April 7, 2024 • 57 mins
In the third episode of NEXTMOODSWING, Host Jesse Janedy diveis into the world of Randy Morales also known as Creative Vice, a former military serviceman turned artist and hear his inspiring journey of self-discovery during the Covid-19 lockdown. This episode is a revealing account of his life, from his upbringing in Washington and his military service, to the struggles and success he encountered in modeling and acting. Learn how a broken TV during lockdown led him to uncover his profound passion for painting, transforming his perspective of the pandemic into a fertile period for personal growth and creativity.
Get an inside look into Morales' move to LA and the obstacles he faced in the modeling industry as he sought to establish himself in the city of dreams. Listen as he reflects upon his mother's influence in his life, attributing his determination and motivation to her. The episode concludes with his perception of personal power as a creative and the invaluable lessons he gleaned from his experiences in LA. Engage with Morales' story, an affirmation of his resilience and grit in carving a path for himself in the creative industry, and get inspired to navigate your own artistic journey.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Randy morales yes creative
vice yes yo first and foremost thank
you for coming yo thank you it's an honor i'm an author we're
gonna like kick out each other because like i came
across your stuff and we briefly talked about this but i came across
your stuff and i just saw your art and then
i saw a video of you at first i found your art and
(00:21):
i was like i saw your art and i was like what are these creatures what
is this what who created this and i think i
literally just this friend of you instantly and just wrote to you i love your
magic and i was just like i feel like he's gonna get
what i mean when i say that and your response was epic
and i was just like i need you on the cast yeah no it was very
quick and easy i was like as soon as i saw i was like yeah i'm bad i'm scared you
said magic i'm like i like magic it's like the world is magic sometimes most
(00:45):
of the time it is but you know it's like yeah why not what i do want to know
is is what was your childhood like like where did you grow up what type of what
was your household like Like two parents, one parent, what was?
So I grew up in Washington state.
Interesting enough, it's definitely a different life than living in LA.
I grew up with three sisters. I like the middle-ish.
(01:09):
I grew up with my mom and dad, my stepdad, but he was like my real dad since the childbirth.
Okay. But yeah, we grew up in Washington and man, I was so naive as a child.
I thought the world was just beautiful and perfect. like I
really thought that everybody just cared
and loved for each other and even like when 9-11 happened I
was like I was just a random incident you know everybody still
(01:31):
loves each other and yeah I just grew up
with this idea that the world was perfect and I think that has
helped me because I still want to have the world to
be perfect so that creates me trying to be nice to others and
also helps me me and my art because now
I'm just like very focused on trying to make the world a better place in a way
so what was what was it more i love that because what was a moment for you where
(01:54):
you kind of had that wake up of whoa i'm living in a dream world military i
joined the military when i was like basically 21 okay and that was my why.
I'm a person that needs to succeed in life. I firmly believe in myself and the things I can do.
And at the time I was working a couple of jobs. I was just going to school.
(02:15):
I just got a modeling contract, but I wasn't doing anything.
And so I want to succeed in life. So I was like, let me just join the military.
My dad was in the Marines.
My grandpa was in the Marines. My stepdad was in the Marines.
My aunt was in the army. It's just like, I
grew up with a military family and the
military was going to give me a job that i
(02:38):
can start making money and do something with my life so were your parents
like you said you had already gotten a modeling contract so yeah
was that something that was realistic because my parents are very i always say
immigrant mindset in the sense of like they were in a rock and roll band together
they met each other and then they started band that's dope it's incredible and
then you know they went got got regular jobs, started a family.
(03:03):
So in their mind is like, yeah, you can do creative stuff, but then you got
to, what's the business?
How are you going to make money? Were your parents, when you got the modeling,
was that something that they were supportive of or?
Yeah, they were definitely supportive. It's just that.
How do you make money out of it? Well, no, I'd only done it for like two months.
Oh, okay. It was fresh. I didn't even give it a chance to actually see where I can go.
(03:25):
Were you into it or was it just something that just kind of happened?
I kind of always did modeling slightly with like friends and outside of that,
like I've done a couple like things when I was a child, but I just never really did it.
And at the time, I didn't know what I wanted to do for a living.
I didn't realize I wanted to get into creative things.
I just didn't do it because at the time, you know, they say creative jobs,
(03:48):
you don't get paid. Right. So I was told that when I was younger.
So already when I was like in high school, I just was just chilling.
So I was like, I'm down to do modeling. But I had gotten in a car accident.
I was speeding down this hill and in Washington, it's like literally country.
And like my house was like, literally it was like a cabin house.
And I was, I was speeding down this hill and I slid into the ditch.
(04:11):
And literally a year before that, my friend who lives in California, it was raining.
He slid into a tree and died. And there's only one tree.
Like there was literally an open field, one tree. I guess he had that one tree
and got in a car accident and died.
I'm in Washington. There's trees everywhere. and I fall in this ditch and I'm okay.
(04:31):
So like, I don't know. I just, my mom is so disappointed in me.
She was just so upset at me. And I was just like, I gotta do something with my life.
Uncle Sam, here I come. Okay. So you went to the military. Yeah.
What was that experience like?
Was it, did you, you know, obviously I'll say every cousin of mine that did
it, they come out very disciplined and that crosses over into their afterlife,
(04:56):
the military. What was a pro and a con for you going into it?
I wouldn't say I was disciplined. I grew up in a military family.
My dad, like, as my punishment, I would have to do wall sits.
It's called electric chair. You sit against the wall, arms out like this,
and just sit there just like... So you have great quads. Actually,
I do. Plus, I play soccer.
(05:18):
I do. So, yeah, what I got out of the military was...
Once again that realization that the world is not perfect it taught me
that and i kind of appreciate that because now i'm not like
naive you know what i mean like i now know that
when i got out of it though too was the world's
not perfect so now it's like this double-edged sword like
(05:38):
it kind of made me sad i had a lot of sad
moments in the military like it was lonely because a
lot of people in the military at the time too they just
aren't fully there mentally sleep either it's just
like it just breeds stupidity in
a way because all we did was just fight i would
fight people look at me like i look like a fighter i would
(05:59):
just go down to somebody else's room where like they sleep it's called
birthing area and i'd be like yo you want to start
shit and i would just start wrestling with them and i
where do you feel that came from energy it's just
a whole bunch of men on a ship stuck working
together told what to do there's nothing nothing else to do but be stupid we
work out people be watching porn together and a little birthing area that's
(06:22):
just how like crazy it is on the ship boys will be boys yeah literally it the
military breeds that okay it's easy to mind control a boy and that's what you have to do you have to,
in the military you have to be able to do what you're told and not really think
about what to do so the military like taught me that i didn't want to be in
that space you know i am a free thinker.
(06:44):
And on top of that, like once again, trying to be better in my life,
I wanted to, I told them to send me to school.
I wanted to be an air traffic controller, not because I thought the job was cool.
Just instantly, once you got the military, it was like a hundred cat a year.
So I'm like, I'm trying to get the money.
And when I was getting out, they said they were going to send me to school, but they never did.
(07:04):
And I'm like, I'm not signing this contract until I go to school.
And they never did. So I got up.
Okay. So when did art kind of come into play after military?
Okay, so art came into play years later.
I got out of the military. I started doing modeling and acting again.
(07:25):
And then I thought I was good.
So I moved to LA from Florida. So I'm like, oh, I'm doing great here in Florida.
Like I literally did a show where I was in my underwear and they paid me $100
an hour just to paint chocolate on me. That's not really modeling, but.
I mean, like in this day and age, you know, put your own left and make all the coolness.
(07:49):
Literally though, literally. but like i was doing like runway shows
and stuff like that so i thought i can come to la and do it learn
the hard way no it was hard
it was just like if you don't know nobody then it's really
hard to get into and plus i'm like 5 11 so they were like you're not six like
you got to be like six and one to really get into modeling really yeah yeah
(08:10):
at least back then that was also like what 10 years ago damn emote that was
like 10 years ago but what got me into art again was What's COVID?
COVID was my eye-opening experience for like painting and art.
I was, I was letting go from my job because they weren't sure what was going to happen.
(08:31):
And I was chilling and my TV broke.
And I'm like, damn, my TV's broken. Not during COVID.
Not during COVID. And you know, my mind, how my mind thinks,
I was like, yo, TVs are made to have pictures.
So I bought some paint on Amazon. I started painting on my TV.
I love it. And then that's what kind of like grew that interest to get back
into art again okay you're sitting here talking about you went to the military
(08:54):
and you had all this energy and so you're trying to fight people because you
had all this energy so now covet happens.
I mean, what happened with that energy? So do you, instead of turning it into
something negative, you used painting and art as that outlet?
Yeah, I mean, constantly I would just paint every day. Like COVID was,
I understand it was hard for others.
(09:15):
For me, COVID was amazing. I had a great time.
Due to the fact that my roommates at the time, we got along,
we would just barbecue every day, watch movies together. It was like the first
time in my life I could relax.
I had no worries. like you didn't you weren't worried about being
out to work on time like you didn't care about anything i mean
some people worried but for me i had no worries you know
(09:37):
i mean so i could paint every day i could fuck around and find out and be like
a child again covid was like me being a child again because now i had no responsibility
it's refreshing to hear that because i feel like covid did allow and i also
think i do think overall for most people it did because you You look at like TikTok,
how many people were using that as a creative outlet, whether it's the dancing
(10:01):
or the, you know, they were doing mimicking stuff, telling jokes or stories.
So I think for creative, I think
it was almost like a creative renaissance for people on our side of it.
We should honestly have a time like that where we shut everything down once every few years.
I wish, like what's the chance of that though? So I saw in an interview you
(10:22):
said you made a comment that your mom was a big push for you with art and she
made you a doer versus a dreamer. Yeah. And explain that.
So basically, yeah, ever since I was a child, man, I was I was a dreamer,
always a dreamer. I would say, hey, mom, I want to do this.
I was like, hey, well, I want to be a singer. And my mom is a real, real person.
(10:44):
She was like, you know what, son, you just don't have that talent or skill.
So therefore maybe you should just try to focus on something different.
And I was like, okay. So like I've always grown up with my mom being real with me, like no BS.
So I would, she would be excited for my ideas over time.
But then eventually after hearing the same shit, she was like, cool idea.
(11:08):
Nice. What's next? What's next? Are you going to do it? Yeah.
So it was like, I got to change that.
And I stopped, I stopped telling my mom what I was doing and showed her what I did.
Because I feel like people, they love talking about ideas. It gives them a little high.
And then once they realize the word that goes into it, they're like,
(11:29):
oh no, no, no, no. It was a great idea though. It was a great conversation in that one moment.
And it made me like be more about my movement than talk about it because you
can talk about something and not happen.
Like, especially living in LA, you know, people talk all the time.
Like, I want to do this with you. I want to do that with you.
It just never happens because it's all talk.
And, you know, it's funny because you learned at a young age.
(11:51):
For me, I learned it out here.
I grew up in a bubble mindset, mostly because of my sexuality.
Like, I had to be this person to everyone else. But then I was like,
okay, but I know who I am inside.
So, but I just figured, well, this is life, whatever. So then as soon as I got
older, I just ran out into the world thinking, oh, that was how home is.
(12:13):
Now I'm going to go up into this world.
And then when you moved, because I lived in New York for a while.
Which I'm an East Coaster, so I love that hardness, the fast paced work.
And then you move out here, like, and if someone don't like you or fuck with
you, they're going to let you know that.
And oh, here it's a different type of energy. Everyone's like,
yeah, we should do this. We should work on this together.
(12:34):
Like we can develop this. If you help me out, you know, in a year, we'll be here.
And you're like, okay, yeah, sure. Let's just, it's cool. This is fun.
I'm someone who's like, hey, I'm down for a good time. Yeah.
You know, and if you're saying money's involved, great.
Yeah. And you learn quickly out here that you learn discernment.
(12:55):
Yes. Oh, yeah. Yes. Yes, I've learned that a lot lately too, man.
As a creative, man, you really have to own your power and not give it away.
As creatives, we typically give our power away to other people to help them in what they want to do.
Yes. And granted, yes, they probably do want to help you, but in the end, it's still for them.
And it really like takes away what you can do for yourself and give it away.
(13:18):
It's like paying somebody to work for them, basically.
Like my talent is my talent and I'm paying you.
You i'm giving it to you to give me a couple pocket chains
and something like that it doesn't really help me right so it's like it
la taught me that for sure like own your
own power be your own creative and find that path of
the way it's like that virtue when they say like if
(13:40):
they're not pouring into if you're pouring into something that's not
pouring into you what's the point 100% working
on and i love that you said that because as a artist
specifically in a day and age with social
media people can just screenshot a picture
of yours or how do you
navigate that space was that something that you
(14:02):
know because again for me djing it was i made this mix years ago this is like
when i know this is gonna sound crazy when youtube was like just starting out
soldier boy days bro i might have been before that and i uploaded this blondie
mix with um Um, oh my gosh,
my mind's blank right now, but I've put this mix up and someone worked it.
(14:25):
And then all of a sudden they put a music video, they made a music video to it.
And that was my first time putting my creativeness out into the world and having it take.
What was, do you have any experiences with that? So as a Libra,
you know what I mean? I'm always looking for the checks and balances.
And for me, man, go ahead, steal my shit.
(14:46):
It's my shit. But that's more affirmation for me to realize that, yo, I am that good.
If you're still myself and becoming hot off it, that means I'm that good.
But as a creative, I think it's important for you to find your mark.
So therefore if somebody steals it they know that somebody stole it from you
yes if you have like a consistent mark of like what you do it's easier for people
(15:11):
to recognize that that's from you and as creatives we,
we love to mind jump in different directions and what I've learned so far is
the best way as a creative to really succeed as a creative is creating that
same mark over and over again it's like walking in a field of grass.
You can walk once that one pathway and
(15:34):
that one pathway would go away because it's just it's just
going to cover it up cover it up again but if you walk consistently every
day on that path somebody's like oh that's randy's
path yeah so therefore creating that path mark
of what you want to create it's gonna it's gonna
protect you from people stealing your ideas but also let them
steal your ideas man because at least you know you're
(15:56):
doing something worth worth stealing it's better than not
being seen yes yeah yes because they can
steal that one idea but can they really copy everything you're doing so who
is creative vice where did creative vice come from and then what is the difference
between creative vice and random okay so creative vice man creative vice came
(16:17):
from my vice in life which is creativity i.
I can't live life without creating. Unfortunately, not unfortunately,
I'm very blessed. But like, I dream about creativity.
I'll wake up in the middle of the night at like 3 a.m. with like a song idea.
And I can't sing once again. My mom said I can't sing. And I mean,
I probably could if I take lessons.
(16:38):
But like, I'm not a singer at this point in time.
So this song is worthless to me at the moment. But like, that's how much my
mind just loves to create. But you could be a writer.
I do. Actually, I wrote the song before. Okay. that but since i
don't know how to write songs either i have to learn that skill still
but yeah it's like it's creative
(16:59):
advice is literally just my desire to
create everything in the world like my goal for when i died is to be like yo
randy created this this this and that and he did it well in those areas and
it's every single area like one of my goals is to help people in poorer countries
with food i know there's this place i believe in malaysia where they eat this food called Pug Pug.
(17:22):
Pug Pug is basically trash food. They go to the KFC parking lot,
go in the trash can, pick up the chicken. People don't eat the whole chicken.
They just eat the center.
They take that little piece, clean it, then sell it to their fellow people in
their community for 25 cents a meal. This is something somebody's already eaten.
One of my life goals is to find a way to help them take food from real restaurants,
(17:44):
not in the trash, that is still edible, but the restaurants no longer using,
and then use that to sell.
That's one creative idea I
want to do. Like it's, I want to hit almost everything I can before I die.
Do something like design a car that does something. I don't know.
That's like my creative ice. I love it.
You made a comment where you said life as a creative is lonely.
(18:05):
Yes, totally agree. But what is your perspective?
So to me, the way I view a creative lonely life is sometimes you have an idea
in your head of what you see, for example, this cup to be like,
and as a creative, you strive, you really want to show that person like, Hey, look at this cup.
It does this as a map, but sometimes it's hard for them to see that vision.
(18:27):
So now I'm sitting here being like, I'm just sad. I'm trying to show you this, but I can't.
And then for me too, like with all my creative ideas is I
have a lot of those things I want want to show people but i can't show
them so then that creates a sense of loneliness because now i'm the
only one who's seeing what i see and nobody else gets it and then it's just
like also as a creative is just it comes with a lot of doubt and fear so and
(18:52):
then the idea of being like you know perceived in some type of weird way so
it just affects you in all different types of ways As a creative,
your whole life is being accepted, unfortunately.
You're supposed to not care what people think, but you're also supposed to care
because they're the ones giving you money and everything.
(19:13):
Imposter syndrome. Creatives, I go through it all the time. My friend can go through it.
How do you deal with that? And how has that been a fuel for your creativity?
Imposter syndrome. Yeah.
I mean, to be real, just so everybody knows, knows everybody has imposter syndrome
no matter where you're at.
Like no matter how successful you are, you will always have imposter syndrome.
(19:37):
So first off, knowing and understanding that will help you egg it through.
B, I like to do sound baths and meditations.
I like to ground myself and I stay away from others.
I am very lonely at times creating my own things because I'm.
Other people's voices and opinions can sometimes affect you and really just
(19:58):
drive you away from your own creativity.
And sometimes they want to be helpful. Sometimes they don't.
But that's how you start to lose yourself is when other people are kind of in your own mix and just,
once again, owning your power and just not giving a fuck, you know, what other people say,
that's how you get rid of imposter syndrome because people are going to fuck
(20:20):
with your shit if it's good.
Exactly. and always gets good if you can go yes and
you know for me it was having this
idea and this feeling of people would
always say like when i did stand-up comedy it'd be like oh well
what stand-ups do you watch back in
the day i used to listen my record my grandmother's record
(20:41):
player i'd listen to bill cosby ellen degenerates when
i got older marie chow but then when i
started doing comedy i couldn't watch other comedians because then it would
be like oh maybe i should talk about this maybe i should do that versus actually
don't want to absorb any content that i am doing so that what the content i
(21:01):
create is authentically me and i'm not mimicking or.
You know even djs are going to clubs and stuff like that you listen to the dj
and you're like i like the way they mix that it's like but now if i mix that
then i'm just ripping your mix like Like where if I'm just in my own home and I'm creating,
it's authentically what I am developing.
(21:22):
So I understand that getting rid of other people's voices and even like podcasts and stuff like that.
Like I listen to podcasts, but more self-help kind of stuff.
And I don't want to ever be mimicking, you know, being authentic or creative.
I have something to add to that. Go ahead. I think it's important to,
(21:42):
so for me, I didn't go to school for art.
So I have a very childlike mind. I can just create whatever I want and not to worry about rules.
I think it's important for people to have that moment of not getting influence
from others to kind of create your own style.
Then once you create your own style, that's when you get that other input from
(22:04):
others because there's a lot to learn from what other people did to help yourself.
And to be real art is just mimicking art you know i mean like when somebody paints a picture.
It's from something they saw heard something inspired that so it's always been
making each other so i think it's i mean everybody steals well wait so i love
(22:26):
that you're saying yeah because who are your inspirations because i'm not gonna
lie i saw your work and i was like oh my god,
Basquiat like you are literally the new age version thank
you thank you so for me I now currently
getting into that phase of learning from others I never really I didn't same
(22:47):
thing I didn't like watching other people make art I don't want to be compared
to anybody else I want to be Randy Richard Morales creative vice that's who
I am I'm not Basquiat I'm not whoever else,
But, you know, it's just a style of art.
So I always steered away. I didn't look at reference books.
And now I'm at a point where I now have, like, my cartoon characters,
(23:08):
my inner demons, and, like, my abstract art is mine.
And now I can find inspiration from others. So a person right now is, like, David Shep.
As an artist that I am right now, watching David Shep, he's helped me feel a
little bit more comfortable as an artist. Because...
Once again, it's lonely as an artist. And the only way to not feel lonely is
to talk to other artists. Because your friends and family don't understand who you are.
(23:32):
Not at all. I have ADHD.
My family constantly wants to put me on ADHD medicine. But what's making me
creative? Probably my ADHD.
So getting rid of that and taking medicine is not going to solve my issue.
So watching David Cho and hearing about his whole thing about art has really
helped me grow and become better.
And I love that. that because again we talked a little bit
(23:54):
about it before but same i got put on
medication i hated it how i felt and i
felt like it blocked a lot of creativeness and
then also it made me look at myself like
you don't need anything other than yourself i
can you know i would always joke around like i
can close my eyes and the world that is in my head
(24:15):
like i had a one friend come over and you you
see my cam you came in i have the projector on it's just like
nature sounds my friend came over and
was like you just watch this i'm like i have
enough going on in my head yeah that i don't need to invite you know and the
older i'm getting the less television i need you know even music to a point
(24:37):
is now like i find myself just listening like high frequency sense yeah so when
i say Who inspired you growing up?
What inspired you growing up in the sense of what cartoons did you watch?
What shows were in your mind?
Where did your vision for cartoons and doodles and all that kind of stem from your childhood?
(24:59):
So I always say this, but it started in the sandbox. For me,
in my backyard, I had a sandbox.
And I would just sit in the sandbox alone.
I didn't need any friends. I didn't need anybody and just play on my toys and
just create these worlds.
And from there, it's like, I would spend the night at my friend's house.
(25:21):
And when I'm at my friend's house, we'd play like spacecraft.
It's like this game where you, yeah, you know spacecraft?
Yeah, so it's a game where you have to create this world to fight other people and build things.
And then when I was at school, the only other kids I got along with were when
we were playing sports, PE, or I had this one friend, I believe his name is
Aaron. We made a comic book.
(25:42):
So my whole life, I've now realized this.
Everything I do is usually with somebody else creatively.
And that's how I became creative. It's just like, I can't sit there and talk
about LeBron James and his game killing his score last night.
Cause it's like, it doesn't do anything for me creatively.
So it was, it was just being around creative people and then like watching the Power Rangers, man.
(26:06):
Power Rangers is like one of my favorite, you know, Power Rangers.
My family always watched Disney movies.
So the Sword in the Stone was one he used to watch.
And I was always in trouble too, cause I was not a good kid.
So I'd watch cartoons when I was in trouble. I'd just sit there and watch cartoons.
You know what I mean? Like cartoons is just like my saving grace.
(26:26):
Just like when I was visiting my grandma in California, it's my grandma's house.
I love her to death, but there's nothing going on.
So we would watch Boomerang and just watch all the old school cartoons or we'd
watch like Curse the Cow or the Dog.
So cartoons really, I don't like to watch anything else.
Like I want funny things, sci-fi things.
(26:47):
X-Men. X-Men. yes x-men is wolverine is
dope i mean honestly the blue one that should like
teleport everywhere nightcrawler night i don't
know why i can't think about that nightcrawler nightcrawler or i used to always
play the stick games too like that that's all i cared about was sports and playing
sports playing because i'm the same i can't watch sports but i like playing
(27:08):
them yeah why even watch somebody else have fun yeah yeah that's the same energy
you know going back to the imposter thing and cartoons,
yes, we all face imposter syndrome.
I think some for me that always easily allowed me to get out of that imposter
syndrome is the idea of main character energy, right?
You have your own main character energy. I have my own main character and we
(27:31):
have our listening to the soundtracks of our lives separately.
But when we come together, Doug funny.
For me is somebody and if.
A lot of the style of what I wanted to create was like Doug, funny Peewee Herman.
They were these individuals who always had groups of friends,
but everyone was their own unique person.
(27:53):
Yeah. And I feel like as a kid, I really held onto that.
And then as I got older and you get disappointed in life, when you realize what
life, oh shit, everyone ain't just really, even though we are adults,
we are just grown children.
But we always, society makes us put this thing on. It's like,
Like, oh, I'm an adult now.
I'm this. It's like, and we live in a day and age where we are stimulated by
(28:18):
so many different things that it's like, who's created imposter syndrome?
Who says you can't be that? Who says you can't be an artist?
And who's telling you you can't make money off of it? Yeah. The man.
The man. This organization that is trying to control people.
Other people's fears and doubts, like your parents or your friends, somebody
(28:38):
else who tried it and they found it hard and
then gave up they're the ones that also feeds that
energy exactly back to you so how did you get
to a point where you felt comfortable like okay so you start making art people
start liking it and you know where you how do you make money off of that right
in a sense of like how did you develop your work towards what your art actually
(29:01):
is because how did Did you develop that strength within yourself? Yeah.
Art fucking sucks. Because it's like, once again, my imposter syndrome,
I don't think I'm worthy of selling an art piece for $40,000.
But what's the difference between my art piece and somebody else's art piece?
Yes, talent and skill, but also name and recognition.
(29:22):
They do pay on the fucking canvas too. It's the same exact materials.
You're just paying for their skills. So all it is, is believing in your skills,
giving it that power and conviction that it's worth that $40,000 price.
So when I started out, it was selling at Melrose Trading Post.
I would sell my art there and it was tough. Because like Melrose is kind of
(29:47):
like high end vintage shopping place, but it's still vintage shopping.
So the people that were coming in there, they were like, I had somebody be like,
oh, your art's too expensive. expensive.
And then I had one person be like, oh, how much is that? Oh, that's too cheap.
And they didn't want to buy it because it's cheap. And then I had the sort of
girl be like, mom, I want that. And the mom be like, oh, I can make that for you at home.
(30:08):
You know what I mean? It's just like those things, I hear those things,
but it's what you have to do is realize that, yo, this is something you want
to do, own it. You have to own that power.
So therefore I am coaching myself throughout this time that my art is worth that $40,000.
And you have to realize that that selling art is not about the art piece.
(30:29):
About you nobody gives a fuck about your art piece that's why
somebody can sell a banana tape to a wall for eighty
thousand dollars just because it's about the topic and
what it is it's nothing about the fucking banana so you have
to be you almost have to become the art piece while your
art piece is like at the same level as you you have to match the same energy
as your art piece basically see i think for me like i said too i was like i'm
(30:52):
not really an art guy but i am i love art i love creative people but like yeah
taping a banana to a wall like or somebody see some people with these splatter
paints and i need to see in price as a thing i'm like okay i don't get that,
but i love and appreciate it it doesn't have to
be like you know what was a i used to love growing up my art teacher there was
(31:12):
a pointillism where it's like dots oh yeah i don't know what style that is but
i was like okay this is cool i get it it's like cool you can be far away it's
one thing you walk up and it's just super detailed i'm like yeah okay i like
that kind of art it's It's cool.
But again, what drew me to you was the world that you created with these creatures and this thing.
And right now you have Inner Demon as the project that you're working on.
(31:34):
Do you call it a project? Is it an error?
Or is it like Taylor Swift? You're in your Inner Demon era? I think I am in my Inner Demon era.
People think I'm kind of like on this weird emo, like gothic. I don't believe in God.
I don't really believe in God, but I believe in spiritual energy and whatnot. not but
like people are like oh you're kind of becoming this devil talking about demons
(31:55):
and what i'm really talking about when i say inner demons is your inner negative
thoughts those are your demons because those are the ones that are going to
stop you from being great like an air demon for example is your fat.
That inner demon's constantly telling you that in your face. You hear it in your head.
(32:15):
So I try to like draw it as like this cute little thing.
And then at times I like make a crown. And in that crown, I put what that inner
demon's telling me. So like mine for the longest time was worth.
And for all artists, you are worthy.
Worth is something I had to realize I had to find it myself.
So my inner demon drawing it out and putting worth in the crown,
(32:37):
I'm like, I am worthy of being this artist. I am worthy being in this podcast
talking to you in this moment connecting.
And that's like what inner demons are about to make those things that your mind
tell you can't or cannot do and make it tangible.
Did you ever grow up watching Buffy? Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Yes.
My number one show growing up. Why I'm bringing it up is because what I loved
(33:01):
about it is I watched this behind.
Like I was obsessed. Like I would get my VHS tape. I would know exactly how
long the section would be. I was like, hey, stop record for the commercial.
So I had all the tapes before the DVDs were released.
I was that obsessed with it. And I remember watching this interview with Joss,
and they were like, how do you create the monsters on Buffy?
(33:22):
And he was like, easy. He was like, you're watching it from this point of vampires and goblins.
He's like, but each creature she meets is what someone her age in high school,
the inner demons that we face.
So now when you go back and you watch buffy and you realize what each episode
is about the main bad guy is a symbol for like he said an inner demon go back
(33:48):
and check that out i love that he said that because i always thought that was
so deep and then i went rewatched and you're like.
Whoa like and like there's just a different episode hush all these things where
we don't speak up for ourselves like and what they represent he'd said the fat
one too and there There was a Dina where it was the boat party. Yeah, yeah.
And that was just like, so I love that you said that.
(34:11):
Another conversation that I saw
you had in the podcast was the chase for freedom, the pursuit of freedom.
What is freedom to you? So I've really been diving into this deep lately.
I am almost at a point where I kind of want to move away from the United States.
I'm finding out that you can live in like in a country for like a thousand dollars a month.
I went to Greece and same. I'm like, yeah, what am I doing? Yeah.
(34:35):
I mean, just live out there.
So I know what I want in life. I want creative freedom.
I want to be that kid again in the sandbox where I didn't need anything else.
And in that moment, I could create anything I wanted.
So creative freedom to me is, unfortunately, is financial freedom. So I need to find that.
(34:56):
Be able to wake up in the morning and be like yo i had this
idea i want to do it i want to make a
new type of cookie that's like oatmeal pie and
apples and wine and we use apples instead of chocolate chips
like to have that freedom to be like i'm gonna pursue
this creative idea that's what i want in creative freedom not having
being able to live off my creative ideas that
(35:19):
are my ideas and not somebody else watering it down to
make it fit to what they want and that's the
the current dream i'm chasing and going to achieve period
as long as i'm afforded okay we kind of touched on
this but what does depression look like
for you as an artist or what did it look like for you i am oh that's great i'm
(35:40):
probably into i'm probably depressed right now okay honestly but it's a weird
type of depression for me right now because it's i'm having a hard time creating
i just don't feel like creating what is that what why what do you what's your block do you feel.
It's and this is what i think a lot of artists go through
you see the light at the end of the tunnel like i see the light i know i'm getting
(36:02):
closer to really get into what i want to do in my life and it's having the discipline
to just keep the head down don't just get so hot up in the light because we're
not out of the tunnel yet i'm in that moment where i see the light,
and i have to continuously put the same work and effort into it in order to
get the final goal because like I said, I see me having like these grand art shows.
(36:25):
I see myself doing these cool fashion collabs and it is happening.
Like I have a lot of things coming up for me, but it's not fully there yet.
It's almost like, I think the life end of the tunnel is a lie.
There is no end of the tunnel.
There is no damn end of the tunnel. Because you can keep going.
Yeah. It's the beauty of being a creator. Yes.
Is that like you said, once you hit freedom, like right now I would say in my life,
(36:49):
i have hit a i don't want to say a plateau but i i got out of depression to
a point wow i have my own company it's surreal for two years my company has sustained itself.
I don't have to work for anyone. I get to work with creatives. Yeah.
I get to start doing my little podcast at night. Yeah. Can be different.
Not little, big podcasts, big podcasts, big energy.
(37:13):
And so, okay. I hit this thing that I always thought this is where I want to get to.
Nowhere near where I want to keep going. You know what I'm saying? And it's almost that.
So my question is instead of you thinking you're in your depression error,
would you say you're just maybe not depression and because you're doing the
work and you're still doing that.
(37:33):
So would it be more of a feeling of burnout versus depression?
Make sure of both. I would say that, yeah. I think, for example, you said plateau.
I'm currently at a plateau. Okay. And I'm just trying to get through it.
Like, I'm not going to lie. I don't want to talk to you. I am such a happy person. I really am.
And I love when I'm in this situation, I love talking. But like,
(37:53):
once I leave here, bro, I'm going to go home, sit on the couch,
maybe draw and do the little things, but just be a loner. Which creatives need that.
But yeah, I just need this plateau moment to kind of regather my thoughts and
build the next big thing. Well, and that's what it is.
My Taurus moon understands your loneliness because I think that right now it
(38:16):
feels like you're in a re-energizing for yourself to be able to shed that skin,
to be able to step into this next version of creative vice.
Are you able to how are you able to pull yourself out of that mindset now you
know you're saying like right now i'm in this thing i'm you know but i feel
like you're talking about it like it's this,
(38:38):
shame not shameful but like this this thing like on see i'm happy now but when
i go home i'm going to do this that sounds very normal to me that sounds like
a good way to keep your protect your your peace and that energy.
What are some tools that you use now?
I know you said you do like sound baths, like mantras. What's a mantra that you have right now?
(38:59):
My mantra right now. Mantra, excuse me. Mantra, mantras. That's all good.
I understand what you're saying.
Bro, I'm this Thomas the Tank Engine. Is it Thomas the Tank Engine? I think I can.
It's not, it's not. What was that? I think I can. I think I can.
No, what was that with Damon Wayans? Choo, choo.
Basically, yeah. Okay. Like I said, and then also talking about it.
(39:23):
I'm openly like, yo, I am not my highest self.
Being able to acknowledge that I'm going through this is important.
If you're not openly talking about it to other people, it's not going to get any better.
So openly talking about what I'm currently going through. And then,
once again, being hungry for it.
As creatives, and to survive as a creative, you have to be hungry for it.
(39:46):
You have to eat the shit to get to the good meal.
And so therefore, I have to take every single hit in order to get to the big
picture. And I understand that.
And that's why I'm able to keep going. Because I'm like, I am willing to do it.
Because I'd rather eat my own shit than eat somebody else's shit and eat their
shit for the rest of their life. At least I know it's in my shit.
(40:07):
So it's like I'm working towards that every day. And I'm okay with going through
these sad moments or tough moments.
Because I know the happy moment is coming after. How do you celebrate yourself?
Oh, celebrating myself has been very tough. I have not celebrated myself until last year.
I feel like it doesn't feel like a win ever. Like I do a gallery show.
(40:30):
When I do a gallery show, I feel so depleted, man.
Like it's, I just spent what, two, three hours talking to every single person
because I want, I'm about connection.
So I don't want to just go to a gallery show and just be like,
Hey, thanks for coming. And not try to talk to every single person.
So for me, it's just like constantly just moving forward with that.
(40:51):
And just like, I don't know how to explain it. Have you always been open with
expressing your emotions and being comfortable with your emotions?
Was that something that military kind of like broke you out of? Okay.
So I have my boxed emotion series and my boxed emotion series is literally me
my whole entire life until heart.
(41:11):
I didn't share my thoughts and feelings for the longest time because specifically,
I remember in high school, I got hurt in this jock was this like, stop complaining.
You sound like a little bitch. And he was because I was saying I was hurt and
I was just saying what's going on.
And then him saying that changed my life. I shut the fuck up.
(41:32):
I wouldn't say anything.
I wouldn't tell people what I was going through. I would just keep it inside.
So when I create my box of emotions, it's basically a marble piece.
And the center just shows black and white emotions.
And when you keep that inside internally, it becomes this crazy chaotic thing.
And so that's why I create a box of emotions. And that represents me always
(41:56):
keeping emotions aside.
And it wasn't so art. and then working at Aloe, like designing at Aloe,
man, like I got a lot into like the health and wellness space because Aloe is about that.
So that's where I learned about sound baths. That's where I learned about just
meditations, breath work and all that stuff.
So that really opened up my mind to actually go into therapy.
So I found a therapist. And so I finally learned to let go.
(42:19):
And I've started to celebrate more. Like this year, I'm going to like Tokyo, Puerto Rico, Italy.
Like I'm trying to really celebrate life.
And every win is a win. But just realize there's more wins to get. Right.
What would you say is your biggest hurdle as a creative?
(42:40):
Biggest hurdle as a creative? Mentally. Myself. Okay.
I mean, yourself is the biggest hurdle. Because once again, yourself is the
one that's going to stop you from doing your creativity.
Only people can say things to you. But in the end, you're the one that stops
the creativity. You're the one that overthinks.
You're the one that technically I really feel like you're the only one that
(43:01):
can stop you from being great.
What about business industry wise? What's been your biggest? Biggest? Money.
Let's be real. Money is a big issue. like i want to make jewelry one day i'm
working on jewelry brand called alter ego and that takes capital but it's i
think also with being creative you have to learn to be creative in what you
(43:21):
do so when i first started painting canvases are expensive but you know the best thing about la,
there's a lot of people that live here go on the street there's
doors there's tvs there's
chairs there's tables all that stuff
is canvas and take that and create i
would go to ross and buy those $30 big art pieces
(43:43):
paint those white and then put my art
on top of it so it's money can be an issue but
money is really you that stops you yeah go to goodwill all
that goodwill man take some damn berries okay
mush them up and paint them on your clothes at least that's
something besides so what's next
for you where are we right now i know
we're fit where are we finishing inner demon the inner demon
(44:06):
world are we in are we mid inner demon what's next
for you artistically like drawing and creative and then and then fashion wise
what's going on cool so to be honest inner demons is the very beginning for
me right now okay like i just gave you one today obsessed thank you no and i
love it too because it said it said i have enough and you said that earlier
(44:26):
that you had that power or you realize you are enough.
But Inner Demons is just starting off for me. I haven't really released to anybody.
I haven't sold any pieces. Anytime somebody gets it, it's just because I connect
with them and I give it to them. But outside of that, I haven't really shared it.
Goals are, so I work with like a little coffee shop. I have this coffee shop
(44:46):
I go to called Flower Boy.
My goal is to actually like do like a little collaboration with them,
like pay like off the coffee cups. And then you can buy like flowers, coffee, and art.
Also, side note, I want to bring you to this conversation.
The street for me oh it's my favorite coffee shop in
la it is i called whale something i don't
even know but i go there every morning they have matcha i drink matcha i
(45:09):
don't drink coffee they have everything but they make
their own little pastries oh they make their own teas they make everything is
sourced naturally locally you would be a whole vibe with them it's called moby
dicks that's what it's called oh moby dicks i think i think they have another
one too down by venice area but yo See,
(45:30):
I'm down for that because I think that's what people are also not realizing.
Another hurdle is that if you're not connecting with your people,
if you're not making your pastries, like for me, when I make my art pieces,
you're supposed to protect your art. So I wrap my art.
And when I wrap my art, I put art on top of the art. It's just like the little detail that you make.
(45:51):
Everything I do as an artist is to be connected with somebody.
I don't make art prints. Like I'd probably be doing better off if I just took
pictures of my art, printed it out and sold it.
But I can't do that. It's not connection.
And I think that's what makes me special. And I want all other artists to kind
of focus on that too. Because like the whole point of making art is to connect with somebody.
(46:13):
So do it. No, because I'm going to be honest with you. Like holding the piece
you gave me in my hand and looking at it and knowing that.
Because I have in the past. You know, again, I told you Marshalls Ross and stay in there.
You find like a cool print of something and
it's like the print's cool and then you go see it at someone else's house you're
like okay and you're not gonna let me get rid of this i know you know exactly
(46:36):
i painted on one of those before i painted on an elephant before so then then
to see and honestly it was hard to pick out of the three you showed me but it
was like this one was so unique and it just spoke to me and i was like oh my
god i'm gonna get rid of this i'm gonna get rid of this.
But then to hold it in your hand and it's
like this thing that was a
paper that you it you can see the
(46:57):
texture on it like it makes it it's a finger print yeah you know and i think
that that is in a day and age and it's oh i didn't even smoke in a day and age
where we get to this world of ai art what's your whole like just kind of jump
into that with your mindset of what you think Because I see people,
I see artists using it and I see people using it in creative ways.
(47:22):
I also see a lot of people very upset, like Nicki Minaj. She dropped her album
and she used AI to promote it, which is innovative because we haven't seen an
artist. I haven't seen artists do that.
It did well marketing wise as a someone who doesn't do with the prints and all that stuff.
Like, how does AI art make you feel? What's your mindset in this world of AI?
(47:45):
I mean, no offense, but if you're not using AI, you're behind.
It's kind of like computers. You got to realize there's always something that's
going to replace you in what things you do.
For example, if you were a farmer back in the day and you were hoeing the freaking
ground, they created tractors. That took somebody's job.
(48:05):
You know what I mean? The person who learned how to ride the tractor then became more powerful.
So AI is that same exact tool to help you as an artist become more creative
and powerful. I love AI too because...
Has no judgment i can write to it and be like i have an idea to take this cuff
and paint it red and ai is not gonna be like that's a dumb idea right solo cup
(48:29):
does that ai is gonna be like well.
Do this isn't this and maybe it might work ai to me is just like a smarter you
that you can actually talk to and not worry about being judged and create some
beautiful things i think see it's It's funny because you say smarter you,
I would actually, I don't want to say smarter you because it's like,
(48:50):
it can't work without you. Correct.
So it's almost like that inner, like an inner voice that you can kind of back up.
Yes. You know, because that's my big thing with AI and all this and people saying,
we're going to lose our jobs.
It's like, well, if you learn how to control it, if you learn how to use it,
like I 38 years old and I just started going back to school to learn UX design,
(49:12):
you know, because I understand.
Of stand like it's like okay this is a tool that
i can be using for my company to be
able to you know grow yeah
and you're right it's not smart i would say it's it's a you that has knowledge
that you don't necessarily have right it's a you that's going it's you that
has no judgment and is willing to help you do what you want to do and as a creative
(49:37):
an artist i think it's up to you to To use that tool, once again, tool,
not an end-all, be-all product, but use that tool to help you create the things you want to do.
Because in a sense, low-key, a lot of things are gatekeepers.
Yeah. AI is a key to unlock that gate.
Because if you are hungry enough and you want to learn, you can work with it to figure out things.
(50:01):
And that's what AI should be used for. Like I said, I don't think,
once again, I understand people are saying it's going to take people's jobs.
Going to take your job if you don't know how to use it right and once again it's
and actually someone else is going to take your job and use it because they
learned how to do it exactly and it's like i can put in something in ai and
you can put something in ai and we're still getting something different learning
(50:22):
to how to use the prompts learning to think about what to say to ai is really
going to help you grow and one of the things i learned recently too like chat gpt.
Is honestly, if you have one single idea,
use ChatGPT for that one idea only. You know you can open up a new chat? Yeah.
Don't open up a new chat. For example, my jewelry brand, Alter Ego, I have one chat for it.
(50:45):
And it stores that data over time. And now it knows exactly the different variations,
the different stories I went through.
And it knows my brand DNA.
And now it's helping me start my business plan, which I didn't know how to do before.
Like I can now accomplish things more without
getting help from others or being worried about being judged from others
(51:06):
thanks to AI and AI is really a tool to
empower you but once again it's learning how to use it and just not not using
it for an answer like if I'm writing an email to somebody I write what I want
to answer from it you know I mean have a communication with it until you get
the right thing right don't just instantly like put this in and be like oh done yeah I like,
(51:28):
I have been really dabbling in the world of mid-journey and seeing the difference
between what mid-journey is going to give me versus what chat is going to give me.
Even Canva, because they have their own little thing that you can do.
And I'm like, what are the three different versions?
Who's going to give me what based off the same prompt? I think that's so interesting, too.
(51:49):
Fashion though. So where are we now with fashion? And what kind of,
because you went to school for fashion.
What was the pause with it? Where are you now with it? Okay.
So fashion for me, it's been six years since I started fashion.
I went to school at 27.
So I always feel like there's no, you can change your life anytime, point in life.
(52:11):
So going to school at 27, I knew what I wanted to do.
So when I was at school, I had my little presentation called Six, Speak Into Existence.
And a teacher saw it, let me present to somebody else.
And then that's how I got my first job at Alloyoga. Wow. And I was designing that for five years.
I just recently left Outlook to work at a new company called Cuts,
(52:33):
and I'm designing there.
But outside of that, I'm still growing my own fashion brand.
Like I make a couple other pieces personally.
I'm looking to paint on clothes, continue that art, and make it more connective.
And then, I mean, I need to get over my fear.
Of what? Not succeeding in fashion.
But you're already succeeding in every other avenue. So this is just another
(52:57):
creative avenue. It's just always the weird feeling of failing for your own self.
Like you can do it for everybody else, but doing it for something about doing it for yourself.
You never put the same. It's like you don't want to let somebody else down.
So you work harder for them.
You got to get over that. You got to get over that and not let your damn self down.
Yeah. But like mentally, those mental blocks, that fear, that doubt.
(53:20):
And it's so funny because, again, like going back to COVID, I was working at
that company and everyone at that company was like, Jesse Humero.
Like they're not paying you enough for all the
work you do you stay in after time you're doing all these things
i wanted to impress this guy because he had all this money
and he had this company and it was successful i'm like oh if he sees me this
(53:41):
is me and it's like oh if i work extra hours if i don't take my vacation time
if i don't take my sick time my boss will notice me and get me right no no and
i said to myself they they fucked one project up over for me and i was I was like,
I'm doing this for you and you taking my whole day off. But I can get through the work so quickly.
If I just find five people who need me to edit a video. Yeah.
(54:06):
Now I'm going to pay like five different people and I stuck, bro.
You just, I know you already know to just do it. So it's not even like, Hey, let me inspire you.
No, you are. You are. But it was, that was a lesson that I really,
you know, I think sometimes society puts it. We watch TV, but people going to
work, oh, the movie's about this guy at work.
(54:27):
And so we think we have to go to work and we have to, a family has to be this
and life has to be like that. And it's like, no, you can literally be whatever you want.
I think for me, I don't want to, I'm not one to ask people for things.
You know what I mean? Like in creating your own fashion brand,
you have to put it out there and be like, hey, will you buy this? Right.
The answer is yes. Yeah. Thank you. Yes. I do. Like I saw your socks. I'm like.
(54:52):
Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, I just have, I am working on getting past that.
I'm actually working on a brand
with my, one of my best friends called Fiber Party Label on the side.
We're working on building that up again and really becoming our own masters of our own stuff.
It's just getting it to that point, which takes capital, but there's other ways
(55:12):
to get around that. It's just learning exactly what that is.
And thanks to chat, GBT, you know, it's helping us build a business plan to
probably gain capital to actually start the project.
Okay. Love it. Do you have any tips for artists who are talented enough to step
away from a nine to five to go full time?
I think best tip would be kind of have a plan. I mean, you do have to have a
(55:38):
plan to leave, have an exit plan.
Don't just jump into this leaving, but create that plan of what to do to leave
and then what you're going to do.
Sustain your life that you want to live. And you have to, once again,
also realize it's going to get rough.
And you have to have that ability to continue to push on.
(56:00):
Because if you're the type of person that as soon as you feel some type of friction,
leaving your full-time job is not going to be okay.
You have to literally sit in discomfort.
Yes. You have to get broken in a way and be like, how am I going to pay my next,
I'm going to have to eat hot dogs because they're cheaper than I have to eat
McDonald's or something. You have to be willing to go through that moment and
(56:23):
then also be smart and save later down the road.
You have to put yourself out there. You have to put yourself out there.
Once again, being a creator, you can't just be talented.
You have to be able to talk. You have to be able to communicate.
You have to be able to network with other people in order to make it.
Because once people aren't buying your art, they're buying your story about the art and you.
(56:44):
Well, I just want to thank you for sharing your story. Thank you. in coming year.
And again, I can't wait till we got, when you have the show,
I want to come down and have a film name. I want to do segments.
Maybe you can help me. I'm working on my biggest art show I want to do.
It's called Flee. It's about immigration.
The whole purpose is to tell the story of immigrants on why they would leave
(57:08):
their homes to come to America.
Like, I can't picture myself leaving everything I have here and just traveling
on foot through, you know, treacherous things or whatnot, just to be in America
where you probably are to get like judge no matter what.
And then like, you know, it just doesn't seem right. So like.
(57:29):
Basically, I want to create art that way. So in the border, I want to take trash
and then create sculptures of stories of what we're leaving.
So in Nicaragua, they take boats. I want to create a boat out of the trash that's
left behind to showcase what they're going through. I love it. It's obsessed.
And it's funny that you said that because you just talked about earlier,
(57:50):
why would someone get up and leave from where they're at?
Where then you sat with me, you told me, I want to get up and leave from here
and live somewhere else.
To live a better life yeah so it's
funny like it's like the i would say grass is green on
the other side or it's perspective too you
know we again we have a mutual friend and i watch his life every day overseas
(58:11):
and i'm like yeah what am i doing like these look so laid back when i went to
greece and they when i tell you four o'clock comes around and you sit mind you
i'm sitting at a restaurant i've already ordered they brought the food oh and
it was like then four o'clock hit and And then you're like, well,
and then all of a sudden it's like five, five 30. Like, okay, where's my waiter?
(58:32):
Then, oh, everyone went home for a siesta. What did, what?
It's just like, I can just get up and walk away. Like no one was chirping about
nothing. Like, yeah, the siesta was in the middle of their shit.
They were like, oh, we're going to take a nap. Hi. Oh, well. We need that.
And I'm like, and who was like, I want to live in a man. And I'm like, absolutely not.
And then you struggle. Work nine to five and then work at six to 10.
(58:55):
You know what I mean? Have a job after a job.
That's the American life. But again, thank you for coming through.
Where can everyone follow you, keep in contact, continue to watch this journey? For sure.
So everything's at creativevice on Instagram. And then my website is www.creativevice.co.
Period. Period, period. Thank you, man.
Randy morales yes creative
vice yes yo first and foremost thank
you for coming yo thank you it's an honor i'm an author we're
gonna like kick out each other because like i came
across your stuff and we briefly talked about this but i came across
your stuff and i just saw your art and then
i saw a video of you at first i found your art and
(00:21):
i was like i saw your art and i was like what are these creatures what
is this what who created this and i think i
literally just this friend of you instantly and just wrote to you i love your
magic and i was just like i feel like he's gonna get
what i mean when i say that and your response was epic
and i was just like i need you on the cast yeah no it was very
quick and easy i was like as soon as i saw i was like yeah i'm bad i'm scared you
said magic i'm like i like magic it's like the world is magic sometimes most
(00:45):
of the time it is but you know it's like yeah why not what i do want to know
is is what was your childhood like like where did you grow up what type of what
was your household like Like two parents, one parent, what was?
So I grew up in Washington state.
Interesting enough, it's definitely a different life than living in LA.
I grew up with three sisters. I like the middle-ish.
(01:09):
I grew up with my mom and dad, my stepdad, but he was like my real dad since the childbirth.
Okay. But yeah, we grew up in Washington and man, I was so naive as a child.
I thought the world was just beautiful and perfect. like I
really thought that everybody just cared
and loved for each other and even like when 9-11 happened I
was like I was just a random incident you know everybody still
(01:31):
loves each other and yeah I just grew up
with this idea that the world was perfect and I think that has
helped me because I still want to have the world to
be perfect so that creates me trying to be nice to others and
also helps me me and my art because now
I'm just like very focused on trying to make the world a better place in a way
so what was what was it more i love that because what was a moment for you where
(01:54):
you kind of had that wake up of whoa i'm living in a dream world military i
joined the military when i was like basically 21 okay and that was my why.
I'm a person that needs to succeed in life. I firmly believe in myself and the things I can do.
And at the time I was working a couple of jobs. I was just going to school.
(02:15):
I just got a modeling contract, but I wasn't doing anything.
And so I want to succeed in life. So I was like, let me just join the military.
My dad was in the Marines.
My grandpa was in the Marines. My stepdad was in the Marines.
My aunt was in the army. It's just like, I
grew up with a military family and the
military was going to give me a job that i
(02:38):
can start making money and do something with my life so were your parents
like you said you had already gotten a modeling contract so yeah
was that something that was realistic because my parents are very i always say
immigrant mindset in the sense of like they were in a rock and roll band together
they met each other and then they started band that's dope it's incredible and
then you know they went got got regular jobs, started a family.
(03:03):
So in their mind is like, yeah, you can do creative stuff, but then you got
to, what's the business?
How are you going to make money? Were your parents, when you got the modeling,
was that something that they were supportive of or?
Yeah, they were definitely supportive. It's just that.
How do you make money out of it? Well, no, I'd only done it for like two months.
Oh, okay. It was fresh. I didn't even give it a chance to actually see where I can go.
(03:25):
Were you into it or was it just something that just kind of happened?
I kind of always did modeling slightly with like friends and outside of that,
like I've done a couple like things when I was a child, but I just never really did it.
And at the time, I didn't know what I wanted to do for a living.
I didn't realize I wanted to get into creative things.
I just didn't do it because at the time, you know, they say creative jobs,
(03:48):
you don't get paid. Right. So I was told that when I was younger.
So already when I was like in high school, I just was just chilling.
So I was like, I'm down to do modeling. But I had gotten in a car accident.
I was speeding down this hill and in Washington, it's like literally country.
And like my house was like, literally it was like a cabin house.
And I was, I was speeding down this hill and I slid into the ditch.
(04:11):
And literally a year before that, my friend who lives in California, it was raining.
He slid into a tree and died. And there's only one tree.
Like there was literally an open field, one tree. I guess he had that one tree
and got in a car accident and died.
I'm in Washington. There's trees everywhere. and I fall in this ditch and I'm okay.
(04:31):
So like, I don't know. I just, my mom is so disappointed in me.
She was just so upset at me. And I was just like, I gotta do something with my life.
Uncle Sam, here I come. Okay. So you went to the military. Yeah.
What was that experience like?
Was it, did you, you know, obviously I'll say every cousin of mine that did
it, they come out very disciplined and that crosses over into their afterlife,
(04:56):
the military. What was a pro and a con for you going into it?
I wouldn't say I was disciplined. I grew up in a military family.
My dad, like, as my punishment, I would have to do wall sits.
It's called electric chair. You sit against the wall, arms out like this,
and just sit there just like... So you have great quads. Actually,
I do. Plus, I play soccer.
(05:18):
I do. So, yeah, what I got out of the military was...
Once again that realization that the world is not perfect it taught me
that and i kind of appreciate that because now i'm not like
naive you know what i mean like i now know that
when i got out of it though too was the world's
not perfect so now it's like this double-edged sword like
(05:38):
it kind of made me sad i had a lot of sad
moments in the military like it was lonely because a
lot of people in the military at the time too they just
aren't fully there mentally sleep either it's just
like it just breeds stupidity in
a way because all we did was just fight i would
fight people look at me like i look like a fighter i would
(05:59):
just go down to somebody else's room where like they sleep it's called
birthing area and i'd be like yo you want to start
shit and i would just start wrestling with them and i
where do you feel that came from energy it's just
a whole bunch of men on a ship stuck working
together told what to do there's nothing nothing else to do but be stupid we
work out people be watching porn together and a little birthing area that's
(06:22):
just how like crazy it is on the ship boys will be boys yeah literally it the
military breeds that okay it's easy to mind control a boy and that's what you have to do you have to,
in the military you have to be able to do what you're told and not really think
about what to do so the military like taught me that i didn't want to be in
that space you know i am a free thinker.
(06:44):
And on top of that, like once again, trying to be better in my life,
I wanted to, I told them to send me to school.
I wanted to be an air traffic controller, not because I thought the job was cool.
Just instantly, once you got the military, it was like a hundred cat a year.
So I'm like, I'm trying to get the money.
And when I was getting out, they said they were going to send me to school, but they never did.
(07:04):
And I'm like, I'm not signing this contract until I go to school.
And they never did. So I got up.
Okay. So when did art kind of come into play after military?
Okay, so art came into play years later.
I got out of the military. I started doing modeling and acting again.
(07:25):
And then I thought I was good.
So I moved to LA from Florida. So I'm like, oh, I'm doing great here in Florida.
Like I literally did a show where I was in my underwear and they paid me $100
an hour just to paint chocolate on me. That's not really modeling, but.
I mean, like in this day and age, you know, put your own left and make all the coolness.
(07:49):
Literally though, literally. but like i was doing like runway shows
and stuff like that so i thought i can come to la and do it learn
the hard way no it was hard
it was just like if you don't know nobody then it's really
hard to get into and plus i'm like 5 11 so they were like you're not six like
you got to be like six and one to really get into modeling really yeah yeah
(08:10):
at least back then that was also like what 10 years ago damn emote that was
like 10 years ago but what got me into art again was What's COVID?
COVID was my eye-opening experience for like painting and art.
I was, I was letting go from my job because they weren't sure what was going to happen.
(08:31):
And I was chilling and my TV broke.
And I'm like, damn, my TV's broken. Not during COVID.
Not during COVID. And you know, my mind, how my mind thinks,
I was like, yo, TVs are made to have pictures.
So I bought some paint on Amazon. I started painting on my TV.
I love it. And then that's what kind of like grew that interest to get back
into art again okay you're sitting here talking about you went to the military
(08:54):
and you had all this energy and so you're trying to fight people because you
had all this energy so now covet happens.
I mean, what happened with that energy? So do you, instead of turning it into
something negative, you used painting and art as that outlet?
Yeah, I mean, constantly I would just paint every day. Like COVID was,
I understand it was hard for others.
(09:15):
For me, COVID was amazing. I had a great time.
Due to the fact that my roommates at the time, we got along,
we would just barbecue every day, watch movies together. It was like the first
time in my life I could relax.
I had no worries. like you didn't you weren't worried about being
out to work on time like you didn't care about anything i mean
some people worried but for me i had no worries you know
(09:37):
i mean so i could paint every day i could fuck around and find out and be like
a child again covid was like me being a child again because now i had no responsibility
it's refreshing to hear that because i feel like covid did allow and i also
think i do think overall for most people it did because you You look at like TikTok,
how many people were using that as a creative outlet, whether it's the dancing
(10:01):
or the, you know, they were doing mimicking stuff, telling jokes or stories.
So I think for creative, I think
it was almost like a creative renaissance for people on our side of it.
We should honestly have a time like that where we shut everything down once every few years.
I wish, like what's the chance of that though? So I saw in an interview you
(10:22):
said you made a comment that your mom was a big push for you with art and she
made you a doer versus a dreamer. Yeah. And explain that.
So basically, yeah, ever since I was a child, man, I was I was a dreamer,
always a dreamer. I would say, hey, mom, I want to do this.
I was like, hey, well, I want to be a singer. And my mom is a real, real person.
(10:44):
She was like, you know what, son, you just don't have that talent or skill.
So therefore maybe you should just try to focus on something different.
And I was like, okay. So like I've always grown up with my mom being real with me, like no BS.
So I would, she would be excited for my ideas over time.
But then eventually after hearing the same shit, she was like, cool idea.
(11:08):
Nice. What's next? What's next? Are you going to do it? Yeah.
So it was like, I got to change that.
And I stopped, I stopped telling my mom what I was doing and showed her what I did.
Because I feel like people, they love talking about ideas. It gives them a little high.
And then once they realize the word that goes into it, they're like,
(11:29):
oh no, no, no, no. It was a great idea though. It was a great conversation in that one moment.
And it made me like be more about my movement than talk about it because you
can talk about something and not happen.
Like, especially living in LA, you know, people talk all the time.
Like, I want to do this with you. I want to do that with you.
It just never happens because it's all talk.
And, you know, it's funny because you learned at a young age.
(11:51):
For me, I learned it out here.
I grew up in a bubble mindset, mostly because of my sexuality.
Like, I had to be this person to everyone else. But then I was like,
okay, but I know who I am inside.
So, but I just figured, well, this is life, whatever. So then as soon as I got
older, I just ran out into the world thinking, oh, that was how home is.
(12:13):
Now I'm going to go up into this world.
And then when you moved, because I lived in New York for a while.
Which I'm an East Coaster, so I love that hardness, the fast paced work.
And then you move out here, like, and if someone don't like you or fuck with
you, they're going to let you know that.
And oh, here it's a different type of energy. Everyone's like,
yeah, we should do this. We should work on this together.
(12:34):
Like we can develop this. If you help me out, you know, in a year, we'll be here.
And you're like, okay, yeah, sure. Let's just, it's cool. This is fun.
I'm someone who's like, hey, I'm down for a good time. Yeah.
You know, and if you're saying money's involved, great.
Yeah. And you learn quickly out here that you learn discernment.
(12:55):
Yes. Oh, yeah. Yes. Yes, I've learned that a lot lately too, man.
As a creative, man, you really have to own your power and not give it away.
As creatives, we typically give our power away to other people to help them in what they want to do.
Yes. And granted, yes, they probably do want to help you, but in the end, it's still for them.
And it really like takes away what you can do for yourself and give it away.
(13:18):
It's like paying somebody to work for them, basically.
Like my talent is my talent and I'm paying you.
You i'm giving it to you to give me a couple pocket chains
and something like that it doesn't really help me right so it's like it
la taught me that for sure like own your
own power be your own creative and find that path of
the way it's like that virtue when they say like if
(13:40):
they're not pouring into if you're pouring into something that's not
pouring into you what's the point 100% working
on and i love that you said that because as a artist
specifically in a day and age with social
media people can just screenshot a picture
of yours or how do you
navigate that space was that something that you
(14:02):
know because again for me djing it was i made this mix years ago this is like
when i know this is gonna sound crazy when youtube was like just starting out
soldier boy days bro i might have been before that and i uploaded this blondie
mix with um Um, oh my gosh,
my mind's blank right now, but I've put this mix up and someone worked it.
(14:25):
And then all of a sudden they put a music video, they made a music video to it.
And that was my first time putting my creativeness out into the world and having it take.
What was, do you have any experiences with that? So as a Libra,
you know what I mean? I'm always looking for the checks and balances.
And for me, man, go ahead, steal my shit.
(14:46):
It's my shit. But that's more affirmation for me to realize that, yo, I am that good.
If you're still myself and becoming hot off it, that means I'm that good.
But as a creative, I think it's important for you to find your mark.
So therefore if somebody steals it they know that somebody stole it from you
yes if you have like a consistent mark of like what you do it's easier for people
(15:11):
to recognize that that's from you and as creatives we,
we love to mind jump in different directions and what I've learned so far is
the best way as a creative to really succeed as a creative is creating that
same mark over and over again it's like walking in a field of grass.
You can walk once that one pathway and
(15:34):
that one pathway would go away because it's just it's just
going to cover it up cover it up again but if you walk consistently every
day on that path somebody's like oh that's randy's
path yeah so therefore creating that path mark
of what you want to create it's gonna it's gonna
protect you from people stealing your ideas but also let them
steal your ideas man because at least you know you're
(15:56):
doing something worth worth stealing it's better than not
being seen yes yeah yes because they can
steal that one idea but can they really copy everything you're doing so who
is creative vice where did creative vice come from and then what is the difference
between creative vice and random okay so creative vice man creative vice came
(16:17):
from my vice in life which is creativity i.
I can't live life without creating. Unfortunately, not unfortunately,
I'm very blessed. But like, I dream about creativity.
I'll wake up in the middle of the night at like 3 a.m. with like a song idea.
And I can't sing once again. My mom said I can't sing. And I mean,
I probably could if I take lessons.
(16:38):
But like, I'm not a singer at this point in time.
So this song is worthless to me at the moment. But like, that's how much my
mind just loves to create. But you could be a writer.
I do. Actually, I wrote the song before. Okay. that but since i
don't know how to write songs either i have to learn that skill still
but yeah it's like it's creative
(16:59):
advice is literally just my desire to
create everything in the world like my goal for when i died is to be like yo
randy created this this this and that and he did it well in those areas and
it's every single area like one of my goals is to help people in poorer countries
with food i know there's this place i believe in malaysia where they eat this food called Pug Pug.
(17:22):
Pug Pug is basically trash food. They go to the KFC parking lot,
go in the trash can, pick up the chicken. People don't eat the whole chicken.
They just eat the center.
They take that little piece, clean it, then sell it to their fellow people in
their community for 25 cents a meal. This is something somebody's already eaten.
One of my life goals is to find a way to help them take food from real restaurants,
(17:44):
not in the trash, that is still edible, but the restaurants no longer using,
and then use that to sell.
That's one creative idea I
want to do. Like it's, I want to hit almost everything I can before I die.
Do something like design a car that does something. I don't know.
That's like my creative ice. I love it.
You made a comment where you said life as a creative is lonely.
(18:05):
Yes, totally agree. But what is your perspective?
So to me, the way I view a creative lonely life is sometimes you have an idea
in your head of what you see, for example, this cup to be like,
and as a creative, you strive, you really want to show that person like, Hey, look at this cup.
It does this as a map, but sometimes it's hard for them to see that vision.
(18:27):
So now I'm sitting here being like, I'm just sad. I'm trying to show you this, but I can't.
And then for me too, like with all my creative ideas is I
have a lot of those things I want want to show people but i can't show
them so then that creates a sense of loneliness because now i'm the
only one who's seeing what i see and nobody else gets it and then it's just
like also as a creative is just it comes with a lot of doubt and fear so and
(18:52):
then the idea of being like you know perceived in some type of weird way so
it just affects you in all different types of ways As a creative,
your whole life is being accepted, unfortunately.
You're supposed to not care what people think, but you're also supposed to care
because they're the ones giving you money and everything.
(19:13):
Imposter syndrome. Creatives, I go through it all the time. My friend can go through it.
How do you deal with that? And how has that been a fuel for your creativity?
Imposter syndrome. Yeah.
I mean, to be real, just so everybody knows, knows everybody has imposter syndrome
no matter where you're at.
Like no matter how successful you are, you will always have imposter syndrome.
(19:37):
So first off, knowing and understanding that will help you egg it through.
B, I like to do sound baths and meditations.
I like to ground myself and I stay away from others.
I am very lonely at times creating my own things because I'm.
Other people's voices and opinions can sometimes affect you and really just
(19:58):
drive you away from your own creativity.
And sometimes they want to be helpful. Sometimes they don't.
But that's how you start to lose yourself is when other people are kind of in your own mix and just,
once again, owning your power and just not giving a fuck, you know, what other people say,
that's how you get rid of imposter syndrome because people are going to fuck
(20:20):
with your shit if it's good.
Exactly. and always gets good if you can go yes and
you know for me it was having this
idea and this feeling of people would
always say like when i did stand-up comedy it'd be like oh well
what stand-ups do you watch back in
the day i used to listen my record my grandmother's record
(20:41):
player i'd listen to bill cosby ellen degenerates when
i got older marie chow but then when i
started doing comedy i couldn't watch other comedians because then it would
be like oh maybe i should talk about this maybe i should do that versus actually
don't want to absorb any content that i am doing so that what the content i
(21:01):
create is authentically me and i'm not mimicking or.
You know even djs are going to clubs and stuff like that you listen to the dj
and you're like i like the way they mix that it's like but now if i mix that
then i'm just ripping your mix like Like where if I'm just in my own home and I'm creating,
it's authentically what I am developing.
(21:22):
So I understand that getting rid of other people's voices and even like podcasts and stuff like that.
Like I listen to podcasts, but more self-help kind of stuff.
And I don't want to ever be mimicking, you know, being authentic or creative.
I have something to add to that. Go ahead. I think it's important to,
(21:42):
so for me, I didn't go to school for art.
So I have a very childlike mind. I can just create whatever I want and not to worry about rules.
I think it's important for people to have that moment of not getting influence
from others to kind of create your own style.
Then once you create your own style, that's when you get that other input from
(22:04):
others because there's a lot to learn from what other people did to help yourself.
And to be real art is just mimicking art you know i mean like when somebody paints a picture.
It's from something they saw heard something inspired that so it's always been
making each other so i think it's i mean everybody steals well wait so i love
(22:26):
that you're saying yeah because who are your inspirations because i'm not gonna
lie i saw your work and i was like oh my god,
Basquiat like you are literally the new age version thank
you thank you so for me I now currently
getting into that phase of learning from others I never really I didn't same
(22:47):
thing I didn't like watching other people make art I don't want to be compared
to anybody else I want to be Randy Richard Morales creative vice that's who
I am I'm not Basquiat I'm not whoever else,
But, you know, it's just a style of art.
So I always steered away. I didn't look at reference books.
And now I'm at a point where I now have, like, my cartoon characters,
(23:08):
my inner demons, and, like, my abstract art is mine.
And now I can find inspiration from others. So a person right now is, like, David Shep.
As an artist that I am right now, watching David Shep, he's helped me feel a
little bit more comfortable as an artist. Because...
Once again, it's lonely as an artist. And the only way to not feel lonely is
to talk to other artists. Because your friends and family don't understand who you are.
(23:32):
Not at all. I have ADHD.
My family constantly wants to put me on ADHD medicine. But what's making me
creative? Probably my ADHD.
So getting rid of that and taking medicine is not going to solve my issue.
So watching David Cho and hearing about his whole thing about art has really
helped me grow and become better.
And I love that. that because again we talked a little bit
(23:54):
about it before but same i got put on
medication i hated it how i felt and i
felt like it blocked a lot of creativeness and
then also it made me look at myself like
you don't need anything other than yourself i
can you know i would always joke around like i
can close my eyes and the world that is in my head
(24:15):
like i had a one friend come over and you you
see my cam you came in i have the projector on it's just like
nature sounds my friend came over and
was like you just watch this i'm like i have
enough going on in my head yeah that i don't need to invite you know and the
older i'm getting the less television i need you know even music to a point
(24:37):
is now like i find myself just listening like high frequency sense yeah so when
i say Who inspired you growing up?
What inspired you growing up in the sense of what cartoons did you watch?
What shows were in your mind?
Where did your vision for cartoons and doodles and all that kind of stem from your childhood?
(24:59):
So I always say this, but it started in the sandbox. For me,
in my backyard, I had a sandbox.
And I would just sit in the sandbox alone.
I didn't need any friends. I didn't need anybody and just play on my toys and
just create these worlds.
And from there, it's like, I would spend the night at my friend's house.
(25:21):
And when I'm at my friend's house, we'd play like spacecraft.
It's like this game where you, yeah, you know spacecraft?
Yeah, so it's a game where you have to create this world to fight other people and build things.
And then when I was at school, the only other kids I got along with were when
we were playing sports, PE, or I had this one friend, I believe his name is
Aaron. We made a comic book.
(25:42):
So my whole life, I've now realized this.
Everything I do is usually with somebody else creatively.
And that's how I became creative. It's just like, I can't sit there and talk
about LeBron James and his game killing his score last night.
Cause it's like, it doesn't do anything for me creatively.
So it was, it was just being around creative people and then like watching the Power Rangers, man.
(26:06):
Power Rangers is like one of my favorite, you know, Power Rangers.
My family always watched Disney movies.
So the Sword in the Stone was one he used to watch.
And I was always in trouble too, cause I was not a good kid.
So I'd watch cartoons when I was in trouble. I'd just sit there and watch cartoons.
You know what I mean? Like cartoons is just like my saving grace.
(26:26):
Just like when I was visiting my grandma in California, it's my grandma's house.
I love her to death, but there's nothing going on.
So we would watch Boomerang and just watch all the old school cartoons or we'd
watch like Curse the Cow or the Dog.
So cartoons really, I don't like to watch anything else.
Like I want funny things, sci-fi things.
(26:47):
X-Men. X-Men. yes x-men is wolverine is
dope i mean honestly the blue one that should like
teleport everywhere nightcrawler night i don't
know why i can't think about that nightcrawler nightcrawler or i used to always
play the stick games too like that that's all i cared about was sports and playing
sports playing because i'm the same i can't watch sports but i like playing
(27:08):
them yeah why even watch somebody else have fun yeah yeah that's the same energy
you know going back to the imposter thing and cartoons,
yes, we all face imposter syndrome.
I think some for me that always easily allowed me to get out of that imposter
syndrome is the idea of main character energy, right?
You have your own main character energy. I have my own main character and we
(27:31):
have our listening to the soundtracks of our lives separately.
But when we come together, Doug funny.
For me is somebody and if.
A lot of the style of what I wanted to create was like Doug, funny Peewee Herman.
They were these individuals who always had groups of friends,
but everyone was their own unique person.
(27:53):
Yeah. And I feel like as a kid, I really held onto that.
And then as I got older and you get disappointed in life, when you realize what
life, oh shit, everyone ain't just really, even though we are adults,
we are just grown children.
But we always, society makes us put this thing on. It's like,
Like, oh, I'm an adult now.
I'm this. It's like, and we live in a day and age where we are stimulated by
(28:18):
so many different things that it's like, who's created imposter syndrome?
Who says you can't be that? Who says you can't be an artist?
And who's telling you you can't make money off of it? Yeah. The man.
The man. This organization that is trying to control people.
Other people's fears and doubts, like your parents or your friends, somebody
(28:38):
else who tried it and they found it hard and
then gave up they're the ones that also feeds that
energy exactly back to you so how did you get
to a point where you felt comfortable like okay so you start making art people
start liking it and you know where you how do you make money off of that right
in a sense of like how did you develop your work towards what your art actually
(29:01):
is because how did Did you develop that strength within yourself? Yeah.
Art fucking sucks. Because it's like, once again, my imposter syndrome,
I don't think I'm worthy of selling an art piece for $40,000.
But what's the difference between my art piece and somebody else's art piece?
Yes, talent and skill, but also name and recognition.
(29:22):
They do pay on the fucking canvas too. It's the same exact materials.
You're just paying for their skills. So all it is, is believing in your skills,
giving it that power and conviction that it's worth that $40,000 price.
So when I started out, it was selling at Melrose Trading Post.
I would sell my art there and it was tough. Because like Melrose is kind of
(29:47):
like high end vintage shopping place, but it's still vintage shopping.
So the people that were coming in there, they were like, I had somebody be like,
oh, your art's too expensive. expensive.
And then I had one person be like, oh, how much is that? Oh, that's too cheap.
And they didn't want to buy it because it's cheap. And then I had the sort of
girl be like, mom, I want that. And the mom be like, oh, I can make that for you at home.
(30:08):
You know what I mean? It's just like those things, I hear those things,
but it's what you have to do is realize that, yo, this is something you want
to do, own it. You have to own that power.
So therefore I am coaching myself throughout this time that my art is worth that $40,000.
And you have to realize that that selling art is not about the art piece.
(30:29):
About you nobody gives a fuck about your art piece that's why
somebody can sell a banana tape to a wall for eighty
thousand dollars just because it's about the topic and
what it is it's nothing about the fucking banana so you have
to be you almost have to become the art piece while your
art piece is like at the same level as you you have to match the same energy
as your art piece basically see i think for me like i said too i was like i'm
(30:52):
not really an art guy but i am i love art i love creative people but like yeah
taping a banana to a wall like or somebody see some people with these splatter
paints and i need to see in price as a thing i'm like okay i don't get that,
but i love and appreciate it it doesn't have to
be like you know what was a i used to love growing up my art teacher there was
(31:12):
a pointillism where it's like dots oh yeah i don't know what style that is but
i was like okay this is cool i get it it's like cool you can be far away it's
one thing you walk up and it's just super detailed i'm like yeah okay i like
that kind of art it's It's cool.
But again, what drew me to you was the world that you created with these creatures and this thing.
And right now you have Inner Demon as the project that you're working on.
(31:34):
Do you call it a project? Is it an error?
Or is it like Taylor Swift? You're in your Inner Demon era? I think I am in my Inner Demon era.
People think I'm kind of like on this weird emo, like gothic. I don't believe in God.
I don't really believe in God, but I believe in spiritual energy and whatnot. not but
like people are like oh you're kind of becoming this devil talking about demons
(31:55):
and what i'm really talking about when i say inner demons is your inner negative
thoughts those are your demons because those are the ones that are going to
stop you from being great like an air demon for example is your fat.
That inner demon's constantly telling you that in your face. You hear it in your head.
(32:15):
So I try to like draw it as like this cute little thing.
And then at times I like make a crown. And in that crown, I put what that inner
demon's telling me. So like mine for the longest time was worth.
And for all artists, you are worthy.
Worth is something I had to realize I had to find it myself.
So my inner demon drawing it out and putting worth in the crown,
(32:37):
I'm like, I am worthy of being this artist. I am worthy being in this podcast
talking to you in this moment connecting.
And that's like what inner demons are about to make those things that your mind
tell you can't or cannot do and make it tangible.
Did you ever grow up watching Buffy? Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Yes.
My number one show growing up. Why I'm bringing it up is because what I loved
(33:01):
about it is I watched this behind.
Like I was obsessed. Like I would get my VHS tape. I would know exactly how
long the section would be. I was like, hey, stop record for the commercial.
So I had all the tapes before the DVDs were released.
I was that obsessed with it. And I remember watching this interview with Joss,
and they were like, how do you create the monsters on Buffy?
(33:22):
And he was like, easy. He was like, you're watching it from this point of vampires and goblins.
He's like, but each creature she meets is what someone her age in high school,
the inner demons that we face.
So now when you go back and you watch buffy and you realize what each episode
is about the main bad guy is a symbol for like he said an inner demon go back
(33:48):
and check that out i love that he said that because i always thought that was
so deep and then i went rewatched and you're like.
Whoa like and like there's just a different episode hush all these things where
we don't speak up for ourselves like and what they represent he'd said the fat
one too and there There was a Dina where it was the boat party. Yeah, yeah.
And that was just like, so I love that you said that.
(34:11):
Another conversation that I saw
you had in the podcast was the chase for freedom, the pursuit of freedom.
What is freedom to you? So I've really been diving into this deep lately.
I am almost at a point where I kind of want to move away from the United States.
I'm finding out that you can live in like in a country for like a thousand dollars a month.
I went to Greece and same. I'm like, yeah, what am I doing? Yeah.
(34:35):
I mean, just live out there.
So I know what I want in life. I want creative freedom.
I want to be that kid again in the sandbox where I didn't need anything else.
And in that moment, I could create anything I wanted.
So creative freedom to me is, unfortunately, is financial freedom. So I need to find that.
(34:56):
Be able to wake up in the morning and be like yo i had this
idea i want to do it i want to make a
new type of cookie that's like oatmeal pie and
apples and wine and we use apples instead of chocolate chips
like to have that freedom to be like i'm gonna pursue
this creative idea that's what i want in creative freedom not having
being able to live off my creative ideas that
(35:19):
are my ideas and not somebody else watering it down to
make it fit to what they want and that's the
the current dream i'm chasing and going to achieve period
as long as i'm afforded okay we kind of touched on
this but what does depression look like
for you as an artist or what did it look like for you i am oh that's great i'm
(35:40):
probably into i'm probably depressed right now okay honestly but it's a weird
type of depression for me right now because it's i'm having a hard time creating
i just don't feel like creating what is that what why what do you what's your block do you feel.
It's and this is what i think a lot of artists go through
you see the light at the end of the tunnel like i see the light i know i'm getting
(36:02):
closer to really get into what i want to do in my life and it's having the discipline
to just keep the head down don't just get so hot up in the light because we're
not out of the tunnel yet i'm in that moment where i see the light,
and i have to continuously put the same work and effort into it in order to
get the final goal because like I said, I see me having like these grand art shows.
(36:25):
I see myself doing these cool fashion collabs and it is happening.
Like I have a lot of things coming up for me, but it's not fully there yet.
It's almost like, I think the life end of the tunnel is a lie.
There is no end of the tunnel.
There is no damn end of the tunnel. Because you can keep going.
Yeah. It's the beauty of being a creator. Yes.
Is that like you said, once you hit freedom, like right now I would say in my life,
(36:49):
i have hit a i don't want to say a plateau but i i got out of depression to
a point wow i have my own company it's surreal for two years my company has sustained itself.
I don't have to work for anyone. I get to work with creatives. Yeah.
I get to start doing my little podcast at night. Yeah. Can be different.
Not little, big podcasts, big podcasts, big energy.
(37:13):
And so, okay. I hit this thing that I always thought this is where I want to get to.
Nowhere near where I want to keep going. You know what I'm saying? And it's almost that.
So my question is instead of you thinking you're in your depression error,
would you say you're just maybe not depression and because you're doing the
work and you're still doing that.
(37:33):
So would it be more of a feeling of burnout versus depression?
Make sure of both. I would say that, yeah. I think, for example, you said plateau.
I'm currently at a plateau. Okay. And I'm just trying to get through it.
Like, I'm not going to lie. I don't want to talk to you. I am such a happy person. I really am.
And I love when I'm in this situation, I love talking. But like,
(37:53):
once I leave here, bro, I'm going to go home, sit on the couch,
maybe draw and do the little things, but just be a loner. Which creatives need that.
But yeah, I just need this plateau moment to kind of regather my thoughts and
build the next big thing. Well, and that's what it is.
My Taurus moon understands your loneliness because I think that right now it
(38:16):
feels like you're in a re-energizing for yourself to be able to shed that skin,
to be able to step into this next version of creative vice.
Are you able to how are you able to pull yourself out of that mindset now you
know you're saying like right now i'm in this thing i'm you know but i feel
like you're talking about it like it's this,
(38:38):
shame not shameful but like this this thing like on see i'm happy now but when
i go home i'm going to do this that sounds very normal to me that sounds like
a good way to keep your protect your your peace and that energy.
What are some tools that you use now?
I know you said you do like sound baths, like mantras. What's a mantra that you have right now?
(38:59):
My mantra right now. Mantra, excuse me. Mantra, mantras. That's all good.
I understand what you're saying.
Bro, I'm this Thomas the Tank Engine. Is it Thomas the Tank Engine? I think I can.
It's not, it's not. What was that? I think I can. I think I can.
No, what was that with Damon Wayans? Choo, choo.
Basically, yeah. Okay. Like I said, and then also talking about it.
(39:23):
I'm openly like, yo, I am not my highest self.
Being able to acknowledge that I'm going through this is important.
If you're not openly talking about it to other people, it's not going to get any better.
So openly talking about what I'm currently going through. And then,
once again, being hungry for it.
As creatives, and to survive as a creative, you have to be hungry for it.
(39:46):
You have to eat the shit to get to the good meal.
And so therefore, I have to take every single hit in order to get to the big
picture. And I understand that.
And that's why I'm able to keep going. Because I'm like, I am willing to do it.
Because I'd rather eat my own shit than eat somebody else's shit and eat their
shit for the rest of their life. At least I know it's in my shit.
(40:07):
So it's like I'm working towards that every day. And I'm okay with going through
these sad moments or tough moments.
Because I know the happy moment is coming after. How do you celebrate yourself?
Oh, celebrating myself has been very tough. I have not celebrated myself until last year.
I feel like it doesn't feel like a win ever. Like I do a gallery show.
(40:30):
When I do a gallery show, I feel so depleted, man.
Like it's, I just spent what, two, three hours talking to every single person
because I want, I'm about connection.
So I don't want to just go to a gallery show and just be like,
Hey, thanks for coming. And not try to talk to every single person.
So for me, it's just like constantly just moving forward with that.
(40:51):
And just like, I don't know how to explain it. Have you always been open with
expressing your emotions and being comfortable with your emotions?
Was that something that military kind of like broke you out of? Okay.
So I have my boxed emotion series and my boxed emotion series is literally me
my whole entire life until heart.
(41:11):
I didn't share my thoughts and feelings for the longest time because specifically,
I remember in high school, I got hurt in this jock was this like, stop complaining.
You sound like a little bitch. And he was because I was saying I was hurt and
I was just saying what's going on.
And then him saying that changed my life. I shut the fuck up.
(41:32):
I wouldn't say anything.
I wouldn't tell people what I was going through. I would just keep it inside.
So when I create my box of emotions, it's basically a marble piece.
And the center just shows black and white emotions.
And when you keep that inside internally, it becomes this crazy chaotic thing.
And so that's why I create a box of emotions. And that represents me always
(41:56):
keeping emotions aside.
And it wasn't so art. and then working at Aloe, like designing at Aloe,
man, like I got a lot into like the health and wellness space because Aloe is about that.
So that's where I learned about sound baths. That's where I learned about just
meditations, breath work and all that stuff.
So that really opened up my mind to actually go into therapy.
So I found a therapist. And so I finally learned to let go.
(42:19):
And I've started to celebrate more. Like this year, I'm going to like Tokyo, Puerto Rico, Italy.
Like I'm trying to really celebrate life.
And every win is a win. But just realize there's more wins to get. Right.
What would you say is your biggest hurdle as a creative?
(42:40):
Biggest hurdle as a creative? Mentally. Myself. Okay.
I mean, yourself is the biggest hurdle. Because once again, yourself is the
one that's going to stop you from doing your creativity.
Only people can say things to you. But in the end, you're the one that stops
the creativity. You're the one that overthinks.
You're the one that technically I really feel like you're the only one that
(43:01):
can stop you from being great.
What about business industry wise? What's been your biggest? Biggest? Money.
Let's be real. Money is a big issue. like i want to make jewelry one day i'm
working on jewelry brand called alter ego and that takes capital but it's i
think also with being creative you have to learn to be creative in what you
(43:21):
do so when i first started painting canvases are expensive but you know the best thing about la,
there's a lot of people that live here go on the street there's
doors there's tvs there's
chairs there's tables all that stuff
is canvas and take that and create i
would go to ross and buy those $30 big art pieces
(43:43):
paint those white and then put my art
on top of it so it's money can be an issue but
money is really you that stops you yeah go to goodwill all
that goodwill man take some damn berries okay
mush them up and paint them on your clothes at least that's
something besides so what's next
for you where are we right now i know
we're fit where are we finishing inner demon the inner demon
(44:06):
world are we in are we mid inner demon what's next
for you artistically like drawing and creative and then and then fashion wise
what's going on cool so to be honest inner demons is the very beginning for
me right now okay like i just gave you one today obsessed thank you no and i
love it too because it said it said i have enough and you said that earlier
(44:26):
that you had that power or you realize you are enough.
But Inner Demons is just starting off for me. I haven't really released to anybody.
I haven't sold any pieces. Anytime somebody gets it, it's just because I connect
with them and I give it to them. But outside of that, I haven't really shared it.
Goals are, so I work with like a little coffee shop. I have this coffee shop
(44:46):
I go to called Flower Boy.
My goal is to actually like do like a little collaboration with them,
like pay like off the coffee cups. And then you can buy like flowers, coffee, and art.
Also, side note, I want to bring you to this conversation.
The street for me oh it's my favorite coffee shop in
la it is i called whale something i don't
even know but i go there every morning they have matcha i drink matcha i
(45:09):
don't drink coffee they have everything but they make
their own little pastries oh they make their own teas they make everything is
sourced naturally locally you would be a whole vibe with them it's called moby
dicks that's what it's called oh moby dicks i think i think they have another
one too down by venice area but yo See,
(45:30):
I'm down for that because I think that's what people are also not realizing.
Another hurdle is that if you're not connecting with your people,
if you're not making your pastries, like for me, when I make my art pieces,
you're supposed to protect your art. So I wrap my art.
And when I wrap my art, I put art on top of the art. It's just like the little detail that you make.
(45:51):
Everything I do as an artist is to be connected with somebody.
I don't make art prints. Like I'd probably be doing better off if I just took
pictures of my art, printed it out and sold it.
But I can't do that. It's not connection.
And I think that's what makes me special. And I want all other artists to kind
of focus on that too. Because like the whole point of making art is to connect with somebody.
(46:13):
So do it. No, because I'm going to be honest with you. Like holding the piece
you gave me in my hand and looking at it and knowing that.
Because I have in the past. You know, again, I told you Marshalls Ross and stay in there.
You find like a cool print of something and
it's like the print's cool and then you go see it at someone else's house you're
like okay and you're not gonna let me get rid of this i know you know exactly
(46:36):
i painted on one of those before i painted on an elephant before so then then
to see and honestly it was hard to pick out of the three you showed me but it
was like this one was so unique and it just spoke to me and i was like oh my
god i'm gonna get rid of this i'm gonna get rid of this.
But then to hold it in your hand and it's
like this thing that was a
paper that you it you can see the
(46:57):
texture on it like it makes it it's a finger print yeah you know and i think
that that is in a day and age and it's oh i didn't even smoke in a day and age
where we get to this world of ai art what's your whole like just kind of jump
into that with your mindset of what you think Because I see people,
I see artists using it and I see people using it in creative ways.
(47:22):
I also see a lot of people very upset, like Nicki Minaj. She dropped her album
and she used AI to promote it, which is innovative because we haven't seen an
artist. I haven't seen artists do that.
It did well marketing wise as a someone who doesn't do with the prints and all that stuff.
Like, how does AI art make you feel? What's your mindset in this world of AI?
(47:45):
I mean, no offense, but if you're not using AI, you're behind.
It's kind of like computers. You got to realize there's always something that's
going to replace you in what things you do.
For example, if you were a farmer back in the day and you were hoeing the freaking
ground, they created tractors. That took somebody's job.
(48:05):
You know what I mean? The person who learned how to ride the tractor then became more powerful.
So AI is that same exact tool to help you as an artist become more creative
and powerful. I love AI too because...
Has no judgment i can write to it and be like i have an idea to take this cuff
and paint it red and ai is not gonna be like that's a dumb idea right solo cup
(48:29):
does that ai is gonna be like well.
Do this isn't this and maybe it might work ai to me is just like a smarter you
that you can actually talk to and not worry about being judged and create some
beautiful things i think see it's It's funny because you say smarter you,
I would actually, I don't want to say smarter you because it's like,
(48:50):
it can't work without you. Correct.
So it's almost like that inner, like an inner voice that you can kind of back up.
Yes. You know, because that's my big thing with AI and all this and people saying,
we're going to lose our jobs.
It's like, well, if you learn how to control it, if you learn how to use it,
like I 38 years old and I just started going back to school to learn UX design,
(49:12):
you know, because I understand.
Of stand like it's like okay this is a tool that
i can be using for my company to be
able to you know grow yeah
and you're right it's not smart i would say it's it's a you that has knowledge
that you don't necessarily have right it's a you that's going it's you that
has no judgment and is willing to help you do what you want to do and as a creative
(49:37):
an artist i think it's up to you to To use that tool, once again, tool,
not an end-all, be-all product, but use that tool to help you create the things you want to do.
Because in a sense, low-key, a lot of things are gatekeepers.
Yeah. AI is a key to unlock that gate.
Because if you are hungry enough and you want to learn, you can work with it to figure out things.
(50:01):
And that's what AI should be used for. Like I said, I don't think,
once again, I understand people are saying it's going to take people's jobs.
Going to take your job if you don't know how to use it right and once again it's
and actually someone else is going to take your job and use it because they
learned how to do it exactly and it's like i can put in something in ai and
you can put something in ai and we're still getting something different learning
(50:22):
to how to use the prompts learning to think about what to say to ai is really
going to help you grow and one of the things i learned recently too like chat gpt.
Is honestly, if you have one single idea,
use ChatGPT for that one idea only. You know you can open up a new chat? Yeah.
Don't open up a new chat. For example, my jewelry brand, Alter Ego, I have one chat for it.
(50:45):
And it stores that data over time. And now it knows exactly the different variations,
the different stories I went through.
And it knows my brand DNA.
And now it's helping me start my business plan, which I didn't know how to do before.
Like I can now accomplish things more without
getting help from others or being worried about being judged from others
(51:06):
thanks to AI and AI is really a tool to
empower you but once again it's learning how to use it and just not not using
it for an answer like if I'm writing an email to somebody I write what I want
to answer from it you know I mean have a communication with it until you get
the right thing right don't just instantly like put this in and be like oh done yeah I like,
(51:28):
I have been really dabbling in the world of mid-journey and seeing the difference
between what mid-journey is going to give me versus what chat is going to give me.
Even Canva, because they have their own little thing that you can do.
And I'm like, what are the three different versions?
Who's going to give me what based off the same prompt? I think that's so interesting, too.
(51:49):
Fashion though. So where are we now with fashion? And what kind of,
because you went to school for fashion.
What was the pause with it? Where are you now with it? Okay.
So fashion for me, it's been six years since I started fashion.
I went to school at 27.
So I always feel like there's no, you can change your life anytime, point in life.
(52:11):
So going to school at 27, I knew what I wanted to do.
So when I was at school, I had my little presentation called Six, Speak Into Existence.
And a teacher saw it, let me present to somebody else.
And then that's how I got my first job at Alloyoga. Wow. And I was designing that for five years.
I just recently left Outlook to work at a new company called Cuts,
(52:33):
and I'm designing there.
But outside of that, I'm still growing my own fashion brand.
Like I make a couple other pieces personally.
I'm looking to paint on clothes, continue that art, and make it more connective.
And then, I mean, I need to get over my fear.
Of what? Not succeeding in fashion.
But you're already succeeding in every other avenue. So this is just another
(52:57):
creative avenue. It's just always the weird feeling of failing for your own self.
Like you can do it for everybody else, but doing it for something about doing it for yourself.
You never put the same. It's like you don't want to let somebody else down.
So you work harder for them.
You got to get over that. You got to get over that and not let your damn self down.
Yeah. But like mentally, those mental blocks, that fear, that doubt.
(53:20):
And it's so funny because, again, like going back to COVID, I was working at
that company and everyone at that company was like, Jesse Humero.
Like they're not paying you enough for all the
work you do you stay in after time you're doing all these things
i wanted to impress this guy because he had all this money
and he had this company and it was successful i'm like oh if he sees me this
(53:41):
is me and it's like oh if i work extra hours if i don't take my vacation time
if i don't take my sick time my boss will notice me and get me right no no and
i said to myself they they fucked one project up over for me and i was I was like,
I'm doing this for you and you taking my whole day off. But I can get through the work so quickly.
If I just find five people who need me to edit a video. Yeah.
(54:06):
Now I'm going to pay like five different people and I stuck, bro.
You just, I know you already know to just do it. So it's not even like, Hey, let me inspire you.
No, you are. You are. But it was, that was a lesson that I really,
you know, I think sometimes society puts it. We watch TV, but people going to
work, oh, the movie's about this guy at work.
(54:27):
And so we think we have to go to work and we have to, a family has to be this
and life has to be like that. And it's like, no, you can literally be whatever you want.
I think for me, I don't want to, I'm not one to ask people for things.
You know what I mean? Like in creating your own fashion brand,
you have to put it out there and be like, hey, will you buy this? Right.
The answer is yes. Yeah. Thank you. Yes. I do. Like I saw your socks. I'm like.
(54:52):
Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, I just have, I am working on getting past that.
I'm actually working on a brand
with my, one of my best friends called Fiber Party Label on the side.
We're working on building that up again and really becoming our own masters of our own stuff.
It's just getting it to that point, which takes capital, but there's other ways
(55:12):
to get around that. It's just learning exactly what that is.
And thanks to chat, GBT, you know, it's helping us build a business plan to
probably gain capital to actually start the project.
Okay. Love it. Do you have any tips for artists who are talented enough to step
away from a nine to five to go full time?
I think best tip would be kind of have a plan. I mean, you do have to have a
(55:38):
plan to leave, have an exit plan.
Don't just jump into this leaving, but create that plan of what to do to leave
and then what you're going to do.
Sustain your life that you want to live. And you have to, once again,
also realize it's going to get rough.
And you have to have that ability to continue to push on.
(56:00):
Because if you're the type of person that as soon as you feel some type of friction,
leaving your full-time job is not going to be okay.
You have to literally sit in discomfort.
Yes. You have to get broken in a way and be like, how am I going to pay my next,
I'm going to have to eat hot dogs because they're cheaper than I have to eat
McDonald's or something. You have to be willing to go through that moment and
(56:23):
then also be smart and save later down the road.
You have to put yourself out there. You have to put yourself out there.
Once again, being a creator, you can't just be talented.
You have to be able to talk. You have to be able to communicate.
You have to be able to network with other people in order to make it.
Because once people aren't buying your art, they're buying your story about the art and you.
(56:44):
Well, I just want to thank you for sharing your story. Thank you. in coming year.
And again, I can't wait till we got, when you have the show,
I want to come down and have a film name. I want to do segments.
Maybe you can help me. I'm working on my biggest art show I want to do.
It's called Flee. It's about immigration.
The whole purpose is to tell the story of immigrants on why they would leave
(57:08):
their homes to come to America.
Like, I can't picture myself leaving everything I have here and just traveling
on foot through, you know, treacherous things or whatnot, just to be in America
where you probably are to get like judge no matter what.
And then like, you know, it just doesn't seem right. So like.
(57:29):
Basically, I want to create art that way. So in the border, I want to take trash
and then create sculptures of stories of what we're leaving.
So in Nicaragua, they take boats. I want to create a boat out of the trash that's
left behind to showcase what they're going through. I love it. It's obsessed.
And it's funny that you said that because you just talked about earlier,
(57:50):
why would someone get up and leave from where they're at?
Where then you sat with me, you told me, I want to get up and leave from here
and live somewhere else.
To live a better life yeah so it's
funny like it's like the i would say grass is green on
the other side or it's perspective too you
know we again we have a mutual friend and i watch his life every day overseas
(58:11):
and i'm like yeah what am i doing like these look so laid back when i went to
greece and they when i tell you four o'clock comes around and you sit mind you
i'm sitting at a restaurant i've already ordered they brought the food oh and
it was like then four o'clock hit and And then you're like, well,
and then all of a sudden it's like five, five 30. Like, okay, where's my waiter?
(58:32):
Then, oh, everyone went home for a siesta. What did, what?
It's just like, I can just get up and walk away. Like no one was chirping about
nothing. Like, yeah, the siesta was in the middle of their shit.
They were like, oh, we're going to take a nap. Hi. Oh, well. We need that.
And I'm like, and who was like, I want to live in a man. And I'm like, absolutely not.
And then you struggle. Work nine to five and then work at six to 10.
(58:55):
You know what I mean? Have a job after a job.
That's the American life. But again, thank you for coming through.
Where can everyone follow you, keep in contact, continue to watch this journey? For sure.
So everything's at creativevice on Instagram. And then my website is www.creativevice.co.
Period. Period, period. Thank you, man.
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