EP 005: Why Is She Always MAD With You? (What Men NEED to Know)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Coming up on the Steph &Jamie podcast...
She crazy! I just knew I can'tkeep up with this chick....
One minute she loves me.
The other minute she hates me.
Like what am I supposed to do here?
It's very hard for men tounderstand their women.
If they don't take the time to understandthis cycle, why can't you just be like me?
You know, why, why do you have to be, youdon't want us to be like you trust me.
There's such power in it.

(00:21):
And if you can know how to respond to it.
certain phases of her cycle, then you'reprobably going to get along much more.
Let go of the bitterness.
Let go of the frustration.
You might think she's crazy, butgo find yourself someone else and
you'll find yourself having thesame problems Cause we're all crazy.
with whoever this next woman is.
If you don't think she's crazy,then you haven't met the real her.

(00:42):
That's it.
And you can sense it, right?
I'm less playful.
Mm hmm.
I'm more irritated and almost moreaggressive in the way that I'm speaking.
Very.
We actually gave it names.
This is what we're saying.
Well, it's controversial.
Yeah, this is, this is,you want to hear this.
So I have, I have differentpersonas for these two different
phases of Steph's cycle.

(01:02):
And I'm so scared.
Welcome to Life in Depthwith Steph and Jamie.
Learn what she's feelingand what he's thinking.
Starting now.
Wait for it.
Shot you in the face.
Vote for mine, you ready?

(01:22):
Ooh.
Mine just added more Oh, you justput it all over the table now.
I did not.
Hang on, I can't get throughto the second part of this.
Hang on.
Ooh, that's good.
Oh dear.
That happened.
I was bagging you out for that.
I know.
Do you know what the beauty is?
Just put the hair overit, no one will notice.
That is karma right there in action.

(01:43):
I swear mine was shaken.
This is why Stephanie uses a straw.
I For anyone.
Oh my God.
Oh my goodness.
Oh, it's bubbling.
Excuse me, somebody.
Do you have like somethingto wipe the table?
We're in it now, hun.
We're going to keep going.
So for anyone that cannot visuallysee us right now, that is watching on
one of the podcast platforms, whetherit be Spotify or Apple podcasts, you

(02:07):
would have heard us just open a drink.
The drink that we just opened isby our brand new sponsors who we're
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We are drinking someprotein sparkling water.
Can I just tell yousomething about this brand?

(02:29):
It's not just like, here's another brand.
Yes.
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(02:51):
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(03:14):
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Anyway, into, uh, our nextepisode, which is number five.

(03:59):
Can you believe it?
Yes.
And on the last episode, yougot your phone out and you were
like, here's some stats today.
I want to bring you some stats aboutwomen because we have decided that we're
going to you know, open up the can ofworms and talk about cycles and women.
We were just, before we started this, wewere discussing the, um, title of this

(04:21):
video because I don't know how many menhave ever Googled or YouTubed or searched
up, uh, information about a woman's cycle.
I think that many guys maybe that'sa little bit like far fetched
or they don't really uh, thinkthat that's relevant to them.
They think that that's just a woman'sproblem and they kind of discard the

(04:44):
in, you know, the entire concept.
So we're talking about the titlesand I think we, we came up with
the solution for that title.
That was really fitting andI felt was really relatable.
Because I, I said to you, I said, wecan't just call it the female cycle No
guy's going to want to listen to that.
What we decided to call it is, thisis why she's always mad at you.
She always mad.

(05:04):
We're always mad.
So tell us, Stephanie, tell us whyare you always mad at us poor men?
What did we do?
Well, firstly, you had to figure thisout very early on in our relationship.
I sure did.
After probably three weeks of dating, oneday I had to use your phone for something.
Mhm.
And then I noticed in the corner of yourphone, like on the home screen with all

(05:25):
the apps, this little corner bit that youhad put in there as a back, like, thing.
And do you know what it,do you know what it said?
What?
You should know what it said.
I remember what it said.
What did it say?
Do you want me to say what it said?
Yeah, you say.
And I had to read it twicebecause I was like, what the hell?
It said, when bae, as in B AE, bae, that's what you used
to call me back in the day.
Yeah.

(05:45):
When babe bleeds.
And it had like the littlered emoji mark and a sad face.
And you, somehow, were tracking my period.
So that you knew when I wasangry at you, why, and how to
deal with me during that time.
It's funny what I said before, howmany guys, uh, don't give the, uh,
menstrual cycle of a woman credit.

(06:05):
Um, I grew up, for anyone who doesn'tknow, I grew up in a house of boys.
So I have, uh, three older brothers,father, mother, mother was obviously
the only female in the house growing up.
So I was never really exposed,um, to, you know, the mood
swings, the hormonal fluctuations,all of these different things.
uh, beautiful things that comewith the, the female or the woman.

(06:26):
And I was very acutely aware when we gottogether, um, that I was so far out of my
depth and I didn't really understand whyall of these things were happening and
why you could be one way You know, in thefirst phase of your cycle, and another
way in the second phase of your cycle.
At that time, I didn't evenknow it was cycle related.
I just knew that like, She crazy.
I just knew I can'tkeep up with this chick.

(06:47):
Like one minute she loves me,the other minute she hates me.
Like, what am I supposed to do here?
How am I supposed to navigate it?
And then I eventually, you know,Came to me, I was aware that,
hang on, this has to be relatedto some degree, uh, to your cycle.
Because that, that's when I noticed allof these changes, and I'm like, if I'm
ever going to understand you, I needto put in the effort to understanding
this, and what the menstrual cycleactually means, not only just for

(07:10):
you as a woman and your biology, butwhat it means for our relationship.
Mm.
And how I can navigate thatas a man and as your partner.
So that we can get along not just inone week or one phase of the cycle, but
in, you know, every phase of the cycle.
And this is definitely not somethingthat I get right all of the time.
I get it wrong plenty of times,but I've I guess come up with some

(07:31):
level of understanding that we cannavigate it far better than what I
did at the start of our relationship.
What's weird is I wasn't trackingback then, so I didn't even know.
And that, I know that sounds so sillyto say, because now I have every single
app that tracks every single thing,like my heart rate, this, that, that.
So that wasn't untilyou were like 28, right?
Yeah, I was older.
And you would think that I, that'ssomething that I would do, but I was,

(07:54):
before you, like single and I hadkids and by myself, there wasn't any.
need to kind of figure out where Iwas because I had no one, you know, I
wasn't blowing my head off at anyone.
That's funny because even youdidn't necessarily give it credit
for, uh, your, you know, hormonalchanges or your mood fluctuations.
Like you were, you were just tryingto live life and be on this ever

(08:14):
ending cycle of like, happy sad.
That being said, and I don't knowif this is just me or this is.
like an older woman thing, butthe older I've got, the worse my
hormones and my period has got.
Can any women out there relate?
Comment below.
I'm really sorry if you're a male andyou're listening to this, but I, I think
I was, um, more encouraged to trackthese things, to find it, get data.

(08:39):
to find out more about myself,because I felt like, yeah, as I got
older, things were getting worse.
My moods were getting worse.
I was feeling more depressed.
I was, you know, more bloatedthan what I was 10 years before.
And, you know, Yeah.
I feel like back then when you'reyounger, you may not notice things
as much or they may not be as severedepending on what's going on internally.

(09:01):
Good point.
Cause every woman is different.
Like some women dealing with, you know,well, that's the funny thing as well.
I think like some womendon't even experience PMS.
Um, and then other women areon contraception and they
don't even have a period.
Right.
So like for example, I get bad pain whenI have a period and I had a few scans and
things done and I had, um, Low levels.

(09:22):
Very low levels of um, endometriosis,um, very, like not enough to have
an operation, not enough for itto completely where I'm bedridden,
but just a little bit of it.
And that to me was news because Iwas like, that makes sense as to why
I'm having really painful periods.

(09:43):
There could be many reasons,but to me I was like, Oh,
that's kind of like the answer.
So yeah, I think it's verylifestyle dependent, very.
hormone dependent, where you're at,your stress, all that kind of thing.
It really does affectthe cycle that you have.
Like if I, I'm, I'm probably rantingright now, but if I have Can we set the
stage before you continue your rant?
Yeah.
If possible.

(10:03):
Yeah.
Can you reveal what part ofyour cycle you are on currently?
I did look before I'm on day23, which is the, uh Which means
Stephanie is about to Luteal phase.
Which is about to bleed, right?
So you're in the weekbefore, uh, Your period.
Yep.
And my, my cycle.
Oh, we're really getting into it.
My cycle can be from 28, 25 days to 32.

(10:26):
So I could, when I was younger,it was like 28 days on the day.
But now there's like, it's, there's abigger gap of like, it could be anytime.
It's just seems so peculiar.
That this is just a partof being a woman though.
And this is not something thatmen experience, nor do, as I
said before, really understand.

(10:46):
We don't have to understand this.
Like, the male cycle runson, what, a 24 hour clock.
Like, testosterone peaks in themorning, stays somewhat regulatory
throughout the day, and then itgradually drops off at night.
And like, I think we've done the last twoepisodes, if you haven't checked them out.
Um, episode three, we dived deepinto women and the feminine.
Uh, episode four, we dive deep intomen and the masculine, and we, one

(11:09):
of the big things that we sort ofspoke about in those episodes is the
fact that women are very much multidirectional in their nature, in case
thoughts, emotions, feelings will,will free flow in many different ways.
Whereas guys are very muchdirectional, straight line thinking.
Logic, logical, rational.
So we've, we've got these twodifferent energies and this isn't
just like, um, a way of being.

(11:32):
This is like rooted in our biology.
So it's a really hard thing for theopposite sex to try and understand each
other and these different biologicalthings that are happening within us.
But given that it is a thing,we have to have some level of
understanding for it, right?
Well, okay.
That's true.
Let's just use my cycle rightnow as an example to that.
Okay.
So if I type in just great, Google haslike AI now, if I type in on day 23 of my

(12:00):
menstrual cycle, AI overview on day 23 ofyour menstrual cycle, you might experience
a number of changes, rising progesteronelevels, progesterone levels start to rise,
which can cause breast aches, bloating,breakouts, greasy hair, and tiredness.
Pre menstrual symptoms, so PMS.

(12:20):
If you experience PMS, you mightexperience mood swings, breast
tenderness, bloating, lethargy,depression, and irritability.
And it's saying that menstrualcycles vary from person to person,
but the average is around 28 days.
Regular cycles can rangefrom 21 to 35 days.
So I'm bang smack in that kindof middle range from 28 to 32,
even 34 if I'm really stressed.

(12:41):
Do you know what's really cool?
What?
It might be a little bit far fetchedand woo woo for some people, but I was
knowing that we were going to do this, Iwas thinking about the symbolism behind
28 days, because 28 days is the, theregular number for most women's cycle.
Yeah.
Why 28?
Like why, like, I don't know,I think a bit out there, like
why did God make it 28 days?
What does that mean?

(13:02):
And I, I don't know the answer.
I'm like reaching so far beyond my depth,but in numerology, the number two stands
for duality, balance, and partnership.
The number eight means new beginnings.
So if we think of that biologicallyand how that relates to us, especially
in relationships, you got to thinkthat you are living a life of duality.

(13:26):
There is going to be these twodifferent phases, which we just
mentioned before, this filithia phaseand the luteal phase where you have.
really two different ways ofbeing every single 28 days.
And at the end, representing theeight, we've got a new beginning
and it all starts all over again.
But I think there are many like guysthat get super frustrated by the nature
of women and by this whole phenomenon.

(13:47):
and can't keep up with these changes.
They don't understand these changes.
And they get really bitterand resentful that, you know,
why can't you just be like me?
Yeah.
You know, why, why do you have to be?
You don't want us tobe like you, trust me.
Like you said, it's very hard for mento understand their women if they don't
take the time to understand their cycle.

(14:07):
And I know that it's boring and you don'twant to know about it and it's gross.
Um, but there's such power in it becauseyou can actually, I don't want to say
that you have to tiptoe or walk oneggshells, but I think that if you can
know how to respond to her in certaincycles of her, in certain phases of
her cycle, then you're probably goingto get along much more than just that

(14:32):
one week on the good week of her cycle.
There's only like one good week inthat whole month where women feel like
they're on top of the world, wherethey feel like sexually attractive.
And I don't want to say what'sthe proper word for horny.
We can just say honey.
No, it's so like, there's aproper word for it, like, um.
Increased libido.

(14:52):
Like, yeah.
How's that?
Um, yeah.
So it's, uh, and she feelsconfident, like all of these things.
And she works better.
She can perform better in the gym.
There is so many things that happenin that certain cycle of the month.
And I love that week.
But if you want that week to be likemore than just the one week and have

(15:13):
more great times like that with herin that whole month, then listen up.
Yes.
I think that like, there is definitelysomething to be said for men,
uh, who discard the importance ofthis and, uh, live in a constant
state of frustration, irritation.
Of that, you know, mantra or mindset.
Why, why can't you just be more like me?

(15:33):
Why can't you be simple?
And like, reality check is, if youare going to choose as a guy to be
in a heterosexual relationship witha female, like, this is going to be
like, there's no way around this.
You have to accept this and embraceit and learn how to navigate it.
Because, in a relationship, like,we've referenced it a lot in this

(15:53):
show, it's much like a dance.
Right, where we are going, we're inthis dance, and if we step on each
other's toes, or we move in the oppositedirection, you know, we are never going
to get along or find a place of harmony.
Like, there's always going to bedisputes, there's always going to be
trouble, and if we are ever going tofind a level of success within our
relationship, and balance, then weneed to find a way to dance together,

(16:16):
and there's just no way around it.
So, I would say step one for guys,advising guys here, is to let go of the
bitterness, let go of the frustration.
You might think she's crazy.
You might think she's irrational.
You might think this isn't fair, but gofind yourself someone else and you'll
find yourself having the same problems.
Because we're all crazy.

(16:36):
With whoever this next woman is.
If you don't think she's crazy,then you haven't met the real her.
That's it.
And I'm not afraid tosay that we're crazy.
Because we are created uniquely andwe do feel a lot of things which can
come off as crazy or like, unstable.
But really, we're just passionatewomen with so many emotions and we

(16:58):
just don't know how to hold them in.
Like I said before, there's often apressure or desire for women to just
be more simple and just to, you know,just do it the way that we do it.
You know, everything's blackand white, straight line,
rational, logical, whatever.
But at the same time, like How boringwould life be if we just lived in
a constant state of straight lines?
Like, I think one of the beautifulthings that women actually bring to

(17:20):
the table for men that they don't oftenget credit for is that spontaneity
and that level of excitement.
And like, um, I think you mentioned on aprevious episode, like there's, there's
something in the quote, unquote crazythat can be a little attractive as well,
but you'll never get credit for it.
Yeah.
Before we get demeaned for it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's see it.

(17:40):
So, speaking, uh, facts, um, thereis something else worth mentioning.
Did you, I think earlier you saidyou've got some facts for me.
I do, I do have some facts for you.
I presented some factsin the last episode.
For anyone that watched that.
If you didn't, go and do it now.
Um, but yeah, I did present somefacts and I was trying to get some
data and find some studies thatcould support what we have found.

(18:05):
Um, in our own relationshipbecause, you know, we've been
together nearly a decade now.
We've found some truths, some tips,some tricks that have helped us
better navigate this dance together.
Um, but it's interesting actuallylooking at different studies and
statistics to support, uh, our findingsto give it, you know, some level of
evidence that what we are saying mightbe true because whenever we talk, uh,

(18:26):
gender related topics, it seems to bealways met with a lot of resistance.
Um, there are, you know, one campthat says, no, that's not true,
I'm, I'm the outlier, I'm different.
And then there's the other campthat says, you know, well, yes, this
is true, we're all, all like this.
Like even what you said before,which is like, we can be a little
crazy, uh, from a woman's standpoint.
Yeah.
They get so offended because they don'twant to put themselves in that box.

(18:48):
Correct.
But that's, that's, depends what you.
Yeah.
identify crazy as.
Yeah.
So for me, like, for example,crazy doesn't mean like, for other
people, it might be like bat crazy.
Like, but for me, it's more so, like Isaid, just like the passion and so much
going on and like, can appear, likeyou said, passionate and expressive.

(19:09):
So, yeah, to others, we covered, uh,we covered that in depth in our third
episode when we discussed the feminine.
So if you haven't seen that,go and give that a watch.
Yeah.
Um, but one statistic, I was justsaying, that's why people, are
offended some women by that word crazy.
Cause they identify it aslike a, not a good word.
Well, people even just, um, thefirst, um, uh, clip that we shared

(19:32):
from this podcast that did, you know,really well and got shared around.
Um, I remember the thing that you saidwas, um, women often say what they feel,
uh, not necessarily always what they mean.
And like people got very offended just bythat sentiment, which you were basically
just alluding to the fact that womenspeak more emotionally and men speak
a little bit more in terms of logic.

(19:53):
And even just that wastoo much for many people.
They were outraged by that.
Like right now, in this part of mycycle, I'm telling you more about
what I feel right now, what's beendeep down inside, and I want to
get it all out and everything.
right now seems like it's your fault.
And I know that women arelike, that's so immature.

(20:13):
She needs to be a woman and grow up.
No, that's just what happens.
That's actually just what happens.
You think about all the things thatyou're not happy with in your life and
you want to bring it all up to fix it all.
Whereas the next cycle, it's kindof like that time's over and you
feel more grateful and you're morepresent and you're just feeling
hormonally different, less dark.
So you're not talkingabout all of that stuff.

(20:36):
And so, yeah, I find it.
funny.
That's why most, like,women will break up.
There's all these memes going.
I don't know if you've seenthese memes going around.
You've probably seen heaps becauseI send them to you all the time.
But anyway, it's like these littlestick figures and she's like, I'm done.
I want it to be over.
And he's like, Oh, you're hungry.

(20:57):
He's like, it's okay, baby.
Just hungry.
And then she gives herpizza and she's like, yeah.
She's like, so what are we doing tonight?
After just saying, I want to divorceyou two seconds before, because it's
something dark happens in that time.
All the shadows come out to the surface.
Yeah.
And whatever we're unhappy with, webring up and the men are just like,
It's not, it's not pretty for you guys.

(21:18):
And that doesn't happen to everyone,but it can happen to some people.
And that's probably where you can get somehelp with your hormones, or you can learn
self control, or have communication, um,and have a really mature partner be like,
that's really not what you mean right now.
What's going on?
Let me hear you.
What do you need?
Because, because really it's not howshe feels, like deep down it's probably

(21:40):
Or she might feel that in the moment,but she's not necessarily saying In
the moment, it's not what she means.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which is where that whole thing came from.
Yeah.
For example, if she says, oh, you're beinglike, you're such an idiot, you know,
maybe uh, he might be being an idiot inthat moment, but she doesn't inherently
think that he is an idiot at that moment.
Yeah.
All times forever.
Yeah.
Whereas.
It might just be feelingthat way in the moment.

(22:01):
And in the different part of hercycle, she would know the consequence
of saying that and how that wouldhurt him and be a little bit more
careful with her choice of words.
But yeah, in that dark part ofher cycle, she's just letting
it out and she does not care.
She's like, like eating.
I don't care.
I'm just going to eat it all.
Cause there's stuff going on.
There's hormones that aregoing up and down and shifting
and it is a lot to deal with.

(22:21):
Any, any woman can vouch for methat going through, you know, the
different parts of your cycle is alot mentally, physically, emotionally.
And we have to deal withthat every single month.
And sometimes we can nail it andreally take care of ourselves
and get to know ourselves.
And other times, like me 15 years ago, Iwasn't even recording it or even caring

(22:42):
or even think that it was a problem.
Until obviously I had a long termrelationship and realized that my
actions affect you and if I'm notcommunicating about what my body's going
through or why I'm feeling this way,you're just going to end up hating me.
Yeah, I just think not understanding you.
Like before, uh, guys have some levelof understanding or comprehension

(23:03):
around what the menstrual cycle is,how it works and how it actually
affects you at a biological leveland a hormonal level and an emotional
level and add on psychologicallevel, like until you understand
that there's a lot of room for grace.
Um, and there's a lot ofroom for understanding what
you're actually going through.
Um, as well as like how a guy can bettersupport her, uh, during those different

(23:28):
phases and knowing that Um, gives greatpower to the relationship and great
power to the guy to take back, you know,the, the role of leadership as well, you
know, because in many cases, you know,if you're in a more frantic, emotional
state where he can't understand it andlike you might be getting aggressive or
frustrated or, you know, all of thesedifferent things might come out, uh,

(23:50):
naturally, like for a lot of guys, they'lljust say, well, you know, I give up.
Yeah.
Like I'll just shut my mouth.
Yeah.
I'll zip it up.
And tiptoe.
And tiptoe around and then justwait for her to get better.
Mm.
Um, but then the problem with thatis that like he steps back into the
role of the follower rather than theleader, she's there left frantic, uh,

(24:12):
trying to find support in some way.
Which makes her more mad.
Which makes her more mad ifhe's not present and around.
And then he's like, well, Ijust can't do anything right.
But plays the victim and says, well.
You know, just, she's the crazy one, I'mfine, uh, I'll just shut up and, you know,
like I said, wait for this to get better.
And it's like, from my experience,because believe me, I've done that,

(24:33):
the worst approach, the worst approach.
And like, you, you could probably givefirst tip for guys from your end, like,
in, in those states, what can we do?
All right, here's an example.
Let's use real time.
Yeah, go on.
As I mentioned earlier, I'm in the dark.
Part of my cycle, where myhormones have dropped, my happy

(24:55):
ones, where I feel amazing.
Like if you watch last month's video.
I was more playful, morehappy, more like, yeah.
And now I, I feel more directionaland you can sense it, right?
I'm less playful.
I'm more irritated and almost moreaggressive in the way that I'm speaking.
Very.

(25:16):
And if you go and watch theepisodes, you'll be able to see.
Now, I don't know which is more my trueself, the playful me or the aggressive me.
This is what we talked aboutliving in duality though, because
both are real, both are you.
Yeah.
And it's like learning how to navigatethose two different aspects of you.
Well, let's run with that again.
So how would you treat me?

(25:39):
Let's just say in the last video thatwe did in my playful self, like if I'm
playful and happy, how do you be with me?
Well, if you're going to work off, liketrying to work around my cycle, we came up
with an analogy in our own relationship.
Oh no, this is, I don't knowif you should talk about this.
This is like real likecancel culture right here.
No it's not.
Oh, I don't know.

(26:00):
It could be in a short format, butit can be taken really wrong and I'm
actually scared for you to say it.
Well, here's why I had my studies.
Okay.
Because it's not just me saying this.
This is so private right now,but you can tell them, it's fine.
This is not just me saying this, thisis actually backed up by scientific
evidence and research, sweetheart.

(26:23):
So there are several studies, um,I'll link them either on the video
or in the description of the podcast.
There are several studies whichindicate that, uh, women at
high fertility near ovulation.
Um, their interest in symmetrical menor more attractive men in positions
of power, generally they're moresexually attracted, uh, to those

(26:47):
men during that phase of her cycle.
So during ovulation, that's generally thepoint in where her libido is the highest,
and therefore she's looking for a manthat is deemed as confident, powerful, um,
uh, Um, in a position where he could be agood, um, provider or more specifically,
and what a lot of these studies talkabout is genetically, he supports the

(27:09):
traits that she would want for heryoung, which is really fascinating.
Yeah.
So it's like, you got to think froma woman's standpoint as a guy, if
you're in this phase of your cycle andyou're thinking, okay, libido is up.
I need to find someone to procreatewith, to find someone to make
with, who do I want my child to be?
Yeah.
Mm hmm.
Like, because who I pick as my partneris going to be a reflection of the

(27:32):
being that I bring into this world.
Yeah.
So it makes sense biologically andto no fault of your own, like this
is just a biological truth that it'sgoing to make sense to look for someone
that's in that position of power orauthority, someone that you respect.
And like there's plenty ofevidence to support that this
is just a true phenomenon.
But what's really interesting is in thedifferent phase of your cycle, which

(27:54):
phase, uh, leading into the, uh, lutealphase, so just before period where,
like you said, so you range between.
in the ovulation stage of beinga little bit more lighthearted,
feminine, interested in the masculine.
We talked about badboy, got some attitude.
We talked about polarity, right?
Yeah.
So if you're in a more femininestate, naturally you're going
to seek the more masculine.

(28:15):
But once you get into a more masculinestate, you're going to correct.
You're going to seek moreof the feminine in the man.
Yeah.
And there are another thing isinteresting in plenty of these studies.
I won't go through, there's too many ofthem, but I'll link a few of them around.
Plenty of these studies support thefact that away from ovulation during
menstruation, um, that's when, uh, facialfeatures in men, they tested it, facial

(28:37):
features in men become, um, like a, aman with a softer face, softer voice.
becomes more appealing and attractivein that phase of her cycle.
So this is where it gets.
So what you're saying to me right now toanswer my question is right now, while
I'm being directional and more femininity.

(29:00):
Correct.
And this, this is the balance.
And this is, this is the big strugglethat guys often have because depending on
the guy, because there, there are many.
Women that will get with a, you know,get with a guy during her ovulation
point and think that, you know, thisis the guy and all of these things
that they find attractive in him aregreat until two or three weeks later.
Yeah.

(29:20):
When now all of a suddeneverything that she once found
attractive is really frustrating.
Yeah.
And she's like, well, why can'tyou just be softer and, you know,
more emotionally in tune with me?
And, and he's like,well, this is who I am.
This is who you lovedme like two weeks ago.
She's like, well, I don't love you now.
You know what I mean?
But like when you, when you, insteadof just like, you know, discarding this

(29:41):
whole concept as, well, she's crazy.
Like you've got to understand thatbiologically, like, there are hormones
happening in her body that dictate, um,what it is that she finds desirable.
And it makes so much sense.
Changes.
Yeah.
It makes so much sense in,you know, the week before her
period and during menstruation,she's feeling more vulnerable.
Therefore she's looking for someonethat can actually take care of her.

(30:02):
Yeah.
And the person that's going to takecare of her is going to be a bit
more of the softer natured guy.
Who's going to be a bitmore nurturing towards her.
Um, and you know, those guys aretypically associated with the like,
we use the alpha beta concept, right?
Yeah.
So this is where likethe, the beta guys win.
Yeah.
Like during this phase of the cycle andlike, these are the guys that, you know,

(30:23):
women often say, Oh, he's just so nice.
I just love having him around.
Like, he's so great.
Yeah.
But then the problem is, duringthat phase of the cycle, he thinks
he's in, from a dating standpoint.
He thinks like, I've got her undermy wraps here, I'm being so nice
and playing the nice guy role.
Yeah.
Two weeks later, she flips, goes intoovulation, she starts seeking more of
the bad boy alpha, and then the poorbeta guy thinks, what the hell happened?

(30:44):
This doesn't mean that we advisedating two people at one time in
different parts of your cycle.
No, and that's a whole differentsubject when it comes to dating
versus long term relationships.
When it comes to the long termrelationship, it's important for guys
to know that because then you know,there's merit in understanding, well,
there are, there is a time where Iplay the alpha bad boy confident type

(31:05):
guy in my relationship where I'm in amore of a leadership directional role.
And then there are also times where I mustplay a little bit more nurturing, softer.
uh, emotionally in tune role inorder for us to navigate this dance.
And guys will be like, I shouldn't haveto shift my personality around her.
That's fine, don't, but see what happens.
And also let's like play it back tohow we used this in our relationship.

(31:29):
We actually gave it names.
This is what we're saying.
It's controversial.
Yeah.
This is, this is, you want to hearthis and please don't judge and
make assumptions about anythingbecause it's not what it sounds
like, but I'm going to say it.
So we have, So I have, I havedifferent personas for these two
different phases of Steph's cycleand I'm so scared to talk about this.

(31:50):
I'm going to get judged so much.
So the, so in the first phase ofyour cycle, when libido is up,
you're starting to ovulate and you'reseeking someone that's a bit more
confident, someone that's stronger,someone that you deem of, you know,
that has some level of authority.
Uh, we named that persona for me.
Chad.
And Chad's like the Chad.

(32:10):
Chad's got his hat backwards.
Chad's, yeah, Chad is likethe very stereo He's Chad.
He is Chad.
Look, there he is.
Chad, Chad is like the very,uh, stereotypical name of
like the alpha bad boy.
Yeah, those 90s like movies.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But then.
Rom coms.
Here's where it gets funny, becauseagain, I can play that persona and
that role and it works very, very wellfor the first 14 days of her cycle.

(32:34):
Yeah.
But then for the next 14 days of hercycle, if I continue to play that
role, she will, we will not get along.
Like this morning, you're being Chad.
Correct.
And like just a smart ass.
Correct.
Like smart ass.
Like not listening, just givingme backhanded comments, not being
very considerate or thoughtful.
And we ended up having a fight becauseyou said some things that triggered me.

(32:55):
Because instead of just holding backand things that don't need to be said
just then, just like went for it withyour like, I have to be right and
I'm going to show her kind of thing.
Correct.
Like I said, we do not get, I donot get this right all the time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is something to be aware of.
That's fine.
But right now, while I'mfeeling very vulnerable.
You don't want chat.
And that's something you often say.
I shed a tear this morning.
I had to fix my little makeup.

(33:16):
I'm like, look what you've done!
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
You're such an arsehole, aren't I?
You've ruined my makeup!
Two weeks later, you wouldhave found that so sexy though.
I don't know.
I don't know about that.
Maybe.
Maybe.
You're right.
We can play and do our banterthing and it's heaps of fun
and you're like having a blast.
You're like, this chick's so cool.
I'm not so cool this week.

(33:37):
I don't want you to play games.
I don't need that.
The reason why we created a persona aroundthis is so that we could communicate in
simple terms what it is that you need.
Yeah, by giving them like names.
Yeah.
And so I can also understand whatrole I should be playing and how
I can best support you right now.
Wait, you need to tell them what nathe name is for this part of the cycle.
And the persona as well.

(33:57):
So the second, yeah, the second persona.
Oh my gosh.
I'm so scared.
Okay, go.
The second persona, um, that wenamed it in the more supportive,
uh, beta type role is Dad.
Daddy.
Yeah.
No, not Daddy.
It's Dad.
Chad and Dad.
Chad and Dad.
So the Chad Dad dichotomyphilosophy, right?

(34:19):
Can you explain what Dad means?
Cause people will get this wrong.
So the Chad is the more alpha,stronger, confident, directional guy
that, you know, is doing his thing,happy doing his thing, and he wants
to take you along for the ride.
So a little bit more dominant by nature.
Dad, on the other hand, is there asthe more feminine, uh, supportive
nurturer that's willing to puthis ego aside in situations of

(34:42):
conflict when dealing with her.
Um, and just be her rock, uh,be her emotional support and
cater to her emotional needsto the best of his ability.
Yeah.
So it's just softer.
Just soft.
Yeah.
We think, we think likeChad's the hard, tough guy.
Dad's the soft, loving, nurturing guy.
Right.

(35:02):
Now.
Hmm.
Here's where it getseven more interesting.
I've talked a little bit, like, I'mtrying to think really deeply into
why this is the way that it is.
And in my opinion, I've referenced ita lot in this podcast, is that I think
that God has left clues in our biology,um, to help us understand these concepts.

(35:24):
Um, and the way in which I understandthat, if we look at the male biology,
and this is just like evidence to showwhy this is a thing and why we could
maybe consider this of great importance.
So look at the male biology.
The male genitalia has the abilityto be both soft and hard, right?
Mm hmm.

(35:44):
The female, naturally, is just,you know, purely soft, right?
Mm hmm.
So, That means that maybethere's less control, uh, in your
ability to control your states.
Whereas a guy has the ability to control,to some degree, whether he's soft or
hard, or inherently he's just going tohave different times in his life, or
different moments or situations wherehe will be soft and he will be hard.

(36:06):
But that just tells me that, like,from a spiritual concept, that
guys have to learn to be soft.
How to not only be hard,but also to be soft.
We can't just live in one way,which is where this whole Chad
Dad philosophy comes into play.
Like, we need to learn how to playboth roles in order to have harmony.

(36:26):
Harmony.
Harmony.
in our relationships.
Yeah.
And I think a lot of men willget upset that they're like, why
do we have to change ourselves?
Um, in order for us tohave peace with her.
Well, before I said, well, findout what happens if you don't.
Like I said, if you're wanting to be ina heterosexual relationship with a woman.
It's not that though.

(36:47):
It's not even just that.
I was being smart then.
But what it is, is when you lead theway and you do that, you'll find it.
she will respond better to youand actually change herself too.
So by you making the first move, she'llfollow, um, she's not going to, she's
not going to keep being awful to you.

(37:07):
If you kind of like throw your sworddown for a second, she might go, Oh,
okay, I actually feel cared by for him.
I know he's trying to help and she'llsoften up, up a little bit in my opinion.
Maybe she doesn't, maybe she does,but like it's worth the test, right?
It's worth the test, especiallyif it's something that you're
struggling with in your relationshipand you do find that she's very.
volatile and, and doesstruggle with their hormones.

(37:30):
I'd like to also couple that with the factthat maybe you can support her in getting
her hormones checked, especially as youget older, make sure that she's getting
the right vitamins, that she's dealingwith her cortisol, all that type of thing.
Or maybe that she gets like atest if she's really struggling
with pain, support her in that.
Cause that also might, it alsomight be a condition as well.
which she can't help.
There's always stuff going on with ourbodies, um, that are out of our control.

(37:52):
Some things are in control, somethings are out of our control.
Um, so have a bit of, I use this worda lot, but grace for that as well.
Um, that's my favorite word.
I think I taught you it.
Whatever.
Whatever.
During the harsher phase ofyour cycle, I often say, hey.
Just have some grace for me right now.

(38:14):
I'm trying my best.
I'm on your team.
I'm not actually working against you.
That makes me cringe when you sayI'm on your team, because my response
every time is, no, you're not.
Sometimes I don't like itwhen you like pet talk me.
I'm like Because it's so, it is so,and this is, uh, this is what I think
women might not necessarily, truly,um, Give guys credit for, assuming

(38:37):
that they're putting in some effort,for the men out there that are in a
committed relationship and doing theirbest to understand this whole concept.
Because this is such a foreign andcomplex thing for a guy to understand.
Like you've got to think if a guy isdirectional in his nature, he lives
Groundhog Day essentially the same dayevery day in terms of his hormones,

(38:58):
his hormonal patterns, and then hehas to understand this completely
different creature that has like.
weekly or daily fluctuations inhormones and changes in her mood
and all of these different things.
It is so confusing.
And like, it's confusing, but youactually like it subconsciously, depending
on the severity, because if we werejust directional, we would get bored.

(39:19):
Yeah.
That's what we talked about before.
But I think that the point that I'mtrying to make though, is that, that
the, for the guys that are trying,it is often seen from the female's
perspective or you're just an idiot.
Like you just don't get it.
But like, you fail to realise, for themen out there that are trying, like
when they say, hey listen, like, Iam on your team, or I'm really trying
to support you in the way that I knowhow, from my very limited and naive

(39:42):
perception, like I'm here, I'm withyou, I'd like to be able to support you.
You know, it's not, it's not um, I feellike a lot of guys get discredited for
their effort in that way and like womenfail to realize how complex of a thing
this is for a guy to get his head around.
Because to us, it's just our normal.
Just your normal.
We're like, why?
I don't understand whyyou're being this way.
Yeah.

(40:03):
Correct.
And there are plenty of normals for theguy that probably the female standpoint
doesn't truly understand as well.
But yeah, I think if men can reallyunderstand that, it will actually
give him, it will him a really amazingappreciation for his partner and
what she goes through, and actuallyhelps see her deeper and understand
her on a deeper level, which willtherefore bring a deeper connection.

(40:25):
But it does, it's hard.
One, I don't want to saythat this is just like easy.
It's hard, takes time, a lotof patience, and it's something
that you have to want to do.
Well, this is, this is what we spokeabout a little bit in the last episode
where the role for men and the, youknow, the, their role in the world.
isn't defined by theirbiology like it is for women.

(40:48):
Like we spoke about in episode three,um, the challenges that women face,
um, biologically outweigh men'schallenges biologically like 10 to one.
Like the fact that you have to gothrough this monthly struggle, the
fact that you have to give birth,if you choose to give birth, like
you have all of these, um, physicalhardships that you have to deal with.
And like the game for women is like, yeah.

(41:11):
Overcoming constant strugglesfrom a biological standpoint,
where it's Can I just, by the way,interrupt you before you go on?
I'd love you to, right when I'm in flow.
You did that to me before, by the way, andthen I didn't get to go back to my point.
But now that you've said that, go for it.
Say what you're going to say.
No, you go.
No.
Go, you go.
I'll give you permission, go on.

(41:32):
Is this laying down your sword?
Yes, there you go.
In real time, sword is dropped.
Okay, I was just going to say, becauseit's helpful, and I am a fitness person.
You were just saying that it affectslike everything we're, we're,
we are constantly uncomfortable.
When it comes to training, it's the same.
So like we will have these amazingsessions and then during this part of

(41:53):
the cycle, we get weak and defeated.
Like you're going to the gym, just pump.
It's always the same.
You work hard, you pump, you,you know, you do your thing.
There's no like real big changes in howstrong and weak you are, whereas for us
it is like a big decrease in strength.
And then on top of that, the whole.
dieting thing where like we're on amission, we're like getting our food

(42:14):
right, and then we have this comeupon us where suddenly we're super
hungry, an increase out of nowhere.
And you don't just wantlike, you know, more food.
You want carbs, you want sugars,like all of those things.
And then it wrecks your dietbecause you don't have as much
willpower in that time either.
And it's like going backto square one again.
Every time, every month, it'slike having to go back to, Oh,

(42:35):
I've got to start the diet again.
Oh, I've got to go back training.
It's never just Straightlining, likeit is for you guys, even just during
the smallest things, or even if whenthey're in pain, when they get their
period and suddenly they're going towork, but now they're bent over in bed.
When I say them, like I'mtalking about women, you know?
Yeah, true.
There is, there is so many biologicalhurdles that you have to overcome.

(42:57):
I was at the nail bar the other day and wewere having conversations about all this
stuff and you know, there was like thegirl doing my nail and then another girl
beside me and And, um, the girl beside megoes, Jeez, I wish we could just be men.
I'd love to be a bloke.
And then the other now girl, whowas like 18, she's like, yeah, same.
And I'm like, girls, imagineif there was like a man in the
room hearing this right now.

(43:18):
These women talking aboutwanting to be a bloke.
And I'm like, oh yes, same.
Saying myself.
'cause sometimes you guys have it so easy.
But then I know there are otherthings that aren't easy for you
guys that you struggle with,which we've also talked about.
We, yeah.
That was what we spokeabout in the last episode.
And you'll see, but in this aspect,it's like, yeah, you, so you'll, you'll
see what happened there in real time.
Yeah.
Okay.
I interrupted.

(43:39):
I, yeah, the chat in me wanted tosay, listen, lady, like my turn.
Yeah.
Allow me to lead.
Yeah.
And the normal me would go, yes.
The normal me last week wouldhave been like, okay, yep.
And like sat down, but theaggressive me's now like, no, no, no.
I just want to say it before I forget it.
So what, what happened just then?
then is the Chad in me, hypothetically,the Chad in me had to drop his ego

(44:04):
and allow you to do your thing,take lead in that specific moment.
And like, I don't think, um, I don'tthink it's often understood the
amount of willpower and emotionalintelligence that is required
for guys to be able to do that.
No, because I've gotten, I'vegotten accustomed to doing that
and learned how to do that.
And I think like one of the, Idon't do that all the time though.

(44:28):
just now.
And I've done it again.
One of the greatest benefits, one ofthe greatest benefits of being with
you and being in a relationship islearning how to dissolve the ego.
And knowing that, uh, she will alwaysreflect back to you, um, things
that you don't like about yourself.
And you've got to come to terms withwhat you do with that information,

(44:49):
because it is so easy to live a lifeBeing single, a life of short term
relationships where you never get tothe depths of understanding who you are.
And when you're in a long termrelationship, you don't have that luxury.
What did I reflect back to youjust then that you saw in me?
Um.
Yourself, you said.
Within myself, my need for control.

(45:09):
Big one, right?
So my need for to control thatconversation and get the point that I was
anxiously trying to get across, I had tohave the humility, had to be humble enough
to say, okay, allow her to do her thing.
Um, and then we can regroup later on.
So I showed you what beingcontrolling looks like to yourself.
No, but you, you, you showed me how toaddress something that would constrain

(45:30):
me in many aspects of my life, becauseif I lived my life in total control
and had zero room for flexibility.
Um, that's not going to serve me very wellbecause life is like, we talked about,
you know, women being multi directional,men being directional, you know,
there are no straight lines in nature.
So if I don't learn how to deal withthat, if I don't learn how to, you know,

(45:54):
pivot quickly in different scenarios,then what type of life am I going to live?
Like, I can't expect to be a competentleader as a guy if I don't learn how to
change and quickly adapt in certain ways.
So, like, that is one of the greatestbenefits that I've gotten from you and
the way that you are, is having, you know,firstly, a far deeper insight into myself.

(46:15):
Hence the name of this podcast,which is Life in Depth.
Like the relationship is the fastestway to uncovering the depths of
your own psyche and personalityabout yourself to better understand
yourself and evolve into what I wouldconsider a higher version of yourself.
So I'm grateful for that in you.
It just got me thinking abouta thing I saw the other day.

(46:37):
There goes my head, that way.
Is it going to be relevantor completely off subject?
No, it's just like, it just made methink what you were saying, because I
was thinking about me last time I filmed.
I have to keep going back tothat because I was, I was, um,
I felt like I was more feminine.
By the way, I'll cut you off briefly.
If you haven't seen the previous episode,make sure you go and do it and also

(46:58):
subscribe or follow, uh, on whateverchannel it is that you are listening on.
That would be an incrediblehelp and support to us and the
work that we're doing with this.
Continue.
Well, it just reminded me oflike, yeah, that, that episode.
I am coherent enough to know that whenyou're speaking, wait for him to finish.
Don't interrupt.

(47:18):
Be feminine, wait till hefinishes, then respond.
I can understand that I understand youand how you roll and how you are and
the type of personality that you are.
And that when I do that, it irritatesyou and I can withhold and wait.
And back that episode, there wasn't a lotof interrupting because I know that this
episode I'm like feeling more masculine.

(47:40):
So I'm wanting to get my pointacross and I'm less worried about
interrupting you because I don't havethat, I don't know what hormone it is.
my, I don't know, there'snot that feminine estrogen.
So yeah, now I'm more directional.
Um, and then you're havingto accommodate for that.
But I was, uh, thinking when you werespeaking about this, a, um, a tick tock

(48:01):
that I saw, it sounds like I spent a lotof tick tock time, but when I'm uploading
videos and stuff, I just can't help it.
Anyway.
So there was this lady,she was an entrepreneur.
She has a very successful business.
And she was talking in the car.
She was doing like a car talk andshe was saying how she can, um,
get her point across in meetings.
And she's like, the number one thingthat's got me to where I am today in, in

(48:24):
meetings with a lot of boardrooms withmen and me being the only female, is
I've had to learn how to talk over them.
You just got to talk over them.
She's like, to get your pointacross, just cut them off.
That's how I roll.
And she was very successful, butvery masculine in her approach
because she has to, you know.
Being a, being in business andan entrepreneur is a masculine.
Yeah, that's what I mean, but it's justamazing how women can just switch from

(48:48):
that, like me last week to like now.
But to go full circle back towhat you said initially with the
women in the nail bar who said,I just wish we could be guys.
That was the funniest conversation.
See what women, uh, maybe don't understandor give a lot of credit for with men.
And again, we talked aboutthis in the last episode is
that guys, have to voluntarilychoose their role in this world.

(49:13):
Their role and their path is not laidout for them like it is with women.
Uh, cause as we just discussedbiologically, like you have all of
these challenges you have to face.
Um, you have the ability to givebirth, like no matter how hard
I try, I can never give birth.
So if you're going to start a family, likealready there's this huge part of your
life that's mapped out to being a mother.

(49:34):
And obviously you know, guys will bea father, but how involved they are.
is dependent on them, like thereare plenty of absent fathers
who choose to have nothing todo with their children, right?
We actually watched a movie onthis last night called Let Go, I
really highly recommend seeing it.
What's interesting about thatmovie, um, is that he was

(49:54):
actually, physically present.
He was around.
He wasn't an absentee father wherehe was like, just never saw the kids.
Like he was living with them.
Um, but his presence was never there.
He was never available.
Um, and she was getting so fedup and frustrated with him.
He was off having an affairand doing all of these things
that he shouldn't be doing.
And she was taking onall the masculine roles.
She took on the entire masculine,in terms of like masculine, feminine

(50:14):
dynamics, that movie is a great watch.
Um, and eventually it had ahappy, happy and sad ending.
Um, he died of cancer.
Don't give it away.
Sorry, you can bleep that out.
Um, but yeah, she, um, he eventually cameround, woke up to the fact that, um, you
know, his presence was missing, but thisis the thing, like, this is the thing

(50:35):
that women don't necessarily understandabout men, that they're here, that
they try to the best way that they can.
But.
Like, spiritually, theycan be just an empty shell.
Like, I see it all the time, like,guys walking in supermarkets, guys
walking up the street, they're justwalking like a, like a fucking zombie.
Like, they're not, they'renot there in their body.
And, hence why, like, men are committingsuicide at three times the rate as women.

(50:58):
Like, there, there are, it might seemeasy biologically to be a guy, But,
like, the spiritual aspect of beinga guy and learning how to navigate
who he is and trying to uncover, youknow, his role and his path in this
world, like, takes you into such depth.

(51:19):
Um, deep depths of the abyss orthe unknown psychologically and
spiritually, where there is many,many dark days that guys have to face.
So just because they don't havethese biological challenges, he
still has challenges, plenty of them.
And I think, yeah, that's often,I don't know, discredited, I find,

(51:39):
hence the conversation you had.
Wouldn't it just be so easy to be men?
In some retrospects, yes.
But in many other retrospects, no.
Yeah.
And I feel like the samewith men, with women.
Of course.
Of course.
I wouldn't, I wouldn'tchoose to be a woman.
Let's put that out there right now.
Like there are, there are plentyof challenges to being a woman as
we've already just talked about.

(52:00):
But I think that there are challengesfor both parties and the better we
can understand each other with thosechallenges, hopefully the more,
what's that word, harmony, harmony,we can find in our relationships.
So, bringing it back full circle, whyshe's always mad at you, if you were to
do some summary points, Stephanie, as youknow, some actionable steps, uh, maybe

(52:23):
you can advise, uh, maybe you advise forwomen, like what are some ways that women
can communicate this to their partner?
Like, obviously first step isgetting familiar with their own
cycle, but how is it that in our ownrelationship you're able to communicate
some of these things with me?
Well, for instance, like I sayto you, you'll notice that I'm

(52:44):
feeling a little bit more snappy.
And you probably have noticedI've pulled away a bit.
It's not you, I just want you toknow, and I show you my phone.
I'm like, I'm actuallyin this part of my cycle.
Um, so I don't know, I know thingsare full on right now and there's
a lot of stress going on, but I'mjust letting you know this, so.
If we're in a fight, please,just, I'm vulnerable.

(53:08):
Like, maybe just don'tbe, I say, Chad right now.
You say, I don't need Chadright now, I need dad.
Well, yeah, that's why there'sthe code words, because then you
don't have to explain everythingand you and I know what that means.
Whereas sometimes yousay, give me some chat,
it goes backwards and then we're on.

(53:31):
It's not working now becauseyou're not in the right phase.
Yeah, it depends howmuch caffeine I've had.
But I think the thing that you'retrying to say is, uh, educate him.
Like from the female standpoint, um, it'simportant to learn yourself, but then
educate the man or the partner that you'rewith into, all of these different phases

(53:52):
and all of these different things thatyou experience, so we can understand.
I know, but then this is reallyhard because You're very rare.
I have like a friend of mine whohas seen our podcast and she's
heard you speak and she's like,that is the opposite to my partner.
He's a real blokes bloke.

(54:13):
So he's only Chad.
Yeah.
And that's fine.
But like, so what you're saying rightnow to me is that communication,
what if he doesn't want a bar of it?
Where do you go from there?
What if you have one of those blokes whereyou are trying to communicate to, and
he's just like, I'm not really interested.
What do you do then?
Because I know that there'll be peopleout there that have to deal with that.
He's not really open.

(54:34):
I think this is, um, why I spentsome time on, um, understanding
biologically this whole concept of likethe importance of what a real man is.
Like from my interpretation and mylimited understanding, um, in my
view, a true man is someone that canbe both hard and soft in different

(54:55):
scenarios to always be in some way,shape or form the leader and provider
in the situation that he is put in.
Now, leading and providing doesnot always mean bringing out your
sword and fighting the bad guys.
Like sometimes leading and providingmeans that you're in the house,
you know, with your loved one andyou're giving them a foot rub.
Like that's not a leading andproviding role, but that's a fully

(55:17):
integrated male, like someone thathas that nurturing side of themselves.
Uh, but also like someone that, you know,if the house thing got intruded, he can
stop rubbing feet and go kick some ass.
But that's good and well, but what ifyou're not with someone who's like that?
He needs to be challenged.
And I think So you shouldstill tell him and Yeah.
But this is where it getsa little bit confronting.

(55:39):
Um, we have had a few people reach out,um, after listening to this podcast and
like women especially not knowing how to.
communicate these things to theirman and saying, you know, I've tried.
I've tried to tell him this way.
I've tried to tell him thatway and he just doesn't get it.
And like, from my opinion, um, sometimesguys need to be challenged by guys.

(55:59):
Like as this whole alpha concept likeif someone's like, oh, I'm a real blokes
bloke and I'm a Chad And I'm this alphaguy like you need someone to almost out
alpha him and often like it sounds verymisogynistic But also true like often a
female won't be able to do that if he's sostuck in his ego Um, he'll just continue

(56:20):
to outpower her and out masculinize her.
So, sometimes, it's necessary tobring in a fellow guy that can
point out his flaws and say, listenman, you're fucking up, big time.
Like, you're gonna lose this womanthat you supposedly care about
because of your inadequacies andbecause of your failure to put in

(56:41):
any effort into the relationship.
This is not her fault.
This is your fault.
Have you ever beenoutelfered by another male?
I've been able to be outelfered by you.
Uh oh.
Because.
Because of the fact that, um, I think I,and often people have also pointed out,

(57:03):
like whilst I might be directional andhave a strong masculine core, if we say
that, Um, I've also got a very, I'm alsovery in tune with the feminine in me.
Um, have a deep level ofempathy and, um, desire.
a greater level of understandingof how everything works.
So when you communicate tome and give me feedback, like

(57:24):
I, I genuinely take that on.
Like my walls are not so big whereI'm like, well, yeah, screw you lady.
Um, you don't know whatyou're talking about.
You're crazy.
Like I'll really deeply think about whatit is that you say and very grateful
that I'm with you and you are someonethat is so in tune with firstly, what
you will tolerate and not tolerate.
And then also, like, giving me thefeedback that I need to, uh, grow and

(57:45):
evolve into a more integrated man.
Um, but that's where you're sayingmaybe that's a little bit rare.
Because sometimes there are somemen that are just so stuck in their,
their core masculine way that theyrefuse to be challenged by a woman.
And in that scenario, maybe that'swhen, you know, I would have
it as a non negotiable for him.
Like, listen, buddy, like youneed to go and speak to a fellow

(58:07):
guy about our relationship.
Open up about your problemsor I'm out of here.
Like, this is not working.
You know?
Yeah.
Interesting statistic that Iwas going to mention before as
well is like, divorce rates.
You know the different rates between howmany men file for divorce versus women?
I don't know the rates, but I knowthat women will divorce men first.
Yes, in most studies, most statistics,we'll find that about 70 percent

(58:28):
of divorces are initiated by women.
Mm hmm.
So this whole, going back to this whole,like, summary of this video, um, you
know, this is why she's always mad at you.
Like, if you keep her madat you, she will leave.
Yeah.
Like, she's, she's at a higherchance of leaving than what he is,
and there's many reasons for that.
But ultimately, like, if guysdon't take this seriously, like,

(58:49):
you know, who's, who do you blame?
Because guys are so, like, the guy thatrefuses to be challenged is pointing
fingers at everyone else sayingit's, it's their problem, not mine.
But like, at the end of the day, whenpush comes to shove, like, eventually
she'll take action and then you'lljust be left by your sad, sorry self.
In your basement doing God knows what.
Yeah.
If she doesn't feel heard, if shedoesn't feel valued, if she doesn't

(59:09):
feel like you care, or doesn'tfeel loved by you, or appreciated.
She'll try and find itelsewhere, unfortunately.
Of course.
Going back to it, like, howto sell a guy on this concept.
If he can actually understand thatif he can integrate both of these
elements, rather than just sitting inone camp of Chad or one camp of Dad,
like the nice guy or the quote unquotebad boy, like if you can merge those

(59:32):
things together, you become such ararity and such a sought after, um,
guy that can offer something that.
You know, 90 whatever percentof men, uh, won't be able to do.
Yeah.
And if you can understand that, then thatcomes with great power, that's for sure.
You still didn't say, like, whowas instrumental for you with that.

(59:52):
You just said that I was.
Yeah, that's true.
So you haven't had like a guy?
No, obviously my, obviously my father hasdefinitely challenged me in many areas.
Um, but I do think admittedly, like you,um, you have challenged me in many ways.
And like, this is where I can, you know.
appreciate um, that side of you.

(01:00:14):
Whereas like, I think in the firstfew years when my ego was far greater,
um, I didn't appreciate that at all.
And we would butt heads a lot more.
Um, and I would think to myself, like,just, there's nothing I can do that.
She's always mad at me.
Like I try it this way and then, youknow, we get on and then I try it
that way and then we don't get on.
And the funny thing about that isit's like, like by the time I would

(01:00:34):
catch on that it's like, okay, I needto be a little bit more nurturing.
Um, I would do that, but itmight take me a week or two to
catch on that that's a good idea.
And then you enter into the secondphase of the cycle and then you're
like, why are you just like, so nice?
Like, can't you justlike lead and do things?
Yeah.
And I'd be like, what the fuck?
Like, I just thought thatthis is what you need.

(01:00:55):
I finally worked it out.
Now you're making me change again.
I go back to that way.
And then we're just, we'realways playing catch up.
You know what I mean?
So I think once I, uh, was able to listento you drop my ego and, and understand,
uh, these concepts, like, that wasdefinitely the most pivotal thing.
Like you have, without a doubt, I'm notafraid to say that you have been the most
pivotal, um, instrument and person in mylife that's helped me uncover, uh, these

(01:01:21):
truths, um, about not only the world,but about myself and our relationship.
And like I, Thank you for that.
So you can take that on Stephanie.
Well, hopefully, uh, some of thesethings were helpful and insightful.
We covered a lot about the cycle andhow that relates to not only women,

(01:01:41):
but also men and how to navigatethe constant fluctuations, um, that
a woman inevitably has to face.
And as we mentioned before,just to reiterate that point,
like Don't try and fight it.
Don't try and dispute it.
Don't try and discard it.
Don't just sit in a placeof victimhood and say, well,
you know, it's all her fault.

(01:02:02):
Like, this is somethingthat she cannot help.
This is something thatshe has to deal with.
And the sooner you, um, recognize thatand embrace that, the sooner you can work
out how to be around that so that you canreconnect and improve your relationship.
And I think like the takeaway for me.
To simplify it is, don't be afraid tocommunicate with him what's going on.

(01:02:25):
It helps him understand andfrom our perspective, we would
love a man to be present.
During the times that he's with us,that he can switch off and connect
and it makes it a lot more easierand we feel more safe and connected,
which there in turn makes us feel morefeminine, no matter what part of our

(01:02:46):
cycle we're in, if we have connectionand presence, that's a safe feeling in
that because you feel heard and valued.
So I know we're asking a lot.
But if you can learn how togive a lot, you unlock a lot.
A very harmonious relationship.
Careful.
Keep doing it.
Harmonious.
Yeah.

(01:03:07):
Well, thank you, uh, for watchingor thank you for listening depending
on which platform you are on.
If you're on the podcast platforms,please follow the page and
leave us a rating and review.
That would be incredibly helpful.
If you're on YouTube, please subscribe.
Uh, leave a comment below if there'ssomething that you would like, uh,
talked about that we haven't talkedabout so far or if you have any
feedback, we would love to hear it.

(01:03:29):
Um, like the video, do whateverelse it is that you do.
Make sure you go andcheck out, uh, these guys.
We're very appreciative of, uh, Nexus.
Nexus Nutrition.
Uh, I've finished my drink, or just about.
One more sip and I'm done.
I've got half left.
Yeah, well there you go.
Make sure you go check those guys out.
Um, otherwise, Stephanie.
Until next time, thanks for tuning in.

(01:03:49):
Thanks for supporting our page.
Thanks for hearing us and understanding.
Don't take the Chad Dad thing too far.
When I say that, I mean, meaning like,don't look, make it something that
it's not, because it's not like that.
Um, yeah, until next time.
Catch you later.

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