July 17, 2024 • 12 mins
E10: One Strategy for Parents to Recharge and Learn at the Same Time!
In this episode of the Parents Guide to Advocacy, host Ashley Hinkle discusses the importance of taking time to recharge as a parent and highlights one effective strategy: attending conferences. Ashley shares her personal experiences attending the Apraxia Kids National Conference, the benefits of connecting with others who understand similar challenges, and the invaluable insights gained from these interactions. The episode emphasizes the impact of personal growth on parenting, the significance of community support, and practical tips for balancing the demands of parenting neurodivergent children with self-care and professional development.
00:00 Introduction 00:50 Dealing with Burnout 01:35 Personal Experience at the Apraxia Kids National Conference 03:00 Connecting with Others Facing Similar Challenges 06:53 Community Support is Crucial 09:53 Final Thoughts and Encouragement 10:35 Call to Action
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Welcome to the Parents Guide to Advocacy.
I'm your host, Ashley Hinkle.
My mission is to equip, empower, and support parents to become fierce advocates for their children's unique educational needs.
Our goal as a community is to be resourced and resilient parents continually growing to be the safe place our children need.
(00:24):
We will navigate the challenges of raising neurodivergent kids, highlight the joyful moments, and celebrate the successes our families experience when we see the spark in our children's eyes from learning something new.
If ending the feelings of overwhelm, guilt, and frustration to embrace courage, perseverance, and empowerment, Sounds good to you? Then let's go. 7 00:00:50,285.714285714 --> 00:00:51,35.714285714 Hey friend. 8 00:00:51,635.714285714 --> 00:00:52,835.714285714 I'm not sure about you. 9 00:00:53,345.714285714 --> 00:00:56,525.714285714 But I get into seasons where I just feel 100% burned out. 10 00:00:57,275.714285714 --> 00:01:00,95.714285714 Our family and I'm sure many of you can relate. 11 00:01:00,665.714285714 --> 00:01:03,365.714285714 Is juggling intensive educational services. 12 00:01:03,725.714285714 --> 00:01:09,695.714285714 Play therapy visits, social calendars, and that doesn't include school work in the adults therapy schedules. 13 00:01:10,85.714285714 --> 00:01:12,335.714285714 Sometimes I wish life would slow down. 14 00:01:13,55.714285714 --> 00:01:15,125.714285714 Maybe then it would be easier to be present. 15 00:01:15,965.714285714 --> 00:01:18,575.714285714 And reorient my perspective to what truly matters. 16 00:01:19,535.714285714 --> 00:01:22,25.714285714 But I'm learning that carving small amounts of personal time. 17 00:01:22,505.714285714 --> 00:01:27,5.714285714 To relax, learn and focus on personal growth can be possible. 18 00:01:27,485.714285714 --> 00:01:28,955.714285714 Even in chaotic seasons. 19 00:01:29,825.714285714 --> 00:01:32,315.714285714 I've had to get creative with our plans and ask for help. 20 00:01:32,975.714285714 --> 00:01:34,955.714285714 Both are things that I'm currently working on. 21 00:01:35,975.714285714 --> 00:01:44,975.71428571 I took a big step this week and letting go of my usual responsibilities for 48 hours and attending the apraxia kids national conference in Pittsburgh. 22 00:01:45,575.71428571 --> 00:01:47,825.71428571 It was my first time staying in a hotel alone. 23 00:01:48,305.71428571 --> 00:01:50,915.71428571 And I was feeling lonely and scared without my tribe. 24 00:01:51,905.71428571 --> 00:01:54,245.71428571 Even though my kids were driving me a little bit crazy. 25 00:01:54,695.71428571 --> 00:01:57,5.71428571 I started missing them before I backed out of the driveway. 26 00:01:57,615.71428571 --> 00:02:01,125.71428571 Several times I wanted to turn the car around and go back home. 27 00:02:01,995.71428571 --> 00:02:03,945.71428571 But I knew deep down I needed this. 28 00:02:04,425.71428571 --> 00:02:07,335.71428571 I needed it for me to face uncertainty and fear. 29 00:02:08,145.71428571 --> 00:02:11,325.71428571 My kids needed it to learn that they are safe with other people. 30 00:02:11,685.71428571 --> 00:02:13,395.71428571 And that mom will always come back. 31 00:02:14,115.71428571 --> 00:02:16,5.71428571 The separation anxiety was real though. 32 00:02:16,695.71428571 --> 00:02:19,245.71428571 I called my husband and told him I can't sleep. 33 00:02:19,335.71428571 --> 00:02:21,435.71428571 I feel like a homesick kid at summer camp. 34 00:02:22,335.71428571 --> 00:02:23,895.71428571 I did eventually sleep though. 35 00:02:25,275.71428571 --> 00:02:30,765.71428571 And even though the distance was difficult, traveling on my own to speak at a Praxia kids. 36 00:02:31,45.71428571 --> 00:02:34,975.71428571 Helped build my confidence and remembering that I can do hard things. 37 00:02:35,725.71428571 --> 00:02:39,445.71428571 It also showed me that there's one strategy that allows parents to recharge. 38 00:02:39,835.71428571 --> 00:02:41,215.71428571 And learn at the same time. 39 00:02:41,785.71428571 --> 00:02:45,715.71428571 And that is attending a conference based on your child's neurodivergence. 40 00:02:46,315.71428571 --> 00:02:48,205.71428571 A professional conference in your field. 41 00:02:48,205.71428571 --> 00:02:53,245.71428571 I may check a similar box, but there's something about connecting with other parents. 42 00:02:53,575.71428571 --> 00:02:57,775.71428571 Educators and service providers related to a loved one's wiring. 43 00:02:58,45.71428571 --> 00:02:59,365.71428571 That is really refreshing. 44 00:03:00,645.71428571 --> 00:03:03,945.71428571 You are connecting with people facing similar struggles and successes. 45 00:03:04,725.71428571 --> 00:03:07,335.71428571 These people may be farther along in the journey than you are. 46 00:03:07,875.71428571 --> 00:03:14,235.71428571 So they may share information with you that helps you feel more equipped to handle the unique circumstances you're facing. 47 00:03:14,895.71428571 --> 00:03:16,35.71428571 The added bonuses. 48 00:03:16,395.71428571 --> 00:03:17,805.71428571 That you realize you aren't alone. 49 00:03:18,225.71428571 --> 00:03:18,735.71428571 Your family. 50 00:03:18,735.71428571 --> 00:03:23,725.71428571 Isn't the only one experiencing a version of raising differently, wired children or having. 51 00:03:23,725.71428571 --> 00:03:25,45.71428571 A differently wired partner. 52 00:03:25,955.71428571 --> 00:03:34,55.71428571 At the apraxia kids conference, I felt recharged and I learned new strategies to use with my family after talking to a husband and wife team. 53 00:03:34,505.71428571 --> 00:03:37,85.71428571 Presenting on screen for you therapy for kids. 54 00:03:37,355.71428571 --> 00:03:39,5.71428571 With childhood apraxia of speech. 55 00:03:40,25.71428571 --> 00:03:40,685.71428571 As you all know. 56 00:03:40,955.71428571 --> 00:03:42,425.71428571 My son has CAS. 57 00:03:42,905.71428571 --> 00:03:47,135.71428571 In six months ago, we received a diagnosis of autism and ADHD. 58 00:03:48,425.71428571 --> 00:03:49,385.71428571 Around the same time. 59 00:03:49,835.71428571 --> 00:03:51,905.71428571 My husband received the same diagnosis. 60 00:03:53,225.71428571 --> 00:03:55,955.71428571 I went into connect with another couple in a similar situation. 61 00:03:56,285.71428571 --> 00:03:59,285.71428571 But I've not found anyone living in similar circumstances. 62 00:04:00,5.71428571 --> 00:04:02,915.71428571 Meeting another wife that is raising children with extra needs. 63 00:04:03,305.71428571 --> 00:04:06,155.71428571 And has learned how to communicate better with her husband. 64 00:04:06,545.71428571 --> 00:04:07,385.71428571 With ASD. 65 00:04:07,415.71428571 --> 00:04:09,125.71428571 I was like a breath of fresh year. 66 00:04:09,695.71428571 --> 00:04:11,975.71428571 Finally someone who understands. 67 00:04:13,145.71428571 --> 00:04:20,885.71428571 Hearing her husband's input on navigating family life was also really insightful and helpful when I reflected on how I communicate with my husband. 68 00:04:21,485.71428571 --> 00:04:28,955.71428571 Just her saying when emotions rise, wait 24 hours before talking about it, it will help decrease the defensiveness. 69 00:04:29,675.71428571 --> 00:04:31,175.71428571 That resonated so deeply. 70 00:04:31,835.71428571 --> 00:04:34,985.71428571 There's a lot of defensiveness in my house and it can be overwhelming. 71 00:04:35,645.71428571 --> 00:04:37,25.71428571 I've been waiting before talking. 72 00:04:37,595.71428571 --> 00:04:40,325.71428571 About different things, but definitely not 24 hours. 73 00:04:40,835.71428571 --> 00:04:44,285.71428571 That tip was specific and from someone who knows what works. 74 00:04:45,395.71428571 --> 00:04:46,895.71428571 They even transparently shared. 75 00:04:47,285.71428571 --> 00:04:49,895.71428571 How ASD can be difficult on marriages. 76 00:04:50,555.71428571 --> 00:04:54,515.71428571 Being able to speak freely with others that can offer support was like a lifeline. 77 00:04:55,55.71428571 --> 00:04:58,115.71428571 They shared their contact information and told me to contact them. 78 00:04:58,475.71428571 --> 00:05:00,455.71428571 And pass their info onto my husband too. 79 00:05:01,445.71428571 --> 00:05:05,765.71428571 I felt so hopeful about my family's situation after connecting with that couple. 80 00:05:06,735.71428571 --> 00:05:09,615.71428571 I'm realizing that people at neurodivergent affirming conferences. 81 00:05:10,5.71428571 --> 00:05:12,45.71428571 Are eager to learn and help others. 82 00:05:12,695.71428571 --> 00:05:16,265.71428571 They are passionate about their child and how they're uniquely wired. 83 00:05:16,775.71428571 --> 00:05:18,365.71428571 There is an instant camaderie. 84 00:05:18,665.71428571 --> 00:05:20,525.71428571 Once kids stories start being shared. 85 00:05:21,665.71428571 --> 00:05:27,35.71428571 You notice that there's a community of people around these challenges that you can become a part of. 86 00:05:28,445.71428571 --> 00:05:33,365.71428571 One conversation leads to another and parents advocates, speech therapists, teachers. 87 00:05:34,115.71428571 --> 00:05:35,255.71428571 Are all collaborating. 88 00:05:35,885.71428571 --> 00:05:43,355.71428571 Strategies for developing strong IDPs or shared how to advocate to insurance companies when to stop over-servicing your child. 89 00:05:43,715.71428571 --> 00:05:45,455.71428571 And how to support your child socially. 90 00:05:45,785.71428571 --> 00:05:49,355.71428571 We're just a few of the conversations that happened around conference tables. 91 00:05:50,265.71428571 --> 00:05:52,485.71428571 It's a reminder that the world is bigger than we think. 92 00:05:53,115.71428571 --> 00:05:59,205.71428571 Tunnel vision is easy in our small corner of life and traveling to a conference helps to regain perspective. 93 00:06:00,105.71428571 --> 00:06:01,485.71428571 Another interesting reminder. 94 00:06:01,875.71428571 --> 00:06:04,635.71428571 Is that there are always more resources than we know. 95 00:06:05,385.71428571 --> 00:06:09,525.71428571 Going to a conference and just listening to sessions and impromptu conversations. 96 00:06:09,975.71428571 --> 00:06:10,845.71428571 Around the tables. 97 00:06:10,875.71428571 --> 00:06:13,35.71428571 We'll leave you full of information. 98 00:06:13,965.71428571 --> 00:06:16,425.71428571 Once a few people in a parents advocacy session. 99 00:06:16,755.71428571 --> 00:06:20,55.71428571 Found out that I was a professional advocate, a small line formed. 100 00:06:20,805.71428571 --> 00:06:27,255.71428571 I was able to talk with them about their child's unique situation at school, how the school is handling it and how they could respond. 101 00:06:27,795.71428571 --> 00:06:31,635.71428571 We were having informal assessment in IEP conversations over lunch. 102 00:06:32,295.71428571 --> 00:06:36,75.71428571 It felt good to help someone else and see that is truly meaningful to them. 103 00:06:36,975.71428571 --> 00:06:38,655.71428571 I was able to trade contact info. 104 00:06:38,925.71428571 --> 00:06:42,135.71428571 With another advocate that happens to live in the same Metro areas. 105 00:06:42,135.71428571 --> 00:06:42,585.71428571 I do. 106 00:06:43,425.71428571 --> 00:06:47,985.71428571 One fun thing about conferences is that people are usually looking to connect in network. 107 00:06:48,435.71428571 --> 00:06:52,545.71428571 They also want to meet people who are like them, or it could help them in some way. 108 00:06:53,535.71428571 --> 00:06:57,705.71428571 After a fluxing on how refreshing connecting with others about similar passions was. 109 00:06:58,545.71428571 --> 00:07:05,875.71428571 I realized we could also get more involved with local organizations that build community for individuals and families experiencing neurodivergence. 110 00:07:06,295.71428571 --> 00:07:07,255.71428571 This is especially good. 111 00:07:07,255.71428571 --> 00:07:09,355.71428571 If you aren't able to travel right now. 112 00:07:10,555.71428571 --> 00:07:15,445.71428571 Some churches now have special education ministries with events like respite nights for parents. 113 00:07:15,835.71428571 --> 00:07:19,855.71428571 Small community groups, monthly dinners, and other social opportunities. 114 00:07:20,695.71428571 --> 00:07:25,675.71428571 We all need a supportive community around us, especially when we are leading families with extra needs. 115 00:07:26,575.71428571 --> 00:07:28,915.71428571 If there aren't any support groups or opportunities. 116 00:07:29,305.71428571 --> 00:07:31,315.71428571 For neurodivergent learners in your area. 117 00:07:31,675.71428571 --> 00:07:33,445.71428571 Try looking for online communities. 118 00:07:33,895.71428571 --> 00:07:35,815.71428571 This journey can be isolating at times. 119 00:07:36,265.71428571 --> 00:07:39,745.71428571 And it can be completely different with more teammates by your side. 120 00:07:40,895.71428571 --> 00:07:43,445.71428571 My family and I tried this path alone for way too long. 121 00:07:44,75.71428571 --> 00:07:47,345.71428571 COVID hit when Luke was 20 months old and we had a newborn. 122 00:07:48,185.71428571 --> 00:07:52,985.71428571 We were physically cut off from our social network for Uh, until we could get them vaccinated. 123 00:07:53,615.71428571 --> 00:07:54,395.71428571 Time passed. 124 00:07:54,815.71428571 --> 00:07:57,275.71428571 And we started to resume a semblance of a normal life. 125 00:07:58,25.71428571 --> 00:07:59,345.71428571 But about a year after that. 126 00:07:59,765.71428571 --> 00:08:02,615.71428571 We realized that we hadn't had any help with our kids. 127 00:08:03,5.71428571 --> 00:08:06,335.71428571 Except for the occasional visit from Grammy and almost five years. 128 00:08:07,25.71428571 --> 00:08:09,485.71428571 We also threw another sweet baby into the mix. 129 00:08:09,875.71428571 --> 00:08:11,75.71428571 We had gone it alone. 130 00:08:11,375.71428571 --> 00:08:14,45.71428571 And this just took a toll on our mental health and our marriage. 131 00:08:14,735.71428571 --> 00:08:18,935.71428571 I can zoom out now and see how I would have done so much differently in hindsight. 132 00:08:19,685.71428571 --> 00:08:22,835.71428571 These experiences grew us, whether we wanted it to happen that way or not. 133 00:08:23,975.71428571 --> 00:08:25,655.71428571 Problems just seem to be piling up. 134 00:08:26,195.71428571 --> 00:08:27,515.71428571 Surrounding me at every turn. 135 00:08:28,125.71428571 --> 00:08:36,795.71428571 Once I decided to grow, instead of having to know why in the midst of this difficult season, I was able to start recharging and actually retaining my learning. 136 00:08:37,905.71428571 --> 00:08:40,395.71428571 I had to make mental space to recharge and learn. 137 00:08:41,25.71428571 --> 00:08:44,415.71428571 My mind was too crowded to take on anything else for over a year. 138 00:08:45,305.71428571 --> 00:08:48,635.71428571 But the shift happened when I chose to grow in this dark place. 139 00:08:49,85.71428571 --> 00:08:52,25.71428571 Rather than spend any more time wondering why it was happening. 140 00:08:53,75.71428571 --> 00:08:54,425.71428571 Once I made space for growth. 141 00:08:54,605.71428571 --> 00:08:56,525.71428571 I researched autism and ADHD. 142 00:08:56,885.71428571 --> 00:08:59,555.71428571 And started noticing how it impacted my family uniquely. 143 00:09:00,395.71428571 --> 00:09:02,525.71428571 I also submitted an application to speak. 144 00:09:02,885.71428571 --> 00:09:05,255.71428571 At the apraxia kids conference and was accepted. 145 00:09:05,885.71428571 --> 00:09:09,305.71428571 So this conference I just returned from, I was actually a speaker at. 146 00:09:10,35.71428571 --> 00:09:13,125.71428571 These are things I couldn't have imagined doing two years ago. 147 00:09:13,875.71428571 --> 00:09:16,185.71428571 But everyone around me was challenging me to grow. 148 00:09:17,235.71428571 --> 00:09:20,625.71428571 Public speaking has been my worst fear from as early as I can remember. 149 00:09:21,255.71428571 --> 00:09:22,575.71428571 And in this season of growth. 150 00:09:23,415.71428571 --> 00:09:28,725.71428571 I noticed that some things like advocating for our kids are too important not to talk about. 151 00:09:29,565.71428571 --> 00:09:31,875.71428571 Even though trying new things can scare us to death. 152 00:09:32,385.71428571 --> 00:09:33,255.71428571 When we look back. 153 00:09:33,645.71428571 --> 00:09:35,685.71428571 It reminds us that we can do hard things. 154 00:09:36,735.71428571 --> 00:09:38,685.71428571 I don't know the details of your situation. 155 00:09:39,405.71428571 --> 00:09:43,635.71428571 I can't imagine how difficult, exhausting and overwhelming your journey is. 156 00:09:44,385.71428571 --> 00:09:46,185.71428571 But I know that you love your kid. 157 00:09:46,905.71428571 --> 00:09:52,365.71428571 I know because you're listening to this podcast, trying to figure out how to advocate for their needs. 158 00:09:53,985.71428571 --> 00:09:54,795.71428571 As we wrap up. 159 00:09:55,335.71428571 --> 00:10:00,285.71428571 I hope you're able to reflect and think about ways to take breaks with the goal of recharging. 160 00:10:00,945.71428571 --> 00:10:05,625.71428571 Then I hope you have resources that are helpful for your own style of learning. 161 00:10:06,105.71428571 --> 00:10:09,225.71428571 Whether it be podcasts, books, courses, or conferences. 162 00:10:10,65.71428571 --> 00:10:11,655.71428571 When we are knowledgeable and equipped. 163 00:10:12,45.71428571 --> 00:10:13,35.71428571 We are more resilient. 164 00:10:13,635.71428571 --> 00:10:14,955.71428571 As we become more resilient. 165 00:10:15,285.71428571 --> 00:10:17,295.71428571 We are better leaders for our families. 166 00:10:17,925.71428571 --> 00:10:24,825.71428571 Being committed to personal growth will improve our quality of life and will ultimately be a huge benefit for our kids. 167 00:10:25,575.71428571 --> 00:10:31,635.71428571 I also encourage you to find a supportive community to walk with you through this challenging and beautiful season of parenthood. 168 00:10:32,535.71428571 --> 00:10:33,825.71428571 Until next time, my friends. 169 00:10:34,635.71428571 --> 00:10:35,25.71428571 Ash. 170 00:10:36,975.04761905 --> 00:10:38,315.04761905 Hey there, before you go. 171 00:10:38,900.04761905 --> 00:10:41,150.04761905 Please go on iTunes and leave me a review. 172 00:10:41,790.04761905 --> 00:10:46,250.04761905 It will help more parents become resourced and resilient advocates for their children. 173 00:10:47,90.04761905 --> 00:10:58,860.04661905 Also, if you feel overwhelmed and unfamiliar with what services are available for your child and what to ask for in an IEP meeting, then visit my website, sparkeducationadvocacy. 174 00:10:59,750.04761905 --> 00:11:00,90.04761905 org. 175 00:11:00,880.04761905 --> 00:11:09,370.04761905 If you are ready to become your child's best advocate in IEP meetings and in social life experiences, I provide parent coaching. 176 00:11:09,790.04761905 --> 00:11:13,680.04761905 And IEP representation, both virtually and in person. 177 00:11:14,245.04761905 --> 00:11:22,965.04761905 I will help you break down the special education system and IEP documents in a relatable way so it's less complicated and more manageable. 178 00:11:23,795.04761905 --> 00:11:28,375.04761905 Together, we will defeat the inner voices of guilt, overwhelm, and frustration. 179 00:11:29,5.04761905 --> 00:11:37,195.04761905 You will be equipped with the knowledge and communication skills necessary to hold school staff accountable for meeting our children's educational needs. 180 00:11:38,245.04761905 --> 00:11:44,335.04761905 I'll also share the key questions and phrases I use in IEP meetings to get things done. 181 00:11:45,105.04761905 --> 00:11:53,165.04761905 If you're ready to take your seat as your child's expert at the IEP table, go to my website, ClarkEducationAdvocacy. 182 00:11:53,195.04761905 --> 00:11:55,745.04761905 org, and fill out the contact form.
Welcome to the Parents Guide to Advocacy.
I'm your host, Ashley Hinkle.
My mission is to equip, empower, and support parents to become fierce advocates for their children's unique educational needs.
Our goal as a community is to be resourced and resilient parents continually growing to be the safe place our children need.
(00:24):
We will navigate the challenges of raising neurodivergent kids, highlight the joyful moments, and celebrate the successes our families experience when we see the spark in our children's eyes from learning something new.
If ending the feelings of overwhelm, guilt, and frustration to embrace courage, perseverance, and empowerment, Sounds good to you? Then let's go. 7 00:00:50,285.714285714 --> 00:00:51,35.714285714 Hey friend. 8 00:00:51,635.714285714 --> 00:00:52,835.714285714 I'm not sure about you. 9 00:00:53,345.714285714 --> 00:00:56,525.714285714 But I get into seasons where I just feel 100% burned out. 10 00:00:57,275.714285714 --> 00:01:00,95.714285714 Our family and I'm sure many of you can relate. 11 00:01:00,665.714285714 --> 00:01:03,365.714285714 Is juggling intensive educational services. 12 00:01:03,725.714285714 --> 00:01:09,695.714285714 Play therapy visits, social calendars, and that doesn't include school work in the adults therapy schedules. 13 00:01:10,85.714285714 --> 00:01:12,335.714285714 Sometimes I wish life would slow down. 14 00:01:13,55.714285714 --> 00:01:15,125.714285714 Maybe then it would be easier to be present. 15 00:01:15,965.714285714 --> 00:01:18,575.714285714 And reorient my perspective to what truly matters. 16 00:01:19,535.714285714 --> 00:01:22,25.714285714 But I'm learning that carving small amounts of personal time. 17 00:01:22,505.714285714 --> 00:01:27,5.714285714 To relax, learn and focus on personal growth can be possible. 18 00:01:27,485.714285714 --> 00:01:28,955.714285714 Even in chaotic seasons. 19 00:01:29,825.714285714 --> 00:01:32,315.714285714 I've had to get creative with our plans and ask for help. 20 00:01:32,975.714285714 --> 00:01:34,955.714285714 Both are things that I'm currently working on. 21 00:01:35,975.714285714 --> 00:01:44,975.71428571 I took a big step this week and letting go of my usual responsibilities for 48 hours and attending the apraxia kids national conference in Pittsburgh. 22 00:01:45,575.71428571 --> 00:01:47,825.71428571 It was my first time staying in a hotel alone. 23 00:01:48,305.71428571 --> 00:01:50,915.71428571 And I was feeling lonely and scared without my tribe. 24 00:01:51,905.71428571 --> 00:01:54,245.71428571 Even though my kids were driving me a little bit crazy. 25 00:01:54,695.71428571 --> 00:01:57,5.71428571 I started missing them before I backed out of the driveway. 26 00:01:57,615.71428571 --> 00:02:01,125.71428571 Several times I wanted to turn the car around and go back home. 27 00:02:01,995.71428571 --> 00:02:03,945.71428571 But I knew deep down I needed this. 28 00:02:04,425.71428571 --> 00:02:07,335.71428571 I needed it for me to face uncertainty and fear. 29 00:02:08,145.71428571 --> 00:02:11,325.71428571 My kids needed it to learn that they are safe with other people. 30 00:02:11,685.71428571 --> 00:02:13,395.71428571 And that mom will always come back. 31 00:02:14,115.71428571 --> 00:02:16,5.71428571 The separation anxiety was real though. 32 00:02:16,695.71428571 --> 00:02:19,245.71428571 I called my husband and told him I can't sleep. 33 00:02:19,335.71428571 --> 00:02:21,435.71428571 I feel like a homesick kid at summer camp. 34 00:02:22,335.71428571 --> 00:02:23,895.71428571 I did eventually sleep though. 35 00:02:25,275.71428571 --> 00:02:30,765.71428571 And even though the distance was difficult, traveling on my own to speak at a Praxia kids. 36 00:02:31,45.71428571 --> 00:02:34,975.71428571 Helped build my confidence and remembering that I can do hard things. 37 00:02:35,725.71428571 --> 00:02:39,445.71428571 It also showed me that there's one strategy that allows parents to recharge. 38 00:02:39,835.71428571 --> 00:02:41,215.71428571 And learn at the same time. 39 00:02:41,785.71428571 --> 00:02:45,715.71428571 And that is attending a conference based on your child's neurodivergence. 40 00:02:46,315.71428571 --> 00:02:48,205.71428571 A professional conference in your field. 41 00:02:48,205.71428571 --> 00:02:53,245.71428571 I may check a similar box, but there's something about connecting with other parents. 42 00:02:53,575.71428571 --> 00:02:57,775.71428571 Educators and service providers related to a loved one's wiring. 43 00:02:58,45.71428571 --> 00:02:59,365.71428571 That is really refreshing. 44 00:03:00,645.71428571 --> 00:03:03,945.71428571 You are connecting with people facing similar struggles and successes. 45 00:03:04,725.71428571 --> 00:03:07,335.71428571 These people may be farther along in the journey than you are. 46 00:03:07,875.71428571 --> 00:03:14,235.71428571 So they may share information with you that helps you feel more equipped to handle the unique circumstances you're facing. 47 00:03:14,895.71428571 --> 00:03:16,35.71428571 The added bonuses. 48 00:03:16,395.71428571 --> 00:03:17,805.71428571 That you realize you aren't alone. 49 00:03:18,225.71428571 --> 00:03:18,735.71428571 Your family. 50 00:03:18,735.71428571 --> 00:03:23,725.71428571 Isn't the only one experiencing a version of raising differently, wired children or having. 51 00:03:23,725.71428571 --> 00:03:25,45.71428571 A differently wired partner. 52 00:03:25,955.71428571 --> 00:03:34,55.71428571 At the apraxia kids conference, I felt recharged and I learned new strategies to use with my family after talking to a husband and wife team. 53 00:03:34,505.71428571 --> 00:03:37,85.71428571 Presenting on screen for you therapy for kids. 54 00:03:37,355.71428571 --> 00:03:39,5.71428571 With childhood apraxia of speech. 55 00:03:40,25.71428571 --> 00:03:40,685.71428571 As you all know. 56 00:03:40,955.71428571 --> 00:03:42,425.71428571 My son has CAS. 57 00:03:42,905.71428571 --> 00:03:47,135.71428571 In six months ago, we received a diagnosis of autism and ADHD. 58 00:03:48,425.71428571 --> 00:03:49,385.71428571 Around the same time. 59 00:03:49,835.71428571 --> 00:03:51,905.71428571 My husband received the same diagnosis. 60 00:03:53,225.71428571 --> 00:03:55,955.71428571 I went into connect with another couple in a similar situation. 61 00:03:56,285.71428571 --> 00:03:59,285.71428571 But I've not found anyone living in similar circumstances. 62 00:04:00,5.71428571 --> 00:04:02,915.71428571 Meeting another wife that is raising children with extra needs. 63 00:04:03,305.71428571 --> 00:04:06,155.71428571 And has learned how to communicate better with her husband. 64 00:04:06,545.71428571 --> 00:04:07,385.71428571 With ASD. 65 00:04:07,415.71428571 --> 00:04:09,125.71428571 I was like a breath of fresh year. 66 00:04:09,695.71428571 --> 00:04:11,975.71428571 Finally someone who understands. 67 00:04:13,145.71428571 --> 00:04:20,885.71428571 Hearing her husband's input on navigating family life was also really insightful and helpful when I reflected on how I communicate with my husband. 68 00:04:21,485.71428571 --> 00:04:28,955.71428571 Just her saying when emotions rise, wait 24 hours before talking about it, it will help decrease the defensiveness. 69 00:04:29,675.71428571 --> 00:04:31,175.71428571 That resonated so deeply. 70 00:04:31,835.71428571 --> 00:04:34,985.71428571 There's a lot of defensiveness in my house and it can be overwhelming. 71 00:04:35,645.71428571 --> 00:04:37,25.71428571 I've been waiting before talking. 72 00:04:37,595.71428571 --> 00:04:40,325.71428571 About different things, but definitely not 24 hours. 73 00:04:40,835.71428571 --> 00:04:44,285.71428571 That tip was specific and from someone who knows what works. 74 00:04:45,395.71428571 --> 00:04:46,895.71428571 They even transparently shared. 75 00:04:47,285.71428571 --> 00:04:49,895.71428571 How ASD can be difficult on marriages. 76 00:04:50,555.71428571 --> 00:04:54,515.71428571 Being able to speak freely with others that can offer support was like a lifeline. 77 00:04:55,55.71428571 --> 00:04:58,115.71428571 They shared their contact information and told me to contact them. 78 00:04:58,475.71428571 --> 00:05:00,455.71428571 And pass their info onto my husband too. 79 00:05:01,445.71428571 --> 00:05:05,765.71428571 I felt so hopeful about my family's situation after connecting with that couple. 80 00:05:06,735.71428571 --> 00:05:09,615.71428571 I'm realizing that people at neurodivergent affirming conferences. 81 00:05:10,5.71428571 --> 00:05:12,45.71428571 Are eager to learn and help others. 82 00:05:12,695.71428571 --> 00:05:16,265.71428571 They are passionate about their child and how they're uniquely wired. 83 00:05:16,775.71428571 --> 00:05:18,365.71428571 There is an instant camaderie. 84 00:05:18,665.71428571 --> 00:05:20,525.71428571 Once kids stories start being shared. 85 00:05:21,665.71428571 --> 00:05:27,35.71428571 You notice that there's a community of people around these challenges that you can become a part of. 86 00:05:28,445.71428571 --> 00:05:33,365.71428571 One conversation leads to another and parents advocates, speech therapists, teachers. 87 00:05:34,115.71428571 --> 00:05:35,255.71428571 Are all collaborating. 88 00:05:35,885.71428571 --> 00:05:43,355.71428571 Strategies for developing strong IDPs or shared how to advocate to insurance companies when to stop over-servicing your child. 89 00:05:43,715.71428571 --> 00:05:45,455.71428571 And how to support your child socially. 90 00:05:45,785.71428571 --> 00:05:49,355.71428571 We're just a few of the conversations that happened around conference tables. 91 00:05:50,265.71428571 --> 00:05:52,485.71428571 It's a reminder that the world is bigger than we think. 92 00:05:53,115.71428571 --> 00:05:59,205.71428571 Tunnel vision is easy in our small corner of life and traveling to a conference helps to regain perspective. 93 00:06:00,105.71428571 --> 00:06:01,485.71428571 Another interesting reminder. 94 00:06:01,875.71428571 --> 00:06:04,635.71428571 Is that there are always more resources than we know. 95 00:06:05,385.71428571 --> 00:06:09,525.71428571 Going to a conference and just listening to sessions and impromptu conversations. 96 00:06:09,975.71428571 --> 00:06:10,845.71428571 Around the tables. 97 00:06:10,875.71428571 --> 00:06:13,35.71428571 We'll leave you full of information. 98 00:06:13,965.71428571 --> 00:06:16,425.71428571 Once a few people in a parents advocacy session. 99 00:06:16,755.71428571 --> 00:06:20,55.71428571 Found out that I was a professional advocate, a small line formed. 100 00:06:20,805.71428571 --> 00:06:27,255.71428571 I was able to talk with them about their child's unique situation at school, how the school is handling it and how they could respond. 101 00:06:27,795.71428571 --> 00:06:31,635.71428571 We were having informal assessment in IEP conversations over lunch. 102 00:06:32,295.71428571 --> 00:06:36,75.71428571 It felt good to help someone else and see that is truly meaningful to them. 103 00:06:36,975.71428571 --> 00:06:38,655.71428571 I was able to trade contact info. 104 00:06:38,925.71428571 --> 00:06:42,135.71428571 With another advocate that happens to live in the same Metro areas. 105 00:06:42,135.71428571 --> 00:06:42,585.71428571 I do. 106 00:06:43,425.71428571 --> 00:06:47,985.71428571 One fun thing about conferences is that people are usually looking to connect in network. 107 00:06:48,435.71428571 --> 00:06:52,545.71428571 They also want to meet people who are like them, or it could help them in some way. 108 00:06:53,535.71428571 --> 00:06:57,705.71428571 After a fluxing on how refreshing connecting with others about similar passions was. 109 00:06:58,545.71428571 --> 00:07:05,875.71428571 I realized we could also get more involved with local organizations that build community for individuals and families experiencing neurodivergence. 110 00:07:06,295.71428571 --> 00:07:07,255.71428571 This is especially good. 111 00:07:07,255.71428571 --> 00:07:09,355.71428571 If you aren't able to travel right now. 112 00:07:10,555.71428571 --> 00:07:15,445.71428571 Some churches now have special education ministries with events like respite nights for parents. 113 00:07:15,835.71428571 --> 00:07:19,855.71428571 Small community groups, monthly dinners, and other social opportunities. 114 00:07:20,695.71428571 --> 00:07:25,675.71428571 We all need a supportive community around us, especially when we are leading families with extra needs. 115 00:07:26,575.71428571 --> 00:07:28,915.71428571 If there aren't any support groups or opportunities. 116 00:07:29,305.71428571 --> 00:07:31,315.71428571 For neurodivergent learners in your area. 117 00:07:31,675.71428571 --> 00:07:33,445.71428571 Try looking for online communities. 118 00:07:33,895.71428571 --> 00:07:35,815.71428571 This journey can be isolating at times. 119 00:07:36,265.71428571 --> 00:07:39,745.71428571 And it can be completely different with more teammates by your side. 120 00:07:40,895.71428571 --> 00:07:43,445.71428571 My family and I tried this path alone for way too long. 121 00:07:44,75.71428571 --> 00:07:47,345.71428571 COVID hit when Luke was 20 months old and we had a newborn. 122 00:07:48,185.71428571 --> 00:07:52,985.71428571 We were physically cut off from our social network for Uh, until we could get them vaccinated. 123 00:07:53,615.71428571 --> 00:07:54,395.71428571 Time passed. 124 00:07:54,815.71428571 --> 00:07:57,275.71428571 And we started to resume a semblance of a normal life. 125 00:07:58,25.71428571 --> 00:07:59,345.71428571 But about a year after that. 126 00:07:59,765.71428571 --> 00:08:02,615.71428571 We realized that we hadn't had any help with our kids. 127 00:08:03,5.71428571 --> 00:08:06,335.71428571 Except for the occasional visit from Grammy and almost five years. 128 00:08:07,25.71428571 --> 00:08:09,485.71428571 We also threw another sweet baby into the mix. 129 00:08:09,875.71428571 --> 00:08:11,75.71428571 We had gone it alone. 130 00:08:11,375.71428571 --> 00:08:14,45.71428571 And this just took a toll on our mental health and our marriage. 131 00:08:14,735.71428571 --> 00:08:18,935.71428571 I can zoom out now and see how I would have done so much differently in hindsight. 132 00:08:19,685.71428571 --> 00:08:22,835.71428571 These experiences grew us, whether we wanted it to happen that way or not. 133 00:08:23,975.71428571 --> 00:08:25,655.71428571 Problems just seem to be piling up. 134 00:08:26,195.71428571 --> 00:08:27,515.71428571 Surrounding me at every turn. 135 00:08:28,125.71428571 --> 00:08:36,795.71428571 Once I decided to grow, instead of having to know why in the midst of this difficult season, I was able to start recharging and actually retaining my learning. 136 00:08:37,905.71428571 --> 00:08:40,395.71428571 I had to make mental space to recharge and learn. 137 00:08:41,25.71428571 --> 00:08:44,415.71428571 My mind was too crowded to take on anything else for over a year. 138 00:08:45,305.71428571 --> 00:08:48,635.71428571 But the shift happened when I chose to grow in this dark place. 139 00:08:49,85.71428571 --> 00:08:52,25.71428571 Rather than spend any more time wondering why it was happening. 140 00:08:53,75.71428571 --> 00:08:54,425.71428571 Once I made space for growth. 141 00:08:54,605.71428571 --> 00:08:56,525.71428571 I researched autism and ADHD. 142 00:08:56,885.71428571 --> 00:08:59,555.71428571 And started noticing how it impacted my family uniquely. 143 00:09:00,395.71428571 --> 00:09:02,525.71428571 I also submitted an application to speak. 144 00:09:02,885.71428571 --> 00:09:05,255.71428571 At the apraxia kids conference and was accepted. 145 00:09:05,885.71428571 --> 00:09:09,305.71428571 So this conference I just returned from, I was actually a speaker at. 146 00:09:10,35.71428571 --> 00:09:13,125.71428571 These are things I couldn't have imagined doing two years ago. 147 00:09:13,875.71428571 --> 00:09:16,185.71428571 But everyone around me was challenging me to grow. 148 00:09:17,235.71428571 --> 00:09:20,625.71428571 Public speaking has been my worst fear from as early as I can remember. 149 00:09:21,255.71428571 --> 00:09:22,575.71428571 And in this season of growth. 150 00:09:23,415.71428571 --> 00:09:28,725.71428571 I noticed that some things like advocating for our kids are too important not to talk about. 151 00:09:29,565.71428571 --> 00:09:31,875.71428571 Even though trying new things can scare us to death. 152 00:09:32,385.71428571 --> 00:09:33,255.71428571 When we look back. 153 00:09:33,645.71428571 --> 00:09:35,685.71428571 It reminds us that we can do hard things. 154 00:09:36,735.71428571 --> 00:09:38,685.71428571 I don't know the details of your situation. 155 00:09:39,405.71428571 --> 00:09:43,635.71428571 I can't imagine how difficult, exhausting and overwhelming your journey is. 156 00:09:44,385.71428571 --> 00:09:46,185.71428571 But I know that you love your kid. 157 00:09:46,905.71428571 --> 00:09:52,365.71428571 I know because you're listening to this podcast, trying to figure out how to advocate for their needs. 158 00:09:53,985.71428571 --> 00:09:54,795.71428571 As we wrap up. 159 00:09:55,335.71428571 --> 00:10:00,285.71428571 I hope you're able to reflect and think about ways to take breaks with the goal of recharging. 160 00:10:00,945.71428571 --> 00:10:05,625.71428571 Then I hope you have resources that are helpful for your own style of learning. 161 00:10:06,105.71428571 --> 00:10:09,225.71428571 Whether it be podcasts, books, courses, or conferences. 162 00:10:10,65.71428571 --> 00:10:11,655.71428571 When we are knowledgeable and equipped. 163 00:10:12,45.71428571 --> 00:10:13,35.71428571 We are more resilient. 164 00:10:13,635.71428571 --> 00:10:14,955.71428571 As we become more resilient. 165 00:10:15,285.71428571 --> 00:10:17,295.71428571 We are better leaders for our families. 166 00:10:17,925.71428571 --> 00:10:24,825.71428571 Being committed to personal growth will improve our quality of life and will ultimately be a huge benefit for our kids. 167 00:10:25,575.71428571 --> 00:10:31,635.71428571 I also encourage you to find a supportive community to walk with you through this challenging and beautiful season of parenthood. 168 00:10:32,535.71428571 --> 00:10:33,825.71428571 Until next time, my friends. 169 00:10:34,635.71428571 --> 00:10:35,25.71428571 Ash. 170 00:10:36,975.04761905 --> 00:10:38,315.04761905 Hey there, before you go. 171 00:10:38,900.04761905 --> 00:10:41,150.04761905 Please go on iTunes and leave me a review. 172 00:10:41,790.04761905 --> 00:10:46,250.04761905 It will help more parents become resourced and resilient advocates for their children. 173 00:10:47,90.04761905 --> 00:10:58,860.04661905 Also, if you feel overwhelmed and unfamiliar with what services are available for your child and what to ask for in an IEP meeting, then visit my website, sparkeducationadvocacy. 174 00:10:59,750.04761905 --> 00:11:00,90.04761905 org. 175 00:11:00,880.04761905 --> 00:11:09,370.04761905 If you are ready to become your child's best advocate in IEP meetings and in social life experiences, I provide parent coaching. 176 00:11:09,790.04761905 --> 00:11:13,680.04761905 And IEP representation, both virtually and in person. 177 00:11:14,245.04761905 --> 00:11:22,965.04761905 I will help you break down the special education system and IEP documents in a relatable way so it's less complicated and more manageable. 178 00:11:23,795.04761905 --> 00:11:28,375.04761905 Together, we will defeat the inner voices of guilt, overwhelm, and frustration. 179 00:11:29,5.04761905 --> 00:11:37,195.04761905 You will be equipped with the knowledge and communication skills necessary to hold school staff accountable for meeting our children's educational needs. 180 00:11:38,245.04761905 --> 00:11:44,335.04761905 I'll also share the key questions and phrases I use in IEP meetings to get things done. 181 00:11:45,105.04761905 --> 00:11:53,165.04761905 If you're ready to take your seat as your child's expert at the IEP table, go to my website, ClarkEducationAdvocacy. 182 00:11:53,195.04761905 --> 00:11:55,745.04761905 org, and fill out the contact form.
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