Episode 1 - How The Menopause Mafia Was Born

Join Misti Graham in this eye-opening and hilariously relatable episode of 'Menopause on the Mic.' Misti shares her personal, no-holds-barred journey through menopause, from waking up feeling like she's being 'cremated alive' to the creation of the 'Menopause Mafia' - a community for women navigating this unpredictable stage of life. Through laughter and raw honesty, Misti recounts her grocery store epiphany and her frustrating yet comical experiences with the medical system. This episode is all about shedding light on the real, unfiltered experiences of menopause, turning moments of chaos into comedy, and forming a sisterhood that swears, sweats, and survives together. Subscribe, follow, and share if you need a laugh and a sense of camaraderie in this crazy menopausal journey.

00:00 Introduction: The Menopause Madness Begins

01:06 Welcome to Menopause on the Mic

02:16 The Birth of the Menopause Mafia

04:22 Dealing with the Medical System

06:39 Why the Menopause Mafia?

07:53 The Reality of Menopause

08:38 Join the Menopause Mafia

09:36 Conclusion: Laugh, Relate, and Survive Together

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Okay, listen, nobody, and I mean, nobody warned me about the degree of nonsense that menopause was gonna unleash on my life.
You know what? I got a cute little pamphlet from my doctor that basically said, you might get a little warm.
Warm.

(00:21):
What the actual fuck girl? I have woken up thinking I was being cremated alive.
There have been times when I was like, am I dying? Is this it? Should I write a goodbye note? Why am I sweating? Like I just committed a felony? Oh, and the cherry on top.

(00:42):
My partner rolls over.
Looks at me.
And then has the audacity to say, babe, you feel a little hot.
Um, no, no.
I am not hot.
I am on fire.
I am in the depths of hell and I could literally power the entire Las Vegas strip.
And that, that right there, my friends, is why the podcast exists.

(01:06):
Welcome to Menopause on the Mic, the show for women like me.
And you who are out here surviving.
Mother nature's weirdest, rudest, prank without any warning, labels or refund options.
I'm your host, Misty Graham, founder of The Menopause Mafia, a community built on sweat swearing and sisterhood, but mostly sweat.

(01:29):
Now, pull up a chair, preferably one that won't stick to the back of your legs.
And let's talk about how this whole thing started.
But let me make this clear from the jump.
This is not a medical podcast, so if you're here for supplemental recommendations or a diagram of the uterus, girl, run away like your hair is on fire because this is not your podcast.

(01:54):
This is the podcast where we laugh so we don't cry.
We cry because we laugh too hard and then laugh again because we're crying and have no idea why.
I am not a doctor, but I'm basically a menopausal specialist in the field of.
What fresh hell is this? And honestly, sometimes that's more valuable.

(02:16):
So now let me take you back to the exact moment when the Menopause Mafia was born as Sophia from the Golden Girls would say, picture it me, the frozen food aisle at the grocery store.
Hair in a bun that I don't remember making sweating so hard.
I look like I'd run through a sprinkler, fully clothed brain fog so thick that when you ask me my name, I would've said, um, wait a second.

(02:44):
Hang on.
It'll come to me just a second.
I'm standing there holding a bag of frozen peas to my neck, like it was a life-saving medical advice.
And then suddenly another woman walks by and whispers gently.
Hot flash and I bag of frozen peas still clutched at my neck like Tiffany Diamonds with the last remaining ounce of dignity in my body go.

(03:08):
Yes, I'm basically the human version of the rotisserie chickens.
They just announced were on sale over in the deli department, and it was at that moment we locked eyes.
We nodded two menopausal warriors recognizing each other out in the wild.
And it was in that moment, it hit me.

(03:30):
We're all out here overheating in public, like renegade rotisserie chickens, but yet there's no place for us to actually talk about it.
And so my sisters in sweat.
That was the day I realized that we have no community.
We have no stage, we have no place where women can just openly admit.

(03:52):
Yes, I'm currently sweating and crying and hungry and enraged, and I don't have a fucking clue why.
So I thought, oh, hell no.
Not on my watch.
And so as they say in the Mafioso badabing bada boom baby, the Menopause Mafia was born out of a hot flash from hell in the middle of aisle seven.

(04:16):
A whisper of acknowledgement from a fellow sister in arms and a pack of frozen peas.
Now let's flip the script and talk about the medical system for a second.
So looking back, I recently booked a doctor's appointment thinking I'd finally get some answers about why I kept walking into rooms, asking questions like, Karen from Will and Grace, what's happening? Who is this? Who am I? I showed up at the office like, okay, let's fix me and let's figure this out once and for all.

(04:52):
Then after an hour of lifestyle questions, stress assessments, work-life balance audits, hydration interrogations, breathing evaluations, tapping my knees with a creepy hammer, making me follow his finger like a confused kitten with a red light pointer, and listening to my heartbeat, like it held the secrets of the universe.

(05:14):
I finally said, okay, doc, now that we've bonded what.
In the hell is wrong with me, and then without saying a word, he turns around and has the audacity to walk out of the exam room, leaving me there to ponder if I should just diagnose myself, prescribe chocolate and wine, and then go home and start a mafia.

(05:39):
But just a short five minutes later, yes, five minutes later.
This man walks back in the room and goes, well, sounds like it's just hormones.
Reduce your stress.
Try to get more sleep, get more exercise and eat better.

(05:59):
Reduce my stress.
Um, excuse me, sir, I am one hot flash away from setting your waiting room on fire.
And my stress is currently wearing tap shoes and river dancing all over my last functioning nerve.
So that my friends was also the day I said, Nope, Rono, these people are not gonna save me.

(06:25):
I need to find the women who get it.
I need a place to scream and to a void with other sweaty, unhinged queens.
And that's when the idea for the mafia went from a whisper in a grocery store to a battle cry.
So why call it the menopause Mafia? Because menopause.
Deserves more than a quiet support group With herbal tea and everyone talking in that fake calm, I'm totally okay.

(06:51):
Voice that no one around us believes.
Nope, not happening.
We are forming a gang, a sisterhood, a full-blown estrogen free crime family where we talk about the real stuff like chin hairs that show up overnight, like tiny ninja assassins that were sent to ruin your morning mood swings that make your partner act towards you the way people do with the T-Rex in Jurassic Park.

(07:18):
Slow.
Cautious movements with no sudden noises, a libido that went out for cigarettes and never came back.
Wrinkles that show every emotion we've ever had and emotions we haven't even had yet, and hot flashes strong enough to power the LA energy grid.
We are loud, we are dramatic, we are hormonal, and we are unstoppable.

(07:43):
We're basically the Avengers.
If the Avengers were sweaty, tired, and one of them was named Rage Walker, but kidding aside, let's be real for a minute.
Menopause feels lonely, like talking to yourself in the car, lonely.
You think you're going crazy.
You think you're the only one.
Forgetting words like refrigerator and cell phone.

(08:06):
You think you're the only one who wakes up soaked like you slept in a kitty pool, but you're not crazy.
You're not broken.
And you're definitely not alone.
You are just menopausal, which is basically like being a superhero with sensory overload and limited patience.
And this, this is why I created the Menopause Mafia.

(08:28):
So no woman ever feels like she's losing her mind in silence.
If we're losing our shit, we're doing it together and laughing while we do.
But listen.
There are a million menopause websites, groups and resources out there.
And by no means are any of them bad.
They're just serving a different purpose.

(08:50):
And what I wanted was something more human, something messy, funny and real just like me.
And so we are the opposite.
We are colorful, we are unfiltered.
And we are definitely a little unhinged and we are absolutely done pretending.

(09:10):
And where others say, track your symptoms, we say, girl, just write chaos for every day and call it good.
And where others say, Hey, try meditation.
We say, honestly, just throw your bra across the fucking room and breathe aggressively.
It's all the same thing.
This is not a medical community.
It's a comedy cult where the only weapons that we carry are sarcasm, sweat, and portable fans.

(09:36):
So if this episode made you laugh, relate, cry, or scream in agreement, or welcome to the mafia.
Now, before I go, please do me a favor and hit the subscribe, follow and download buttons below.
And also be sure to share the podcast with any other menopausal queen who needs a laugh as much as you do.

(10:00):
Again, I'm Misty Graham and this is Menopause On the mic and girl, we sweat, we swear, and we survive together.
And be sure to find me on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.