December 11, 2025 • 12 mins
In this episode of 'Menopause on the Mic,' host Misti Graham humorously delves into the sleep disturbances experienced during menopause. Through vivid storytelling and witty observations, Misti describes the shift from a once restful sleep to sleepless nights spent overthinking and feeling restless. She highlights the absurdity of midnight thoughts, the futile advice from others, and the weird behaviors resulting from extreme sleep deprivation. Ultimately, she emphasizes the importance of solidarity among women enduring menopause, assuring them they are not losing their minds, and inviting them to find comfort and laughter in shared experiences.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Hello and welcome to Menopause on the Mic.
I'm your host, Misti Graham.
The voice in your ear, the woman in your corner, and someone whose relationship with sleep is currently, well, let's just call it complicated, someone who now measures sleep in minutes, not hours, and someone who hasn't slept since the Obama administration.
(00:22):
And so with that said, let's get into it.
And start with this sleep has officially left the chat.
Yep.
She packed her bags, left a note and said, it's not you, it's your hormones.
And honestly, she didn't even try to ease us into it.
No soft launch, no warning signs.
(00:43):
She just waved her way right out of our lives.
One night we were sleeping like children, waiting for Santa to arrive, and the next night we were awake at 4:00 AM staring at the ceiling fan like what the actual fuck.
We used to be really good sleepers, like really good.
We slept like people who didn't have opinions about mattress firmness or the softness of our pillows.
(01:07):
We slept through thunderstorms.
Alarms through everything.
Including a neighbor's dog named Diesel who barked like he got paid per decibel.
Hell, we even slept through entire decades with nothing but a blanket and blind optimism.
We slept through bad boyfriends, early flights, and that one time we ate an entire pizza at 11:00 PM Drank way too many martinis and woke up feeling nothing but peace.
(01:35):
There was a time where we could fall asleep anywhere.
Couches, cars, movie theaters.
Thanksgiving gatherings.
Some of us could even sleep standing up like a board security guard.
We used to have elite sleep performance.
Now I'm talking like fall asleep in five minutes, stay asleep through a parade.
.33333333Energy fireworks didn't budge, someone vacuuming, stayed unconscious. 26 00:02:01,313.33333333 --> 00:02:03,78.33333333 But those were the simpler times. 27 00:02:03,908.33333333 --> 00:02:12,578.33333333 And now we close our eyes at 10:34 PM and wake up at 1:12 AM like someone just hit our internal panic button. 28 00:02:12,758.33333333 --> 00:02:30,368.33333333 And then we lie there thinking, who do I talk to about this? Is there an 800 customer service number for sleep? Do I need to submit a ticket to someone? Is there a wait list? Can I bribe someone? Does sleep have a manager? And if so, I'd really like to speak to her. 29 00:02:30,848.33333333 --> 00:02:33,818.33333333 At this point, we'd even join a loyalty program. 30 00:02:34,113.33333333 --> 00:02:35,733.33333333 We'd enroll in sleep rewards. 31 00:02:36,63.33333333 --> 00:02:42,483.33333333 We'd even watch a four hour PowerPoint titled, congratulations, you're awake for no damn reason. 32 00:02:43,173.33333333 --> 00:02:45,813.33333333 Menopause didn't just take our sleep though. 33 00:02:46,173.33333333 --> 00:02:53,223.33333333 She repossessed it like a tow truck, snatching your car at 3:00 AM She didn't leave a warning notice, just boop. 34 00:02:53,313.33333333 --> 00:02:56,928.33333333 Gone, and she probably charged us a fee on the way out. 35 00:02:57,368.33333333 --> 00:03:10,418.33333333 And as we all know, once sleep disappears, we discover what really unravels next our minds, otherwise known as the 3:00 AM hour where our sanity quietly goes to die. 36 00:03:11,198.33333333 --> 00:03:12,428.33333333 We don't just wake up. 37 00:03:12,548.33333333 --> 00:03:14,438.33333333 We wake up like we're being summoned. 38 00:03:14,978.33333333 --> 00:03:18,368.33333333 Eyes open, heart beating, like we heard a noise downstairs. 39 00:03:19,163.33333333 --> 00:03:23,753.33333333 Brain fully alert, but for absolutely no reason. 40 00:03:24,473.33333333 --> 00:03:30,83.33333333 And then there we are again, lying in the dark, staring at the ceiling, thinking thoughts. 41 00:03:30,83.33333333 --> 00:03:37,13.33333333 We never ask for Not deep thoughts, not meaningful thoughts, not even useful thoughts. 42 00:03:37,133.33333333 --> 00:03:37,823.33333333 Nope. 43 00:03:38,243.33333333 --> 00:03:41,183.33333333 Menopause has us thinking about things like. 44 00:03:41,573.33333333 --> 00:03:54,713.33333333 That one thing we said to a cashier at Nordstrom's back in 2009, whether or not we locked the back door, why our bladder goes from, Hey, I'm fine to evacuate immediately with zero warning. 45 00:03:55,253.33333333 --> 00:04:05,33.33333333 Why? Our balance now acts like we're permanently walking on a moving bus and whether the smoke detector actually chirped or if that was just a hallucination. 46 00:04:05,663.33333333 --> 00:04:08,603.33333333 Sometimes we even spiral into thoughts like. 47 00:04:08,984.59631491 --> 00:04:14,864.59631491 Who was the first person to actually look at a cow and say, I'm gonna drink whatever comes outta that. 48 00:04:15,524.59631491 --> 00:04:34,361.59966499 Did I ever pay that one parking ticket or am I secretly wanted in some small town somewhere? Or did I actually use that much aquanet on my bangs for my high school senior yearbook photo? It's not anxiety, it's not insomnia, it's menopausal karaoke. 49 00:04:34,811.59966499 --> 00:04:37,661.59966499 Just random thoughts popping up on the screen. 50 00:04:37,781.59966499 --> 00:04:43,498.26633166 Uninvited off key and very loud, but then comes the best part. 51 00:04:43,938.26633166 --> 00:04:45,948.26633166 We don't stay in bed quietly. 52 00:04:46,108.26633166 --> 00:04:48,418.26633166 Oh no, we enter stage two. 53 00:04:48,778.26633166 --> 00:04:51,388.26633166 The, let me fix my entire life right now. 54 00:04:51,388.26633166 --> 00:04:53,908.26633166 Phase where basically all ideas are bad. 55 00:04:54,467.26633166 --> 00:05:02,502.26633166 This is where the sleep deprivation turns into a philosopher, a motivational speaker, and a confused squirrel all at once. 56 00:05:03,407.26633166 --> 00:05:07,247.26633166 At 1:43 AM we suddenly decide the following. 57 00:05:07,847.26633166 --> 00:05:10,157.26633166 We're going to reorganize the garage. 58 00:05:10,487.26633166 --> 00:05:14,687.26633166 We're going to meal prep for the next three years, we're gonna start journaling. 59 00:05:14,687.26633166 --> 00:05:20,327.26633166 Even though we never have used any of the 13 journals we've already bought, we should learn a new language. 60 00:05:21,92.26633166 --> 00:05:22,202.26633166 Maybe Norwegian. 61 00:05:22,352.26633166 --> 00:05:24,542.26633166 Why? I have no fucking clue. 62 00:05:24,992.26633166 --> 00:05:27,362.26633166 We're gonna outline a business plan for an idea. 63 00:05:27,362.26633166 --> 00:05:28,832.26633166 We'll forget by sunrise. 64 00:05:29,222.26633166 --> 00:05:36,722.26633166 We will Google questions like, why did I think adulthood would be fun? We send texts to our friends like, sounds good. 65 00:05:36,872.26633166 --> 00:05:39,572.26633166 When it absolutely does not sound good. 66 00:05:39,962.26633166 --> 00:05:42,932.26633166 We start drafts of emails that we never send. 67 00:05:43,232.26633166 --> 00:05:45,452.26633166 We make lists that we will never look at again. 68 00:05:45,822.26633166 --> 00:05:49,722.26633166 We stare at our laundry basket, like it holds the secrets of the universe. 69 00:05:49,812.26633166 --> 00:05:52,92.26633166 We consider cutting ourselves bangs. 70 00:05:52,572.26633166 --> 00:05:58,2.26633166 We think about remodeling the kitchen at 4:00 AM like we're hosting an HGTV show. 71 00:05:58,542.26633166 --> 00:06:00,642.26633166 Nothing good happens during this phase. 72 00:06:01,377.26633166 --> 00:06:04,197.26633166 But does that stop us? Absolutely not. 73 00:06:04,557.26633166 --> 00:06:05,247.26633166 We're up. 74 00:06:05,517.26633166 --> 00:06:07,467.26633166 We're tired, we're delusional. 75 00:06:07,677.26633166 --> 00:06:11,667.26633166 And that ladies and gentle women is a deadly combination. 76 00:06:11,887.26633166 --> 00:06:21,310.59966499 And then because menopause loves chaos, morning arrives, and this is where our sanity fully leaves the premises. 77 00:06:21,790.59966499 --> 00:06:25,180.59966499 You get outta bed feeling like you've lived three lifetimes. 78 00:06:25,360.59966499 --> 00:06:27,10.59966499 Your eyelids feel heavy. 79 00:06:27,280.59966499 --> 00:06:29,890.59966499 Your decision making skills are non-existent. 80 00:06:30,220.59966499 --> 00:06:31,570.59966499 Your patience is missing. 81 00:06:31,960.59966499 --> 00:06:34,960.59966499 Your emotional stability is on a permanent coffee break. 82 00:06:35,110.59966499 --> 00:06:36,730.59966499 Your soul is buffering. 83 00:06:37,90.59966499 --> 00:06:45,10.59966499 And then someone, usually someone who slept a full eight hours without interruption has the audacity to say. 84 00:06:45,550.59966499 --> 00:06:49,80.59966499 Wow, you look tired to which you respond. 85 00:06:49,80.59966499 --> 00:06:50,10.59966499 Why? Thank you. 86 00:06:50,10.59966499 --> 00:06:50,430.59966499 Captain. 87 00:06:50,430.59966499 --> 00:06:54,120.59966499 Obvious what gave it away? The under eye bags. 88 00:06:54,360.59966499 --> 00:06:56,310.59966499 The lost vacant expression. 89 00:06:56,820.59966499 --> 00:06:59,610.59966499 The fact that I forgot my own kid's name this morning. 90 00:07:00,0.59966499 --> 00:07:03,600.59966499 Maybe it was the fact that I'm wearing mismatched shoes and I didn't even notice. 91 00:07:04,180.59966499 --> 00:07:12,790.59966499 Could it be that I only put mascara on one eye because I got distracted halfway through my makeup application? It's not just exhaustion. 92 00:07:13,330.59966499 --> 00:07:16,450.59966499 It's a kind of cosmic confusion that settles in. 93 00:07:16,960.59966499 --> 00:07:21,430.59966499 We lose words, we lose thoughts, we lose entire conversations. 94 00:07:21,430.59966499 --> 00:07:22,180.59966499 Mid-sentence. 95 00:07:22,180.59966499 --> 00:07:34,757.26633166 We start telling stories and halfway through go, where was I going with this? Does anyone remember? Did I actually have a point? Sanity didn't just slip out quietly. 96 00:07:35,177.26633166 --> 00:07:40,967.26633166 She checked out completely and left her badge, her keys, and her parking pass on the desk. 97 00:07:41,372.26633166 --> 00:07:47,702.26633166 And when sanity vanishes, that's when the truly unhinged coping behavior begins. 98 00:07:47,762.26633166 --> 00:08:00,425.59966499 And this ladies is where the wheels officially come off, otherwise known as sleep deprived activities we'd prefer not to discuss, but will the weird things we do when we're running on fumes. 99 00:08:01,40.59966499 --> 00:08:07,460.59966499 Legendary sleep deprivation has turned us into the strangest version of ourselves. 100 00:08:07,940.59966499 --> 00:08:12,20.59966499 We've walked around the house holding our phone while frantically searching for our phone. 101 00:08:12,530.59966499 --> 00:08:14,270.59966499 We've put laundry in the dryer. 102 00:08:14,330.59966499 --> 00:08:17,900.59966499 Hit start, and then realized we never even washed it first. 103 00:08:18,320.59966499 --> 00:08:25,670.59966499 We've replied to an email, reread it, panicked, deleted it, rewrote it, and then still sent it with a typo. 104 00:08:26,90.59966499 --> 00:08:29,270.59966499 We've started a dishwasher without loading a single dish. 105 00:08:29,630.59966499 --> 00:08:35,60.59966499 We've carried 12 grocery bags at once because we refuse to make a second trip. 106 00:08:35,570.59966499 --> 00:08:39,830.59966499 We've opened the fridge repeatedly, like we're expecting new options to appear. 107 00:08:40,385.59966499 --> 00:08:45,245.59966499 We've gone to grab something and forgotten mid reach what that something actually was. 108 00:08:45,725.59966499 --> 00:08:50,345.59966499 We've walked into a room with purpose and left defeated because the purpose evaporated. 109 00:08:50,885.59966499 --> 00:08:54,485.59966499 We've put our keys in the pantry and then acted shocked when we found them. 110 00:08:55,55.59966499 --> 00:09:00,245.59966499 We've typed a message into the calculator app on our phone and wondered why no one replied. 111 00:09:00,815.59966499 --> 00:09:04,565.59966499 We put our coffee in the microwave and then found it 14 hours later. 112 00:09:05,345.59966499 --> 00:09:07,235.59966499 Our brains are not braining. 113 00:09:07,475.59966499 --> 00:09:08,885.59966499 Our minds are not minding. 114 00:09:09,125.59966499 --> 00:09:16,25.59966499 Our sanity is not sanity, but the craziest part, we chalk it up to just being tired. 115 00:09:16,445.59966499 --> 00:09:17,465.59966499 Just tired. 116 00:09:17,525.59966499 --> 00:09:19,55.59966499 Sweet baby Jesus. 117 00:09:19,325.59966499 --> 00:09:24,245.59966499 This level of tired should come with a medical bracelet as if we aren't suffering enough. 118 00:09:24,245.59966499 --> 00:09:31,385.59966499 This is the moment the world decides that it's okay to offer us the absolute worst suggestions. 119 00:09:32,31.21803462 --> 00:09:35,953.52261307 Such as? Have you tried relaxing? Oh, wow. 120 00:09:36,73.52261307 --> 00:09:37,663.52261307 Revolutionary idea. 121 00:09:37,663.52261307 --> 00:09:39,373.52261307 Linda, thanks for the tip. 122 00:09:39,876.66890006 --> 00:09:41,646.66890006 Just don't think so much at night. 123 00:09:42,149.81518705 --> 00:09:43,469.81518705 Excellent idea. 124 00:09:43,499.81518705 --> 00:09:47,249.81518705 I'll just tell my brain to shut off because that shouldn't be too difficult. 125 00:09:47,843.57984366 --> 00:09:49,193.57984366 Avoid screen time. 126 00:09:49,643.57984366 --> 00:09:50,33.57984366 Okay. 127 00:09:50,33.57984366 --> 00:09:58,193.57984366 But screens are the only thing stopping me from writing a to-do list at 2:00 AM that I will absolutely 100% ignore tomorrow. 128 00:09:58,793.57984366 --> 00:10:00,53.57984366 Drink herbal tea. 129 00:10:00,353.57984366 --> 00:10:01,13.57984366 Sure. 130 00:10:01,223.57984366 --> 00:10:04,913.57984366 Because what I need at 9:00 PM is more liquid in my bladder. 131 00:10:05,513.57984366 --> 00:10:14,573.57984366 Try going to bed earlier, darling, I could go to bed at 4:00 PM and still wake up at 1:00 AM ready for an overnight shift at a factory. 132 00:10:15,53.57984366 --> 00:10:16,493.57984366 None of it works. 133 00:10:16,703.57984366 --> 00:10:20,903.57984366 None of it even makes sense because this isn't insomnia. 134 00:10:20,903.57984366 --> 00:10:22,493.57984366 You cure with vibes. 135 00:10:22,673.57984366 --> 00:10:25,523.57984366 This is menopause level sleep, terrorism. 136 00:10:26,278.57984366 --> 00:10:27,763.57984366 So here's where we shift. 137 00:10:28,418.57984366 --> 00:10:34,58.57984366 Let's step away from the chaos, gather ourselves and talk about what we actually need. 138 00:10:34,88.57984366 --> 00:10:41,678.57984366 Besides a fully induced coma and spoiler, none of it involves meditation apps or yoga with a woman named Sage. 139 00:10:42,218.57984366 --> 00:10:47,408.57984366 We need someone to pat us on the shoulder and simply say, you're not losing your mind. 140 00:10:47,588.57984366 --> 00:10:50,918.57984366 You're just in your midlife era, and it's okay. 141 00:10:51,543.57984366 --> 00:11:03,156.913177 We need other women who can say, oh, I too am absolutely held together by caffeine and pure delusion instead of, have you tried magnesium? Why? Yes, Susan. 142 00:11:03,156.913177 --> 00:11:04,446.913177 I've tried magnesium. 143 00:11:04,686.913177 --> 00:11:08,976.913177 I've tried enough magnesium that I could actually open a crystal shop if I wanted to. 144 00:11:09,483.57984366 --> 00:11:17,403.57984366 We need a place where we can laugh about the chaos instead of pretending that we're thriving when we're actually on our third personality of the week. 145 00:11:17,853.57984366 --> 00:11:19,353.57984366 Our sanity isn't gone. 146 00:11:19,593.57984366 --> 00:11:25,473.57984366 She just clocked out and left an out of office message, be back whenever the fuck I feel like it. 147 00:11:25,803.57984366 --> 00:11:26,493.57984366 And sleep. 148 00:11:27,33.57984366 --> 00:11:35,193.57984366 Sleep will eventually wander back in probably acting like nothing happened, but while sleep and sanity are out there living their best lives. 149 00:11:35,478.57984366 --> 00:11:36,648.57984366 We need each other. 150 00:11:36,948.57984366 --> 00:11:38,328.57984366 We need the group chat. 151 00:11:38,658.57984366 --> 00:11:47,568.57984366 We need the sisterhood of women who get it without explanations, disclaimers, or diagrams, and that my friends, is what brings us home. 152 00:11:48,48.57984366 --> 00:11:59,898.57984366 If menopause has taken your sleep, if it has misplaced your sanity, if you're awake at unholy hours contemplating your existence, then, babe, let me tell you, you belong here. 153 00:12:00,168.57984366 --> 00:12:18,233.57984366 And before menopause, like the mafia wax, whatever's left of our sanity, please subscribe to the podcast, leave a review, send the link to a friend who's also up at 2:00 AM negotiating with her hormones, because if we're losing sleep, at least we're not losing our humor. 154 00:12:19,133.57984366 --> 00:12:31,433.57984366 I am your host, Misti Graham, and this is Menopause On the Mic, the official podcast of the Menopause Mafia, where we cannot promise to fix your sleep, but we can promise to make you laugh while you're awake against your will.
Hello and welcome to Menopause on the Mic.
I'm your host, Misti Graham.
The voice in your ear, the woman in your corner, and someone whose relationship with sleep is currently, well, let's just call it complicated, someone who now measures sleep in minutes, not hours, and someone who hasn't slept since the Obama administration.
(00:22):
And so with that said, let's get into it.
And start with this sleep has officially left the chat.
Yep.
She packed her bags, left a note and said, it's not you, it's your hormones.
And honestly, she didn't even try to ease us into it.
No soft launch, no warning signs.
(00:43):
She just waved her way right out of our lives.
One night we were sleeping like children, waiting for Santa to arrive, and the next night we were awake at 4:00 AM staring at the ceiling fan like what the actual fuck.
We used to be really good sleepers, like really good.
We slept like people who didn't have opinions about mattress firmness or the softness of our pillows.
(01:07):
We slept through thunderstorms.
Alarms through everything.
Including a neighbor's dog named Diesel who barked like he got paid per decibel.
Hell, we even slept through entire decades with nothing but a blanket and blind optimism.
We slept through bad boyfriends, early flights, and that one time we ate an entire pizza at 11:00 PM Drank way too many martinis and woke up feeling nothing but peace.
(01:35):
There was a time where we could fall asleep anywhere.
Couches, cars, movie theaters.
Thanksgiving gatherings.
Some of us could even sleep standing up like a board security guard.
We used to have elite sleep performance.
Now I'm talking like fall asleep in five minutes, stay asleep through a parade.
.33333333Energy fireworks didn't budge, someone vacuuming, stayed unconscious. 26 00:02:01,313.33333333 --> 00:02:03,78.33333333 But those were the simpler times. 27 00:02:03,908.33333333 --> 00:02:12,578.33333333 And now we close our eyes at 10:34 PM and wake up at 1:12 AM like someone just hit our internal panic button. 28 00:02:12,758.33333333 --> 00:02:30,368.33333333 And then we lie there thinking, who do I talk to about this? Is there an 800 customer service number for sleep? Do I need to submit a ticket to someone? Is there a wait list? Can I bribe someone? Does sleep have a manager? And if so, I'd really like to speak to her. 29 00:02:30,848.33333333 --> 00:02:33,818.33333333 At this point, we'd even join a loyalty program. 30 00:02:34,113.33333333 --> 00:02:35,733.33333333 We'd enroll in sleep rewards. 31 00:02:36,63.33333333 --> 00:02:42,483.33333333 We'd even watch a four hour PowerPoint titled, congratulations, you're awake for no damn reason. 32 00:02:43,173.33333333 --> 00:02:45,813.33333333 Menopause didn't just take our sleep though. 33 00:02:46,173.33333333 --> 00:02:53,223.33333333 She repossessed it like a tow truck, snatching your car at 3:00 AM She didn't leave a warning notice, just boop. 34 00:02:53,313.33333333 --> 00:02:56,928.33333333 Gone, and she probably charged us a fee on the way out. 35 00:02:57,368.33333333 --> 00:03:10,418.33333333 And as we all know, once sleep disappears, we discover what really unravels next our minds, otherwise known as the 3:00 AM hour where our sanity quietly goes to die. 36 00:03:11,198.33333333 --> 00:03:12,428.33333333 We don't just wake up. 37 00:03:12,548.33333333 --> 00:03:14,438.33333333 We wake up like we're being summoned. 38 00:03:14,978.33333333 --> 00:03:18,368.33333333 Eyes open, heart beating, like we heard a noise downstairs. 39 00:03:19,163.33333333 --> 00:03:23,753.33333333 Brain fully alert, but for absolutely no reason. 40 00:03:24,473.33333333 --> 00:03:30,83.33333333 And then there we are again, lying in the dark, staring at the ceiling, thinking thoughts. 41 00:03:30,83.33333333 --> 00:03:37,13.33333333 We never ask for Not deep thoughts, not meaningful thoughts, not even useful thoughts. 42 00:03:37,133.33333333 --> 00:03:37,823.33333333 Nope. 43 00:03:38,243.33333333 --> 00:03:41,183.33333333 Menopause has us thinking about things like. 44 00:03:41,573.33333333 --> 00:03:54,713.33333333 That one thing we said to a cashier at Nordstrom's back in 2009, whether or not we locked the back door, why our bladder goes from, Hey, I'm fine to evacuate immediately with zero warning. 45 00:03:55,253.33333333 --> 00:04:05,33.33333333 Why? Our balance now acts like we're permanently walking on a moving bus and whether the smoke detector actually chirped or if that was just a hallucination. 46 00:04:05,663.33333333 --> 00:04:08,603.33333333 Sometimes we even spiral into thoughts like. 47 00:04:08,984.59631491 --> 00:04:14,864.59631491 Who was the first person to actually look at a cow and say, I'm gonna drink whatever comes outta that. 48 00:04:15,524.59631491 --> 00:04:34,361.59966499 Did I ever pay that one parking ticket or am I secretly wanted in some small town somewhere? Or did I actually use that much aquanet on my bangs for my high school senior yearbook photo? It's not anxiety, it's not insomnia, it's menopausal karaoke. 49 00:04:34,811.59966499 --> 00:04:37,661.59966499 Just random thoughts popping up on the screen. 50 00:04:37,781.59966499 --> 00:04:43,498.26633166 Uninvited off key and very loud, but then comes the best part. 51 00:04:43,938.26633166 --> 00:04:45,948.26633166 We don't stay in bed quietly. 52 00:04:46,108.26633166 --> 00:04:48,418.26633166 Oh no, we enter stage two. 53 00:04:48,778.26633166 --> 00:04:51,388.26633166 The, let me fix my entire life right now. 54 00:04:51,388.26633166 --> 00:04:53,908.26633166 Phase where basically all ideas are bad. 55 00:04:54,467.26633166 --> 00:05:02,502.26633166 This is where the sleep deprivation turns into a philosopher, a motivational speaker, and a confused squirrel all at once. 56 00:05:03,407.26633166 --> 00:05:07,247.26633166 At 1:43 AM we suddenly decide the following. 57 00:05:07,847.26633166 --> 00:05:10,157.26633166 We're going to reorganize the garage. 58 00:05:10,487.26633166 --> 00:05:14,687.26633166 We're going to meal prep for the next three years, we're gonna start journaling. 59 00:05:14,687.26633166 --> 00:05:20,327.26633166 Even though we never have used any of the 13 journals we've already bought, we should learn a new language. 60 00:05:21,92.26633166 --> 00:05:22,202.26633166 Maybe Norwegian. 61 00:05:22,352.26633166 --> 00:05:24,542.26633166 Why? I have no fucking clue. 62 00:05:24,992.26633166 --> 00:05:27,362.26633166 We're gonna outline a business plan for an idea. 63 00:05:27,362.26633166 --> 00:05:28,832.26633166 We'll forget by sunrise. 64 00:05:29,222.26633166 --> 00:05:36,722.26633166 We will Google questions like, why did I think adulthood would be fun? We send texts to our friends like, sounds good. 65 00:05:36,872.26633166 --> 00:05:39,572.26633166 When it absolutely does not sound good. 66 00:05:39,962.26633166 --> 00:05:42,932.26633166 We start drafts of emails that we never send. 67 00:05:43,232.26633166 --> 00:05:45,452.26633166 We make lists that we will never look at again. 68 00:05:45,822.26633166 --> 00:05:49,722.26633166 We stare at our laundry basket, like it holds the secrets of the universe. 69 00:05:49,812.26633166 --> 00:05:52,92.26633166 We consider cutting ourselves bangs. 70 00:05:52,572.26633166 --> 00:05:58,2.26633166 We think about remodeling the kitchen at 4:00 AM like we're hosting an HGTV show. 71 00:05:58,542.26633166 --> 00:06:00,642.26633166 Nothing good happens during this phase. 72 00:06:01,377.26633166 --> 00:06:04,197.26633166 But does that stop us? Absolutely not. 73 00:06:04,557.26633166 --> 00:06:05,247.26633166 We're up. 74 00:06:05,517.26633166 --> 00:06:07,467.26633166 We're tired, we're delusional. 75 00:06:07,677.26633166 --> 00:06:11,667.26633166 And that ladies and gentle women is a deadly combination. 76 00:06:11,887.26633166 --> 00:06:21,310.59966499 And then because menopause loves chaos, morning arrives, and this is where our sanity fully leaves the premises. 77 00:06:21,790.59966499 --> 00:06:25,180.59966499 You get outta bed feeling like you've lived three lifetimes. 78 00:06:25,360.59966499 --> 00:06:27,10.59966499 Your eyelids feel heavy. 79 00:06:27,280.59966499 --> 00:06:29,890.59966499 Your decision making skills are non-existent. 80 00:06:30,220.59966499 --> 00:06:31,570.59966499 Your patience is missing. 81 00:06:31,960.59966499 --> 00:06:34,960.59966499 Your emotional stability is on a permanent coffee break. 82 00:06:35,110.59966499 --> 00:06:36,730.59966499 Your soul is buffering. 83 00:06:37,90.59966499 --> 00:06:45,10.59966499 And then someone, usually someone who slept a full eight hours without interruption has the audacity to say. 84 00:06:45,550.59966499 --> 00:06:49,80.59966499 Wow, you look tired to which you respond. 85 00:06:49,80.59966499 --> 00:06:50,10.59966499 Why? Thank you. 86 00:06:50,10.59966499 --> 00:06:50,430.59966499 Captain. 87 00:06:50,430.59966499 --> 00:06:54,120.59966499 Obvious what gave it away? The under eye bags. 88 00:06:54,360.59966499 --> 00:06:56,310.59966499 The lost vacant expression. 89 00:06:56,820.59966499 --> 00:06:59,610.59966499 The fact that I forgot my own kid's name this morning. 90 00:07:00,0.59966499 --> 00:07:03,600.59966499 Maybe it was the fact that I'm wearing mismatched shoes and I didn't even notice. 91 00:07:04,180.59966499 --> 00:07:12,790.59966499 Could it be that I only put mascara on one eye because I got distracted halfway through my makeup application? It's not just exhaustion. 92 00:07:13,330.59966499 --> 00:07:16,450.59966499 It's a kind of cosmic confusion that settles in. 93 00:07:16,960.59966499 --> 00:07:21,430.59966499 We lose words, we lose thoughts, we lose entire conversations. 94 00:07:21,430.59966499 --> 00:07:22,180.59966499 Mid-sentence. 95 00:07:22,180.59966499 --> 00:07:34,757.26633166 We start telling stories and halfway through go, where was I going with this? Does anyone remember? Did I actually have a point? Sanity didn't just slip out quietly. 96 00:07:35,177.26633166 --> 00:07:40,967.26633166 She checked out completely and left her badge, her keys, and her parking pass on the desk. 97 00:07:41,372.26633166 --> 00:07:47,702.26633166 And when sanity vanishes, that's when the truly unhinged coping behavior begins. 98 00:07:47,762.26633166 --> 00:08:00,425.59966499 And this ladies is where the wheels officially come off, otherwise known as sleep deprived activities we'd prefer not to discuss, but will the weird things we do when we're running on fumes. 99 00:08:01,40.59966499 --> 00:08:07,460.59966499 Legendary sleep deprivation has turned us into the strangest version of ourselves. 100 00:08:07,940.59966499 --> 00:08:12,20.59966499 We've walked around the house holding our phone while frantically searching for our phone. 101 00:08:12,530.59966499 --> 00:08:14,270.59966499 We've put laundry in the dryer. 102 00:08:14,330.59966499 --> 00:08:17,900.59966499 Hit start, and then realized we never even washed it first. 103 00:08:18,320.59966499 --> 00:08:25,670.59966499 We've replied to an email, reread it, panicked, deleted it, rewrote it, and then still sent it with a typo. 104 00:08:26,90.59966499 --> 00:08:29,270.59966499 We've started a dishwasher without loading a single dish. 105 00:08:29,630.59966499 --> 00:08:35,60.59966499 We've carried 12 grocery bags at once because we refuse to make a second trip. 106 00:08:35,570.59966499 --> 00:08:39,830.59966499 We've opened the fridge repeatedly, like we're expecting new options to appear. 107 00:08:40,385.59966499 --> 00:08:45,245.59966499 We've gone to grab something and forgotten mid reach what that something actually was. 108 00:08:45,725.59966499 --> 00:08:50,345.59966499 We've walked into a room with purpose and left defeated because the purpose evaporated. 109 00:08:50,885.59966499 --> 00:08:54,485.59966499 We've put our keys in the pantry and then acted shocked when we found them. 110 00:08:55,55.59966499 --> 00:09:00,245.59966499 We've typed a message into the calculator app on our phone and wondered why no one replied. 111 00:09:00,815.59966499 --> 00:09:04,565.59966499 We put our coffee in the microwave and then found it 14 hours later. 112 00:09:05,345.59966499 --> 00:09:07,235.59966499 Our brains are not braining. 113 00:09:07,475.59966499 --> 00:09:08,885.59966499 Our minds are not minding. 114 00:09:09,125.59966499 --> 00:09:16,25.59966499 Our sanity is not sanity, but the craziest part, we chalk it up to just being tired. 115 00:09:16,445.59966499 --> 00:09:17,465.59966499 Just tired. 116 00:09:17,525.59966499 --> 00:09:19,55.59966499 Sweet baby Jesus. 117 00:09:19,325.59966499 --> 00:09:24,245.59966499 This level of tired should come with a medical bracelet as if we aren't suffering enough. 118 00:09:24,245.59966499 --> 00:09:31,385.59966499 This is the moment the world decides that it's okay to offer us the absolute worst suggestions. 119 00:09:32,31.21803462 --> 00:09:35,953.52261307 Such as? Have you tried relaxing? Oh, wow. 120 00:09:36,73.52261307 --> 00:09:37,663.52261307 Revolutionary idea. 121 00:09:37,663.52261307 --> 00:09:39,373.52261307 Linda, thanks for the tip. 122 00:09:39,876.66890006 --> 00:09:41,646.66890006 Just don't think so much at night. 123 00:09:42,149.81518705 --> 00:09:43,469.81518705 Excellent idea. 124 00:09:43,499.81518705 --> 00:09:47,249.81518705 I'll just tell my brain to shut off because that shouldn't be too difficult. 125 00:09:47,843.57984366 --> 00:09:49,193.57984366 Avoid screen time. 126 00:09:49,643.57984366 --> 00:09:50,33.57984366 Okay. 127 00:09:50,33.57984366 --> 00:09:58,193.57984366 But screens are the only thing stopping me from writing a to-do list at 2:00 AM that I will absolutely 100% ignore tomorrow. 128 00:09:58,793.57984366 --> 00:10:00,53.57984366 Drink herbal tea. 129 00:10:00,353.57984366 --> 00:10:01,13.57984366 Sure. 130 00:10:01,223.57984366 --> 00:10:04,913.57984366 Because what I need at 9:00 PM is more liquid in my bladder. 131 00:10:05,513.57984366 --> 00:10:14,573.57984366 Try going to bed earlier, darling, I could go to bed at 4:00 PM and still wake up at 1:00 AM ready for an overnight shift at a factory. 132 00:10:15,53.57984366 --> 00:10:16,493.57984366 None of it works. 133 00:10:16,703.57984366 --> 00:10:20,903.57984366 None of it even makes sense because this isn't insomnia. 134 00:10:20,903.57984366 --> 00:10:22,493.57984366 You cure with vibes. 135 00:10:22,673.57984366 --> 00:10:25,523.57984366 This is menopause level sleep, terrorism. 136 00:10:26,278.57984366 --> 00:10:27,763.57984366 So here's where we shift. 137 00:10:28,418.57984366 --> 00:10:34,58.57984366 Let's step away from the chaos, gather ourselves and talk about what we actually need. 138 00:10:34,88.57984366 --> 00:10:41,678.57984366 Besides a fully induced coma and spoiler, none of it involves meditation apps or yoga with a woman named Sage. 139 00:10:42,218.57984366 --> 00:10:47,408.57984366 We need someone to pat us on the shoulder and simply say, you're not losing your mind. 140 00:10:47,588.57984366 --> 00:10:50,918.57984366 You're just in your midlife era, and it's okay. 141 00:10:51,543.57984366 --> 00:11:03,156.913177 We need other women who can say, oh, I too am absolutely held together by caffeine and pure delusion instead of, have you tried magnesium? Why? Yes, Susan. 142 00:11:03,156.913177 --> 00:11:04,446.913177 I've tried magnesium. 143 00:11:04,686.913177 --> 00:11:08,976.913177 I've tried enough magnesium that I could actually open a crystal shop if I wanted to. 144 00:11:09,483.57984366 --> 00:11:17,403.57984366 We need a place where we can laugh about the chaos instead of pretending that we're thriving when we're actually on our third personality of the week. 145 00:11:17,853.57984366 --> 00:11:19,353.57984366 Our sanity isn't gone. 146 00:11:19,593.57984366 --> 00:11:25,473.57984366 She just clocked out and left an out of office message, be back whenever the fuck I feel like it. 147 00:11:25,803.57984366 --> 00:11:26,493.57984366 And sleep. 148 00:11:27,33.57984366 --> 00:11:35,193.57984366 Sleep will eventually wander back in probably acting like nothing happened, but while sleep and sanity are out there living their best lives. 149 00:11:35,478.57984366 --> 00:11:36,648.57984366 We need each other. 150 00:11:36,948.57984366 --> 00:11:38,328.57984366 We need the group chat. 151 00:11:38,658.57984366 --> 00:11:47,568.57984366 We need the sisterhood of women who get it without explanations, disclaimers, or diagrams, and that my friends, is what brings us home. 152 00:11:48,48.57984366 --> 00:11:59,898.57984366 If menopause has taken your sleep, if it has misplaced your sanity, if you're awake at unholy hours contemplating your existence, then, babe, let me tell you, you belong here. 153 00:12:00,168.57984366 --> 00:12:18,233.57984366 And before menopause, like the mafia wax, whatever's left of our sanity, please subscribe to the podcast, leave a review, send the link to a friend who's also up at 2:00 AM negotiating with her hormones, because if we're losing sleep, at least we're not losing our humor. 154 00:12:19,133.57984366 --> 00:12:31,433.57984366 I am your host, Misti Graham, and this is Menopause On the Mic, the official podcast of the Menopause Mafia, where we cannot promise to fix your sleep, but we can promise to make you laugh while you're awake against your will.
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