Men Seeking Calm.
Men Seeking Calm is about helping men get to calm from a place of stress, anxiety and pain. Some of the practical tools include emotional regulation, anger management and relationship skills. What can we do when the Big Emotions come in our intimate relationships? We explore what it means ”to be a man” in the world of today - it can get confusing. Supporting men in their ”how to do life” quests. And when you learn this stuff ... pass it on the next guy.
Episodes
Relational repair is what you do after a slip—a sharp comment, a cold shoulder, a broken promise, verbal abuse or worse. It’s the fast, clean act of turning back toward us: notice the rupture, steady yourself, own your part, name the impact, offer a small fix today, check what else is needed, and follow through. Short. Honest. Consistent. That’s repair.
Bickering: Why “Small Stuff” Wrecks Psychological Safety.
Episode Description: Bickering looks harmless—quick quips, corrections, sarcasm, point-scoring. We tell ourselves “we’re just talking,” “everyone does it,” “no big deal.” But these “small shots” quietly train both nervous systems to expect micro-threats. Heart rate creeps up, breathing shortens, shoulders tighten, and the brain shifts from connection to defense. What starts ...
Episode Title: The Heaven’s Reward Fallacy – Why Being “Good” Doesn’t Guarantee a Happy Ending Host: Greg Martin | WalkTheMountain.com
🔎 Episode Summary:In this episode, Greg shines a spotlight on one of the more frustrating (and exhausting) faulty thinking traps: The Heaven’s Reward Fallacy.
This is the quiet belie...
🎙️ MEN SEEKING CALM
🧠 Episode: The Control Fallacy — When You're Either the Puppet or the Puppet Master
👤 Hosted by Greg Martin | http://walkthemountain.com/
EPISODE SUMMARY Welcome back to the MEN SEEKING CALM podcast. In today’s episode, Greg explores the Control Fallacy — a sneaky trap that convinces men they ei...
🎙️ MEN SEEKING CALM Podcast
Episode Title: Emotional Reasoning: When Feelings Pretend to Be Facts
Host: Greg Martin – WalkTheMountain.com
🧠 Episode Summary
In this episode, Greg explores the thinking trap of Emotional Reasoning — the tendency to believe something is true just because you...
🎙️ MEN SEEKING CALM Episode Title: The Fallacy of Fairness — When Keeping Score Kills Connection Host: Greg Martin Website: WalkTheMountain.com
🧠 Episode SummaryIn this episode, Greg dives deep into one of the most draining cognitive traps for men in relationships: The Fallacy of Fairness. This thinking habit convinces us that life — and love — should always feel "fair," ...
In This Episode: Greg Martin dives deep into one of the most common mental traps that keep men stuck — Blaming Her and offers practical insights for getting unstuck. Today’s episode is about spotting the story in your head before it hijacks your relationship.
Key Takeaways:
- Why blame erodes intimacy and s...
In today’s episode, we dive deep into a sneaky and exhausting thinking trap: Personalization (Me-Blame) — the mental habit of believing everything going wrong is somehow your fault. Greg explores how this faulty thinking drains men of energy, inflates guilt, and wrecks intimacy.
🔍 Key Takeaways-
Personalization = blaming yourself for things you didn’t cause.
-
Often rooted in early emotional conditioning and trauma.
-
Reinfo...
In this episode of the MEN SEEKING CALM podcast, Greg Martin of WalkTheMountain.com unpacks the sneaky trap of Labeling and Mislabeling — where one mistake becomes your identity and a single moment defines your partner.
When men say things like “I forgot the bin — I’m useless” or “She’s nagging — she’s a control freak,” they turn moments into harsh, fixed judgments.
This thinking trap shuts down empathy, blocks growth, and feeds sh...
In this episode of the MEN SEEKING CALM podcast, Greg Martin from WalkTheMountain.com explores the cognitive trap of “Should” statements — those internal scripts that sound like motivation but actually breed shame, pressure, and disconnection. In men’s work and relationships, “should” thinking fuels unrealistic expectations of self and others, rooted in cultural and childhood conditioning.
Phrases like “She should appreciate me mor...
In this episode of the Men Seeking Calm podcast, we explore the thinking trap of Disaster-thinking — the tendency to assume the worst-case scenario in relationships and treat it as inevitable truth.
Men often spiral from minor moments, like a quiet dinner or a single comment, into full-blown emotional catastrophes: breakups, failure, and rejection.
Disaster-thinking feels like self-protection but actually fuels anxiety, shame, and ...
In this episode of the Men Seeking Calm podcast, Greg Martin explores the thinking trap of Jumping to Conclusions — the mental habit of assuming the worst before knowing the facts.
Common in men during relationship stress, this distortion includes mind-reading (“She must hate me”) and fortune-telling (“This is going to end badly”). It’s driven by fear, past wounds, and a deep desire to protect oneself, but often causes more harm th...
In this episode, we dive into the faulty thinking trap of Disqualifying the Positive — the mental habit of rejecting compliments, kindness, and progress.
Whether it’s your partner saying, “Thanks for helping with the kids”, or “I appreciate how you listened”, your inner critic swats it away with thoughts like, “She’s just being polite”or “I still screwed up.” This mindset often stems from past experiences where praise felt unsafe, ...
In this Men Seeking Calm episode, we explore Negative Filtering — the cognitive trap where men obsess over one critical comment or tense moment, ignoring the many things going right in their relationship.
Whether it’s a forgotten bin or a frustrated sigh, this faulty thinking filters out gratitude, affection, and shared joy, leaving men feeling like constant failures.
Greg shares 10 examples of how this plays out and how it silentl...
In this episode of the Men Seeking Calm podcast, explores Overgeneralization — a type of faulty thinking where one bad moment is exaggerated into a total truth.
It’s the mental habit of thinking “She snapped at me — she always does,” or “We argued — our relationship must be falling apart.”
Greg explains how this distorted thinking turns single events into sweeping judgments, disconnecting men from growth, intimacy, and reality.
Roo...
In this episode of the Men Seeking Calm podcast, Greg Martin explores the trap of All-or-Nothing Thinking — a rigid, black-and-white mindset where every mistake feels like total failure and every disagreement signals doom.
In intimate relationships, this thinking shows up as harsh self-judgment and polarizing assumptions like “If I can’t fix this, I’m useless,” or “She’s upset — our relationship must be over.”
Greg breaks down 10 v...
In this episode of the Men Seeking Calm podcast, Greg Martin explores “Frozen in Conflict” — a shutdown response many men have when facing tough conversations.
Whether it’s criticism, shame, or unresolved anger issues, this reaction can look like silence, withdrawal, or emotional disconnection. Often rooted in emotional flooding, depression as anger, or fear of escalation, this leads to unresolved anger problems and broken connect...
In this episode, Greg Martin from WalkTheMountain.com explores contempt—one of the most damaging forces in relationships.
More than just anger issues or anger outbursts, contempt expresses superiority through sarcasm, mockery, and put-downs like “You’re such a loser” or “You can’t do anything right.” It’s not just criticism—it’s humiliation.
Contempt often masks deeper pain, unresolved depression as anger, or ongoing resentment, an...
Defensiveness is another communication choice that degrades Our connection with our partner.
Defensiveness is refusing responsibility for our actions:
by making
- excuses,
- blaming, or
- denying.
We feel overwhelmed by critical feedback. We go into defence mode.
Rather than hearing...
This episode describes CRITICISM and how it impacts our connection with our partner.
… it frays at our connection with our partner.
Our connection with our partner is one of life’s greatest assets, and so if we do something damaging to this connection, it’s a big problem.
… I am going to discuss positive options for w...
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