Challenging People Challenging Behaviours
“Beyond the Behaviour: From Judgment to Understanding in Our Relationships”
Today in episode 15, Patricia shares her deep reflection, wisdom, and vulnerability in this transformative and thought-provoking episode, she explores the layered complexity of human behaviour, judgment, and emotional awareness. Through personal storytelling, poetic insight, and powerful analogies, Patricia takes you on a journey of moving beyond blame to build deeper, more meaningful relationships, with others and with yourself.
Discover how unconscious conditioning and childhood experiences shape our reactive patterns, why judgment fuels disconnection, and how compassion and curiosity can pave the way to healing and deeper connection. Whether you're a parent, a leader, or just someone craving healthier dynamics, this episode offers empowering mindset shifts and practical tools to move from conflict to understanding.
Highlights:
Intro
An invitation to reflect on how we judge vs. understand behaviour, especially in relationships.
The Pain Behind Behaviour
A personal share on how behaviours often mask pain, not personality.
The Judgment Loop
A vulnerable moment of self-awareness and the power of stopping the cycle of judgment and criticism.
Coaching Insights
How mental fitness coaching helped shift long-held inner beliefs and reactive patterns.
A Breakthrough with My Mum
A transformative phone call and the epiphany that helped change a mother-daughter dynamic.
NLP & The Positive Intention Behind Behaviour
Introduction to the NLP presupposition: “The person is not their behaviour.”
The Orange Story
A metaphor for missed understanding, intention, and conflict in relationships.
The Language of Understanding
Why how we speak matters—switching from “you are rude” to “that behaviour feels rude.”
The Power of ‘I Wonder Why’
Three simple words that shift us into curiosity and compassion.
Emotional Triggers & Autopilot Reactions
How unresolved trauma and repressed pain fuel negative reactions like road rage.
Ted Lasso Wisdom
A powerful example of being underestimated and the life-changing quote: “Be curious, not judgmental.”
Boundaries and Self-Respect
Learning to protect your peace without losing compassion.
Final Thoughts & Affirmations
Quotes, closing affirmations, and a heartfelt reminder of your unique value and power.
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Resources & Mentions:
- Book: What Happened to You? by Oprah Winfrey & Dr. Bruce Perry
- Podcast Episode 5: “SELF TALK – I AM”
- Podcast Episode 9: “Bees Knees – A Dedication to My Mum”
- Podcast Episode 12: “Emotional Manipulation”
- Podcast Episode 14: “Real Friends”
- Quote: Walt Whitman — “Be curious, not judgmental”
- Quote: Esther Perel — “The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life.”
- Study Mentioned: The Good Life – 80-year Harvard study on happiness
- Author: Rumi – “Don’t move the way fear makes you move…”
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Episode Call to Action:
If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who’s navigating difficult relationships. Leave a review or DM me on Instagram with your thoughts. I'd love to hear what stood out for you.
Don’t forget to follow so you never miss an episode full of insight, healing, and connection.
Find out more about me on my website www.pacoaching.co.uk or book a 1:1 discovery call via email hello@pacoaching.co.uk if you would like to know more about how mental fitness can help you with your wellbeing and relationships
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