Self Love and Dating in the Digital Age with special guest Drea Renee

Welcome to episode 4 of Nextmoodswing where our host, Jesse, invites the host of Hey Babe, Can We Talk podcast Drea Renee for a heartfelt discussion on the modern dating landscape. Enhanced by candid personal anecdotes, the pair dive into the impact of online dating on human connections and relationships.

Join them as they delve into the world of horoscope compatibility and its influence on relationships, among other enlightening topics that revolve around love, chemistry, compatibility, and selfhood.

 

Episode Transcript

(00:09):
Well what's up y'all and welcome back to next mood swing if this is your first
time here make sure you guys hit that like and subscribe button my name is jesse
i'm gonna be taking you on this journey with me this week's been crazy i between
filming this the series with julie called guns is blazing.
If you haven't checked that out, go catch up on that work.

(00:33):
And then on top of it, my dad ended up hurting himself and had to have a pretty big surgery.
So this week's just kind of been all over the place for me.
So I appreciate y'all patience last Sunday with the episode,
but all that in saying, I got good feedback from doing the mood swing mantra.
And I did get a comment that had said to do them at the beginning of the episodes,

(00:55):
but I think I'm going to do them at the end of the episodes.
So that way it can kind of be a reflection of the conversation as well as just
kind of like a nice little mood swing on out of here.
Today's guest is Dreya Renee. I met Dreya back in my After Buzz days.
We came up in the hosting world together.
She is a ray of sunshine.

(01:18):
She has a podcast called Hey Babe Can We Talk? She had me as a guest where she,
again, made me feel really comfortable to be able to share my past,
my story, and I'm appreciative of that.
So I wanted to bring her on here to talk love, dating, the mishaps of online
dating, and all those things.
I would love to know some of the conversations that we have,

(01:42):
what you guys think, if you've had any crazy experiences or positive tricks
that you've learned throughout dating or being in relationships so once again
make sure you guys hit that like and subscribe button and enjoy the episode.
Now you ask that nobody's ever asked

(02:03):
well you girl you know so i'm like what's your
process what you doing what we doing my process
is we're just gonna jump into it because okay i like that yeah because obviously
doing your podcast and like i said i that was the first time i've ever talked
about my story but i love the idea of the theme of your podcast like with relationships

(02:25):
and And kind of like you talk about,
like, I've been through it. Yeah. So you don't have to go through it. Right.
So where did that kind of, where did that stem for you? Like,
what made you be like, this is what I want my niche to kind of be?
I think it's, well, I know it started because I felt like there was nothing
out there that I really related to.
Like, there's obviously tons of content, but content where people,

(02:47):
like, really get in the nitty gritty.
And also talk about it from a place where it's like, man, I've really messed
up. And not just giving advice, but being like, I messed up too.
I've done these really embarrassing things.
And when I was telling people the content that I wanted to put out,
they were like, Drea, people are going to think you're crazy.
And I was like, so? Okay. Very good. Oh, well.
Because I want people to know I am who I am. And I don't operate like other

(03:11):
people do. Like my brain is not the same. And I know that.
And there are places for me to go and talk about that stuff.
But those programs are private and it's anonymous. And not everybody wants to be exposed.
So I was like, man, I would love to see someone talking about this stuff so
I could help other people. So that's really where it came from.
Well, and it's so funny you say that, too, because I feel like my biggest thing

(03:33):
with me starting was like.
In my life, you know, as a Virgo, it's like, we're always helping people.
Always. How can I be of service? How can I help? Yeah.
Or even not even like, it's like, sometimes you just are naturally doing it.
But it was like, okay, I went through these traumatic experiences and I understand the lessons.
We talked about therapy, but also it's like, I don't want to just start a podcast.

(03:57):
And like, everyone has a podcast. Everyone has a podcast. Everyone's the guru.
Yes. And that's my biggest thing is like, I don't want to claim I'm a guru.
I want to sit with gurus. Yeah.
I want the gurus to teach me so that, you know, my viewers can learn through.
We can all learn together. Exactly. And I loved, like, your whole intro that you did.
No, because I think it's, again, it's this humbling. And we live in this day

(04:20):
and age with TikTok where it's like, that's what people want to connect with.
They want to feel like you're not telling them how to be better.
No. You're showing them, like, hey, let's do it together.
That's why I say I'm a relationship survivor. survivor because
I'm like I've done so many things wrong
and some of the stuff I've done is embarrassing it's created a
lot of shame but I'm trying to bring humor and make it informative at the same

(04:42):
time like hey yeah I called him 86 times I did it's okay he stayed with me to
be fair but you know like let's not do that now like let's find our self-worth
let's find our integrity and And do something else. Like call him 50 times.
And grow. And grow. Okay.
Okay. So I always like to do this when it comes to dating with conversations and my friends. Okay.

(05:05):
What is your idea of like the talking stage, dating, and then a relationship?
Like do you have boundaries as far as like the timing of that?
Like what's your, like what is talking to you?
Okay. So in the past, I've not had any boundaries, which is why I have my podcast.
I have to learn. But I'm like, what are boundaries?
Okay. Okay, so talking to me is like if you're online dating,

(05:26):
right? And you guys are exchanging messages. You're going on dates.
Maybe it's like the first two, three dates. You're still in that like,
mm-hmm, yeah, me too, that phase. That's the talking phase.
But then like after date four, five, six, and then it's like are we still on hinge?
It doesn't necessarily mean that we're exclusive, but it's like. Dating.

(05:48):
Yeah, yeah, now we're dating, right? We're just trying to hang out with each
other. And then after that, maybe like a month, then we start talking about
are we boyfriend and girlfriend?
Maybe two months. It just depends. But sometimes you meet somebody,
you just want to go fast. Period. I mean, girl.
You know, sometimes you want to go fast, but I got to go slow.
So that's kind of to me, the talking part is really like that beginning stage

(06:10):
where people are still putting their feelers out with other things, you know?
OK, so dating, is it like what would you if you found out they were dating multiple
people like or maybe there's, you know, I mean, you went on a couple of dates,
you've been talking. Yes.
Now it's been, let's say.
Two weeks. Are you also someone who's like, are you guys texting every day?

(06:33):
This is what I was going to say, because I think this guy said this to me once.
He goes, before we met, he was like, I didn't text you every day on purpose
because it does create depth.
And then there's expectations. And I know people are like, oh,
don't have expectations.
But if you're getting good morning every day, you're getting all these things.
It does start to create this connection. But if there's like a day or two in

(06:55):
between and you do create that boundary or they take two or three hours to respond.
You're like, OK, this is not my man.
OK, like we're not doing that. But if we're dating and you're texting me back,
you're talking to me at nighttime, saying goodnight, telling me what you're
doing during the day, then I'm like, OK, we're creating this next step where we are dating.
OK, so that's interesting, too, because like I feel like one dating before COVID after COVID.

(07:23):
Yeah. Also social media like social media to me like I OK, I had never used
a dating app like I mean, OK, well, before COVID.
I mean, I like been on Grindr. okay
okay okay that kind of stuff but like as far as
like a bumble or hinge no yeah so I downloaded

(07:44):
it and this is before COVID or after after
COVID after okay and I just remember being on there and you're like swiping
and I'm like this is weird I don't even know these people it's like complete
judgment what if that person was a nice person what if that person yeah you
know what I mean like and you're almost training yourself like nah nah nah and

(08:05):
I'm like these are human beings Yeah.
Probably overthinking it, but like. Shocker. That's what we do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, OK, do you feel like with online dating,
it's created this numbness in people as far as like communicating with each other?
Yeah. And like, what is your experience been with that?
I think it's made everyone think that people are just disposable,

(08:28):
like you're saying. Like, it doesn't matter.
I think there's a lot more people jumping out of things because they're like,
oh, you don't want to do what I want to do? Fine. I'm just going to keep swiping.
Or I think there's an addiction to swiping as well, even people in relationships,
because they just want to see. They want to be stimulated.
And so I do think we're losing that human connection, as you're talking about,
because even when you're on a date, people can still treat you like they're

(08:50):
not even seeing you. They're just like, maybe you go to the bathroom and they're
still like swiping. That happens to me.
Wait, you've been on a date and they were on their phone? I came back and like
where I was walking back, I could see he was on his phone. Like we were sitting in a booth.
So he's on this side. I'm on this side. I'm walking back from the bathroom.
This mug is sitting there going. And I'm like, damn.

(09:11):
Okay. And we hadn't even got the appetizer yet. So I was like,
okay, well, I'm going to check out too. Let me see what my message is. Oh, okay.
And that's the thing is like to them, like to a lot of people,
not them, but to a lot of people, it's like, oh, I was just scrolling on my phone.
Like it's almost another part of them.
It's like being on Instagram, too. It's the same thing. It's just mindless.
And it may not even mean anything. People just want to see.

(09:34):
But to me, we lose that human connection of like I'm actually on a date in real
time right now. Like this can wait till after.
And also like another thing with that is now I see that how into your phone you are.
Yeah. So now it's like, if you don't respond or you're not, or a pattern becomes
broken, it's like, well, I know you on your phone.

(09:54):
Exactly. I don't need to see you post on Instagram and other than like,
cause the way you was on your phone on that date.
But that's what people always forget. Those pattern changes in the beginning
to like the midsection to like the end of the relationship.
It's like, if you're texting me good morning every single day and then a couple
of weeks in you, it's a good afternoon.
And then, you know, a couple more weeks in you're like, oh, sorry, I was busy.

(10:15):
You know, crazy day. crazy day we're going backwards but
when you're in the beginning in the morning when you woke up that
was the first thing you thought about let me throw in a text real quick
good morning you know it almost makes you think like am i on a roster yes like
am i a part did you like put this in your schedule are you scheduling this like
and now you're realizing like oh my days aren't as free as i thought like right

(10:36):
this becomes it's almost like social media has created too much accessibility
and that numbness to disposing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, what was a moment for you where you kind of
in your dating life where you realize like, okay, I need to switch some things
up? Was it the type of guys you were dating?

(10:57):
Was it like you said, you know, you notice you're rushing into things? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
What was the, did you have like an aha moment? I think my biggest aha moment
was learning that chemistry and compatibility are completely different things.
So I meet a guy, they're completely different. I can be sexually attracted to

(11:18):
someone and, you know, my body's doing things and his body's doing things.
And I'm like, oh my God, this is amazing.
And I used to think that this was the connection. Oh my God,
like I've met someone and we talked all night and all these things.
Not asking about values, not asking about what you want in the future,
not figuring out how does he treat his mom? How does he show up for his friends?

(11:40):
What does he like to do? It's just like, ooh, we're attractive.
We had a great makeout. I have a boyfriend.
And then sort of taking a moment to really get to know them beyond even just
a week or two weeks, but just being stimulated by that physical part.
So really taking a pause now and being like, ooh, okay, so I am attracted to

(12:00):
you. That's just like the bare minimum. Great. Done.
Now let's talk about your values. What do you like to do? What gets you excited?
Are you excited for me? Are you going to be a cheerleader for me? Do you respect me?
What is your conflict resolution like? That is the most important question. How do you fight?
That's what I want to know. Like all these other things like that are going
on are great, but who- But can you communicate?

(12:22):
And that's at the end of it. But I wasn't thinking about any of that.
I was like, the guy's cute. He called me back and this is my boyfriend.
No but like you know what i mean that's it and here's the
thing too because like i do wonder i always
just go i virgo out with you i know like because it's
almost like you know you do notice certain things with horoscopes and

(12:43):
stuff like that so i'm always curious i don't have a lot of virgo friends but
like for me i grew up i i think we actually talked about this but my sexuality
caused me to learn how to live within myself so by doing that i had to create
this This blanket of love as a child,
this fantasy of like how to be because I wasn't dating in high school because

(13:07):
it was like I never wanted to date a girl because it was like,
I know I'm trying to hurt a girl to make my parents happy that I'm like dating somebody.
So I always kind of had that mentality for myself.
And then I noticed as I got older and it was like, OK, now I'm in the world of dating.
Dating i was always chasing after this like

(13:28):
idea of what i thought love is
and i think it's like kind of like what you said like it's like well we had this
instant spark i've never felt that before because i'm also not somebody
who and my friends have been like jesse you need to have one night stands and
i'm like oh no because yeah no i can't i not that girl and again i don't know
if it's the virgo in me or what i the idea of it is great yeah sure great no attachment i get to uh.

(13:55):
Do what I need to do. And not have to deal with this person after.
Great. But you know who you have to deal with after?
Yourself. And this. Yes. And it's like, ew, gross. So they're going to come
over my house. Now this person knows where my house is.
Right. I have to go into your house. And then we're in the new world.
Do you have cameras? Are you fainting? Exactly.
Because I could think someone is the hottest thing. Then you go over and you

(14:17):
see stains on the bathroom. Exactly.
You know what I mean? And then it's the post ejaculation. clarity at the post, not clarity.
That's the thing where you like, you did it. And then you look over and you're
like, what is going on? When your brain just all of a sudden it's clear.
And you're like, so that's what I had to learn. Cause once those moments happen,

(14:37):
right, we get physical and I take a moment to get physical, but I'm still running
off that chemical adrenaline and I'm not really listening and letting things
land of like, Ooh, that was weird that he said that this is actually not somebody
that could actually be my partner. We just have physical chemistry.
This that was my biggest moment for myself where I'm like, I need to slow down

(14:58):
and really get to know people.
And I know that sounds simple, but I think so many people.
No, but explain what your first experience was with slowing down and like how
paranoid you got, like going back and forth. Do I text them?
Do I wait to text them? This is, that's literally it.
So when I, because the thing is you can have the information,
but applying it and doing it is a whole other thing.

(15:20):
And so when when that moment comes up and the universe is like,
here, there you go. This is your test.
I'm like, Oh God, I forgot all the answers. I forgot everything,
you know? And I'm like, Dre, do not do anything.
Cause I'm a doer. And I'm like, any guy that I've ever liked has never wondered if I like them.
They're always clear. They're like, Dre likes me. The focus is like,
so pulling that energy back and just being like, let him come to me a little bit.

(15:44):
Let him be excited about me. And it's not to say like,
the man has to do everything. But like, I, my, my growth is in chilling right now.
And so if I don't hear from him all day, okay. Noted. Noted.
And it's in the list. Okay. It's in the list. But like, I'm always like,
how's your day? What's going on? Do, do, do.

(16:05):
And I said, well, let me just pull back. So it was very scary because I didn't
want the person to think I didn't like them, you know, but I had to think about
those moments when a guy really does like
me, he's interested and he's putting energy out and he's making plans and he's
doing the thing and I'm not confused.
I don't need to wonder. So I'm like, anybody that's making me feel confused,
wondering, like, you got to go.

(16:27):
And if it, even if I do have that physical stuff, I'm grown enough now to be
like, this is not sustainable.
And this is, doesn't mean we're going to be in a relationship.
Like my vagina might want to be in a relationship, but this needs to find out
if it wants to be in a relationship.
So my first time going through that, it was a little it was a little messy.
And I kind of did some things like it wasn't perfect, but I would pull back

(16:50):
very quickly. But I did. I was like, let me just see how his day's doing.
It's fine. You know, and then he'd respond and be OK. Then I'm like,
I'm only going to respond if he asked me a question. So I had to set boundaries for myself.
So what was did you notice that there was some sort of pattern or Or like,
because like for me, I feel like through the years and therapy,

(17:10):
now it's more like in the first initial kind of conversations,
I can kind of get the hint.
Because also you do a lot of hosting, right? So it's like, I know my biggest
thing has always been as a host or, you know, interviewing people.
It's like, how many people want to be interviewed?
And it's like, I know how to talk about myself. Like, are you going to ask me

(17:34):
anything about? And that was a big thing I had to learn was like, right.
Am I giving information or are you asking for the information?
You know, I'm not going to ask for the information anymore. We can sit here
and interview you. I mean, that's fine. That's fine.
But have you was that a problem with you specifically that you.
Yeah. Like learning that I want to get to know somebody, but I'm like,
are they trying to get to know me? I've gone on dates where people didn't ask me.

(17:58):
And then I had to ask myself, too. I'm like, okay, I know I'm very hosty, interviewee.
So I'm like, let me chill and not say anything. And if this person asks me anything.
And to me, it would seem natural to be like, how many brothers and sisters do
you have? And then, oh, well, how many do you have?
This mug was just like, so anyway, when I was six, my dad. And I was like, oh, okay.

(18:18):
And then at the end of the day, he was like, I had the best time ever.
I'm like, you had a whole fucking monologue.
Like, what do you mean? I wasn't even here. You just talked about your whole,
you should pay me for therapy.
And my Sephora bill because we're never hanging out again for my makeup.
But I did realize I say things at times and I will give information when you
do ask me one question because I am a host.

(18:39):
So you ask me one thing and I'm going to just go off.
Right. Because that's the thing is like you're trained to talk to people.
We know how to talk to people. We know how to go deeper than a surface level conversation.
Yeah. And you realize how many people do not have that range.
They do not. And it's a larger scale than you would think. And I've had to learn

(19:02):
how to tone myself back as far as like, so what's the weather like in Texas?
Like, or whatever the conversation is about versus like, so like,
is there a car? You know what I mean?

(19:28):
Make me pay for the date. One, that's an ick.
If you ask me out and then you look in when the check comes or even if you do
pay for the date and then you looking at me to see like you need me to do the fake purse grab.
Like if you need me to do that because I've had guys do that.
Like the bill comes, they're like,
And I'm like, what are you looking at? Okay. Now I have heard,
and this is real dumb, but it's like, I've heard this argument of like,

(19:51):
well, feminism and like, you know, girls want to be equal. And it's like. I didn't. Who said that?
Who said that? Oh, I was just saying, like, I know that that's a conversation. That is a conversation.
That men are out here using right now. They are yelling it loudly right now.
They're like, girl, get your card out. Let's split this bill.
Because you said, I'm like, oh, no, no, baby doll. I didn't say that.

(20:13):
No no i didn't say it i didn't say it i'm all for girl power but
i'm all for it but i call myself a medicinal woman
it's a modern and traditional i know it sounds funny
but it's like i will do things for you be the domesticated woman all the things
just don't come in the house talking about like you better do it don't don't
come at me like that okay because i've worked very hard and i'm super independent

(20:34):
but i don't want to do it all by myself like i'm not trying to do that so like
Like relationship-wise,
like, you know, we live in the day of the city girls.
We do. What is your, like, what's your goal? Like, do you want to be a stay-at-home mom?
Do you want to have your own career? He has his career. Yeah.
We're just like taking Beyonce and Jay-Z. Right. Like, what's your, like.

(20:54):
Ideally, yeah, I'm trying to be the boss and he's the boss and we're doing the
thing. I'm never going to be one of those women that doesn't work. Even if my man is like.
You don't want to be a kept woman. I mean, I'm not saying I'm not trying to
be kept. Well, like. I don't mind.
Yeah, but you still want to be able to keep on doing it. I'm going to keep on doing me.
But I would love it if it's like, yo, do what you got to do.
Work, don't work. I don't really care. You do you. But we're good.
Like, that would be nice, right? But I just, my personality,

(21:18):
I'm not going to sit at home and, you know, be in the kitchen.
And there's nothing wrong with that.
There are plenty of people who like that. I'm not saying I wouldn't be in the
kitchen. I'm not just going to just be in the kitchen.
Your energy can't sit you. I can't. I can't. He's like, sit at home.
I'm like, I got to go do something, you know?
Okay, you're talking to a guy online, making that decision of like, all right.

(21:41):
I'm going to go on the date, but also like there are many times where you're
like, okay, the conversation has been good, but yeah, we're not going on a date.
I think. Hmm. Like, how do you navigate that?
I will be completely honest. There was a space where I was just open.
I was like, I'm going to go out because like you said earlier,
we're judging people based on pictures. So like, let me go outside of my comfort zone.

(22:04):
Let me tell you, I went outside my comfort zone a couple of times.
I'm like, I'm running the fuck back.
Okay. My mom was like, you got to be open. I said, okay, I'll be open.
Then I think I went too open. And slammed that door shut. Slammed it real shut.
I got in the car. I was like, never again.
Never again. What was one experience that horrified you that you was like, oh, hell no.

(22:26):
Well, he was overweight.
Okay. He was a bigger guy. Than what he showed you?
Yes. But he was already bigger on the photos. Okay. But he was so nice.
He was really nice. I was like, you know what? Let me give him a little try.
He's missing his hair. I was like, it's okay. I'm going to try. You know, exactly.
I'm going to go outside my comfort zone. And then he showed up about with a

(22:48):
couple 40 extra LBs. And I was like, what?
Where were these pictures from? And I just couldn't even do it.
He knew. He showed up and I was like, oh, yeah.
So we got like an appetizer. And he's like, do you want to go?
And I was like, I want to go.
I do. I felt bad. But I was like, buddy, like, it's not fair.
Yeah no and honestly I love that because that was one of the questions I was gonna ask like.

(23:13):
Sometimes I feel like people lead people on yes because it's like well I don't
wanna be mean or I don't wanna this and it's like,
it's better to be right up front versus leaving it in a question mark because
some people get it and some people do not get it right and it's like I've exactly
the same way like it's like well look I know we said we was gonna do dinner
and a movie no we gonna end after this yeah and like you're great,

(23:37):
But you're great for somebody else. What's that?
SpongeBob? I'm going to head up out of here. I'm going to head up.
But I will say I have been the question mark girl because I didn't want to hurt
people's feelings. And I was in this people-pleasing stage. Oh, same.
I've definitely left. Hold on relationship. Same. Situation.
Same. Let's connect next week. And then I get bored. And I'm like,
sure, let's just go to coffee.

(23:58):
And this one guy, he was just talking like we were already in this relationship.
And I was like, damn, what am I going to do? I do not want anything to do with
this guy. We never had sex anything.
He's talking about the future. and all this stuff. So, you know,
I had to learn to send these texts and learn that everybody's going to be okay.
My therapist was like, Dre, you don't have that much power. People are going to be fine.
So I sent the text and he was like, great, thanks for letting me know. And I was like,

(24:21):
Oh, okay. That's totally fine. So that's interesting. With your therapist,
like, what do you feel like that stems from that?
You know, you know who you are as a woman. You're a strong woman.
So it's like, where does that fear of, I don't want to hurt the guy.
So I'm going to like almost allow myself to get walked over.

(24:42):
Like, have you ever thought about where that stems from? Yeah,
it's definitely childhood stuff.
I think trying to manage everything, make sure everybody's okay. I'm the oldest child.
My parents had me young. So I think there's something in there of wanting to,
because it was a bit chaotic in my childhood.
So how do I keep everything calm? How do I make sure everybody's okay?

(25:03):
Which has led definitely to people pleasing and just wanting to not hurt anyone's
feelings and make sure everybody's okay at the expense of me.
And I've done that for so long and standing up for Drea and really trying to
help Drea has been like this newer thing in my life, to be honest,
because all these things I was, or I still am, or have been looking for in a relationship,

(25:26):
you know, this guy said to me, he was like, do you do those things for yourself?
And I was like, Ooh, this guy, like a guy you were talking to?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, relationship expert guy told this to me, Drew, Drew, actually. Yeah.
When I met Drew and I was like, dang, that's such great advice.
Cause he's like everything you want to give out and everything thing you're
doing for people you got to start doing that stuff for yourself and I was like

(25:49):
yeah yeah that's that's that's good that's good what's your go-to convo online or on a first date.
I mean, I do the basic stuff. Where are you from? But I think doing the podcast
opens up so many doors in terms of talking to them directly about how they are in a relationship.
And one of the things I always ask dates are, what is your butt?

(26:12):
So if you put all your ex-boyfriends in a room, they'd be like, Jesse is so great, but.
And if there's anything consistent that you hear, because it's a self-awareness
question. And so if guys go, I don't really know what my butt is.
Like, I mean, I don't really know what they would say.
I'm like, because I know for me the things that men have said to me over time
where I had to be like, damn, this is like the third guy saying this to me. What's your butt?

(26:33):
Well, it used to be I was a little needy. I'm emotionally needy. Or that I need to relax.
They're like, Dre, you need to relax. And my need to be right.
Yeah, I get that one. Yeah. I also get that my butt would be I'm blunt.
Blunt like i'm very like almost which
is crazy because i'm the empathetic one

(26:54):
in the relationship right and they've all known that but
it's always like it's the way you say something things
that's like because you know it's probably right like right and that's what
i do i'm like but it's correct and it's i think it comes stems from a place
of like over and like i can rip myself apart i can analyze myself and i'm constantly
chipping at it chipping so that's why it's It's going to take a special somebody to be like,

(27:19):
look, because I want to receive it as well.
Yeah. Please tell me what is wrong. How I can be better.
Help me be better. Yeah. And vice versa. Yeah.
And that's why I feel like Taurus is we work out very well with Taurus.
Friendship. It's so true.
I've never dated a Taurus. I've dated a Taurus. It's my two longest relationships.
Because I really realized for me, I'm so spazzy, high energy.

(27:43):
I really need a person who's like, babe, let's just take a breath.
Everything's fine. Like we can, you know, you can do this later.
And I'm like, okay, okay.
Like, if I have another person that's matching my energy, like,
we're going to just, like, explode together. Yeah.
So did you, you said you're growing up, it was a little chaotic.
Like, did you grow up with two parents or?

(28:04):
My parents divorced when I was seven. So they were basically together up until
then. There was, like, a little bit of back and forth.
But, I mean, I kind of didn't really know what was going on.
Because they were, like, my mom was 18.
My dad was 18. So it's, like, they grew up with me, you know.
So I think you don't really know what you're doing at that age.
You're not learning. You don't know how to communicate.

(28:25):
You don't know how to articulate your feelings to another person.
And you have a child. And then you have another child in the way. It's a lot.
And then how did you kind of deal with them dating new people?
And did that ever affect your dating?
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, first of all, my dad was not around for most of my

(28:45):
younger life. And I mean, we have a good relationship now, but there were definitely
some difficult moments.
And I've talked about that before. But yeah, dating new people,
you know, again, my parents being so young, 20s, dating, dating,
you know, not the greatest people all the time.
And I think I definitely have emulated some of those choices that they made.
And I don't want to blame them anymore, because like, I'm a grown woman.

(29:08):
But you know, it's seed planting.
And I think a lot of parents don't always realize, like, we're taking in everything that you're doing.
And when they're coming at me about my dating choices, I used to just be like,
well, this is your fault.
This is your fault, dad, because I have abandonment issues and you left and da-da-da-da-da.
And now I take responsibility for that. But it's still hard because dating those

(29:28):
unavailable men, which is what I talk about a lot on my podcast,
like the energy is familiar.
It's not right or okay, but it makes sense.
And these beliefs. So it's almost like why you feel or at one point felt comfortable
in that. Yes. And look, to be honest with you, it's still something that I struggle
with because like when someone sits down and they're like, Drea, I am here for you.

(29:52):
I love you. I am showing up for you. I'm like, I gotta go.
You're like, yeah, I gotta call an Uber. I can't do this. Or my brain goes, why?
What? You know what I mean? And it's so crazy because I'm still learning to love myself.
And I've gotten so much better. And I look at myself in the mirror now and I'm like, okay, queen.
But it's still like a work in progress so

(30:14):
different men are showing up in my life now
like way different than they used to because you
you know you mirror what you are and that was such a hard thing for me to accept
because I was like am I unavailable I mean I must be because I'm attracting
these men who are like I don't want a relationship but we could hang out and
I'm like oh okay but I had to realize I wasn't available for myself and I wasn't

(30:39):
really ready because to To be in a relationship,
if you are in a real healthy relationship with someone that's willing to go
through the things with you, it can be scary.
You're both taking a risk to say, hey, we're going to do life together.
That is not for everybody. Everybody thinks they're ready for that.
Well, that's, you know, it's so funny too, because I feel like.

(30:59):
People would be like, oh, because I always ask the question about the parent
because I think it's so interesting that my parents, I think this is actually
we're going into their 50th anniversary.
Oh, my. Yes. So my example was them.
Like we had one divorce in our whole family. Are you serious? It was like a big thing.

(31:19):
Oh, Greeks, the Greeks don't. Oh, right. Of course. So it was like a big thing
that like my aunt divorced my uncle.
Yeah. It was, you know, unheard of. So, but growing up, so I had this idea of
what love was on top of like you're watching Disney movies. All the things.
Yeah. It's like, well, you always get to the happily ever after.
It's like, well, what happens after they finally are like, okay,

(31:41):
we're going to do it. And then it's just like, we're done showing you that. Where's the part two?
And you're like, well, nobody lives in that bliss, you know?
And I see the work that my parents put into a relationship.
And then you go out into the world and you're like, oh, everyone's like this. And you realize.
No. No. No, most people are actually dating because they are trying to fill
something within themselves.

(32:01):
And the thing with, I look at like my parents, they were two whole people who
were like, okay, we get what life is for us, for them.
And they're both agreed like, hey, life is about let's start a family and we're
going to give everything to that family.
So their beliefs were the same. They had the same beliefs.
See the values and the beliefs. So it's like even if they still have their romance,

(32:25):
but it the thing that trumps and pushes now is the family unit that they've created. Right.
And it's like we it's really so me as a gay man trying to apply that in life. It's like.
Baby, they ain't on Grindr or Adam's Apple. No. Trying to really like connect.
No. It looks like a demon on purpose. The app looks like a demon on purpose.

(32:49):
But that's what I'm saying.
Because it's like if you once you take all that away,
the butterflies, the shininess, and when you're left with the character of a
person, I think our generation does not realize after a certain age what is so important.
We get so caught up in like getting the vagina tingles and like doing the thing and whatever.

(33:12):
And then like. How much was the bracelet he got me? How much was this? Exactly.
Versus like, who is this person that I'm saying I'm going to spend my life with?
Like once all. And how do they treat me when they don't like me?
When they're having a bad day, when they're angry, like that is where your relationship is.
And I really think that in our time now, people really

(33:32):
need to take a moment and think about the bigger picture of a relationship versus
like what can we post on instagram this where he took me for this fancy meal
but it's like what does this man believe what are his values do you even know
right are you is this relationship driven by sex i saw this quote yeah like been there.

(33:52):
Same and i called it love okay i saw this post and it was like everyone can
have a good time with someone marry the one you can have a bad time with oh
and i was like you got i just gave Give me goosebumps.
Oh, I'll send it to you. I was on Instagram. I saved it. I love it. That's so true. Damn.
It's those bad moments that like, how are we going to get through this?
How are we going to figure this out together?

(34:14):
Because it's like, if I'm going through a bad moment, I'm going to figure it out on myself.
You know how we are. You know what I'm saying? So it's like,
if you're not adding to this, like, I don't need extra weight.
No. At this point. You know? Yeah.
Compromising in a relationship. How have you...
In this newfound Drea, what are compromises that you have kind of said to yourself,

(34:37):
like, OK, this is something I am willing to, you know, give up or move around
or I'm willing to accept from somebody else?
What's that journey of compromising? The compromise journey for me is still
a work in progress because I'm in this stage right now where I do I'm ready
to be in a relationship. relationship, right?

(34:58):
But again, it is scary because I have a life for myself where I have pillars
that are so important to me.
And when you bring another person in, especially in the beginning,
you know, you kind of like things that are important to you kind of go on the
back burner. I'm like, podcast? What podcast?
I gotta go. My man is here. You know, I'm like, career? What career? I'm having a baby.
But I think as far as like my career and what I want to do, I'm not willing to compromise on that.

(35:26):
Like I'm a creative and that's one of my pillars.
I have to be creative or I get really depressed.
Like working out, got to work out. And I need a good community around me.
Those are really important things to me. So I need someone that understands that.
Now, I'm still figuring this out, but like the coinage that a man comes with,
like does he have children?

(35:47):
Does his mom live with him? You know, like all these different things.
I'm like, Like, are these things I'm willing to like work with? The baby mama drama.
Because, you know, I'm of a particular age where men are going to have kids and that's fine.
But for love, I will do anything. I mean, at the end of the day,
once my heart is open, okay, and I'm there for you.

(36:08):
Like usually in relationships, I'm doing all the compromising.
It's always me compromising. Okay. Yeah. I'll go there. Okay.
Yeah. I'll do it. Yeah. Yeah. I don't got to go to work. I'll pick you up.
Anywhere. You want to use my car?
I'll drive. You put gas in it? That's okay. It's okay. I'll put the gas in it.
No, no, no. You don't worry. Don't do anything.
And so now I'm like, no, you're not. What do you, use your own car.
Like what is happening? I don't want anybody that needs to use my car.

(36:30):
Like that's a person that doesn't even come to me. So now I feel more alive
and in faith of who I am and secure in that.
So if a person comes in, I have my values and what I believe.
And then there's a couple of things where I'm like, because no one's going to
check everything on your list.
They're just not. Yeah. So it's like maybe there's a crazy baby mama,
but he's like, Drea, I got this. You don't worry about it.

(36:52):
And I'm like, OK, because I was like, OK, I know I'm sorry.
We grown now. We grown. OK, but for my man. But I think it's so important that.
I am careful with who I open my heart to. And that has been the biggest lesson
because this thing was open for anybody and everybody.
You hold my hand. I'm like, I love you. He's like, what? I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. No. Okay.

(37:13):
You know? So now I'm like, if I'm going to open this door to you,
I need to know what is going on. And it's not a perfect thing.
Like, you're never going to really know until you know. You got to go through
some stuff with people, right?
Like those bad times. But having a good base of who a person is in the beginning
is so important, I think.
Yeah. And I think, too, it's like my biggest thing was like trusting people.

(37:38):
I my parents very I always say Greek immigrant mindset. Like they grew up.
My whole family grew up living around each other.
Like I grew up. It would be my grandmother's house, my uncle's house next door, my aunt's house.
Like it was just like, yeah, family all the time. And so you have this like

(37:59):
almost like a false sense of community because if you're raised in that and
you assume like, oh, this is what it's like, like, right.
And then you go out into the real world.
Los Angeles. Mine was New York at first. Oh, OK.
But still East Coast. And I appreciate the East Coast because I feel like it
is more up front in feeling the vibe.

(38:22):
Yes. But I am a very trust. I was going into life saying, yeah,
whatever your story is, like, okay, I believe you because I'm telling you my story.
Right. And then you start realizing like, okay, then you're in a whole relationship with someone.
A whole relationship. Two years later, you learn who this person actually is.

(38:43):
And it's like, well, what the hell were you doing for the first time? Yeah.
Yeah. And it's almost like then now I've learned, I feel like my mindset is
more like, I don't know if I can just jump into like the open dating and like
checking guys off and like all that. Like, it's like, I need to know you for a moment of time.
A moment. Like, I need to know what you're like as a friend.

(39:04):
I want to know what you're like to your friends. Yeah. I want to know like if
time goes by, like, do you still, are you thinking about me after a while?
Are you on to the next? because you really like I
did it to guys and it was literally I feel like look if
you don't learn the first message university oh okay
so I got some for you and this one gonna come along yes

(39:26):
for real and it was that it was that first
year was great and then that second year was like what the hell are you on medication
or what so really learning to build trust with and I think that's also with
trusting yourself and learning that discernment and catching like because like
Like on your show, we did the red flags. Yeah.

(39:46):
Those little red flags, you know, and seeing like, am I really sweeping stuff
under the rug? Yep. Or am I not?
Am I with the rose colored glasses just thinking like, okay.
And you feel it too. Like you get little buzzes. And something else that I'm
really cognizant of now is that, especially as I get older, people know how to manipulate.

(40:07):
So they can sit there and be like, I'm listening to you. Oh my God,
I care about everything you're saying. And just want what they want.
Everybody can put it on for a little bit of time. And then the math starts coming
off when they're like tired and all those things that were so cute and funny.
Because I know I'm a spaz and I need a man with some patience.
And so all the things like, oh, wow, she's really forgetful.
Oh wow she's late again i'm like and then the real person starts coming out

(40:31):
you know so being aware of like yeah he can be nice to you for three weeks drea
that doesn't mean anything or a month even but over time you have to really
give it that space to learn can i trust them.
Okay can i trust can i trust him
oh i love that because how did

(40:51):
you learn to trust yourself like as far as
like let's just take dating out of it just with people like is
this something like not only in dating that friendships you noticed
or maybe even family relationships like is that just like kind of a theme that
you had to work through or do you have better discernment with friendships i
know some people that like they have great friendships but every man they'd

(41:12):
be picking yeah it's like no unfortunately it's crossed over into everything
for me like i've I've had some really strange friendships.
I've had friendships where I've asked myself, are you okay, Drea?
I had to step outside. Are you well? Like, why are you friends with this person?
Or I get in the car and I'm completely depleted.
So I've learned with my friendships that if I'm talking with you and I'm in

(41:33):
my head the whole time having to censor myself and not say this and say that,
I'm like, this is not my person.
And we live in LA and look, you're going to have acquaintances.
That word friend I've learned is so different. Just because I work with someone
does not mean that they're my friend.
Just because I see you every, because your brain starts to think like,

(41:54):
and just like with dating, oh, we spent time together for a week every single
day. It's like, that's a work friend.
That's a work friend. I had to change a girl's name on my phone once to a work
friend. So I wouldn't forget. I was like, this is not my friend.
No. Yeah. And it's like, even till like for me, I've had to take responsibility
in that too, because Because it's like, okay, why am I getting so,

(42:14):
why do I feel some sort of way?
I don't want to feel no type of way about this because it's like,
yeah, we saw each other every day because we were working with each other.
We're working. And I still can support you.
Yes. You know what I mean? But it's like I had to, yeah, build.
I have this thing with my therapist I came up with called my spice rack.
And it's like learning how to place people on different shelves.

(42:36):
It's like, you know what I mean? You have your spices that you use all the time.
Right. Those go on your first shelf.
Yeah. And then you have certain friends or people that maybe you only go out
with and have party with or go to concerts with.
Those go on the second shelf. And then that third shelf is like a, hey. Hey.
Yeah. My girlfriend told me about tier systems.

(42:58):
So it's basically the same thing. She goes, Dre, when you talk to people,
you have to know what tier this person goes in because I am an overshare.
I will tell you everything.
You start telling me. You know what? Because I love to talk. because I sometimes
I get off my own podcast and I'm like what did I need to say all that I don't
know why I said all that well whatever it's going out now you know
what I mean it is what it is but I definitely have to watch and just because

(43:21):
somebody's telling me all their stuff does not mean I have to tell them all
my stuff no okay but let me ask you as a Virgo I don't are you someone who I
feel like like we were talking about the guru thing yeah I tend to notice with myself,
if someone's like going through something or you know.

(43:41):
Instead of me giving them advice, I almost share a story of myself because it's
like, I don't know how to give you an answer, but here's what happened to me.
And I don't want to speak on something I don't really know, but I know myself.
So, yes, that always happens.
I'm like, oh, my God. So this guy that I dated 20 years ago, whatever it is.
And then but I but I expose so much and I don't know these people. Yeah.

(44:05):
And they don't need to know even on dates, too.
You know, definitely overshared about exes and they start talking about their ex.
And then I talk about my ex and I'm like, I don't think that's a great connection point.
OK, so like but when do you start talking about exes? Like, I mean, I haven't worked.
I haven't learned that one yet. I still do it. I still do it. I do it on the first date.
I'm like, yes, my ex seems like really crazy. And I'm sorry, what did you say?

(44:29):
You know, I haven't learned that one yet. No, me either. Honestly, I do it.
I still do it. I feel like it was such a big for me, like, and we talked about
on your podcast, like a big thing in my life that affected my life in such a
way. Yeah, that's a tough one.
Look, I need you to know where I am.
Like, yeah, I think that's a different type of situation.

(44:52):
I think that one has to be talked about. And I think there's nothing wrong with like a bullet points.
No, but I think it's okay to leave like a bullet point. of what's going on or
like, hey, there are some things, you can talk generally.
That's what I need to work on. So like, use the example like with like,
you're on a date and a guy.
Has a baby mama a kid when do you

(45:12):
feel when would you say is appropriate for him to share
that or if he didn't tell you the first date uh-uh you
better tell me the first day i want to know before i meet you listen i
got a process with online online dating okay online
dating we're chatting i like to get to a phone
call very quickly i don't want to message somebody i do
i do you know what i mean because you'd be giving

(45:33):
your number out oh my god okay i could block him who cares oh my
thank you what is happening if i give him my phone number the way
that number will get switched if i like if you are crazy exactly
it's fine here's my number so we'll exchange a
little bit i'll see the vibe give you my number let's
hear how that voice sounds let's hear how that voice sounds okay
because you got a weird voice goodbye and then we move on

(45:54):
to a facetime and then i'm like as soon as we like oh no
oh yes you know what i mean that's my
process and then we'll go on a date okay so
i want to play something for you okay
and then we're gonna play a game but i want to play this because i scrolled
past this today and i was like oh my god the way i need to have dre hear this

(46:19):
oh god um and i just want to know your thoughts like is there something where
at one point you were maybe this crazy or let's not say crazy but just passionate
it's crazy this is crazy All right.
Ready? So this is I found this on TikTok.
Her name is Brinique Reed. She found she found this. OK, so here we go.
Y'all need to listen to this. This is some crazy shit.

(46:40):
I saw this really cute guy at the grocery store the other day.
So naturally, I followed him to the checkout counter.
And when he gave the cashier his credit card, I peeped it to see what his name was.
And then I Googled him and found his social media profiles.
And I was able to tell that he was single. so I went through his friends list
and I found his mother's page.

(47:00):
Okay, so wait. Before we continue this story, right there, okay?
Okay. Are we still on the rollercoaster with her? Like, she...
So you know i'm nosy so yeah okay yeah you look
at a card you see a name yeah i'm okay with
that you're attracted to this guy right so would you
have said something to him would you have tried to spark your conversation or

(47:21):
in real time yeah yeah i'm i'm i'm forward like if i catch one eye glance i'm
like hi i am a four word i don't care i'm like what are you hi how are you okay
but if not i mean she's already lost me at the mom's instagram wait before we even get to the mom OK,
so so but you're not lost at the fact that she saw the name and then.
No, I would do that. Same. OK, I would absolutely do that. All right.

(47:44):
And now the story going to go. And then I look through his mother's page and
I saw that she was a member of this book club that's in my area.
So I sent a request to join the book club. So I went to the book club meeting
and I met his mom there and we bonded over some books that we both liked.
And she just thought I was so nice.
And I brought it up randomly in conversation that I was single.

(48:04):
And she let me know that she had a son that was single also that lived in the area.
And maybe it would be cool for us to get together and chat sometime.
So I gave her my number, which she gave to her son. And this morning he texted
me and asked if I'd like to get together this weekend and do something.
So I guess we're going to go on a date. I'm really excited.
She shared this on TikTok? Okay, go ahead. Just what are your thoughts?

(48:28):
Where does your mind go with this story? story like now
I am all about doing something for love because there
was a guy actually like three weeks ago
that we crossed paths on Hollywood Boulevard I
was I went to go and I was like he was on the phone and I
was like dang that guy's cute and he smiled and I was like so this old Drea
would have been like I gotta go talk to him I gotta get figured out but I'm

(48:51):
waiting for men to come to me I'm chilling stepping back but he just kept walking
so I was like okay but I did do a bunch of turnarounds and then once I got back
in my car I was like should I start with a block and see if he's still around.
But I didn't. But I didn't.
But this, this is a lot. I'm all about doing stuff for love,
but the book club thing, I don't, I would not do that. Yeah, like I feel like.
That's where I get off. Because it's like, at what point, like,

(49:13):
do you not see the red flag of like.
One you put this on social media so if he ever comes across and sees that it's like.
There's almost like a little level of not a little level there's
a level of distrust because it's like you did all this
and wasn't up front with me now if she goes on the date and explains that and
explains it but even still it plants a seed of like oh okay but are you gonna

(49:38):
create this in our relationship like if i'm like oh i'm working 10 minutes later
like are you gonna believe that So it's just going to turn into like, well,
I went into his work, his boss's website,
and I noticed that they closed at four o'clock.
And I was like, he said he was going to be home at five and they closed at four.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where it leads. Yeah. This is some behavior.

(49:58):
Like there's levels to passion. Crazy. This is kind of a 10. This is a 10.
I've lived at a nine. I've lived there. I've lived there. Done some crazy stuff
for sure. But that's nuts.
I would not contact someone's mom. I would only keep the contact with them.
Like I would maybe like a couple photos on Instagram.
Of his. Of his. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. And keep it with him.

(50:18):
I'm not going to go try to meet his mom.
Like that's kooky. That's next level. Dang, she posted it. What a deep dog. Who does that?
Good. I mean. I wouldn't be surprised if she's from LA.
Yeah, probably. Okay. So to wrap it up, I want to play a game. Okay.
We're going to play Dating Edition, Two Truths, One Life. So I'm going to have

(50:41):
you think of two truths and a lie, and I'm going to try to guess.
And then I'm going to give you two truths and a lie and see if you can guess. Okay.
So I dated someone on a reality show and we had a relationship.
Okay. I had two brothers ask me out in the same week. Okay.

(51:04):
And I went over to someone's house for a date and he showed up naked.
When I opened, when he opened the door, he was naked.
Okay i feel like,
those are good because i could see you do all of them,
i feel like the naked one is the lie dang it you got it that's the lie okay that is the lie,

(51:31):
so two brothers yeah asked me out in the same week they both asked you out like
were they on different websites like um it was in in real life oh yeah yeah
it's in the poker industry,
yeah yeah yeah two brothers and i was like do you guys not know that okay well
i already said yes to that one well i can't say yes to you okay so yeah no no

(51:54):
no i didn't i didn't i didn't go out i was just like hey just so you know so
and so has already asked me out so he was like oh come on i I was like, sorry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right.
So my two truths and one lie.
Yeah, it's one of yours. So my ex trashed a Miami hotel room.

(52:19):
Okay. On a date we were on. I...
Was another one would be I went on a I was taken on a date to McDonald's.
Oh, sick girl walking out.
OK, well, do you have any places that you would like?
I mean, obviously, McDonald's is like I'm sorry, no shade McDonald's,

(52:41):
but like the Olive Garden.
Like, you know how girls like, oh, I'm not going to the Cheesecake Factory.
Right. If someone took you to the Cheesecake Factory, would you?
I think it's a location thing because if I'm home in Texas and someone takes
me to these kinds of places, it's not the same thing as being here in L.A.
And I don't want to sound all bougie because I'm bougie adjacent.
But it's like if you do that stuff here, it's different. It's a different vibe. OK. You know, it is.

(53:08):
All right. So back to the game. So my ex trashed a Miami hotel room. OK.
I was taken out on a date to McDonald's. Sick.
And I also dated a reality star.
McDonald's is the lie. No. The hotel. No. You dated a reality star.
I've never dated a reality star. Oh, I just assumed you did.

(53:29):
I thought you were. Okay. I was like, for sure you dated one.
Oh, I thought you did. It's too close to home. I know, but we're in the industry,
so I assumed at some point you would have.
Oh, I actually, my ex did do that. Trash to Miami. Wait, pause.
Yeah. Somebody took you to McDonald's? And then, yeah. I'm sick.

(53:50):
So, okay, here's my thing.
Remember on your podcast, and you guys got to go check it out.
Yay! That's a great conversation.
But I had said to you, I feel like I've never been in love.
Yes. Where obviously in the past, in the situations, I thought I was in love.
But then you grow up and you realize, oh, actually, I don't think I've ever been in love.
And my reasoning is, I've never been given what I give. Okay, yeah.

(54:15):
You can love someone. yeah i've loved every ex of
mine i've loved them okay but to be in love with
someone it has to have reciprocity yeah
and giving back and forth so this
man we were actually kind of like i
said like i want to see your friendship first yeah yeah we built this
friendship this was in new york one of the first guys i talked to we built this

(54:37):
friendship all this stuff and he was like wanted to take it further and was
like oh like we should go out sometime i'm like oh okay i mean this man was
fine panamanian see i was about to say i know he had to be so fine i mean yeah.
I mean it would have never worked because his piece was way too big.

(55:04):
Yes oh i like my body part yes so he was like all right well i'm gonna pick
you up pick me up Wait, he picked you up?
Girl, he picked me up. I'm thinking he didn't pick you up. Mind you, he was older than me too.
Okay he was older than me and he we drove to mcdonald's through the drive no
through the drive no jesse come on i feel like you're fucking with me no i'm

(55:28):
so serious and we sat in the park and listened to 90s music and ate mcdonald's and then he dropped me,
jesse what are you talking about and i was just like now that i'm older i'm
like Like, maybe he was expecting, like, I don't know, like, to hook up in the car.
I'm also just like. Thank you. Well, yeah, I'm trying to make it make sense.

(55:50):
Like, one, we definitely not fucking. Like, you got me eating McDonald's,
one. Number one. Two, I'm not fucking you.
Three, like, we're in the parking lot of McDonald's. Wow.
So, like, did he want something of it? Was this just a genuine,
like. And he dropped you off after? Well, like, we sat for hours.
Okay, fine. Listening to music and relating. And then, yeah,

(56:10):
he was like. I'm so confused by this.
This will never leave my brain. No, McDonald's. It will never leave my brain.
I'm loving it. I'm not loving it. Are we not loving it? Okay, per. Oh, per.
Okay, well, I appreciate you coming by and sharing your love life, your family life.
Thank you. Because, you know, sometimes we just got to hear the stories of other

(56:34):
people to know that we are not alone.
And again, going back to your catchphrase, like, you're not alone.
Yeah. What are you up to now? Like, I know you got the podcast going.
Is there anything else that you want to share or where people can follow you
and find you? Yeah, you can find me on TheDreaRenee on Instagram.
And the podcast is everything. That's basically my boyfriend.
Hey, babe, can we talk? Please go follow.

(56:56):
Yeah. And it's just conversations about relationships, how to stay out of toxic
relationships and build back up your self-worth.
And I love it. It's my baby. I love it. It is so my baby. Yeah. And I'm so proud of you.
Thank you. just like again you've just always connected instantly the moment
I met you period and yeah your podcast is everything thank you I love your energy and I love that you're,

(57:20):
Using your life experiences to help others and creating a platform for that
and also helping yourself along the way. Okay.
And with no shame. That's the biggest thing because I care so much at times
or I've cared, I should say, what people think.
Like with every post, like, oh, what are they going to think? And I'm like, who cares?
It's my art. It makes me feel good. And that's all that matters.

(57:40):
Period. Period. Boom. So until next week, peace. Bye.
Music.
In the age of online dating, it's easy to get lost in the quest for external validation.
Swiping left and right, hoping to find someone who fills the void.

(58:04):
But before I can truly open my heart to another, I gotta learn to love myself.
Each morning I wake with gratitude, embracing my flaws and celebrating my strengths.
I look in the mirror and affirm I am worthy of love, deserving of happiness,

(58:28):
and capable of giving and receiving affection.
I acknowledge that self-love is not a destination but a journey.
A daily practice of nurturing my mind, body, and soul I prioritize self-care,
setting boundaries, and honoring my needs,

(58:51):
Knowing that only when my cup is full can I pour into another's I release the
pressure to conform to society's standards of beauty or success,
Recognizing that my worth is inherent, not dependent on an external validation validation.
I embrace my uniqueness, knowing that it's my authenticity that will attract the right partner.

(59:17):
In the vast sea of online profiles and connections, I remain anchored in my sense of self.
I approach each interaction with curiosity and openness, knowing that every
encounter is an opportunity for growth and connection.
I let go of fear and insecurity, trusting in the universe's timing and believing

(59:41):
that love will find me when I'm truly ready.
I cultivate patience and resilience, knowing that the right person will appreciate
me for who I am, flaws and all.
So today I choose to love myself unapologetically. I trust in the power of self-love

(01:00:03):
to light my path, guiding me toward a love that is deep, meaningful, and lasting.
And I know you can too.
Music.