Episode Transcript
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Music.
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Hi and welcome to episode three we're
gonna hop right into our first series which is
just joanna where i give personal stories um today
we'll be talking about a horror case that i've had
uh so many hard cases i
know a lot of times we talk about that
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not being able to see their children but i want you to know it's not just dads
sometimes it's the mom who's not able to and there's a in particular story that
comes to mind there was this couple a pretty cool couple they lived not in georgia
they lived in a different state which obviously had different laws,
and um at some point that couple had broken up but they were co-parenting pretty
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nicely they had an eight-year-old child the child had special needs any parent
that's dealt with a child with special needs you would know you have to go um
above and beyond at least a little bit um so So they're dealing with that.
The mom decided, hey, I need to make more money.
The mom had the type of job where she was able to travel to make more money.
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She says, okay, here's what I want to do.
I'm going to travel to go ahead and get more money.
You keep him while I'm traveling. When I come back, we'll resume the schedule that we've always done.
And dad's like, yeah, cool. cool little did mom know that was the last time
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she saw her son for at least three and a half years um when she got back from
traveling you know she had been calling texting showing up.
Dad moved changed his numbers moved to
school did all these things he went and got remarried and
i'm all for you know moving on and having that extended family the blended family
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all of that's great but you don't get to cut out the actual parent and it was
just so sad i remember when she came to me that she hadn't seen her baby in at least two years then,
maybe two and a half years um and
we started that case off i found him i
(02:30):
found him really quickly actually we started that case off by getting him served
and just you know letting the court know there needs to be a modification so
what he had done we had to backtrack go back to the other states see what took
place what he did was while she was out of town working,
he went and got an ex parte order now ex parte means one party and not the other
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generally you will go get an ex parte order if there is an emergency he goes
to the court without her and And it's like,
oh, we have no idea where the mom is.
She's never coming back. This and that, the other.
Got a court order saying that now he has custody. He then moves to Georgia.
On the premise of that order so the other state you know couldn't get involved
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after a certain amount of time because there started some jurisdictional issues
fast forward to when i got into the case we find out where this guy is what
he has going on he has a wife,
by now they have this little baby this child calling the new wife mom.
It's weird because he's not like a two-year-old like he knows who his mom is
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you know and they They were, like, disciplining him when he didn't call the stepmom mom.
The stepmom is the first at the top of the list for the school.
The actual mom who I represent, she couldn't go to the school to get records.
She couldn't see him at the school. The school wouldn't allow.
She couldn't go to the doctor.
Everything that was listed was the stepmom.
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As if she were the actual parent. and it was just
the worst case trying
to overcome what they
all these barriers that they had put up long story
short mom got the baby back it took
us a while we got it we got it situated she
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did get the baby back dad is not excluded from the life
obviously but he's not in a
position to keep the child primarily after
pulling a stunt like that it's called alienation this
is called when you are intentionally keeping
a child away from the other parent and I wish you guys could see when she finally
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got back with her boy he was just so happy to see his mom again and I just can't
imagine what he went through waiting you know because like what do you say to
him I know he's like well where's my mom Why can't I call her? Why can't I see her?
And the entire time it's because the dad won't allow. Now flip the script,
we see this a lot on the other end and people tend to kind of sweep it under the rug.
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But imagine that, imagine being the mom.
Hey everyone, I know you're enjoying the episode, but I want to take a moment.
Music.
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All you have to do is simply click the link Link in the show notes or the description
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This giveaway is sponsored by J.G. Boyd Law, Georgia's family lawyer.
If you're in the state of Georgia and need help with divorce,
custody, or co-parenting, I
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(06:22):
Visit www.jgboydlaw.com to book your consultation today. Now,
let's get back to the episode.
All right, let's get into segment two, WWJD, what would Joanna do? do.
People send in letters, I read them, I tell you what I would do,
give you my best non-legal advice.
So today we're talking about this one. The title is, We Got Married and Found Out He Had a Child.
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Dear Attorney Boyd, my husband and I have been married for almost two years.
One month after our wedding, we found out that he is the father of a child from
a previous relationship.
From what I gathered they dated and my husband ended things with her because
she slept around with another man.
She told him that she was not keeping the child but it turns out she did.
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Two years later I'm still having a difficult time with this situation because
he didn't tell me any of this history before he decided to propose and because
after his paternity was confirmed we're now having to pay $450 child support
a month not to mention adding an extra $200 a month to our insurance bill.
I'm worried and stressed about how we will afford our own children when we're ready to have them.
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I don't know how honest I should be on this.
He hasn't wanted anything to do with the child and has been out of his life this entire time.
The mother has not contacted us for visitations. How do I move past this?
I'm so disappointed, but I love my husband dearly.
It's the right thing to do to bring the child into our lives.
My husband says it's up to me what should I do your husband
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ain't shit for saying it's up to you because that is his seed and
I don't like that he hasn't built a relationship with this child you
found out that it was your child he hasn't wanted
anything to do with the child why do you want anything to
do with somebody who doesn't want anything to do with their children it sounds
like this baby came about prior to you it doesn't sound like any disrespect
took place um this is just one of those things where this is what you signed
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on for you know that's your husband you're considering like what you don't think
you can afford your own children because you have $450 worth of child support.
I think your focus needs to be a new career. If you think $450 is going to stop
you from being able to afford another child. So focus on that, okay?
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Instead of trying to deprive this little baby of a relationship with their dad.
And I get it. You want it, y'all. You made this conscious decision.
This is my husband. He don't have no kids. We're going to build a family.
Guess what? Sometimes things don't work out like we planned.
You got to roll with the punches. You love this man. care
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about him you should be encouraging him to do the
right thing he's supposed to be a part of his child's
life it's a child that he and granted the
way this child came about does not sound like the best way um with regard to
the mother saying she wasn't gonna keep it and then kept it and then kept it
a secret and then you just now finding out you know um i get all of that but this is your husband.
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And I don't know what your vows were, but I think it probably said somewhere
in there that it doesn't matter what we go through, you're still my husband.
And this is one of those things.
Sometimes God tests you to see what you can do.
You want to see if you've learned.
And I think the right thing to do here would be to welcome this child into your own,
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with open arms as a loving family that is your husband it doesn't sound like
they have any dealings with each other and if you are willing to have children
of your own i also think you should be willing to,
consider uh treating this child as your own just what i would do.
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And let him see that child stop stop okay let's get
into segment three joanna rants
i'm going to watch a viral video with you guys and give you my thoughts on it
somewhat of a rant this one in particular has about 700 000 views so pretty
popular um we're gonna see what's going on here and i haven't seen it before
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so nothing planned here excuse me if i cuss a little.
Like, me and her talking is not
going to help me be a better father or whatever. I don't owe her nothing.
What good do you feel can come out of that? I got to go on this.
Okay. So it's very important.
It's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. I understand she probably
(11:11):
wants to meet me and all that stuff, but I think Gloria should use her head.
I'm not giving anybody my time.
A bitch who slept with a man who was engaged, regardless of whether we were
together or not. The world didn't know we weren't together.
I can't stomach that. And as a man, I got in a chair, you straight up,
like, I hear what you're saying, and I know you don't want, you know,
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like, opening a scam or own a room.
I think it's illiterate. It sounds crazy. I don't want to meet this person.
I told you that I would help you raise the child, But I told you that I don't
have to be involved with the money.
You don't have to. Okay, and that's it.
That's it. She's not coming into my house. So I don't have to know. So I'm just saying.
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She's not coming into my house. You deal with that. Do your old ass, sad, sorry ass bones.
You deal with that. I don't have to. You lucky I'm pouring this much.
That's the blessing. The blessing is to be able to now understand it.
Forgiveness in your heart. Me, him, and I. I can forgive you,
otherwise I would be on with my life happy as hell.
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I ain't in company. But I'm just letting you know. And your lady said,
like. And I'm relaying back to you what you can go back and tell that bitch, okay?
I'm just saying, you deal with that.
She don't need me to. She sounds hurt.
She sounds hurt. Here's the bottom
line, guys. If you intend to be a major contributor to any child's life,
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you need to be able to be in contact with the parent it's all or nothing you
don't get to say you're gonna spend time with my child and i can't speak to
you because you won't be spending no damn time with my child i don't give a
damn how the child came about.
That's not the point the child has a mother
if you plan to play an intricate role in the
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child's life which she clearly said she does then you.
Need to be able to communicate here's the thing and i
oh man i get it this one hits home at
least a little bit um and i
get it you don't you don't have any respect for this woman
however this child came about you don't want to
have any dealings with her but when you made the conscious decision
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that you was going to continue to deal with him and that
you was going to continue to play that role in this child's life
you made the conscious decision to take in all of that you don't
get the piecemeal okay you're dealing
with the child you're going to deal with the child's parents imagine having a kid and
somebody want to be a part of your kid life and you can't talk to
them you're crazy as hell my kid wouldn't be over there okay you
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wouldn't be it wouldn't be nothing what are we talking about if you
can't talk to me you can't talking to my child you want to be a
part of my child's life then we need to be able to
be mature enough because it's not about you you feel
a way about how this came about you feel a way about how this woman is
but the fact that
you are playing a role in the child's life
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means that you need to be able to
communicate with both of the parents you act like you're doing him a favor you
didn't have to i mean i get it walk away you don't get the piecemeal it though
just tell them fuck you i can't deal with it okay but if you're gonna deal with
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it then do it the right way.
And that's my thing we have to put ourselves aside sometimes when it comes to
children they are innocent in all of this they don't know who cheated on who
or fucked who or did what while by who was married, engaged,
girlfriend, boyfriend.
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Them kids don't have nothing to do with that shit. All they know is this is
my mom and I love her. This is my dad and I love him.
This is my dad's woman and she plays a cool role and I like her a lot or I love her.
And that's what you need to be thinking about when you're figuring out how to.
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How to roll this thing out here's the thing you already won you got the you
wanted the you got the you in the child's life i mean she already feels i'm
sure and we haven't heard from her i'm sure she feels away you know um you already
won what you what we talking about,
sometimes it's okay to take the high road what's wrong with that why everybody gotta put their
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feelings before everything that's not even a logical way of handling a situation
like this oh fuck the mom i'ma just chill with the kid that's dumb that don't even sound right,
no because you're not and i'm a mom you ain't you ain't gonna be chilling with
my goddamn child you can't hold a conversation with me i don't give a fuck what
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i did to you leave me and my child alone is what you gonna do that don't make
sense does she have kids at home,
do we know i actually don't know who is
that it's loving hip-hop no it was jock kendra
whatever her name is no she don't have no kids that makes a lot of damn sense
as to why she's looking at things like this she don't even have no children
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of her own so i don't expect her to understand but baby you're not about to
be kicking it with my damn kids and you can't hold a conversation with me.
It's scary. You hate me like that? Why the fuck my child need to be around you?
Is she an attorney? She is. I was about to say, she is an attorney.
She's an emotional wreck is what she is.
Kendra, meet me in the courtroom. Kendra don't want no smoke with me.
(16:46):
Thank you for tuning in to Let MC That Child podcast. Drop a comment below on
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And if you don't remember anything else, I'll leave you with this. Let him see that child.