EP 003: Making Sense of Femininity & Understanding Women

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Coming up on the Stephand Jamie podcast...
There's so much power in femininity.
The masculine energy is a wayof being the feminine energy
is a way of being our minds.
As women go 24- 7, they don't stop.
She's looking for something to grab onto,and if you are not there to grab onto.
She's going to drown, literallydrown in her own thoughts.

(00:20):
During that time of beingonline, I was putting a lot out,
but wasn't putting enough in.
And so my love cup for myself got low.
Women will always have a harder timewith their self confidence than what
men will be, for this exact reason.
Yeah.
If I don't look like a fi My mind hasbeen tricked into thinking that a filtered
face is a normal looking face becausethey all look like that some would say

(00:44):
you're a part of it as well i'd probablysay i'm a part of it and many would be
very surprised to hear that even youbeing in your position with your millions
of followers i even still feel that wayoh my gosh I did not call you crazy.
You call me crazy all the time.
But you know what?
Men love our crazy.
Like we, we don't get onall the time, clearly.
Like we have, just to put that out there.

(01:06):
Like we, we have conflict.
And that's part of the, youknow, the beautiful act of us.
Balancing, and us having thisdance together, where the masculine
and the feminine interact andcreate this beautiful harmony.
And you want to be in a relationship thatbrings out the best in you, in each other.
Yeah, it's pretty amazing.
Powerful, huh?
Welcome to Life In Depth,with Steph and Jamie.

(01:30):
Learn what she's feeling,and what he's thinking.
So welcome back to another episodeof Life In Depth, with Stephanie.
Jamie.
Jamie, that is me.
Oh sorry, you're supposedto introduce yourself.
That's okay, you can introduce me.
This is Jamie.
This is Jamie.
And, Stephanie?
Yes.
How are you going?

(01:50):
Good.
I'm on my third coffee,and I'm ready to roll.
You're on your third coffee.
This is our third interview.
Episode 2.
And your third, that's exactlywhat I was about to say, the third
episode with the third coffee.
Do you know what else?
What?
My favourite number is?
Three.
You said, you weresecond guessing yourself.
Yeah, no, you put me on thespot, I'm like, oh crap.
Yeah, it's three.
Three.

(02:10):
How eerie.
It is eerie.
So episode number three, welcome,welcome to anyone that is just
joining us for the very first time.
We appreciate you being here.
As we just mentioned, thisis episode number three.
So if you haven't seen one andtwo, make sure you go and do that.
In episode one, we covereda little bit about ourself.
Episode two, we introduced the conceptof the masculine and the feminine

(02:33):
dynamic in relationships, which wasan interesting one to explore and
something that I think we were planningon elaborating a little bit further.
In today, because you made a promise atthe end of that second episode, which
is to try and explain a little bit moreabout the Specifically, the dynamic of
the feminine, how that relates in yourlife, and hopefully people listening

(02:56):
can get a better understanding of howthat can relate to them if they are a
woman, and help men better understandwomen, because guys have a very
difficult time understanding women.
It very much seems.
Yes.
In fact, there was a movie on theother day, um, what was it called?
I was talking about the onefrom like years ago, yeah,
yeah, yeah, old, old school one.

(03:16):
Yeah, yeah, with, um, Mel Gibson in it.
Where he starts hearing, what women want,where he starts hearing what's out, what
women think, which is an interestingmovie to watch if you haven't watched it.
I'd never watched it properly and Igot right into it by the end of it.
Yeah.
But he, uh, yeah, it was interestingbecause he got bombarded with thoughts
and as a guy, He wasn't quite equippedto deal with that, which maybe is an

(03:39):
interesting place to start because evenin the car when we're driving here,
my goodness, there was idea one, ideatwo, idea three, boom, boom, boom.
And it was very difficult to keep up.
And I said, are you okay?
And what did you say?
I can't remember.
But all I do know is that ourminds as women, they're Go 24 7.

(04:03):
They don't stop ideas,thoughts, stresses, like.
emotional energy, everything.
Now I can't speak on all women.
I know that we've, I've made a few, um,claims, claims in this podcast for women.
And I've had a bit of feedbackon the posts that one, one
in particular, one claim inparticular, which we should visit.

(04:25):
I think you said it in the Second podcast.
Here's what she said.
What I think a lot of men don'trealize and women will vouch for me.
We don't actually say what we mean.
We say what we feel.
Mic drop.
That's a very difficult thing fora lot of guys to comprehend because

(04:46):
we hear what you say, and thenwe think that's what you mean.
Where basically you said thatwomen tend to speak with emotion.
They say what they feel.
Not what they mean.
To elaborate on that further, for thosethat misinterpreted that, because you
were basically just trying to say thatyou speak or are led with emotion,
whereas men are generally led withlogic in the way that they communicate.

(05:08):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which to me doesn't sound that barbaric.
No, I know.
But people took great offence.
I think because people takeeverything so literally, and it's,
it was more so a generalisation of,we speak with more emotion, like.
As a scenario right now, imagineI was like, really frustrated

(05:31):
for the day and you were there.
Some of the house jobs that arenormally there, that I'd probably
normally do, didn't get done, butfor some reason in that day, I
was like, you just don't help me.
Like, what are you doing?
And maybe in that moment,it may feel, make you feel
like, you know, she hates me.
She just thinks I'm pathetic and lazy.

(05:53):
But we're in that moment just spewingout emotion of how we feel dependent
on the situation that's happenedin that day or there on the spot.
So it's, it's not, I generalize whenI say it, because I know for myself,
that's why I say I always speak on mybehalf of myself and some women, maybe
other women might not be like that, butthe women I know and You know, from what

(06:16):
I've heard and, you know, situationsand stories, it's all kind of the same.
We all say the same thing.
I'm, I'm going to go ahead and bepolitically incorrect and give you
permission to say that generalizing onthis particular podcast and the way that
we're going to talk, I think is okay.
And it's funny, the people that refuseto maybe accept those generalizations,

(06:38):
and of course there's going to beexceptions to every rule, but when
you've been in a long term relationships,you find that there are universal
truths about both men and women.
Yeah, and it's very similar.
And the people that often willdeny those facts are usually people
that are single or have a verydifficult time in relationships.
So, we don't know everything.

(06:59):
I'll put that out there from the start.
But we have definitely learned a lotabout this being together nearly nine
years now, uh, and I have experienced alot of pain with this subject, with the
whole concept of trying to understandhow men and women work together and
how they can work together in harmony.
Because after that long, nearly a decade,it gets, it gets more challenging.

(07:22):
That's for sure.
And I think there are definitely universaltruths, which if you don't Don't move.
Don't move.
It's very difficult, especiallywhen I'm getting my hands going.
I'm like, so still right nowbecause I don't want to make any
like, squeaky noise or fart noises.

(07:43):
Well, you know, you hear stuffand people are like, was that you?
It's like, no, it was the chair.
And you're like, yeah, sure.
It's like, seriously.
No, but I hear what you're saying.
What am I saying?
I don't know.
I got put off by the chair,but Sounds about right.
See, this is the feminine in action.
Going back to Multi direction.
Yeah, going back.
Yes.

(08:04):
With the crazy right now.
Oh, that's what we getlabeled, by the way, crazy.
Mm hmm.
Uh Touchy subject.
It's not, because I know we are.
But Whoa.
Now who's making generalizations?
Ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha.
When I say crazy, notput into hospital crazy.
I mean, like, we're so creative and, uh,full of energy and excited about things

(08:29):
that it can come off as full on and crazy.
Uh, and I also think that the waywe Project how we feel and maybe
act can come off crazy as well.
Can I just say from a guy's pointof view, like many, uh, emotionally
immature men that are in the firing line.

(08:53):
of the chaotic mind of the feminine.
And when I say chaotic mind of thefeminine, I just mean that we'll touch
on this a little bit in a moment, butthe feminine energy is very chaotic.
As you said, it's free flowing.
It's multi, it's multi directional, right?
Whereas the, the masculinemind, the masculine way of
doing things is directional.

(09:13):
It's the opposite of that.
So men have a very difficulttime understanding the multi
directional nature of the feminine.
But for the immature men thatoften say, Well, she's crazy.
I'm going to go ahead and say, It'salso very exciting and very enticing.
And I don't know what I would dowithout that level of excitement.

(09:35):
and spontaneity in my life that you bring.
I'm going to remind you of this whenyou call me crazy again, like last week.
I did not call you crazy.
You call me crazy all the time.
You're like, you're so crazy, hun.
Yeah, well, that must have been whenyou were acting very But you know what?
Men love our crazy.
Well, that's, that's whatI'm trying to allude to.
Otherwise life would be boring.
Correct.
Like they, I don't like speaking formen, but I'm going to go by what I've

(10:00):
learned and also what I've learned.
you have experienced and told me.
So I'm going to be verycareful how I say this.
Men love it when you makethem feel a little bit like,
Oh no, I've really scared.
Why do I feel scared to talk?

(10:20):
Because this is a very touchy subject.
This is really hard for me.
Like being, I will comeback to that thought.
So make sure you hold it for mebecause I'll forget, but I feel like.
Being a personality on social mediawith no voice is very intimidating for
me to speak Because I care too muchabout what people think about me and

(10:43):
that's actually something I'm workingon for my own personal development But
I feel I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I think that's the saying so I Iget infiltrated And that's something
that never used to affect me at all.

(11:04):
But to be fair, you've neverdealt with it to the degree in
which you're dealing with it now.
Yeah.
And that's why I'm saying it neverused to harm me as much back then
when I was kind of fresh into it all.
I was like, I don't care what you think.
I'm having fun.
But the longer you do it, you find.
yourself more vulnerableto people's opinions.

(11:27):
Because you want to keep people happy.
Like, I want to keep peoplehappy and comfortable.
I don't want people to feel bad whenthey watch my things online, like
the training or the way that I look.
It's not my intention to ever put,make people feel in a negative way.
So sometimes I'll manipulatemyself to keep everybody happy.
Maybe it's the way that Idress, the way that I look.

(11:48):
And that has only causedme more self harm.
In the way I feel about myself.
Because now I'm like, who am I?
What, like, I don't evenlike myself anymore.
That's a whole nother podcast, by the way.
And I think a lot of peoplewho are present on social media
can relate from what I've read.

(12:09):
The other influences, I guess,who put themselves out there
or doing training or whatever.
It is that you do on social media,but being an online presence can
provide many great opportunities,but at the same time can create a
lot of disharmony within yourself.
And I, I feel like for me, it's,I haven't, during that time of

(12:30):
being online, I was putting a lotout, but wasn't putting enough in.
And so my love cup for myself, Andthat's something I'm working on.
And maybe that's why I fearsitting here today and speaking,
because I'm crippled by fear ofwhat people will think about me.
Like, what if they don't like me?

(12:50):
What if they think I'm just dumbor have nothing good to say?
And what if I say something politicallyincorrect because I'm so free
flowing in the way that I speak?
I'm here to speak, that maybe I don'tsit and think and articulate properly
before it comes out of my mouthand then I get myself in trouble.
So yeah, I, it's, it's a lot forme to sit here and put a voice.

(13:13):
To my, I guess, name or body,because I train, um, it's a lot
and it, it, I was even crippledwith fear coming on here today.
Some days are worse than others,but today for some reason I was
like, I don't have it in me.
You said, you said that maybethis is a whole nother episode.
I would disagree with that becausewe are seeing the feminine energy.

(13:35):
Feeling.
In real life.
Right now.
Feeling it.
It's all coming out.
Fear.
Can I interrupt for one second though?
Yeah.
You're a little zippy.
As a siffy.
Can you get him down?
There he goes.
My zips are always coming undone.
And people think it's on purpose.
It's really not.
It's just so well endowed.
What you're saying is, um, Um, I thinka lot of people, both men and women, but

(14:00):
women especially, will relate to, giventhe nature now of social media, where
we're talking about it in the car andthe pressures that women now face with
filters, with societal expectations.
Oh my gosh, yes, I was sayingthis in the car in between all
the other stuff I was saying.
I was like, it's so unfair.
And I was really thinking of mydaughter as well when I was speaking
to you about this, just for thefact that you go online and you're

(14:23):
presented with fakery everywhere.
Yes, sorry.
You know, like, girls.
That are on there, thatdon't even look like that.
They're heavily filtered, bodies aremanipulated, perfect lighting, whatever.
And they don't exist.
And so for, I'm going to speak so likehonestly right now, and I like look

(14:45):
at that all day because my job beingonline, it's just in front of me all day.
Some would say you'rea part of it as well.
I probably say I'm a part of it.
And many would be very surprisedto hear that even you being in your
position with your millions of.
I know you hate that term.
Yeah.
Uh, even still feel that way.
Oh my gosh, totally.

(15:05):
If I don't look like a, my mind hasbeen tricked into thinking that a
filtered face is a normal lookingface because they all look like that.
So that must be what I'msupposed to look like.
And I know that sounds so stupidand I know that women listening
today could actually really resonatewith that because it's all you see.
So then you start to think thatthere's a problem with me, like

(15:26):
there's something wrong with me andnow I need to go get filler, this,
that, Botox, whatever to fix that.
Something in myself, becausewhat I'm seeing doesn't look
right when I see myself.
So I, um, yeah, I was just thinking aboutthat today cause I feel the pressure
from that too, especially aging as well.
Like we're all aging, you know, I'mlooking very different to what I was when

(15:49):
I was 25, when I was 18, like we're all,
It's very funny how thesocietal expectations around
women and ageing as well.
They do not accept it.
Yeah, it's very, it'svery heavily criticised.
It's awful.
I'll read stuff about myselfsaying like, you look 50 or
like this chick, how old is she?

(16:09):
Like, it's a bit, she's abit old to be doing this.
Like, it hurts.
It's hard for me to accept myselfaging because I'm told it's wrong.
And I read things aboutcelebrities as well.
When I'm just like in the Instagramfeed and I get, well, these celebrities
are in my feed for some reason, maybecause I don't know, maybe I click on
it too much, but, um, it will be thingslike Angelina Jolie or like Britney

(16:33):
Spears or something about the waythat they look, what happened to her?
What, why does she look like this?
Oh my gosh, she's aged so much.
And it's like, people don't accept it.
And they make people feel bad.
For it, even though it's a normalpart of life, and we should be able
to age gracefully and accept and loveourselves in the process of that,

(16:53):
but we're told by society, you can't.
Don't love yourself for being old, youlook ragged, you know, and then if you get
work done, it's like, she's had work done.
She's got, what has she done to herself?
It's like, you can't win.
Like you literally can't win.
And it's the most frustrating thing.
And that's why it goes backto working on yourself.
Because if you don't do that innerwork, you can really get lost in it

(17:15):
and become really depressed, depressedon yourself, miserable to be around.
And I can speak on thisbecause I've struggled with it.
And people would think, well,why would that happen to you?
You have no idea.
Yeah, it doesn't get easier.
If anything, it would get harder.
The more you are actuallyin the spotlight, the more
criticism you have to face.
Exactly.

(17:35):
I think, yeah, thatdefinitely makes it worse.
But then it goes backto my daughter as well.
It's like, if I'm feelinglike this, how does she feel?
How does she feel growing uphaving to see that and think
that that's The norm, you know.
Can I just say something, because Ican already hear the comments of what

(17:56):
people are going to say about that.
They're going to say Which part?
To everything that you'rejust saying, right?
There's always people, wheneveryou open up like this, that
say, just don't read it.
Just don't worry about what people say.
Like, it's so fucking easy.
It's not easy.
It used to be, but now it's not.
Well, yeah, again, when you've gothundreds of people every day commenting,

(18:19):
messaging, it definitely gets harder.
But the people that say, just don't look,it's just, you know, don't worry about it.
There's something wrong with you.
No, as, as we're about to talk aboutthis, this is the feminine in action.
So the people that say,just don't worry about it.
What is that?
Is that a multidirectionalthought or a directional thought?
Just don't worry directional.
Yeah, that's a very masculineapproach to a feminized problem

(18:41):
Yeah, a very feminine woman is alwaysgoing to think multi directional.
She's always going to be looking inevery which way and absorbing emotions
and things from every And we're goingto talk about this in more detail.

(19:02):
Um, um, That is not an insecurity.
That's the beautiful part of the feminine,that she wants everyone around her to be
okay, but it can be a real detriment whenshe's absorbing it and thinking or taking
it on as there's something wrong with me.
It's so hard not to absorb.

(19:23):
Very.
Like, haha.
And this, this is also why, like,generally speaking, like, women
will always have a harder time withtheir self confidence than what
men will be for this exact reason.
Yeah.
And I empathize with you and with women.
I can only imagine how difficult.
It would be.
It's, yeah, it's from the waythat we look, our bodies, what
we eat, how we project ourselves.

(19:44):
It's like everything.
And I know that men havetheir struggles too.
It's not easy for them.
But yeah, I just feel like sometimeswe've got to work, we've got to
provide, we've got to give birth.
We've got to look good.
We've got to lose the weight.
We've got to not age.
And it's just like, I just want to rest.
But I know like it just comesback to one thing at the end of

(20:05):
the day and you cannot control.
The noise around you andmaybe what people say, but.
You can control you and you cancontrol how much you feed your soul
and your spirit and That will allcome back to femininity, I guess

(20:25):
which is what we're talking abouttoday, and it's not just femininity
I think men need to do that too.
Not I think I know Men needto feed themselves as well.
Yeah, that's an important,that's an important point.
I'm not talking about a big steak.
I'm talking about, emotionally.
So something you, somethingthat you've continually
referred to is doing inner work.
So for those that didn't watchthe second episode of this

(20:49):
podcast, stop and go and watch it.
But to elaborate a little bit onwhat we spoke about, we spoke about
how feminine and masculine, um,The feminine and the masculine is
nothing other than energy, right?
So people often misdefine theseconcepts as, well, man and woman.
No, it's not man and woman.
The masculine energy is a way of being.
The feminine energy is a way of being.

(21:11):
I, as a male, have bothmasculine and feminine qualities.
Steph, as a female, has bothmasculine and feminine qualities.
But the way in which we are built,we inherently lean And from our
personal experience, the more thatwe lean to the opposite way of our
biology, the more out of touch we feel.
I know that's been very true for myself.

(21:32):
When I've leaned too much into myfeminine, I have felt so lost and
so down on myself and confusedabout who I am and what I stand for.
And I know the same is true for you.
The more that you've swunginto your masculine by whatever
circumstances have caused that.
How has it made you feel?

(21:53):
Yeah, bitter at you.
I know that sounds really abrupt, butI have a belief from what I know about
men and women and also how I was raised.
that the man is supposed toprovide, make the woman feel safe.
We touched on this in our last podcast.
Um, there's certain roles that Ibelieve personally a man should play.

(22:16):
And so I guess when I get intomy masculine state, And then I
question myself and I'm like,why am I being like this?
Cause when I'm alone and I'm processing,I like, I really get in my own head and
I have a conversation with myself andit sounds so stupid, but I'm like, why
am I feeling so scared in this area?
And so then I'll come back to youand I'll be like, I feel like, you

(22:37):
know, you need to be working on this.
And this is where the nagging comes in.
It seems like nagging, or maybeyou may take it on as criticism
because we also spoke about this inthe last podcast, but I feel like
I'm relaying back to that a lot.
You might come across me sayingthose things as attacking.
Is that right?
Like if I come at you and I'm like,I've got this problem because I've

(22:59):
had a self conversation with myselfand I've discovered I've got a problem
that feeds into our relationship thatI believe needs to change and then I
come at to you with that problem, Iknow that your walls go straight up
depending on how I, depending on how youcommunicate it, which again, yes, you,
you said something Interesting, again.
He's saying lots of interesting things.

(23:20):
You're not even into my coffee yet.
I think before we get too far into it, ifwe briefly, we keep touching on the last
episode, as a, as a quick recap, right?
The masculine energy is anything doing.
Think action, thinklogic, think directional.
The feminine energy is, as Isaid before, multi directional.

(23:41):
It's emotive.
It's feeling.
Now, me, lifting weights, forexample, is a masculine act.
Steph lifts weights.
She doesn't It's also a masculine act.
She does a masculine act.
It doesn't mean that she is a guy.
It doesn't mean that there'sanything wrong with that.
It just means that she's goingto ignite that energy into her.
Yeah.
Right?

(24:01):
Now, let's say Steph dances,which I know you like to do.
I did that today in between my sets.
Which is so interesting.
Even in the middle of the masculineact, you want it to be free flowing
and ignite the feminine and bringyou back to There was a good beat on.
I was just like, rolling, jamming.
I'm like, this is it.
So In my motion.
So the feminine feels the masculine acts.

(24:23):
These are, these are these twoenergies, very common in Chinese
medicine, like the yin and the yang.
And I think a big part of itis balancing these things.
Right, but inherently we're going tonaturally lean one way and typically
speaking for most people they lean in theway that their biology Has been created
so I'm inherently going to be want tobe more masculine and when I fit into

(24:43):
that energy more I feel more like myselfVice versa is true for surf when she's
able to sit in her feminine She feelsmore like herself or a better version
of herself Yeah now you said before itgets a little bit frustrating if you get
stressed and You There's a problem, andsometimes that makes you bitter at me if
I haven't already solved that problem.

(25:04):
Yeah.
Right?
And let's just say, notjust one problem, but a few.
Most problems.
Just like, floating around that justnever get fixed, and then I'm just
like, Which is very difficult, verydifficult as a very feminine woman.
Uh, because as we said, the multidirectional thoughts, there's
many, many problems to be fixed.

(25:27):
Which makes it hard to keep up.
Well, keep up, it's your job.
And I think, I think that's aninteresting, uh, thing for men to consider
because men, men often think like, well,once I tick this box or once I solve this
problem, then everything will be okay.
And not often how it works, right?
Not often how it works.
There's always somethingelse that's going on.

(25:49):
And there's always an inherent desirefor the woman to want the man to be
there to be able to not only protectand provide, but to be able to solve
any problems that might arise so thatshe can sit more in her feminine.
So that she can get back tofeeling free flowing and okay.
Because that's how she feels like herself.
And it's interesting, like, when aman is actually in his masculine, he

(26:12):
feels good about fixing the problems,very good about fixing the problems.
He likes to be a problem solver, right?
I'll give some context for womenout there in relationships, and you
can, you can vouch for me on this.
The way in which youcommunicate with men matters.

(26:35):
It totally matters.
I've been pulled up by you about this.
Okay, so what have Itaught you, Stephanie?
Tell me.
Well, sometimes I'll come to you andI've been in the glory of my headspace,
where it's just going crazy likenormal, and I just want to get it out.
So I'm just saying it as it's coming down.

(26:56):
You're venting.
And processing.
Which, by the way, women, Mendo not know how to understand
or how to interpret venting.
Yep.
At all.
Yep.
They think whatever you are ventingand all of those things that you are
saying is true and is fact and theycannot keep you something though?
Which goes back to what you said in thatfirst, what we were talking about before.
Can I tell you something?

(27:16):
Yeah, go.
When women vent, wejust want to get it out.
We don't want you to fix it.
We just want you to listen.
In fact, if you try and fix our ventand say, well, why don't you do this?
And I know, why don't we do that?
It's like, we don't know.

(27:37):
We don't want, we don't want to fix it.
We just want to let you know about it.
So, it's off our mind.
I'll, I'll speak for men herebecause they don't understand that.
They don't get it.
But have they noticed that whenthey try and fix it, it gets worse?
No, but I'll, alright, I'llput forward a theory to you
because I would call BS on that.

(27:59):
You do want something fixed.
Not in that moment.
No.
Let me finish.
You do want something fixed, butit's rarely what you're venting.
Like, men, they need to understandthat something needs to happen.
Because if you tell them, youknow, just don't do anything.
Just sit there.
They sit there like And they have,they, they don't understand it.

(28:21):
No, interact with it.
Um, okay.
Uh huh.
Yeah, that's fine.
That's why we know you're listening.
But something, something needs to bedone because that's what men understand.
Men understand that a course of action,they need to be put on a mission and
to just sit there, they don't get it.
So I will try and explain itand you tell me if I'm wrong.
When you're venting, you'll probablytalk about five, six, however many things
that will be going all over the place.

(28:42):
Yeah.
It's my job as the man, job, action.
The problem that I need to solvein that scenario is to hear you.
Sit there, listen, do my best tounderstand what it is that you're
feeling, and most importantly, absorbwhat you are trying to get off.
That's my job in that scenario.
To catch your emotion, to absorb it,and hopefully to just throw it away.

(29:06):
That's the job.
But truthfully, sometimes there'snot always a real problem in there.
Correct.
That's what I'm saying.
Absorb it and throw it away.
Yeah.
Sometimes you don't knowhow to throw it away.
Correct.
Sometimes you absorb and then comeback later and then come at me with it.
And I'm like, what are you talking about?
And then you're like,what you said before.
I'm like, what did I say?
Again, we, we spoke about that lasttime in the previous episode, and it

(29:29):
becomes very difficult, especially ifa man is feeling insecure, uh, to hear.
Venting words, especially of thoseventing words is frustration towards him.
Very difficult for him.
If he's in an emotional state andnot in his primary masculine energy,
he will inherently take that onboardand not be able to throw it away.

(29:51):
He'll absorb it and he'll feelhorrible about himself and maybe
in a situation where there mightbe conflict in the relationship.
He will think, oh jeez, like,I'm doing all of these things
wrong, she's just told me.
When so often, so often, that's notactually what you were saying before,
it's not actually what you mean, you'rejust trying to, you're feeling all
of these things in action and tryingto get it off, and yes, it can be

(30:14):
very problematic if the guy actuallydoes absorb all of those things.
I think like, uh, for guys in longterm relationships, one thing that
has helped me is that, you know,when you're in that state and, you
know, venting off things and maybeyou're frustrated about something,
it's always good to remind yourselfthat, you know, she's still with you.

(30:37):
She's here.
She's in this.
Even though she might befrustrated, she's invested in you.
She hasn't left, she's here,therefore she must love you.
Is this going back to not seekingevidence but seeking facts?
Yeah, good point.
Yeah.
So the evidence, if I was in anemotional state, might be you know,

(30:59):
she said this, maybe that's true, youknow, maybe I've done this wrong, maybe
I've, you know, screwed up too much.
Where the facts is, she's here.
She's not going.
She says that she loves you whenshe's in her, you know, when she's in
her feminine and she's not stressed.
And that should alwaysbe something to lean on.

(31:21):
And when it comes to that emotionalmaturity that we spoke about in the last
episode, as the guy, it is so criticaland important to be able to sit there
and just to do your best to be the rock.
Like there's no better analogy.
Like you got to think about thefeminine and the way that they act.
We talked about the multidirectional thoughts, like she's

(31:43):
looking for something to grab onto.
And if you're not there to grab onto.
You know, she's gonna drown,literally drown in her own thoughts.
And this is why it's so importantwhere we need each other.
Because again, we spoke about itbefore, my life would be incredibly
boring without you around.
How so, James?

(32:03):
Tell them all that I'm notjust a royal pain in your arse.
Well, what would I do?
I'd just sit around work all day.
Um, I wouldn't have muchspontaneity in my life.
I'd be seeking, um, thrill andexcitement elsewhere where I shouldn't
be, whereas I'd rather share thatand experience that with you.
So you like it when I bounce intothe office and I'm just like, hello.
Of course, of course.

(32:24):
Sometimes I bounce in, I'mlike, I'm going to play.
Now's not the time, Stephanie.
Which again, interesting concepts,because there are some times where
I'm so fixated on work, typing away atthat computer, you might come in and
for a second I might think, come on.
Sometimes I feel that.
Yeah.
That's mean.
I see, I'm like, he doesn't like me.
But this, this is the thing.

(32:44):
So there are both positives and negativesto the masculine and the feminine.
There is not one that issuperior to the other.
We both as men and womenneed these qualities.
So if I was too far into my masculine.
Too far into solving problems, acting,acting, acting, and only ever doing,
rather than feeling, I'm going to be offcenter, I'm going to be out of balance.
And when you would, in that scenario,come in and want to play, very feminine

(33:08):
act, you've always, you've always so farin my masculine I need bunny ears, right?
Yeah.
Ha ha ha.
If I was so far in my masculine thatI rejected you, then what type of
relationship can I expect to have?
And also, what type oflife can I expect to have?
I want to have fun.
I don't just want to work.
I'm not a slave, althoughI do enjoy working.
But there has to be a time wherewe can, where we can switch.

(33:28):
And that's part of the, you know,the beautiful act of us balancing
and us having this dance together.
Where the masculine and thefeminine interact and create
this beautiful harmony.
It's funny when I'm workingand you come in, I'm like, I'm
like, you just want to cuddle.
I'm like nearly done because I just hadthe anxiety of just trying to get it done.
I can't just stop likeonce I'm in my role.
And see, so if we elaborate on that,so you enjoy it and in fact you find

(33:55):
it attractive when I can be directionaland I can be leading and I can be
out conquering doing something.
As the masculine, when you do the samething, which is what you were just talking
about, when you're trying to get somethingdone and you're so fixated in that task
that you don't have time to, you know,connect and let's say play with me.

(34:18):
I don't actually, that doesn'tdraw me closer to you and make me
think, whoa, she's got it going on.
I never once look at you fiercelyvacuuming in frustration and
think to myself, gee, she's hot.
What if I was in a Keeney?
See, this again, this is the funnything about, we'll go back to it
because there's so much confusion on it.

(34:40):
People like might think, hear that taskof vacuuming the house, cleaning, and
they might associate that with femininity.
That's not, this is not stereotypicalroles of, you know, men and women
because even vacuuming or cleaningis inherently a masculine act.
You're acting, you're doing.
But what if you were vacuuming andwhile you were vacuuming, you were

(35:01):
singing, and you were moving, andfree flowing, and you're enjoying
yourself while you're doing it.
All of a sudden, you just gota whole lot hotter, in my eyes.
I don't enjoy vacuuming at all.
But when you're in that state At all.
When you're in Cat hair everywhere.
As a, as a, as a general tip for women andhow men relate and are attracted to women.

(35:24):
And you can speak on this for womentowards men, but I know that there
is always, like, if I was to lookat you, you could be looking exactly
the same, has nothing to do withyour outfit, has nothing to do with
the way that you did your hair,the way that you did your makeup.
I take Stephanie, one who's vacuumingferociously, and trying to get it
done, and huffing and puffing andfrustrated, versus Stephanie that

(35:45):
looks exactly the same, that'svacuuming and singing and moving.
And having a good old time, I'm, Iam drawn, like I am drawn to that
Stephanie, like every day of the week,like there is, there is such power.
There is such powerful womenin the feminine, if they can

(36:07):
embrace that and embody that.
And I understand it's not easy.
Like I, I genuinely understand.
We live in a world that makes thatvery difficult, not easy for guys too.
Many guys get stuck.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm listening.
I was actually thinkingof a thought though.
What thought?
Um, and I was just like smirking tomyself thinking about it when you said

(36:30):
there's so much power in femininity.
Yeah.
And I was like, yeah, that's true.
Cause I can get out of a fightreally easy with you and I.
Of course.
Like, you, like, I just have to, like,talk in a certain way or flick my hair in
a certain way or do something and you'relike, Oh, it's hard to be mad at you.
And do you know what's funny?
The same is true for me.

(36:50):
See, if you, if we're in a fight andwe have conflict and you come to me
and you're like, well, you know, thishas happened and you've done this.
If I was in my feelings and I was like,well, don't say that you did this and
threw something back to you becauseof emotional immaturity or if I was
out of state with my, with my Yeah,I don't like it when you do that.
Like, pull up somethingelse and be like, whoa.

(37:19):
Heard whatever it is that you weregoing, was willing to sit there, listen,
and absorb, and throw away, and thenact accordingly, follow up with the
masculine, and take action based onthe problem that you inherently have,
then how long's that fight gonna last?
Like, we, we both have this power, and Ithink when we, when we get out of balance,

(37:40):
and it can happen to both men and women.
Can I, can I share witheveryone something that you do?
Uh oh.
Like your secret.
Share it.
Share it.
Share it.
Swig the coffee, get it down.
What is it?
How much have you got left?
Are you done?
Not much.
It's going cold.
You love it cold.
I like mine really hot.
And he likes, he's like,like warm, like dirty water.
Cause I'm warm blooded.

(38:00):
Just so opposite.
Anyway.
Oh no.
Uh oh.
I had it.
Come on.
Oh no, no, no.
There it is.
So no one else wrote in the commentslast time about getting me some
type of, Happy peel up here.
Because we haven't posted that one yet.
Oh, okay.
We've only posted episode one so far.

(38:23):
Maybe those comments will come.
We'll find out.
Oh, it hurts to smile.
Okay, so there's somethingthat you do to me.
Is it a good thing or a bad thing?
It's annoying.
Uh oh.
But you do it to me.
Uh oh.
When we're in a fight.
Ah.
Yeah.
I think I know.
Yeah.
What is it?

(38:44):
Are we doing What are you thinking?
I think I asked you to do something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's not what you think.
Because that doesn'tbenefit me in a fight.
Um, no, you make me look, like you'llgrab my head, because I won't look at you.
When we're in a fight, I look the otherway, I don't want to look at you, but
you grab my head and you're like, okay,I know we're in a fight, and I know
that you don't love me right now, butyou're like, but look into my eyes.

(39:09):
And then you make me look into your eyes.
And why do you do that, Jamie?
Because it ignites the feminine.
It ignites the feminineenergy and it makes you feel.
It can, reconnects our souls.
Because I, we, we, and maybe this, maybethis won't work for all couples, but it's
an interesting test, if you do have a,strong, soulful, spiritual connection.

(39:33):
When you look in each other's eyes,it's very hard to stay mad, or at
least I find it very hard to stay madat you when I stare into your eyes.
Are you going to cry?
I could.
Don't cry.
I could.
Because I, I really love you.
And when I look into youreyes, I, I feel that.
Like, I genuinely feel that.
Which is, which might be chilling.
Like, this is my, my feminine coming out.

(39:55):
Like, I, I'm verycomfortable in saying that.
I have strong feminine qualities as a guy.
So I'm, I'm in no way shaming,you know, men or women for being
more masculine, more feminine.
Again, it's, it's about balance,but I can tap into that and feel a
deep sense of connection with you.
And I'm lucky that we have therelationship that we do, that when you

(40:16):
look at me, it just so happens that youtend to feel the same, or at least you
have so far, because every time thatyou stare back at me, I end up laughing
or something, you end up laughing,it breaks the state and we reconnect.
And it's, it is a little trickif you do have that sort of
connection with your partner.
So yeah, he'll be grabbing my jaw.
I'm like, not today.
Not today.
I want to hold on to it.

(40:37):
Which is, which is, which is interestingbecause even like, um, I remember a
scenario happened the other day whereI was, I was getting carried on.
Like we, we don't get onall the time, clearly.
Just to put that out there.
Like we, we have conflict.
By the way, which youguys probably don't know.
Sorry to interrupt.
But we spend 24 7 together.

(40:58):
Yes, we do.
Like, you've got a couple.
Work together, live together.
Maybe the couple goes off and doesseparate work jobs, I don't know, and
then they come back and maybe have awine together at night time and watch
some TV and talk about their day.
That's not us.
We wake up together, sleep together,raise kids together, work together,
go to appointments together, podcasttogether, like, together 24 7.

(41:19):
I would say we probably havean hour and a half, if that,
away from each other per day.
Not long.
And like, so we have had to learnhow to deal with each other.
We're not like trying to dish outall of this information and say
that we've got, all the answers.
We're just going by our own experiencesand things that we've learned,
funny things, maybe things that arerelevant or not relevant at all.

(41:42):
But yes, we have been forced to face thesethings head on, whether we like it or not.
And these have been our findings,which is what we're trying to share.
And hopefully you canbenefit from our learnings.
Or keep dishing out the hate when youdon't like what we say, which has been
happening on socials a little bit.
What were you saying?
You were mid sentence.
I think I interrupted youand I think you're lost now.

(42:03):
Oh, we were talking aboutlooking into each other's eyes
during a point of conflict.
Oh, you were saying that itmight not work for some people
and it might work for others.
What if it doesn't work?
And you try that trick.
If it doesn't work then you should be verywary that your relationship is in trouble.
Really?

(42:23):
That's a bold statement.
I would say so.
I know that this is something that'sused with intimacy coaches and
psychologists is to like I think Isaw it on Married at First Sight once.
Yeah, yeah.
So it's like, stare at your partnerlovingly, stare into their soul for three
to five minutes, put a clock on and do it.
Now if you do that and feelingsdon't arise, there's a big problem,

(42:47):
like a big problem and you weigh theneed to act fast in repairing that.
Or maybe start asking yourself,is this the right situation
or the right person for me?
I could Resentfulness.
Of course.
Block that energy through the eyes.
I think if someone was so far out oftune with themselves and they were so

(43:10):
closed off with their feelings that theywere just fixated on, I want better,
I want to go and act differently withsomeone else, or this person is not
meeting any of my needs and they'renot actually in their feelings, then
that person has a lot of work to do,not only in the relationship, but.
in themselves.
And I would almost argue, ifyou're at that point, then

(43:36):
maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship.
Maybe there's a lot of self workthat needs to happen before you
should put someone else through whatit is that you're going through.
And unless you can come clean tothat person and open up and say, hey,
I'm really disconnected here, andI'm really struggling, and have that
level of self awareness, then maybeyou are going to hurt that person.
I feel for that person.
Yeah.

(43:56):
I feel for both parties.
Like that's a horrible situationto be in for the person that
doesn't feel because they've got,like, they're very disconnected.
Yeah.
And a horrible situation for theperson on the receiving end of that.
Yeah.
Sometimes I feel like individuals in arelationship before they even started
and before they actually got with theperson in question, I feel like there

(44:19):
are just people that are disconnected.
and have never been ableto connect like that.
And they may be with a person now,and they're having a relationship
in the way that they only know.
And they might not have that deepconnection because they've never
actually experienced it before.
So they don't know whatthey're looking for.
That's a very good subject for anotherepisode, I think, because people

(44:42):
don't often, people these days,it seems like even how many people
are just meeting on Tinder, right?
Like this virtual experience oflike swipe on someone that you find
physically attractive, but have no Yeah.
Based on the physical, based onlust, based on a, literally a
physiological desire of that person.

(45:02):
rather than an emotional or spiritualconnection with that person.
And if you lean too much intothe physical, you're only ever
going to be focused on that.
And when push comes to shove,after you've been together for
many years, all of a sudden thephysical becomes somewhat redundant.
Like, you're then left with thatperson, and you're forced to deal
with their emotionality, theirpsychology, and Their spirituality.

(45:24):
And in that situation, if youhaven't picked that right person,
and you've only picked that personbased on their looks, then you are
going to be in a world of trouble.
That's not how we met,which I'm very grateful for.
Yeah.
Like we had a very deep connectionbefore we even considered any level
of romantic involvement together.

(45:45):
And, yeah, we could doa whole episode on that.
The importance of, Getting to knowsomeone before you share yourself with
that person physically, which happensfar too quickly in today's day and
age, but that's a whole other subject.
Yeah.
Yeah, that is.
Um, sorry, this podcastwas supposed to be about.

(46:12):
Feminine vibes and how to get them.
Tell me, tell me from yourperspective as a woman, how is it
that you are able to tap into thepositive elements of the feminine?
Well, I'm going to be fully honest here.
I wouldn't say that I'man ultra feminine pro.
I know that I'm naturallywithin me feminine.

(46:34):
But the problem is my circumstances ofwhat I've been through in my life and
also maybe what I do for work and alsohaving a business and a whole heap of
other things have, I guess, pushed myultra feminine, which I was born with.
down a little bit.

(46:55):
And so I'm trying to balance thatback up because life does happen.
And you know, some women don'tget the freedom of allowing their
feminine to, what's the word, flow.
Uh, so I've been victim to that manytimes and being with you has also

(47:16):
revealed that to me, that that has beensomething that I have needed to work on.
Um, and I have, but like I said, I justwant to disclaimer say that I'm not.
in no way a feminine pro where Ijust, my energy, that's all I am.
I have some traits.
I have some masculinetraits, which you don't mind.

(47:37):
I'm not saying, we should make itclear that it's not any masculine
trait in a female is unattractive.
I think we have madethat clear, but go ahead.
Go ahead and reclaim it forthe sensitive people out there.
It's not about sensitive.
There are some masculine things thatI do that you kind of appreciate.
Of course.
But you would rather me have morefeminine qualities, of course.

(47:57):
There's, there's the balance.
I don't want you to.
That's what I'm trying to say.
I don't want you just to be thisfree flowing, chaotic, like, here,
there, and everywhere, airy fairy.
You'd be like.
No, that's not, that's notat all what we're saying.
And please, women, if you're listening,this is not like a just, just
only ever feel and don't ever do.
Like, go.
Go make some stuff, go, like, go dosomething great in the world, whatever

(48:20):
that is to you, whatever, you know, goact accordingly to however makes you feel
best, but we're just talking relationally,like the dynamics between men and women
in a heterosexual relationship, like we'realways going to lean, generally speaking,
one way, and then like the attractionbetween each other definitely ignites,

(48:41):
like when I'm more in my masculine andyou're more in your feminine, like we.
we ignite.
Whereas when those energies are flipped,that's when we get into trouble.
Yeah.
And we know when they're flipped.
Um, but yeah, you're right.
Like for me, in the way thatI have learned to feminine up,

(49:01):
I'm really, I really apologize.
I just did it again.
I was going to say, I really apologizefor the way that I pronounce things.
I slur my words.
So sometimes I'll misswords or be like feminine.
Please be patient with me.
You're doing great.
Thank you.
I didn't, I, there's noexcuse for it really.
I just need to learn how to speakproperly, but I look at the way that

(49:24):
my sister and my dad speak and I'mvery, I don't know if I told you
this guys last time, sorry, I'm goingWhere are we going now, Stephanie?
I have to get it out.
I watched my dad on YouTubeonce at his work and I couldn't
understand a word he was saying.
Are you going to give him a shout out?
Mario, my dad, Italian man.
I'm Italian.
Half.

(49:45):
Um, Yeah, and I was like, oh mygosh, that's where I get it from.
So I'm not gonna be so hard on myself.
It's genetic.
Anyway, um, yes, so feminine.
Yes.
Let's go back to that.
Let's go back.
Let's go back.
So
for me, I'm trying to think.

(50:06):
Having fun, being light, uh,feeling, like when I think about
what femininity is, it's feeling, sowithin, having that intuition, that
discernment, feeling, spiritual.
It's, um, you know, when youspeak, don't speak attacking.

(50:27):
Sometimes with you, for example, likewe were talking about before, you
said that there was a way that women,when they're maybe giving men feedback
the way that she says it matters.
So an example of this is like,I could be like, I don't like it
when you do this versus, versus

(50:50):
when this is being said,it makes me feel this way.
So I'm taking you out of theequation, which then removes blame.
And then I'm also using the words feel.
So then it makes you more sensitiveto me feeling, and you'll want to
fix it or listen because you don'tfeel like you're being attacked.
So I have had to learn in theway that I deliver things if

(51:13):
I want to get what I want.
And it sounds manipulative, but itis in a way, because I'm having to
manipulate the way that I speak.
It's not manipulative.
It's, it's playing your part in the dance.
Yeah.
The masculine and the feminine.
Well, it's choosing words.
Well, I, we both have to do that.
I have to choose my words with you.
Like, well, like for, for anyone thatis like, well, you shouldn't, you

(51:36):
should just be able to be who youare and just say what you feel like.
Bullshit, like, we're in thistogether, we have to learn how
to communicate with each other.
And I also believe So it'snot manipulation, it's better
understanding me as your partnerand learning how to dance together.
Yeah, because what Being togetherand being so close and intimate, I

(51:59):
have the ability to tear you down andyour tower down and put you in the
ground very easily, as do you with me.
So sometimes our powers, like feminine,masculine, with each other, if not used
properly, can actually be a detrimentto our relationship and how we function
and also how we feel about ourselves,which then it's like a double edged.

(52:23):
Sword?
Or is it knife?
Either way, something sharp, doubleedged, because If you're bad, you
act bad, which makes me feel bad.
If I'm bad towards you, I feelbad, and then you feel bad,
and then we're both acting bad.
Like, it's just like this, like, back andforth, like bringing out the worst in each
other, which I know there's like a lot ofrelationships that do bring out the worst.

(52:44):
And you want to be in a relationshipthat brings out the best in you, in each
other, helps you grow, helps you succeed.
A good woman will help raise aman up and a good man will help,
you know, take care of the womanand make sure that she's safe.
Like.
And maybe lift her up too.
Maybe she has a career as well and he'snot tearing her career down, like lifting
her up too, supporting each other.

(53:05):
And I do have to say thatbecause I also We've looped that.
Work, yeah.
Yes.
I've been a stay at home mumwhere I just was a mum, nothing
else, taking care of my kids.
When I say just a mum, I mean like I was,you know, that was my job and it is a job.
And then I've also Raised kids and worked.
So I've been on both ends.
So I get it.

(53:26):
And I also understand the shift thatyou have to make going between the two.
It is hard to find that balanceof, you know, running the
show, but then also nurturing.
So yeah, I think keywords, if Iwas to break it down femininity
really simply, because otherwiseI'll just throw it everywhere right
now, because I'm all over the place.

(53:47):
I'd say feel, nurture.
And I think that's it, really.
It's just feeling and nurturing.
Am I missing something?
Those are the two, um, Important.
Those are the two key parts, but Ithink, and we did, we keep referring
back to it, um, the previous episode.
There is a positive and a negative.

(54:07):
to the feminine, just as there is apositive and a negative to the masculine.
So, you don't, like, let's justsay, take that, the first thing
that you said, feeling, right?
Too much in your feelings.
Let's say those feelings arenegative towards others and yourself.
Then this is not going to be, like, agood environment for yourself and others.

(54:28):
Okay?
So, if you're stuck so muchin your feelings and those
feelings aren't positive, thenit's not Then, this is not good.
And then often, actually, what I find isthat that's generally the point in which
you need to flip the switch and balanceout the masculine qualities and maybe
take action, go and do something thatmakes you feel better about yourself.
Right?
But if, if you balance and you'rein your feelings and those feelings

(54:50):
are positive towards yourself andothers, then that's like from a guy's
perspective and how they view women,like there's nothing more attractive.
and, and enticing than that.
And that's like, yeah, key superpower.
And then the other thingyou said was nurturing.
Like, again, that can go wrongif it's people pleasing and only

(55:10):
nurturing others and not yourself.
Yeah.
So that would be the negativeelement of the feminine, if she's
always trying to look after others.
Yep.
And, and not look after herself.
Which is the third one,which is self care.
I knew there was another one, self care,which can also go the opposite way,
you're doing too much and you like feelworse, but you know, eating right, looking
after your skin, washing your hair.

(55:32):
You don't always have to wear makeup,but like, you know, put some lipstick
on one day, see how it makes you feel.
Like, I know that that's a fineline because some women don't want
to wear it and they don't need it.
And then others justfeel like they need it.
Whatever makes you feel good, Ifeel like it's important to feel
good within yourself so thatyou project happiness to others.
And confidence.

(55:53):
I can already hear peoplegetting triggered by that.
About the makeup?
Yeah, the makeup's such a touchy one.
Let me just clarify.
Stephanie said, she didn'tsay women go and wear makeup.
She said, if it makes youfeel, keyword, feel good about
yourself, then go and do it.
If it doesn't, and you feel betternot wearing it, then don't wear it.

(56:15):
Sometimes I wear too muchand feel like a tart.
I'm like, you've done toomuch today, Stephanie.
What have you done?
I look at myself.
I'm like, Oh my gosh, stop it.
And then it's like, I can'tbe bothered getting this off.
Then there are other timeswhere I don't wear makeup.
I'm like, I feel sorry look today.
Like, I don't always No, but you, butyou, you know that when you, when,

(56:36):
like, again, the stereotype is that,well, a feminine must wear a dress
and she must do this, like, no, that'snot at all what we're talking about.
That's not what we're saying.
Pink nails.
No, that's not right.
If, if those things, doing thosethings makes you feel better and
lighter about yourself, then you'reYou, you use the word soft, which

(56:56):
is a very interesting description.
I didn't use the word soft.
I think you did earlier.
No.
Rewind.
Searching.
It was never mentioned, LOL.
I think you did.
Well, anyway, I'm goingto, you can use it.
I'm going to use that wordsoft because, it's a bit of
like a cringe word, like soft.
Well, maybe, I wouldn't have used that.

(57:18):
So maybe, maybe to you.
So, for you, that might be.
A cringeword.
For a guy?
That's not a cringeword at all.
Like, what guy wants a hard woman?
I was talking aboutthe actual word itself.
Soft?
You know, like, moist is like a bitof an or, that's a bit of a word.
Like, soft, I felt like, is in thatcategory of like, that's a word.

(57:38):
Come on, Stephanie.
Don't you have a cringeword?
What's your cringe rate?
Yeah, moist is a little bit different.
Soft's alright.
Give me a nice soft pat or a nicesoft something, I don't know.
That's alright.
Taxi.
There, we are getting on.

(57:59):
What time is it?
How long have we been going for?
We've been going a while, butwe're getting good stuff here.
Let me finish on this point becauseI think this is important and
something that helped me understandthis whole thing a lot better.
If you didn't use the word soft I'mgoing to use the word soft, because
like I said, from a guy's perspective,if you were to describe a woman, you've
got a soft woman and a hard woman.

(58:20):
Which would he prefer?
The moist one.
Oh, God.
Sorry.
The soft one.
Now, now, why is that?
You might be thinking, well, that's,that's sexist, what's, you know,
why, why would you think that?
Like, welcome to, welcome to the mindof men, like, like it or not, like,
that's, as a masculine male, he'salways going to desire a, a softer

(58:44):
woman because it helps him feel.
A harder woman doesn't help him feel,it helps him be more of a bloke.
Yeah.
But, generally speaking,he'll go to blokes if he wants
to feel more like a bloke.
If he wants to feel more, you know,emotive within himself, he needs
a woman to bring that out in him.
So, he's always going toseek the feminine to do that.

(59:05):
Now, soft is an important word because,again, we talked about it last time,
but we talked about the biologicaldifferences between men and women.
Like, generally speaking, thewoman's body is a softer body.
Why?
Why?
Because it needs more body fat.
to protect the organs because you,biologically, will carry young.

(59:28):
I do not.
Right?
So inherently, my bodyis going to be harder.
It's built to work.
It's not built to birth young.
It's built to work.
It's built to lift.
It's built to provide and protect.
Now, it's so interesting when youthink about it like this, because
God has written it in our biology.
Like, The way in which I guesswe inherently lean and the

(59:50):
way in which we are created.
I know for myself, when I'mfeeling Use that word, hard.
When I'm feeling strong, likestrong is a very masculine quality.
I feel great about myself.
And like, I know, I noticed with you,when you're feeling soft and the feelings
that you feel are soft, kind, andloving towards yourself, this is like

(01:00:11):
the best feminine vibe that you have.
It's interesting before when we saidthe negative side of the feminine,
if your feelings are really negativetowards yourself, they're not, I
wouldn't call them soft feelings.
I would call them hard feelings.
And like, if you use that analogy, like,the soft part of the feminine, beautiful.

(01:00:32):
The hard part of the femininecan be really bad for both men
and women, and likewise for men.
Like, this goes both ways.
This doesn't just go one way.
Like, the hard part of masculinity,if he's out there being strong, like,
I don't know how many women wouldsay, oh, I don't like a strong guy.
It's This, this is writtenin the way that we are.
And it's so funny you say thatbecause I feel like there are some

(01:00:55):
men in relationships that are morefeminine, but then I look at their
partners and that women are moremasculine because opposites do attract.
Now, whatever, which way that is, it'sso begs the question, but Even in non
heterosexual relationships, there is evena more masculine and a more feminine.
Like, with partners that are in the samesex relationships, like generally one

(01:01:18):
leans one way and the other leans thatway, like even, even though there might
be a biological difference, like theirenergy will generally tilt one way and
how they best feel and carry themselves.
And when, when you both starttrying to lean one way, then you
butt heads like we always do.
There's an equal opposite to everything.
Of course.
You know.
And opposites attract.

(01:01:39):
Cold, hot.
Yep.
What else?
Up, down, left, right.
I had to think for a second.
I was thinking about a magnet and likethe, the opposite end of the magnet.
And it's actually funny.
Here's some science for you.
Cause I love that.
If you try and put the same magnet Yeah.
Yep.

(01:01:59):
They repel.
They push each other that way.
I've tried it.
I've like worked really hard to tryand get it to touch just for fun.
Can't.
It goes the other way.
And that is the perfect analogy becauseagain, this is a universal law and we,
we are describing these qualities asenergies, no different than a battery.
Yeah.
Like these are energies.
And when, when you have a batteryand you put the positive side to

(01:02:22):
the negative side, they click.
Yeah.
They mesh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or as you mix same same,you end in trouble.
And you can try and push it.
You can.
It won't work very well, but you can.
Yeah, it's pretty amazing.
It's, it's, it's, yeah, it blows my mind.
Powerful, huh?
One last point to finish this off, becauseI don't know how long we've been going,

(01:02:44):
but I know we've been going a while.
You said something good before,you said the inner work.
Like, again, if I bring this back tobiology, like, the body of the woman
Is moist.
I knew you would use this word somewhere.
Moist, moist, moist.
Let's say the body of the man.

(01:03:06):
The The man and his manhood are outward.
Yes.
The woman and her womanhood are inwards.
Inward.
Yes.
Now, again, written in biology, like themen inherently are projecting forward.
They are directional.
Yes.
In their being, in who theyare, and in their manhood.
Like this is written, like the womanis inward where it's kind of chaotic.

(01:03:29):
Mm hmm.
Like, there's Lots going on up there.
Lots going on.
Mm hmm.
And, like, to, to go inward.
inward for the women out there and to getmore in touch with their feminine side.
I have to stop becauseI'll leave, I'll forget it.
I don't mean to be rude, butyou can actually touch on that.
We, you mentioned the words chaotic.

(01:03:49):
That brings me back to ourcycle, the women's cycle.
We could do a whole episode on that.
No, but that's what I'm saying.
Like each different week is a differentpart of like, a cycle, which is chaotic.
And do you know what's funny?
What?
A guy's cycle runs on a 24 hour clock.
Exactly.
Simple.
Yes.
Men, directional, simple, 24 hourcycle, repeat, repeat, repeat.
Yeah, yeah.

(01:04:09):
Women, monthly.
Yeah.
Week like this, week like that,in terms of emotions, what's
happening, ovulation, period.
Do you know what's funny?
I'll just tell them.
Yeah, go on.
When we first got together, One dayI saw you on your phone and I think I
was next to you, but in the backgroundyou can put like, so you got your apps,
but in the background you can makeyour own little thing that you can see.
Yeah.
And you had when bae bleeds me becauseback then I must've been a little bit.

(01:04:35):
erratic.
And you were like preparing yourself.
So you figured out what my cycle wasso that you could prepare for me.
And in relationships, you can actuallydo that as well, where you can figure
out your woman's cycle, know what phaseshe's in and how you can work around that.
Because there are phases where she'llwant you to be like sweet to her.
Yeah.
Fire chocolates, like gether heat, like whatever.
Then other ones, she'll want you tobe like masculine and take charge.

(01:04:58):
So it's always changing.
I think you just found atopic for episode before.
Let's talk about cycles.
well cycles, but then also how theman, uh, can better understand that.
And then I think we canalso elaborate more.
in the masculine and helping womenbetter understand men, because we've
done a bit and hopefully today for menlistening, they've had a bit of insight

(01:05:19):
around the feminine and the femalemind and how that might relate to them.
And hopefully for women, um, again, tofinish that point I was saying before,
like, you know, better than anyonehow difficult it is in today's day and
age and how it's almost frowned uponto see a tent to feel and to go slow.
Like we live in a very much a cultureof like, You know, get money, get

(01:05:41):
power, be successful, get followers,like, all of these things, like.
I hope for any women out there listening,like, take a moment to do some inner
work, whatever that means for you, like,just sit, have a cup of tea, get a heat
sack, like, write in a journal, like,do something kind, be kind to yourself,

(01:06:03):
you're, you're worth being kind to, andchances are, I think you'll feel a little
bit better about yourself when you'rekind to yourself, like, you don't have
to beat yourself up all of the time.
Yeah.
You know, it goes for both men and womenonce again, but it seems like There,
there is seemingly like an agenda, notan agenda, but it's just weird culturally

(01:06:23):
how it's almost frowned upon just to Justto sit and to be and to be free flowing
like there's an expectation almost thatyou must go out and conquer It's funny
you say that yeah, I remember when Istarted the Instagram game not started,
but I was A couple of years in, and Ibecame a trainer on an app and I had

(01:06:45):
like the power building program, thebody, like the heavy lifting program
out of all the girls in this app.
And uh, my mentality back thenwas, go hard or go home, because
I felt like I had to be the hardtrainer, like the military trainer.
And um, and, You know, girls wouldbe like, what if I'm on my period?

(01:07:05):
If, if, what if this ishappening and I'm stressed?
I'm like, push through.
And you know, it's funny.
I lived that mantra and I ended upgetting injuries, like really bad
injuries that whole entire year.
I like gained a heap of weight.
Cause my body just wentfull inflammation mode.
I got a parasite.
I had, um, gut dysbiosis.
I had, um, Candida, justbacteria over, overgrowth.

(01:07:28):
Like I was in a, all sortsof things were going wrong.
My body shut down.
That was like.
I don't know what year thatwas, maybe 2018, maybe.
Maybe, yeah.
I don't even know.
Maybe 2020, actually.
It was around the, I don'twant to say the C word.
COVID, um, . 'cause that's just crazy.
Everyone's crazy about that.
But it was, yeah, around that time.

(01:07:50):
And I had to take a huge step back and,and I went and sourced a naturopath.
I went and, you know, reduced my trainingload completely, took step backs to
take better care of myself within.
And I killed the, ended up killing theparasite, like balanced my BA bacteria.
I like lost the weight I felt.

(01:08:12):
So much better.
I could sleep.
I was getting like hives.
Like my skin was breaking out.
Like my body was speaking to me.
Like, it was shouting out, actually.
It wasn't speaking.
It was going, Girl, what are you doing?
You're unwell.
And I was just ignoring everythingbecause I was like, Go home!
Go home!
So masculine.
You've lived it.
And then I was like, thisis not working for me.
I can't live like this.
I'm not sleeping.

(01:08:33):
Like, I'm itchy.
Like, I just It was really awful.
And then I couldn't even domy job, which was training.
Couldn't even do thatbecause I was injured.
So I know now You've lived it.
even like when I start to pushtoo hard, now I listen to myself.
But I had to go through that torealise that and really actually
appreciate what you're sayingof like, be kind to yourself.
When people used to say that tome, I was like, kind to myself.

(01:08:56):
What is that even?
Like, please, this isn't play school.
Like, be kind to myself.
But I really now seehow important that was.
Because if you don't, your bodywill Find ways to tell you to.
Things go wrong.
Things will go wrong.
Either your relationships will go wrong.
Your body will shut down.
You know what's so funny about yougoing back to training to touch on that.

(01:09:17):
You find that like when youare kinder to yourself and you
prioritize your recovery more, evenyour body, starts looking better.
I know right now I'm a bit inflamed.
I don't know if you guys can tell.
Look at that.
I gain muscle really easy.
So if I don't, like, this is true.
If I train too hard, Iget big really quickly.
And I've been, I've had my years ofbeing big and I had a lot of fun,

(01:09:39):
but it's not how I want to look.
And I, please don't take thisthe wrong way with any girls that
are lifting heavy and are jacked.
Like, they're super committed.
Respect.
Respect.
And I think they look great, but for me,and how I feel about myself, at this end,
when I say at this end of my life, atthe tender age of 37, getting older now,
my priorities for myself is making surethat I'm not injured all the time, that

(01:10:03):
I feel good in clothing, that I'm notinflamed, I'm not in pain all the time.
And so even now I've got a shoulderinjury because I've been hitting the upper
body too hard and it's wear and tear.
And also sometimes I mightnot see my chiros or physios.
And also maybe, you know, whenyou don't take care of yourself.
Yeah.
When I don't take care of myselfor even just like, yeah, just

(01:10:26):
over use of certain movements.
I, I have to take a step back andI get injured and I don't like it.
So I, my goals right now for myself,not like you asked my gym goals, but
I'll tell you, is to just, here we go.
My gym goals are freeflowing, free flowing.
This is what I do.
Like, honestly, hit us, Stephanie.
It's the caffeine.

(01:10:47):
It does something to me.
It makes me stutter.
And it's the feminine.
Sorry.
For myself, my goals, I'll just repeatit again because I think I just said it
before, is to reduce my inflammation,feel good within myself, still be
strong but not injure myself, enjoythe gym and not feel trapped by it.
Can I interject?
Yes.
What's it?

(01:11:10):
I'm at the end of this podcast andit's all like, the excitement's
happening now, post at the end.
No, you're just, cause the coffee'skicking in, you've had more.
We shouldn't drink coffee during these.
Whatever.
It makes me anxious.
No, you're starting toflow in now, you're good.
Um, what I was going to sayabout your training to interject
is that people often comment.

(01:11:32):
Mostly it's men will commenton your posts and say, you've
looked the same for many years.
You lift the same weights and theycan't fathom what you're talking about.
The masculine can't fathom,why isn't this moving forward?
Why aren't we progressing?
Why aren't we conquering?
When you're just trying to feelgood right now about yourself.

(01:11:54):
You enjoy lifting and youenjoy the challenge of that.
You enjoy.
feeling like a conqueror in thegym, but you're not there to
conquer the world and your body.
You're here to, you know,look and feel how you want to.
I have to stop myselffrom training too hard.
That's the problem.
It's the opposite.
I can definitely train hardand I can definitely gain size
very quickly and very easily.

(01:12:15):
But does that look for mepersonally make me feel better?
No.
Sometimes when I'm in the gym, definitely.
I'm like, Oh, this is fun.
I'm like jacked whenI'm out in the street.
I'm like, I don't knowif I feel good right now.
You know?
So each to their own, and like Isaid, it depends on your goals.
Like when you are lifting competitively,yeah, that was, uh, that was necessary.
And you loved that.

(01:12:36):
And there was, and therewas nothing wrong with that.
I've had my phase of it.
Yeah.
And you know what?
I might say this right now withhow I feel, cause I'm saying how I
feel right now, not life direction.
I could change in a year from nowand say, I want to get jacked again.
Do you know what I mean?
Like it's always foreverchanging, but right now I just
want to take care of my health.
Yeah.
And it, but it is so funny what yousaid when you tried that and your

(01:12:59):
body rejected that notion of like, youknow, go, go, go, go hard, go conquer.
Cause like I know for myself as aguy, like when I'm out conquering,
lifting heavy, um, pushing myself,like making myself hurt, like
being hard on myself, not soft.
Yeah.
Like I feel like, Yeah.

(01:13:19):
To summarize, we talked a lot about thenature of the feminine and hopefully,
um, for the women listening, thatmight be a little bit of insight
into that aspect of yourself.
And like we said before, um, fromour experience, like, you know,
you've, the kinder that you've been toyourself, the more you've leant into.

(01:13:41):
The softness of yourself.
Typically the better you feel.
And you know what?
Some women might reject this.
I know my sister does whenI talk to her about it.
She's a single mum of four.
And she just can't, she can't grasp stuff.
That's the concept of what I'm saying.
That situation is so difficult becauseyou're forced to be, you know, the
leader, the protector and the provider.

(01:14:02):
You're forced to play both mum anddad in a single mother situation.
So single mothers are saying,please, like, by no means should,
should you not take that on andlike literally hats off to you.
Like there is no harder job.
Um, and no harder situation to be in as a,as a single mother to try and do it all.
Um, but if you are in that situationand you're listening to this, you know,

(01:14:25):
feeling like maybe you're a bit offbalance, like maybe there's just going
to be a period of time where that's,there's nothing you can do about that
and that, that's a season in your lifethat you will go through and it will
come to an end, but you will get toa point also where you'll probably
think to yourself, you know, well,who, who am I and how do I feel good?
Yeah.
And from our experience, like, you'vebeen in that scenario as a single

(01:14:46):
mom, the more that you've been ableto lean back into, you know, the
soft natured feminine in you, thebetter that you seem to have felt.
Um, and I know the same is true forme as a guy leaning in towards the
masculine, but we can talk about thatmaybe on the next, on the next episode.
All right.
Sounds like a plan.
Was there any final tips that you wanted?

(01:15:08):
To say.
Or to share.
No.
No final tips.
I don't want to confuse anybody.
I just, I guess, my advice would beListen, as a woman, listen to your body.
Listen to yourself.
Listen to your intuition andyour discernment and your
heart because it speaks to you.
And that's a gift that weactually have that men do not.

(01:15:30):
Mm-Hmm.
. And they do, but they do nothave it to the extent that we do.
That's not something that weare gifted with to feel Mm-hmm.
Feel those inner thoughtsand feel that, that not, not
anywhere new to the same degree.
Yeah.
Like I might haveintuition, but you are like.
Next level.
Next level.
And in the way that you pick thingsup and you have helped me so much

(01:15:51):
as your partner to help guide meand better understand situations and
see things that I would never haveseen otherwise because of that gift.
So trust yourself when you feel.
And appreciate, hopefully likeappreciate the feminine aspect of
yourself, like don't shut it down.
Like I have nothing but good things tosay about that, that quality in women.

(01:16:12):
Like I think it's.
I think it's beautiful andwhat draws us men to women.
Yeah.
So.
Anything you would like to say?
Uh, well, I think that's probably all.
Hopefully we haven't offendedtoo many people because I
know this is a touchy subject.
But if you, um, got something out of it,and I hope you did, whether you are a

(01:16:34):
man or a woman listening, and hopefullymen, that helps you better understand.
I know it's a very complex thing andmaybe next time we can touch on, you
You know, the cycle of a woman and howmen can navigate through that, um, and
how they can, you know, get a little bitmore in touch with their masculine side.
Um, but that's something that wecan explore in the next episode.

(01:16:56):
So, if you did enjoy this, uh,content, please let us know.
Drop a comment if you're, uh, onone of the podcasts, podcasts.
Now we know we're really gettingon podcast channels, Spotify, Apple
Music, wherever you're listeningto this, please follow the channel.
And if you're on YouTube watchingus right now, please subscribe.

(01:17:16):
The more that we can grow this thing, themore content we will be able to produce.
We're aiming for fortnightly releasesat the moment, but there's no reason
that couldn't necessarily increase ifwe, um, If we start growing this thing,
so Make sure you do watch YouTube ifyou are listening at a different place,
because I was flexing on here, and youmissed out, so And I have many great

(01:17:36):
hand gestures, which are worth watching.
And I stick my tongue out a lot,I've noticed that about myself.
At least you don't lick your lips.
I didn't see you lick your lips this time.
I've gotten, for anyone thatmissed that, uh, apparently
I've been licking my lips, uh.
And apparently I say, Mm hmm, mm hmm.
Not apparently, you did.
Yeah, well I've refrained today.

(01:17:57):
My stomach's speakingfor me at the moment.
It's going, We're losing it, hun.
Okay.
Well, until next time, thankyou for tuning into our podcast.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for watching.
We will see you on the next video.

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