November 26, 2025 • 9 mins
Hey, Friend!
In the last episode, I talked about The Courage to Ask for What You Need - how brave it is to voice what sustains you, instead of waiting for others to notice.
In today’s episode, we take the next step: once you have learned to ask, how do you Communicate Your Value Without Apology, fear, or defensiveness?
Here’s how. The same courage that helps you ask for what you need will help you speak up for what you bring to the table.
I pray this blesses you!
Becky
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
In our last episode, we talked about the courage to ask for what you need,
(00:04):
how brave it is to voice what sustains you instead of waiting for others to notice.
Today, we take the next step.
Once you've learned to ask, "How do you communicate your value without apology, without fear,
and certainly without being defensive?"
Because the same courage that helps you ask for what you need will help you speak up for what you bring.
(00:29):
This episode is called "Communicating your value without apology."
Want to know more?
Let's dive in to today's episode.
Hey, friend, are you a people-pleasing conflict-avoiding leader?
Is your secret relationship with fear affecting your leadership decisions?
Do you want to learn how to build credibility and confidence
(00:53):
or to navigate difficult conversations?
Do you long to manage your time?
Without sacrificing your family or self-care, welcome to leadership becomes her.
I beg you, Burrows, your host, and a minister and life and leadership coach
with over 50 years experience in leadership.
I firmly believe God has given you everything you need to lead well.
(01:17):
You have the toolbox.
You just need to learn how to use the tools.
So get comfy or start a mindless task.
You know how to pause or rewind if you need to.
Let's get started.
Okay, let's be honest about the tension that women feel.
(01:38):
And this one is tricky.
We have been conditioned as women to believe that confidence is braggie.
It's conceited and that humility is making self-deprecating remarks or diminishing what we
do or even just being silent when we ought to speak up.
So we tend to downplay our gifts.
(01:58):
We say, "Oh, well, that's nothing anybody could have done that."
"Well, I just did a little."
I don't do much."
But we've got to realize that minimizing your contribution does not make you humble.
It just keeps you hidden.
Scripture never tells us to hide our gifts.
It says to use them faithfully.
(02:19):
Romans 1:26 says, "We have different gifts according to the grace given to each of us."
That's not pride, that's stewardship.
And when you communicate your value, you're not promoting yourself, you're partnering with
God.
Think about Jesus and Luke 4:18.
He stood and said, "The spirit of the Lord is upon me because He has anointed me."
(02:44):
He named His calling out loud, not for ego, but for the sake of the name of God.
And in the mission, sometimes your silence isn’t humility.
It's says a tation.
And the kind of needs women who are both humble and honest about what they can carry.
That requires a mixture of confidence with humility.
(03:07):
Confidence in the gift, well, first of all, confidence in God.
Confidence in the gifts that God has given you.
Confidence in the calling that God has placed upon your heart.
Yet the humility to know that you still have things to learn.
There are still areas in which you can grow, but using your voice, owning your spot, taking
(03:29):
your seat at the table where decisions are being made.
It is so important as women that we practice both confidence and humility.
There are times when we need to lead with confidence.
There are times when we need to lead with humility and knowing the difference.
But this episode is about how to speak without apology.
(03:51):
So I'm going to suggest three ways to communicate your value with grace.
Number one, be confident in clarity.
Instead of saying, "I don't know if this is going to help, but," or, "This may be a dumb
idea, but."
I don't know if anybody is going to agree with me, but those are phrases
(04:13):
that are not helpful.
Those are phrases that, as you're saying them, begin to shrink your contribution.
It would be much more helpful to speak confidently and say, "Hey, I've got an idea that could
strengthen our team," or, "I've got something I'd like all of us to discuss for a moment," or,
"Here's an idea that just came to me that really does merit us thinking about."
(04:40):
Something that sounds confident.
Number two, frame your contributions around service.
Something like, "I'd love to lead that because it aligns with my strengths.
It aligns with my passion for developing others."
Or, "I love developing others.
I look for opportunities to help others grow in their leadership."
(05:03):
You see how you are claiming a strength that you have, but also framing it as a contribution
that you want to make.
Number three, detach your worth from however they respond.
You see, you can speak truthfully about your value even if it's not immediately recognized,
(05:24):
because the key is, the point is to be obedient.
Be obedient to God's call.
Be obedient to the gift God has uniquely given you even if others around you don't immediately
validate them.
So communicating your value without apology requires an inner shift.
(05:44):
It requires.
It actually requires that it starts inside of you.
You've got to believe that your presence is a gift, not a problem.
That your leadership isn't extra.
It is essential to the mission.
And if you struggle with that, try this short prayer.
Lord, let me speak from wholeness, not from fear.
Teach me to name what you've placed in me and to offer it with humility and strength.
(06:09):
Because confidence in calling that is not arrogance.
It is alignment.
It is alignment with what you feel God is calling you to do.
It is alignment with the gifts that you have identified.
God has placed in you and you are simply being obedient to the call.
(06:31):
So I want you to think this week, where have you caught yourself apologizing for your own
value?
Maybe you've been downplaying your experience.
Maybe you've been avoiding opportunities.
Maybe you've been shrinking to fit the role that you've been assigned.
Maybe you've been softening your voice in meetings.
(06:53):
Challenge yourself.
In one conversation this week, remove the apology.
Don't shrink.
Don't over-explain.
Just stand in your truth.
Last week, we're going to close this many series with the topic of creating cultures that value
(07:13):
women.
Because being placed personally, being valued personally leads to valuing others intentionally.
Until then, lead boldly, speak freely, use your voice, own your spot, ask for what you need
and remember.
(07:34):
You're not asking for permission to be valuable.
You already are.
God placed that value on you.
He loved you into existence.
He decided what you were going to look like and what gifts you were going to have and what
value you were going to bring and what role you were going to fill.
(07:55):
It's up to you to figure out what gifts God has given you, what God is calling you to do
in this particular season of your life and then give it everything you have.
That is value.
That is stewardship.
That is obedience.
Hey, let's do this again next week.
(08:17):
It is my prayer that this podcast inspired you, blessed you, or made you think.
If so, please share it with a friend, subscribe, and please leave a review.
Hey, I want to connect with you.
Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.
Send me a DM or email me at hello@beckyburroughs.com.
(08:38):
If you are a Christian woman who leads and you are interested in one of my Leadership Boot
camps for Women in Ministry, this is a four week workshop or becoming part of a Kairos
Cohort, your long group coaching.
Send me a DM or an email for more information.
We'll talk soon.
(upbeat music)
(08:59):
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music)
[ Music ]
In our last episode, we talked about the courage to ask for what you need,
(00:04):
how brave it is to voice what sustains you instead of waiting for others to notice.
Today, we take the next step.
Once you've learned to ask, "How do you communicate your value without apology, without fear,
and certainly without being defensive?"
Because the same courage that helps you ask for what you need will help you speak up for what you bring.
(00:29):
This episode is called "Communicating your value without apology."
Want to know more?
Let's dive in to today's episode.
Hey, friend, are you a people-pleasing conflict-avoiding leader?
Is your secret relationship with fear affecting your leadership decisions?
Do you want to learn how to build credibility and confidence
(00:53):
or to navigate difficult conversations?
Do you long to manage your time?
Without sacrificing your family or self-care, welcome to leadership becomes her.
I beg you, Burrows, your host, and a minister and life and leadership coach
with over 50 years experience in leadership.
I firmly believe God has given you everything you need to lead well.
(01:17):
You have the toolbox.
You just need to learn how to use the tools.
So get comfy or start a mindless task.
You know how to pause or rewind if you need to.
Let's get started.
Okay, let's be honest about the tension that women feel.
(01:38):
And this one is tricky.
We have been conditioned as women to believe that confidence is braggie.
It's conceited and that humility is making self-deprecating remarks or diminishing what we
do or even just being silent when we ought to speak up.
So we tend to downplay our gifts.
(01:58):
We say, "Oh, well, that's nothing anybody could have done that."
"Well, I just did a little."
I don't do much."
But we've got to realize that minimizing your contribution does not make you humble.
It just keeps you hidden.
Scripture never tells us to hide our gifts.
It says to use them faithfully.
(02:19):
Romans 1:26 says, "We have different gifts according to the grace given to each of us."
That's not pride, that's stewardship.
And when you communicate your value, you're not promoting yourself, you're partnering with
God.
Think about Jesus and Luke 4:18.
He stood and said, "The spirit of the Lord is upon me because He has anointed me."
(02:44):
He named His calling out loud, not for ego, but for the sake of the name of God.
And in the mission, sometimes your silence isn’t humility.
It's says a tation.
And the kind of needs women who are both humble and honest about what they can carry.
That requires a mixture of confidence with humility.
(03:07):
Confidence in the gift, well, first of all, confidence in God.
Confidence in the gifts that God has given you.
Confidence in the calling that God has placed upon your heart.
Yet the humility to know that you still have things to learn.
There are still areas in which you can grow, but using your voice, owning your spot, taking
(03:29):
your seat at the table where decisions are being made.
It is so important as women that we practice both confidence and humility.
There are times when we need to lead with confidence.
There are times when we need to lead with humility and knowing the difference.
But this episode is about how to speak without apology.
(03:51):
So I'm going to suggest three ways to communicate your value with grace.
Number one, be confident in clarity.
Instead of saying, "I don't know if this is going to help, but," or, "This may be a dumb
idea, but."
I don't know if anybody is going to agree with me, but those are phrases
(04:13):
that are not helpful.
Those are phrases that, as you're saying them, begin to shrink your contribution.
It would be much more helpful to speak confidently and say, "Hey, I've got an idea that could
strengthen our team," or, "I've got something I'd like all of us to discuss for a moment," or,
"Here's an idea that just came to me that really does merit us thinking about."
(04:40):
Something that sounds confident.
Number two, frame your contributions around service.
Something like, "I'd love to lead that because it aligns with my strengths.
It aligns with my passion for developing others."
Or, "I love developing others.
I look for opportunities to help others grow in their leadership."
(05:03):
You see how you are claiming a strength that you have, but also framing it as a contribution
that you want to make.
Number three, detach your worth from however they respond.
You see, you can speak truthfully about your value even if it's not immediately recognized,
(05:24):
because the key is, the point is to be obedient.
Be obedient to God's call.
Be obedient to the gift God has uniquely given you even if others around you don't immediately
validate them.
So communicating your value without apology requires an inner shift.
(05:44):
It requires.
It actually requires that it starts inside of you.
You've got to believe that your presence is a gift, not a problem.
That your leadership isn't extra.
It is essential to the mission.
And if you struggle with that, try this short prayer.
Lord, let me speak from wholeness, not from fear.
Teach me to name what you've placed in me and to offer it with humility and strength.
(06:09):
Because confidence in calling that is not arrogance.
It is alignment.
It is alignment with what you feel God is calling you to do.
It is alignment with the gifts that you have identified.
God has placed in you and you are simply being obedient to the call.
(06:31):
So I want you to think this week, where have you caught yourself apologizing for your own
value?
Maybe you've been downplaying your experience.
Maybe you've been avoiding opportunities.
Maybe you've been shrinking to fit the role that you've been assigned.
Maybe you've been softening your voice in meetings.
(06:53):
Challenge yourself.
In one conversation this week, remove the apology.
Don't shrink.
Don't over-explain.
Just stand in your truth.
Last week, we're going to close this many series with the topic of creating cultures that value
(07:13):
women.
Because being placed personally, being valued personally leads to valuing others intentionally.
Until then, lead boldly, speak freely, use your voice, own your spot, ask for what you need
and remember.
(07:34):
You're not asking for permission to be valuable.
You already are.
God placed that value on you.
He loved you into existence.
He decided what you were going to look like and what gifts you were going to have and what
value you were going to bring and what role you were going to fill.
(07:55):
It's up to you to figure out what gifts God has given you, what God is calling you to do
in this particular season of your life and then give it everything you have.
That is value.
That is stewardship.
That is obedience.
Hey, let's do this again next week.
(08:17):
It is my prayer that this podcast inspired you, blessed you, or made you think.
If so, please share it with a friend, subscribe, and please leave a review.
Hey, I want to connect with you.
Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.
Send me a DM or email me at hello@beckyburroughs.com.
(08:38):
If you are a Christian woman who leads and you are interested in one of my Leadership Boot
camps for Women in Ministry, this is a four week workshop or becoming part of a Kairos
Cohort, your long group coaching.
Send me a DM or an email for more information.
We'll talk soon.
(upbeat music)
(08:59):
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music)
[ Music ]
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