Long Distance, Bit Weird
Comedians and long-distance lovers Sooz Kempner (Doctor Who’s Doom’s Day, Dinner With the Parents) and Michael Balazo (Schitt’s Creek, Evil Men) live on different continents. Seeing as they spend hours each day talking on FaceTime, they thought they might as well start a podcast and monetize their relationship. Each week, Sooz and Michael talk to a comedian guest friend from Britain or Canada about life, love and weird stuff.
Episodes
Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. OK.
This week Sooz tells Michael the unbelievable story of England's immortal football anthem Three Lions. How did it happen? Why is it so suffused with melancholy? Will the guys ever record a new version? And what is Vindaloo? Listen to find out!
But first: Mic...
Hello LDBW listeners! With the start of the 2026 World Cup just hours away, we decided to adorn your podcast feed with Michael Balazo's new song "Canada is Balls." This song is designed to unite Canada as the country prepares to win the World Cup.
There's even a slick music video for "Canada is Balls," with editing and graphics by Sooz Kempner. CLICK HERE TO WATCH IT!
Good luck, everybody!
Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. Please give generously.
This week Sooz and Michael welcome veteran quizmaster/brother Terrance Balazo to the show to talk about all things pub quiz. When did they start? Has technology made cheating inevitable? And why do pub quizzes make certain nerds lose thei...
In this week's bonus episode, Sooz tells Michael all about The Great Stink of 1858, when the River Thames was so full of sewage and the sun was so hot that London got too stinky and parliament couldn't operate. Bit on the nose, lads! Literally. This is just a preview of course. To hear the full episode and gain access to all of our exclusive content please head to our Patreon. Thanks!
Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. Hot Stuff.
This week Michael tells Sooz about one of the rudest chapters in Canada's history: the October Crisis of 1970, when, after a seven-year bombing campaign, the militant Quebec separatist group the Front de libération du Québec (FLQ) kidnapped British di...
Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. At time of publishing, 1 Canadian dollar is worth 0.54p.
This week Sooz tells Michael the story of beloved British children's television series Rainbow. Created as a British response to Sesame Street, Rainbow aired from 1972-1992. And while Rainbow lacked Sesame...
In this week's bonus episode, Sooz tells Michael what a Grogu is.
Please enjoy this free episode preview, where Sooz has done some research so that she and Michael, both of whom aren't interested in Star Wars, aren't left behind in the pop culture.
If you want to hear the entire episode AND gain access to all of our bonus content, support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon.
Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. But only one is human...
This week Michael tells Sooz about the 30-40,000 young American war resisters or "draft dodgers" who decided to move to Canada instead of fighting/dying in the Vietnam War. How did the draft work? Why Canada? What type of criticism did w...
Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. Please enjoy this!
This week we're unlocking a recent Patreon bonus episode in which Sooz reads Michael some incredibly unerotic sex columns from Metro, the UK's free commuter tabloid. If you close your eyes, you can pretend you're on an overcrowded bus... or tu...
Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. Haha.
This week is a treat for fans of the popular "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News" segment, as Michael reads THREE magnificent missives that touch on subjects like tiny knives, restaurant renovation and signed garbage. Then, Sooz turns up the heat ...
In this week's bonus episode, Sooz tells Michael some little-known facts about Michael Jackson aka the King of Pop.
Please enjoy this free episode preview, where Sooz recounts MJ's thwarted attempts to become a movie star by playing Spider-Man, Jar Jar Binks, Willy Wonka and Peter Pan.
If you want to hear the entire episode AND gain access to all of our bonus content, support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon.
Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. Two people from two radically different cultures.
This week, writer and podcaster Jesse Hawken drops by to talk about some VERY lucky Canadian musicians who benefited from the government's Canadian Content (CanCon) rules.
Implemented under Pierre Trudeau's gover...
Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. Gross!
This week, British comedy icon Robin Ince stops by to talk about the importance of comedy in dark times, how he's stayed in love with standup, being an artist with a conscience, Chris Hadfield's impossible bicycle... and MORE!
GOOD NEWS: an extended...
In this week's bonus episode, a sex columnist from Britain's free METRO newspaper is shocked by the trailer for the new season of Euphoria. Sooz and Michael ask when on-screen nudity and off-screen diapers are justified.
If you want to hear more, you can get the whole episode on Patreon here!
Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. Haha.
This week's episode is a major treat for flag fans, as Sooz and Michael tell the shocking and sexy stories behind the Union Flag and the noble Maple Leaf. Feel free to salute while listening.
BUT FIRST: a frank discussion about the Artemis II space mission...
Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. Cowabunga, dude.
This week, Michael tells Sooz all about late Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau's insane/glamorous love life. From beauty queens to actresses to singers and even teenagers, Swinging Pierre dated or married them all! He was a man who truly lo...
In this week's bonus episode, Sooz reads Michael a selection of NOT VERY EROTIC sex columns from Britain's free METRO newspaper. OOH, SEX!
If you want to hear more, you can get the whole episode on Patreon here!
Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. It's like something out of sci-fi.
This week, Sooz sits Michael down and tells him about the glorious rise and regrettable fall of the British Seaside town. In the 18th and 19th centuries, coastal towns like Brighton, Southend-on-Sea and Blackpool became fashion...
Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, the new podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. And the police can’t do a thing about it.
This week, Sooz and Michael welcome comedian Masud Milas aboard to talk about what it was like to move to the UK after growing up in both Hong Ko...
Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, the new podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. It's a nice moment for the Commonwealth.
This week, Sooz tells Michael about the history of squatting in Britain. Until 2012, you could legally occupy an unused building for FREE. As in, zero money. This situation allowed activists, artists, hippies, punks...
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