November 21, 2025 • 16 mins
What if everything you're doing to fix your child's behavior is actually making it worse? In this eye-opening episode, Bonnie and Thomas Liotta introduce the Karma Principle - the revolutionary idea that you reap what you sow in parenting.
Discover why timeouts, takeaways, and traditional punishment strategies plant "anger seeds" that grow into the exact behaviors you're desperately trying to stop: lying, sneaking, defiance, and aggression. Learn the shocking truth about why therapy and medication often fail to create lasting change, and why more seclusion rooms in schools signals we're addressing symptoms instead of root causes.
Through biblical wisdom, personal stories, and 40 years of experience working with thousands of families, Bonnie and Thomas reveal the missing ingredient in modern parenting: planting love seeds instead of anger seeds. They explain how shifting from control and punishment to guidance and empowerment transforms even the most defiant children with ODD, ADHD, and behavioral diagnoses.
If you're exhausted from feeling like a broken record, ready to stop the power struggles, and want to actually enjoy your kids again begin your new empowering journey here.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
What if everything you're doing to fix your child's behavior is
actually creating the exact problems you're trying to prevent?
Today,
we're gonna introduce the karma principle.
You reap what you sow in parenting,
and by the end of today's episode,
you'll understand why more punishment is going to create more of the
very behaviors you hate.
(00:21):
Get over here because I said so.
Why do I have to keep repeating myself?
Mom or Dad,
do you ever feel like a broken record?
Record,
record.
You're listening to Learn to Speak Kit podcast on iTunes with Bonnie and Thomas Liotta,
(00:46):
positively transforming families one out-of-control child at a time.
Welcome to the Learn to Speak Kit podcast.
We are Bonnie and...
Thomas Liotta.
Yes,
and we help parents and educators transform the most defiant and
disruptive child behavior without mind-altering medication,
(01:08):
years of therapy,
or harsh punishment.
And I want to start today's episode with this,
Tom.
We talk about you can't get love from a seed of anger,
and I want to refer to scripture here.
And no,
we're not religious teachers,
but this makes sense.
Matthew 7,
16 to 18,
Jesus asks if people pick grapes from thorn bushes or figs from thistles,
(01:33):
emphasizing that a good tree produces good fruit and a bad tree,
bad fruit.
And in Luke 6,
43 to 44,
it states that each tree is known by its fruit,
as figs are not gathered from thorn bushes.
These passages highlight the idea that results align with their source.
(01:54):
And Thomas,
you've worked with kids for the last 40 years.
Have we seen an increase in child behavior disorders,
mood disorders,
violent outbursts,
aggression,
to the point where actually in our city in 2021,
I can't remember who it was,
but the guy that runs the education system,
(02:15):
he says that he's going to have a goal to remove seclusion rooms And since 2021 to 2025,
they've added 25 seclusion rooms,
which tells me there's something going on at the seed when we're
trying to constantly pick the fruit.
The short answer is no.
(02:35):
It keeps going downhill,
downhill,
downhill.
It keeps getting bigger in the wrong direction,
which means we're doing the same thing again and again and again and
expecting a different outcome.
As far as Gump would call that,
stupid is as stupid does.
Yeah,
so we talk to parents every day and they get on the phone and it's like,
(02:57):
well,
you know,
when your child doesn't listen,
what's your go-to?
Well,
I've tried everything (03:01):
timeouts,
takeaways,
bribing,
lecturing.
I try to explain to them why they can't have what's important to them.
I,
you know,
remove their iPad or whatever.
It's all negative.
The child does something the parent doesn't like.
We call it bad behavior.
But is it really bad behavior?
(03:21):
And then we got to come in and do something the child doesn't like.
You see,
a hundred years ago,
they would just beat the kids out back with a switch or lock them in a closet.
So then they introduced positive discipline.
They're like,
well,
we won't beat them anymore.
We'll just take away their favorite things and not teach them any life skills,
and we'll call it positive discipline But it seems to me that's a
(03:42):
wolf in sheep's clothing.
Correct.
And I want to validate here.
I tried everything.
Well,
when you say punishment or takeaways,
that's going to be negative on its best day.
So yes,
you did try everything in the punishment part of the game.
But see,
what we bring to the table is a game called opposites.
(04:03):
If there's punishment,
our principle number five is called guiding behavior versus punishing behavior.
And so when you say I tried everything,
well,
you tried everything that you know.
But if there was a way to flip the battery in the remote and then
all of a sudden it started working where you guided them instead of takeaway,
you showed them how they could do it just like you called monkey see,
(04:27):
monkey do.
Well,
I'll tell you what.
Have you really tried everything?
On the negative side,
yes.
On the positive side,
learn to speak,
kid.
I'm going to say slim to none.
But what's amazing about that,
Tom,
is like I grew up a very,
I'm going to say disempowered child.
It wasn't my mom's fault that she was born in an era where they were
(04:47):
switching from corporal punishment to this whole I'm not supposed to spank you thing,
but I don't know how to get you to listen to me.
So all she did was yell.
And so I...
got inside my soul like,
wow,
gosh,
like everything I do is wrong.
I must be stupid.
I grew up with this vibration of unworthiness.
(05:08):
And when I was 21 years old,
I was introduced to a book called Think and Grow Rich because,
you know,
I got kicked out of high school so many times I had to go sell Kirby vacuum cleaners.
But that was the greatest blessing in my life because I learned in
that book that all of the great leaders who create the world we live in today,
you know,
you walk into a room,
you just take it for granted.
(05:29):
It's warm; there's a light switch; there's a car; there's a computer.
Somebody created all of these things that we just use in our
everyday life And what I learned is that none of them had a formal education.
In fact,
Steve Jobs,
while he quit college,
he went to classes he enjoyed,
but he's a college dropout and he created the Macintosh we're using
(05:51):
to record this episode today.
So when I learned that you could set a goal,
create a plan,
persevere through obstacles,
and you can be,
do,
and have anything your little heart desires,
I was 21 years old.
I went running over to my dad's house and I'm like,
gosh,
dad,
if I knew what was in this book when I was a kid,
(06:12):
I never would have done all these stupid things.
And I don't know how,
but I'm going to find a way to empower all kids by the age of 12.
And so 21,
30,
40,
that was 30 some odd years ago now.
Because when you look at what the fruit is actually being produced,
it has to have a cause or come from a certain seed.
(06:32):
So when we hear things like,
you know,
my kid's sneaky,
he does things behind my back.
Or every time I ask him who broke the lamp,
wasn't me lying,
or better yet,
they're afraid to come to you with anything.
They're fearful.
So what is the actual seed that is being planted to bear this fruit?
(06:55):
It's called behaviors,
neutral,
and they approach it with punishment.
I see,
smell,
taste,
touch.
Here's something I don't like,
negative.
And I'm going to take away until you can't,
don't want something that's in your heart that you want to do negative.
So therefore,
everything's working perfectly,
but if you'd never been taught the other side,
(07:16):
that's going to be the winning grace for you,
mom,
for you,
dad,
that if you were to change your approach and take this behavior
instead of punishment,
and you learn to guide it with learn to speak,
kid,
new seed,
better fruit.
Yeah,
well exactly.
And before we move on to,
you know,
(07:36):
more of a solution,
just want to bring a magnifying glass to this because when we come in with a timeout,
like,
Oh,
that's bad.
You know,
you got to go into a timeout or we don't hit,
I won't let you hit and I'm taking away your favorite thing.
Like what is the emotion behind that action?
Is it happiness,
(07:56):
love,
joy,
harmony,
peace?
It's not,
it's a seed of hate.
If you want to speak the truth,
it's a seed of,
oh,
you're driving me crazy.
I'm going to fucking kill you.
These are the thoughts that go on.
If it's not the words that go on and trust me,
it is words that are being used with parents.
(08:18):
I know it.
I've been there.
I'm not judging.
I'm just trying to make a point that when we come in with the idea of punishment,
the whole vibration feeling behind it is negative.
And what do parents really want?
What do they really want?
Oh,
I would love my kids to cooperate.
Oh,
I would love it if they would just follow directions.
(08:39):
I want them to be kind.
I want them to be loving.
I want to enjoy my time with my kids.
Well,
what we're talking about today is that's a totally new seed.
It's on the other side.
It's a love seed,
a joy seed,
an acceptance seed,
and unconditional.
You're the greatest thing since sliced bread seed.
Kind of like how I look at my granddaughter so true.
(09:01):
So,
before we wrapped up on this last point,
before we shift gears here,
let me ask you a quick question.
Bonnie is jail slash timeouts,
is that a right or a privilege?
Well,
if you ask any homeless person who is starving on the street,
they will tell you that jail is a privilege.
That's right.
So let's go with that.
Okay,
(09:21):
if I wanted to earn jail,
that's my goal.
I want to get in there.
Can I just bang and demand?
And they're going to go,
sorry,
dude,
visiting hours are not for you.
There's no way you can just will your way in.
But I'll tell you this (09:34):
if you lie,
cheat and steal,
maybe not right at first,
but if you just keep on keeping on,
persevere,
persevere,
persevere,
you will earn the privilege to be in jail Now this is
counterintuitive to the way parents are looking at this,
but when you do see it,
there's a simple cause to the effect.
Yeah,
(09:55):
great point.
And let's shift gears.
Yeah,
so we're talking about like,
what's missing?
Well,
I know for me,
when I met you,
Tom,
I thought I was the greatest mom in the world.
I played the referee.
I was the savior.
I was the maid,
cook,
cleaner,
driver.
I made all the plans,
packed all the bags,
(10:15):
cleaned the house.
Like everything was on me.
And you watched me run from floor to floor serving my kids.
I was a servant to my kids.
I wasn't a leader to my kids.
And trust me,
the seed of what I was planting was in full force.
The most severe case of oppositional defiant disorder,
(10:35):
ADHD,
anxiety,
depression,
chaos,
anger.
My 12-year-old son,
I walked by him one time and just touched him lightly on the back.
And he moved out of the way like,
oh,
don't touch me.
Was the vibration going on in my house?
And I had no idea what was happening.
So let's talk about the myth of let children be children.
Hmm.
You see,
(10:55):
the myth about let children be children is very not quite understood comma yet.
You see,
what's missing is instead of having a dictating,
bribing,
overcompensating parent,
what if you could shift gears and go?
I have a trusted advisor to show me how the world works.
Believe I can learn and play monkey see monkey do,
(11:18):
so I can follow the leadership and so forth.
So we are looking for a life preparer,
not a I do for you all,
and believe that they can actually learn.
There's nothing wrong with them.
God created us in his image,
which means you are not broken.
(11:39):
You believe that they can learn,
and it's that belief which is takes us all the way from Canville into Canville.
Absolutely.
And the thing is,
is like let children be children.
What do children actually want?
Like that's a whole adult idea of the world,
but children want to be like you and do what you do.
(12:00):
They want to learn how the world works And believe it or not,
children are learning every second,
every moment,
every day,
all day long,
whether you like it or not.
And they wish to be seen by you.
That's right.
So we've been taught to control them.
But what does that even mean,
Tom?
Well,
you to control would be like putting them in the jail,
(12:20):
controlling them to stay here.
And every jail,
as we know,
everybody's broken out.
So control is an illusion.
Yeah,
I wouldn't even sign up for that game.
So you're going to punish or guide.
You're going to help them or hurt them.
You're going to prepare them so they can do what they need to do.
Are you going to postpone what's the inevitable?
So if our number one prime directive in the learn to speak kid
(12:42):
methodology is to know your role as a parent,
is to prepare them with all the missing life skills so they can
launch out of the nest like every animal in our animal kingdom does,
except for man,
because man can be taught not to do this or see it because we were given free will.
Awesome.
(13:02):
OK,
so the whole idea of my child did something wrong,
I need to come in and punish them,
that comes from a seed of anger.
That's right.
And so what is the fruit we're going to see when we're planting seeds of anger?
Well,
you want compliance.
Don't do as I do,
but do as I say.
And so what ends up happening is they start to sneak.
(13:22):
They start to do things when you aren't around.
You call them on it.
They begin to lie.
And all of a sudden you go to this professional that says,
my kid won't listen,
he's lying.
And what they do is they have what is called therapy,
right?
Like something's wrong with the kid.
I got to fix the fruit.
Now,
this would be like complaining that you plant apples and go,
(13:44):
I keep getting oranges.
Fix the orange.
Fix the orange.
Fix the orange,
right?
Now,
I'm not going to diss on that,
but if you really look at it,
it's really,
I've never found yet to this day.
Clients come to us after five,
10,
20 years of therapy.
And what they do is nothing works.
If it did work,
(14:05):
why would you have to be there forever?
And what ends up happening is over the course of time,
the child starts to feel broken,
unworthy.
There must be something wrong with me.
And I will never,
ever accept that to be truth,
period.
Yeah.
And parents,
like if you're seeing violent outbursts,
(14:25):
oh,
he just wants to poke everybody and he's going out of his way to piss everybody off.
I'm sorry,
that's a lie.
It's a lie.
It's a fruit of an anger seed.
OK,
and when we get this and we take responsibility,
then we can plant new seeds.
We're going to call them love seeds.
That's right.
(14:46):
Parenting from love and not fear.
And what have you seen,
Tom,
with thousands of kids when you plant the love seed?
Every single time,
no exception.
They become empowered.
Look what I can do all by myself,
which is the best feeling from the inside out that man cannot
duplicate from a drug outside in.
(15:06):
There's a sacred trust between a genius offering and a big kid trusted advisor.
That trust is they can always come to you when they need something.
They feel capable of being able to do anything and everything.
And what ends up happening is they begin to thrive rather than dive So,
on the next episode,
we're going to give you some real-life examples from toddlers to
(15:28):
teenagers to even young adults living in your basement and how we
can start planting these love seeds versus anger seeds.
Are you planting love seeds or anger seeds?
Share with us in the comments.
And the lip gloss story to the bush party is going to change your life.
Thank you so much for listening to today's episode.
(15:51):
Until we meet again,
here's to our parenting success.
Cheers,
everyone.
Bye for now.
Have you tried everything to get your kids to listen,
but nothing works?
Are you ready for more cooperation and fun as a mom?
I'm Bonnie Liotta,
co-founder of Creating Champions for Life.
And I'm here to let you know there is hope.
(16:13):
We'll show you how to inspire your children to become cooperative
and happy from the inside out,
even if they've been diagnosed with a behavior disorder like ADHD or ODD.
Join the many parents already living in parenting paradise at learn
to speak kid dot com and be the joy-filled,
happy parent you deserve to be.
What if everything you're doing to fix your child's behavior is
actually creating the exact problems you're trying to prevent?
Today,
we're gonna introduce the karma principle.
You reap what you sow in parenting,
and by the end of today's episode,
you'll understand why more punishment is going to create more of the
very behaviors you hate.
(00:21):
Get over here because I said so.
Why do I have to keep repeating myself?
Mom or Dad,
do you ever feel like a broken record?
Record,
record.
You're listening to Learn to Speak Kit podcast on iTunes with Bonnie and Thomas Liotta,
(00:46):
positively transforming families one out-of-control child at a time.
Welcome to the Learn to Speak Kit podcast.
We are Bonnie and...
Thomas Liotta.
Yes,
and we help parents and educators transform the most defiant and
disruptive child behavior without mind-altering medication,
(01:08):
years of therapy,
or harsh punishment.
And I want to start today's episode with this,
Tom.
We talk about you can't get love from a seed of anger,
and I want to refer to scripture here.
And no,
we're not religious teachers,
but this makes sense.
Matthew 7,
16 to 18,
Jesus asks if people pick grapes from thorn bushes or figs from thistles,
(01:33):
emphasizing that a good tree produces good fruit and a bad tree,
bad fruit.
And in Luke 6,
43 to 44,
it states that each tree is known by its fruit,
as figs are not gathered from thorn bushes.
These passages highlight the idea that results align with their source.
(01:54):
And Thomas,
you've worked with kids for the last 40 years.
Have we seen an increase in child behavior disorders,
mood disorders,
violent outbursts,
aggression,
to the point where actually in our city in 2021,
I can't remember who it was,
but the guy that runs the education system,
(02:15):
he says that he's going to have a goal to remove seclusion rooms And since 2021 to 2025,
they've added 25 seclusion rooms,
which tells me there's something going on at the seed when we're
trying to constantly pick the fruit.
The short answer is no.
(02:35):
It keeps going downhill,
downhill,
downhill.
It keeps getting bigger in the wrong direction,
which means we're doing the same thing again and again and again and
expecting a different outcome.
As far as Gump would call that,
stupid is as stupid does.
Yeah,
so we talk to parents every day and they get on the phone and it's like,
(02:57):
well,
you know,
when your child doesn't listen,
what's your go-to?
Well,
I've tried everything (03:01):
timeouts,
takeaways,
bribing,
lecturing.
I try to explain to them why they can't have what's important to them.
I,
you know,
remove their iPad or whatever.
It's all negative.
The child does something the parent doesn't like.
We call it bad behavior.
But is it really bad behavior?
(03:21):
And then we got to come in and do something the child doesn't like.
You see,
a hundred years ago,
they would just beat the kids out back with a switch or lock them in a closet.
So then they introduced positive discipline.
They're like,
well,
we won't beat them anymore.
We'll just take away their favorite things and not teach them any life skills,
and we'll call it positive discipline But it seems to me that's a
(03:42):
wolf in sheep's clothing.
Correct.
And I want to validate here.
I tried everything.
Well,
when you say punishment or takeaways,
that's going to be negative on its best day.
So yes,
you did try everything in the punishment part of the game.
But see,
what we bring to the table is a game called opposites.
(04:03):
If there's punishment,
our principle number five is called guiding behavior versus punishing behavior.
And so when you say I tried everything,
well,
you tried everything that you know.
But if there was a way to flip the battery in the remote and then
all of a sudden it started working where you guided them instead of takeaway,
you showed them how they could do it just like you called monkey see,
(04:27):
monkey do.
Well,
I'll tell you what.
Have you really tried everything?
On the negative side,
yes.
On the positive side,
learn to speak,
kid.
I'm going to say slim to none.
But what's amazing about that,
Tom,
is like I grew up a very,
I'm going to say disempowered child.
It wasn't my mom's fault that she was born in an era where they were
(04:47):
switching from corporal punishment to this whole I'm not supposed to spank you thing,
but I don't know how to get you to listen to me.
So all she did was yell.
And so I...
got inside my soul like,
wow,
gosh,
like everything I do is wrong.
I must be stupid.
I grew up with this vibration of unworthiness.
(05:08):
And when I was 21 years old,
I was introduced to a book called Think and Grow Rich because,
you know,
I got kicked out of high school so many times I had to go sell Kirby vacuum cleaners.
But that was the greatest blessing in my life because I learned in
that book that all of the great leaders who create the world we live in today,
you know,
you walk into a room,
you just take it for granted.
(05:29):
It's warm; there's a light switch; there's a car; there's a computer.
Somebody created all of these things that we just use in our
everyday life And what I learned is that none of them had a formal education.
In fact,
Steve Jobs,
while he quit college,
he went to classes he enjoyed,
but he's a college dropout and he created the Macintosh we're using
(05:51):
to record this episode today.
So when I learned that you could set a goal,
create a plan,
persevere through obstacles,
and you can be,
do,
and have anything your little heart desires,
I was 21 years old.
I went running over to my dad's house and I'm like,
gosh,
dad,
if I knew what was in this book when I was a kid,
(06:12):
I never would have done all these stupid things.
And I don't know how,
but I'm going to find a way to empower all kids by the age of 12.
And so 21,
30,
40,
that was 30 some odd years ago now.
Because when you look at what the fruit is actually being produced,
it has to have a cause or come from a certain seed.
(06:32):
So when we hear things like,
you know,
my kid's sneaky,
he does things behind my back.
Or every time I ask him who broke the lamp,
wasn't me lying,
or better yet,
they're afraid to come to you with anything.
They're fearful.
So what is the actual seed that is being planted to bear this fruit?
(06:55):
It's called behaviors,
neutral,
and they approach it with punishment.
I see,
smell,
taste,
touch.
Here's something I don't like,
negative.
And I'm going to take away until you can't,
don't want something that's in your heart that you want to do negative.
So therefore,
everything's working perfectly,
but if you'd never been taught the other side,
(07:16):
that's going to be the winning grace for you,
mom,
for you,
dad,
that if you were to change your approach and take this behavior
instead of punishment,
and you learn to guide it with learn to speak,
kid,
new seed,
better fruit.
Yeah,
well exactly.
And before we move on to,
you know,
(07:36):
more of a solution,
just want to bring a magnifying glass to this because when we come in with a timeout,
like,
Oh,
that's bad.
You know,
you got to go into a timeout or we don't hit,
I won't let you hit and I'm taking away your favorite thing.
Like what is the emotion behind that action?
Is it happiness,
(07:56):
love,
joy,
harmony,
peace?
It's not,
it's a seed of hate.
If you want to speak the truth,
it's a seed of,
oh,
you're driving me crazy.
I'm going to fucking kill you.
These are the thoughts that go on.
If it's not the words that go on and trust me,
it is words that are being used with parents.
(08:18):
I know it.
I've been there.
I'm not judging.
I'm just trying to make a point that when we come in with the idea of punishment,
the whole vibration feeling behind it is negative.
And what do parents really want?
What do they really want?
Oh,
I would love my kids to cooperate.
Oh,
I would love it if they would just follow directions.
(08:39):
I want them to be kind.
I want them to be loving.
I want to enjoy my time with my kids.
Well,
what we're talking about today is that's a totally new seed.
It's on the other side.
It's a love seed,
a joy seed,
an acceptance seed,
and unconditional.
You're the greatest thing since sliced bread seed.
Kind of like how I look at my granddaughter so true.
(09:01):
So,
before we wrapped up on this last point,
before we shift gears here,
let me ask you a quick question.
Bonnie is jail slash timeouts,
is that a right or a privilege?
Well,
if you ask any homeless person who is starving on the street,
they will tell you that jail is a privilege.
That's right.
So let's go with that.
Okay,
(09:21):
if I wanted to earn jail,
that's my goal.
I want to get in there.
Can I just bang and demand?
And they're going to go,
sorry,
dude,
visiting hours are not for you.
There's no way you can just will your way in.
But I'll tell you this (09:34):
if you lie,
cheat and steal,
maybe not right at first,
but if you just keep on keeping on,
persevere,
persevere,
persevere,
you will earn the privilege to be in jail Now this is
counterintuitive to the way parents are looking at this,
but when you do see it,
there's a simple cause to the effect.
Yeah,
(09:55):
great point.
And let's shift gears.
Yeah,
so we're talking about like,
what's missing?
Well,
I know for me,
when I met you,
Tom,
I thought I was the greatest mom in the world.
I played the referee.
I was the savior.
I was the maid,
cook,
cleaner,
driver.
I made all the plans,
packed all the bags,
(10:15):
cleaned the house.
Like everything was on me.
And you watched me run from floor to floor serving my kids.
I was a servant to my kids.
I wasn't a leader to my kids.
And trust me,
the seed of what I was planting was in full force.
The most severe case of oppositional defiant disorder,
(10:35):
ADHD,
anxiety,
depression,
chaos,
anger.
My 12-year-old son,
I walked by him one time and just touched him lightly on the back.
And he moved out of the way like,
oh,
don't touch me.
Was the vibration going on in my house?
And I had no idea what was happening.
So let's talk about the myth of let children be children.
Hmm.
You see,
(10:55):
the myth about let children be children is very not quite understood comma yet.
You see,
what's missing is instead of having a dictating,
bribing,
overcompensating parent,
what if you could shift gears and go?
I have a trusted advisor to show me how the world works.
Believe I can learn and play monkey see monkey do,
(11:18):
so I can follow the leadership and so forth.
So we are looking for a life preparer,
not a I do for you all,
and believe that they can actually learn.
There's nothing wrong with them.
God created us in his image,
which means you are not broken.
(11:39):
You believe that they can learn,
and it's that belief which is takes us all the way from Canville into Canville.
Absolutely.
And the thing is,
is like let children be children.
What do children actually want?
Like that's a whole adult idea of the world,
but children want to be like you and do what you do.
(12:00):
They want to learn how the world works And believe it or not,
children are learning every second,
every moment,
every day,
all day long,
whether you like it or not.
And they wish to be seen by you.
That's right.
So we've been taught to control them.
But what does that even mean,
Tom?
Well,
you to control would be like putting them in the jail,
(12:20):
controlling them to stay here.
And every jail,
as we know,
everybody's broken out.
So control is an illusion.
Yeah,
I wouldn't even sign up for that game.
So you're going to punish or guide.
You're going to help them or hurt them.
You're going to prepare them so they can do what they need to do.
Are you going to postpone what's the inevitable?
So if our number one prime directive in the learn to speak kid
(12:42):
methodology is to know your role as a parent,
is to prepare them with all the missing life skills so they can
launch out of the nest like every animal in our animal kingdom does,
except for man,
because man can be taught not to do this or see it because we were given free will.
Awesome.
(13:02):
OK,
so the whole idea of my child did something wrong,
I need to come in and punish them,
that comes from a seed of anger.
That's right.
And so what is the fruit we're going to see when we're planting seeds of anger?
Well,
you want compliance.
Don't do as I do,
but do as I say.
And so what ends up happening is they start to sneak.
(13:22):
They start to do things when you aren't around.
You call them on it.
They begin to lie.
And all of a sudden you go to this professional that says,
my kid won't listen,
he's lying.
And what they do is they have what is called therapy,
right?
Like something's wrong with the kid.
I got to fix the fruit.
Now,
this would be like complaining that you plant apples and go,
(13:44):
I keep getting oranges.
Fix the orange.
Fix the orange.
Fix the orange,
right?
Now,
I'm not going to diss on that,
but if you really look at it,
it's really,
I've never found yet to this day.
Clients come to us after five,
10,
20 years of therapy.
And what they do is nothing works.
If it did work,
(14:05):
why would you have to be there forever?
And what ends up happening is over the course of time,
the child starts to feel broken,
unworthy.
There must be something wrong with me.
And I will never,
ever accept that to be truth,
period.
Yeah.
And parents,
like if you're seeing violent outbursts,
(14:25):
oh,
he just wants to poke everybody and he's going out of his way to piss everybody off.
I'm sorry,
that's a lie.
It's a lie.
It's a fruit of an anger seed.
OK,
and when we get this and we take responsibility,
then we can plant new seeds.
We're going to call them love seeds.
That's right.
(14:46):
Parenting from love and not fear.
And what have you seen,
Tom,
with thousands of kids when you plant the love seed?
Every single time,
no exception.
They become empowered.
Look what I can do all by myself,
which is the best feeling from the inside out that man cannot
duplicate from a drug outside in.
(15:06):
There's a sacred trust between a genius offering and a big kid trusted advisor.
That trust is they can always come to you when they need something.
They feel capable of being able to do anything and everything.
And what ends up happening is they begin to thrive rather than dive So,
on the next episode,
we're going to give you some real-life examples from toddlers to
(15:28):
teenagers to even young adults living in your basement and how we
can start planting these love seeds versus anger seeds.
Are you planting love seeds or anger seeds?
Share with us in the comments.
And the lip gloss story to the bush party is going to change your life.
Thank you so much for listening to today's episode.
(15:51):
Until we meet again,
here's to our parenting success.
Cheers,
everyone.
Bye for now.
Have you tried everything to get your kids to listen,
but nothing works?
Are you ready for more cooperation and fun as a mom?
I'm Bonnie Liotta,
co-founder of Creating Champions for Life.
And I'm here to let you know there is hope.
(16:13):
We'll show you how to inspire your children to become cooperative
and happy from the inside out,
even if they've been diagnosed with a behavior disorder like ADHD or ODD.
Join the many parents already living in parenting paradise at learn
to speak kid dot com and be the joy-filled,
happy parent you deserve to be.
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