Single Lar

Welcome to the seventh episode of Loser Talk with Lar, a frank and motivational journey of self-discovery. In today’s heartfelt episode, Larry opens up about his personal struggles, the peculiarities of human relationships, and the difficulty some of us have when faced with being alone.

Sharing the emotional roller-coaster of his developmental years, right from dealing with harrowing family tragedies to battling complicated health issues, he presents a raw and honest examination of his past. Touching upon his unique relationship with his mother and how it shaped him into the fiercely independent individual he is, Larry demonstrates the strength and resilience it took for him to finally begin enjoying his own company. Drawing on this, he examines the problematic side of his independence, especially when it comes to his struggle with entering and maintaining relationships.

Chock-full of self-reflective questions, this episode is bound to make you question your own relationship with yourself. Shedding light on the importance of finding contentment in your own company, Larry encourages his listeners to bravely confront their insecurities and fears about being alone.

Feel at home in our supportive community by following Larry on Instagram at LarrysLosers22, on Facebook at The Evolution of Larry, and immerse yourself in our exclusive private group, Larry's Losers VIP. Engage in enlightening discussions, seek guidance on your health and wellness journeys and join the Zoom sessions. Donations are always welcome via Venmo and Facebook.

In this journey of self-discovery and embracing solitude, discover how unlonely being alone can indeed be. Striving to develop yourself into someone you love being alone with, is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. Come join us aboard this fascinating journey towards genuine self-acceptance and inner peace. Love and Light.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Music.

(01:06):
So, there's the Larry's Losers Orchestra, making me proud like they always do.
I dressed them in their yellow daisy band uniforms this week.

(01:27):
So bright, so beautiful, so spring. ring and I said, don't go out there and embarrass me, kids.
And they didn't. Look, they're beautiful and they sound gorge as usual.
Let's celebrate them. Let's celebrate them.

(01:50):
Celebrate them. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Yes. Welcome. Thank you so much. Welcome.
Welcome to the seventh offering of Loser Talk with Lair, losing a lot more than
just weight. Thank you for tuning in.

(02:12):
And I have an an upper respiratory thing.
If I'm sounding sexy and raspy and I'm sounding like a 900 number and I'm starting
to turn you on, please start paying by the minute.
Please start paying by the minute. That's okay. If I get it, I get it.

(02:33):
So if I'm raspy, just start paying by the minute. My Venmo is on here.
Everyone, listen, you've all been tuning in. Everyone has embraced this this podcast.
It has been overwhelming. I'm so thankful.
This is a big part of my healing journey and also it helps my creative process immensely.

(02:55):
I'm so grateful to all of you for coming along with me on this path.
There's more ways to stay connected though with me. More ways.
Follow me me on Instagram at LarrysLosers22, on Facebook, The Evolution of Larry,
and on there, ask to join our exclusive private group, LarrysLosers VIP.

(03:19):
Our loser family gathers there to help each other on our health and wellness journeys.
And this is so cool. We've been having so much fun and learning so much.
We even have our own Zooms.
It's open to everyone.
So join us. Get in the VIP group for all the information.

(03:43):
And there's even more ways to connect with me.
If you're liking the work of this podcast, I have provided my Venmo link.
There's also more ways for you to leave donations on Facebook.
I'm so grateful for you being with me.
Are you in a relationship with yourself? Now think about that question, okay?

(04:09):
Do you like yourself enough that when you are alone,
think about this, when you're alone, you aren't going crazy to try to find something
or someone to distract you from you.
Some of us do that with food or other things because we can't stand ourselves.

(04:34):
What would it take for you to sit comfortably with yourself alone in peace and quiet and be happy?
Think about those questions. We will get back to those questions.
And here's just a part of my story. This is how my story goes, okay?

(04:57):
So if you remember a few weeks ago, When I started these podcasts,
and that first podcast was called The Beginning of Lair, I gave you a glimpse
of a pivotal moment in my developmental years as my father left us when I was three.
But I had totally blocked, I can't believe this, I totally blocked out the fact

(05:20):
that just a few short years before that,
four years before, mom and my father had to grieve the loss of my sister, Lara.
She lived to be six months old. She was born without a heart muscle.
It basically was a blob that wasn't formed completely.

(05:41):
So it didn't function enough to keep her alive.
She died in mom's arms, six months old.
I mean, I can't even imagine the pain and the suffering of the entire family,
the husband and wife, the brother and sister, the whole family unit.
And then a year later, I appear.

(06:03):
I mean, think about that. As I look back on that, I'm not really sure how I feel about that.
Not really sure why I think I need to feel any certain way.
It happened and I'm here, but hello, grief and sadness and pain.
And then, hi, my name is Larry. Nice to meet you.
Don't worry about me. I promise I won't die.

(06:25):
But here's the thing, parents. Parents, every so often, I'm going to stop breathing
and turn blue because I was born with severe asthma.
So there's that. Good luck. They had to be terrified of me.
They had to be so scared of me and rightfully so.

(06:47):
My niece just sent me a quiz today. This is so weird.
The quiz today was about attachment styles. We were talking on the phone about this.
I seriously had planned to do this podcast this week about being alone and not
having relationships and blah, blah, blah.
And here this is, bam, once again, the universe directed me this way.

(07:09):
So I learned a lot today about my relationship with my mom and it explained
a lot and made made me understand the situation I grew up in,
because I've had a lot of questions as I've gone through life.
I wish she were here now so we could talk about it. Now, she wouldn't want to.
She'd say, Larry, why are we talking about this? She would, you know,

(07:31):
but I would say, because I want to, and we would end up talking about it. But yeah, anyway.
So I was always so independent.
I played by myself when there were other kids around.
I always wanted to be with the adults. I felt bored with kids.
They didn't challenge me. They were boring.
I was always the special one, the baby. Everyone went to school in Rockville.

(07:57):
They rode the school bus. Mom didn't want that for me. So every morning she
would drive me into another town.
Montezuma was the school that I went to that she wanted me to go to.
That's where she wanted. And so that's where I went to school.
She always treated me special, but from a distance. It's hard to explain.

(08:19):
She wasn't mean or I don't know. She loved me.
I was special. She never got involved.
She was involved from a distance. Now with my brother and sister,
she was involved with everything.
They were always needing her or needing bailed out of something.

(08:40):
I was always excelling in school and doing well at something,
and she expected that from me from a distance.
Mom and I couldn't have been closer.
We were so much alike. And as we got older, of course, our walls came down and
our relationship grew even closer.
Her parenting from a distance has made me fiercely independent,

(09:04):
controlling, controlling, confident.
It's given me lots of positives. It's actually helped me as I started liking
and loving myself because I absolutely love being alone.
But there lies the problem also. I'm horrible at relationships. I hate them.

(09:27):
Honestly, I hate relationships.
They are tedious to me.
It's too much to worry with. What are they doing? Who are they with?
Who are they doing it with? Why aren't they where they're supposed to be?
Who are they supposed to be doing it with? What are they supposed to be doing?
Et cetera. I don't trust anyone.

(09:49):
I don't have time for all of that. I never have.
It doesn't interest me. It actually makes my head and my stomach hurt just thinking about it.
I want things done my way when I want it.
But then I have my own selfish side too. I'm getting scared.

(10:11):
I'm not getting any younger, and I have no one to take care of me or my pet babies.
What's going to happen? That scares me, and I hate it.
But it's not fair to latch on to somebody just to have them around as a caretaker.
Although I know people do it all the time.
I just am not able to do that at this point.

(10:32):
See, there's lots to sort out here. There's lots to think about.
It's a constant thinking process in motion.
That's why this is called a journey, right?
So as I sit and ponder all this, I don't blame mom for keeping me at arm's length,
but loving me fiercely in that new way she had to learn.

(10:54):
I honor that and I'm grateful that she helped me become the strong,
independent human I am today.
She and I had a bond stronger than I could ever explain. I never felt a lack of love.
She was amazing. amazing.
I am excited that I'm continuing on this health and wellness journey,

(11:15):
learning all the time, that I'm allowing myself to be open to the fact that
I don't know everything.
Wait, did I just say that? Did I just say that I don't know?
Okay. I don't know everything.
There, I said it. And I'm learning new ways to become.
I do know that being alone is a safe, happy space for me and that is okay.

(11:42):
I will continue to learn and grow.
And maybe someday down the road, I'll allow space for someone else or maybe not.
I always allow the universe to guide and direct me on this path.
Now let's go back to those beginning questions and ask yourself,

(12:03):
do you like yourself enough to be alone?
Can you be alone without seeking taking out others or other things to distract you?
Are you at peace with you?
Really think about your relationship with yourself.
Really think about it. Maybe you'll learn some things like I did.

(12:27):
Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship relationship you'll ever be in.
And if it's not, there's an issue because it should be.
So put in the work because you are worth it.
Now let the universe guide and direct you to my Instagram at LarrysLosers22.

(12:48):
The Evolution of Larry on Facebook.
And please ask to join our private, exclusive LarrysLosers VIP group on Facebook.
I want to invite you to our Zooms.
Our loser family gathers to help each other on our health and wellness journeys

(13:08):
on Zoom. And everyone is invited.
Join us. Please like, rate, review, follow, download, all the things.
And leave a donation if you're liking this podcast.
I've left my link for Venmo here and on Facebook. There's lots of other ways to give.

(13:28):
I'm so grateful to all of you. Thank you so much.
Before I leave you, here's some words of wisdom.
What a lovely surprise to discover how unlonely being alone can be.

(13:52):
How unlonely being alone can be.
Thanks so much for listening. See you next time. Love you all.
Thank you.

(14:16):
Music.