15: The Science of Belonging: Attachment, Ego States, and Overcoming Social Anxiety with Judy Heidrich

Have you ever wondered about the invisible strings pulling at the back of your mind, causing stress or anxiety in your daily life? 

In this episode of People & Planet, I’m joined by Judy Heidrich, who is a licensed psychotherapist, a trauma resolution specialist, a mental health counselor, and a coach. Judy specializes in trauma resolution and integrated mind/body healing modalities, as well as energy based healing approaches. This includes RRT (Rapid Resolution Therapy), Healing Touch, SoulCollage therapy, as well as various breathwork techniques.

Judy has supported numerous clients on improving their mental health, as well as their emotional and physiological wellbeing. In this conversation we discuss anxiety and social anxiety, and a few other relational concepts such as ego states, big self vs. little self, and more, as a framework to help understand ourselves better, as well as improve the relationship we have with others. These modalities are all utilized to establish the healing connections between the physiological and emotional responses that can occur and to then assist and empower her clients to evolve and gain clarity along their healing journey.

Together, we dive into topics such as anxiety, social anxiety, attachment styles, and frameworks like ego states and transactional analysis, offering insights to better understand ourselves and those around us.

Key Themes & Takeaways:

• Understanding Anxiety and Social Anxiety: Judy explains the physiological and psychological impacts of anxiety, emphasizing the role of the autonomic nervous system, the "hum" of anxiety, and how chronic stress affects our body systems. She also unpacks social anxiety, discussing its roots in belonging, cognitive distortions, and cultural influences.
• Attachment Styles and Family Dynamics: We explore secure, insecure, disorganized, and avoidant attachment styles, emphasizing how early childhood experiences shape our adult relationships and social behaviors. Judy shares examples of how understanding these dynamics can improve personal and professional interactions.
• Big Self vs. Little Self: Judy introduces the concept of "Big Self" (confidence, groundedness) vs. "Little Self" (insecurity, fear) and how we can shift toward our Big Self through self-awareness, endurance, and neuroplasticity practices.
• Ego States and Transactional Analysis: Judy breaks down the parent, child, and adult ego states, highlighting how they influence communication and relationships. She also explores the Karpman drama triangle, explaining the roles of victim, rescuer, and persecutor and how to break free from unhealthy patterns.
• The Role of the Vagus Nerve and Polyvagal Theory: Judy discusses the vagus nerve's crucial role in regulating stress responses and achieving a calm, parasympathetic state, providing actionable techniques for self-regulation and nervous system balance. 

We talk about:

• 00:00 Introduction to Judy Heidrich and Her Expertise
• 01:43 Understanding Anxiety and Its Impact on the Body
• 03:56 The Autonomic Nervous System and Anxiety
• 10:14 Exploring Polyvagal Theory
• 17:45 Social Anxiety and Its Roots
• 25:50 Attachment Styles and Their Influence on Social Anxiety
• 32:04 Exploring Ego States: Parent, Adult, and Child
• 35:11 Transactional Analysis in Everyday Interactions
• 38:50 Understanding the Codependent Triangle
• 47:30 The Journey from Little Self to Big Self

Resources Menti