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June 12, 2024 โ€ข 28 mins

Welcome back to another heartfelt episode of Loser Talk with Lar! Larry kicks things off with a warm welcome and an exciting update about the Loser Link Letter, a monthly newsletter packed with information, challenges, and spotlights on community members. If you haven't signed up yet, head over to theevolutionoflarry.com and join the Loser family.

In this episode, Larry shares touching stories about Father's Day, reflecting on the complex relationships with father figures in his life. From the poignant tale of his biological father's sudden departure to the enduring love and lessons from his stepfather, George, Larry explores how these experiences have shaped him.

Larry also opens up about his cherished fur children, each with their unique stories and personalities. From the feisty Chiweenie, Elby, to the gentle and loving Rigley, and the shy but affectionate cat, Cuddles Marie, Larry's tales of his pets add a warm and personal touch to the episode.

Don't miss out on joining the Larry's Losers community on social media for exclusive content and updates. Follow Larry on Instagram at LarrysLosers22 and on Facebook at The Evolution of Larry. Remember to request access to the VIP group for all the latest happenings.

As the episode wraps up, Larry leaves us with some words of wisdom: "Becoming a dad is one thing. Being a dad is many things." Tune in next time for more inspiring stories and community connections. Love you all!

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Music.

(01:06):
Just hear that Larry's Losers Orchestra come coming to you.
Come on, it's perfect timing for Larry's Losers Orchestra for you.
Oh, Lord. Aren't they fabulous?
Oh, my God. Larry's Losers Orchestra always coming in hot and fresh,

(01:32):
fresh, like that favorite pizza right out of the brick oven,
sliced up and ready to devour. Ding.
Delish. Mmm. Yes.
Give it up. Yeah. Delish. Give it up for the Larry's Losers Orchestra. a straw. Yeah.

(01:58):
Yeah. Yeah. Yes.
Wonder what flavor of pizza they would be. Wonder what flavor they'd be. Yum.
I'll let you decide. You all tell me. Yes. Anywho. What are we talking? Oh, anyway, welcome.
I'm so excited you are all here with me.

(02:21):
I had to take the last week off, week and a half, whatever it was.
I missed you all desperately.
I was so busy getting our Loser Link letter together and out to everyone by
June 1st, and it happened.
So if you didn't sign up, make sure you get signed up for our July 1st Loser Link letter.

(02:45):
Anyway, our first ever Loser Link letter was sent out, and it was so beautiful. It really was.
It's our newsletter that keeps everyone informed.
And I hear you asking, well, Larry, how do I get this loser link letter?
And you know what? I'm so glad you're asking.
So thanks for asking.

(03:07):
All you have to do is go to the evolutionoflarry.com, which is my own website,
the evolutionoflarry.com.
Scroll down to where it says leave your email and do just that. Leave your email.

(03:27):
July will produce another loser link letter and you will be on the list to receive it.
Now, be ready when you leave your email because you will receive a prompt asking
you, are you sure you want to sign up? So click heck yes.
Heck yes, I do want to sign up or whatever the prompt is. And then you are all set.

(03:54):
You are on the loser list. Yay.
The link letter is there to provide all the information of all the happenings.
We have a Loser Luminary. That's shining a spotlight on one of our losers,
getting to know them better.
We have a Nature Scavenger Hunt Challenge this month.

(04:16):
It tells the topic of Larry's Loser's Masterclass Zooms, which everyone is invited.
So lots of information in one link letter.
Get signed up, theevolutionoflary.com. That's our website.
That is new, and I'm slowly developing it, so it's ever-changing.

(04:41):
Keep checking it out. Always new information forthcoming on the website.
I also would love it if you would follow me on my socials, LarrysLosers22 on
Instagram, The Evolution of Larry on Facebook.
And don't forget to ask to be in our private Larry's Losers VIP group on Facebook

(05:06):
for all the exclusive content.
Our Larry's Losers family gathers there with all sorts of ways to lift each
other up and support each other on our health and wellness journeys.
We even have our own, like I was talking about, Masterclass Zooms.
Everyone, everyone is invited to join us. All kinds of fun ways to connect.

(05:33):
If you're liking the work of this podcast, I have left my Venmo link for a donation.
And on Facebook, the website, there are other ways to gift also.
I also appreciate, so, so, so appreciate you being with me. Thank you.
Can you believe it's June? I mean, the year, I don't even want to say it.

(05:55):
It's Father's Day. It's June.
It's time to celebrate those fathers we had or didn't have, right?
We had or didn't have in our lives. It's time to celebrate ourselves.
If we are the father figure, I will be your father, right?
I'm going to celebrate all of it. I am going to be celebrating all of it.

(06:21):
The father that vanished, the father that was there for me, and me being the father the figure.
Now you decide what all categories you are going to celebrate.
I want you to pick as many categories as you can, even the darkness, like I did.

(06:41):
You know I always talk about the darkness. Pick it and let it work for you.
Acknowledge it. Bring it to the light and let's talk about it.
So relax, pick all your categories, think about all of that,
and we will chat about it after I tell you my Father's Day stories.

(07:08):
If you've been listening to my podcast, you know my father, Larry,
yep, that was his name too, left us when I was three years old.
We lived in Atwood, Illinois.
He worked on the railroad, B&O Railroad.
So he was traveling all the time on the railway.

(07:31):
One day he just disappeared. Mom just had her gallbladder ripped from her stomach.
Literally ripped from her stomach.
I'm describing it that way because back then, in 1972, that's exactly what happened.
You should have seen her incision and what she had to recover from.

(07:52):
It was the entire length of her stomach. So she was bedridden,
and he just disappeared.
She had three kids. I was three, my brother was 12, and my sister was 13.
So my sister became head of household until mom could do more.
Mom had no idea where dad was. He just disappeared.

(08:16):
Can you imagine the heartache and the worry and the stress and all of it?
So back then, the rotary phone was the only communication.
Our family was 60 miles away in Montezuma, Indiana.
Our grandparents came to help. Mom's mom, Grandma Vandiver, was there with us.

(08:37):
And my father's mom, Grandma Garrett, was there with us too.
Even though her son abandoned us, she never did.
She was so angry with him and disgusted.
Eventually, when Mom could move, move around and walk, Grandma Garrett knew
where my father was staying.

(08:58):
He was in Indianapolis renting an apartment.
And she gave Mom the address and told Mom to go. Go.
Go confront him and find out what was happening. What was the deal?
To have some closure for her. So off Mom went.

(09:22):
We stayed with Grandma. Mom drove to Indianapolis.
And my father wasn't home at the time. So when mom got to his apartment,
she told the landlord the story, and he let her into his apartment.
She looked around, went through his things, found a cocktail napkin in the trash

(09:43):
can with a woman's name and phone number on it, Jean.
It turned out that's who he had been dating and left his wife and three kids for.
They ended up getting married. That's the gene I had talked about in a previous podcast.

(10:04):
So what did mom do?
She stripped down, got in his bed, and waited for him to get home.
He finally came home, and there mom was, and she said, hi, Larry.
Your wife has been waiting for you. Ha ha ha.
And I mean, there's so many moments that my mom, I'm so proud of her for.

(10:28):
I just am so proud of my mom for that moment.
For many, many moments, my mom just blows my mind.
But for that moment, I just am like, bingo, mom.
Way to go. What a fantastic.
Anyway, she's like, hi, Larry, your wife has been waiting for you.

(10:50):
Oh, my father, if he would have known, it was the perfect thing for her to do.
My father had no backbone. He just up and left and didn't tell her, right?
And so there she was. So the coward to leave three kids and just disappear like
that, and for her to confront front him and to let him know that,

(11:10):
no, you aren't going to do that.
You will face me.
She was so strong and so incredibly authentic.
I just can't put into words her strength. My father's lack of backbone guided
me and really taught me so much my whole life. it drove me to do great things.

(11:36):
My brother and sister, on the other hand, did the opposite. They inherited the
no backbone, the no fight, the run from everything.
I saw that in them, and it taught me to face everything, to stand up and fight just like my mom did.
And I'm so grateful for that lesson. What a huge lesson in life.

(12:02):
When I was five, Mom remarried.
George, that was my stepdad, and we moved to the farm.
George was much different than my father, and that's exactly what mom was going for, I can imagine.
He was tough and rough. He was a boilermaker, raised from a huge family,

(12:22):
had an abusive mother, very poor family.
They were all very rough, much different than our family.
So it was an interesting combination, to say the least.
Dad had the biggest heart, so loving. He loved kids, loved children.
I was the youngest, so I was the baby always.

(12:43):
He and I were always so very close. I was always much different than all the other kids.
There were eight of us. I was more delicate, had all kinds of ailments,
allergies, and asthma, and I was just different than what he was used to.
He was used to boys, manly boys that could be rough and do rough things.

(13:06):
And I wasn't that boy. And he accepted that. He didn't really fight against
that like some men would have.
Some manly men would have, oh, that sissy that would have come up with all kinds
of things to fight against that.
But he did not do that.
As I got older, he really valued my mind.

(13:28):
He loved that about me and loved that I did so well in school.
He was so very proud of that. He
loved my music and supported our music at school, which was a major deal.
Trust me. He even went to the school board to fight to keep our band director
when our schools merged.
He knew I was passionate about our band director and what he had done for our

(13:52):
school and our program and how important it was.
And he fought for that. That That really meant so much to me.
When I was accepted to Berkeley, he did not flinch. He and mom just worked it out and supported me.
It truly is amazing when you think about it. I was completely different than he ever experienced.

(14:16):
I wasn't like any of his other children. He had a hard time understanding me,
especially later in life.
But he never, ever criticized me or attacked me because I was different.
I just find that so fascinating. And for all of his faults, he truly was not nice to mom at all.

(14:39):
But he didn't come after me. He just let me be me.
But for mom, he was not nice. He was demanding.
And even though he loved her with all his heart, he really was not good to her.
I understand why she chose him, though. Stability.

(15:00):
She had a safe haven for her kids, finally. And that was all she cared about.
She didn't care what she had to sacrifice. As long as the kids were taken care of, and we were.
I ended up moving home and helping mom take care of dad when his doctor's appointments
were becoming way too much for her.

(15:20):
He was deciding to have a second open heart, which we didn't agree with, but that was up to him.
And I moved home to help to try to give her some rest from all the traveling
to and from and all the demands.
It was so much, so much. He was so much. He was so much, so demanding.

(15:42):
He couldn't do the things he always did, be outside constantly in his garden
or fishing or hunting or on the go 24-7. So he was angry.
Which I understand. He was angry at the world.
He was upset and anxious, so he took it out on us, mostly her.
He didn't take it out on me, but I was there for the situation,

(16:05):
so I guess he did. It was very hard.
We got through it, though, and we got him through it.
It was a long process, but we did it, and we were able to keep him at home where
he left us, and I'm proud of mom and myself for doing it.
We were getting so run down at the end, and we didn't have much left in us,

(16:28):
but we made it, and I'm so glad we could do that for him.
Do you have fur children? My family has always been drawn to animals.
I've always grown up with dogs, cats, lived on a farm with all different types
of animals, and loved every single one of them.

(16:50):
So when I went out on my own, I thought, of course I had to have animals around me.
Not realizing I was young and dumb, no clue or direction in life.
I could barely keep myself alive, so I probably shouldn't be trying to care
for other living things.
Now that I look back on all those animal souls that were with me,

(17:13):
I have so many, so many deep regrets, so much heartache.
I love those animals with all my heart, but wasn't able to give them the lives
or attention they deserved.
And I'm so regretful. It hurts me. It hurts. All I can do now is when I know better, I can do better.

(17:33):
My fur children are my world.
I have Elby. He's going to be eight this year.
He's a Chiweenie, a Chihuahua and Dachshund mix that I inherited from mom.
He and Wrigley, who is my 12-year-old Jack Russell Terrier, loved each other
from the very first sight, which was very unusual because Elby didn't like any other dogs at all.

(18:01):
He hated them. But when he met Wrigley, that was a different story. Lori.
Mom initially got Elby, who had been my brother's dog, but thankfully,
trust me, he had to be given up to mom.
So mom took him, and the rest is history.
And Wrigley and I went to see mom at least once a week. So here we come, Elby.

(18:24):
My God, they would play. My God, the playing, the energy in that living room
and outside playing with the ball.
It was overwhelming and fun. The last few months that mom was still here,
she was transitioning to my niece's home so we could care for her there.
And I took LB here at my house. He was so depressed.

(18:47):
He was so happy to have Wrigley and Wrigley was so sweet.
He made room for LB in our bed.
Wrigley slept with me, of course. All those years in bed with me,
Wrigley right by my side. But when Albie came, he let him decide where he wanted
to be, and Wrigley was okay with whatever decision he made.

(19:11):
The dogs all knew what was happening in our family, and I'm sure of it.
And Wrigley knew he had to make the best of it, and he was game for anything.
As long as he had me, he didn't care what happened.
For three months, Elby was mad and depressed. We had some major battles during

(19:33):
that time and lots of love to try to bring him down from his saddened anger.
And finally, one day, he just adapted.
He's gained weight, he's muscular now, and he's doing great.
He's feisty and fiery, little butthole, just like any chihuahua.

(19:55):
He likes to ignore me and challenge me.
He's also my kisser. My God, the kissing.
At night, he sleeps in my left armpit. That's where he slept the first night,
and that's where he sleeps every night.
I'm blessed. I'm so blessed to have him as part of our family.
My next child is Cuddles Marie. She's my black and white tuxedo cat.

(20:19):
She will be 15 this year. She's a feral cat that we rescued from under a bush at her family home.
It was pouring rain, she and her sister, tiny little kittens shivering in the rain.
So tiny, barely a few weeks old. Their mother had just been killed by a car.
We took them in and they were full of fleas. We were farm folks,

(20:43):
so we handled everything.
So mom treated them for fleas and we hand fed them until they were big enough
to eat on their own, which did not take long.
Cuddles took to me. Her sister never really took to humans at all.
And listen, I don't blame her.
But Cuddles loved mom and me. Mom named her.

(21:05):
Cuddles loved me and my beard. She always wanted me to hold her so she could cuddle.
There's her name. Snuggle my beard.
I think it gave her that sense of comfort and security that her mother would
have given her. I totally understand.
So with anyone else, she's still very skittish. She runs and hides.

(21:27):
Very shy, but she loves her Wrigley. And Wrigley loves her.
And finally, she and Elby love each other and play almost every day.
But that wasn't so when Elby first came.
Oh my God, it was a total nightmare.
Cuddles, any time I would sit down was on my lap. That was her spot, my lap.

(21:49):
Well, not anymore. more. Elby has changed that.
That is dog dominated now.
Wrigley has always laid to the left side of me. That's not changed.
And Cuddles would be on my lap. Well, now Elby gets the right side.
He's chased her out of the living room.
So that was the Garrett household drama for the first year and a half.

(22:12):
But it's calmer now. We have our routines, okay?
Cuddles gets the living room at night when we go to bed. She gets the bedroom
during the day when we are up, etc.
It's a very tried and true system.
She's my sweet, sweet girl. She still nestles my beard. I love my sweet, sweet girl.

(22:35):
I've saved my Wrigley for last. Wrigley just takes my breath away.
I can't even put it into words. Wrigley came into my life in March of 2012.
It was height of stress. Mom and I were taking care of dad.
Dad was on hospice and mom just had to have a Jack Russell Terrier.

(22:57):
And my niece just happened to know somebody that had puppies.
So mom went to see them and Wrigley jumped out at her, literally,
and it was love at first sight.
So Wrigley began as mom's dog, although mom's path was soon to take many directions
that would lead away from Wrigley, and my path in life would take me right to Wrigley.

(23:21):
Dad was leaving us that September. He had his second open-heart surgery and his body was tired.
We were all tired from the 20-plus years of doctors and hospitals and medications
and ambulances and on and on and on.
The fight came to an end and mom found a new life, a lighter,
happier life she deserved.

(23:42):
And I found a new life out on my own, but with Wrigley.
Me and Wrigley out to conquer the world. He has taught me so much.
He has done so much for me.
I've never experienced a relationship like this one with him.
He stares at me constantly.

(24:03):
He knows every sound I make, every move I make.
Wait, I should write a song. He'll be watching me.
I just wrote that down. Okay. Anywho, He is just in tune with me. Get it? Okay.
In a way, I've never experienced.

(24:26):
He and I had years and years of exercise. My God, the exercise,
the walking, the running, the ball playing.
He is obsessed with playing ball so much that now at 12 years old, he can't play anymore.
It's so sad. It's so sad. And we can't go on walks anymore.
Like me, he has arthritis and he has it so bad that his hind leg,

(24:49):
his paw is turning when he walks and it bothers him and it causes it to rub.
So now he has to wear a boot all the time.
We just found this out recently.
I sobbed and sobbed at the vet when given the news.
I'm not dealing well with his aging. I can't handle all this very well.

(25:10):
Life without Wrigley doesn't make any sense to me, just like life without mom.
And to now get closer and closer to be faced with both of them not being around?
My God, help me. Wrigley has always been my comfort.
My comfort since I started caring about myself, loving myself.

(25:32):
He was waiting for me the night mom left me, and I rushed home to be with him
so he could be with me and comfort me during the darkest of darks.
It's always been Wrigley, now that I've grown up and understood life more clearly.
My child, my Wrigley.

(25:52):
So there you have it, my Father's Day overview.
So what does your Father's Day story tell about you?
Mine gave me drive and tenacity and strength.
What are some words that you can find from your story? Find your story and let it write itself for you.

(26:15):
Figure out what the father figure did and didn't contribute to that story.
But most of all, how did it help form the you that are you now?
Ask yourself the question and see what you learn about you. It's fascinating.

(26:36):
Don't forget to follow Larry's Losers on Instagram,
The Evolution of Larry on Facebook, and ask to join our private Larry's Losers VIP group,
where you'll get all the exclusive information about our Loser Masterclass Zooms.

(26:59):
Anyone wanting to lose weight or on a health and wellness journey is invited to join us.
I'm also so proud of my new website.
TheEvolutionOfLarry.com Please check
it out Leave your email to sign up for our loser link letter Our monthly email
newsletter That has all the news of health and happy It will be sharing it all

(27:25):
So make sure you're on the list Leave your email All kinds of fun stuff to see on the website sight.
Now, before I leave you, here's some words of wisdom.
Becoming a dad is one thing.
Being a dad is many things.

(27:47):
Thank you so much for listening. See you next time. Love you all.
Music.
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