August 3, 2024 • 60 mins
Hi friends! Welcome to another episode of Laps Of Time. I’m your host, TL. Today, we're diving into a crucial topic: guarding a child's innocence in our fast-paced, modern world. We’ve got an incredible panel lined up, including Jacque, Quintá, Shanice, Zay, and Kayla, who bring a wealth of experience from various fields.
We kick things off with Jacque, who shares her extensive background in the medical and educational sectors. Quintá follows, offering insights from her 11 years in the school district and home health care experience. Shanice, an elementary educator, provides her perspective on literacy and language strategies. Zay, with his role in county programs and coaching, adds a unique angle on youth and mental health. Lastly, Kayla, a healthcare administrator, discusses her work with families affected by the criminal justice system.
Join us as we explore what innocence means, how it starts at home, and the significant role of the village in raising a child. We also tackle the impact of social media and the delicate balance between work and family life. This episode is packed with heartfelt discussions and practical advice to help you navigate these challenges. So, sit back, relax, and let's get into it!
Thanks for tuning in to Laps Of Time. Don’t forget to download, subscribe, and reach out to us on social media with any questions or comments. Have a wonderful day!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hi, and welcome to Lapse of Time. I'm your host, TL.
Today, we have a fantastic lineup of special guests, Jackie,
Quinte, Shanice, Zay, and Kayla.
We'll be discussing the crucial topic of guarding a child's innocence in today's
modern world. Stay tuned for an insightful and thought-provoking conversation.
(00:20):
Now, starting off with Miss Jackie, how are you doing today?
I'm good. How are you? Thank you for having me.
Well, you want to start off by letting us know your background?
I come with 23 years in the medical field and about 18 years of educational
experience and probably about 18 in the social service sector as well.
(00:41):
All right. Thank you so much for that. It's amazing.
Quintade, do you want to go ahead and give a little background? Hey, how you doing?
I'm good. How are you? I'm good. Been in the school district for about 11 years
and in the home health for about four years.
I began in the district in the kitchen and then worked my way up to bus aid
(01:01):
dealing with special needs and disabled children.
Later on, I went into in-house dealing with behavioral kids in the school and
currently an office specialist.
I work in the discipline office and I also in my home health aid for my elderly grandmother.
All right. Awesome. Awesome. That's amazing. amazing and Shanice
you want to go ahead and introduce yourself to the people how you doing today
(01:23):
I am doing well thank you how are you
I'm good I'm good all right my background is mainly in elementary education
with the school district I've been doing it for the past almost 10 years I started
off as a reading tutor then I became a literacy and language strategist for
English as a second language students and also students that were below grade level.
(01:46):
I am now a licensed elementary teacher.
All right. Awesome. That's amazing. Zay, you want to go ahead and introduce
yourself to the people? How are you doing on today? I'm doing good. How about yourself?
I'm all right. All right. I'm a program assistant for the county currently,
but I've been there for at least 13 years now.
I'm a jack of all trades in the county.
(02:08):
I also coach middle school and basketball, high school team at the county as well.
And then now I'm a BST worker, which means basic skills trainer,
working with youth and young adults with mental and behavioral health challenges.
All right. Thank you. That's amazing. For our last panelist,
Kayla, you want to go ahead and introduce yourself? How are you doing today?
I'm doing well. I'm a health care administrator at an integrated medical and
(02:34):
behavioral health clinic. I provide administrative support and then oversight
for the clinic and providers.
I provide direct care to parents and children who are affected by the criminal
justice and child welfare systems.
All right. I like that. Everybody here is educators and been in the school field for a long time.
(02:54):
So that just starts us off with our first question.
What does innocence mean to you all?
Starting with you, Jackie. Jackie, innocence, it's just, you know,
it's one of those words you hear and you just think of pure thoughts, right?
It's something that's innocent. It's not tainted.
Wood has gotten into it. You know, I didn't do it. It's not me.
(03:17):
That's not who I am. So when I hear the word innocence, that's the first thing I think of.
But it's also just one of those things where it's just that those immoral things
and those nasty values that the world introduce us to and people introduce us to.
So, you know, betrayal, violence, that good stuff there. So when I when I hear
(03:39):
the word innocence, that's what it means to me.
OK, I like that. Quinte, what what does innocence mean to you? too.
Working in the field that you have worked in for so long, being that you've
been around a lot of kids and you've seen a lot of things, especially in the behavior field.
Yeah, so for me, same as what Jackie was saying, also to me,
(04:00):
innocence is just being free of any guilt or corruption.
It's the pureness of the being.
No blame, no tarnish, no blemish, you know, being free of all of that.
Okay, I like that. And Shanice?
Yes. Adding to what the other two panelists have previously said,
innocence to me means not tainted in a way that they're not affected with a bad quality.
(04:25):
It's also a moral character to where it's not that they don't know about bad,
but they choose to do what they feel is the right thing.
OK, like that. Zay, how would you define innocence being in the field that you
that you are? Basically, like what everybody else said, it just means free from
(04:46):
guilt, you know, free from they're not corrupted.
They don't even know what it means. They haven't even touched reality of life
yet. You know, that's that's what that means to me. Okay, I like that.
Kayla, how would you define that?
I think when I hear innocence, I think of being pure or not yet corrupted by
(05:07):
the world systems or societal expectations that are based on your life.
Okay yeah i definitely i like how you said that as far as the societal expectations.
That just brings me to my next question then of where do you think innocence starts in,
in in a child's lives and you know not being a parent i'm sure my response will
(05:29):
be a little different from the rest of the panelists who are parents i'm gonna
say of course and i will always saying, okay, it's your perfect world,
it starts at home.
I'm probably the oldest out of everybody other panelists. And,
you know, growing up, we were taught, you know, you grow up,
you meet a man or woman, you have kids, you stay together, you bring your kids
(05:52):
up and the world is all perfect, right?
And then somehow Eve bit the apple and everything changed, right?
So she ate off the trees she wasn't supposed
to the whole world changed so we
got to see things right so that's where we lost
our innocence at and but i'm
(06:12):
gonna make sure if i see her i'm gonna have some words with her going on we
don't need to talk about right but right but it starts at home but i'm a village
person i believe that it takes a village to raise a kid because it took a village
to raise And as old as I am, as young as I think I am,
it still takes a village to raise me.
(06:35):
So it starts out right for the parents.
But as an educator, it starts from the time I start working with your kids to
the time you pick them up for me.
So I must say on a case by case basis for panelist number three,
on a case by case basis, We will say it depends on the situation of the kid.
(07:00):
The story of the kid, the environment of the kid, because a foster kid,
you know, one that came from the foster system, had no home life.
And then when I ran away, I really didn't have a home life because I was like,
these people crazy. I'm out of here.
So the streets raised me at that point. My instincts raised me and I didn't
(07:21):
know nothing. That's the blind leading the blind.
So I wanted to start at home. I love to see parents instilling their kids good
and bad, right and wrong.
But I'm also just being reminded that parenting don't always come with a book
either. So it's learning as you go.
And I think taking from that, forgive me because I will go all around the world,
(07:43):
but I'm going to land back home.
It's an everyday learning process. And some people can master it and some people
can't. So it goes back to your village and your resources.
Always tap into them. If the parent and the educator can work together to produce
that, then let's do that.
But if not, I love that it was said that if an instructor or a school changed
(08:08):
the curriculum, I want to know.
It impresses me when a parent is that involved in today's child's education
because the brain is important.
I tell people it is the computer of the body and what we put in it determines how we act.
What we see determines the results that we
give to the world so it's a
(08:29):
joint effort in the village but it should start at home
but if i get your kid and you're a bad parent it's gonna start with me if that
makes sense i like that that was beautiful and i can definitely agree on everything
you just said yeah i could think back and think about some that was my my favorite
teacher that helped in some way shape or form who else would like to go ahead
(08:51):
and answer that question.
Yeah, so for me, I agree with everything that Jackie said. I believe that education
of innocence starts at home.
For those who do have that home life, it starts at home. I believe it starts
from the time a child is born.
When a child is born, you begin to teach and educate.
That's how they learn to crawl. That's how they learn their first step.
(09:12):
They learn their first words. So that education of innocence truly starts from
the time a child is born, even in the womb.
I used to have my babies listening to, you know, alphabets, you know,
music and stuff like that.
So teaching of innocence, it starts at home.
And then as an educator, you continue that in the schoolhouse or whatever job
you have. Really, you can always teach.
(09:33):
You can always nurture the innocence of someone teaching them right from wrong.
So for me, that's where I stand. i like i
like how you pointed out as far as when the child is in the belly that's
where it starts because science believes that a child's
brain once it's developed once the ears are developed they can hear
things so that just goes back to what jackie said as far
as the brain whatever you feed it when when you start it off in the womb say
(09:56):
i believe like and so this wasn't on the specific question but i believe it
starts at home and school i believe it starts in the community as As myself
growing up in my community,
I had the community center where I went to pretty much every day.
I had a place called Club Christ where I went to every day and my parents were at work.
(10:19):
But they still yes, they still have the time out to take to nurture me, to equip me with things.
But then also it started at church where like all of my innocence,
like I said, in the community, it was the community that gave me my sense of
innocence where, yes, I have to keep it. And I'm not going to go all the way
into that and get just yet.
But I, I feel like it starts in the community at home and in school and all
(10:44):
because everybody had a part to play in my life.
So I just go back to what Jackie said as far as the village.
Kayla. Yeah, I had to take what I was going to say.
While education starts at home, a kid's ability to maintain their innocence
depends largely on what they're exposed to.
But if their innocence isn't able to be preserved at home, where there's things
(11:07):
like the child welfare system or criminal justice or just, you know, life, lifing.
I agree with Jackie that it goes back to the village and the school and the
people that you have the resources that you can pour into in order to foster
their innocence in a way that maybe they couldn't get at home.
(11:28):
Okay, that right back to the village. In my opinion, innocence starts at home,
as others have already said.
As an educator, I can try to further advise or give advice to a child through
things like social-emotional learning and the lessons that we give on characteristics of innocence,
such as always finding or looking for the good in people or the good in life,
(11:53):
or being slow to judge and quick to forgive.
And today it's ultimately up to the parent or the guardian to instill and to
continue the education of that child and to nurture their innocence.
OK, absolutely. I like how you guys are, you know, going back to the village
and in the school systems and stuff like that. That makes me think of that movie.
(12:13):
I can't remember the name, but he was the principal and he came up there and
the kids hated him at first. but may not be yeah that's the one yeah we all
know it you did not i couldn't remember the name but it's your movie.
(12:37):
Yeah that that that's what that takes me back to as far
as what jackie stated as far as it's starting in the school if they're not
around that environment then it has to
start in the school whole place and at the end of that movie we all
know what happened you know like that just takes me to our
next question you know as far as the influence that
he had on that school we have a lot of influence going
on right now as far as social media and amongst other things but social media
(13:01):
seems to be the big one that's taken us by storm as parents as educators I see
a lot of kids who are on TikTok how much influence do you guys think social
media has on a child or people in general.
I think social media has a lot of influence on a lot of things.
I mean, I go shopping a lot because of what's on social media.
(13:25):
That's my downfall. But I'm not in a place where if somebody do a twerk video,
I got a twerk challenge. I'm not into all of that.
But if somebody do something that's going to empower my mind,
my soul, then I challenge you with that all day.
So it depends on the person, what you want.
Very well good point made it depends
(13:47):
on the person however sometimes because of
the mind and i'm studying the brain right now so
i'm so fascinated by the mind because of
the way that it is designed we hit some highs and the lows our emotions is in
the front of our brain right so we hit some highs and some lows and you can
(14:08):
we can i think some of us most of us can probably relate when we're in a place
or when we're in a situation,
let's say we're in a bad mood, right?
And somebody comes up and they say some negative derogatory things to us that
don't make us feel better, right?
It helps push us to where we are already trying not to go to.
We know where we're trying to go to. We're trying not to and just pushing you there.
(14:31):
But then if we're in a good mood and somebody come and they tell the girl,
you got this, you're doing good.
That just builds you up even the more so right i take
that to social media because sometimes if you
would think you know common sense which isn't
common anymore would tell us if i'm if i'm a crackhead
and i want to stay out of drugs why would i go
(14:51):
to the crack house right all right if
i'm alcoholic trying to recover don't go to the liquor store but
all i have to do is pick up my phone and scroll and it's
right there so and i said that because i just thought
about we had an incident at work where one
of my colleagues child killed himself and
sent a text before he did it and it was
(15:13):
such a sad thing and they didn't know nothing was
wrong with him right mom that has a phd dad has a master's he was running the
physical therapy therapy program child they said it seemed like he was okay
and then so as he started to share a little bit last week you know some things
has influenced the fact that Kim is taking this on life.
(15:36):
So we can be as strong as we want. We can think we are, but if we don't have resources.
If we don't have that strong connection with our higher power,
if we don't have that strong foundation of a good parenting, a good home,
anything can influence us at that point.
So social media shouldn't, but it does. The world around does.
(16:00):
Trump influenced people just by him standing on TV talking, you know? Right.
So, you know, it's just, this is the world we live in.
I say, trust Jesus, but at the end of the day, that's my take on that.
Yeah, it's definitely not so common tomorrow, I guess, unless the Lord has given it.
So anybody else want to take that question and answer it?
(16:27):
Yeah, so for me, I mean, social media has as much influence as you allow it
to have. The more you take in, the more you're influenced.
It's like that saying, you are what you eat. The things we consume become learned
to us. They become routine.
They become habits. So I believe social media does have as much influence on
a child as you allow it to have.
That's it goes with monitoring everything that they intake and not the social
(16:51):
media, but any media for that matter.
Anything the child takes in books, the things they watch on TV,
just any of that people around them who you allow around in your atmosphere.
Everything has an influence, but as it only has as much influence as you allow it to have on.
I like that. Zae, what would you have to say about that?
(17:12):
I was listening to everybody and listening to their take on it.
And I basically believe what everybody said does depend on what you allow to be taken in.
It does depend on what you allow yourself to see. Like I could literally be
walking down the street and I hear somebody else playing a song. Right.
(17:34):
And I'm not singing a song or whatever. But then like the next day is in my mind.
And I'm like, why is this song in my mind? I didn't even play it.
But I just heard a snippet of it when the car was passing by.
Right. So I do believe that what you allow yourself to intake is what that's
the reason why social media is so big. But then also, this is how some people get.
(17:59):
This is how some people this is their life.
Right. This is big to them. If they don't have Wi-Fi, if they don't have a phone,
they don't have a laptop.
That is detrimental to them. Right. Right. So I believe that it has a big influence on our lives.
Right. It's the good and the bad is cyberbullying and giving somebody positive words.
(18:20):
Words like you get good and bad in anything but i
do believe social media definitely impacted our
lives all the way so that's what i believe i like
how you put that up as far as it being somebody's job and you know their livelihood
to just narrow down to who you let and influence you in that space because they
can be good influencers and bad influencers i've seen some good ones i've seen
(18:42):
some bad ones oh it also brings like say we watching tiktok right you see a a food
channel right and you see like they made some
breaded pasta like they put the chicken on
there and all this other stuff and then it starts to influence your
your taste ability where you like oh i gotta try that i
gotta try that because that looks good so just from
(19:04):
that right i can tell that it
influences us because i look at it i'll be like i need to go get these recipes
right now so right so i
just make me hungry yes most definitely yeah all
right so nathan so in regards to
a child's innocence i think social media has
as much influence on them as is allowed so like the more or the less the exposure
(19:30):
the more or the less the influence so monitoring a child's social media intake
as far as what and for how long they're watching something i think impacts their influence.
And so it kind of goes back to.
Music.
(19:51):
If they jump off a bridge, are you going to jump off a bridge too?
So although you may be exposed to certain content or certain things,
it's up to a parent or a guardian to inform them of what is right and what is
wrong and to protect their innocence.
And so as they grow up, they can make the proper decisions on, no, that's not it.
(20:11):
I shouldn't be influenced by this or I should be influenced by this.
Gotcha. So no monkey see monkey do on this side of the street, right?
Right. Copycat number two. too right what if
that breeze got water under it you're gonna right turn
oh you're a good swimmer i'm definitely not
(20:32):
a good that's a hard impact but i never said how deep the the bridge how far
up the bridge was that's true that's true it's all about perspective i guess
perspective yeah And then that's the thing that I wanted to add to that.
Also, we can't control, even you guys who have children, you can't control the
(20:53):
decisions that they're going to make, right?
You can only just show them. But also, I like the part how I've seen some teach
their kids that, okay, I'm not going to yell at you because you did what you
did, but now you see the consequences.
So if you make this choice, I'm not going to tell you not to make this choice,
(21:14):
but I'm going to tell you this could happen, this could happen, and that could happen.
So now you have all the choices you need or the consequences that might happen.
So now I will hope that you will make the wise choice.
But if you don't, just be prepared for the consequences that's going to come from that.
Absolutely. Jackie, let me piggyback. Let me piggyback. See. Okay.
(21:35):
In regards to like a social media and with YouTube, right?
So my kid likes to watch the kids YouTube. And so a lot of the stuff on the
kids YouTube, she will try to come back and do.
And so I tell her that's not what we do here.
So like you may see them do that, but that's not what I'm teaching you to do. Right.
(21:57):
So yes, you go ahead and watch it, but don't let it influence your character
because that's not what I'm teaching you how to be.
So I might block it I don't know how she'd be unblocking stuff but you know so you might block,
some of the influence so that way it'll lessen the influence but yes I just
want to piggyback off of what you said Kayla yeah it's been important for me
(22:21):
to understand my kid is going to be her own kid so eventually she's going to
grow up and think for herself or make her own decisions.
As far as social media is concerned, our minds aren't made to consume information 24-7.
We're meant to be outside and connected with other people and in the sun,
(22:41):
like not behind a screen.
And so with the prevalence of social media or YouTube or chat forums or gaming
or things like that, like we're no longer encouraged to think for ourselves.
It's kind of like someone is giving me the information, someone is giving me
news, someone is giving me their opinion.
And so it's influencing the way in which we live our lives or perceive the world
(23:04):
to be versus being encouraged to
do our own research, to create our own thoughts, to think for ourselves.
And so it's been important for me that if I'm on social media,
that I'm following people who not
necessarily align with my views because I think that it's important
for you to understand that the world is not a think tank
(23:26):
and you know it not everybody thinks the same way that
I do exactly but understanding that if
I'm being influenced negatively through whatever they're saying then like it's
okay to unfollow them or unplug and I think that's something that I've worked
hard with like my family's on and my teenagers on especially is like giving
(23:47):
them the freedom and permission to unfollow, to unplug,
or to delete social media off of their phones or disconnect from the expectation
that you're only acceptable in society if you're engaged in TikTok or Instagram
or if you have X amount of followers.
Their value doesn't come from the likes or follows that they have,
(24:07):
but just through their inherent worth.
Kids are influenced by their parents' decisions. So whether it's social media
or alcohol or whatever the decision is, my kid would be impacted by that.
If I don't drink, but I'm on social media 12 hours a day, then that becomes
a normal or that becomes their baseline expectation for what you should do.
(24:28):
Just goes back to teaching what I
believe is best and why and then
encouraging her or allowing her to ask questions
and be curious so often growing up it's just like this is the answer because
I said so but then that doesn't encourage me to create like a thought process
for myself or to create a value system or a structure that I believe if I say
(24:52):
I don't want you watching this because or here are the consequences that could
come from your behavior.
It's important to me that they're able to ask questions and get an understanding
so that they can make an informed decision the next time that they go log on
to YouTube or to go play with friends or whatever.
How have I explained the consequences of that?
(25:13):
And then not reprimanding them per se if they make a choice that's different than mine,
but saying like, these are the consequences of the
decision that you made even though I told you
that that could have happened right and as
far as the because I told you so yeah that definitely reigned
in our household by and by like the
(25:34):
old folks say you'll get it when you get older so yeah that's definitely something
I'm learning as a parent don't say because I told you so like because it doesn't
really help them someone said something like kids are humans too I don't want
my boss saying like do this because I told you so I want to understand so that
I can learn and do better in the future.
Right. I want to acknowledge that like he's a human and has her own thought
(25:58):
processes and that her life or her adult life will be impacted by her childhood.
And so who do I have influencing her? What is she exposed to and what information
am I providing her to trust that she's smart enough?
I think we undermine the intelligence of kids a lot where kids are able to take
on or understand a lot more than we give them credit for.
(26:19):
And so helping them to hone in that knowledge and intelligence in a productive
and healthy manner, I think, is important.
Absolutely. As far as work goes, Kayla said she wouldn't want her boss at work
to tell her, do this because I told you so.
That just gets me to our next question of work and balancing work and family life.
(26:41):
And not just for parents, but for educators as well, like how can we,
as parents, as educators, as a village, balance our work demands as well as
the quality time with our children?
Because we see that in this day and age and in America,
we're not valued as much as educators,
as parents, as a village to be able to take time off or spend time with our
(27:06):
kids versus every other country has maternity leave for moms and dads. for up to three years?
Well, for me, as a parent, I work 12 hours a day, seven days a week.
So it's a battle. But ultimately, you have to make that time,
not only outside of work, but even during my workday, you have 30 minute breaks,
(27:28):
you have 15 minute breaks.
So just taking time out to call my kid, check up on them, see how their day
is going, how they're doing, just seeing where they're at, you know,
what's going on with them.
So I believe making time and And also setting personal time,
even if it's just them helping with dinner around the house,
watching a movie or a show with them, letting your child know that you're present no matter what.
(27:50):
I believe that that plays a big part in how they're influenced because working
in the school, I see a lot of kids that don't have a present parent.
You know, their parents are constantly working or they're not at home.
Their kids are raising younger siblings or they're taking care of themselves.
You know, so at that point, they've grown up so fast, their mentality is grown.
(28:10):
So I believe that being present in your child's life and taking that time out
with them, it plays a big part in how they're influenced and where their innocence
goes, because a child raising themselves, their innocence is taken from them.
You know, they had to grow up too fast.
So I believe just making that time, no matter what, letting your kid know that
you're present, you're there, plays a big part.
(28:32):
I don't have kids, so I would say always the village, be a part of the village
I am because I'm a godparent, I'm a TT, I'm a whole bunch of things.
So your resources is a big part of, like Quintay said, she worked 12-hour days.
(28:54):
So if there's a village, people in her village that when her kids were younger
that she could reach out to, then that's that's what you have to do as a parent.
But also being selective about who's in your village because you don't want
the wrong people in for a sentence.
You know, your kids, when you're trying to teach them and get them in the right place.
(29:20):
I just believe that I got to make it intentional.
I have to want to prioritize my child and give the time that she needs.
I have to want to be there. And I'm learning that now.
I didn't always have that. I would come home and sit on my game and play it
(29:41):
multiple times in the hours of the day. But I didn't understand that my child needed me there.
My child needed me to spend some quality time with her. Right.
Until now, where I see that you don't know how much of time that you have,
especially in this world we live in now. out.
Right. So you have to make every opportunity meaningful.
(30:03):
And that's that's what I truly believe. Growing up in my household, we we we ate together.
We sat at the table together and we ate together, even if it was a movie on.
If we didn't have movies on, you know, my mom makes some great food. But OK.
And so just that right there, I remember that because that was something important
(30:25):
to me where we actually spent time.
We play Monopoly together. We play like games together.
They, they dislike me till this day about Monopoly, but we, we did all these
things together and I seen that it was very important for me.
Right. So I have to take that same thing and put it into my daughter where I
have to take every opportunity I have, because I don't know how long I will
(30:48):
have those opportunities.
So yeah, I believe that we
need to have that balance in our lives leave work and
work and come home and be at home i like
how you said um you know you you make it intentional i
do believe that whatever we love we we make time for so whatever gets the most
of our attention you might love it too much but that's what jonathan mcreynolds
(31:12):
said he said i i find uh uh what did he say yes that's it that's it that's the song,
But I find places to put what's important to me.
I make room for it. I prioritize it in my life.
So if it's important to me, then I got to prioritize it. So if my child is important
(31:33):
to me, then I have to prioritize her time because it's important to her and me.
That's just like that Indie Minio song, Priority. Whenever you spend the most
time with her, she needs her. She's nice. Sorry.
Not her, she's, it caught me off guard. Okay.
So from my experience, how to balance the work and then also quality time with
(31:59):
my child is time management.
So in the Bible, like in the book of Ecclesiastics, chapter three tells us that
there's a time for everything.
And so even though we sometimes have to bring work home or you have work on
the brain, we have to know how to...
(32:20):
Music.
It also goes with what Zay said about knowing how to disconnect.
And so you have to disconnect from work and detach so that the work isn't on your brain.
And that way you could or can effectively give that quality time.
(32:43):
Because if you have other stuff on your brain or you're thinking about other
things, then it's no longer quality time. You're just spending time.
Right. I like that. You're just spending time.
You're not really here. you're not even there's no substance to it you know
yeah there's no fruit like what are you doing you just have to be present not
just yeah in the presence exactly otherwise you're just around just like you
(33:06):
you babysit but not in the water places you feel me.
Hey what i think with like work-life balance it gets done said it goes back
to your priorities priorities and like blocking out time or putting my time
where it's most important to me.
(33:29):
I only get one chance to parent my kid. And so while work may be pressing or
I may have school deadlines or you know, any other things, I think I have to
set myself aside and set what I want to do aside,
in lieu of what I need to do.
And so you determine what your needs and wants are based on whatever your priorities are.
(33:50):
So my needs are to make sure that I'm raising a balanced and healthy kid and
everything else comes second to that.
And so still being responsible and doing my work when I'm supposed to,
but making sure that I put time in my schedule to take care of my kid's needs,
make sure that she's heard, make sure that my family is taken care of,
that my relationship is taken care of.
(34:12):
All of that just goes on scheduling.
Somebody said, you know, we all have the same amount of time in a day as like
bill gates or oprah and so if they can right they do then who am i to say that
like i don't have enough time to get things done i think it's just a matter
of what am i willing to sacrifice of myself to get the results that i want to see,
(34:34):
in my family absolutely i kind of
break that down you got 24 hours in a day you know so you
just got to choose them wisely choose how you're gonna spend them
so it's a schedule go by your schedule don't feel bad about
a schedule Jesus was saying as far as Ecclesiastes 3 and there's time for all
things that just takes me back to the teachings of Jesus as far as innocence
(34:55):
goes and I feel like he defined innocence in such a way that it kind of just
sums it all up for us as adults and how
would you guys define Jesus teaching about becoming like little children in
order to see the kingdom of heaven relate to the topic that we're talking about today.
(35:16):
I think that comes from, I'm a speaker about humility and obedience.
Also true because Jesus said that we have to become like children to even enter the kingdom of heaven.
Right. So that means no matter how old we get in age, in spirit, we have to stay humble.
(35:38):
We have to stay obedient. Right. We have to be truthful and we have to maintain
our spirit. And no matter what happened, we still got to acknowledge God and
we got to let him direct our paths. That's kind of what a care does, right?
Kind of like you kid got to do that part kind of what mom and daddy say, right?
(35:59):
Because, I mean, we could say no, we can have conversations, right?
But at the end of the day, we still got to do what mommy and daddy say,
right? We just got some type of understanding.
And that's what the Bible said. and all i get and we to get understand
it right right so that's kind of how we have
to stay along the lines that's why i always tell people
(36:20):
even though i'm 25 spiritually but
always be probably 12 or 13 you
know somewhere up in there because i want to miss the cutoff
age you know to make it in in the
head you know so that's the good thing about you know
serving god our age and numbers don't matter
right god could care less about
(36:41):
the number i matter of fact as of today i don't even got
no more birthdays right because it don't even matter how
many birthdays right every day
is a gift every every moment of breath is
of life is a blessing so it's a birthday right so i started i'm 25 every day
at this point you know so but we have to stay humble okay peter pan thank you
(37:05):
I bet you Peter Pan made it to heaven because he stayed like a child the whole time.
I'm a boy Willie Walker too the chocolate factory probably up in heaven waiting
on me too I'm just saying hey.
Don't go right there she just trying to get that Hershey's that's it right there don't forget,
(37:27):
donation but we have to
stay humble we have to stay in spirit and
truth and we have to remember that you know
god is our father jesus is our intercessor so
at the end of the day we still gotta follow protocol we
gotta follow trade and command but we have to stay obedient so this is why we
have to keep that word hidden in our heart kind of remind me that's how kids
(37:50):
we we want to please our parents so we remember what they say do right right
so i have to remember the scriptures and remember the words and i have to remember
what the lord say because Because then I have that way I can stay low.
I can stay right. I can stay open to being taught and corrected.
I can, you know, if I get rebuked, then I know how to take it.
So I think those are that's the part to me of that right there.
(38:15):
Yeah, I agree with Jackie, you know, and the humbleness and the obedience.
And I believe, too, as a child, you're more open and you're eager for learning
things, things that you don't know because you haven't been tainted by the morals
and the values of the world yet or set in your ways as most of us adults are.
When we get up in our older age and we just get kind of set,
(38:35):
I believe that, you know, children, they're moldable because of their innocence.
You know, they don't know any wrong until they're introduced to it,
you know, by learning from outer experiences or being introduced to it from
outer experiences or influences at home.
So as adults, I believe that we have to go back to that stage of being unlearned
so that we can learn the teachings of Jesus.
(38:56):
I believe as a kid, you're moldable, you're teachable, and you're willing to
learn, you know, so that we have to, as adults, get back to that place.
Okay. Anybody else? I mean, as a kid in learning, you don't have,
I know it attitude, right?
Right. With Jesus, the reason why he said come as a child is because they're
(39:18):
humble, they're open, and they're like sponges.
You can play Mozart's on on your stomach or whatever if you're pregnant and
the child will come out smart, even though that's just like a like a thing that people say.
But I believe that kids are just like a sponge.
I believe what everybody just said, because not to revert back to the same answers
(39:41):
that they gave, but children just sit and listen. They want to learn.
Just knowing this for myself and watching my child. She she loves to learn new things.
She gets excited about it. And that's how I feel like Jesus wants us to get
excited about what he's teaching, to get excited about what he's given to us to learn.
(40:03):
Come on and preach now. So I feel like that's what it is, you know,
and that's the reason why Jesus wants us to come as it's because they're. Hey, Mr. Preacher, man.
All right. Who next? Don't jump in all at one time. I'm jumping.
I believe. OK. laughter.
I believe that the two relate in regards to how Jesus was trying to teach his
(40:25):
disciples and how I'm trying to teach my child that one needs to be unpretentious
in regards to how it defines as not trying to impress others and being modest.
So it's not about what others are doing or what they have to say that matters,
but instead what is the type of person I'm striving to be or how does God see me?
(40:48):
And so being humble and modest just speaks to a person's character.
Like I said before, with how I defined innocence, it's a moral character.
And like Matthews 5 and 3 says, we have to be poor in spirit.
We have to be in a humble place in order to see God. So if I'm not in a humble
place, then how can I see?
(41:09):
You right girl you better say that yes you
you recognize that you need help you recognize just
like a child they if they know they can't do something they'll.
Ask for help they're like okay i can't do this that's how we got to
be with the lord you know lord i can't do this by myself you help
me kayla yeah i think
being like little children forces us to be
(41:30):
humble or to be teachable i think
kids inherently just trust what's told
to them at face value and i
think in the same way that like a parent or
an educator or a village or you know
family member wouldn't turn
away a kid if they're asking questions i think kids don't
(41:52):
think to like not ask questions everything is just
like why or you know what is this and i think we have
to take the same approach when we're seeking
our relationship with jesus or trying to get into
the kingdom is just like how can i do
what you're doing what can i do my daughter often
says like i want to be a grown-up like you you know i'm like
(42:14):
well it comes with a lot but maintaining my
humility and my ability to be
teachable or to hear the opinions of other people in order to get to heaven
and encouraging like her Her excitement in the world is the same excitement
that I need to foster for myself in Jesus of like, how can I build a relationship?
(42:40):
How can I grow up in you, but in a way that like, I still remain humble and
pure and without influence of the world.
I like that because that takes me back to the scripture and the story of Jesus.
He got left behind and he was in the synagogue sitting and asking questions as a child.
(43:02):
Like you said, it just goes back to children are open. They like to ask questions. They want to know.
And I feel like that's the part as adults in the body of Christ that we have
to get back to and not being afraid and not being afraid to ask those questions. There you go.
(43:47):
Home or maybe they're in a single parent home or parent parents are divorced
or, you know, whatever, you know, how can we pour into them?
I say we should always, like you said, we touched on working as a team, right?
It's like communication, that collaborative effort, recognizing that there is an issue.
I feel like a lot of times the educators shouldn't have to initiate because
(44:08):
I'm sure parents can see where there's a problem with their own child, right?
Right. But sometimes, remember, we say it's so common so that we have people
still leaving kids in hot cars.
Exactly. You know, so I'm going to put it in the right thing.
And so it's just it's ultimately crazy to me.
However, I still believe in the communication.
(44:28):
I remember when I taught kindergarten, we used to do the notebooks and I used to send a notebook home.
Mom had to read it, send it right back to me.
And that's how I kept the communication open so
I can know what mom is teaching at home she can know
what I'm teaching at school consistency is the key right right and so statistics
(44:50):
say take us to do something three times or more before it becomes a habit exactly
therefore so I can consistently do this thing but a lot of times as educators
we're paid to persist is to redo it.
Parents are kind of optional for that.
So, if they choose not to do it, then the ball gets dropped.
(45:11):
So, I'm going to stick with it needs to be a collaborative effort of effective,
good, clear, concise communication, lots of prayer, right?
And just being hopeful.
Okay. Okay. Yeah, I'm with Jackie on that.
So prayer does work and it does help us to protect our innocence of our children.
(45:35):
And just as a parent, I feel like I could protect my child by knowing and being
aware of what they're taking in and just instilling in them the morals and values
of life and teaching my child right from wrong and how to apply that in their
life and just to be independent and followers, but leaders.
You know, a lot of kids these days, they're so they're so I mean,
(45:58):
to the peer pressures of the world and being pressured by friends and what they're doing.
So just instilling in being a leader and not a follower.
And as an educator, you know, realizing that not everyone has the same morals
and values that, you know, not everybody is getting that same teaching that I'm getting.
And not everybody has the same upbringing that I had, but still being able to
(46:20):
teach my students right from wrong and leading by example,
you know, letting them see if you do this, this is what the outcome can be,
you know, just being that example for them and getting to know them,
learning their behaviors, learning their households.
Learning who they are and where they come from.
You know, it helps to know that it helps to grow a relationship with them so
(46:42):
that you are able to have that type of relationship.
Well, they will be like, oh, hey, miss, you know, I learned this from you or,
you know, because you show me this, I want to do better, you know,
or I learn from my mistakes, you know, because I get that a lot,
you know, dealing with my students.
And when I had them in in-house, you know, because of my life experience,
you know, I was able to kind of help them and share some things like,
(47:04):
hey, look, this is what I went through when I was younger. but look at me now.
So you don't have to stay on that path. You can learn from your mistakes and
things can be better in your life.
Like you don't have to continue down that path that you're going.
You can be better. I like that.
There was a saying that it said that a smart man learns from his mistakes,
(47:25):
but a wise man learns from somebody else's mistakes.
And just by hearing what Quante said, I was just thinking about that.
And that kept that popped into my mind where I by protecting my child,
I can give my child everything that I know to be right. Right.
And hopefully by me giving my child everything that I know to be right,
(47:47):
that they go out. And when I give them the morals and the values that we uphold
in the family, hopefully they take it with them into their family whenever they get a family.
I don't believe that I can protect them, but I believe that I can give them
the knowledge to help them in learning what protection is, if you get what I mean. Absolutely.
(48:09):
Like the tools and the equipment to do what they need to do,
like just like God does for us. I'm just like God does for the woman of God,
you know, my pastor, where she gives us equipment that God has given her to give to us.
Right. And to equip us to go out into the world and do what we need to do.
Right. The protection is God.
(48:31):
But we're just given the information to you so that you can follow the directions,
hopefully, that I gave you. But that's what I believe.
I like that. That definitely ties it all in.
And then also, it does take a village, like Jackie said, because there's a lot
of things that I don't know that somebody else might know.
(48:53):
Right. My daughter, she goes to Taekwondo and she learns all these movements.
She learns what this means. She learns what that means. I can't teach you that
because I don't know that.
Right. Exactly. But it's all based on how she puts it to use.
My wife, she teaches her things that I don't know where she comes and tells
me and I'm like, oh, OK, that's what's up. You know, where, like I said,
(49:14):
like it does take a village.
So I agree with Jackie on that. Yeah, that that that village really helps any one of you.
OK, so when I hear or think about the word preserve, it means that you're trying
to maintain the state that they're already in.
So as an educator i don't believe that i set out to preserve the innocence of
(49:39):
a child per se but i'm there to assist in nurturing them as they grow because they will have.
One way maybe in my classroom or at school and then they leave and go into different
environments So it's like not my job in a way to maintain their innocence,
(50:03):
but to assist them and guiding them so that way when they are out and about,
they can think on the things that we talked about before.
And so as a parent, one has to be aware and use wisdom when it comes to protecting
and preserving their child's innocence.
As a parent, I can also do my best to teach my child what is right from what is wrong.
(50:29):
When they have questions, I can listen to them and try not to just project like
what I've been through, my opinions,
but also educate and to explain or discuss the consequences of actions,
whether they may be good or bad in a way that they may understand.
Understand and it goes back to the social
(50:50):
media question and the influence that it has so
I can't just block a content or tell
my kid that no you can't watch that but let them know why maybe what they're
seeing is not something that we morally see as right and so I also have I have
(51:11):
to remember that not everyone has the same morals and values.
So it goes back to innocence starting at home and that it is the influence of
the parent that matters most.
And I can see why some parents may want to, including myself.
Want to homeschool their child because of they want to preserve their morals
(51:36):
or their innocence of the child that they have instilled in them.
Okay, I like that answer because they're not going to be innocent forever.
We understand that. And we know that with a child, they have to grow up.
They have to know things. That goes back to what Jackie said, communication.
And then that's something you just want to continue to pour into them is communicating
with them and giving them the tools and letting them know, hey,
(51:57):
like, yeah, you can do that. You can jump off this bridge.
And do you see that pavement down there?
You can either get hurt or you can die or who knows, maybe all your bones are
breaking. You still live.
But I'm telling you right now, don't jump off that bridge.
(52:18):
Don't be no motivational speaker, OK? Yeah, I'm not one. I'll leave that to Jackie.
I think you did a great job explaining that. Throw it all in. Cap.
Kayla. Similar to what Shanice said, I don't feel like it's a responsibility
of an educator to maintain my kids' innocence.
(52:41):
I think having communication with the educators are important.
And kids get influenced by friends and teachers, sports coaches,
social media, church leadership kids at the store like
there are just so many places where they're influenced so
taking time to understand
what they're being exposed to understand the curriculum
(53:03):
that they're learning like with sports knowing what are the things that you're
teaching am i allowed to be there and then deciding what are things that i'm
comfortable with because my convictions and my My morals may be different than
those of the educators or those in the school district or whatever.
And so making a concerted effort to guard her innocence and what I'm comfortable
(53:29):
with her understanding or knowing while she still exists as part of this world.
Also at work, if there are parents or families that don't understand or haven't
been taught how to guard their kids in a sense,
then it's my responsibility to educate and then empower parents to take an active
(53:52):
role in their kids' lives.
And so if you weren't given that example or you haven't seen it before,
then can I give you a second point of reference to follow either now or later?
It's difficult to acknowledge that things may not be perfect.
And so while I don't expect for anybody to make immediate changes,
(54:13):
I do hope that the information or the resources that I provide allows them to
at least do some self-reflection and adjust in a way that aligns with their
morals and their convictions and the things that they believe are best.
But I think if they've never seen it, then how can they teach it?
And so just being open to here's how I teach, here's how someone else may teach,
(54:38):
here's how somebody else may do this, and then allowing them the.
Time and space to be able to make those changes for what they feel is best in their family unit.
Absolutely. I know you stated that recently you took out your child from,
you know, a certain institute because of their particular beliefs, right?
(55:02):
Yeah, I think I've always made it a point to understand the curriculum and the things that
like she's being taught and so when we were notified that the curriculum was
changing and it was it's always presented so nicely of like you know we've invested
in this great thing and you know we're so excited and you know we're getting
(55:22):
new books and we're gonna have a whole new library.
Like it's I felt like it was my job to then go through the book list you know
if they're going to give me the resource then I might as well go through and
see what books are you trying to teach What are you,
you know, what are you shifting the curriculum and then making a conscious choice
of that no longer aligns with my belief system or what I believe she should
(55:46):
be learning at her age. Exactly.
And then pulling her from that school and saying, you know what,
we're going to shift the way that our life looks and we're going to go from
me working full time and you being in a school program full time to me homeschooling
full time until we found a program
that aligns with our value system and we're going to allow her to go.
(56:06):
And if that no longer aligns with us and at the end of the year,
then we'll change and we'll shift to a new thing.
But I think making a conscious choice of what am I allowing my kid to consume
and what influence am I allowing the adults in her life to have over her?
And even if the teachers and I align on a lot of beliefs, if there's a school
(56:29):
system pushing a particular curriculum, then there's nothing that,
you know, they may be able to do.
If a teacher's off work and an assistant teacher steps in, I can't protect her
if I'm making a conscious decision to allow her to stay in her school.
Then I'm passively allowing her to consume the information that they're letting
(56:55):
me know that they're teaching.
Exactly. You knowing it, you're aware of it, and you do nothing about it, basically.
Can't let nobody come on your territory and change your belief.
I thank you guys for joining me on today, though.
Did anybody else have any comments or any questions? I just want to say one thing before I go.
I was listening to Kayla speak and it just came to me.
(57:18):
There are so many people who did not finish high school and still were successful
in life. Education is important.
But spiritual edification is even more important because this is a temporary
home. We're not going to be here forever.
This is a journey to get to where we're going to be forever, for eternity.
(57:40):
So I have learned not to put so much into education, worldly education,
because it only going to take you so far. Right.
I haven't seen anybody use 10 degrees to preserve their life.
Or anything else along with it but i've seen people read the bible and live
(58:03):
it and they got them over through a whole lot of storms right trouble water
drowning bridges sinking sand,
all of that so i'm not a parent right but i will say and i will speak to knowledge is power,
but the right knowledge is even more powerful right so i just wanted to say that to the parents.
(58:28):
Because I believe homeschooling is a great thing because you control what you're
feeling in the brain. That's it.
So then you know that your child can walk the way that it should because you
know what you fed it. Going back to we are what we eat.
So I just wanted to say that.
(58:49):
Thank you for that. Yeah, I like how you put that because that's what I was
thinking too too, when she was talking about that, like you if you are aware
of what's going in your child's mouth, then if it's not OK with you,
if it's not aligning with you, let's remove it.
Let's let's figure something out. Let's change some things around and let's
rearrange some things. So I commend you for that.
A lot of parents don't don't think that that's important, but that that's definitely important.
(59:15):
And did anybody else have any questions or any comments before we wrap this up?
Just thank you for having me had a
good time all right i had a great time with everybody
i appreciate you guys for joining me i appreciate you guys
giving me your time um and joining me on our first episode hopefully many more
this wraps this up guys thank you for joining us panelist one was jackie panelist
(59:40):
two was quente panelist three was shanice panelist four was Zay and Panelist 5 with Kayla.
If you guys have any questions for them or any comments, feel free to send us
a message or reach out on social media.
And just thank you guys for listening and continue to download and subscribe.
(01:00:02):
Thank you guys for tuning in. This is Lapse of Time. Have a great day.
Hi, and welcome to Lapse of Time. I'm your host, TL.
Today, we have a fantastic lineup of special guests, Jackie,
Quinte, Shanice, Zay, and Kayla.
We'll be discussing the crucial topic of guarding a child's innocence in today's
modern world. Stay tuned for an insightful and thought-provoking conversation.
(00:20):
Now, starting off with Miss Jackie, how are you doing today?
I'm good. How are you? Thank you for having me.
Well, you want to start off by letting us know your background?
I come with 23 years in the medical field and about 18 years of educational
experience and probably about 18 in the social service sector as well.
(00:41):
All right. Thank you so much for that. It's amazing.
Quintade, do you want to go ahead and give a little background? Hey, how you doing?
I'm good. How are you? I'm good. Been in the school district for about 11 years
and in the home health for about four years.
I began in the district in the kitchen and then worked my way up to bus aid
(01:01):
dealing with special needs and disabled children.
Later on, I went into in-house dealing with behavioral kids in the school and
currently an office specialist.
I work in the discipline office and I also in my home health aid for my elderly grandmother.
All right. Awesome. Awesome. That's amazing. amazing and Shanice
you want to go ahead and introduce yourself to the people how you doing today
(01:23):
I am doing well thank you how are you
I'm good I'm good all right my background is mainly in elementary education
with the school district I've been doing it for the past almost 10 years I started
off as a reading tutor then I became a literacy and language strategist for
English as a second language students and also students that were below grade level.
(01:46):
I am now a licensed elementary teacher.
All right. Awesome. That's amazing. Zay, you want to go ahead and introduce
yourself to the people? How are you doing on today? I'm doing good. How about yourself?
I'm all right. All right. I'm a program assistant for the county currently,
but I've been there for at least 13 years now.
I'm a jack of all trades in the county.
(02:08):
I also coach middle school and basketball, high school team at the county as well.
And then now I'm a BST worker, which means basic skills trainer,
working with youth and young adults with mental and behavioral health challenges.
All right. Thank you. That's amazing. For our last panelist,
Kayla, you want to go ahead and introduce yourself? How are you doing today?
I'm doing well. I'm a health care administrator at an integrated medical and
(02:34):
behavioral health clinic. I provide administrative support and then oversight
for the clinic and providers.
I provide direct care to parents and children who are affected by the criminal
justice and child welfare systems.
All right. I like that. Everybody here is educators and been in the school field for a long time.
(02:54):
So that just starts us off with our first question.
What does innocence mean to you all?
Starting with you, Jackie. Jackie, innocence, it's just, you know,
it's one of those words you hear and you just think of pure thoughts, right?
It's something that's innocent. It's not tainted.
Wood has gotten into it. You know, I didn't do it. It's not me.
(03:17):
That's not who I am. So when I hear the word innocence, that's the first thing I think of.
But it's also just one of those things where it's just that those immoral things
and those nasty values that the world introduce us to and people introduce us to.
So, you know, betrayal, violence, that good stuff there. So when I when I hear
(03:39):
the word innocence, that's what it means to me.
OK, I like that. Quinte, what what does innocence mean to you? too.
Working in the field that you have worked in for so long, being that you've
been around a lot of kids and you've seen a lot of things, especially in the behavior field.
Yeah, so for me, same as what Jackie was saying, also to me,
(04:00):
innocence is just being free of any guilt or corruption.
It's the pureness of the being.
No blame, no tarnish, no blemish, you know, being free of all of that.
Okay, I like that. And Shanice?
Yes. Adding to what the other two panelists have previously said,
innocence to me means not tainted in a way that they're not affected with a bad quality.
(04:25):
It's also a moral character to where it's not that they don't know about bad,
but they choose to do what they feel is the right thing.
OK, like that. Zay, how would you define innocence being in the field that you
that you are? Basically, like what everybody else said, it just means free from
(04:46):
guilt, you know, free from they're not corrupted.
They don't even know what it means. They haven't even touched reality of life
yet. You know, that's that's what that means to me. Okay, I like that.
Kayla, how would you define that?
I think when I hear innocence, I think of being pure or not yet corrupted by
(05:07):
the world systems or societal expectations that are based on your life.
Okay yeah i definitely i like how you said that as far as the societal expectations.
That just brings me to my next question then of where do you think innocence starts in,
in in a child's lives and you know not being a parent i'm sure my response will
(05:29):
be a little different from the rest of the panelists who are parents i'm gonna
say of course and i will always saying, okay, it's your perfect world,
it starts at home.
I'm probably the oldest out of everybody other panelists. And,
you know, growing up, we were taught, you know, you grow up,
you meet a man or woman, you have kids, you stay together, you bring your kids
(05:52):
up and the world is all perfect, right?
And then somehow Eve bit the apple and everything changed, right?
So she ate off the trees she wasn't supposed
to the whole world changed so we
got to see things right so that's where we lost
our innocence at and but i'm
(06:12):
gonna make sure if i see her i'm gonna have some words with her going on we
don't need to talk about right but right but it starts at home but i'm a village
person i believe that it takes a village to raise a kid because it took a village
to raise And as old as I am, as young as I think I am,
it still takes a village to raise me.
(06:35):
So it starts out right for the parents.
But as an educator, it starts from the time I start working with your kids to
the time you pick them up for me.
So I must say on a case by case basis for panelist number three,
on a case by case basis, We will say it depends on the situation of the kid.
(07:00):
The story of the kid, the environment of the kid, because a foster kid,
you know, one that came from the foster system, had no home life.
And then when I ran away, I really didn't have a home life because I was like,
these people crazy. I'm out of here.
So the streets raised me at that point. My instincts raised me and I didn't
(07:21):
know nothing. That's the blind leading the blind.
So I wanted to start at home. I love to see parents instilling their kids good
and bad, right and wrong.
But I'm also just being reminded that parenting don't always come with a book
either. So it's learning as you go.
And I think taking from that, forgive me because I will go all around the world,
(07:43):
but I'm going to land back home.
It's an everyday learning process. And some people can master it and some people
can't. So it goes back to your village and your resources.
Always tap into them. If the parent and the educator can work together to produce
that, then let's do that.
But if not, I love that it was said that if an instructor or a school changed
(08:08):
the curriculum, I want to know.
It impresses me when a parent is that involved in today's child's education
because the brain is important.
I tell people it is the computer of the body and what we put in it determines how we act.
What we see determines the results that we
give to the world so it's a
(08:29):
joint effort in the village but it should start at home
but if i get your kid and you're a bad parent it's gonna start with me if that
makes sense i like that that was beautiful and i can definitely agree on everything
you just said yeah i could think back and think about some that was my my favorite
teacher that helped in some way shape or form who else would like to go ahead
(08:51):
and answer that question.
Yeah, so for me, I agree with everything that Jackie said. I believe that education
of innocence starts at home.
For those who do have that home life, it starts at home. I believe it starts
from the time a child is born.
When a child is born, you begin to teach and educate.
That's how they learn to crawl. That's how they learn their first step.
(09:12):
They learn their first words. So that education of innocence truly starts from
the time a child is born, even in the womb.
I used to have my babies listening to, you know, alphabets, you know,
music and stuff like that.
So teaching of innocence, it starts at home.
And then as an educator, you continue that in the schoolhouse or whatever job
you have. Really, you can always teach.
(09:33):
You can always nurture the innocence of someone teaching them right from wrong.
So for me, that's where I stand. i like i
like how you pointed out as far as when the child is in the belly that's
where it starts because science believes that a child's
brain once it's developed once the ears are developed they can hear
things so that just goes back to what jackie said as far
as the brain whatever you feed it when when you start it off in the womb say
(09:56):
i believe like and so this wasn't on the specific question but i believe it
starts at home and school i believe it starts in the community as As myself
growing up in my community,
I had the community center where I went to pretty much every day.
I had a place called Club Christ where I went to every day and my parents were at work.
(10:19):
But they still yes, they still have the time out to take to nurture me, to equip me with things.
But then also it started at church where like all of my innocence,
like I said, in the community, it was the community that gave me my sense of
innocence where, yes, I have to keep it. And I'm not going to go all the way
into that and get just yet.
But I, I feel like it starts in the community at home and in school and all
(10:44):
because everybody had a part to play in my life.
So I just go back to what Jackie said as far as the village.
Kayla. Yeah, I had to take what I was going to say.
While education starts at home, a kid's ability to maintain their innocence
depends largely on what they're exposed to.
But if their innocence isn't able to be preserved at home, where there's things
(11:07):
like the child welfare system or criminal justice or just, you know, life, lifing.
I agree with Jackie that it goes back to the village and the school and the
people that you have the resources that you can pour into in order to foster
their innocence in a way that maybe they couldn't get at home.
(11:28):
Okay, that right back to the village. In my opinion, innocence starts at home,
as others have already said.
As an educator, I can try to further advise or give advice to a child through
things like social-emotional learning and the lessons that we give on characteristics of innocence,
such as always finding or looking for the good in people or the good in life,
(11:53):
or being slow to judge and quick to forgive.
And today it's ultimately up to the parent or the guardian to instill and to
continue the education of that child and to nurture their innocence.
OK, absolutely. I like how you guys are, you know, going back to the village
and in the school systems and stuff like that. That makes me think of that movie.
(12:13):
I can't remember the name, but he was the principal and he came up there and
the kids hated him at first. but may not be yeah that's the one yeah we all
know it you did not i couldn't remember the name but it's your movie.
(12:37):
Yeah that that that's what that takes me back to as far
as what jackie stated as far as it's starting in the school if they're not
around that environment then it has to
start in the school whole place and at the end of that movie we all
know what happened you know like that just takes me to our
next question you know as far as the influence that
he had on that school we have a lot of influence going
on right now as far as social media and amongst other things but social media
(13:01):
seems to be the big one that's taken us by storm as parents as educators I see
a lot of kids who are on TikTok how much influence do you guys think social
media has on a child or people in general.
I think social media has a lot of influence on a lot of things.
I mean, I go shopping a lot because of what's on social media.
(13:25):
That's my downfall. But I'm not in a place where if somebody do a twerk video,
I got a twerk challenge. I'm not into all of that.
But if somebody do something that's going to empower my mind,
my soul, then I challenge you with that all day.
So it depends on the person, what you want.
Very well good point made it depends
(13:47):
on the person however sometimes because of
the mind and i'm studying the brain right now so
i'm so fascinated by the mind because of
the way that it is designed we hit some highs and the lows our emotions is in
the front of our brain right so we hit some highs and some lows and you can
(14:08):
we can i think some of us most of us can probably relate when we're in a place
or when we're in a situation,
let's say we're in a bad mood, right?
And somebody comes up and they say some negative derogatory things to us that
don't make us feel better, right?
It helps push us to where we are already trying not to go to.
We know where we're trying to go to. We're trying not to and just pushing you there.
(14:31):
But then if we're in a good mood and somebody come and they tell the girl,
you got this, you're doing good.
That just builds you up even the more so right i take
that to social media because sometimes if you
would think you know common sense which isn't
common anymore would tell us if i'm if i'm a crackhead
and i want to stay out of drugs why would i go
(14:51):
to the crack house right all right if
i'm alcoholic trying to recover don't go to the liquor store but
all i have to do is pick up my phone and scroll and it's
right there so and i said that because i just thought
about we had an incident at work where one
of my colleagues child killed himself and
sent a text before he did it and it was
(15:13):
such a sad thing and they didn't know nothing was
wrong with him right mom that has a phd dad has a master's he was running the
physical therapy therapy program child they said it seemed like he was okay
and then so as he started to share a little bit last week you know some things
has influenced the fact that Kim is taking this on life.
(15:36):
So we can be as strong as we want. We can think we are, but if we don't have resources.
If we don't have that strong connection with our higher power,
if we don't have that strong foundation of a good parenting, a good home,
anything can influence us at that point.
So social media shouldn't, but it does. The world around does.
(16:00):
Trump influenced people just by him standing on TV talking, you know? Right.
So, you know, it's just, this is the world we live in.
I say, trust Jesus, but at the end of the day, that's my take on that.
Yeah, it's definitely not so common tomorrow, I guess, unless the Lord has given it.
So anybody else want to take that question and answer it?
(16:27):
Yeah, so for me, I mean, social media has as much influence as you allow it
to have. The more you take in, the more you're influenced.
It's like that saying, you are what you eat. The things we consume become learned
to us. They become routine.
They become habits. So I believe social media does have as much influence on
a child as you allow it to have.
That's it goes with monitoring everything that they intake and not the social
(16:51):
media, but any media for that matter.
Anything the child takes in books, the things they watch on TV,
just any of that people around them who you allow around in your atmosphere.
Everything has an influence, but as it only has as much influence as you allow it to have on.
I like that. Zae, what would you have to say about that?
(17:12):
I was listening to everybody and listening to their take on it.
And I basically believe what everybody said does depend on what you allow to be taken in.
It does depend on what you allow yourself to see. Like I could literally be
walking down the street and I hear somebody else playing a song. Right.
(17:34):
And I'm not singing a song or whatever. But then like the next day is in my mind.
And I'm like, why is this song in my mind? I didn't even play it.
But I just heard a snippet of it when the car was passing by.
Right. So I do believe that what you allow yourself to intake is what that's
the reason why social media is so big. But then also, this is how some people get.
(17:59):
This is how some people this is their life.
Right. This is big to them. If they don't have Wi-Fi, if they don't have a phone,
they don't have a laptop.
That is detrimental to them. Right. Right. So I believe that it has a big influence on our lives.
Right. It's the good and the bad is cyberbullying and giving somebody positive words.
(18:20):
Words like you get good and bad in anything but i
do believe social media definitely impacted our
lives all the way so that's what i believe i like
how you put that up as far as it being somebody's job and you know their livelihood
to just narrow down to who you let and influence you in that space because they
can be good influencers and bad influencers i've seen some good ones i've seen
(18:42):
some bad ones oh it also brings like say we watching tiktok right you see a a food
channel right and you see like they made some
breaded pasta like they put the chicken on
there and all this other stuff and then it starts to influence your
your taste ability where you like oh i gotta try that i
gotta try that because that looks good so just from
(19:04):
that right i can tell that it
influences us because i look at it i'll be like i need to go get these recipes
right now so right so i
just make me hungry yes most definitely yeah all
right so nathan so in regards to
a child's innocence i think social media has
as much influence on them as is allowed so like the more or the less the exposure
(19:30):
the more or the less the influence so monitoring a child's social media intake
as far as what and for how long they're watching something i think impacts their influence.
And so it kind of goes back to.
Music.
(19:51):
If they jump off a bridge, are you going to jump off a bridge too?
So although you may be exposed to certain content or certain things,
it's up to a parent or a guardian to inform them of what is right and what is
wrong and to protect their innocence.
And so as they grow up, they can make the proper decisions on, no, that's not it.
(20:11):
I shouldn't be influenced by this or I should be influenced by this.
Gotcha. So no monkey see monkey do on this side of the street, right?
Right. Copycat number two. too right what if
that breeze got water under it you're gonna right turn
oh you're a good swimmer i'm definitely not
(20:32):
a good that's a hard impact but i never said how deep the the bridge how far
up the bridge was that's true that's true it's all about perspective i guess
perspective yeah And then that's the thing that I wanted to add to that.
Also, we can't control, even you guys who have children, you can't control the
(20:53):
decisions that they're going to make, right?
You can only just show them. But also, I like the part how I've seen some teach
their kids that, okay, I'm not going to yell at you because you did what you
did, but now you see the consequences.
So if you make this choice, I'm not going to tell you not to make this choice,
(21:14):
but I'm going to tell you this could happen, this could happen, and that could happen.
So now you have all the choices you need or the consequences that might happen.
So now I will hope that you will make the wise choice.
But if you don't, just be prepared for the consequences that's going to come from that.
Absolutely. Jackie, let me piggyback. Let me piggyback. See. Okay.
(21:35):
In regards to like a social media and with YouTube, right?
So my kid likes to watch the kids YouTube. And so a lot of the stuff on the
kids YouTube, she will try to come back and do.
And so I tell her that's not what we do here.
So like you may see them do that, but that's not what I'm teaching you to do. Right.
(21:57):
So yes, you go ahead and watch it, but don't let it influence your character
because that's not what I'm teaching you how to be.
So I might block it I don't know how she'd be unblocking stuff but you know so you might block,
some of the influence so that way it'll lessen the influence but yes I just
want to piggyback off of what you said Kayla yeah it's been important for me
(22:21):
to understand my kid is going to be her own kid so eventually she's going to
grow up and think for herself or make her own decisions.
As far as social media is concerned, our minds aren't made to consume information 24-7.
We're meant to be outside and connected with other people and in the sun,
(22:41):
like not behind a screen.
And so with the prevalence of social media or YouTube or chat forums or gaming
or things like that, like we're no longer encouraged to think for ourselves.
It's kind of like someone is giving me the information, someone is giving me
news, someone is giving me their opinion.
And so it's influencing the way in which we live our lives or perceive the world
(23:04):
to be versus being encouraged to
do our own research, to create our own thoughts, to think for ourselves.
And so it's been important for me that if I'm on social media,
that I'm following people who not
necessarily align with my views because I think that it's important
for you to understand that the world is not a think tank
(23:26):
and you know it not everybody thinks the same way that
I do exactly but understanding that if
I'm being influenced negatively through whatever they're saying then like it's
okay to unfollow them or unplug and I think that's something that I've worked
hard with like my family's on and my teenagers on especially is like giving
(23:47):
them the freedom and permission to unfollow, to unplug,
or to delete social media off of their phones or disconnect from the expectation
that you're only acceptable in society if you're engaged in TikTok or Instagram
or if you have X amount of followers.
Their value doesn't come from the likes or follows that they have,
(24:07):
but just through their inherent worth.
Kids are influenced by their parents' decisions. So whether it's social media
or alcohol or whatever the decision is, my kid would be impacted by that.
If I don't drink, but I'm on social media 12 hours a day, then that becomes
a normal or that becomes their baseline expectation for what you should do.
(24:28):
Just goes back to teaching what I
believe is best and why and then
encouraging her or allowing her to ask questions
and be curious so often growing up it's just like this is the answer because
I said so but then that doesn't encourage me to create like a thought process
for myself or to create a value system or a structure that I believe if I say
(24:52):
I don't want you watching this because or here are the consequences that could
come from your behavior.
It's important to me that they're able to ask questions and get an understanding
so that they can make an informed decision the next time that they go log on
to YouTube or to go play with friends or whatever.
How have I explained the consequences of that?
(25:13):
And then not reprimanding them per se if they make a choice that's different than mine,
but saying like, these are the consequences of the
decision that you made even though I told you
that that could have happened right and as
far as the because I told you so yeah that definitely reigned
in our household by and by like the
(25:34):
old folks say you'll get it when you get older so yeah that's definitely something
I'm learning as a parent don't say because I told you so like because it doesn't
really help them someone said something like kids are humans too I don't want
my boss saying like do this because I told you so I want to understand so that
I can learn and do better in the future.
Right. I want to acknowledge that like he's a human and has her own thought
(25:58):
processes and that her life or her adult life will be impacted by her childhood.
And so who do I have influencing her? What is she exposed to and what information
am I providing her to trust that she's smart enough?
I think we undermine the intelligence of kids a lot where kids are able to take
on or understand a lot more than we give them credit for.
(26:19):
And so helping them to hone in that knowledge and intelligence in a productive
and healthy manner, I think, is important.
Absolutely. As far as work goes, Kayla said she wouldn't want her boss at work
to tell her, do this because I told you so.
That just gets me to our next question of work and balancing work and family life.
(26:41):
And not just for parents, but for educators as well, like how can we,
as parents, as educators, as a village, balance our work demands as well as
the quality time with our children?
Because we see that in this day and age and in America,
we're not valued as much as educators,
as parents, as a village to be able to take time off or spend time with our
(27:06):
kids versus every other country has maternity leave for moms and dads. for up to three years?
Well, for me, as a parent, I work 12 hours a day, seven days a week.
So it's a battle. But ultimately, you have to make that time,
not only outside of work, but even during my workday, you have 30 minute breaks,
(27:28):
you have 15 minute breaks.
So just taking time out to call my kid, check up on them, see how their day
is going, how they're doing, just seeing where they're at, you know,
what's going on with them.
So I believe making time and And also setting personal time,
even if it's just them helping with dinner around the house,
watching a movie or a show with them, letting your child know that you're present no matter what.
(27:50):
I believe that that plays a big part in how they're influenced because working
in the school, I see a lot of kids that don't have a present parent.
You know, their parents are constantly working or they're not at home.
Their kids are raising younger siblings or they're taking care of themselves.
You know, so at that point, they've grown up so fast, their mentality is grown.
(28:10):
So I believe that being present in your child's life and taking that time out
with them, it plays a big part in how they're influenced and where their innocence
goes, because a child raising themselves, their innocence is taken from them.
You know, they had to grow up too fast.
So I believe just making that time, no matter what, letting your kid know that
you're present, you're there, plays a big part.
(28:32):
I don't have kids, so I would say always the village, be a part of the village
I am because I'm a godparent, I'm a TT, I'm a whole bunch of things.
So your resources is a big part of, like Quintay said, she worked 12-hour days.
(28:54):
So if there's a village, people in her village that when her kids were younger
that she could reach out to, then that's that's what you have to do as a parent.
But also being selective about who's in your village because you don't want
the wrong people in for a sentence.
You know, your kids, when you're trying to teach them and get them in the right place.
(29:20):
I just believe that I got to make it intentional.
I have to want to prioritize my child and give the time that she needs.
I have to want to be there. And I'm learning that now.
I didn't always have that. I would come home and sit on my game and play it
(29:41):
multiple times in the hours of the day. But I didn't understand that my child needed me there.
My child needed me to spend some quality time with her. Right.
Until now, where I see that you don't know how much of time that you have,
especially in this world we live in now. out.
Right. So you have to make every opportunity meaningful.
(30:03):
And that's that's what I truly believe. Growing up in my household, we we we ate together.
We sat at the table together and we ate together, even if it was a movie on.
If we didn't have movies on, you know, my mom makes some great food. But OK.
And so just that right there, I remember that because that was something important
(30:25):
to me where we actually spent time.
We play Monopoly together. We play like games together.
They, they dislike me till this day about Monopoly, but we, we did all these
things together and I seen that it was very important for me.
Right. So I have to take that same thing and put it into my daughter where I
have to take every opportunity I have, because I don't know how long I will
(30:48):
have those opportunities.
So yeah, I believe that we
need to have that balance in our lives leave work and
work and come home and be at home i like
how you said um you know you you make it intentional i
do believe that whatever we love we we make time for so whatever gets the most
of our attention you might love it too much but that's what jonathan mcreynolds
(31:12):
said he said i i find uh uh what did he say yes that's it that's it that's the song,
But I find places to put what's important to me.
I make room for it. I prioritize it in my life.
So if it's important to me, then I got to prioritize it. So if my child is important
(31:33):
to me, then I have to prioritize her time because it's important to her and me.
That's just like that Indie Minio song, Priority. Whenever you spend the most
time with her, she needs her. She's nice. Sorry.
Not her, she's, it caught me off guard. Okay.
So from my experience, how to balance the work and then also quality time with
(31:59):
my child is time management.
So in the Bible, like in the book of Ecclesiastics, chapter three tells us that
there's a time for everything.
And so even though we sometimes have to bring work home or you have work on
the brain, we have to know how to...
(32:20):
Music.
It also goes with what Zay said about knowing how to disconnect.
And so you have to disconnect from work and detach so that the work isn't on your brain.
And that way you could or can effectively give that quality time.
(32:43):
Because if you have other stuff on your brain or you're thinking about other
things, then it's no longer quality time. You're just spending time.
Right. I like that. You're just spending time.
You're not really here. you're not even there's no substance to it you know
yeah there's no fruit like what are you doing you just have to be present not
just yeah in the presence exactly otherwise you're just around just like you
(33:06):
you babysit but not in the water places you feel me.
Hey what i think with like work-life balance it gets done said it goes back
to your priorities priorities and like blocking out time or putting my time
where it's most important to me.
(33:29):
I only get one chance to parent my kid. And so while work may be pressing or
I may have school deadlines or you know, any other things, I think I have to
set myself aside and set what I want to do aside,
in lieu of what I need to do.
And so you determine what your needs and wants are based on whatever your priorities are.
(33:50):
So my needs are to make sure that I'm raising a balanced and healthy kid and
everything else comes second to that.
And so still being responsible and doing my work when I'm supposed to,
but making sure that I put time in my schedule to take care of my kid's needs,
make sure that she's heard, make sure that my family is taken care of,
that my relationship is taken care of.
(34:12):
All of that just goes on scheduling.
Somebody said, you know, we all have the same amount of time in a day as like
bill gates or oprah and so if they can right they do then who am i to say that
like i don't have enough time to get things done i think it's just a matter
of what am i willing to sacrifice of myself to get the results that i want to see,
(34:34):
in my family absolutely i kind of
break that down you got 24 hours in a day you know so you
just got to choose them wisely choose how you're gonna spend them
so it's a schedule go by your schedule don't feel bad about
a schedule Jesus was saying as far as Ecclesiastes 3 and there's time for all
things that just takes me back to the teachings of Jesus as far as innocence
(34:55):
goes and I feel like he defined innocence in such a way that it kind of just
sums it all up for us as adults and how
would you guys define Jesus teaching about becoming like little children in
order to see the kingdom of heaven relate to the topic that we're talking about today.
(35:16):
I think that comes from, I'm a speaker about humility and obedience.
Also true because Jesus said that we have to become like children to even enter the kingdom of heaven.
Right. So that means no matter how old we get in age, in spirit, we have to stay humble.
(35:38):
We have to stay obedient. Right. We have to be truthful and we have to maintain
our spirit. And no matter what happened, we still got to acknowledge God and
we got to let him direct our paths. That's kind of what a care does, right?
Kind of like you kid got to do that part kind of what mom and daddy say, right?
(35:59):
Because, I mean, we could say no, we can have conversations, right?
But at the end of the day, we still got to do what mommy and daddy say,
right? We just got some type of understanding.
And that's what the Bible said. and all i get and we to get understand
it right right so that's kind of how we have
to stay along the lines that's why i always tell people
(36:20):
even though i'm 25 spiritually but
always be probably 12 or 13 you
know somewhere up in there because i want to miss the cutoff
age you know to make it in in the
head you know so that's the good thing about you know
serving god our age and numbers don't matter
right god could care less about
(36:41):
the number i matter of fact as of today i don't even got
no more birthdays right because it don't even matter how
many birthdays right every day
is a gift every every moment of breath is
of life is a blessing so it's a birthday right so i started i'm 25 every day
at this point you know so but we have to stay humble okay peter pan thank you
(37:05):
I bet you Peter Pan made it to heaven because he stayed like a child the whole time.
I'm a boy Willie Walker too the chocolate factory probably up in heaven waiting
on me too I'm just saying hey.
Don't go right there she just trying to get that Hershey's that's it right there don't forget,
(37:27):
donation but we have to
stay humble we have to stay in spirit and
truth and we have to remember that you know
god is our father jesus is our intercessor so
at the end of the day we still gotta follow protocol we
gotta follow trade and command but we have to stay obedient so this is why we
have to keep that word hidden in our heart kind of remind me that's how kids
(37:50):
we we want to please our parents so we remember what they say do right right
so i have to remember the scriptures and remember the words and i have to remember
what the lord say because Because then I have that way I can stay low.
I can stay right. I can stay open to being taught and corrected.
I can, you know, if I get rebuked, then I know how to take it.
So I think those are that's the part to me of that right there.
(38:15):
Yeah, I agree with Jackie, you know, and the humbleness and the obedience.
And I believe, too, as a child, you're more open and you're eager for learning
things, things that you don't know because you haven't been tainted by the morals
and the values of the world yet or set in your ways as most of us adults are.
When we get up in our older age and we just get kind of set,
(38:35):
I believe that, you know, children, they're moldable because of their innocence.
You know, they don't know any wrong until they're introduced to it,
you know, by learning from outer experiences or being introduced to it from
outer experiences or influences at home.
So as adults, I believe that we have to go back to that stage of being unlearned
so that we can learn the teachings of Jesus.
(38:56):
I believe as a kid, you're moldable, you're teachable, and you're willing to
learn, you know, so that we have to, as adults, get back to that place.
Okay. Anybody else? I mean, as a kid in learning, you don't have,
I know it attitude, right?
Right. With Jesus, the reason why he said come as a child is because they're
(39:18):
humble, they're open, and they're like sponges.
You can play Mozart's on on your stomach or whatever if you're pregnant and
the child will come out smart, even though that's just like a like a thing that people say.
But I believe that kids are just like a sponge.
I believe what everybody just said, because not to revert back to the same answers
(39:41):
that they gave, but children just sit and listen. They want to learn.
Just knowing this for myself and watching my child. She she loves to learn new things.
She gets excited about it. And that's how I feel like Jesus wants us to get
excited about what he's teaching, to get excited about what he's given to us to learn.
(40:03):
Come on and preach now. So I feel like that's what it is, you know,
and that's the reason why Jesus wants us to come as it's because they're. Hey, Mr. Preacher, man.
All right. Who next? Don't jump in all at one time. I'm jumping.
I believe. OK. laughter.
I believe that the two relate in regards to how Jesus was trying to teach his
(40:25):
disciples and how I'm trying to teach my child that one needs to be unpretentious
in regards to how it defines as not trying to impress others and being modest.
So it's not about what others are doing or what they have to say that matters,
but instead what is the type of person I'm striving to be or how does God see me?
(40:48):
And so being humble and modest just speaks to a person's character.
Like I said before, with how I defined innocence, it's a moral character.
And like Matthews 5 and 3 says, we have to be poor in spirit.
We have to be in a humble place in order to see God. So if I'm not in a humble
place, then how can I see?
(41:09):
You right girl you better say that yes you
you recognize that you need help you recognize just
like a child they if they know they can't do something they'll.
Ask for help they're like okay i can't do this that's how we got to
be with the lord you know lord i can't do this by myself you help
me kayla yeah i think
being like little children forces us to be
(41:30):
humble or to be teachable i think
kids inherently just trust what's told
to them at face value and i
think in the same way that like a parent or
an educator or a village or you know
family member wouldn't turn
away a kid if they're asking questions i think kids don't
(41:52):
think to like not ask questions everything is just
like why or you know what is this and i think we have
to take the same approach when we're seeking
our relationship with jesus or trying to get into
the kingdom is just like how can i do
what you're doing what can i do my daughter often
says like i want to be a grown-up like you you know i'm like
(42:14):
well it comes with a lot but maintaining my
humility and my ability to be
teachable or to hear the opinions of other people in order to get to heaven
and encouraging like her Her excitement in the world is the same excitement
that I need to foster for myself in Jesus of like, how can I build a relationship?
(42:40):
How can I grow up in you, but in a way that like, I still remain humble and
pure and without influence of the world.
I like that because that takes me back to the scripture and the story of Jesus.
He got left behind and he was in the synagogue sitting and asking questions as a child.
(43:02):
Like you said, it just goes back to children are open. They like to ask questions. They want to know.
And I feel like that's the part as adults in the body of Christ that we have
to get back to and not being afraid and not being afraid to ask those questions. There you go.
(43:47):
Home or maybe they're in a single parent home or parent parents are divorced
or, you know, whatever, you know, how can we pour into them?
I say we should always, like you said, we touched on working as a team, right?
It's like communication, that collaborative effort, recognizing that there is an issue.
I feel like a lot of times the educators shouldn't have to initiate because
(44:08):
I'm sure parents can see where there's a problem with their own child, right?
Right. But sometimes, remember, we say it's so common so that we have people
still leaving kids in hot cars.
Exactly. You know, so I'm going to put it in the right thing.
And so it's just it's ultimately crazy to me.
However, I still believe in the communication.
(44:28):
I remember when I taught kindergarten, we used to do the notebooks and I used to send a notebook home.
Mom had to read it, send it right back to me.
And that's how I kept the communication open so
I can know what mom is teaching at home she can know
what I'm teaching at school consistency is the key right right and so statistics
(44:50):
say take us to do something three times or more before it becomes a habit exactly
therefore so I can consistently do this thing but a lot of times as educators
we're paid to persist is to redo it.
Parents are kind of optional for that.
So, if they choose not to do it, then the ball gets dropped.
(45:11):
So, I'm going to stick with it needs to be a collaborative effort of effective,
good, clear, concise communication, lots of prayer, right?
And just being hopeful.
Okay. Okay. Yeah, I'm with Jackie on that.
So prayer does work and it does help us to protect our innocence of our children.
(45:35):
And just as a parent, I feel like I could protect my child by knowing and being
aware of what they're taking in and just instilling in them the morals and values
of life and teaching my child right from wrong and how to apply that in their
life and just to be independent and followers, but leaders.
You know, a lot of kids these days, they're so they're so I mean,
(45:58):
to the peer pressures of the world and being pressured by friends and what they're doing.
So just instilling in being a leader and not a follower.
And as an educator, you know, realizing that not everyone has the same morals
and values that, you know, not everybody is getting that same teaching that I'm getting.
And not everybody has the same upbringing that I had, but still being able to
(46:20):
teach my students right from wrong and leading by example,
you know, letting them see if you do this, this is what the outcome can be,
you know, just being that example for them and getting to know them,
learning their behaviors, learning their households.
Learning who they are and where they come from.
You know, it helps to know that it helps to grow a relationship with them so
(46:42):
that you are able to have that type of relationship.
Well, they will be like, oh, hey, miss, you know, I learned this from you or,
you know, because you show me this, I want to do better, you know,
or I learn from my mistakes, you know, because I get that a lot,
you know, dealing with my students.
And when I had them in in-house, you know, because of my life experience,
you know, I was able to kind of help them and share some things like,
(47:04):
hey, look, this is what I went through when I was younger. but look at me now.
So you don't have to stay on that path. You can learn from your mistakes and
things can be better in your life.
Like you don't have to continue down that path that you're going.
You can be better. I like that.
There was a saying that it said that a smart man learns from his mistakes,
(47:25):
but a wise man learns from somebody else's mistakes.
And just by hearing what Quante said, I was just thinking about that.
And that kept that popped into my mind where I by protecting my child,
I can give my child everything that I know to be right. Right.
And hopefully by me giving my child everything that I know to be right,
(47:47):
that they go out. And when I give them the morals and the values that we uphold
in the family, hopefully they take it with them into their family whenever they get a family.
I don't believe that I can protect them, but I believe that I can give them
the knowledge to help them in learning what protection is, if you get what I mean. Absolutely.
(48:09):
Like the tools and the equipment to do what they need to do,
like just like God does for us. I'm just like God does for the woman of God,
you know, my pastor, where she gives us equipment that God has given her to give to us.
Right. And to equip us to go out into the world and do what we need to do.
Right. The protection is God.
(48:31):
But we're just given the information to you so that you can follow the directions,
hopefully, that I gave you. But that's what I believe.
I like that. That definitely ties it all in.
And then also, it does take a village, like Jackie said, because there's a lot
of things that I don't know that somebody else might know.
(48:53):
Right. My daughter, she goes to Taekwondo and she learns all these movements.
She learns what this means. She learns what that means. I can't teach you that
because I don't know that.
Right. Exactly. But it's all based on how she puts it to use.
My wife, she teaches her things that I don't know where she comes and tells
me and I'm like, oh, OK, that's what's up. You know, where, like I said,
(49:14):
like it does take a village.
So I agree with Jackie on that. Yeah, that that that village really helps any one of you.
OK, so when I hear or think about the word preserve, it means that you're trying
to maintain the state that they're already in.
So as an educator i don't believe that i set out to preserve the innocence of
(49:39):
a child per se but i'm there to assist in nurturing them as they grow because they will have.
One way maybe in my classroom or at school and then they leave and go into different
environments So it's like not my job in a way to maintain their innocence,
(50:03):
but to assist them and guiding them so that way when they are out and about,
they can think on the things that we talked about before.
And so as a parent, one has to be aware and use wisdom when it comes to protecting
and preserving their child's innocence.
As a parent, I can also do my best to teach my child what is right from what is wrong.
(50:29):
When they have questions, I can listen to them and try not to just project like
what I've been through, my opinions,
but also educate and to explain or discuss the consequences of actions,
whether they may be good or bad in a way that they may understand.
Understand and it goes back to the social
(50:50):
media question and the influence that it has so
I can't just block a content or tell
my kid that no you can't watch that but let them know why maybe what they're
seeing is not something that we morally see as right and so I also have I have
(51:11):
to remember that not everyone has the same morals and values.
So it goes back to innocence starting at home and that it is the influence of
the parent that matters most.
And I can see why some parents may want to, including myself.
Want to homeschool their child because of they want to preserve their morals
(51:36):
or their innocence of the child that they have instilled in them.
Okay, I like that answer because they're not going to be innocent forever.
We understand that. And we know that with a child, they have to grow up.
They have to know things. That goes back to what Jackie said, communication.
And then that's something you just want to continue to pour into them is communicating
with them and giving them the tools and letting them know, hey,
(51:57):
like, yeah, you can do that. You can jump off this bridge.
And do you see that pavement down there?
You can either get hurt or you can die or who knows, maybe all your bones are
breaking. You still live.
But I'm telling you right now, don't jump off that bridge.
(52:18):
Don't be no motivational speaker, OK? Yeah, I'm not one. I'll leave that to Jackie.
I think you did a great job explaining that. Throw it all in. Cap.
Kayla. Similar to what Shanice said, I don't feel like it's a responsibility
of an educator to maintain my kids' innocence.
(52:41):
I think having communication with the educators are important.
And kids get influenced by friends and teachers, sports coaches,
social media, church leadership kids at the store like
there are just so many places where they're influenced so
taking time to understand
what they're being exposed to understand the curriculum
(53:03):
that they're learning like with sports knowing what are the things that you're
teaching am i allowed to be there and then deciding what are things that i'm
comfortable with because my convictions and my My morals may be different than
those of the educators or those in the school district or whatever.
And so making a concerted effort to guard her innocence and what I'm comfortable
(53:29):
with her understanding or knowing while she still exists as part of this world.
Also at work, if there are parents or families that don't understand or haven't
been taught how to guard their kids in a sense,
then it's my responsibility to educate and then empower parents to take an active
(53:52):
role in their kids' lives.
And so if you weren't given that example or you haven't seen it before,
then can I give you a second point of reference to follow either now or later?
It's difficult to acknowledge that things may not be perfect.
And so while I don't expect for anybody to make immediate changes,
(54:13):
I do hope that the information or the resources that I provide allows them to
at least do some self-reflection and adjust in a way that aligns with their
morals and their convictions and the things that they believe are best.
But I think if they've never seen it, then how can they teach it?
And so just being open to here's how I teach, here's how someone else may teach,
(54:38):
here's how somebody else may do this, and then allowing them the.
Time and space to be able to make those changes for what they feel is best in their family unit.
Absolutely. I know you stated that recently you took out your child from,
you know, a certain institute because of their particular beliefs, right?
(55:02):
Yeah, I think I've always made it a point to understand the curriculum and the things that
like she's being taught and so when we were notified that the curriculum was
changing and it was it's always presented so nicely of like you know we've invested
in this great thing and you know we're so excited and you know we're getting
(55:22):
new books and we're gonna have a whole new library.
Like it's I felt like it was my job to then go through the book list you know
if they're going to give me the resource then I might as well go through and
see what books are you trying to teach What are you,
you know, what are you shifting the curriculum and then making a conscious choice
of that no longer aligns with my belief system or what I believe she should
(55:46):
be learning at her age. Exactly.
And then pulling her from that school and saying, you know what,
we're going to shift the way that our life looks and we're going to go from
me working full time and you being in a school program full time to me homeschooling
full time until we found a program
that aligns with our value system and we're going to allow her to go.
(56:06):
And if that no longer aligns with us and at the end of the year,
then we'll change and we'll shift to a new thing.
But I think making a conscious choice of what am I allowing my kid to consume
and what influence am I allowing the adults in her life to have over her?
And even if the teachers and I align on a lot of beliefs, if there's a school
(56:29):
system pushing a particular curriculum, then there's nothing that,
you know, they may be able to do.
If a teacher's off work and an assistant teacher steps in, I can't protect her
if I'm making a conscious decision to allow her to stay in her school.
Then I'm passively allowing her to consume the information that they're letting
(56:55):
me know that they're teaching.
Exactly. You knowing it, you're aware of it, and you do nothing about it, basically.
Can't let nobody come on your territory and change your belief.
I thank you guys for joining me on today, though.
Did anybody else have any comments or any questions? I just want to say one thing before I go.
I was listening to Kayla speak and it just came to me.
(57:18):
There are so many people who did not finish high school and still were successful
in life. Education is important.
But spiritual edification is even more important because this is a temporary
home. We're not going to be here forever.
This is a journey to get to where we're going to be forever, for eternity.
(57:40):
So I have learned not to put so much into education, worldly education,
because it only going to take you so far. Right.
I haven't seen anybody use 10 degrees to preserve their life.
Or anything else along with it but i've seen people read the bible and live
(58:03):
it and they got them over through a whole lot of storms right trouble water
drowning bridges sinking sand,
all of that so i'm not a parent right but i will say and i will speak to knowledge is power,
but the right knowledge is even more powerful right so i just wanted to say that to the parents.
(58:28):
Because I believe homeschooling is a great thing because you control what you're
feeling in the brain. That's it.
So then you know that your child can walk the way that it should because you
know what you fed it. Going back to we are what we eat.
So I just wanted to say that.
(58:49):
Thank you for that. Yeah, I like how you put that because that's what I was
thinking too too, when she was talking about that, like you if you are aware
of what's going in your child's mouth, then if it's not OK with you,
if it's not aligning with you, let's remove it.
Let's let's figure something out. Let's change some things around and let's
rearrange some things. So I commend you for that.
A lot of parents don't don't think that that's important, but that that's definitely important.
(59:15):
And did anybody else have any questions or any comments before we wrap this up?
Just thank you for having me had a
good time all right i had a great time with everybody
i appreciate you guys for joining me i appreciate you guys
giving me your time um and joining me on our first episode hopefully many more
this wraps this up guys thank you for joining us panelist one was jackie panelist
(59:40):
two was quente panelist three was shanice panelist four was Zay and Panelist 5 with Kayla.
If you guys have any questions for them or any comments, feel free to send us
a message or reach out on social media.
And just thank you guys for listening and continue to download and subscribe.
(01:00:02):
Thank you guys for tuning in. This is Lapse of Time. Have a great day.
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