August 6, 2025 • 14 mins
Hey, Friend,
If you have ever been mentored in leadership, or if you have mentored someone else, then you know the value of having someone walking alongside you, answering your questions, showing you how things work at this church that you just started working for.
And, yet, many churches do not provide mentors for their new hires. In today’s episode, I share the benefits of having a mentoring system that will be guaranteed to set up new hires for success.
I pray this blesses you,
Becky
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
In many disciplines, I'll use education as an example because that's my background.
(00:06):
When you are hired at a different school or maybe it's your first job ever, maybe it's
not, someone takes you under their wing and teaches you all the things that you need
to know about this new place where you're working.
In ministry, I'm finding that doesn't happen quite so much.
(00:26):
In fact, I asked an executive minister one time, there was a children's minister who was
really struggling.
And I said, why is no one mentoring this new children's minister in his response was,
I believe, in treating everyone as an adult.
(00:46):
That threw me, I was not real sure how to respond to that?
But I'll tell you how I would respond today.
Want to know more?
Let's dive in to today's episode.
Hey, friend, are you a people pleasing conflict avoiding leader?
Is your secret relationship with fear affecting your leadership decisions?
(01:06):
Do you want to learn how to build credibility and confidence or to navigate difficult conversations?
Do you long to manage your time without sacrificing your family or self-care?
Welcome to leadership becomes her.
I'm Becky Burroughs, your host and a minister and life and leadership coach with over 50 years
(01:27):
experience in leadership.
I firmly believe God has given you everything you need to lead well.
You have the toolbox.
You just need to learn how to use the tools.
So get comfy or start a mindless task.
You know how to pause or rewind if you need to.
Let's get started.
[MUSIC]
(01:52):
Years ago when I was working in education and I had been at this particular school for many,
many years and the middle school principal asked me if I would come teach a reading class.
It was actually a reading comprehension class for any student who had scored below a certain
level in reading comprehension on standardized testing.
(02:13):
So I said sure and it was expected that I would develop my own curriculum for this brand
new class he had thought up.
I was glad to do that.
I'm teaching this class.
I'm rocking a long day after day.
I have been teaching for maybe a week, maybe two.
And finally one day I can't remember if it was him.
I actually think it was the school secretary came to me and said, "Why have you never filled
(02:37):
out an absentee slip?"
And I'm like, "What are you talking about?"
The absentee slip that you're supposed to put on that clip outside your door every day.
You've never done one and you've been here two weeks.
I'm like, "I didn't know I was supposed to.
Nobody told me."
So she told me and I did it daily from then on.
(02:59):
And that kind of thing is going to happen.
People forget what you don't know, what seems common practice to them and perhaps they
thought that since I had been working at that school for many years that I knew about
absentee slips which I had never had to do before.
And so that can't happen from time to time.
But generally one of the things I love about education is they're all about teaching and
(03:22):
they're all about people learning.
And so they try to create an atmosphere where learning can actually take place even for
the instructor.
And they know that when you come into a new school, even if you've got a bunch of experience,
you have zero experience in that school.
You have zero experience with that culture, with that climate, with those particular procedures
(03:44):
and how that principle likes things done.
And you have to learn that.
And so it is pretty common in education to assign a mentor teacher, maybe for a semester,
maybe for the first year, maybe as needed.
But someone that you know you can go to and ask questions and not feel dumb for asking questions.
And better yet, someone who's walking along beside you, making sure you know the things
(04:08):
you need to know to be successful in this new school, new to you.
I shift over to ministry and I see, first of all, in ministry, it is not uncommon in churches
for ministers to be very siloed.
When I first came on staff 18 years ago into this church where I still work, there was very
(04:29):
little communication among ministries.
So childrens didn't necessarily know what students were doing, which didn't necessarily
know what women's ministry was doing, which didn't necessarily know about adult education.
Everybody did their own thing.
And they didn't really share with each other.
When that happens, we have problems where we want the same classroom at the same time and
nobody thought to reserve it.
(04:51):
And now we've got a problem or we're needing the same volunteers on the same day.
There's a lot of problems that happen when you don't communicate.
So one of the things we changed was that we started meeting every week for the purpose
of communication among ministers.
We would go around the room, tell us what you've got going on this week.
Tell us what is coming up this month.
Tell us what you're going to need.
(05:13):
That helped tremendously.
But still, we would hire a new minister.
It could be a brand new.
This is their first job fresh out of college or a seasoned minister who we've hired to
come to our church.
And they're just like theoretically thrown into the wing and like, "Good luck.
(05:34):
Good luck on your job.
Let us know if you need anything."
And they know nothing.
They don't know anybody's names.
They don't know where anything is kept.
They don't know how to order anything.
They don't know anything.
And so that's why I post the question.
This particular children's minister was a seasoned minister when he was hired.
And yet, and I mentioned this in an earlier podcast, I'll probably never forget it.
(05:57):
It was so shocking to me when we were trying to get to know each other.
And I'm asking questions.
He had been there about a year.
And so I'm asking questions.
At the time, I was the administration minister.
And I said, he mentioned something about third grade.
So I said, "Who is your third grade teacher?"
(06:18):
And he said, "I don't know any of their names actually.
I'm not about adults.
I'm about kids."
And I was so shocked.
I didn't know what to say because I thought, "Well, I get that.
You love kids.
That's why you're a children's minister."
But you do know those are adults who are doing your job.
They are making sure children's ministry is run like a well-oiled machine on Sunday morning
(06:42):
and they faithfully come week after week and they volunteer.
There are time.
You do know that, right?
This is what I'm thinking in my head.
And then later on in the conversation, when I asked what curriculum he was doing, he
was using because I'm interested in that sort of thing I come from a background of education.
And he's like, "Yeah, really don't know.
I let each teacher do their own thing."
(07:04):
And again, my mind started reeling.
It's like, "I would want, if I were a parent of a child in children or student ministry,
I would want to know if my child starts children's ministry as early as they have classes
and goes all the way through, let's say, fifth or sixth grade, and then they go into
student ministry.
I want to know what I can expect.
(07:26):
They will have learned not to take the place of anything I'm teaching at home.
But in addition to, I want to know, what's to keep every single teacher from teaching the
same five stories year after year after year and not touching the rest of scripture.
So needless to say, he didn't last a very long.
He ended up being there for two years.
(07:47):
But when I asked who the executive minister at the time, I think he really needs a mentor.
He said, "I believe in treating people like adults."
What is that?
What is that thinking that if you have someone walking along beside you and guiding you,
(08:08):
you're not being treated as an adult?
Quite literally, I'm a certified coach and that is my job to guide, to walk along beside
and to guide, not to tell people what to do, but to be a resource.
And I think it levels out the learning curve when a church can provide a mentor, minister
for a period of time, someone who's been there a while, who knows the ropes, who's got a great
(08:33):
attitude, who gets the job done, can be a great resource to somebody new.
Because when you're new, you don't even know if it's okay to ask questions.
Is that make you look stupid?
Are they going to be afraid?
Are they going to regret they hired you because you don't know anything?
When in reality, you just don't know this location.
(08:55):
You don't know this culture and this climate.
So here's what I'm suggesting.
What would it look like if when a church hired a minister to fill a particular role, they
immediately assigned another minister to them?
Because quite frankly, here's the other thing.
Churches don't have HR departments.
(09:17):
They can't afford them.
If they're lucky, they've got somebody on staff who's fairly knowledgeable in some HR procedures
just to make sure we're following the law.
But they don't have someone whose job it is who's got a checklist going, okay, where they
administered keys.
Check.
Do they know the rules on this and that check?
(09:37):
Have they been issued a computer check?
Those things just kind of happen.
But it's in my experience has been it's not well organized.
What would it look like if there were a checklist of all the things you need to make sure a new person
knows, understands, has access to, they know the rules for something as simple as if you
(10:01):
want to do an event at the church.
Who do you need to talk to about scheduling air conditioning or heat?
Who do you need to talk to about, do I have to buy my own paper goods or does the church
provide them?
If the church provides them, how do I access them?
That area is locked.
How do I get into it?
It is amazing to me.
(10:22):
The details that people need to know when they come on board, they don't know how to ask.
They don't know how to order office supplies.
Man, I can't find a pen anywhere.
We need some legal pads.
Do I go buy those myself and turn in a receipt?
Is there somebody who's authorized to do that?
And we make it so much harder for new people than it has to be because of our lack of
(10:44):
organization and our lack of understanding what it's like to be new.
So as I said, I've worked for this church for 18 years and I'm very proud to say that
our employees tend to stay a long time.
That's good news.
The bad news, the flip side of that is we are very weak in onboarding as a result.
(11:08):
We don't have a great system, we don't have a checklist, we're not even sure whose responsibility
it is.
If you ask one person, they think it's somebody else's, you ask that person, they think it's
the first person, it's very confusing.
Well, last fall, we hired three people.
One was a member of our church who already understood the culture and the climate pretty
(11:30):
much, a high capacity volunteer that we hired into a minister position.
The other two were coming from another church.
All three had expectations as to what would be shared with
them and what they needed to learn in order to be successful and all of their expectations
(11:51):
were dashed.
That's when we realized it had been so long since we had hired somebody.
We no longer had a good system and that is the church's responsibility and I don't believe
for a second.
It has anything to do with treating people like adults, which is another way of saying,
yeah, we just let them figure it out on their own, they're on their own when they come here.
(12:13):
I mean, what we want to do is take care of people.
We want to set them up for success.
We want to give them the information that we know they need so that they can use their
energy, getting to know the people in their ministry, getting to know all the intercacies
of this ministry that has already been established.
(12:34):
And so my urge to anyone out there listening who works for a church, look into it, see what
kind of system you have for onboarding new employees and think about some suggestions
that you might make to make that run smoother.
Think about what your experience was when you came on new and it's even 100 times worse
(12:54):
if it's your very first job.
I say that, but sometimes the seasoned professionals want to mother the new ones and father the
new ones and guide them and they're a little more likely to teach them all the things because
they know they know nothing.
But there's for some reason this expectation that if you came from another church, you pretty
much know how it is.
So let's go.
(13:14):
Let's get to work.
Why do you need help on anything?
You've been doing this for a long time.
And yet each situation is different.
Each location is different.
You got a different set of people, different culture, different climate, different rules,
different procedures.
Come on, man.
Let's help people out when they come on new.
So I hope this has been helpful to you.
If you have been someone who has come into a church and you have experienced this, send me
(13:40):
a DM and tell me what your experience was like.
I love collecting stories and I actually sometimes find a way to use them anonymously in my
podcast.
But if you are, you've been at the same church for a long time and you've also seen this problem,
think of some ways you can be part of the solution.
Hey, I hope this has been helpful to you.
Let's do this again next week.
(14:01):
It is my prayer that this podcast inspired you, blessed you, or made you think.
If so, please share it with a friend, subscribe, and please leave a review.
Hey, I want to connect with you.
Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.
Send me a DM or email me at hello@beckyburroughs.com.
(14:22):
If you are a Christian woman who leads and you are interested in one of my Leadership Boot
camps for Women in Ministry, this is a four week workshop or becoming part of a Kairos
Cohort, year long group coaching.
Send me a DM or an email for more information.
We'll talk soon.
(upbeat music)
(14:43):
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music)
In many disciplines, I'll use education as an example because that's my background.
(00:06):
When you are hired at a different school or maybe it's your first job ever, maybe it's
not, someone takes you under their wing and teaches you all the things that you need
to know about this new place where you're working.
In ministry, I'm finding that doesn't happen quite so much.
(00:26):
In fact, I asked an executive minister one time, there was a children's minister who was
really struggling.
And I said, why is no one mentoring this new children's minister in his response was,
I believe, in treating everyone as an adult.
(00:46):
That threw me, I was not real sure how to respond to that?
But I'll tell you how I would respond today.
Want to know more?
Let's dive in to today's episode.
Hey, friend, are you a people pleasing conflict avoiding leader?
Is your secret relationship with fear affecting your leadership decisions?
(01:06):
Do you want to learn how to build credibility and confidence or to navigate difficult conversations?
Do you long to manage your time without sacrificing your family or self-care?
Welcome to leadership becomes her.
I'm Becky Burroughs, your host and a minister and life and leadership coach with over 50 years
(01:27):
experience in leadership.
I firmly believe God has given you everything you need to lead well.
You have the toolbox.
You just need to learn how to use the tools.
So get comfy or start a mindless task.
You know how to pause or rewind if you need to.
Let's get started.
[MUSIC]
(01:52):
Years ago when I was working in education and I had been at this particular school for many,
many years and the middle school principal asked me if I would come teach a reading class.
It was actually a reading comprehension class for any student who had scored below a certain
level in reading comprehension on standardized testing.
(02:13):
So I said sure and it was expected that I would develop my own curriculum for this brand
new class he had thought up.
I was glad to do that.
I'm teaching this class.
I'm rocking a long day after day.
I have been teaching for maybe a week, maybe two.
And finally one day I can't remember if it was him.
I actually think it was the school secretary came to me and said, "Why have you never filled
(02:37):
out an absentee slip?"
And I'm like, "What are you talking about?"
The absentee slip that you're supposed to put on that clip outside your door every day.
You've never done one and you've been here two weeks.
I'm like, "I didn't know I was supposed to.
Nobody told me."
So she told me and I did it daily from then on.
(02:59):
And that kind of thing is going to happen.
People forget what you don't know, what seems common practice to them and perhaps they
thought that since I had been working at that school for many years that I knew about
absentee slips which I had never had to do before.
And so that can't happen from time to time.
But generally one of the things I love about education is they're all about teaching and
(03:22):
they're all about people learning.
And so they try to create an atmosphere where learning can actually take place even for
the instructor.
And they know that when you come into a new school, even if you've got a bunch of experience,
you have zero experience in that school.
You have zero experience with that culture, with that climate, with those particular procedures
(03:44):
and how that principle likes things done.
And you have to learn that.
And so it is pretty common in education to assign a mentor teacher, maybe for a semester,
maybe for the first year, maybe as needed.
But someone that you know you can go to and ask questions and not feel dumb for asking questions.
And better yet, someone who's walking along beside you, making sure you know the things
(04:08):
you need to know to be successful in this new school, new to you.
I shift over to ministry and I see, first of all, in ministry, it is not uncommon in churches
for ministers to be very siloed.
When I first came on staff 18 years ago into this church where I still work, there was very
(04:29):
little communication among ministries.
So childrens didn't necessarily know what students were doing, which didn't necessarily
know what women's ministry was doing, which didn't necessarily know about adult education.
Everybody did their own thing.
And they didn't really share with each other.
When that happens, we have problems where we want the same classroom at the same time and
nobody thought to reserve it.
(04:51):
And now we've got a problem or we're needing the same volunteers on the same day.
There's a lot of problems that happen when you don't communicate.
So one of the things we changed was that we started meeting every week for the purpose
of communication among ministers.
We would go around the room, tell us what you've got going on this week.
Tell us what is coming up this month.
Tell us what you're going to need.
(05:13):
That helped tremendously.
But still, we would hire a new minister.
It could be a brand new.
This is their first job fresh out of college or a seasoned minister who we've hired to
come to our church.
And they're just like theoretically thrown into the wing and like, "Good luck.
(05:34):
Good luck on your job.
Let us know if you need anything."
And they know nothing.
They don't know anybody's names.
They don't know where anything is kept.
They don't know how to order anything.
They don't know anything.
And so that's why I post the question.
This particular children's minister was a seasoned minister when he was hired.
And yet, and I mentioned this in an earlier podcast, I'll probably never forget it.
(05:57):
It was so shocking to me when we were trying to get to know each other.
And I'm asking questions.
He had been there about a year.
And so I'm asking questions.
At the time, I was the administration minister.
And I said, he mentioned something about third grade.
So I said, "Who is your third grade teacher?"
(06:18):
And he said, "I don't know any of their names actually.
I'm not about adults.
I'm about kids."
And I was so shocked.
I didn't know what to say because I thought, "Well, I get that.
You love kids.
That's why you're a children's minister."
But you do know those are adults who are doing your job.
They are making sure children's ministry is run like a well-oiled machine on Sunday morning
(06:42):
and they faithfully come week after week and they volunteer.
There are time.
You do know that, right?
This is what I'm thinking in my head.
And then later on in the conversation, when I asked what curriculum he was doing, he
was using because I'm interested in that sort of thing I come from a background of education.
And he's like, "Yeah, really don't know.
I let each teacher do their own thing."
(07:04):
And again, my mind started reeling.
It's like, "I would want, if I were a parent of a child in children or student ministry,
I would want to know if my child starts children's ministry as early as they have classes
and goes all the way through, let's say, fifth or sixth grade, and then they go into
student ministry.
I want to know what I can expect.
(07:26):
They will have learned not to take the place of anything I'm teaching at home.
But in addition to, I want to know, what's to keep every single teacher from teaching the
same five stories year after year after year and not touching the rest of scripture.
So needless to say, he didn't last a very long.
He ended up being there for two years.
(07:47):
But when I asked who the executive minister at the time, I think he really needs a mentor.
He said, "I believe in treating people like adults."
What is that?
What is that thinking that if you have someone walking along beside you and guiding you,
(08:08):
you're not being treated as an adult?
Quite literally, I'm a certified coach and that is my job to guide, to walk along beside
and to guide, not to tell people what to do, but to be a resource.
And I think it levels out the learning curve when a church can provide a mentor, minister
for a period of time, someone who's been there a while, who knows the ropes, who's got a great
(08:33):
attitude, who gets the job done, can be a great resource to somebody new.
Because when you're new, you don't even know if it's okay to ask questions.
Is that make you look stupid?
Are they going to be afraid?
Are they going to regret they hired you because you don't know anything?
When in reality, you just don't know this location.
(08:55):
You don't know this culture and this climate.
So here's what I'm suggesting.
What would it look like if when a church hired a minister to fill a particular role, they
immediately assigned another minister to them?
Because quite frankly, here's the other thing.
Churches don't have HR departments.
(09:17):
They can't afford them.
If they're lucky, they've got somebody on staff who's fairly knowledgeable in some HR procedures
just to make sure we're following the law.
But they don't have someone whose job it is who's got a checklist going, okay, where they
administered keys.
Check.
Do they know the rules on this and that check?
(09:37):
Have they been issued a computer check?
Those things just kind of happen.
But it's in my experience has been it's not well organized.
What would it look like if there were a checklist of all the things you need to make sure a new person
knows, understands, has access to, they know the rules for something as simple as if you
(10:01):
want to do an event at the church.
Who do you need to talk to about scheduling air conditioning or heat?
Who do you need to talk to about, do I have to buy my own paper goods or does the church
provide them?
If the church provides them, how do I access them?
That area is locked.
How do I get into it?
It is amazing to me.
(10:22):
The details that people need to know when they come on board, they don't know how to ask.
They don't know how to order office supplies.
Man, I can't find a pen anywhere.
We need some legal pads.
Do I go buy those myself and turn in a receipt?
Is there somebody who's authorized to do that?
And we make it so much harder for new people than it has to be because of our lack of
(10:44):
organization and our lack of understanding what it's like to be new.
So as I said, I've worked for this church for 18 years and I'm very proud to say that
our employees tend to stay a long time.
That's good news.
The bad news, the flip side of that is we are very weak in onboarding as a result.
(11:08):
We don't have a great system, we don't have a checklist, we're not even sure whose responsibility
it is.
If you ask one person, they think it's somebody else's, you ask that person, they think it's
the first person, it's very confusing.
Well, last fall, we hired three people.
One was a member of our church who already understood the culture and the climate pretty
(11:30):
much, a high capacity volunteer that we hired into a minister position.
The other two were coming from another church.
All three had expectations as to what would be shared with
them and what they needed to learn in order to be successful and all of their expectations
(11:51):
were dashed.
That's when we realized it had been so long since we had hired somebody.
We no longer had a good system and that is the church's responsibility and I don't believe
for a second.
It has anything to do with treating people like adults, which is another way of saying,
yeah, we just let them figure it out on their own, they're on their own when they come here.
(12:13):
I mean, what we want to do is take care of people.
We want to set them up for success.
We want to give them the information that we know they need so that they can use their
energy, getting to know the people in their ministry, getting to know all the intercacies
of this ministry that has already been established.
(12:34):
And so my urge to anyone out there listening who works for a church, look into it, see what
kind of system you have for onboarding new employees and think about some suggestions
that you might make to make that run smoother.
Think about what your experience was when you came on new and it's even 100 times worse
(12:54):
if it's your very first job.
I say that, but sometimes the seasoned professionals want to mother the new ones and father the
new ones and guide them and they're a little more likely to teach them all the things because
they know they know nothing.
But there's for some reason this expectation that if you came from another church, you pretty
much know how it is.
So let's go.
(13:14):
Let's get to work.
Why do you need help on anything?
You've been doing this for a long time.
And yet each situation is different.
Each location is different.
You got a different set of people, different culture, different climate, different rules,
different procedures.
Come on, man.
Let's help people out when they come on new.
So I hope this has been helpful to you.
If you have been someone who has come into a church and you have experienced this, send me
(13:40):
a DM and tell me what your experience was like.
I love collecting stories and I actually sometimes find a way to use them anonymously in my
podcast.
But if you are, you've been at the same church for a long time and you've also seen this problem,
think of some ways you can be part of the solution.
Hey, I hope this has been helpful to you.
Let's do this again next week.
(14:01):
It is my prayer that this podcast inspired you, blessed you, or made you think.
If so, please share it with a friend, subscribe, and please leave a review.
Hey, I want to connect with you.
Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.
Send me a DM or email me at hello@beckyburroughs.com.
(14:22):
If you are a Christian woman who leads and you are interested in one of my Leadership Boot
camps for Women in Ministry, this is a four week workshop or becoming part of a Kairos
Cohort, year long group coaching.
Send me a DM or an email for more information.
We'll talk soon.
(upbeat music)
(14:43):
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music)
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