Psychoanalyst Erica Komisar: How Motherhood Became a Crime

How did we get to a point where stay-at-home moms became enemies of the feminist movement? Where the work of raising children is seen as less valuable than climbing the corporate ladder?

You know the moment. You’re at a social gathering and someone asks, “So… what do you do?” You say you’re home with your kids. And the room goes quiet. Blank stares. Maybe even judgment, especially from other women.

If that’s you, it can feel like you’re doing something wrong by attending to your children full time. And if you’re the one giving that reaction, you might rattle off all the reasons career should come first.

But here’s the problem: when we diminish the work of parenting, it doesn’t just drive women into identity crises. It makes kids suffer. When we treat parenting as secondary, children absorb that ambivalence. Especially in the earliest years, when their brains are still forming. 

And when those children grow up to become tomorrow’s leaders — carrying fragile mental health, poor resilience, and broken attachment patterns — society doesn’t hold steady. It starts to fracture.

For a topic this urgent, we knew we needed someone who could cut through the noise. Erica Komisar is a feminist icon in the truest sense — an entrepreneur, a psychoanalyst, and a cultural voice who celebrates that women now have choice. She doesn’t believe every woman should have children. But she’s unapologetic about this: if you do, the first years of life carry consequences our culture can’t afford to ignore.

Over the last two years, millions have tuned into her interviews, drawn to her rare mix of honesty and expertise. After decades of guiding families through the hidden forces that shape children, she’s spent her career showing what it takes to raise kids who are secure, resilient, and ready to inherit the world.

If you’re searching for clarity on your own purpose and value, this conversation won’t just affirm you. 

It will reframe how you see the work of parenting itself.

Chapters: 0:00 - Intro 2:17 - The Complicated Relationship Between Feminism & Motherhood 33:15 - The Fantasy Of Having It All & Deciding To Have Kids 53:43 - Is Parenting Harder Than Ever Before? 1:09:27 - The Differences Between Mothers & Fathers 1:19:20 - The Financial Realities of Having Children 1:32:05 - The Decision To Use Daycare or a Nanny 1:40:42 - Erica’s Own Story of Parenting & Entrepreneurship

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Erica Komisar Links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ericakomisar/

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