784581 --> 00:23:22,14.4784581 Listening to each other's heart beat or even indulgent in an intense. 246 00:23:22,404.4784581 --> 00:23:23,964.4784581 No blinking allowed. 247 00:23:24,24.4784581 --> 00:23:26,4.4784581 I gaze in competition. 248 00:23:26,784.4784581 --> 00:23:29,394.4784581 Trust me the giggles you'll share. 249 00:23:29,454.4784581 --> 00:23:30,654.4784581 Try not to blink. 250 00:23:30,684.4784581 --> 00:23:34,554.4784581 We'll connect you in ways you never saw coming. 251 00:23:34,914.4784581 --> 00:23:36,174.4784581 It's just share. 252 00:23:36,294.4784581 --> 00:23:37,134.4784581 Joy. 253 00:23:37,794.4784581 --> 00:23:40,104.4784581 It's playful and it's fun. 254 00:23:40,704.4784581 --> 00:23:41,244.4784581 Right. 255 00:23:41,494.4784581 --> 00:23:50,734.4784581 These playful ventures into the realm of intimacy, help you discover those little islands of connection that aren't reliant on. 256 00:23:50,884.4784581 --> 00:23:53,854.4784581 Anyone's plumbing, working flawlessly. 257 00:23:54,154.4784581 --> 00:24:00,304.4784581 So erectile dysfunction won't even come into the ploy or is an issue. 258 00:24:00,514.4784581 --> 00:24:09,424.4784581 Think of it as a treasure hunt for the census where the real prize is discovering new facets of each other. 259 00:24:09,954.4784581 --> 00:24:10,344.4784581 Now. 260 00:24:10,854.4784581 --> 00:24:12,804.4784581 In these playful. 261 00:24:13,344.4784581 --> 00:24:15,654.4784581 Engagement and endeavors. 262 00:24:16,104.4784581 --> 00:24:21,894.4784581 There may be a time or two where something may not be quite pleasant. 263 00:24:21,894.4784581 --> 00:24:22,884.4784581 You know, just. 264 00:24:23,394.4784581 --> 00:24:24,504.4784581 Simply say, whoa. 265 00:24:24,624.4784581 --> 00:24:25,704.4784581 Oh, oh. 266 00:24:26,394.4784581 --> 00:24:27,834.4784581 That's not going to work, honey. 267 00:24:28,164.4784581 --> 00:24:31,584.4784581 That's not gonna work and then try something else. 268 00:24:31,944.4784581 --> 00:24:39,324.4784581 Never tried to make it too uncomfortable for too long and make it a playful banter. 269 00:24:39,324.4784581 --> 00:24:44,214.4784581 So the moment will just pass and you move on to something else. 270 00:24:44,754.4784581 --> 00:24:59,754.4784581 These shared experiences, not only cultivate a sense of partnership, but also evoke a playful aspect of intimacy that often gets lost in the routine of daily life and phone calls and work. 271 00:24:59,754.4784581 --> 00:24:59,904.4784581 And. 272 00:25:00,324.4784581 --> 00:25:01,254.4784581 Everything else. 273 00:25:01,254.4784581 --> 00:25:03,594.4784581 And it brings you together in a way. 274 00:25:03,894.4784581 --> 00:25:05,964.4784581 That is unbelievable. 275 00:25:06,354.4784581 --> 00:25:08,844.478458 And the bonds just get tighter. 276 00:25:09,944.4784581 --> 00:25:22,664.4784581 Embarking on a journey of exploration together identifies unique preferences and desires that don't necessarily depend on erectile function. 277 00:25:23,444.4784581 --> 00:25:28,844.4784581 Ultimately though sister friend, ultimately these creative detours, aren't just a work around. 278 00:25:29,144.4784581 --> 00:25:33,344.4784581 They're a celebration of your relationships, depth and diversity. 279 00:25:33,554.4784581 --> 00:25:40,214.4784581 It's about layering, the connection with laughter and tenderness and a dash of curiosity. 280 00:25:41,24.4784581 --> 00:25:45,224.4784581 By embracing these adventures, you're signing up for a journey. 281 00:25:45,434.4784581 --> 00:25:50,594.4784581 That's as much about enjoying the ride as it is about reaching. 282 00:25:51,44.4784581 --> 00:25:53,144.4784581 Any particular destination. 283 00:25:53,144.4784581 --> 00:25:53,504.4784581 So. 284 00:25:54,194.4784581 --> 00:25:56,684.4784581 Put on your explorers, hats. 285 00:25:57,254.4784581 --> 00:26:05,144.4784581 And get ready to uncover new territories of love, fueled by Umer and genuine connection. 286 00:26:05,984.4784581 --> 00:26:06,704.4784581 Wrapping it up. 287 00:26:06,734.4784581 --> 00:26:07,184.4784581 Folks. 288 00:26:07,364.4784581 --> 00:26:11,84.4784581 Let's talk about being a dynamic duo when things get tricky. 289 00:26:11,564.4784581 --> 00:26:22,844.4784581 If erectile dysfunction is crashing your party, it's crucial to TAC team with medical professionals in this area to uncover what's really going on my disclaimer. 290 00:26:22,844.4784581 --> 00:26:25,604.4784581 Again, I'm a radiation oncologist by trade. 291 00:26:25,754.4784581 --> 00:26:33,314.4784581 So while I may treat sexual dysfunction caused by cancer treatment, this is not my primary specialty. 292 00:26:33,914.4784581 --> 00:26:44,264.4784581 I do like my male patient cancer survivors to follow up with specialties in that field urologist, they can do much more than I can. 293 00:26:44,414.4784581 --> 00:26:51,134.4784581 I'm limited to pills and suggestion of various pumps, et cetera, but they can go deeper. 294 00:26:51,194.4784581 --> 00:27:00,704.4784581 They can talk about the various mechanics of things and they can discuss various pumps and then graduate to injection at the base of the penis. 295 00:27:00,914.4784581 --> 00:27:02,264.4784581 Just before intercourse. 296 00:27:02,324.4784581 --> 00:27:02,714.4784581 Yes. 297 00:27:02,894.4784581 --> 00:27:04,244.4784581 The needle is super fine though. 298 00:27:04,244.4784581 --> 00:27:05,504.4784581 Like super, super fine. 299 00:27:05,684.4784581 --> 00:27:06,704.4784581 It's like a wire. 300 00:27:07,184.4784581 --> 00:27:09,704.4784581 I've been told it doesn't really hurt much. 301 00:27:10,484.4784581 --> 00:27:18,804.4784581 Implants among other treatment modalities, ladies, please, please go to these appointments with your mates. 302 00:27:19,14.4784581 --> 00:27:30,114.4784581 At least the initial appointment that will discuss the treatment plan so that, you know, if this doesn't work, if the pill doesn't work, then you can try another type of pill you made changed the frequency. 303 00:27:30,414.4784581 --> 00:27:56,44.4784581 Or then you may go to the pumps and when should you introduce injections and all these other things? And the thing about this also is you have to be aware of other illnesses and other comorbidities, right? So if heart attack, was present in the past, then you may have to talk about, well, what's a better dose to start to test it, because that was a big fair of some of my patients. 304 00:27:56,44.4784581 --> 00:27:56,314.4784581 Right. 305 00:27:56,314.4784581 --> 00:28:01,864.4784581 Because when you were taking these medication, let's say high blood pressure medication. 306 00:28:02,134.4784581 --> 00:28:08,624.4784581 And their blood pressure is already low redirecting some of the blood to the penis can cause them to have. 307 00:28:09,394.4784581 --> 00:28:12,124.4784581 A single pole event that is to think. 308 00:28:12,394.4784581 --> 00:28:24,784.4784581 So you want to do these sexual, um, fixes and treatment based on the overall big picture of what it is that your mate is going through. 309 00:28:25,744.4784581 --> 00:28:27,814.4784581 Additionally, why you need to go. 310 00:28:28,264.4784581 --> 00:28:33,784.4784581 I found out most of men tend to fib on their true functionality. 311 00:28:33,784.4784581 --> 00:28:39,64.4784581 You know, I may have a 60 year old male saying that they're functioning as though they're 21. 312 00:28:39,94.4784581 --> 00:28:40,624.4784581 Oh, we know that's not true. 313 00:28:41,74.4784581 --> 00:28:50,24.4784581 Oh, so how do we know this? There is a questionnaire that is typically given to our male patients. 314 00:28:50,54.4784581 --> 00:28:55,724.4784581 And you can do an internet search and go over this with your mate as well. 315 00:28:55,994.4784581 --> 00:29:05,24.4784581 It's called shim, S H I M, which stands for sexual health inventory for male. 316 00:29:05,74.4784581 --> 00:29:10,54.4784581 And this will give you an idea of the questions that your mate will be asked. 317 00:29:10,384.4784581 --> 00:29:11,914.4784581 To make it even more fun. 318 00:29:11,914.4784581 --> 00:29:13,384.4784581 You can have fun with this too. 319 00:29:13,384.4784581 --> 00:29:23,994.4784581 You know, you can print out two copies and let him fill one out where he thinks he is and you can film one out to see where you actually think he is. 320 00:29:24,294.4784581 --> 00:29:28,134.4784581 And that will foster a discussion as well. 321 00:29:29,14.4784581 --> 00:29:29,374.4784581 Right. 322 00:29:29,554.4784581 --> 00:29:33,274.4784581 So there is lots that you can do sister, friend. 323 00:29:33,754.4784581 --> 00:29:36,154.4784581 To be a part of. 324 00:29:36,634.4784581 --> 00:29:40,894.4784581 Note in the diagnosis of ed and being a part of the treatment. 325 00:29:40,894.4784581 --> 00:29:45,394.4784581 Process for him without it being a bitter sad. 326 00:29:45,844.4784581 --> 00:29:46,564.4784581 Journey. 327 00:29:46,834.4784581 --> 00:29:54,94.4784581 You can make this where it's a process that you can come together and grow closer with your mate. 328 00:29:54,364.4784581 --> 00:29:55,354.4784581 Sister friend. 329 00:29:55,834.4784581 --> 00:29:57,34.4784581 You need to do. 330 00:29:57,574.4784581 --> 00:30:05,404.4784581 What you have to do to assemble your eighth team to tackle the mystery that is erectile dysfunction. 331 00:30:06,114.4784581 --> 00:30:17,364.4784581 You may also consider entering couples therapy and sex therapy where a little professional guidance can help you both navigate the emotional twists and turns with some finesse. 332 00:30:17,694.4784581 --> 00:30:25,464.4784581 It's like having a GPS for your relationship, ensuring you stay on course without detours into frustration town. 333 00:30:26,4.4784581 --> 00:30:29,964.4784581 And even if you get a little bit frustration, it's okay to take a break. 334 00:30:29,964.4784581 --> 00:30:33,414.4784581 I'd say, you know what? I think we're getting a little frustrated here. 335 00:30:33,414.4784581 --> 00:30:45,864.4784581 How about we try again? Tomorrow or let's take a break, let's go for a walk together and let's do this again next week or whatever timeframe you want to agree on, but don't let it be. 336 00:30:47,184.4784581 --> 00:30:49,914.4784581 Pushy and cause frustration. 337 00:30:50,64.4784581 --> 00:30:56,734.4784581 Sometimes you have to take baby steps in these arena and Hey, you're not alone in this right. 338 00:30:56,974.4784581 --> 00:30:59,494.4784581 There are resources out there. 339 00:30:59,794.4784581 --> 00:31:02,884.4784581 Ask your primary care provider for recommendations. 340 00:31:03,124.4784581 --> 00:31:07,594.4784581 Be careful off the internet searches out there, please. 341 00:31:07,594.4784581 --> 00:31:08,254.4784581 Ladies. 342 00:31:08,404.4784581 --> 00:31:08,884.4784581 No. 343 00:31:09,574.4784581 --> 00:31:18,514.4784581 No sort of remedies can be done to you to treat his erectile dysfunction that bears repeating right. 344 00:31:19,54.4784581 --> 00:31:34,534.4784581 It's not you, ladies is something mechanical going on with his body, so you can take the potion and also be careful about the types of potion and stuff he's introducing into his body to try and. 345 00:31:35,134.4784581 --> 00:31:44,614.4784581 Be functional again, you know, I'm from the Caribbean and they have all sorts of what I call folklore and tales and some swears by it. 346 00:31:44,614.4784581 --> 00:31:46,234.4784581 And some say it doesn't work. 347 00:31:46,474.4784581 --> 00:32:02,44.4784581 You know, the Irish Moss and the, what was it? The cow for? And, you know, there's all these things out there and the gensy that's supposed to give virility and stuff to men, but. 348 00:32:02,44.4784581 --> 00:32:06,514.4784581 Be careful about certain things that you use, everything natural. 349 00:32:07,474.4784581 --> 00:32:09,334.4784581 Isn't all natural. 350 00:32:09,394.4784581 --> 00:32:13,834.4784581 That is to say even natural things have side effects as well. 351 00:32:15,194.478458 --> 00:32:22,514.4784581 I know while I was at Walter Reed, the center for prostate disease and research, they had a sexual function review for men. 352 00:32:22,814.478458 --> 00:32:32,744.478458 Like monthly, not only just for prostate cancer, but also for other seeking education and on what can be done for treatment of erectile dysfunction. 353 00:32:33,194.478458 --> 00:32:46,844.478458 Don't know if they still have it there, but I imagine there are other hospitals, other urology offices, and other such services available out there where they actually talk about things like this and talk about. 354 00:32:48,74.478458 --> 00:32:49,214.478458 Proven treatment. 355 00:32:50,594.478458 --> 00:32:53,744.478458 I again, I go back to, you know, back home in the Caribbean rehab. 356 00:32:53,774.478458 --> 00:32:57,764.478458 All these things and I'm sure some of them work, but I don't know which one works. 357 00:32:57,764.478458 --> 00:32:59,54.478458 So don't ask me. 358 00:32:59,864.478458 --> 00:33:02,114.478458 Which one works on which one does it? Right. 359 00:33:02,294.478458 --> 00:33:03,464.478458 Just be careful. 360 00:33:03,644.478458 --> 00:33:15,864.478458 And especially if you're on medication for other things, sometimes some of these roots and Herb's, and things can affect the level of the medication in your bloodstream. 361 00:33:15,864.478458 --> 00:33:16,854.478458 That's required. 362 00:33:16,854.478458 --> 00:33:18,384.478458 That's another dangerous thing. 363 00:33:18,654.478458 --> 00:33:23,214.478458 So you gotta take care of your temple or help your may take care of their temple. 364 00:33:23,484.478458 --> 00:33:28,134.478458 Right? I keep saying you just in case there are some male listeners in our welcome. 365 00:33:28,464.478458 --> 00:33:29,574.478458 All listeners. 366 00:33:30,444.478458 --> 00:33:38,574.478458 Be careful, not everything purported on the internet to work, to solve all sorts of mysterious stuff. 367 00:33:38,634.478458 --> 00:33:39,594.478458 Actually work. 368 00:33:39,894.478458 --> 00:33:44,184.478458 Just be knowledgeable of the things that you are doing. 369 00:33:44,574.478458 --> 00:33:47,444.478458 Talk to your primary care physician okay. 370 00:33:48,134.478458 --> 00:33:51,284.478458 Well, we have covered a lot today. 371 00:33:51,674.478458 --> 00:33:55,814.478458 So if this podcast was informative and you enjoyed it. 372 00:33:56,174.478458 --> 00:34:08,654.478458 Please share with others that may benefit and consider a five-star rating on your platform of choice so that others may find this useful information and benefit from it as well. 373 00:34:08,654.478458 --> 00:34:13,634.478458 Again, Remember when it comes to erectile dysfunction. 374 00:34:13,964.478458 --> 00:34:17,294.478458 Keeping communication open ensures. 375 00:34:17,504.478458 --> 00:34:19,844.478458 You're always on the same page. 376 00:34:20,264.478458 --> 00:34:23,414.478458 Ready to tackle, whatever comes your way. 377 00:34:23,804.478458 --> 00:34:25,64.478458 Hand-in-hand. 378 00:34:25,454.478458 --> 00:34:28,394.478458 And heart to heart with your mate. 379 00:34:28,844.478458 --> 00:34:30,164.478458 Stay connected. 380 00:34:30,434.478458 --> 00:34:33,254.478458 And keep exploring with love. 381 00:34:36,261.1451247 --> 00:34:44,571.1451247 Well, sister, friend, I know you have choices, so I thank you for tuning into Intimacy After podcast. 382 00:34:44,991.1451247 --> 00:34:53,541.1451247 You may subscribe for bimonthly alerts or stay in the know by visiting my website@queenquanta.com. 383 00:34:53,781.1451247 --> 00:34:57,926.1451247 That's Queen Q-U-A-N-T a.com. 384 00:34:58,696.1451247 --> 00:35:07,101.1451247 Until next time, remember, a life without Intimacy is like your favorite meal without salt. 385 00:35:07,956.1451247 --> 00:35:10,576.1451247 Ladies, let's spice it up. 386 00:35:11,76.1451247 --> 00:35:14,366.1451247 Life is beautiful, and God is awesome. 387 00:35:14,936.1451247 --> 00:35:17,880.9831247 This is Queen, signing out.
Hello and welcome.
.999This is Intimacy After, a podcast for mature women facing intimacy issues from various causes.
Please know you are not alone.
It is time to stop suffering in silence.
On this podcast, we give hope that through practice of simple steps and proven tips, you can improve intimacy and resurrect your love life.
(00:33):
Break free, learn to laugh again, to play again, to be happy, to love and know that you are loved.
I am your host, Queen.
Come on inside. 9 00:00:49,156.12244898 --> 00:00:56,266.12244898 Hey sister friend, welcome inside to another episode of intimacy after. 10 00:00:56,596.12244898 --> 00:00:58,516.12244898 I missed you last week. 11 00:00:58,756.12244898 --> 00:01:03,106.12244898 My voice was just not behaving, but I'm back. 12 00:01:03,556.12244898 --> 00:01:07,696.12244898 There's been some reference to erectile dysfunction, also called ed. 13 00:01:07,996.12244898 --> 00:01:15,946.12244898 In my past podcast and a few questions regarding partners who are affected by ed also came to light. 14 00:01:16,336.12244898 --> 00:01:23,326.12244898 So today we're going to navigate the waters of erectile dysfunction and how it impacts. 15 00:01:23,656.12244898 --> 00:01:29,896.12244898 Both partners in the first couple of podcasts, I reviewed how I became interested. 16 00:01:30,256.12244898 --> 00:01:33,466.12244898 In this area of intimacy after. 17 00:01:33,856.12244898 --> 00:01:35,806.12244898 Various life changes. 18 00:01:36,286.12244898 --> 00:01:37,906.12244898 As a radiation oncologist. 19 00:01:38,266.12244898 --> 00:01:41,326.12244898 That's a physician who treats cancer with radiation. 20 00:01:41,866.12244898 --> 00:01:52,666.12244898 In follow up with my female patients, they mentioned how they felt left out regarding intimacy in the post cancer survivorship setting. 21 00:01:53,476.12244898 --> 00:01:58,126.12244898 There have been commercials in support of men regaining their stamina. 22 00:01:58,576.12244898 --> 00:02:02,206.12244898 Regaining their identity and functionality. 23 00:02:02,926.12244898 --> 00:02:09,946.12244898 The focus appears to be on how the male counterparts feel when they are. 24 00:02:10,306.12244898 --> 00:02:12,136.12244898 Unable to perform. 25 00:02:12,406.12244898 --> 00:02:16,276.12244898 An able to satisfy self and or others. 26 00:02:16,666.12244898 --> 00:02:22,336.12244898 But what about the female partners? It may or may not be an issue again. 27 00:02:22,636.12244898 --> 00:02:26,146.12244898 Depending on the baseline of your relationship. 28 00:02:26,536.12244898 --> 00:02:32,746.12244898 How, however, that's not to say that things cannot change for better. 29 00:02:33,136.12244898 --> 00:02:44,566.12244898 If facing erectile dysfunction, ed, there may be opportunities to explore together as a couple different and various ways. 30 00:02:44,836.12244898 --> 00:02:46,336.12244898 Of intimacy. 31 00:02:46,846.12244898 --> 00:02:48,826.12244898 That may benefits. 32 00:02:49,96.12244898 --> 00:02:51,286.12244898 You also sister, friend. 33 00:02:51,736.12244898 --> 00:03:19,396.12244898 Is it possible to have an interest in the outcome of treatment for erectile dysfunction as a female? Is it selfish to want more? Before going any further, let's have a basic understanding of what ed actually is because there's been some finger pointing and some concept that's proven to be just not true. 34 00:03:19,576.12244898 --> 00:03:26,686.12244898 So we have to just step back a little bit before we get any deeper. 35 00:03:27,526.12244898 --> 00:03:34,726.12244898 Have you ever had that talk though? Like how to chat with your mates about what erectile dysfunction. 36 00:03:34,996.12244898 --> 00:03:50,126.12244898 E D actually is, there are lots of information out there, but it's time to bring it in and talk about what ed is and how it affects, not just him, but also you. 37 00:03:50,606.12244898 --> 00:03:55,196.12244898 So what exactly is erectile dysfunction? Before we talk about that. 38 00:03:55,406.12244898 --> 00:04:02,606.12244898 Have you ever considered how the penis actually function? I know, right. 39 00:04:02,906.12244898 --> 00:04:09,26.12244898 We are going to go back to this anatomy 1 0 1 before we can talk about. 40 00:04:09,596.12244898 --> 00:04:14,6.12244898 The blame game or how this happened or who's at fault, we need to know. 41 00:04:14,6.12244898 --> 00:04:29,436.12244898 Well, how does a penis actually become erect? Let's talk about this, the common and easiest way that I typically explain to my male patients when discussing the effects of cancer treatment. 42 00:04:29,736.12244898 --> 00:04:31,536.12244898 On the erection function. 43 00:04:32,166.12244898 --> 00:04:34,806.12244898 Is that there are two parts to have an interaction. 44 00:04:35,586.12244898 --> 00:04:45,66.12244898 One, there are nerves that run on either side of the prostate, to the penis that is responsible for waking up the penis. 45 00:04:45,126.12244898 --> 00:04:47,376.12244898 If you will, when aroused. 46 00:04:48,126.12244898 --> 00:04:50,106.12244898 It remains flacid. 47 00:04:50,526.12244898 --> 00:04:59,826.12244898 Secondly, the blood then flow into the penis to make it firm enough for intercourse or interaction. 48 00:05:00,526.12244898 --> 00:05:09,46.12244898 So that means anything that affect these major players will therefore affects erection and lead to dysfunction. 49 00:05:09,286.12244898 --> 00:05:15,616.12244898 That is the nerves, the blood vessels curvature of the penis itself, et cetera. 50 00:05:16,616.12244898 --> 00:05:26,366.12244898 Erectile dysfunction then occurs when someone has trouble getting are keeping an erection firm enough for sexual activity. 51 00:05:26,756.12244898 --> 00:05:31,466.12244898 It's a common issue, especially for men as they get older. 52 00:05:31,796.12244898 --> 00:05:37,166.12244898 But it can happen to any male at any time for a multitude of reasons. 53 00:05:37,646.12244898 --> 00:05:48,266.12244898 There are several common causes of ed, which typically categorize into physical, psychological, and some others due to lifestyle. 54 00:05:48,656.12244898 --> 00:05:55,586.12244898 Nothing in these common causes include you, my sister friend, because this is a physical thing. 55 00:05:56,36.12244898 --> 00:06:04,226.12244898 You are not to blame, but let's talk about some of these, right? Let's determine which category your mate is in. 56 00:06:04,886.12244898 --> 00:06:07,976.12244898 It could be more than one category as well. 57 00:06:08,226.12244898 --> 00:06:15,156.12244898 I'm going to cover like the three most common umbrella things that's, uh, can affect your mate. 58 00:06:15,336.12244898 --> 00:06:20,946.12244898 So we have physical causes and this include problems with blood flow nerves. 59 00:06:21,276.12244898 --> 00:06:22,446.12244898 Or hormones. 60 00:06:22,696.12244898 --> 00:06:30,16.12244898 Conditions like high blood pressure, which is very common heart disease, which is also very common diabetes. 61 00:06:30,646.12244898 --> 00:06:40,696.12244898 To common and obesity that is on the rise can all make it more difficult to have an erection because they affect blood circulation. 62 00:06:41,26.12244898 --> 00:06:45,926.12244898 So again, there are certain building blocks that causes an erection. 63 00:06:46,76.12244898 --> 00:07:06,476.12244898 What are those building blocks? And when those building blocks are affected, What, and how does it manifest when it comes to erectile dysfunction? The other thing too, is mental health, which plays a big role in E D and is bundled in psychological causes. 64 00:07:07,206.12244898 --> 00:07:13,506.12244898 So when we talk about stress, anxiety, depression, and even relationship problems. 65 00:07:13,866.12244898 --> 00:07:19,114.47845805 Can interfere with how brain sends that signal body for sexual activity. 66 00:07:19,234.47845805 --> 00:07:25,564.47845805 So if any of those things is affecting mind, Then mind is not connecting to say, Hey, get aroused, have an erection. 67 00:07:25,594.47845805 --> 00:07:26,584.47845805 Let's play here. 68 00:07:26,804.47845805 --> 00:07:29,474.47845805 This has been depicted and some movies. 69 00:07:29,864.47845805 --> 00:07:37,154.47845805 If, you know, a couple is in a sexual situation, and let's say this young man is overly overjoyed. 70 00:07:37,394.47845805 --> 00:07:41,864.47845805 That is finally getting to meet this lovely lady. 71 00:07:41,864.47845805 --> 00:07:43,484.47845805 And in his excitement. 72 00:07:44,264.47845805 --> 00:07:48,194.47845805 The pressure for performance become an issue. 73 00:07:48,464.47845805 --> 00:07:53,114.47845805 And the male is unable to achieve an erection due to that stressor. 74 00:07:53,444.47845805 --> 00:08:13,304.47845805 And this is shown in the movie as, you know, the guy being embarrassed by the lack of the ability to function, but eventually that comes around and he settles down, et cetera is the same thing that can be going on in some of our mostly younger males when they're having these. 75 00:08:13,364.47845805 --> 00:08:19,454.47845805 Psychological issues that's affecting their ability to function. 76 00:08:19,454.47845805 --> 00:08:47,704.47845805 Then they're also lifestyle factors, which include such choices as smoking, too much alcohol using drugs or not getting enough exercise among other things that can lead to and cause problems with erection, right? These habits can hurt your mate's body's ability to have that healthy blood flow or affect the hormone levels. 77 00:08:47,944.47845805 --> 00:08:56,134.47845805 And this is going to manifest has an ability to have that erection necessary for penetration and sexual function. 78 00:08:57,64.47845805 --> 00:09:07,924.47845805 Understanding these causes helps people and can help you find the right treatments or changes they can make to improve the situation. 79 00:09:09,94.47845805 --> 00:09:14,254.47845805 No one likes to feel like they are alone when going through any issues. 80 00:09:14,674.47845805 --> 00:09:29,884.47845805 So though many prefer not to discuss this topic, it is important to realize just how common this condition truly is for my international listeners, global prevalence of erectile dysfunction. 81 00:09:30,154.47845805 --> 00:09:35,14.47845805 Is estimated to be over 150 million worldwide. 82 00:09:35,314.47845805 --> 00:09:38,884.47845805 Which is expected to double by 2025. 83 00:09:39,614.47845805 --> 00:09:50,84.47845805 Some of you may not be good with numbers or like numbers, but when you hear 150 million and you are one that goes to show how common it truly is. 84 00:09:50,564.47845805 --> 00:09:57,434.47845805 In the United States, about 13 million men are affected by erectile dysfunction. 85 00:09:57,594.47845805 --> 00:10:07,584.47845805 For age-related prevalence of ed men in their forties, around 40% of them experienced some form of erectile dysfunction. 86 00:10:08,34.47845805 --> 00:10:10,944.47845805 That's a lot of men facing these issues. 87 00:10:11,64.47845805 --> 00:10:11,574.47845805 Yes. 88 00:10:11,934.47845805 --> 00:10:16,704.47845805 Approximately 40% of men in their forties, like, wow. 89 00:10:17,124.47845805 --> 00:10:21,714.47845805 Unfortunately, the numbers continue to increase with age. 90 00:10:22,164.47845805 --> 00:10:29,444.47845805 And so plus, or minus a few percentage, but men in their sixties, about 60% of them are having issues. 91 00:10:29,744.47845805 --> 00:10:36,524.47845805 Men age 70 and up, up to 70% of them are facing erectile dysfunction in some capacity. 92 00:10:36,824.47845805 --> 00:10:46,94.47845805 To bring it down to, um, easy to understand term if you know, 10 men who are in their seventies. 93 00:10:46,394.47845805 --> 00:10:51,24.47845805 Seven or more of them having problems with erection. 94 00:10:51,174.47845805 --> 00:10:51,714.47845805 So. 95 00:10:52,524.47845805 --> 00:10:54,414.47845805 It's a big deal. 96 00:10:54,504.47845805 --> 00:10:54,834.47845805 Right. 97 00:10:54,894.47845805 --> 00:10:58,44.47845805 A room full of men in their forties. 98 00:10:58,674.47845805 --> 00:11:02,304.47845805 Four out of 10 of them are ready, starting to have issues. 99 00:11:02,484.47845805 --> 00:11:10,104.47845805 So the numbers may be startling to some, especially if you're listening and you're not currently facing any such issue. 100 00:11:11,4.47845805 --> 00:11:13,764.47845805 I recommend you enjoy your mate. 101 00:11:14,34.47845805 --> 00:11:16,344.47845805 For as long as you can. 102 00:11:17,724.47845805 --> 00:11:18,414.47845805 Oh boy. 103 00:11:19,464.47845805 --> 00:11:25,584.47845805 Got to have fun with this is a serious matter, but it's not all on you. 104 00:11:26,244.47845805 --> 00:11:36,384.47845805 With such startling numbers and starting as early as in the forties, many couples are facing erectile dysfunction issues. 105 00:11:36,774.47845805 --> 00:11:44,394.47845805 And it may be that each of you just go to your own corner, not acknowledging or addressing the issue. 106 00:11:44,754.47845805 --> 00:11:45,234.47845805 Right. 107 00:11:45,864.47845805 --> 00:11:48,984.47845805 Oh, that's his issue or his problem. 108 00:11:49,104.47845805 --> 00:11:53,694.47845805 You may be thinking, but you will find that he may just be urine in. 109 00:11:53,934.47845805 --> 00:12:00,714.47845805 To talk to you about it and find out how you may feel about erectile dysfunction. 110 00:12:01,104.47845805 --> 00:12:03,984.47845805 It may matter greatly to you, or it may not. 111 00:12:04,374.47845805 --> 00:12:09,54.47845805 But one thing is for sure it matters immensely to him. 112 00:12:09,804.47845805 --> 00:12:11,64.47845805 Talk about it. 113 00:12:11,664.47845805 --> 00:12:23,634.47845805 Another thing I found out too, was that, uh, there are some men who are so embarrassed and not wanting to talk about it, that they will abstain from sexual intercourse. 114 00:12:23,634.47845805 --> 00:12:26,64.47845805 They will abstain from touching you. 115 00:12:26,244.47845805 --> 00:12:28,644.47845805 So you don't know what's going on. 116 00:12:29,64.47845805 --> 00:12:32,604.47845805 You have to talk to him about what's going on. 117 00:12:33,24.47845805 --> 00:12:35,694.47845805 Do say something like, Hey, babe. 118 00:12:36,864.47845805 --> 00:12:37,704.47845805 It's been a week. 119 00:12:38,154.47845805 --> 00:12:40,764.47845805 A month, two months, six months a year. 120 00:12:42,24.47845805 --> 00:12:43,194.47845805 What's going on. 121 00:12:43,614.47845805 --> 00:12:49,64.47845805 Are you experienced in erectile dysfunction? Uncomfortable conversation. 122 00:12:49,154.47845805 --> 00:12:53,204.47845805 I know, but it's conversations that need to be had. 123 00:12:53,864.47845805 --> 00:13:02,834.47845805 Because of this erectile dysfunction can significantly impact your relationships and intimacy through many ways. 124 00:13:03,284.47845805 --> 00:13:05,54.47845805 Let's talk about a few here. 125 00:13:05,54.47845805 --> 00:13:17,234.47845805 The emotional strain of the elephant in the room where couples often experience stress, frustration, and a decrease in sexual satisfaction, maybe. 126 00:13:17,864.47845805 --> 00:13:25,274.47845805 When y'all first got together, it was toe curling, great sex and everything was fantastic. 127 00:13:25,274.47845805 --> 00:13:29,894.47845805 And the ripping off of the clothes, then it became so, so. 128 00:13:30,404.47845805 --> 00:13:33,224.47845805 And then non-existence or. 129 00:13:33,764.47845805 --> 00:13:34,574.47845805 War. 130 00:13:35,84.47845805 --> 00:13:36,284.47845805 It may have been. 131 00:13:36,344.47845805 --> 00:13:41,444.47845805 So, so in the beginning, Or non-existent to begin with. 132 00:13:41,894.47845805 --> 00:13:48,494.47845805 Regardless of where you were erectile dysfunction can lead to decrease intimacy. 133 00:13:48,824.47845805 --> 00:13:52,334.47845805 And decrease emotional connection between you and your mate. 134 00:13:52,544.47845805 --> 00:14:00,494.47845805 Sometimes the decrease in connection is purely because of his self-consciousness about the issue. 135 00:14:00,994.47845805 --> 00:14:04,534.47845805 For some of my more seasoned listeners. 136 00:14:04,714.47845805 --> 00:14:09,634.47845805 Who are in their seventies and eighties, you may have. 137 00:14:10,24.47845805 --> 00:14:19,444.47845805 Been through a relationship before and is now on your second or third marriage and you have made it known that, okay, I'm in this relationship. 138 00:14:19,984.47845805 --> 00:14:25,624.47845805 Just for companionship, right? Sexual intercourse is not required. 139 00:14:25,684.47845805 --> 00:14:29,314.47845805 However, keep listening because I will get into. 140 00:14:29,854.47845805 --> 00:14:34,264.47845805 Portions of intimacy that may not include intercourse. 141 00:14:34,564.47845805 --> 00:14:41,944.47845805 So even though you're having this friendship, Holding off the hands may be all you want. 142 00:14:42,574.47845805 --> 00:14:43,204.47845805 But. 143 00:14:43,984.47845805 --> 00:14:46,144.47845805 It could get a little bit better. 144 00:14:46,504.47845805 --> 00:14:48,154.47845805 Keep listening. 145 00:14:48,934.47845805 --> 00:14:50,164.47845805 Another thing though. 146 00:14:50,554.47845805 --> 00:15:01,4.47845805 Is that communication challenges can become even more magnified June this time of sexual issues due to erectile dysfunction. 147 00:15:01,274.47845805 --> 00:15:12,554.47845805 Some couples may avoid discussing the issue, which can exacerbate feelings of isolation or misunderstanding, and sometimes the smallest thing. 148 00:15:12,794.47845805 --> 00:15:28,844.47845805 The smallest issues or misunderstanding may get blown out of proportion simply because of the underlying erectile dysfunction problem that he may be facing, then that you may or may not be aware of. 149 00:15:30,14.47845805 --> 00:15:37,664.47845805 I may be wrong, but there is nothing worse than being in a relationship and feeling isolated from your mate. 150 00:15:38,244.47845805 --> 00:15:43,914.47845805 For my younger listeners or for those who are seeking to find their soulmate. 151 00:15:44,214.47845805 --> 00:15:49,194.47845805 I have to pause right here and let you know, I don't believe in soulmate. 152 00:15:49,704.47845805 --> 00:15:56,694.47845805 I am my own soulmate and my hubby is the whipped cream and cherry on top. 153 00:15:57,114.47845805 --> 00:16:05,484.47845805 One thing I know for sure is that you have to be okay with yourself first, before being able to build a relationship. 154 00:16:05,754.47845805 --> 00:16:07,644.47845805 It's foundational. 155 00:16:07,924.47845805 --> 00:16:10,624.47845805 But that's for another podcast. 156 00:16:10,984.47845805 --> 00:16:12,934.47845805 All that to say what you already know. 157 00:16:13,384.47845805 --> 00:16:17,344.47845805 The relationship and bond in a marriage is very important. 158 00:16:17,794.47845805 --> 00:16:22,774.47845805 You are doing life with another human in close proximity. 159 00:16:23,554.47845805 --> 00:16:25,144.47845805 It matters. 160 00:16:25,844.47845805 --> 00:16:28,274.47845805 If not discussed and attended to. 161 00:16:28,694.47845805 --> 00:16:32,24.47845805 Erectile dysfunction can lead to relational breakdown. 162 00:16:32,354.47845805 --> 00:16:36,194.47845805 In some cases, ed can lead to reduce quality of life. 163 00:16:36,224.47845805 --> 00:16:40,814.4784581 And if left on treated like a disease like cancer. 164 00:16:40,814.4784581 --> 00:16:48,704.4784581 It will contribute to relationship conflicts or even separation and death of a relationship through divorce. 165 00:16:49,634.4784581 --> 00:16:51,344.4784581 Uh, therefore sister, friend. 166 00:16:51,914.4784581 --> 00:16:56,474.4784581 Treatment is important and treatment typically include counseling. 167 00:16:57,14.4784581 --> 00:16:59,834.4784581 Some level of self realization. 168 00:17:00,464.4784581 --> 00:17:01,394.4784581 Hers. 169 00:17:01,844.4784581 --> 00:17:09,794.4784581 Open communications are critical and a good start to address in this erectile dysfunction issue and its effects. 170 00:17:10,184.4784581 --> 00:17:11,444.4784581 On intimacy. 171 00:17:11,634.4784581 --> 00:17:15,264.4784581 The emotional impact on her, on you. 172 00:17:15,504.4784581 --> 00:17:25,104.4784581 Is often overlooked ed can have a profound, emotional impact on the female partner in a relationship and many women like yourself. 173 00:17:25,404.4784581 --> 00:17:27,774.4784581 Makes appearance feelings of rejection. 174 00:17:28,104.4784581 --> 00:17:29,304.4784581 Self-blame. 175 00:17:29,784.4784581 --> 00:17:31,704.4784581 And even insecurity. 176 00:17:32,574.4784581 --> 00:17:42,534.4784581 You may wonder if you are no longer attractive or if you did something wrong to cause your partner's difficulties. 177 00:17:42,844.4784581 --> 00:17:45,784.4784581 Yes, sadly, I have heard it all. 178 00:17:46,24.4784581 --> 00:17:49,534.4784581 And sometimes it's all because of ignorance. 179 00:17:49,594.4784581 --> 00:17:49,984.4784581 Right. 180 00:17:50,194.4784581 --> 00:17:55,404.4784581 And ignorance implementing because he doesn't know what's causing this. 181 00:17:55,764.4784581 --> 00:17:56,364.4784581 So. 182 00:17:56,724.4784581 --> 00:18:00,114.4784581 He may blame you because you gained weight. 183 00:18:00,144.4784581 --> 00:18:09,564.4784581 You may have cut off your hair or some other change that is different from when you first met 10, 15, 25 plus years ago. 184 00:18:09,564.4784581 --> 00:18:09,954.4784581 Like. 185 00:18:10,314.4784581 --> 00:18:11,244.4784581 C'mon now. 186 00:18:12,84.4784581 --> 00:18:19,764.4784581 That is on a susceptible to use that as some kind of gauge as to why he may be having erectile dysfunction. 187 00:18:20,424.4784581 --> 00:18:24,654.4784581 I typically remind some of my patients that the only thing constant. 188 00:18:25,14.4784581 --> 00:18:26,94.4784581 Is change. 189 00:18:26,364.4784581 --> 00:18:29,874.4784581 And that includes the human body as well. 190 00:18:29,874.4784581 --> 00:18:39,204.4784581 But these thoughts of blame can lead to a sense of inadequacy and affair that the relationship may deteriorate as one woman shared. 191 00:18:39,804.4784581 --> 00:18:42,474.4784581 I couldn't help, but feel it was my fault. 192 00:18:42,864.4784581 --> 00:18:47,214.4784581 I thought he was no longer attracted to me and it hurt deeply. 193 00:18:48,504.4784581 --> 00:18:51,144.4784581 Sister friend, if he's staying away. 194 00:18:51,684.4784581 --> 00:18:53,754.4784581 It could be for multiple reasons. 195 00:18:54,504.4784581 --> 00:18:56,184.4784581 And that won't go into that. 196 00:18:56,424.4784581 --> 00:18:58,554.4784581 We're all detectives at heart. 197 00:18:59,34.4784581 --> 00:19:02,754.4784581 But if all else fails, just start with the anatomy. 198 00:19:02,754.4784581 --> 00:19:09,264.4784581 Just start with the basic, could it be erectile dysfunction? Right. 199 00:19:10,434.4784581 --> 00:19:13,254.4784581 And remember his function is not. 200 00:19:13,944.4784581 --> 00:19:15,234.4784581 Based on you. 201 00:19:15,484.4784581 --> 00:19:23,944.4784581 That is why this information is so very important for you to understand the mechanics of his erectile dysfunction. 202 00:19:24,184.4784581 --> 00:19:26,164.4784581 It is outside of you. 203 00:19:26,404.4784581 --> 00:19:28,744.4784581 It is not caused by you. 204 00:19:29,254.4784581 --> 00:19:40,24.4784581 Though I have heard the ridiculous argument of blame saying that well, he had diabetes and other health issues because she cooks that type of food for him. 205 00:19:40,504.4784581 --> 00:19:49,234.4784581 Isn't that the most ridiculous thing ever blaming someone else based on the food that was prepared with love. 206 00:19:49,834.4784581 --> 00:19:50,824.4784581 Instead of blame. 207 00:19:50,854.4784581 --> 00:20:04,864.4784581 How about shopping together or watching a documentary about healthier food options? For some of us, and yes, I said, us purposely, the food we eat is culturally ingrained. 208 00:20:05,44.4784581 --> 00:20:14,194.4784581 How do you talk away? Someone from their barbecue ribs or a double cheeseburger with bacon and fried chicken and jerk chicken and Lavon Mia. 209 00:20:14,464.4784581 --> 00:20:25,494.4784581 And you can add your favorite to the list and don't even go to the desserts, right? Nevertheless, I'm not sure how even to address that ridiculous blame game. 210 00:20:25,974.4784581 --> 00:20:27,444.4784581 She cooked the food. 211 00:20:28,74.4784581 --> 00:20:28,704.4784581 Oh boy. 212 00:20:29,304.4784581 --> 00:20:38,694.4784581 What do you think? Are you to blame? What is a good way to address this issue? Leave me a message would love to hear your input. 213 00:20:39,914.4784581 --> 00:20:48,254.4784581 Well, sister friend, this may sound foreign to you, but it is possible to rekindle intimacy beyond the usual. 214 00:20:49,244.4784581 --> 00:20:56,804.4784581 So let's dive into something sizzling that doesn't require a single bedsheet acrobatic move. 215 00:20:57,584.4784581 --> 00:21:02,804.4784581 I see you out there past cheerleaders in gymnast, you can keep the Palm pumps though. 216 00:21:02,834.4784581 --> 00:21:04,334.4784581 They may come in useful. 217 00:21:05,654.4784581 --> 00:21:06,224.4784581 Yep. 218 00:21:06,254.4784581 --> 00:21:11,234.4784581 We're talking about rekindling intimacy beyond the old, in an ultra routine. 219 00:21:11,744.4784581 --> 00:21:23,174.4784581 Who knew there was an entire universe of closeness outside traditional bed hopping or whatever it was for you living room hopping, kitchen hop in. 220 00:21:23,444.4784581 --> 00:21:26,444.4784581 Backseat of the car hopping airplane upping. 221 00:21:28,514.4784581 --> 00:21:33,644.4784581 Uh, I'm hoping that you were having fun when you were hopping first up. 222 00:21:34,184.4784581 --> 00:21:35,774.4784581 Let's chat about touch. 223 00:21:36,194.4784581 --> 00:21:40,994.4784581 Not just any touch, but the kind that makes your heart do a happy dance. 224 00:21:41,384.4784581 --> 00:21:48,584.4784581 Imagine a central game of tag with massages or a deep dive into tantra. 225 00:21:48,824.4784581 --> 00:21:52,124.4784581 Turn in your living room into a Zen zone. 226 00:21:52,604.4784581 --> 00:21:58,784.4784581 It's not just about where you touch, but how you make the other person feel. 227 00:21:59,324.4784581 --> 00:22:04,874.4784581 It's pretty much the adult version of coloring inside the lines. 228 00:22:05,24.4784581 --> 00:22:05,384.4784581 Now. 229 00:22:06,194.4784581 --> 00:22:17,444.4784581 If you're into more active bonding, why not chat? Chat? Your way into a tango lessons or robe out the yoga mat for some interesting position. 230 00:22:18,314.4784581 --> 00:22:21,344.4784581 Why did they name that position? Downward dog. 231 00:22:21,914.4784581 --> 00:22:22,964.4784581 I always wonder. 232 00:22:23,474.4784581 --> 00:22:25,484.4784581 I never saw a dog doing yoga. 233 00:22:25,664.4784581 --> 00:22:29,474.4784581 Have you? Growing up common. 234 00:22:29,474.4784581 --> 00:22:30,974.4784581 Compensation here. 235 00:22:31,394.4784581 --> 00:22:31,994.4784581 Okay. 236 00:22:32,234.4784581 --> 00:22:32,924.4784581 So. 237 00:22:33,704.4784581 --> 00:22:34,994.4784581 Let's go to the kitchen. 238 00:22:35,754.4784581 --> 00:22:36,714.4784581 Cooking a spice. 239 00:22:36,714.4784581 --> 00:22:47,724.4784581 The dish together might sound cliche, but the playful banter over who chops the tomatoes or the carrots or the salary better is priceless. 240 00:22:47,994.4784581 --> 00:22:51,684.4784581 And you get to taste, test your teamwork. 241 00:22:52,374.4784581 --> 00:22:56,244.4784581 And here's a fun fact from another sex therapist. 242 00:22:57,174.4784581 --> 00:23:01,914.4784581 Intimacy doesn't need a GPS that points only to the bedroom. 243 00:23:02,394.4784581 --> 00:23:04,944.4784581 As we previously talk about hopping around. 244 00:23:05,664.4784581 --> 00:23:15,864.4784581 Dive into sensory delights, like feeling the warmth of each other's skin, getting intoxicated by your partners sent. 245 00:23:16,164.4784581 --> 00:23:22,14.4784581 Listening to each other's heart beat or even indulgent in an intense. 246 00:23:22,404.4784581 --> 00:23:23,964.4784581 No blinking allowed. 247 00:23:24,24.4784581 --> 00:23:26,4.4784581 I gaze in competition. 248 00:23:26,784.4784581 --> 00:23:29,394.4784581 Trust me the giggles you'll share. 249 00:23:29,454.4784581 --> 00:23:30,654.4784581 Try not to blink. 250 00:23:30,684.4784581 --> 00:23:34,554.4784581 We'll connect you in ways you never saw coming. 251 00:23:34,914.4784581 --> 00:23:36,174.4784581 It's just share. 252 00:23:36,294.4784581 --> 00:23:37,134.4784581 Joy. 253 00:23:37,794.4784581 --> 00:23:40,104.4784581 It's playful and it's fun. 254 00:23:40,704.4784581 --> 00:23:41,244.4784581 Right. 255 00:23:41,494.4784581 --> 00:23:50,734.4784581 These playful ventures into the realm of intimacy, help you discover those little islands of connection that aren't reliant on. 256 00:23:50,884.4784581 --> 00:23:53,854.4784581 Anyone's plumbing, working flawlessly. 257 00:23:54,154.4784581 --> 00:24:00,304.4784581 So erectile dysfunction won't even come into the ploy or is an issue. 258 00:24:00,514.4784581 --> 00:24:09,424.4784581 Think of it as a treasure hunt for the census where the real prize is discovering new facets of each other. 259 00:24:09,954.4784581 --> 00:24:10,344.4784581 Now. 260 00:24:10,854.4784581 --> 00:24:12,804.4784581 In these playful. 261 00:24:13,344.4784581 --> 00:24:15,654.4784581 Engagement and endeavors. 262 00:24:16,104.4784581 --> 00:24:21,894.4784581 There may be a time or two where something may not be quite pleasant. 263 00:24:21,894.4784581 --> 00:24:22,884.4784581 You know, just. 264 00:24:23,394.4784581 --> 00:24:24,504.4784581 Simply say, whoa. 265 00:24:24,624.4784581 --> 00:24:25,704.4784581 Oh, oh. 266 00:24:26,394.4784581 --> 00:24:27,834.4784581 That's not going to work, honey. 267 00:24:28,164.4784581 --> 00:24:31,584.4784581 That's not gonna work and then try something else. 268 00:24:31,944.4784581 --> 00:24:39,324.4784581 Never tried to make it too uncomfortable for too long and make it a playful banter. 269 00:24:39,324.4784581 --> 00:24:44,214.4784581 So the moment will just pass and you move on to something else. 270 00:24:44,754.4784581 --> 00:24:59,754.4784581 These shared experiences, not only cultivate a sense of partnership, but also evoke a playful aspect of intimacy that often gets lost in the routine of daily life and phone calls and work. 271 00:24:59,754.4784581 --> 00:24:59,904.4784581 And. 272 00:25:00,324.4784581 --> 00:25:01,254.4784581 Everything else. 273 00:25:01,254.4784581 --> 00:25:03,594.4784581 And it brings you together in a way. 274 00:25:03,894.4784581 --> 00:25:05,964.4784581 That is unbelievable. 275 00:25:06,354.4784581 --> 00:25:08,844.478458 And the bonds just get tighter. 276 00:25:09,944.4784581 --> 00:25:22,664.4784581 Embarking on a journey of exploration together identifies unique preferences and desires that don't necessarily depend on erectile function. 277 00:25:23,444.4784581 --> 00:25:28,844.4784581 Ultimately though sister friend, ultimately these creative detours, aren't just a work around. 278 00:25:29,144.4784581 --> 00:25:33,344.4784581 They're a celebration of your relationships, depth and diversity. 279 00:25:33,554.4784581 --> 00:25:40,214.4784581 It's about layering, the connection with laughter and tenderness and a dash of curiosity. 280 00:25:41,24.4784581 --> 00:25:45,224.4784581 By embracing these adventures, you're signing up for a journey. 281 00:25:45,434.4784581 --> 00:25:50,594.4784581 That's as much about enjoying the ride as it is about reaching. 282 00:25:51,44.4784581 --> 00:25:53,144.4784581 Any particular destination. 283 00:25:53,144.4784581 --> 00:25:53,504.4784581 So. 284 00:25:54,194.4784581 --> 00:25:56,684.4784581 Put on your explorers, hats. 285 00:25:57,254.4784581 --> 00:26:05,144.4784581 And get ready to uncover new territories of love, fueled by Umer and genuine connection. 286 00:26:05,984.4784581 --> 00:26:06,704.4784581 Wrapping it up. 287 00:26:06,734.4784581 --> 00:26:07,184.4784581 Folks. 288 00:26:07,364.4784581 --> 00:26:11,84.4784581 Let's talk about being a dynamic duo when things get tricky. 289 00:26:11,564.4784581 --> 00:26:22,844.4784581 If erectile dysfunction is crashing your party, it's crucial to TAC team with medical professionals in this area to uncover what's really going on my disclaimer. 290 00:26:22,844.4784581 --> 00:26:25,604.4784581 Again, I'm a radiation oncologist by trade. 291 00:26:25,754.4784581 --> 00:26:33,314.4784581 So while I may treat sexual dysfunction caused by cancer treatment, this is not my primary specialty. 292 00:26:33,914.4784581 --> 00:26:44,264.4784581 I do like my male patient cancer survivors to follow up with specialties in that field urologist, they can do much more than I can. 293 00:26:44,414.4784581 --> 00:26:51,134.4784581 I'm limited to pills and suggestion of various pumps, et cetera, but they can go deeper. 294 00:26:51,194.4784581 --> 00:27:00,704.4784581 They can talk about the various mechanics of things and they can discuss various pumps and then graduate to injection at the base of the penis. 295 00:27:00,914.4784581 --> 00:27:02,264.4784581 Just before intercourse. 296 00:27:02,324.4784581 --> 00:27:02,714.4784581 Yes. 297 00:27:02,894.4784581 --> 00:27:04,244.4784581 The needle is super fine though. 298 00:27:04,244.4784581 --> 00:27:05,504.4784581 Like super, super fine. 299 00:27:05,684.4784581 --> 00:27:06,704.4784581 It's like a wire. 300 00:27:07,184.4784581 --> 00:27:09,704.4784581 I've been told it doesn't really hurt much. 301 00:27:10,484.4784581 --> 00:27:18,804.4784581 Implants among other treatment modalities, ladies, please, please go to these appointments with your mates. 302 00:27:19,14.4784581 --> 00:27:30,114.4784581 At least the initial appointment that will discuss the treatment plan so that, you know, if this doesn't work, if the pill doesn't work, then you can try another type of pill you made changed the frequency. 303 00:27:30,414.4784581 --> 00:27:56,44.4784581 Or then you may go to the pumps and when should you introduce injections and all these other things? And the thing about this also is you have to be aware of other illnesses and other comorbidities, right? So if heart attack, was present in the past, then you may have to talk about, well, what's a better dose to start to test it, because that was a big fair of some of my patients. 304 00:27:56,44.4784581 --> 00:27:56,314.4784581 Right. 305 00:27:56,314.4784581 --> 00:28:01,864.4784581 Because when you were taking these medication, let's say high blood pressure medication. 306 00:28:02,134.4784581 --> 00:28:08,624.4784581 And their blood pressure is already low redirecting some of the blood to the penis can cause them to have. 307 00:28:09,394.4784581 --> 00:28:12,124.4784581 A single pole event that is to think. 308 00:28:12,394.4784581 --> 00:28:24,784.4784581 So you want to do these sexual, um, fixes and treatment based on the overall big picture of what it is that your mate is going through. 309 00:28:25,744.4784581 --> 00:28:27,814.4784581 Additionally, why you need to go. 310 00:28:28,264.4784581 --> 00:28:33,784.4784581 I found out most of men tend to fib on their true functionality. 311 00:28:33,784.4784581 --> 00:28:39,64.4784581 You know, I may have a 60 year old male saying that they're functioning as though they're 21. 312 00:28:39,94.4784581 --> 00:28:40,624.4784581 Oh, we know that's not true. 313 00:28:41,74.4784581 --> 00:28:50,24.4784581 Oh, so how do we know this? There is a questionnaire that is typically given to our male patients. 314 00:28:50,54.4784581 --> 00:28:55,724.4784581 And you can do an internet search and go over this with your mate as well. 315 00:28:55,994.4784581 --> 00:29:05,24.4784581 It's called shim, S H I M, which stands for sexual health inventory for male. 316 00:29:05,74.4784581 --> 00:29:10,54.4784581 And this will give you an idea of the questions that your mate will be asked. 317 00:29:10,384.4784581 --> 00:29:11,914.4784581 To make it even more fun. 318 00:29:11,914.4784581 --> 00:29:13,384.4784581 You can have fun with this too. 319 00:29:13,384.4784581 --> 00:29:23,994.4784581 You know, you can print out two copies and let him fill one out where he thinks he is and you can film one out to see where you actually think he is. 320 00:29:24,294.4784581 --> 00:29:28,134.4784581 And that will foster a discussion as well. 321 00:29:29,14.4784581 --> 00:29:29,374.4784581 Right. 322 00:29:29,554.4784581 --> 00:29:33,274.4784581 So there is lots that you can do sister, friend. 323 00:29:33,754.4784581 --> 00:29:36,154.4784581 To be a part of. 324 00:29:36,634.4784581 --> 00:29:40,894.4784581 Note in the diagnosis of ed and being a part of the treatment. 325 00:29:40,894.4784581 --> 00:29:45,394.4784581 Process for him without it being a bitter sad. 326 00:29:45,844.4784581 --> 00:29:46,564.4784581 Journey. 327 00:29:46,834.4784581 --> 00:29:54,94.4784581 You can make this where it's a process that you can come together and grow closer with your mate. 328 00:29:54,364.4784581 --> 00:29:55,354.4784581 Sister friend. 329 00:29:55,834.4784581 --> 00:29:57,34.4784581 You need to do. 330 00:29:57,574.4784581 --> 00:30:05,404.4784581 What you have to do to assemble your eighth team to tackle the mystery that is erectile dysfunction. 331 00:30:06,114.4784581 --> 00:30:17,364.4784581 You may also consider entering couples therapy and sex therapy where a little professional guidance can help you both navigate the emotional twists and turns with some finesse. 332 00:30:17,694.4784581 --> 00:30:25,464.4784581 It's like having a GPS for your relationship, ensuring you stay on course without detours into frustration town. 333 00:30:26,4.4784581 --> 00:30:29,964.4784581 And even if you get a little bit frustration, it's okay to take a break. 334 00:30:29,964.4784581 --> 00:30:33,414.4784581 I'd say, you know what? I think we're getting a little frustrated here. 335 00:30:33,414.4784581 --> 00:30:45,864.4784581 How about we try again? Tomorrow or let's take a break, let's go for a walk together and let's do this again next week or whatever timeframe you want to agree on, but don't let it be. 336 00:30:47,184.4784581 --> 00:30:49,914.4784581 Pushy and cause frustration. 337 00:30:50,64.4784581 --> 00:30:56,734.4784581 Sometimes you have to take baby steps in these arena and Hey, you're not alone in this right. 338 00:30:56,974.4784581 --> 00:30:59,494.4784581 There are resources out there. 339 00:30:59,794.4784581 --> 00:31:02,884.4784581 Ask your primary care provider for recommendations. 340 00:31:03,124.4784581 --> 00:31:07,594.4784581 Be careful off the internet searches out there, please. 341 00:31:07,594.4784581 --> 00:31:08,254.4784581 Ladies. 342 00:31:08,404.4784581 --> 00:31:08,884.4784581 No. 343 00:31:09,574.4784581 --> 00:31:18,514.4784581 No sort of remedies can be done to you to treat his erectile dysfunction that bears repeating right. 344 00:31:19,54.4784581 --> 00:31:34,534.4784581 It's not you, ladies is something mechanical going on with his body, so you can take the potion and also be careful about the types of potion and stuff he's introducing into his body to try and. 345 00:31:35,134.4784581 --> 00:31:44,614.4784581 Be functional again, you know, I'm from the Caribbean and they have all sorts of what I call folklore and tales and some swears by it. 346 00:31:44,614.4784581 --> 00:31:46,234.4784581 And some say it doesn't work. 347 00:31:46,474.4784581 --> 00:32:02,44.4784581 You know, the Irish Moss and the, what was it? The cow for? And, you know, there's all these things out there and the gensy that's supposed to give virility and stuff to men, but. 348 00:32:02,44.4784581 --> 00:32:06,514.4784581 Be careful about certain things that you use, everything natural. 349 00:32:07,474.4784581 --> 00:32:09,334.4784581 Isn't all natural. 350 00:32:09,394.4784581 --> 00:32:13,834.4784581 That is to say even natural things have side effects as well. 351 00:32:15,194.478458 --> 00:32:22,514.4784581 I know while I was at Walter Reed, the center for prostate disease and research, they had a sexual function review for men. 352 00:32:22,814.478458 --> 00:32:32,744.478458 Like monthly, not only just for prostate cancer, but also for other seeking education and on what can be done for treatment of erectile dysfunction. 353 00:32:33,194.478458 --> 00:32:46,844.478458 Don't know if they still have it there, but I imagine there are other hospitals, other urology offices, and other such services available out there where they actually talk about things like this and talk about. 354 00:32:48,74.478458 --> 00:32:49,214.478458 Proven treatment. 355 00:32:50,594.478458 --> 00:32:53,744.478458 I again, I go back to, you know, back home in the Caribbean rehab. 356 00:32:53,774.478458 --> 00:32:57,764.478458 All these things and I'm sure some of them work, but I don't know which one works. 357 00:32:57,764.478458 --> 00:32:59,54.478458 So don't ask me. 358 00:32:59,864.478458 --> 00:33:02,114.478458 Which one works on which one does it? Right. 359 00:33:02,294.478458 --> 00:33:03,464.478458 Just be careful. 360 00:33:03,644.478458 --> 00:33:15,864.478458 And especially if you're on medication for other things, sometimes some of these roots and Herb's, and things can affect the level of the medication in your bloodstream. 361 00:33:15,864.478458 --> 00:33:16,854.478458 That's required. 362 00:33:16,854.478458 --> 00:33:18,384.478458 That's another dangerous thing. 363 00:33:18,654.478458 --> 00:33:23,214.478458 So you gotta take care of your temple or help your may take care of their temple. 364 00:33:23,484.478458 --> 00:33:28,134.478458 Right? I keep saying you just in case there are some male listeners in our welcome. 365 00:33:28,464.478458 --> 00:33:29,574.478458 All listeners. 366 00:33:30,444.478458 --> 00:33:38,574.478458 Be careful, not everything purported on the internet to work, to solve all sorts of mysterious stuff. 367 00:33:38,634.478458 --> 00:33:39,594.478458 Actually work. 368 00:33:39,894.478458 --> 00:33:44,184.478458 Just be knowledgeable of the things that you are doing. 369 00:33:44,574.478458 --> 00:33:47,444.478458 Talk to your primary care physician okay. 370 00:33:48,134.478458 --> 00:33:51,284.478458 Well, we have covered a lot today. 371 00:33:51,674.478458 --> 00:33:55,814.478458 So if this podcast was informative and you enjoyed it. 372 00:33:56,174.478458 --> 00:34:08,654.478458 Please share with others that may benefit and consider a five-star rating on your platform of choice so that others may find this useful information and benefit from it as well. 373 00:34:08,654.478458 --> 00:34:13,634.478458 Again, Remember when it comes to erectile dysfunction. 374 00:34:13,964.478458 --> 00:34:17,294.478458 Keeping communication open ensures. 375 00:34:17,504.478458 --> 00:34:19,844.478458 You're always on the same page. 376 00:34:20,264.478458 --> 00:34:23,414.478458 Ready to tackle, whatever comes your way. 377 00:34:23,804.478458 --> 00:34:25,64.478458 Hand-in-hand. 378 00:34:25,454.478458 --> 00:34:28,394.478458 And heart to heart with your mate. 379 00:34:28,844.478458 --> 00:34:30,164.478458 Stay connected. 380 00:34:30,434.478458 --> 00:34:33,254.478458 And keep exploring with love. 381 00:34:36,261.1451247 --> 00:34:44,571.1451247 Well, sister, friend, I know you have choices, so I thank you for tuning into Intimacy After podcast. 382 00:34:44,991.1451247 --> 00:34:53,541.1451247 You may subscribe for bimonthly alerts or stay in the know by visiting my website@queenquanta.com. 383 00:34:53,781.1451247 --> 00:34:57,926.1451247 That's Queen Q-U-A-N-T a.com. 384 00:34:58,696.1451247 --> 00:35:07,101.1451247 Until next time, remember, a life without Intimacy is like your favorite meal without salt. 385 00:35:07,956.1451247 --> 00:35:10,576.1451247 Ladies, let's spice it up. 386 00:35:11,76.1451247 --> 00:35:14,366.1451247 Life is beautiful, and God is awesome. 387 00:35:14,936.1451247 --> 00:35:17,880.9831247 This is Queen, signing out.
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Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.