Episode 20: Laura Lentz on infidelity, Carl's affair & the decision to stay or go

Laura Lentz is a podcaster and one of the former leaders of Hillsong, a faith-based community in New York City. Due to their success, Hillsong became a fixture in the mainstream media, and nearly 10,000 people attended their Sunday gatherings on WEEKLY basis, which is unprecedented in a city like New York.

 

But in the fall of 2020, everything came crashing down as it was revealed that Laura's husband, Carl had been unfaithful. The affairs were a surprise to Laura, and as a public figure, she had to endure the humiliation of all of this unfolding in the public eye. Four years later, Laura has been through hell and back, and lives to tell about her experience.

 

This is the first solo interview Laura has done since the affair happened, and is a sequel to our previous conversation with Carl.

 

In this episode, we unpack the topic of infidelity, and all the complexity that comes along with it. We leave no stone unturned, discussing the trauma that comes about when you have been betrayed, navigating the decision to leave or go, and all the little moments that often lead up to an affair taking place.

 

As a media company that talks about the mind, body and spirit frequently, sex is a big topic for us. It’s estimated that cheating occurs in roughly 50% of relationships, and we found Laura’s insights on the topic to be eye-opening.

 

CHAPTERS:

0:00 - 1:47 - Intro

1:47 - 5:36 - How many people reach out to Laura

5:36 - 12:12 - The day she learned Carl cheated

12:12 - 16:18 - Her marriage was good before?

16:18 - 23:06 - What Carl was like as a husband before

23:06 - 25:57 - How Carl gaslighted Laura

25:58 - 29:12 - Processing the trauma from infidelity

29:12 - 34:52 - Delayed trauma response

34:52 - 41:45 - The decision to stay or leave

41:45 - 45:32 - Did people shame Laura?

45:32 - 48:23 - Did Laura think about revenge?

48:23 - 51:09 - Speaking to a divorce lawyer

51:09 - 57:56 - Putting boundaries in place with Carl

57:56 - 1:02:26 - Disclosing the details of infidelity

1:02:26 - 1:05:38 - What’s the point of staying?

1:05:38 - 1:06:56 - Biggest misconceptions about infidelity

1:06:56 - 1:08:47 - Is monogamy unrealistic?

1:08:47 - 1:10:44 - Are both people at fault for an affair?

1:10:44 - 1:19:53 - How this scandal affected Laura’s faith

1:19:53 - 1:21:33 - To women who have been cheated on

1:21:33 - 1:23:24 - To the people who have