Welcome to the first episode of the "Let Them See That Child" family court series! Join host Joanna and her dear friend Jessica Washington as they dive into the complexities of family law, sharing their personal stories and honest opinions.
Jessica, an Atlanta native and mother of two, opens up about her journey through faith, motherhood, and career. From her love for Jesus to overcoming life's darkest moments, Jessica's story is one of resilience and self-discovery.
Listen as they discuss co-parenting challenges, the importance of being authentic, and the trials of balancing personal and professional life. This episode also features a heated debate on a controversial child support case, shedding light on the different perspectives involved.
Get ready for an engaging conversation filled with wisdom, laughter, and raw emotions. Whether you're navigating family law issues or simply looking for inspiration, this episode has something for everyone.
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So I'm Jessica Washington, 36 years old, an Atlanta native.
I have two sons, 15 years old and 6 years old. Do not ask me what happened.
Joanna is my really dear friend, one of my best friends that I met in law school eons ago at this point.
(01:03):
And I have a lot of shit to say today.
Nice. We're looking forward to it. So why don't you tell us your story and who you are.
Okay, so first, I'm a follower of Christ. I love the Lord. I love Jesus.
Without him, I am nothing.
And I love the Lord, y'all. I really, really, really love Jesus.
Sometimes I look back at Facebook posts from like 15 years ago,
(01:25):
and I was talking about God. I was like, girl, you were a kid talking about Jesus.
But that's the first thing I am. The second thing I am is a mother to two beautiful
boys who are blessings, who at one point I looked at and said,
what did I do? because, oh, everything seemed so dark during those seasons.
And now I look at them and say, who am I without them? They do define me.
(01:49):
Being a mother for me is a verb. It's what you do. It's not just a noun or pronoun.
So it's a part of me. And then third, I am a woman who is worthy.
And I think that I'm learning that more and more. I thought I knew,
but I did not know my own strength. I'm a worthy woman.
And fourth, I am a boss at the world's busiest airport, Hartsfield-Jackson International. national.
(02:14):
But that's a title and that does not define me. So when it comes to jobs and
career, it's important, right? Because that's how we eat and that's how we have shelter.
And that's how we can buy these nice things and drive the cars we like and go
on vacations, which helps make us who we are because without those moments, it's hard to be happy.
But more than anything, I am me.
(02:35):
And I'm still trying to find out who I am. I think that's just a working process.
But today I know more about myself than I knew last week.
And I'll tell y'all why later. I don't want to cry, but I cry real quick,
so I'll tell you that part later.
It's okay to cry. Y'all got that? Yeah. Okay.
It's okay to cry. Okay. So you're familiar with my audience.
We deal with a lot of dads.
(02:56):
We have a big interest in father's rights, and we have plenty of moms and just
anybody interested in family law abroad.
What do you think my audience would be interested in when it comes to you?
Well, all my life I've been told that I'm real and that's subjective, right?
But I do know that I am honest and sometimes it's to my demise.
(03:18):
So I'm learning how to pull back with that. But I'm just the type of person,
I'm going to be honest, even about myself, about my struggles,
the good, the bad, the ugly, the indifference.
I'm just an honest person. So if you don't want the truth, I'm probably not
the one that should give you any advice. But more than anything, I'm authentic.
I'm going to look at the cup full, not half empty, not half full.
(03:41):
I'm going to look at it full because I like to put myself in the shoes of both
individuals because I'm not always right. Right, I'm human.
But more than anything, I think that they like the fact that I'm honest. I keep it real.
Let's talk about how we met. I remember being in law school.
I saw you all the time. You were a day student. I was a night student.
(04:03):
And at some point, we had a class together.
And that's when I first met you. And I thought to myself, this bitch thinks she all that.
That was a hater. That's called a hater. You didn't know my name.
You didn't take the time to get to know me, right? You just said,
this bitch thinks she's all that. Now, what made you think I thought that I
(04:25):
was all that? Because you carried yourself very well.
I will say that. You wasn't too friendly. You know, you got a lot of fake shit
going on left and right. That wasn't you.
I remember you keeping to yourself, staying focused on your studies.
I remember you being kind of quiet. But now that I know you,
you're not that quiet at all.
But I know in school, you know, prior to us interacting, those were my initial thoughts.
(04:48):
So I switched from day shift to night to evening. evening
my first year I did all day and then
I switched to evening it was a big transition for me because I had already made
friends and I was in my comfort zone and it was just good but for work reasons
I had a kid already I had a mortgage already so you know there was a lot of
things that I had that were real big responsibilities so I just had to kind
(05:11):
of go with the flow so yes I,
didn't know y'all I didn't know them so I wasn't talking to them like that but
I would call I don't remember the first class or when we met,
but I remember I used to see her before I switched to evening.
And something just drew me to her. I think I felt we had a lot of similarities.
I came from the hood in Atlanta. I came from Simpson Road, and it was nothing
(05:33):
but drugs and crime written.
And I don't know what about her, no disrespect, made me think that she was able to identify with that.
But I just knew she was one of them, right? Right.
And I don't remember the first conversation or any of that.
I just remember once we began to talk, we just were like magnets and we never left.
(05:54):
We started sitting by each other. We just became really good friends and decided to continue.
Yeah. And I'm glad we did. I'm glad we did. I can think of plenty of times I've
had to call and lean on you and just be thankful that you were there.
You know, you always have some good advice, whether I want to hear it or not.
It's always been that way. So what else? Co-parenting.
(06:15):
So I know one thing we have in common, and that's being single mothers.
Not that it's something to glorify because I rebuke that right now.
In the name of Jesus, look, we are still working on it. Yes.
But that is something that we've been able to discuss on numerous occasions.
Countless. Yeah. What's your take on that?
Yeah. So I had my first child at 21.
(06:38):
I was in college at University of West Georgia, drunk in love with a Carrolltonian, Carrollton, Georgia.
And we were both young and we were very much in love in a relationship.
And just like most young relationships, you think it's the only person in the
world and you can't breathe and live without them.
And if it's not him, it won't be anybody. That was me. Right.
(07:00):
And upon graduating or right before I graduated from undergrad,
I just knew that it had reached the wit's end. I had already had our son.
Our son had to come back with me to college.
My family was in Atlanta and none of my sisters had kids. My mom had four girls.
My mom was still working. My dad was a dad and older.
(07:20):
What does he know about a newborn? Right. And my son had to come back to college
with me and I was working at Arby's and I was a shift manager.
You. You couldn't tell this shit.
And I'll never forget, I worked that Friday, big and pregnant,
cleaning the shape machine.
And I went into labor that Sunday night at the church. I actually went to Walgreens
on Camp Creek and got some, somebody told me something crazy to get,
(07:42):
some kind of concoction. It might be like some castor oil.
And I put some orange juice with it and drank it. And it really got labor to going.
And I had my son that Monday. And when you have have a child,
it just gives you a different revelation.
You don't want a child to grow up in an environment where there's a lot of arguing and toxicity.
And I wasn't raised that way. And I knew I didn't want that for my life and
(08:04):
my child. So it was easy to sever things.
Nothing but that child would have made me leave that man alone. And I left him.
And I graduated and I came back home. And again, I had a baby.
So I had an internship at Douglas County Courthouse because I knew I wanted to be an attorney.
I had my baby with me. I took him to class, a newborn in a car RC. This is real, y'all.
(08:24):
And I was still working, like still working at Arby's with the baby.
And my child's father, his mother, she helped us a lot. So she would keep him
sometimes. She was really good at that.
And I graduated, came back home, could not find a job. I was getting $400 a
week from unemployment.
And that seemed like a lot of money back then.
And I was already and always super independent. And me and my mom have a great
(08:48):
relationship, but I just didn't want to stay there. I wanted to be grown.
So I had that baby, stayed with my mom for probably two, three months,
got me an apartment, stayed in there one year. And at 23, I bought my first home.
23 years old, five bedroom, three bathroom house. I'm telling you, nothing but the Lord.
And she, she remembers, she knows about my old house. She was there and stayed
(09:09):
there for 10 years. and had a second baby while in the old house and had a baby
by someone in our class in law school.
I thought the first baby daddy was bad.
Sorry.
Excuse me. It'll take another season for the second.
(09:30):
However. We'll have that kind of time. God's grace and mercy.
So had the second baby, was enthralled and enthrusted and depressed.
I'm talking about I'm going to therapy sessions three times a week at Kaiser on La Vista Road.
Group sessions and individual sessions. You're talking about somebody,
you want to lose some weight?
Have a no good man or no good woman. I was so frail and I was,
(09:53):
nobody could have told me I would have made it through. So again,
but God surpassed that, stayed in that house for 10 years, about three years,
two years after my first child.
And God said, your time is up in this location because I had gone through so
much being in that house and nothing dealing with the physical location of the
house, but just the physical location and emotions of my life.
(10:14):
And I wanted a brand new start. And I did that.
I jumped out, stepped out on faith, put my house on the market.
The house sold, got the offer, accepted on Christmas day. and I was like,
God, okay, is it really time for me to move?
Is it time, you know, and I'm moving in every area, not just physically,
but emotionally. Is it time for me to move?
And like a week later, I received my new mortgage statement and it was lower
(10:38):
than my mortgage already was.
And I'm like, God, this new mortgage is three times.
With this new, with the old one, which is the new amount it's going to be.
The new amount was going to be like $771 a mortgage, y'all, in and out of a five-bedroom house.
And that was for the old house, the new one was on the old house.
The new house, which I'm currently in, was going to be like $2,500.
(10:59):
And I got two kids now, right?
I ain't making no extra money. Everything is going up. Inflation was already
on the rise. And I was like, I don't know about this.
Went to the house, the house that I'm in now, saw it on the picture from my
dear friend Terica Wright.
I hated the house on the picture. I was like, this is not a house. Ain't no way.
Terica, I'm not going to look at this house. It was a Sunday.
(11:21):
It was raining. She said, just come look at the house. I'm like,
no, I like the other house. Went to the other house.
I was like, this ain't the house on the picture. This house looks so pretty.
Went to the house that I'm now in that I hated on the picture.
And I promise you, just as sure as I'm sitting here today, God said, this is your house.
I felt it. I went to that house every single Sunday and prayed.
They never put the key back in the lockbox. It was just like,
(11:43):
it was my house. I was going every Sunday, going in there and I was praying every single Sunday.
And that offer got accepted. And And I closed by selling my house and buying
my new house the same day, February 5th, 2021.
Same day. It was nothing but God. So again, first thing I am,
I'm a true believer and I'm a follower of Christ.
And I curse, I drink, I do a lot of things because I'm imperfect,
(12:04):
but I am a true follower of Christ. So that's a lot about me.
The next couple of questions, I would say, go into your personal relationship. So we need to know this.
Okay. What can we talk? What's a story we can talk about? Girl,
I got video. Let's dance. Red lobster.
Dancing. Yeah. Freestyle. We always freestyle battle. We get drunk. Oh, yes.
(12:27):
Every time we get drunk. You are now.
Don't get me started because I will do it. I'm going to tell you to do it.
I will do it. I will do it. Let me go get a cool little stage real quick.
Literally, every time we had some drinks and stuff, some kind of way,
somebody started off and we freestyle battling.
Yeah. Yeah. And I usually win. I mean, let's just be honest.
(12:49):
You know what I'm saying? Because we got three judges.
I'm saying we can go ahead and do it. I really like that part. I'll do it.
It's all the way. It's all the way. I can remember some things about us for sure.
Like what? But, I mean, just, it'll go back to just in my time of darkness. But, um...
(13:13):
I mean, you were just there for me. And you were the person I confided in more than anybody.
At that school, probably the only person I confided in, right? Yeah.
I'm about to cry. Don't cry. Yeah, you were just a really good friend to me.
Thank you. I'm sorry, y'all.
You like, yeah, I feel the same way. And you know what? I feel like I should have listened.
It's so many times, you know, I'm
(13:34):
hard-headed. I'm the type that I hear something and I'm just like, okay.
And then I go do my own thing. And then here I come back crying.
And you've never one time was like, bitch, I told you.
It's never been that. You could have told, you could have did I told you so
many times and you've never done that.
And I just, I really appreciate it. Girl, I can't tell you nothing. I was a fool first.
(13:55):
And that's okay. We just, we figuring it out and we're both so blessed,
so blessed to have beautiful children and they're thriving. Your kids are thriving.
They are thriving despite everything. You know, homeowners,
you know, career driven just doing great I mean I can think of so many people
that came where we came from that just doesn't have that story yeah they just
(14:18):
don't and it's something special about being a chosen one you just know God
God got you and it's so relaxing it's just like you know what despite whatever's going on around me,
I'm okay and I'm gonna be okay I think
the main thing about being a chosen one is it takes so long to
recognize that it's like you're literally ostracized or
the black sheep or the family or people don't understand you and for
(14:40):
me my defense mechanism was talking loud
that was getting my point across i felt like
the louder i was or the more boisterous i was
you was right you're gonna hear me and i'm right i thought
the volume quantified qualified being right and i'm learning don't nobody give
a damn but again it's a lot to do with your upbringing right i agree i agree
(15:06):
100 and you know what and And it's okay. It's okay to be yourself.
And know that everybody wasn't raised like you. It's actually an advantage.
I feel like I can walk in any room. I don't care if we on Simpson Road.
I don't care if we a Buckhead somewhere.
You can take me to the president's house and I'm still going to be okay.
It doesn't matter where we go. That's right. You know, everybody can't do that.
(15:26):
You got some of these people who might be able to go to the president's house.
But the second you decide to take them, you know, so they're not used to,
they're not going to make it, you know.
So I, I truly, I used to always think that a lot of things that I've been through
was like some kind of like, what did I, same things.
What did I do to, you know, why is everything always so hard for me?
I'm nice to everybody. I'm always, I'm very giving and loving.
(15:49):
Why is it that every time I turn around, you know, it's a problem or I have
to go through something. I'm not that strong.
Right. I'm tired of being strong. Right. You know, but it's,
it's actually, it's a blessing and God, God usually builds you in that way so
that you can take on whatever he has for you. And you remember the word and
you have to remember what it says. Your latter will be greater than your past.
And the first will be last and last will be first. So it's okay that you went
(16:13):
through those things because I would rather go through whatever at a young age
or even at this age than get in my old age and have to have strife and anxiety
and worry and all of those things.
So it's just, you wonder why me, but why not you, right? You're the chosen one.
That's right. Why not you? You know, he gives the battles to the ones who he knows can sustain them.
(16:36):
So why not you? And you is me, Lord. Yeah, that's right.
And I know it doesn't feel good. Trust me. I'm going through that. It does not feel good.
But you look back and say that breakup was really a breakthrough or that trial
and transgression was really for your testimony.
So that's what faith is, the things you can't see. That's right. Right.
But you just believe. And if you really, truly trust God or Jesus,
(16:59):
whoever your higher being is, then you know that he never lets you let.
Because just remember the times when you knew you were broke. Right.
And you're like, I ain't got no money. And you bought a doll scratcher off.
You want $20 or you found some money or you had some money to transfer from one account to another.
We've all been there. And I'm not going to say I won't be there again.
Well, no, I, Lord, I won't be there.
(17:21):
We're not going to speak. We're going to speak. speak life but you
just remember your past and all the things you went through when you got
through you're able to get through them so whatever it is you'll get through the next thing
that's just a part of life it doesn't stop you're gonna go through things
that's something i'm learning now it does not stop it don't matter what i do
but the important thing is to be surrounded by people who can speak life into
you and it won't judge you and it really will be there for you that's right
(17:44):
no you need a core group of good people you know it hasn't been a lot of them
there's too many Somebody's going to get to talking about you. Oh, yeah. For sure.
For sure. And it's a blessing to be able to find those people and keep them
all. I'm so thankful for you. Thank you. Me too.
Okay, y'all. What we...
Music.
(18:18):
Music.
(19:14):
Music.
(19:47):
This is the shit I got to go through. I got to choose between my job and my
marriage. And the shit getting old. It's getting very old.
I see what you're telling me. Your marriage works to do it. I'll be like,
what's the matter with you? They don't know about my life. I ain't recording
until you ain't popping that shit.
I don't need to dance on no Facebook, no YouTube.
No, no, no, no. And I don't think it's about that. Because my thing is the same.
(20:09):
You pay $500 a month. You can drop it. I'm going to put your business out here.
You pay $500 a month in child support. It ain't nobody been doing no extra.
No shoes, no clothes, no toys, no nothing. Fuck all that.
I don't give a damn. No, that's it. She would beat the shoes out of Charlie for that money.
She beat the shoes out of Charlie for it. That's what she paid Charlie for.
(20:31):
The court wanted Charlie for it. They ain't got no shit now.
And she ain't drinking that now. She should have never took the fucking Charlie
for her. She needed more money.
I don't give a fuck about that. I don't give a fuck about that.
Fuck that child. Fuck him too. I don't give a fuck about that.
I think I got a tree between my chest. Whoa.
I'm ready. This is what we got. Yeah. Whose side? Whose side?
(20:53):
Please don't give me the wrong side.
Let me show the camera who I got. Ready? Go.
Oh, you know, it's one thing about being a good lawyer is when you can argue a terrible case.
So I'm with all of it. Let's see what we can do. And I can argue both sides
as well, but thank you. And maybe we should do that.
What's that? Argue both sides? Well, we can do it the way it was initially supposed
(21:16):
to be done. And then switch? Yeah. Okay.
Y'all. Well, wait a minute. Who say you get to go first? You can go.
First of all, back to what I was saying. My first child's father, nobody's perfect.
Of course, there's going to be things that we don't agree on,
but I must give him some kudos.
When you got more than one child, he's a good father to our son.
(21:39):
Son now again there's some things I definitely don't agree on but for the most
part I'm grateful he's a good father I'll say that,
Defend the husband. Let's start with the issue. First issue is she's a bitch.
And I know that's really not the legal issue, but we're not in court.
She's a bitch. She doesn't know her hierarchy, how to talk to a man, first of all.
(22:01):
Second thing, she's not even in a family tree, seemingly, because she's saying, F your child.
That was wild. That's more than wild. But we'll get to the legality of it. Defend the husband.
The issue is, should the husband be doing anything additional for the child
because he has a court order to pay $500 a month for the child's necessities.
(22:23):
That's his child support agreement.
The answer for me is yes.
Legally, he's not obligated to. Morally and ethically, it seems like he's a good man.
He wants to do more for the child. I don't know what year this was in or where
they live demographically, but we all know $500 a month, You're going to spawn.
Divots and buy a pair of socks. That $500 is gone.
(22:45):
You'll get your hair done. You got to add some money to that. You'll fill up an X5.
What $500 a month putting a dent in at? So my oldest soul was a size 13 in shoes.
Even if I buy him some Air Force Ones, almost $200, right?
That's one pair of shoes. but we're talking about necessity,
(23:07):
shelter, clothing, water, food.
We're not even talking about other things, spring break, vacations.
They want to go out with their friends to the movies, even if it's a child in
kindergarten, field trips, ice cream, after-school snacks, after-school care, all that stuff.
So the first thing is she's wrong because this should be a conversation between you and your husband.
(23:32):
He shouldn't have got on social media with it, I'll give him that.
Because he definitely got on social media with it. Shouldn't have did that.
But there still should be a conversation between you and your husband.
The issue arises not only what she says the way she says it.
$500 a month clearly is not enough for the mother and the father must feel the
same way to do what needs to be done for the child. It could be a birthday.
It could be something special that the child wants. I don't know.
(23:54):
But legally, I'm kind of arguing on the other side.
Legally, he's not obligated to because whatever the court order is or whatever
the agreement is, that's in stone, right?
That's justified. That's what's memorialized and that's what the court is going
to go with. However, any additional things that you may want to do for your
child as a man or a woman, you should be able to do.
(24:16):
The shoes, not $500 shoes. And if they are, this is something he's choosing to do.
So she dead ass wrong. I don't know.
You know what? What I hate the most about these videos is there's never enough information.
And as just the way I've learned to
think is to try to boil down
(24:37):
to what's really taking place here right I
don't know how much this man makes what if he's unemployed what if the wife
is fronting the $500 a month and the bills at the house she would have said
it she wouldn't have said it she would have said she could have said it but
even if she didn't that doesn't make it not true we just I just feel like it's
not enough because why are you this mad it's not like this This man is making
(24:58):
a million dollars a year.
And he's like, she's like, no, you ain't giving no more than $500.
He don't have it. They struggling. This leads me to believe that they're struggling.
And if that is the case, I don't have no more than $500.
But those are all additional possibilities. We got to go out to facts.
$500 a month is not going to help my lifestyle.
(25:21):
You mentioned the X5. You mentioned, you know, going to, what did you say?
You didn't say just, you said Spine Divots. You know, you mentioned these things.
It's a little upper echelon. Everybody's not going to Spondavis.
Everybody's not driving the X5. I drive a Maserati.
$500 a month is not going to do very much, you know, for my lifestyle.
We don't know these people.
(25:41):
You know what I'm saying? $500 a month before I was an attorney or anything
else was a good amount of money to do a lot of things with, you know?
And we have to think about what the income looks like before we say that you're not doing enough.
So the court ordered this income, so they looked at both. They looked at the
income and said, $500 is sufficient from you to cover whatever this child needs.
(26:05):
Now, him going outside of his way to do something is fine. But if I'm defending
the wife, the question is, how much of that is pouring into wife?
Now, as a wife, I'm here to back my husband. I'm here to make sure that everything is okay with you.
I'm going to make sure I carry you where you fall and encourage you to get up.
You know, at the same time, you're not about to drag me. I don't know if the
(26:27):
man works or how much he, if he bringing in $1,000 a month, that $500 look like
a lot now, right? Right. Because who's covering the bills?
Now, if he's bringing in $10,000 a month, then it wouldn't have been a $500 support amount.
I understand. So let's go here because the argument is not about the $500 a
month that he's paying for child support. We know that that's clear and cool.
The issue is him doing anything additional.
(26:49):
So the $500 a month is what the court ordered for the mother to get.
Whatever your issue is as a wife and
the money he's bringing in you need to supplement with that hey you
need to get another job you need to get a higher paying job but don't
make it about the child for a one-time instance which is a pair of shoes i would
also love to know what the baby mama is doing because sometimes we get in these
(27:11):
situations where everybody is so dependent on one or two persons when they're
not the only people involved so let's say the baby mama is working and she's
making a good amount of money, more than him.
Let's say she's making the amount that both of them bringing together is her husband and wife.
Is it still not up to the father to pull his weight in the child's life?
Whatever you choose to do, whatever job you have, that has nothing to do with
(27:33):
me being the child's mother. This is you buying a pair of shoes for your child.
Don't worry about what we're doing over here. No, we got to worry about it.
What you're not going to do is take my 500. Where's your 500?
Because here's the thing. This is what I'm missing. I've been buying the shoes
for all this time. All that's fine, but when you're calculating child support,
people tend to forget that child support is the responsibility of both parents.
(27:55):
So somewhere where they calculated that child support.
Whether she makes more or less than him, she has an obligation as well. Correct.
Right? So you got his $500 and then she got something too, you know, to have to pay.
So you're getting the $500, you're taking care of your bills at home,
you know, because it does go toward lights and, you know, gas and water.
But the shoes may not even be a necessity.
(28:16):
The shoes are, I want this. So we can take that out of the scope because it
may not even be a necessity.
Nobody's saying, my child needs some shoes or the mother's not buying the child's shoes.
If that was the case, I'm sure somebody would have said. I feel like that's
what he said. No, he said.
He said, let's look at it. Let's look at it. Let's play it back.
Because I just want to say, I'm going to buy my worst one. I feel like he said,
I'm going to buy me some shoes. Will was for a sport or something. He got to have it.
(28:39):
And again, it could be some Walmart shoes, $30. It could be some shoes that
the child want that's $200.
I just feel like for the wife to get that angry, this is not.
This is your wife we're talking about. She's not going to be a complete bitch
to her husband. That's a big official fry. She mad because he ain't bringing her what she want.
And she's probably also mad and don't like the baby mama. so now let me bring
for you to say F that child you're like that child,
(29:02):
although I'm defending the wife or not she was dead ass wrong for that and I
tell my clients all the time when they're in the wrong and I think as a husband
he needs to be checking her about that because why would you let anybody talk
shit about your child you'll be getting divorced yeah cause who you you don't
give a fuck about my child.
But I ain't on y'all side I'm defending the wife all I'm saying is he probably
not had no damn money and she probably helped it already and I would be frustrated
(29:26):
too cause what you mean then you need extra money. I just had to scrape this part up.
She didn't say none of that. She need a different husband. She need a different
husband. He need a different baby mama.
He need a different wife. It's just all fucked up. Baby mama,
we don't know what the baby mama got. The baby mama ain't shit.
Because why you asking me for money on top of money I paid to give you?
I'm not asking you for nothing. Your child must choose.
Well, ask your mama. Ask your mama to get it out the $500 I just sent you.
(29:48):
Okay, now let me tell y'all something. Now, I have... Now, this is real talk.
I have a friend who kind of same situation.
Not nowhere near that same situation. but anything extra the father feels like,
I paid child support, this is not enough. Let me tell you something.
Your child didn't have braces when that child support was calculated.
(30:09):
Those braces is an additional $200 a month. We should have to run back down
to court to say, hey, or we may not be able to because there may not be a substantial
change or the timing may not be right as far as the two, three-year tenure that
is a requirement for us to get this change.
So if the child get braces or needs braces in between this time,
oh, it's in the child support?
What? The cost of living adjustment is not in the child support.
(30:31):
We know everything is inflated. What about that? The child is getting bigger.
What about that? The clothes don't cost the same amount. So there's a lot of
variables and factors that go into this.
The way a father and mother, since we laid down and made this child,
should be responsible and mature enough to say, okay, this is not an egregious ask.
We're not asking for you to go buy no Gucci shoes or things of that nature.
(30:51):
Child support don't factor in prom.
I tell you what. Child support don't factor in spring break.
I tell you what. I tell you what, since you're trying to factor in all this
stuff, how about you give me $500 and a baby, and I don't have to ask you for shit else?
And guess what I'm going to do? Give him a baby. And guess what I'm going to do?
Since you can't see no forward to do any motherfucking thing,
give him a baby. And guess what I'm going to do? Because I know it take more
(31:12):
than $500. You know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to pay them $25 every month to keep me out of jail,
and I'm going to do like y'all do, and I'm going to say, I'm going to see what I can do.
I ain't got it. I got something on it. He go half. He go 20 on the 250.
I'm going to see and not answer the phone. Y'all call, send in the voicemail.
I'm going to do just like you do. And I ain't going to go to jail because guess what?
(31:32):
Y'all know I'm doing the best I can. I pay something.
That's all I need to do. I give $25 a month to the state of Georgia.
They don't want me child abandonment. So if y'all want to play them games, take your child.
Somebody got the wrong attorney. Take your child. Your ass going to jail. All right.
Your ass going to jail. By the time y'all find my address to serve me,
the child will be 18. You know how we do. We go from pillow to post.
(31:54):
Come on now, you know it, man. And that map don't go away either.
It's not going to go away. Catch me if you can. We're going to start there.
Catch me if you can. Let me ask y'all a question because you said something
in your conversation that I think was kind of breezed over.
It said, what if the child asked the dad for these shoes? And then you said,
well, you need to tell them to ask your mom for the child support. That conversation.
(32:18):
I don't know that I would tell him to ask his mom. You know what I'm saying?
Like, that happens a lot. Oh, yeah. But essentially.
Essentially. My oldest son's dad does that. Ask your mom. I pay her child support.
First of all, this is a kid.
I never told him and never will the shit you didn't do, the shit you have done
that you shouldn't have done.
It's for him to grow up as a man. And that's smart.
These kids are just like we were. You grow up and say, oh, dang,
(32:41):
daddy was married that whole time. Oh, daddy had a girlfriend.
Oh, you start putting a puzzle together when you become an adult.
Oh, mama was sneaking such and such. That really wasn't my uncle.
So that's not my position to tell my child, your daddy ain't shit, X, Y, Z.
You don't do that to a child because you make them grow up.
Thinking that. Yeah, and you don't know how that's going to affect them.
(33:01):
So as a young adult, you'll cultivate these images
and these memories reason these special
events and you'll remember who did what so i'm never gonna
do that so why would you bring a kid into this saying ask your
mama that's what i pay child support i don't think as i don't
think i will ever advise him to do that essentially that's what the issue is
though he needs to be asking his mom let's replay back and see who said what
(33:24):
about his mom his mom needs to be the one to say oh baby you need some shoes
let me get them not call your daddy why does she have to say that child support
is for necessity it's not extracurricular if you want to play That doesn't make sense.
Yeah, but not a new pair of shoes. It may be a pair of shoes that you want.
You may make good grades. You're not affording that as a kid.
Why would I give you anything outside of what the court already told me I have
to give you? Because that's part of being a parent.
(33:45):
No, it's not. Yes, it is. Part of being a parent is what the court decides.
If you decided, hold on, you decided you wanted to take this.
But you're talking to the court.
Yeah, because you decided you wanted to take this. Why am I on child support?
Let's start with that. Your child support is not giving me what I needed to
make sure that the child was sustained.
We don't know that. We don't know that. She could have ran to the court just
anyway. We don't know either way, so it could be either one.
It could be either one, but here's the thing. Once the court determined, hey, legally...
(34:07):
This is what you need to give based on your income to support this child all
the way around. Okay. It stops there.
Why is he a bad guy after that? I don't know what this man is.
It's not that you're a bad guy. I bet he's a habit. You keep throwing it.
He clearly has it. I think he's a habit. He has it because he's not telling
the baby. You think he had it.
Let me tell you. I think he had it. He has it because he's not telling the baby,
mama, I ain't got it. He's arguing with the wife that I do got it and it's what
(34:28):
I want. It's because the wife got something.
It's because the wife got something. The wife would have said,
this is my money. You ain't got shit. She say after child, she would have clearly
said, nigga, you ain't got no money.
The child probably disrespectful as fuck, and we already know how that go.
She would have said that, too. The child probably be talking.
He probably be like, fuck the mama. Fuck the wife. So really, yeah.
We don't know what's up. That's just like me as a mother saying,
(34:48):
okay, I shouldn't have to do anything extra outside the scope of necessities
and making sure you eat every night.
So I ain't got to go to Dairy Queen and get you nothing because you made a good grade.
All the courts say I got to do what all society says I have to do is make sure
that you're closed and sheltered and fed.
No, it's not the same. same it is the same the only difference is this is you're going by
two incomes as a mother why would i ever tell my child
i don't have to buy no ice cream for making a good grade you can
(35:10):
tell them that if you wanted to i mean you'll be a bitch but you
wouldn't be wrong and he would be a bitch you just made my point he would be
a bitch for telling his child that well he a bitch then because he ain't no
bitch he ain't gonna get it who said they didn't have it i feel like this is
your feeling okay let me ask you this then because i feel like it's your feelings
too If this man made six figures,
(35:31):
do you think the wife will be yapping in the background about $500?
Yeah, because it could be an emotional thing. She don't like to shower on her baby mama.
And that's what it seems like it is. No, the problem is... Because these people
who make six figures who are cheap as hell.
No, no, no. These people who live above their means who make $40,000 and they do what they want to do.
And you're talking about the court going on money. People have money every day.
He might sell weed on the side. Man, hell no. This a whole lot of...
(35:51):
This a whole lot of... I mean, you...
You putting the whole... Here's the thing. Well, that's her fault.
That's the goddamn baby mama fault because what you should do is make sure all of his income.
All his income was included in those calculations.
Now, the calculations, you asking me how do I know he don't have it?
The calculations are telling me he don't have it. But the issue is,
he has no child with the baby mama.
The baby mama is not the issue. The issue ain't got nothing to do with the baby
(36:13):
mama. The issue is the wife. The wife.
But why is the wife doing that? Because she don't like the baby mama or the child.
We don't know that. Then why she don't like him? Because he's a good man who's
doing extra things for his child and she don't like him. So she mad because
she feel like this taken out of her house.
I think she caring. And guess what? But if you're a real woman,
the child should be able to ask you since you're his wife and you're the stepmama for a pair of shoes.
(36:36):
Let's really get into it. You're definitely not going to ask her shit.
She already said fuck him. Yeah, and guess what? You're definitely not going to ask her anything.
I hope he do get the shoes. She should be able to, but she's not a good boy.
And guess what? If they get kicked out of their damn apartment because the son
needs some more goddamn shoes, then so be it. If you get kicked out of your
apartment for not being able to buy a pair of shoes, you need to get your ass
kicked out of your apartment.
That's fucked up, Jessica. Everybody ain't got it. He do. He's saying he can
go do it. He's saying he can do it. She the one looking at them bills and she
(37:01):
saying, we don't fucking have it. And guess what? She never said we don't have it.
Everything else she said leads anybody to believe they don't have it.
They not sitting on those $100,000 saying you can't have it.
We don't have to speculate. They ain't got no money. We don't have to speculate
what they have or don't have.
She got no money, man. Very vocal person. She would have said we don't have
it. I don't know that. I don't know that.
(37:23):
Play it again. I need to see it again. No, we're not playing it again because
if it sounds, we're going to put y'all on the timer. Okay, sorry.
Audience i'd like you to keep in mind that i had a fucked up case to start off
with but i think i and this is what i'll be talking about bar attorney she can
(37:45):
argue both sides yeah i mean well here's the thing i don't think them folks
had the money i just don't think they had the money to do it there's no way
you're sitting on all that money and you're just saying yes,
If I could talk, please, without interruption.
I don't think they would. I don't think they would be...
Be so harsh about, I don't think the wife would be so harsh about not being
able to pay for something else
(38:07):
if they had the money to pay for something else. I think that's obvious.
And sometimes we want to squeeze, I see it all the time, where they want to
squeeze, what is it called, blood out of a tunnel.
And you just can't do that. If the money is not there, it's not there.
And he's so late. I seen what I need to see when he sat down and started playing the game.
He going to cut on the damn, the social media, talk shit, then go back and start
playing in the game. I done seen what I seen. Come on now.
(38:30):
Come on now. She the one handling the finances. If I had to guess what's going
on, she handling the finances.
They don't have the ability to cover that. She's probably covering some shit for them right now.
There's a lot of guessing going on. The issue has nothing to do with the child's mother.
The issue is the wife having a problem with the father buying the child an additional
pair of shoes, whether it's a necessity or want.
Kids want to participate in extracurricular activities.
(38:53):
Those things may or may not be added to child support. The same way,
if the tenure, if they haven't met the threshold for the years, then they can't.
And who wants to run down there, file a motion and do all this thing?
Deposit that one more money. Well, guess what?
At the end of it, am I being interrupted?
I'm waiting for the most. I don't know.
(39:17):
Yeah, let me get the kayak.
Additional. It could be the child wants to not participate in basketball.
(39:39):
They need basketball shoes.
That's an issue because it's not included in the child support.
She, A, is not a good person, the way she spoke about a child.
We're going to start there.
Second, she is not respectful to her husband and her household.
The third thing is, he was lame as hell for jumping on social media.
Stay off social media. Everybody don't need to know your business.
(40:01):
This was too intricate and intimate to have out there that went viral.
But at the end of the day, clearly he felt there was enough funds in his account.
I don't know if they have a joint one or not to buy the shoes.
I don't feel like he was wrong because this is something that the child is asking for.
This clearly is not something that he's asking for on a regular.
This is not every month I'm asking for a pair of shoes.
This was a one-time instance and she should respect that.
(40:22):
And as a woman, as a stepmother, if you feel like he doesn't have it,
talk to him about that or go have.
Since you don't have a lot of the bills and you got the money you're making the most or
if you feel like he doesn't have any money go get you a new man why are
you supporting the husband he should be supporting you y'all should be there for
one another I agree I don't think he had the money and I don't think he's he's
conscious of it because she the way she started roaring like it was a big deal
(40:46):
tells me hold on what you spending money for why would you even be checking
your husband about she's a whore clearly like why anybody do it about money
like she's a checker she likes to check people,
She's a champion. Now she's a champion. She got her education now.
She's a champion. She got your degrees now.
(41:14):
Music.
(42:37):
Music.
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