May 22, 2025 • 27 mins
Long before Married At First Sight took over Australia, viewers were obsessed with watching couples fall in love on The Bachelor. While most ‘winners’ walked away from the reality show being adored by the public, this wasn’t exactly the case for season four’s Alex Nation in 2016, who became the most hated woman in Australia.
As she joins this week's episode of Confessions Of A Reality Star, Alex reflects on how wild things got back then, why she and Richie Strahan broke up, and what really happened when they reunited on Bachelor In Paradise.
Check out Lachlan and Tahlia's first season of Confessions Of A Reality Star and drop them a follow on Instagram too. Audio production by Sophie Coghill.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, and welcome back to the Maths Many podcast who
with me Joshua Fox and today my friends, I have
a treat for you guys as fans of Australian reality television,
because you know how when we think of like villains
and backlash, like maths automatically just comes to mind these days,
right Well, I was recently talking to Lachlin and Talia
(00:22):
who hosted Confessions of a Reality Star podcast on this feed,
about what it was like before married a first site
in this country, which was before I moved here, and
like who was the original dating show villain or what
was like that one big reality love drama that maybe
set the bath for everything that since followed. And instantly
(00:44):
they both kind of had one person come to mind,
and that person is Alex Nation, who famously won richest
season of The Bachelor in twenty sixteen and also who
then endured quite a lot of intense stuff and backlash
and hate to the point that she was dubbed the
most hated woman in Australia at the time. And in
(01:06):
this week's podcast, Lachlan and Talia Atti went and sat
down with Alex to talk about everything she went through.
How BATCHI compares to maths these days and what viewers
didn't ever get to find out until now.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Alex Nation, thank you so much for joining us on
Confessions of a Reality style.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
We are so happy to have you here.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
You're so welcome. I'm happy to be here a little
vaca away from my kids.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Love that view and thank you for coming up for it.
And we've provided some snacks of course.
Speaker 5 (01:46):
Sign Is this a sign chocolate?
Speaker 4 (01:49):
That means if things don't work out with my current fiance,
I can absolutely not go back to Richie.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
There's the spirit of Richie is just like.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
The spirit of Richie is here and it is alive
and I am terrified.
Speaker 5 (02:06):
No why for our listeners, we have a table set
up in front of us with a little chocolate fondue set.
As soon as we mentioned the chocolate fondu set, it
just smashed there I did.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
We were trying to give Alex a nice a chocolate experience,
to be honest, just like a little snack throughout throughout.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
The This is very taling.
Speaker 5 (02:26):
I feel like I should blow out the yes.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
Because the plane was gone a long time ago, so
just get rid of that one as well.
Speaker 5 (02:33):
That's a safety hazard. Now wow, Okay, we won't talk
about the chocolate bath.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
Whatever is here, it doesn't want us to.
Speaker 5 (02:43):
That's terrifying. We have a lot to unpack besides the
chocolate bath right there. Firstly, I cannot believe it's been
ten years since your season of the Bachelor aired on TV.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
Ten years. I was just a wee little baby when
I went on that show. I was twenty four years old.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Do you think you'll do anything to commemorate that ten
year anniversary nextually?
Speaker 4 (03:04):
Well, people have been floating the idea of a chocolate
bar with Richie. I would do it. I don't think
Richie would come to the party.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
I feel like we've had a bit of an omen
about that.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Now. I feel like that's a hard no.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Now.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
I feel like if it was to happen, something bad
would happen. So I feel like we've got our we've
got our answer here.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Maybe there'd be a price for it. Richie could jump
on board if the money was right.
Speaker 5 (03:30):
Yeah, potentially, we don't have the budget. But if you
wanted to do it on Confessions of a Reality Star,
that would be the perfect format.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
I could just go straight to ten like, hey you guys,
owe me, Hey you guys owe me big time for
me at a chocolate.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Bar, massively do.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
And I guess talking about that, you were so young
when you went on The Bachelor, and I think, looking
at it through the lens of like twenty twenty five,
you were the first person actually villainized for fallen in love.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
What's that like to look back on now?
Speaker 4 (04:04):
It's an interesting one. So when I was going through
it and I was in it, I felt like I
was just I was just riding a wave. It was
a new experience for me. It Whilst it was hard,
it still came with a lot of excitement and fun.
But I feel like the gravity of the negativity from
the media really only hit me probably twelve months later.
(04:28):
And then I think that's when it really impacted my
mental health because I kind of just didn't understand, like
I was so my authentic self and I couldn't understand
why people didn't like me for that. And you know,
I was confident, I was confident in my sexuality, I
was confident in my feelings for you know, the man
(04:49):
that I was trying to, you know, get at the end,
and people just really did not like me for wearing
my heart on my sleeve and being my authentic self,
and it was quite jarring for me. But later it
was only later where it really hit me, once the
(05:09):
kind of dust settled.
Speaker 5 (05:10):
I feel I can imagine once that finale aired, you
would be feeling the highest of highs, thinking we can
finally go out in public now our relationship is known
to everyone, and then the media is basically just upset
that Richie didn't pick Nicky. Yes, you did a bunch
of media interviews the day after the finale as well,
and it got brought up. One interview was with Richie's ex,
(05:33):
Sam Frost. We've got a clip to play from you,
and we just want to get your reaction. To relive
that much.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
I feel like I can remember it because she was
pretty brutal.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
It was a hard watch when we found it too,
because you know, we're kind of watching you just kind
of smile through it. And I just thought of that
time for you in that life when you should be
celebrating your own love story and then you have to
be talking about this other one.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
What's interesting about this is she's also Sam Frost is
my cousin, one of my cousin's best friend right, and
she throughout the entire season was like, you're doing so great,
You're amazing, Like she was totally like number one support,
really good sounding board. And then when it came time
(06:14):
to actually do our interviews, I was really like I
left there going, what the fuck?
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (06:21):
What's that? Like? I don't remember, like word for word
what happened, but I do remember leaving going that I
was not expecting that.
Speaker 6 (06:30):
No, God, no, I was so invested in NICKI. I
wanted to go meet Snowy and hang out. We can
all be besties and have picnics and drink wine.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Oh my god, Richie, what happened?
Speaker 6 (06:42):
Alex? You're lovely. Don't get me wrong. This isn't about you. Sweet,
You're delightful. You're related to my bestie.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
That's great.
Speaker 6 (06:50):
But guys, I was so invested with Nikki. What happened?
Speaker 4 (06:54):
I just feel like it's very I feel like Sam
was just rolling with the narrative. I think that was
what was selling. It was like the Australian heartbreak that
Nikki the girl next door didn't get chosen, and I
think she was just rolling with that narrative because that's
(07:16):
what was getting headlines.
Speaker 5 (07:18):
I think there's so many layers to it though as
well that she won the Bachelor, she knows how you
felt in that moment. She also dated essentially Richie on
her season of the Bachelorette, so she kind of knew
a lot of it. But then also being a radio presenter,
she clearly wanted to go with the narrative that the
public was agreeing on. You just sat there and smiled, essentially,
because how did you feel when all that conversation was
(07:40):
happening to you directly?
Speaker 4 (07:41):
I think during that entire thing, those radio interviews, just
to put it, you know, it was fucked. So like
my first interview was with Kyle Sandalanz and he was like,
how does it feel to be the most just hated
woman in Australia? And I was like, I am, I
didn't and I would just be like laugh it off
(08:04):
and I would just kind of my thing was just
like fucking drowned out with kindness, just be rise above.
But it was yeah. Afterwards, I remember Richie and I
were silent in our rides to and from our interviews,
so like, I think we only probably had one positive
(08:26):
interview that day. But I remember after Sam Frost's because
I had a connection to her somehow, like through my
cousin and we'd spoken during my time while the show
was airing, and she was so supportive of me. It
was just kind of it was disappointing because I feel
like she just followed the crowd because that was the
(08:48):
narrative and that's what kind of sold the headlines. And Yeah,
I quickly learned that the media, and it doesn't matter
who's in it, even people that you think will so
bought you can be pretty brutal and also not truthful.
Like I feel like people rolled with things that weren't
(09:09):
necessarily true about me, but they were happy too because
that's what sold their headlines.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
And watching some of those scenes back now, it's so
interesting to see you villainize, like you said before, just
for being like open about your feelings, being sexually open,
being attracted to the men that you're literally there to
fall in love with you Like these days that would
be celebrated, people would be like, fucking go for it,
Like it.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
Wasn't that time though. I feel like my season, you
were still like women who were sexually empowered. There wasn't
that movement of people encouraging women to be empowered and
be sexually empowered and be confident and comfortable in who
(09:57):
they were. I feel like my time, women were still,
you know, shrinking themselves, not wanting to take up too
much space. And I've always been someone that here I
am like, I will take up space, and I'm okay
with that. But the sad thing is is that experience
did make me shrink. I did want to escape. There
(10:19):
was times where I just didn't. I didn't want to
be who I was. I didn't understand why people didn't
like me. Yeah, I feel I do feel like, you know,
from my season, there was this movement that started to
happen where people were like, you know, fuck that, We're
not We're not going to be like that anymore. We're
not going to shrink, We're going to take up space.
(10:42):
You know, only you've got y Abby Chatfields, you know
she was. I feel like our narratives were similar, very
and I remember messaging her through her experience on the
show and seeing all the headlines just being like, I understand,
like I have sat where you've sat, and we had
some great conversations with each other. But I feel like
(11:03):
her and I very similar experience in that regard to
being villainized in such a way.
Speaker 5 (11:11):
I remember during Abbey season, I worked in radio at
the time, and the day that she came in after
the Bachelor Family like you would have done with Richie
for the press tour. She came into Nova the same
time that Matt and Chelsea were in the other radio booth,
so that was the first time that she had seen
him since South Africa. That would have been incredibly hard
(11:31):
for her seeing that, but also she just put on
a brave face. She was smiling the whole time. I
can't imagine how she was feeling on the inside. But
then seeing your clip with Sam, it kind of just
reminded me that you're feeling all these feelings, but you
need to project a certain image because you're the Bachelor winner. Yeah,
and you just won the fairy Tale Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
And I almost was like I didn't want to. I
didn't want anyone to penetrate that. It was kind of
like I felt like I had to rise above it
and I didn't want anyone because my throughout my season,
I was just getting smashed. Every week every episode there
was a headline about me, Like there was things like
Alex Nation left disabled ex boyfriend to chase fame, and
(12:11):
I would be like, can I like sue these people
because that's defamation and that's not what happened. But I
feel like there wasn't a lot of support in that
sense because I was like, this is like the headlines
about me were insane, Like I was like, this is
next level. And then again I saw the same thing
(12:33):
happened to Abby, like every after every episode. It was
just the same same sort of narrative. And I'm happy
that they can't really get away with doing that anymore.
Like there's lots of laws and regulations I think now
that they're very strict on that. But you know, I
(12:54):
feel like that was my that was my experience from
the moment I when on my first date and I
kissed him how I did because no one else was
kissing him like that, Like everyone else's kisses with him
on camera were maybe not as passionate. Mine was very
(13:16):
I kissed with a lot of passion, a lot of passion,
and it was great. There's a lot of great memes
about it, like I would suck his face off and
like there was like some voldemort one like the part
do you remember that I was the dementor, like sucking
his life every time I kissed.
Speaker 5 (13:35):
Could you find the comedy in that at the time?
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Oh, totally. Like sometimes I would see them and I
would piss myself laughing. It was more like the real
fucking horrible trolls that were just like DM me flat
out every day or like post comments on my you know,
posts and things like that. But that was my entire experience,
(13:58):
and I feel like it only shift did when I
did Bachelor in Paradise, And that's also why I wanted
to do that show, because I wanted like kind of
like my redemption. I've had some time in between, I've
evolved as a person and this is who I am,
because my time on The Bachelor in the media was
(14:21):
very negatively received by a lot of people, and I
did not expect that at all.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
What kind of pressure did that put on your relationship
with Richie because you exit the show you have a
chance of finally kind of really making goal of things
be out in public. Were you almost like trauma bonded
at that point or what happened?
Speaker 4 (14:42):
I don't know. I feel like we were so busy
with events and media engagements and really fun, exciting things
that I had most certainly not experienced. He had experienced
a little bit because he was on the Bachelorette, But
to be honest, the first couple of months were actually,
even though the media was brutal, it was amazing. It
(15:05):
was so much fun. It was only really when we
started to he lived in Perth, I lived in Melbourne.
It was only really when we started to do long
distance that the cracks started to show that our relationship
for me, I felt quite quickly wouldn't stand the test
(15:28):
of time, like we couldn't. I knew pretty soon that
it wasn't going to have longevity. But I had this
thing where I've just done this huge show. I got
to the end and people hated me for it, and
(15:49):
now I'm having doubts very soon in and what does
that look like? I will just get the I told
you so's like should have chosen NICKI that for me
played a lot, you know, Or should I just keep
giving it a chance?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Or yeah, I guess this show had really been known
for its big love stories and too, whereas now you
kind of like there's always a joke like, oh, the
three month contract is over and people are breaking up
or whatever.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
But with all that kind of pressure from the public, I.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
Think also like Richie and I were. It was honestly
fucking so weird. We just didn't communicate, like if we
were feeling something, we wouldn't communicate clearly with each other.
It was almost like we knew each other so well
through the experience, but actually didn't know each other at
(16:45):
all once we were plucked out of that. So, like
getting to know each other to the core of each other,
that never really happened for us because it was all
fun and events and partying and drinking and doing crazy,
crazy stuff together that we wouldn't usually do in our
normal lives. So it was totally amped. But then when
(17:10):
it came to kind of settling into the realness of life,
I just I feel like we didn't really know each
other at all. Interesting, it was really it was. Yeah,
it was really bizarre.
Speaker 5 (17:25):
Richie said at the time of the breakup. I guess
the brightest spark can fizzle fast. We made some bad
choices back in June, and our relationship really struggled to
recover for months after. It didn't matter how much effort
I put into it. Sometimes these things are destined to fail.
What are your thoughts on that statement?
Speaker 4 (17:43):
So I do believe that the brightest sparks can fizzle fast,
because that is exactly what it was fast. So during
the show, and every single person that worked on that
show honestly believed that we would be forever. They were like,
we have not like the connection between the two of
(18:03):
you is next level. And then when I won, they
were all like, we knew from the start it would
be you. We just had. It was just undeniable. We
were just magnets. And then I feel like coming into reality,
being brought back down to Earth was hard for both
(18:25):
of us. I feel like I don't want to speak
for Richie, but looking in I felt like he was
lost because he wasn't well received where he was loved.
After the Bachelorette, he was the favorite. People loved him,
and then after the Bachelor, it wasn't as well received.
(18:47):
And I feel like he was finding his feet as
well while I was trying to find my own, and
we were doing it doing distance as well. I do
feel like the effort side of things, like I was
a single mum with not the financial backing to constantly
(19:09):
be flying over to Perth, and I was very transparent
about that. The only time I would see him was
if he had an event in Melbourne, or if we
had an event in Melbourne, like there was no proactive
booking of flights to catch up with each other, just
to be with each other.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
That's so interesting.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
Yeah, And I that felt weird to me, like he
would come down because he's like, I've got this gig
doing this, or you know, we've got this scheduled in
with whatever it was, but actually being with each other
outside of any sort of media engagement or promo stuff,
(19:50):
it didn't really happen. And that was the first kind
of weird feeling for me. And then obviously when it
came to me, I just completely put a wall up
and I just started to distance myself. We'd had a
few heavy conversations and it was only after it was
(20:14):
kind of all said and done and too late, that
he actually did come to Melbourne to try and repair it.
But I was already done. I'd already checked out.
Speaker 5 (20:25):
You said in an interview that you ended it over text.
I guess what is the build up behind that moment?
Speaker 4 (20:32):
So we weren't communicating very well. I felt like I
had just shut down like I couldn't, and you know,
he was in Perth, so it was just phone calls,
and that kind of got exhausting, and I feel like
I went radio silent on him for weeks. And that
(20:55):
wasn't without him trying to reach out to me. It
was just I had checked out. I'd completely checked out
of that relationship. And I think it was weeks and
months building because our relationship was quite short. And I
sent him a just this long message essentially saying I'm
(21:18):
done and I just don't feel like I have anything
else to say, Like I don't need to explain it anymore,
but I just think we both need to move on.
And that's that, and that's kind of how that was.
And I didn't answer phone calls. He rang I didn't
want to talk on the phone. Yeah, I wasn't interested.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
So then we kind of jumped forward a few years
your own Bachelor in Paradise. Did you know beforehand that
he was also going on the show?
Speaker 4 (21:50):
No, I was told he wasn't, So the casting crew
had to me for a little while trying to engage
my interest. Initially I said no, and then I was
chasing reassurance will he be there, trying to get us
(22:11):
both there, because if he's there, I do not want
to go on that show that would be so uncomfortable
for me. That's in my past.
Speaker 5 (22:18):
Now, how soon after the breakup was this?
Speaker 4 (22:20):
By the way, So we broke up in twenty seventeen
and Bachelor in Paradise was filmed at the end of
twenty eighteen.
Speaker 5 (22:28):
So still reasonably fresh.
Speaker 4 (22:31):
Yeaheah.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
You don't want to be hunting out with your axentent Island. No,
absolutely not no.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
And we hadn't spoken since, like, I'd just kind of
cut it off, so to see him, I didn't want
to face it. I don't know, I just I just didn't.
I did not want to face that. I just wasn't.
I was quite happy to just cut it and just
leave it move.
Speaker 5 (22:52):
On like most relationships.
Speaker 6 (22:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
Yeah, And so they had told me that he had declined,
so then I had thought about it, and they got
back to me, and then I agreed once I got
confirmation that he declined.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
I guess at the time too, I was kind of thinking,
did they both get offered a lot of money to
nearly reunite, because then you have this scene together, which
is I think it was what nine minutes of just
unedited conversation, which I guess had a lot of people
speculating like, oh, maybe they Channel ten just threw them
a lot.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
Of money to like have it out on TV.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
Well, I can definitely say that it pays more than
The Bachelor, and the figures were definitely far more handsome
than ninety dollars a day. I would be very interested
to see what he was getting to be on the show.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Yeah, especially because you agreed first. I guess you saidle
on your figure thinking he's not going to be there.
If you knew he was going to be there, you
could have upped.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
That for totally. I would have been like fifteen thousand
a day.
Speaker 5 (24:04):
Some people from your season have come out and said,
I think four hundred a day was one person another
person thousand dollars a day. They clearly worked out different deals. Yeah,
did you want to give a ballpark?
Speaker 4 (24:15):
I will say it was between five hundred and twelve
hundred Okay a day a.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Day, Richie, if you happen to be listening to this,
can you please do?
Speaker 4 (24:23):
I feel like you're yeah, and being also like a
previous Bachelor, And also he kind of came in and
was a bit lost and just almost like I was like,
I think I even asked him. I was like, what
are you doing here? Because he was so he kept
(24:45):
to himself. He stayed in his room a lot. He
only hung out with really one or two people. Cass
really liked him, but I could see I'm just like
and I a would have conversations with her being like,
I just I don't know, like and then he bailed
after like two weeks or something.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
He did seem like a different person on that show
than what I was seeing.
Speaker 4 (25:06):
Like he was a bit of a shell of himself,
like Richie's actually a very vibrant, funny, down to earth
charismatic guy. He's really intelligent, and he seeing him again,
he was it was like I didn't know that person. Yeah, yeah,
(25:28):
it was like I didn't know who that person was if.
Speaker 5 (25:32):
He signed on after you signed on? Did he know
that you were going to be there?
Speaker 4 (25:38):
He I'm pretty sure, he says in our conversation, because
I said, did you know I was? I said, I
didn't know you were going to be here? And I said,
why are you here? Did you know I was going
to be here? And he said I had a feeling
you would be here. Interesting, So that threw me, like
that really did, and I think I was still lot
(26:00):
if I would ever consider reconnecting with him or rekindling,
and I probably would have loved that, but I was like, no,
so yeah, I'm not Maybe he felt he needed a
redemption as well or closure closure, I'm not sure, but
he I feel like he would have known that I
(26:20):
was coming.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Yeah, especially saying that he has a feeling and then
rocking up and then like kind of signing on last
minute too.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
By the sounds of it, it was quite because.
Speaker 4 (26:29):
I did go to bed thinking about that. I'm like,
why because he because he wasn't overly happy to see me,
like he wasn't warm. I was probably more warm to him.
I was like, rich, how are you? And he was
like Alex, like very.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Or I feel I wanted to sing classic straight millennial
man just like shot down emotions off. Okay, if we
can talk about that big chat you guys had, the
unedited snipper that Channel ten showed. It was very hyped
up and you guys had to talk in a lot
of metaphors. Obviously the media speculated after that you guys
(27:09):
were discussing an abortion.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
Is that what was happening?
Speaker 1 (27:15):
If you want to hear the second part of that
chat head over to the Confessions of a reality style
podcast feed, which you can do by searching them on
all major podcast apps, or you can just click the
link output in the description of this podcast. Here, have
a lovely day. Goodbye.
Hello, and welcome back to the Maths Many podcast who
with me Joshua Fox and today my friends, I have
a treat for you guys as fans of Australian reality television,
because you know how when we think of like villains
and backlash, like maths automatically just comes to mind these days,
right Well, I was recently talking to Lachlin and Talia
(00:22):
who hosted Confessions of a Reality Star podcast on this feed,
about what it was like before married a first site
in this country, which was before I moved here, and
like who was the original dating show villain or what
was like that one big reality love drama that maybe
set the bath for everything that since followed. And instantly
(00:44):
they both kind of had one person come to mind,
and that person is Alex Nation, who famously won richest
season of The Bachelor in twenty sixteen and also who
then endured quite a lot of intense stuff and backlash
and hate to the point that she was dubbed the
most hated woman in Australia at the time. And in
(01:06):
this week's podcast, Lachlan and Talia Atti went and sat
down with Alex to talk about everything she went through.
How BATCHI compares to maths these days and what viewers
didn't ever get to find out until now.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Alex Nation, thank you so much for joining us on
Confessions of a Reality style.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
We are so happy to have you here.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
You're so welcome. I'm happy to be here a little
vaca away from my kids.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Love that view and thank you for coming up for it.
And we've provided some snacks of course.
Speaker 5 (01:46):
Sign Is this a sign chocolate?
Speaker 4 (01:49):
That means if things don't work out with my current fiance,
I can absolutely not go back to Richie.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
There's the spirit of Richie is just like.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
The spirit of Richie is here and it is alive
and I am terrified.
Speaker 5 (02:06):
No why for our listeners, we have a table set
up in front of us with a little chocolate fondue set.
As soon as we mentioned the chocolate fondu set, it
just smashed there I did.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
We were trying to give Alex a nice a chocolate experience,
to be honest, just like a little snack throughout throughout.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
The This is very taling.
Speaker 5 (02:26):
I feel like I should blow out the yes.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
Because the plane was gone a long time ago, so
just get rid of that one as well.
Speaker 5 (02:33):
That's a safety hazard. Now wow, Okay, we won't talk
about the chocolate bath.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
Whatever is here, it doesn't want us to.
Speaker 5 (02:43):
That's terrifying. We have a lot to unpack besides the
chocolate bath right there. Firstly, I cannot believe it's been
ten years since your season of the Bachelor aired on TV.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
Ten years. I was just a wee little baby when
I went on that show. I was twenty four years old.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Do you think you'll do anything to commemorate that ten
year anniversary nextually?
Speaker 4 (03:04):
Well, people have been floating the idea of a chocolate
bar with Richie. I would do it. I don't think
Richie would come to the party.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
I feel like we've had a bit of an omen
about that.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Now. I feel like that's a hard no.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Now.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
I feel like if it was to happen, something bad
would happen. So I feel like we've got our we've
got our answer here.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Maybe there'd be a price for it. Richie could jump
on board if the money was right.
Speaker 5 (03:30):
Yeah, potentially, we don't have the budget. But if you
wanted to do it on Confessions of a Reality Star,
that would be the perfect format.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
I could just go straight to ten like, hey you guys,
owe me, Hey you guys owe me big time for
me at a chocolate.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Bar, massively do.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
And I guess talking about that, you were so young
when you went on The Bachelor, and I think, looking
at it through the lens of like twenty twenty five,
you were the first person actually villainized for fallen in love.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
What's that like to look back on now?
Speaker 4 (04:04):
It's an interesting one. So when I was going through
it and I was in it, I felt like I
was just I was just riding a wave. It was
a new experience for me. It Whilst it was hard,
it still came with a lot of excitement and fun.
But I feel like the gravity of the negativity from
the media really only hit me probably twelve months later.
(04:28):
And then I think that's when it really impacted my
mental health because I kind of just didn't understand, like
I was so my authentic self and I couldn't understand
why people didn't like me for that. And you know,
I was confident, I was confident in my sexuality, I
was confident in my feelings for you know, the man
(04:49):
that I was trying to, you know, get at the end,
and people just really did not like me for wearing
my heart on my sleeve and being my authentic self,
and it was quite jarring for me. But later it
was only later where it really hit me, once the
(05:09):
kind of dust settled.
Speaker 5 (05:10):
I feel I can imagine once that finale aired, you
would be feeling the highest of highs, thinking we can
finally go out in public now our relationship is known
to everyone, and then the media is basically just upset
that Richie didn't pick Nicky. Yes, you did a bunch
of media interviews the day after the finale as well,
and it got brought up. One interview was with Richie's ex,
(05:33):
Sam Frost. We've got a clip to play from you,
and we just want to get your reaction. To relive
that much.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
I feel like I can remember it because she was
pretty brutal.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
It was a hard watch when we found it too,
because you know, we're kind of watching you just kind
of smile through it. And I just thought of that
time for you in that life when you should be
celebrating your own love story and then you have to
be talking about this other one.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
What's interesting about this is she's also Sam Frost is
my cousin, one of my cousin's best friend right, and
she throughout the entire season was like, you're doing so great,
You're amazing, Like she was totally like number one support,
really good sounding board. And then when it came time
(06:14):
to actually do our interviews, I was really like I
left there going, what the fuck?
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (06:21):
What's that? Like? I don't remember, like word for word
what happened, but I do remember leaving going that I
was not expecting that.
Speaker 6 (06:30):
No, God, no, I was so invested in NICKI. I
wanted to go meet Snowy and hang out. We can
all be besties and have picnics and drink wine.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Oh my god, Richie, what happened?
Speaker 6 (06:42):
Alex? You're lovely. Don't get me wrong. This isn't about you. Sweet,
You're delightful. You're related to my bestie.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
That's great.
Speaker 6 (06:50):
But guys, I was so invested with Nikki. What happened?
Speaker 4 (06:54):
I just feel like it's very I feel like Sam
was just rolling with the narrative. I think that was
what was selling. It was like the Australian heartbreak that
Nikki the girl next door didn't get chosen, and I
think she was just rolling with that narrative because that's
(07:16):
what was getting headlines.
Speaker 5 (07:18):
I think there's so many layers to it though as
well that she won the Bachelor, she knows how you
felt in that moment. She also dated essentially Richie on
her season of the Bachelorette, so she kind of knew
a lot of it. But then also being a radio presenter,
she clearly wanted to go with the narrative that the
public was agreeing on. You just sat there and smiled, essentially,
because how did you feel when all that conversation was
(07:40):
happening to you directly?
Speaker 4 (07:41):
I think during that entire thing, those radio interviews, just
to put it, you know, it was fucked. So like
my first interview was with Kyle Sandalanz and he was like,
how does it feel to be the most just hated
woman in Australia? And I was like, I am, I
didn't and I would just be like laugh it off
(08:04):
and I would just kind of my thing was just
like fucking drowned out with kindness, just be rise above.
But it was yeah. Afterwards, I remember Richie and I
were silent in our rides to and from our interviews,
so like, I think we only probably had one positive
(08:26):
interview that day. But I remember after Sam Frost's because
I had a connection to her somehow, like through my
cousin and we'd spoken during my time while the show
was airing, and she was so supportive of me. It
was just kind of it was disappointing because I feel
like she just followed the crowd because that was the
(08:48):
narrative and that's what kind of sold the headlines. And Yeah,
I quickly learned that the media, and it doesn't matter
who's in it, even people that you think will so
bought you can be pretty brutal and also not truthful.
Like I feel like people rolled with things that weren't
(09:09):
necessarily true about me, but they were happy too because
that's what sold their headlines.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
And watching some of those scenes back now, it's so
interesting to see you villainize, like you said before, just
for being like open about your feelings, being sexually open,
being attracted to the men that you're literally there to
fall in love with you Like these days that would
be celebrated, people would be like, fucking go for it,
Like it.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
Wasn't that time though. I feel like my season, you
were still like women who were sexually empowered. There wasn't
that movement of people encouraging women to be empowered and
be sexually empowered and be confident and comfortable in who
(09:57):
they were. I feel like my time, women were still,
you know, shrinking themselves, not wanting to take up too
much space. And I've always been someone that here I
am like, I will take up space, and I'm okay
with that. But the sad thing is is that experience
did make me shrink. I did want to escape. There
(10:19):
was times where I just didn't. I didn't want to
be who I was. I didn't understand why people didn't
like me. Yeah, I feel I do feel like, you know,
from my season, there was this movement that started to
happen where people were like, you know, fuck that, We're
not We're not going to be like that anymore. We're
not going to shrink, We're going to take up space.
(10:42):
You know, only you've got y Abby Chatfields, you know
she was. I feel like our narratives were similar, very
and I remember messaging her through her experience on the
show and seeing all the headlines just being like, I understand,
like I have sat where you've sat, and we had
some great conversations with each other. But I feel like
(11:03):
her and I very similar experience in that regard to
being villainized in such a way.
Speaker 5 (11:11):
I remember during Abbey season, I worked in radio at
the time, and the day that she came in after
the Bachelor Family like you would have done with Richie
for the press tour. She came into Nova the same
time that Matt and Chelsea were in the other radio booth,
so that was the first time that she had seen
him since South Africa. That would have been incredibly hard
(11:31):
for her seeing that, but also she just put on
a brave face. She was smiling the whole time. I
can't imagine how she was feeling on the inside. But
then seeing your clip with Sam, it kind of just
reminded me that you're feeling all these feelings, but you
need to project a certain image because you're the Bachelor winner. Yeah,
and you just won the fairy Tale Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
And I almost was like I didn't want to. I
didn't want anyone to penetrate that. It was kind of
like I felt like I had to rise above it
and I didn't want anyone because my throughout my season,
I was just getting smashed. Every week every episode there
was a headline about me, Like there was things like
Alex Nation left disabled ex boyfriend to chase fame, and
(12:11):
I would be like, can I like sue these people
because that's defamation and that's not what happened. But I
feel like there wasn't a lot of support in that
sense because I was like, this is like the headlines
about me were insane, Like I was like, this is
next level. And then again I saw the same thing
(12:33):
happened to Abby, like every after every episode. It was
just the same same sort of narrative. And I'm happy
that they can't really get away with doing that anymore.
Like there's lots of laws and regulations I think now
that they're very strict on that. But you know, I
(12:54):
feel like that was my that was my experience from
the moment I when on my first date and I
kissed him how I did because no one else was
kissing him like that, Like everyone else's kisses with him
on camera were maybe not as passionate. Mine was very
(13:16):
I kissed with a lot of passion, a lot of passion,
and it was great. There's a lot of great memes
about it, like I would suck his face off and
like there was like some voldemort one like the part
do you remember that I was the dementor, like sucking
his life every time I kissed.
Speaker 5 (13:35):
Could you find the comedy in that at the time?
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Oh, totally. Like sometimes I would see them and I
would piss myself laughing. It was more like the real
fucking horrible trolls that were just like DM me flat
out every day or like post comments on my you know,
posts and things like that. But that was my entire experience,
(13:58):
and I feel like it only shift did when I
did Bachelor in Paradise, And that's also why I wanted
to do that show, because I wanted like kind of
like my redemption. I've had some time in between, I've
evolved as a person and this is who I am,
because my time on The Bachelor in the media was
(14:21):
very negatively received by a lot of people, and I
did not expect that at all.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
What kind of pressure did that put on your relationship
with Richie because you exit the show you have a
chance of finally kind of really making goal of things
be out in public. Were you almost like trauma bonded
at that point or what happened?
Speaker 4 (14:42):
I don't know. I feel like we were so busy
with events and media engagements and really fun, exciting things
that I had most certainly not experienced. He had experienced
a little bit because he was on the Bachelorette, But
to be honest, the first couple of months were actually,
even though the media was brutal, it was amazing. It
(15:05):
was so much fun. It was only really when we
started to he lived in Perth, I lived in Melbourne.
It was only really when we started to do long
distance that the cracks started to show that our relationship
for me, I felt quite quickly wouldn't stand the test
(15:28):
of time, like we couldn't. I knew pretty soon that
it wasn't going to have longevity. But I had this
thing where I've just done this huge show. I got
to the end and people hated me for it, and
(15:49):
now I'm having doubts very soon in and what does
that look like? I will just get the I told
you so's like should have chosen NICKI that for me
played a lot, you know, Or should I just keep
giving it a chance?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Or yeah, I guess this show had really been known
for its big love stories and too, whereas now you
kind of like there's always a joke like, oh, the
three month contract is over and people are breaking up
or whatever.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
But with all that kind of pressure from the public, I.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
Think also like Richie and I were. It was honestly
fucking so weird. We just didn't communicate, like if we
were feeling something, we wouldn't communicate clearly with each other.
It was almost like we knew each other so well
through the experience, but actually didn't know each other at
(16:45):
all once we were plucked out of that. So, like
getting to know each other to the core of each other,
that never really happened for us because it was all
fun and events and partying and drinking and doing crazy,
crazy stuff together that we wouldn't usually do in our
normal lives. So it was totally amped. But then when
(17:10):
it came to kind of settling into the realness of life,
I just I feel like we didn't really know each
other at all. Interesting, it was really it was. Yeah,
it was really bizarre.
Speaker 5 (17:25):
Richie said at the time of the breakup. I guess
the brightest spark can fizzle fast. We made some bad
choices back in June, and our relationship really struggled to
recover for months after. It didn't matter how much effort
I put into it. Sometimes these things are destined to fail.
What are your thoughts on that statement?
Speaker 4 (17:43):
So I do believe that the brightest sparks can fizzle fast,
because that is exactly what it was fast. So during
the show, and every single person that worked on that
show honestly believed that we would be forever. They were like,
we have not like the connection between the two of
(18:03):
you is next level. And then when I won, they
were all like, we knew from the start it would
be you. We just had. It was just undeniable. We
were just magnets. And then I feel like coming into reality,
being brought back down to Earth was hard for both
(18:25):
of us. I feel like I don't want to speak
for Richie, but looking in I felt like he was
lost because he wasn't well received where he was loved.
After the Bachelorette, he was the favorite. People loved him,
and then after the Bachelor, it wasn't as well received.
(18:47):
And I feel like he was finding his feet as
well while I was trying to find my own, and
we were doing it doing distance as well. I do
feel like the effort side of things, like I was
a single mum with not the financial backing to constantly
(19:09):
be flying over to Perth, and I was very transparent
about that. The only time I would see him was
if he had an event in Melbourne, or if we
had an event in Melbourne, like there was no proactive
booking of flights to catch up with each other, just
to be with each other.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
That's so interesting.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
Yeah, And I that felt weird to me, like he
would come down because he's like, I've got this gig
doing this, or you know, we've got this scheduled in
with whatever it was, but actually being with each other
outside of any sort of media engagement or promo stuff,
(19:50):
it didn't really happen. And that was the first kind
of weird feeling for me. And then obviously when it
came to me, I just completely put a wall up
and I just started to distance myself. We'd had a
few heavy conversations and it was only after it was
(20:14):
kind of all said and done and too late, that
he actually did come to Melbourne to try and repair it.
But I was already done. I'd already checked out.
Speaker 5 (20:25):
You said in an interview that you ended it over text.
I guess what is the build up behind that moment?
Speaker 4 (20:32):
So we weren't communicating very well. I felt like I
had just shut down like I couldn't, and you know,
he was in Perth, so it was just phone calls,
and that kind of got exhausting, and I feel like
I went radio silent on him for weeks. And that
(20:55):
wasn't without him trying to reach out to me. It
was just I had checked out. I'd completely checked out
of that relationship. And I think it was weeks and
months building because our relationship was quite short. And I
sent him a just this long message essentially saying I'm
(21:18):
done and I just don't feel like I have anything
else to say, Like I don't need to explain it anymore,
but I just think we both need to move on.
And that's that, and that's kind of how that was.
And I didn't answer phone calls. He rang I didn't
want to talk on the phone. Yeah, I wasn't interested.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
So then we kind of jumped forward a few years
your own Bachelor in Paradise. Did you know beforehand that
he was also going on the show?
Speaker 4 (21:50):
No, I was told he wasn't, So the casting crew
had to me for a little while trying to engage
my interest. Initially I said no, and then I was
chasing reassurance will he be there, trying to get us
(22:11):
both there, because if he's there, I do not want
to go on that show that would be so uncomfortable
for me. That's in my past.
Speaker 5 (22:18):
Now, how soon after the breakup was this?
Speaker 4 (22:20):
By the way, So we broke up in twenty seventeen
and Bachelor in Paradise was filmed at the end of
twenty eighteen.
Speaker 5 (22:28):
So still reasonably fresh.
Speaker 4 (22:31):
Yeaheah.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
You don't want to be hunting out with your axentent Island. No,
absolutely not no.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
And we hadn't spoken since, like, I'd just kind of
cut it off, so to see him, I didn't want
to face it. I don't know, I just I just didn't.
I did not want to face that. I just wasn't.
I was quite happy to just cut it and just
leave it move.
Speaker 5 (22:52):
On like most relationships.
Speaker 6 (22:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
Yeah, And so they had told me that he had declined,
so then I had thought about it, and they got
back to me, and then I agreed once I got
confirmation that he declined.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
I guess at the time too, I was kind of thinking,
did they both get offered a lot of money to
nearly reunite, because then you have this scene together, which
is I think it was what nine minutes of just
unedited conversation, which I guess had a lot of people
speculating like, oh, maybe they Channel ten just threw them
a lot.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
Of money to like have it out on TV.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
Well, I can definitely say that it pays more than
The Bachelor, and the figures were definitely far more handsome
than ninety dollars a day. I would be very interested
to see what he was getting to be on the show.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Yeah, especially because you agreed first. I guess you saidle
on your figure thinking he's not going to be there.
If you knew he was going to be there, you
could have upped.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
That for totally. I would have been like fifteen thousand
a day.
Speaker 5 (24:04):
Some people from your season have come out and said,
I think four hundred a day was one person another
person thousand dollars a day. They clearly worked out different deals. Yeah,
did you want to give a ballpark?
Speaker 4 (24:15):
I will say it was between five hundred and twelve
hundred Okay a day a.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Day, Richie, if you happen to be listening to this,
can you please do?
Speaker 4 (24:23):
I feel like you're yeah, and being also like a
previous Bachelor, And also he kind of came in and
was a bit lost and just almost like I was like,
I think I even asked him. I was like, what
are you doing here? Because he was so he kept
(24:45):
to himself. He stayed in his room a lot. He
only hung out with really one or two people. Cass
really liked him, but I could see I'm just like
and I a would have conversations with her being like,
I just I don't know, like and then he bailed
after like two weeks or something.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
He did seem like a different person on that show
than what I was seeing.
Speaker 4 (25:06):
Like he was a bit of a shell of himself,
like Richie's actually a very vibrant, funny, down to earth
charismatic guy. He's really intelligent, and he seeing him again,
he was it was like I didn't know that person. Yeah, yeah,
(25:28):
it was like I didn't know who that person was if.
Speaker 5 (25:32):
He signed on after you signed on? Did he know
that you were going to be there?
Speaker 4 (25:38):
He I'm pretty sure, he says in our conversation, because
I said, did you know I was? I said, I
didn't know you were going to be here? And I said,
why are you here? Did you know I was going
to be here? And he said I had a feeling
you would be here. Interesting, So that threw me, like
that really did, and I think I was still lot
(26:00):
if I would ever consider reconnecting with him or rekindling,
and I probably would have loved that, but I was like, no,
so yeah, I'm not Maybe he felt he needed a
redemption as well or closure closure, I'm not sure, but
he I feel like he would have known that I
(26:20):
was coming.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Yeah, especially saying that he has a feeling and then
rocking up and then like kind of signing on last
minute too.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
By the sounds of it, it was quite because.
Speaker 4 (26:29):
I did go to bed thinking about that. I'm like,
why because he because he wasn't overly happy to see me,
like he wasn't warm. I was probably more warm to him.
I was like, rich, how are you? And he was
like Alex, like very.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Or I feel I wanted to sing classic straight millennial
man just like shot down emotions off. Okay, if we
can talk about that big chat you guys had, the
unedited snipper that Channel ten showed. It was very hyped
up and you guys had to talk in a lot
of metaphors. Obviously the media speculated after that you guys
(27:09):
were discussing an abortion.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
Is that what was happening?
Speaker 1 (27:15):
If you want to hear the second part of that
chat head over to the Confessions of a reality style
podcast feed, which you can do by searching them on
all major podcast apps, or you can just click the
link output in the description of this podcast. Here, have
a lovely day. Goodbye.
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