Navigating Parental Rights and Co-Parenting Challenges

Welcome back to the "Let Them See That Child" podcast and the Just Joanna series! In this episode, Joanna delves into the often misunderstood topic of why she is passionate about representing fathers in custody cases. She clarifies that her loyalty lies with her clients, regardless of gender, and emphasizes the importance of fathers in children's lives. Joanna also provides practical advice on handling co-parenting challenges and the importance of following court orders.

Later in the episode, Joanna reads a heartfelt letter from a father struggling with unfair treatment in the court system. She offers insightful guidance on how to navigate these difficult situations and the importance of modifying court orders when life circumstances change. The discussion highlights the critical role of legal representation in ensuring fair treatment for all parents.

Additionally, Joanna tackles a sensitive issue from a listener concerned about living with a roommate who is pregnant. She addresses the need for empathy and understanding in such situations, reminding listeners of the importance of kindness and support during challenging times.

Tune in for a candid conversation about parental rights, co-parenting struggles, and the importance of empathy in difficult situations. Don't forget to drop a comment on your favorite part of the episode and subscribe for more insightful discussions every week!

 

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we are today going to be talking about a little bit of personal
side of me people want to know i think this episode is about why i'm on the
father's side now let me be very clear i'm glad i'm glad y'all brought this
up because i get it a lot i get a lot of do you represent mom do you represent

(00:41):
mom do you represent mom and don't take this the wrong way but i represent whoever pays amazing.
Listen, y'all think I'm turning down clients because it's a woman or a mom.
You never was thinking that. That don't even make sense. I represent the client.
If you, you could check. Anybody can vouch for me. You can check my reviews.
I have plenty of women that I've done their case and done an excellent,

(01:04):
excellent, wonderful job on it.
You better hope the dad called me before the mom or vice versa,
just depending on which side you're on, you know, and I'm gonna do a great job
regardless because it's my job to do that.
Now, am I Passionate about father's rights. Absolutely. One thousand percent.
I think somebody needs to represent the underdog. I think that fathers have

(01:24):
it very difficult in this scene.
I think that they need an attorney like myself, someone who's aggressive,
that's going to push through and get the job done.
I think that men play a very, very intricate role in children's lives and that
they should be present whenever it's possible.
So yeah i'm very passionate about it um but
i'm not on anyone's side i'm on the child's side and i'm

(01:47):
i'm on my side i'm on jg boy law side so
whoever's rocking with us you know that's that's
kind of who who gets the best of it that's just how that works all right guys
so this is wwjd what would joanna do where we read your letters and i respond
um in the most with the most uh non-legal advice.

(02:13):
That I can give What what the best and non legal advice that I could give?
This one is title. Nobody's listening to me and I'm paying for it Well,
what the hell you paying for it for next?
This is dumb next we don't we need to read this.
They say I got to read it, y'all. But why is he paying for it?

(02:34):
This is a dumb title. Okay, let's get into it. Hi, Joanna. I'm terrified.
I've been paying over 100% of my support since 2019.
Don't get to see or communicate with my children. Threats of violence from her
husband gets dismissed.
The original agreement was I'd pay 95% of the year. I'd be claiming the oldest daughter.

(02:55):
I had not and lost out on over $20,000 in taxes, stimulus payments.
Payments from I had not once had my $1,100 taxes and $1,800 stimulus checks
taken, and two days later had a warrant put out for no payment at her request, which was granted.
Everything I've ever said has been shut down, and I've been held in contempt before.
I was arrested at work from that warrant and lost my job.

(03:19):
The new husband threatened violence every time it becomes violent.
I asked to meet in public, the police station, and it was denied because she doesn't want to.
Notice I've I've always picked them up and dropped them off.
When we originally agreed, one picked up and the other dropped them off,
said I'm a terrible father.
Everything I say, I get shut down and held in contempt.
Everything she says, I cannot even defend against. We had a last session and

(03:41):
the judge finally looked and saw I had been paying over 100% since 2019,
says I should have been claiming the oldest last year. She still claimed her.
I'm $4,000 behind now, homeless with another child.
And I have court tomorrow because I haven't been able to pay this year.
Haven't even done my taxes in two years because I don't know what the fuck.

(04:03):
At my rope's end, I leave court and just cry in my car.
I still cry constantly because I miss them.
Nothing I do or say matters. Her word is gold and I'm just a piece of shit dad
who doesn't want them and doesn't pay according to her.
That's all they hear. I cried Christmas when I finally got to see them.
I'm terrified of court tomorrow.

(04:27):
Oh okay so let's let's break
this down you've been paying over 100 of your support
since 2019 but you don't get to see or communicate with your children you
mentioned being held in contempt i don't know
what you've been held in contempt for but that tells me that there's
a court order in place and if there's a court order in place
that means there are certain times and dates that you're supposed to have your

(04:48):
children and if you're not getting your children when you're
supposed to have them according to that order then she too
should be in contempt and then
it goes into talking about taxes so
the irs code is what
controls tax return and child tax credits
and things of that nature and just because you pay

(05:09):
support does not necessarily mean you're going
to claim the child that's not that's not how that works it
works for whoever has the child um the majority of time of the year now if you've
agreed otherwise because i saw some language in here that suggested that you
guys agreed to certain things the agreement needs to be in a court order otherwise
you can't enforce it because um i was arrested at work from that warrant and lost my job.

(05:36):
What i don't know about this story y'all because how you
paying a hundred percent of your you paying
a hundred percent of what you're supposed to be paying and you got held and contempt and
went to jail it's just not adding up something is missing
here how did how did you end up in contempt of
court you keep talking about how you paying 100 i'm paying
100 of my support you even said the
judge realized he was paying 100 what did you get locked up for what it says

(06:03):
was it don't say that it says the original agreement was i paid 95 of the year
i'd be claiming the oldest daughter i I have not and lost out on over $20,000
in taxes, stimulus payments.
I have not once had my taxes, 1800 stimulus checks taken, and two days later
had a warrant put out for no payment at her request.

(06:25):
So when did you stop paying?
Everything I've ever said was shut down and I've been held in contempt of court.
It's just not adding up. If you're paying 100% of your support,
I don't know what you're in trouble for because you did what you were supposed to do.
If you were not paying, then yes, you are going to be held in contempt.
And people tend to think that because somebody doesn't do one part of the order,

(06:48):
that authorizes you not to do the other part. That's not how that works.
Let's say you're supposed to get your kids every other weekend.
She's not allowing you to get the kids. That don't mean you don't pay support
because you'll be in contempt.
Okay, you pay your support, she don't let you see the kids, now she's in contempt.
Everything on that order has to be followed. And it becomes separate issues.

(07:11):
So they don't coincide and you don't get to take matters into your own hands
in that way. I don't know how you got locked up.
But here's the thing. If you find yourself in a situation where you cannot keep
up with the obligation, then it needs to be modified so that you're not being
held responsible for something that you can't keep up with the other thing here,

(07:32):
is if you are.
He says everything she says I cannot even defend against we had a last session
and the judge finally looked and saw I had been paying over 100% since 2019
says I should have been claiming the oldest last year he still claimed her.
Judge ain't say that shit but I i'll

(07:52):
go with it now you said you was paying a hundred percent then you
turn around and said i'm four thousand behind and you homeless
and you got another child you got time to have
other kids and you got all this going on i don't
want to be judgmental let me not do that let me back let me i digress
if you are under an
order that is not operating um

(08:15):
in a way that covers the reality of
your life or the situation that you're actually in
then you need to modify that order just like you said y'all agree that
want to pick up and want to drop off but she's not abiding by that it should
have been in the order stop agreeing what you're agreeing for outside of the
order whatever's in the order that's what you can enforce and if you can show

(08:37):
that um she's not abiding by the order she too needs to be held in contempt
you bring that to the court's attention
hey she's not doing what the court instructed
her to do they i've seen people go
to jail behind it it's really not a game you really
need to let the courts know what's happening you gotta you gotta take matters

(08:57):
out of out of their hands or take their power of control out of their hands
and and let the court deal with it because that's what the other side is going
to do that's why you got arrested because she took it out of your hands and
gave it to the court to decide side.
And now you have court tomorrow because you haven't been able to pay this year.
So you want a full on year unable to pay.

(09:18):
When you, when you realize your income was not going to allow you to cover the,
the obligation that you have before you, that was the time to change it.
Then that way you're not accruing you're not gonna walk in court and say oh
i couldn't pay it and they're just like oh okay it's all good no you're still
gonna be responsible for it,
so when you realize hey um this

(09:41):
this child support obligation that i have um is not in line with the income
that i had at the time that it was put in it needs to be changed right then
that's when you hop on that let me go ahead and get this situated so i'm not
held responsible for something that i cannot do and kind of dig yourself into
a bigger hole. I'm sorry you miss your children.
But like I said if there's a court order you can get back to them.

(10:03):
It's nothing there that's gonna stop you from holding her accountable just like
it sounds like she's trying to hold you accountable for failure of a patent.
And that's what I would do. Sometimes it's you know when two parties don't get
along you don't even do it anymore you just go outside of that and you got to
handle it with the court that's what they're there for to handle it where you

(10:25):
can't handle it on your own.
Um and i know you're terrified of court
tomorrow because they could easily hold you in
contempt again just got
to be honest and give it to god at this point and i
would hope to see you dig yourself out of this hole and get
it changed so that you're not you're not sliding back if that makes any sense

(10:49):
oh good luck if you in georgia you need to call well he don't have no money
he don't need to call he's four thousand dollars behind you might want to use that pay
the four thousand you behind okay would i be the asshole for telling my roommate

(11:10):
that if she decides to keep her baby she needs to move out i am a 23 year old
female i've been living with the roommate who was a 21 year old female for just about a year now.
I wouldn't consider us friends but we get along well and she's been nice to
live with. She just approached me today and told me she's pregnant.
Multiple tests have been taken. I asked what her plan was and she told me that

(11:31):
the situationship has been told and wants nothing to do with her or any baby
and wants her to get an abortion.
She told me she's going to give it a week to think over and then make a decision.
I don't want to put more pressure on her or influence her decision negatively
but I don't want to be living with a baby.
I also don't want to be the one moving out since the apartment was mine first
since she moved in with me.
I don't know if I should talk to her about this before after she makes her decision.

(11:55):
I think she should at least hear what I think since it impacts my living situation.
I think you are a bitch or an asshole because here this girl is trying to figure out what to do.
And not to say y'all got to be,
you don't have to be friends to be kind to somebody or to be empathetic.
That's very self-centered of you to say, oh shit, she's having a baby that her

(12:18):
man don't want nothing to do with and she don't know what she going to do.
And the first thing you can think of is you don't want to live with the baby.
The fucking baby ain't even here.
She just got pregnant. Goddamn. Can she figure out something before you start
talking about who you want to live with?
Matter of fact, she don't, she shouldn't want to live with your ass.
Cause you sound like a bitch.
You sound like a bitch and you ought to be ashamed. Cause how about don't nobody

(12:38):
want to live? The baby don't want to live with your ass. How about that?
Should I tell her? Yeah, go ahead and tell her, tell her how you feel so she can move around.
Cause I wouldn't want to be living with anybody who is that selfish and self-centered.
Get your own place with your broke ass that's why you got a roommate in the
first place since you don't want to live with nobody get your own place the
i don't like this one that was oh that was rude and mean oh my god next.

(13:10):
What should i do get your own then you wouldn't have no roommate if you weren't
so broke i don't want to live with a baby yeah i don't want to live with a baby
how about the baby don't want to be with you because who is you would i be the
asshole baby i ain't even got here she barely pregnant you talking about you
don't want to live with a baby damn how long this lease is.

(13:37):
Yeah i don't that is,
she says i'm reading some of the comments down here now y'all she said she's the only one on the,
She says, I think the earlier you tell her the better it will be,
it gives her more time to process, find somewhere else to live and have better options.
This person said baby better pay the rent.

(14:00):
Better pay the rent. She's a bitch for that. I don't want to be living with a baby. What move?
Yeah, that's the mean shit. You know when somebody ain't never been pregnant
or like anything dealing with situations like that.
Because there's no empathy there at all. And I don't respect it.

(14:21):
You don't have to be so self-centered. You know what I'm saying?
You got plenty of time to figure out what your, we don't even know what your next move is.
You making it seem like you doing her a favor. Y'all roommates,
y'all both pay those bills.
If you really wanted your own place, you would have had your own place.
You've been living together just about a year now.
This a long ass lease, if we talking you want to live with you living with a

(14:42):
baby, you got to hold nine months for the baby to get here.
Music.
And that's what I would do and that's what I would do,

(15:02):
I mean you could you could evict somebody because you don't like what it fits
me I don't think it doesn't matter you know what I'm saying but you you have
to give a certain amount of notice each
state is different on that um yeah but
i'm i'm just i'm stuck on the fact that this lady
just told you i'm pregnant i don't have nobody or

(15:24):
no help and the first thing came to your mind is
damn nine months from now i don't want a baby living with me that's wild people
are so self-centered and they wonder why they look me so fucking bad man yeah
you ain't lying she don't need to be around your ass y'all shoot y'all need
to go y'all step away anyway i've seen what i need to see,

(15:46):
i don't need nobody energy around me in that space like that you don't need
to be in my face every day that's how you feel about me i can't even go through
something in life without you getting ready to kick me the fuck out nine months
in advance who does that not a real girl get your own place then you gotta worry
about no roommate brokey.

(16:06):
I mean let me back up so one more thing about that you are not wrong for seriously
because i want to get it right y'all okay you're not wrong for wanting to.
Um have not wanting to live
with them i think um that being your first response would be very inconsiderate

(16:27):
that's what i think all right y'all introducing joanna rent we're gonna do a
social media video i'm gonna watch it y'all gonna watch it i'm gonna rant,
my baby said nobody be crying i don't care i told you stop them they want to
cut my baby out of here look at that shit that shit sad hurt my baby feeling

(16:49):
now wait but you don't hurt the hurt my baby my baby sat down for two hours
my baby sat down for two hours,
i don't want to talk about this what i'm gonna say i don't even know what to say um,
um oh i mean we
we never we never want to see a baby um

(17:11):
sad or hurt for any reason we we
love the kids i also don't really
know what's happening why why does she feel like
i heard her say i do my own girl hair and i
kind of remember this video if i'm not mistaken the mom is a hairstylist and
if i'm not mistaken because i do some research on a video real quick the mom

(17:32):
is a hairstylist i believe and he had his girlfriend no he went and paid and
got the baby hair done and she's like no i do my baby i don't want nobody else hands on my baby hair.
I think mom was a little little extreme here okay so how you could have handled it.

(17:55):
Is one not in front of the baby let's be very clear a
lot of these conversations and dealings don't need to take place in front
of your children it's already stressful enough and i think
that's causing her to be a lot more anxious here um
it's probably half of the reason why she's crying not necessarily because she's
cutting her hair but she can she has she's there for
the tension between mom and dad that's one two um

(18:16):
hey moving
forward do not have anybody
else do my baby hair i don't want you doing that you know as opposed to let
me just cut it out her head you trying to hurt his business i don't know that

(18:38):
she's thinking about the baby the baby liked her hair it sounds like,
so i mean if it was done at one time yeah be mad about it but you don't have to ruin it.
You're trying to you're trying to prove a point to him i told
you know i don't want you doing that so i'm gonna cut it out and you're actually
hurting her now him you sitting at her recording it what you got going on i

(19:01):
mean i'm i'm a fan of allowing parents to make day-to-day decisions right i'm
not gonna call my co-parent like hey i'm i think about making chicken nuggets for
dinner tonight what you think you know day-to-day decisions it's going to be
things that you're going to decide for your child while the child is in your
care i think hairstyles kind of fall into that so if i want to get my baby hair

(19:21):
done it really shouldn't be that much of an issue but again mom is a stylist
they need to they need to get on one page about.
Getting the hair done also since you're a hairstylist why
the hell one done or did he take it down and then
go get it done or did you send the baby over there well hell not done and
then get mad that he got it done because if the
hell was done and he took it down and now everybody wrong but if

(19:44):
it wasn't done why the hell wasn't done i don't know
um i just don't like how they handled it in front of the baby it's okay to have
grown-up problems um it's okay to have co-parenting issues and conversations
even arguments it's never okay to to do to behave

(20:04):
you know in this manner in front of
your little ones and this is a little way bless our heart i
think i think everybody could have handled this differently you got
the camera out you hollering and screaming cutting hair it's just
a lot i think it could have been handled a lot better
and everybody could have got their point across and everybody could have got
an understanding if everybody was willing to understand and here's the thing

(20:26):
if you're not willing that's when that court thing come back in okay we need
some intervention because obviously we don't know my head so what's the rules
here and then you follow the rules but bless this baby heart don't,
don't don't put y'all kids in the middle of this like this.
Stop putting your kids in the middle of your mess. You don't have to do that.

(20:49):
They don't have to witness every single disagreement that you have.
They don't really have to witness any of them.
They're innocent in all of this. They didn't ask to be here.
They deserve a relationship with both parents where it's possible.
And where it is possible, the parents should try to foster it,
even if you don't get along.
The child should know, okay, they got enough respect for each other. You know, I love my mom.

(21:11):
I love my dad. I don't want to see them doing this to each other.
As much as you can help with them, we're all human, right?
I just, I really feel like this could have been avoided. Stop,
stop doing all this in front of your kids. It's not cute or no nothing.
At all.
Thank you for tuning in to the MC That Child podcast. Drop a comment below on

(21:35):
what was your favorite part of the episode.
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And if you don't remember anything else, I'll leave you with this. Let him see that child.