October 1, 2025 • 12 mins
Hey, Friend!
Ministry is rewarding—but it can also be draining. Behind the pulpit and the programs are real people who long to know that their presence matters.
In this week’s episode of Leadership Becomes Her, I’m talking about what it really takes for a minister to feel valued. From encouragement to trust, from supporting their whole life to sharing the work of ministry, you’ll discover practical ways to help the leaders in your life thrive.
This episode isn’t just for ministers—it’s for anyone who wants to create a culture of honor and care in the church.
Let’s be people who notice, encourage, and lift up those who lead us.
I pray this blesses you,
Becky
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Today, we're leaning into a conversation that's very close to my heart why many women in
(00:06):
ministry don't feel valued.
Now if you're a regular listener, you know that in last week's episode, it was about what
it takes for a minister to feel valued.
And you would think that's enough.
But unfortunately, for women in ministry, it's even a bigger challenge.
If you are old enough to remember the famous dancer, Fred Astaire, people used to marvel
(00:32):
at how well he danced.
He was smooth.
It was just incredible to watch him.
But attached to Fred Astaire was a woman by the name of Ginger Rogers who did everything
Fred did, only she did it backwards while wearing heels.
But she didn't get the recognition that Fred did.
It's a little bit like being a woman in ministry.
(00:56):
Every challenge that I talked about in last week's episode for ministers in general apply
to women in ministry plus all of the challenges that only apply to women in ministry.
Now if you are listening and you are a woman in ministry, you already know this isn't theory.
(01:17):
You've lived it.
You probably have felt the tension of bringing your whole self into spaces that weren't ready
for your leadership.
And if you're listening as someone who serves alongside women in ministry whether as a colleague
or a church member or a church leader, this is your invitation to consider.
(01:38):
What does it really mean to value the women that God has called and equipped to lead?
Want to know more?
Let's dive in to today's episode.
Hey friend, are you a people pleasing conflict avoiding leader?
Is your secret relationship with fear affecting your leadership decisions?
(02:01):
Do you want to learn how to build credibility and confidence or to navigate difficult conversations?
Do you long to manage your time without sacrificing your family or self-care?
Welcome to leadership becomes her.
I'm Becky Burroughs, your host and a minister and life and leadership coach with over 50 years
(02:21):
experience in leadership.
I firmly believe God has given you everything you need to lead well.
You have the toolbox.
You just need to learn how to use the tools.
So get comfy or start a mindless task.
You know how to pause or rewind if you need to.
Let's get started.
If you're a regular listener, you know that I have been in ministry for this is my 19th
(02:53):
year.
But several years ago, I went back to school and got certification as a professional
coach because I wanted to provide leadership coaching for other women.
In particular, women in ministry, women who serve in nonprofits and small business because
I have 50 years experience in leadership positions and I've learned a thing or two.
(03:18):
And so what I want to talk about today are things that I have learned from women, conversations
I have had with women that I serve with, women that I have coached, women who have attended
my leadership boot camp, women that I network with.
These are real life stories, real life things that women are face when they are in a leadership
(03:41):
role in ministry.
So we're going to talk about the unique challenges that women face in ministry, some key things
that help women feel truly valued.
Practical ways you can affirm, encourage and support women in ministry.
And finally, the ripple effect it creates when women are seen and celebrated for who
(04:02):
God made them to be all along.
So let's start by naming the challenges because when we name them, we honor the reality
of what women are navigating.
Women in ministry often experience their authority or their leadership being second guess.
I'll go into more detail here in a minute.
(04:24):
Women in ministry often experience feeling invisible in male dominated spaces.
They often experience that their contributions are being overlooked or minimized, even
that their needs are being overlooked or minimized.
And finally, they experience the challenges of carrying both ministry and family responsibility
(04:46):
without acknowledgement of the weight.
For some, it's subtle, it's subtle, like being interrupted in meetings or not being introduced
with the same respect as the male ministers or pastors are being expected to take notes
while others make the decisions or make the coffee for meetings or being inadvertently
(05:09):
excluded from meetings where decisions are being made because all the male ministers
go to lunch together and don't think to invite the female ministers and then they come back
and share the things they talked about and the decisions they make.
For others, it's more overt being told outright that their gifts are not welcome or that their
(05:32):
calling is not valid.
One of the ways that is done in churches is by hiring a woman to do the work of ministry
but not calling her a minister, calling her a director or a coordinator or even a ministry
assistant regardless of their education and background.
(05:55):
You know what?
These things begin to add up and they can leave women questioning, not just their role,
not just their calling but sometimes even their worth.
In churches, when a church decides they're going to do something different and they need
to study what scripture says about women and how women can use their gifts and how some
(06:22):
believe they can't use their gifts, it is not uncommon.
For a church to go through that study, they'll bring in an expert, it's usually a theologian,
a college professor who specializes in the New Testament or who is fluent in or whatever
and they'll go through the study as a leadership team, they'll go through the study with the
(06:43):
congregation and then fear sets in and they say, well, you know, if we do something about
it, if we don't see any scriptural reason why women can't serve as ministers, why women
can't lead in churches but if we make that change, we'll lose people or if we make that change,
it'll split the church.
So they make that fear based decision, they decide to do nothing for now and they just
(07:07):
sit on it for a while.
Not realizing that you've got more than two camps in your church, you've got the people
that have their bags packed, ready to leave if you decide to bring women into the ministry
space, they have people that have their bags packed, ready to leave if you don't and they
have the people in the middle who just love this church and they just want things to settle
(07:30):
down, they don't care if you keep things the way they are, they don't care if you let women
serve in ministry, they just love this church and want to feel good about coming.
And then some churches, after a few years, will, you know, due to pressure, will decide
to do the study again.
(07:50):
And now they're, and so they'll tiptoe into allowing women to do things but not everything.
It is, it is fascinating to me how every church goes through this on their own, usually
without talking to other churches to learn from them.
What did you do?
How did you do it?
What did you decide?
(08:10):
How was it received?
What steps did you take?
No, every church tries to muddle through this on their own.
Meanwhile, what we're talking about really is not what women can kind of do.
We're talking about do we value the gifts of women in the same way we value the gifts of
(08:34):
men?
We are talking about the value of women because not every woman is gifted
to teach or work with children.
They do well to work with their own children.
They're not gifted to work with a classroom full of children.
That's why not every woman is a schoolteacher.
Not every woman is gifted to cook, to bring casseroles.
(08:59):
Not every woman wants to do that.
Many do, but not every woman.
Not every woman feels gifted to plan events behind the scenes.
Women are very gifted at that, but it's a specialized skill.
There are women that God is gifted to lead, and they're out there leading in their homes.
They're leading at work.
(09:20):
They're leading in the community, but church says, "Nope, can't lead here."
And so women are having to navigate that.
And the churches that are reversing that and saying, "Yes, we believe God has gifted you
to lead."
Here's what we invite you to do here.
The first women that do that, let's say you have a woman that gets up and reads a scripture
(09:42):
from the pulpit, the specific challenge that she has that no man ever has had is there
are people out here in this audience that don't believe I have a right to be here.
That is a heavy, heavy, heavy burden to bear.
But here's the good news.
In the same way that a church culture can diminish a woman's value.
(10:07):
a church can also choose to build value.
And churches can become places where people, where women feel seen and honored and fully
released into the calling that God has placed on their hearts.
So what does it look like to help a woman feel valued?
(10:27):
Let's walk through just a few ways that a church and members of a church can help a woman
feel valued.
Number one, being taken seriously as leaders.
Women feel valued when they're trusted with responsibility and their decisions are respected.
Listening to their ideas without dismissing them communicates worth invitations to lead
(10:54):
at the table, not just serve behind the scenes, signal true affirmation.
I do consultation with churches and I have worked with more than one church that has women
doing the work of ministry where the men are called ministers and the women are called
something else.
The men are invited from time to time into the elder room to sit with the elders at the
(11:19):
table.
The women are not.
The men are invited into room where decisions are being made.
The women are not.
The women are given a voice.
I'm sorry, the men are given a voice, the women are not.
You're getting the trend.
It's happening all across this country.
And it communicates, we don't value you.
(11:41):
We don't value your input.
We don't value your thoughts, your expertise, your wisdom, your intelligence in the same
way that we do men.
If you think you value women, the same way you do men.
If you think you value what women bring to ministry, prove it.
Give them a seat at the table where decisions are being made.
(12:04):
Allow them to use their voice.
So many women that I coach, I find that as they describe their calling with great enthusiasm
and then they begin to describe their work setting and their voice gets smaller and
smaller and softer and softer and they begin to make excuses for their workplace.
(12:25):
Well they can't afford to pay me what they pay the men.
Well they're good men and they love me and they value me in their own way.
And I'm watching them literally shrink to fit the role they've been assigned rather than
expanding to fully live into, living into God's calling for their life.
(12:47):
So men providing invitations for women to join them at the table where decisions are being
made, signals, true affirmation.
Secondly providing equal opportunities in recognition.
Value comes when women are given the same chances, the same opportunities that men are
(13:08):
to preach, to teach, to lead teams, to shape vision, vision, to lead committees and
public acknowledgement matters, especially in this generation when public acknowledgement
is coming from a man.
I don't like the fact that women can't be seen on their own for the gifts God has given
(13:31):
them, but it's a harsh reality in this generation that women who are trailblazers in leadership
and churches need men who believe in them to stand in front of them and pave the way.
We need men to provide public recognition of our gifts and the value that we bring to the
(13:53):
table.
We need men that will say, "Oh you need a speaker for that event, you need to call Becky."
"Oh you need somebody to consult with your church, you need to call Becky or whoever the
woman is that they are in relationship with that they can validate the gifts that they
bring."
silence can feel like invisibility, but affirmation brings confidence.
(14:17):
The third thing that women would help women feel valued is respect for their voice and their
perspective.
Women bring a different lens to the congregation.
When you have, let's say, an elder ship made up of older white men, they have one perspective
that of older white men.
(14:37):
But when they invite people of color into the room, when they invite women into the room,
either to become part of the leadership team or at the very least to get their thoughts,
their opinions, their perspective, that helps broaden this very, very narrow perspective
that they currently have.
(15:00):
women have different types of relationships and women have walked roads that men have not walked.
When their input is sought out and actually applied, it communicates your voice matters here.
Here's something else that would help women feel valued, support for their whole life realities,
(15:21):
many women juggle ministry with family, with caregiving, and with community responsibilities.
Valuing them means creating structures that allow flexibility that respects their boundaries
and doesn't shame them for honoring both their calling and their family.
So a lot of churches mistakenly believe that if they're going to hire a woman to do the
(15:43):
work of ministry and have actually had elder ships say this to me, if they're going to
hire a woman to do the work of ministry, they need to offer her a part-time job because
her family comes first.
That's great sentiment.
But women are perfectly capable on their own of deciding that what they need is a part-time
(16:05):
job because what many, many, many women actually want is a job with flexibility.
And ministry has the capacity to provide that.
And here's what that looks like.
It may mean a part-time job.
It may mean a part-time job for a season, with annually revisiting it to
say, "Are you ready to work full-time?"
(16:27):
Now that your children are in school, it may mean a full-time job with the flexibility and
trust to work from home when needed to bring your children in tow and put them in a room
with something to entertain them when needed to arrive after you've dropped your kids off
(16:48):
from school and to leave in time to pick up your kids from school and to finish your work
when you can.
That type of flexibility, though, requires trust and good communication.
And if a woman senses that she is in an environment where she is not trusted and where there is
not good communication, mark it down.
(17:10):
She's going to ask for a part-time job.
She does not want to be put in a position where she is doubted or where there is suspicion
that she's actually not doing her job.
I worked with a church about 19 years ago where it became evident to me that a children's
minister in her 40s was making significantly less than a student minister mail in his 20s.
(17:35):
And when I asked this church leadership why there was the discrepancy, they said, "Well,
we're letting her do the mommy thing."
And when I questioned it, they said, "Oh, she's part-time?"
No, she's full-time.
But she leaves every day in time to pick her kids up from school.
She says she's finishing her work at home.
Well, fast forward to today, post-pandemic, the men have even learned that yes, you can
(17:59):
work from home.
And yet she was being penalized for that.
And that's not even legal, by the way.
The equal rights laws established in 1969 say equal pay for equal work.
And so these are not bad men making these decisions.
(18:20):
These are men who are ignorant about the laws and churches can't afford to have an HR
department to make sure we are abiding by the laws.
And so churches are rationalizing paying women less and offering them part-time jobs for
full-time, for a full-time position.
There is no such thing as part-time ministry.
ministry is about people
(18:42):
You can't turn it on and turn it off after 15 hours a week.
You just can't.
Something else, something else that women need is a safe and encouraging community.
Women in ministry often feel isolated.
And it's not uncommon for a woman to be the only female minister on staff.
But even if there are multiple females, it is still a very male-dominated world.
(19:07):
And it's extremely beneficial for women to have a peer network, especially being with
other women outside of their ministry context who understand their world.
And that can make all the difference.
Churches that champion women instead of merely tolerating them create spaces where they
(19:27):
can flourish.
Churches that invest in women saying, we are going to pay for you to have a coach.
Here is your professional development budget.
We want you to go to this workshop.
We want you to go to this conference.
We want you to get additional training.
That shows value for her development as a leader.
(19:50):
What women need to feel value is advocacy from both women and men.
And I alluded to this a moment ago.
One of the most powerful ways women can feel valued is when men in leadership use their
voice, use their collateral, relational collateral, use their leverage to affirm her gifts, to
(20:11):
recommend her for opportunities, and to stand with her and even in front of her when
resistance comes.
It's not just enough to privately encourage a woman.
We must have public support.
So let's get really practical.
How do we live this out?
words you can say that a firm, a woman in ministry or things like, I trust your leadership.
(20:36):
You are wise.
I love it when you contribute to the conversation.
Your voice has changed how I see this issue.
I so appreciate hearing your perspective.
I never thought of it that way.
Publicly introducing her as minister or pastor, not just by her first name or saying she
works here.
(20:58):
Other gestures that communicate value, sending a handwritten note after she leads or teaches
or preaches if your culture encourages that.
Quoting her insights in a meeting and giving her credit, celebrating her ministry wins as
loudly as you do that of the male ministers.
There are structural practices that show respect, paying her equitably compared to male peers,
(21:26):
providing maternity leave and flexibility if she is parenting, encouraging Sabbath rest and
sabbaticals without guilt.
There is community support creating women in ministry cohorts or mentoring circles, pairing
her with both male and female mentors who can advocate for her, inviting her family into
(21:47):
church life in ways that support rather than drain.
There are everyday simple things you can do.
Don't interrupt when she is speaking in a meeting, respecting her when she says no, praying
for her regularly and letting her know that you are.
Sometimes it is the smallest actions that add up to the biggest culture shift.
(22:12):
So what happens when a woman in ministry feels valued?
They, you will begin to see them leading with confidence instead of fear.
They will step fully into their gifts without holding back.
They will become role models for all the women and girls who are coming after them.
And ultimately, the whole church will reflect God's kingdom more fully.
(22:36):
How is that possible?
Right now if you are in a church that is led exclusively by men, they are only seeing experiencing
half of the image of God because God created male and female in his image.
And if male and female are valued for the gifts that they bring, that means that some of
(22:58):
your leaders are going to be male and female.
I think about Jesus.
I can't help but think about Jesus.
He consistently valued women.
And this was at a time when women were considered nothing but property.
He saw them, he called them, he affirmed them, he entrusted them with his mission.
(23:23):
Shouldn't we do the same?
So here is my challenge for you this week.
Choose one woman in ministry that you know.
It could be a minister in your church.
It could be a mentor, a friend and do one specific thing to show her.
She is valued.
Speak a word of affirmation.
(23:44):
Invite her voice into a conversation.
Thank her for the way that she leads.
Small actions build a culture of value.
And you can start that today.
If you are serving alongside women in ministry this week, ask yourself, how can I affirm her
leadership?
(24:04):
And when women thrive, the whole image of God, the whole body of Christ flourishes.
If this has been helpful to you, please share this with someone that you think this would
benefit.
And hey, let's do this again next week.
It is my prayer that this podcast inspired you, blessed you or made you think.
(24:27):
If so, please share it with a friend, subscribe and please leave a review.
Hey, I want to connect with you.
Follow me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn.
Send me a DM or email me at hello@beckyburroughs.com.
If you are a Christian woman who leads and you are interested in one of my Leadership Boot
(24:48):
camps for Women in Ministry, this is a four week workshop or becoming part of a Kairos
Cohort, year-long group coaching.
Send me a DM or an email for more information.
We'll talk soon.
[Music]
Today, we're leaning into a conversation that's very close to my heart why many women in
(00:06):
ministry don't feel valued.
Now if you're a regular listener, you know that in last week's episode, it was about what
it takes for a minister to feel valued.
And you would think that's enough.
But unfortunately, for women in ministry, it's even a bigger challenge.
If you are old enough to remember the famous dancer, Fred Astaire, people used to marvel
(00:32):
at how well he danced.
He was smooth.
It was just incredible to watch him.
But attached to Fred Astaire was a woman by the name of Ginger Rogers who did everything
Fred did, only she did it backwards while wearing heels.
But she didn't get the recognition that Fred did.
It's a little bit like being a woman in ministry.
(00:56):
Every challenge that I talked about in last week's episode for ministers in general apply
to women in ministry plus all of the challenges that only apply to women in ministry.
Now if you are listening and you are a woman in ministry, you already know this isn't theory.
(01:17):
You've lived it.
You probably have felt the tension of bringing your whole self into spaces that weren't ready
for your leadership.
And if you're listening as someone who serves alongside women in ministry whether as a colleague
or a church member or a church leader, this is your invitation to consider.
(01:38):
What does it really mean to value the women that God has called and equipped to lead?
Want to know more?
Let's dive in to today's episode.
Hey friend, are you a people pleasing conflict avoiding leader?
Is your secret relationship with fear affecting your leadership decisions?
(02:01):
Do you want to learn how to build credibility and confidence or to navigate difficult conversations?
Do you long to manage your time without sacrificing your family or self-care?
Welcome to leadership becomes her.
I'm Becky Burroughs, your host and a minister and life and leadership coach with over 50 years
(02:21):
experience in leadership.
I firmly believe God has given you everything you need to lead well.
You have the toolbox.
You just need to learn how to use the tools.
So get comfy or start a mindless task.
You know how to pause or rewind if you need to.
Let's get started.
If you're a regular listener, you know that I have been in ministry for this is my 19th
(02:53):
year.
But several years ago, I went back to school and got certification as a professional
coach because I wanted to provide leadership coaching for other women.
In particular, women in ministry, women who serve in nonprofits and small business because
I have 50 years experience in leadership positions and I've learned a thing or two.
(03:18):
And so what I want to talk about today are things that I have learned from women, conversations
I have had with women that I serve with, women that I have coached, women who have attended
my leadership boot camp, women that I network with.
These are real life stories, real life things that women are face when they are in a leadership
(03:41):
role in ministry.
So we're going to talk about the unique challenges that women face in ministry, some key things
that help women feel truly valued.
Practical ways you can affirm, encourage and support women in ministry.
And finally, the ripple effect it creates when women are seen and celebrated for who
(04:02):
God made them to be all along.
So let's start by naming the challenges because when we name them, we honor the reality
of what women are navigating.
Women in ministry often experience their authority or their leadership being second guess.
I'll go into more detail here in a minute.
(04:24):
Women in ministry often experience feeling invisible in male dominated spaces.
They often experience that their contributions are being overlooked or minimized, even
that their needs are being overlooked or minimized.
And finally, they experience the challenges of carrying both ministry and family responsibility
(04:46):
without acknowledgement of the weight.
For some, it's subtle, it's subtle, like being interrupted in meetings or not being introduced
with the same respect as the male ministers or pastors are being expected to take notes
while others make the decisions or make the coffee for meetings or being inadvertently
(05:09):
excluded from meetings where decisions are being made because all the male ministers
go to lunch together and don't think to invite the female ministers and then they come back
and share the things they talked about and the decisions they make.
For others, it's more overt being told outright that their gifts are not welcome or that their
(05:32):
calling is not valid.
One of the ways that is done in churches is by hiring a woman to do the work of ministry
but not calling her a minister, calling her a director or a coordinator or even a ministry
assistant regardless of their education and background.
(05:55):
You know what?
These things begin to add up and they can leave women questioning, not just their role,
not just their calling but sometimes even their worth.
In churches, when a church decides they're going to do something different and they need
to study what scripture says about women and how women can use their gifts and how some
(06:22):
believe they can't use their gifts, it is not uncommon.
For a church to go through that study, they'll bring in an expert, it's usually a theologian,
a college professor who specializes in the New Testament or who is fluent in or whatever
and they'll go through the study as a leadership team, they'll go through the study with the
(06:43):
congregation and then fear sets in and they say, well, you know, if we do something about
it, if we don't see any scriptural reason why women can't serve as ministers, why women
can't lead in churches but if we make that change, we'll lose people or if we make that change,
it'll split the church.
So they make that fear based decision, they decide to do nothing for now and they just
(07:07):
sit on it for a while.
Not realizing that you've got more than two camps in your church, you've got the people
that have their bags packed, ready to leave if you decide to bring women into the ministry
space, they have people that have their bags packed, ready to leave if you don't and they
have the people in the middle who just love this church and they just want things to settle
(07:30):
down, they don't care if you keep things the way they are, they don't care if you let women
serve in ministry, they just love this church and want to feel good about coming.
And then some churches, after a few years, will, you know, due to pressure, will decide
to do the study again.
(07:50):
And now they're, and so they'll tiptoe into allowing women to do things but not everything.
It is, it is fascinating to me how every church goes through this on their own, usually
without talking to other churches to learn from them.
What did you do?
How did you do it?
What did you decide?
(08:10):
How was it received?
What steps did you take?
No, every church tries to muddle through this on their own.
Meanwhile, what we're talking about really is not what women can kind of do.
We're talking about do we value the gifts of women in the same way we value the gifts of
(08:34):
men?
We are talking about the value of women because not every woman is gifted
to teach or work with children.
They do well to work with their own children.
They're not gifted to work with a classroom full of children.
That's why not every woman is a schoolteacher.
Not every woman is gifted to cook, to bring casseroles.
(08:59):
Not every woman wants to do that.
Many do, but not every woman.
Not every woman feels gifted to plan events behind the scenes.
Women are very gifted at that, but it's a specialized skill.
There are women that God is gifted to lead, and they're out there leading in their homes.
They're leading at work.
(09:20):
They're leading in the community, but church says, "Nope, can't lead here."
And so women are having to navigate that.
And the churches that are reversing that and saying, "Yes, we believe God has gifted you
to lead."
Here's what we invite you to do here.
The first women that do that, let's say you have a woman that gets up and reads a scripture
(09:42):
from the pulpit, the specific challenge that she has that no man ever has had is there
are people out here in this audience that don't believe I have a right to be here.
That is a heavy, heavy, heavy burden to bear.
But here's the good news.
In the same way that a church culture can diminish a woman's value.
(10:07):
a church can also choose to build value.
And churches can become places where people, where women feel seen and honored and fully
released into the calling that God has placed on their hearts.
So what does it look like to help a woman feel valued?
(10:27):
Let's walk through just a few ways that a church and members of a church can help a woman
feel valued.
Number one, being taken seriously as leaders.
Women feel valued when they're trusted with responsibility and their decisions are respected.
Listening to their ideas without dismissing them communicates worth invitations to lead
(10:54):
at the table, not just serve behind the scenes, signal true affirmation.
I do consultation with churches and I have worked with more than one church that has women
doing the work of ministry where the men are called ministers and the women are called
something else.
The men are invited from time to time into the elder room to sit with the elders at the
(11:19):
table.
The women are not.
The men are invited into room where decisions are being made.
The women are not.
The women are given a voice.
I'm sorry, the men are given a voice, the women are not.
You're getting the trend.
It's happening all across this country.
And it communicates, we don't value you.
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We don't value your input.
We don't value your thoughts, your expertise, your wisdom, your intelligence in the same
way that we do men.
If you think you value women, the same way you do men.
If you think you value what women bring to ministry, prove it.
Give them a seat at the table where decisions are being made.
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Allow them to use their voice.
So many women that I coach, I find that as they describe their calling with great enthusiasm
and then they begin to describe their work setting and their voice gets smaller and
smaller and softer and softer and they begin to make excuses for their workplace.
(12:25):
Well they can't afford to pay me what they pay the men.
Well they're good men and they love me and they value me in their own way.
And I'm watching them literally shrink to fit the role they've been assigned rather than
expanding to fully live into, living into God's calling for their life.
(12:47):
So men providing invitations for women to join them at the table where decisions are being
made, signals, true affirmation.
Secondly providing equal opportunities in recognition.
Value comes when women are given the same chances, the same opportunities that men are
(13:08):
to preach, to teach, to lead teams, to shape vision, vision, to lead committees and
public acknowledgement matters, especially in this generation when public acknowledgement
is coming from a man.
I don't like the fact that women can't be seen on their own for the gifts God has given
(13:31):
them, but it's a harsh reality in this generation that women who are trailblazers in leadership
and churches need men who believe in them to stand in front of them and pave the way.
We need men to provide public recognition of our gifts and the value that we bring to the
(13:53):
table.
We need men that will say, "Oh you need a speaker for that event, you need to call Becky."
"Oh you need somebody to consult with your church, you need to call Becky or whoever the
woman is that they are in relationship with that they can validate the gifts that they
bring."
silence can feel like invisibility, but affirmation brings confidence.
(14:17):
The third thing that women would help women feel valued is respect for their voice and their
perspective.
Women bring a different lens to the congregation.
When you have, let's say, an elder ship made up of older white men, they have one perspective
that of older white men.
(14:37):
But when they invite people of color into the room, when they invite women into the room,
either to become part of the leadership team or at the very least to get their thoughts,
their opinions, their perspective, that helps broaden this very, very narrow perspective
that they currently have.
(15:00):
women have different types of relationships and women have walked roads that men have not walked.
When their input is sought out and actually applied, it communicates your voice matters here.
Here's something else that would help women feel valued, support for their whole life realities,
(15:21):
many women juggle ministry with family, with caregiving, and with community responsibilities.
Valuing them means creating structures that allow flexibility that respects their boundaries
and doesn't shame them for honoring both their calling and their family.
So a lot of churches mistakenly believe that if they're going to hire a woman to do the
(15:43):
work of ministry and have actually had elder ships say this to me, if they're going to
hire a woman to do the work of ministry, they need to offer her a part-time job because
her family comes first.
That's great sentiment.
But women are perfectly capable on their own of deciding that what they need is a part-time
(16:05):
job because what many, many, many women actually want is a job with flexibility.
And ministry has the capacity to provide that.
And here's what that looks like.
It may mean a part-time job.
It may mean a part-time job for a season, with annually revisiting it to
say, "Are you ready to work full-time?"
(16:27):
Now that your children are in school, it may mean a full-time job with the flexibility and
trust to work from home when needed to bring your children in tow and put them in a room
with something to entertain them when needed to arrive after you've dropped your kids off
(16:48):
from school and to leave in time to pick up your kids from school and to finish your work
when you can.
That type of flexibility, though, requires trust and good communication.
And if a woman senses that she is in an environment where she is not trusted and where there is
not good communication, mark it down.
(17:10):
She's going to ask for a part-time job.
She does not want to be put in a position where she is doubted or where there is suspicion
that she's actually not doing her job.
I worked with a church about 19 years ago where it became evident to me that a children's
minister in her 40s was making significantly less than a student minister mail in his 20s.
(17:35):
And when I asked this church leadership why there was the discrepancy, they said, "Well,
we're letting her do the mommy thing."
And when I questioned it, they said, "Oh, she's part-time?"
No, she's full-time.
But she leaves every day in time to pick her kids up from school.
She says she's finishing her work at home.
Well, fast forward to today, post-pandemic, the men have even learned that yes, you can
(17:59):
work from home.
And yet she was being penalized for that.
And that's not even legal, by the way.
The equal rights laws established in 1969 say equal pay for equal work.
And so these are not bad men making these decisions.
(18:20):
These are men who are ignorant about the laws and churches can't afford to have an HR
department to make sure we are abiding by the laws.
And so churches are rationalizing paying women less and offering them part-time jobs for
full-time, for a full-time position.
There is no such thing as part-time ministry.
ministry is about people
(18:42):
You can't turn it on and turn it off after 15 hours a week.
You just can't.
Something else, something else that women need is a safe and encouraging community.
Women in ministry often feel isolated.
And it's not uncommon for a woman to be the only female minister on staff.
But even if there are multiple females, it is still a very male-dominated world.
(19:07):
And it's extremely beneficial for women to have a peer network, especially being with
other women outside of their ministry context who understand their world.
And that can make all the difference.
Churches that champion women instead of merely tolerating them create spaces where they
(19:27):
can flourish.
Churches that invest in women saying, we are going to pay for you to have a coach.
Here is your professional development budget.
We want you to go to this workshop.
We want you to go to this conference.
We want you to get additional training.
That shows value for her development as a leader.
(19:50):
What women need to feel value is advocacy from both women and men.
And I alluded to this a moment ago.
One of the most powerful ways women can feel valued is when men in leadership use their
voice, use their collateral, relational collateral, use their leverage to affirm her gifts, to
(20:11):
recommend her for opportunities, and to stand with her and even in front of her when
resistance comes.
It's not just enough to privately encourage a woman.
We must have public support.
So let's get really practical.
How do we live this out?
words you can say that a firm, a woman in ministry or things like, I trust your leadership.
(20:36):
You are wise.
I love it when you contribute to the conversation.
Your voice has changed how I see this issue.
I so appreciate hearing your perspective.
I never thought of it that way.
Publicly introducing her as minister or pastor, not just by her first name or saying she
works here.
(20:58):
Other gestures that communicate value, sending a handwritten note after she leads or teaches
or preaches if your culture encourages that.
Quoting her insights in a meeting and giving her credit, celebrating her ministry wins as
loudly as you do that of the male ministers.
There are structural practices that show respect, paying her equitably compared to male peers,
(21:26):
providing maternity leave and flexibility if she is parenting, encouraging Sabbath rest and
sabbaticals without guilt.
There is community support creating women in ministry cohorts or mentoring circles, pairing
her with both male and female mentors who can advocate for her, inviting her family into
(21:47):
church life in ways that support rather than drain.
There are everyday simple things you can do.
Don't interrupt when she is speaking in a meeting, respecting her when she says no, praying
for her regularly and letting her know that you are.
Sometimes it is the smallest actions that add up to the biggest culture shift.
(22:12):
So what happens when a woman in ministry feels valued?
They, you will begin to see them leading with confidence instead of fear.
They will step fully into their gifts without holding back.
They will become role models for all the women and girls who are coming after them.
And ultimately, the whole church will reflect God's kingdom more fully.
(22:36):
How is that possible?
Right now if you are in a church that is led exclusively by men, they are only seeing experiencing
half of the image of God because God created male and female in his image.
And if male and female are valued for the gifts that they bring, that means that some of
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your leaders are going to be male and female.
I think about Jesus.
I can't help but think about Jesus.
He consistently valued women.
And this was at a time when women were considered nothing but property.
He saw them, he called them, he affirmed them, he entrusted them with his mission.
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Shouldn't we do the same?
So here is my challenge for you this week.
Choose one woman in ministry that you know.
It could be a minister in your church.
It could be a mentor, a friend and do one specific thing to show her.
She is valued.
Speak a word of affirmation.
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Invite her voice into a conversation.
Thank her for the way that she leads.
Small actions build a culture of value.
And you can start that today.
If you are serving alongside women in ministry this week, ask yourself, how can I affirm her
leadership?
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And when women thrive, the whole image of God, the whole body of Christ flourishes.
If this has been helpful to you, please share this with someone that you think this would
benefit.
And hey, let's do this again next week.
It is my prayer that this podcast inspired you, blessed you or made you think.
(24:27):
If so, please share it with a friend, subscribe and please leave a review.
Hey, I want to connect with you.
Follow me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn.
Send me a DM or email me at hello@beckyburroughs.com.
If you are a Christian woman who leads and you are interested in one of my Leadership Boot
(24:48):
camps for Women in Ministry, this is a four week workshop or becoming part of a Kairos
Cohort, year-long group coaching.
Send me a DM or an email for more information.
We'll talk soon.
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