Struggling with Mom Guilt? How to Separate Your Worth From Your Child's Worst Day (And Teach Them to Do the Same)

🎯 What's Inside This Episode (Series Finale!)

In the powerful conclusion of this 3-part series, parent coach Jamie Buzelle drops THE mantra that will change your entire parenting perspective: "It's not personal, it's developmental." We're diving into Dr. Becky's game-changing airplane pilot analogy, why you have more patience with other people's kids than your own, and the three—and ONLY three—reasons behind every single behavior your child exhibits. Plus, Jamie gets beautifully vulnerable about her own journey, pushback from family, and what it really means to reparent yourself while raising your son.

💔 Why You Need to Listen to This

Do you feel personally attacked when your child says something rude? Does their "disrespectful" behavior feel like a direct assault on your worth as a parent? Are you harder on yourself than you'd ever be on another mom at the playground? Here's the truth, mama: You're taking it personally when it's actually developmental. Your child isn't trying to hurt you—they're communicating an unmet need, a missing skill, or a big feeling. This episode will help you stop internalizing every tantrum, eye roll, and defiant moment as evidence that you're failing. Because you're not failing—you're just missing the decoder ring.

✨ How This Episode Helps You

After listening, you'll be able to:

• Use the "It's not personal, it's developmental" mantra to stop taking behavior as a personal attack
• Recognize why you're more triggered by YOUR child's behavior than other kids' (and what that reveals about your nervous system)
• Apply the "Sturdy Pilot" technique to stay grounded when your child is in full meltdown mode
• Identify the THREE reasons behind ALL behavior (seriously, it's always one of these three!)
• Start small with ONE positive change instead of overhauling your entire parenting overnight
• Separate your child's worth from their worst choices (and do the same for yourself!)
• Focus on character strengths to build genuine self-esteem in your child

✈️ The Sturdy Pilot Analogy That Changes Everything

Picture This: You're on a plane hitting major turbulence. What do you need most? To hear from the pilot, right? When that calm, confident voice comes on and says, "Hey folks, we've hit a rough patch. We're going up 10,000 feet—smooth sailing from there," you instantly relax.

Now imagine that same pilot getting on the intercom and panicking: "OH MY GOD, TURBULENCE! THIS IS AWFUL! WE'RE ALL DOOMED!" Everyone on that plane would lose it.

You are that pilot for your child. When they're in the middle of a meltdown (their "turbulence"), they need you to be the sturdy, calm voice that says: "I've got this. I see you. I believe you. You are really upset. I believe you. And I still love you. And we'll get through this together."

That signals safety. That's co-regulation in action. (Thank you, Dr. Becky, for this perfect analogy!)

🔍 The Playground Test: Why Other Kids Don't Trigger You

Jamie drops this truth bomb: When you're at the playground and another child is having a tantrum or behaving badly, you don't get triggered. You look at them with patience and think, "Ah, they're having a hard time."

But when YOUR child does the exact same behavior? Your nervous system goes into overdrive.

What does this tell you? It's not about the behavior—it's about YOUR story, YOUR childhood, YOUR beliefs about what your child's behavior says about YOU as a parent. That other kid at the playground isn't carrying all your baggage about being "good enough" as a mom. Your kid is.

The solution? Find your "anchor"—the thing that brings you back to the present moment when you feel yourself starting to spiral. Jamie's is telling herself "You're safe." Natalie's is visualization and deep breathing. What's yours?

💪 Reparenting Yourself While Raising Your Child

Jamie shares something beautifully vulnerable: Every time she gives her son an opportunity she didn't have as a child, she's also giving "little Jamie" that same gift.

She grew up deeply shamed for her mistakes as a teenager—never hearing "You messed up, but you're still a great kid. Your worth isn't your worst choice." So now? She's intentional about separating her son's behavior from his identity.

The language shift that matters: ❌ "You're being so disrespectful!" ✅ "You made a bad choice, but you're still a pretty awesome kid. I know next time you'll make a better choice. And if you don't, that's okay too—you're a kid. You're supposed to mess up."

This isn't just about your child—it's about healing yourself too.

🎯 The ONLY 3 Reasons Behind Every Behavior

Jamie guarantees that EVERY SINGLE BEHAVIOR can be traced back to one of th