Episode Transcript
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Lynn Jordan:
Women traveling solo. (00:00):
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Lynn Jordan:
The classic advice? (00:02):
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Lynn Jordan:
Wear a fake wedding ring and
blend in to stay safe. (00:03):
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Lynn Jordan:
Is outdated and doesn't always
work. (00:06):
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Lynn Jordan:
And what about dealing with
different cultures? (00:08):
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Lynn Jordan:
Here are some strategies to help (00:11):
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Lynn Jordan:
you travel safely and with real (00:12):
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Lynn Jordan:
confidence. (00:14):
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Lynn Jordan:
Hi, I'm the urban lady prepper. (00:17):
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Lynn Jordan:
I help single moms and solo (00:19):
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Lynn Jordan:
women with practical emergency (00:20):
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Lynn Jordan:
preparedness. (00:22):
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Lynn Jordan:
But of course, all are welcome
to become better prepared for (00:23):
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Lynn Jordan:
whatever happens next. (00:26):
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Lynn Jordan:
This is the time of year when
many folks travel to see family (00:29):
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Lynn Jordan:
for the holidays. (00:32):
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Lynn Jordan:
While that travel tends to be
within the same country, some of (00:33):
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Lynn Jordan:
us will be traveling outside of
our borders or will soon. (00:36):
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Lynn Jordan:
While most travel advice is well
intentioned, I wanted to share (00:40):
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Lynn Jordan:
real strategies that have kept
me safe and generally sketchy (00:43):
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Lynn Jordan:
situations strategies that
nobody ever seems to talk about. (00:46):
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Lynn Jordan:
In this episode, I'm sharing the (00:51):
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Lynn Jordan:
unspoken rules of solo female (00:52):
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Lynn Jordan:
travel that go way beyond the (00:54):
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Lynn Jordan:
generic tips and give you the (00:56):
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Lynn Jordan:
tools to travel with real (00:57):
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Lynn Jordan:
confidence. (00:59):
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Lynn Jordan:
After extensive solo travel (01:01):
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Lynn Jordan:
research and sharing tales with (01:03):
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Lynn Jordan:
other ladies, I'm here to tell (01:04):
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Lynn Jordan:
you that for years I've seen the (01:06):
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Lynn Jordan:
same safety tips recycled (01:08):
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Lynn Jordan:
online. (01:09):
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Lynn Jordan:
Don't walk alone at night. (01:10):
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Lynn Jordan:
Watch your drink. (01:12):
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Lynn Jordan:
Be aware of your surroundings
and look. (01:13):
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Lynn Jordan:
While that's all true, it's
dangerously incomplete. (01:15):
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Lynn Jordan:
It's basic advice. (01:18):
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Lynn Jordan:
It doesn't prepare you for the
nuanced, uncomfortable, and (01:19):
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Lynn Jordan:
frankly, weird situations that
pop up when you're a woman (01:22):
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Lynn Jordan:
navigating the world alone. (01:26):
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Lynn Jordan:
This isn't an episode to scare
you. (01:29):
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Lynn Jordan:
It's the exact opposite. (01:30):
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Lynn Jordan:
True safety isn't about building
a wall of fear around yourself. (01:32):
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Lynn Jordan:
It's about having a toolbox of
smart, subtle strategies that (01:36):
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Lynn Jordan:
empower you to handle anything. (01:39):
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Lynn Jordan:
It's about knowing how to read a
room, a street, a culture, and (01:41):
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Lynn Jordan:
to move through easily. (01:45):
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Lynn Jordan:
These are the rules I learned (01:46):
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Lynn Jordan:
not just from comments, reels, (01:48):
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Lynn Jordan:
or blog posts, but on dirt roads (01:49):
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Lynn Jordan:
in the middle of nowhere and (01:51):
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Lynn Jordan:
crowded markets and a late night (01:53):
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Lynn Jordan:
train stations. (01:54):
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Lynn Jordan:
These are the unspoken rules. (01:56):
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Lynn Jordan:
Let's start with what I call the
local woman compass. (01:59):
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Lynn Jordan:
My first unspoken rule is that (02:02):
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Lynn Jordan:
local women are a valuable (02:04):
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Lynn Jordan:
resource. (02:05):
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Lynn Jordan:
Common advice tells you to be
wary of all strangers. (02:06):
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Lynn Jordan:
The unspoken rule is more
specific. (02:09):
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Lynn Jordan:
If you need help, directions, or (02:12):
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Lynn Jordan:
just a quick vibe check, find a (02:14):
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Lynn Jordan:
local woman. (02:15):
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Lynn Jordan:
I'm talking about the (02:17):
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Lynn Jordan:
grandmothers selling food on the (02:17):
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Lynn Jordan:
corner, the mom with their kids, (02:19):
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Lynn Jordan:
or a group of young women (02:20):
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Lynn Jordan:
laughing together. (02:21):
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Lynn Jordan:
They are your safest port in any
storm. (02:23):
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Lynn Jordan:
I learned this the hard way in (02:26):
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Lynn Jordan:
the winding back streets of a (02:27):
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Lynn Jordan:
historic city. (02:28):
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Lynn Jordan:
My phone was dead. (02:29):
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Lynn Jordan:
The sun was setting and I was
hopelessly lost. (02:30):
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Lynn Jordan:
A group of men started offering
to help me. (02:33):
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Lynn Jordan:
Getting a little too close. (02:36):
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Lynn Jordan:
Their smiles never quite
reaching their eyes. (02:37):
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Lynn Jordan:
My internal alarm bells were
screaming. (02:40):
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Lynn Jordan:
Instead of engaging, I spotted a
small textile shop where a (02:43):
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Lynn Jordan:
woman, probably in her sixties,
was carefully folding fabrics. (02:46):
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Lynn Jordan:
I ducked inside, my heart
pounding. (02:50):
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Lynn Jordan:
I walked towards her and pointed
at my printed reservation with a (02:53):
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Lynn Jordan:
desperate, questioning look. (02:56):
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Lynn Jordan:
She got it immediately. (02:58):
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Lynn Jordan:
She shooed the man away from her (02:59):
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Lynn Jordan:
doorway with a sharp string of (03:01):
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Lynn Jordan:
words. (03:02):
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Lynn Jordan:
Then she grabbed my hand. (03:03):
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Lynn Jordan:
Her grip was surprisingly
strong. (03:05):
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Lynn Jordan:
Walked me two streets down. (03:07):
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Lynn Jordan:
Pointed me towards my hotel and (03:08):
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Lynn Jordan:
patted my arm before turning (03:10):
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back. (03:11):
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Lynn Jordan:
She didn't just give me
directions. (03:12):
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Lynn Jordan:
She offered protection without a
single word exchanged. (03:14):
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Lynn Jordan:
Men might offer help for all
sorts of reasons, but not all of (03:17):
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Lynn Jordan:
them are in your best interest. (03:21):
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Lynn Jordan:
In my experience, a local woman
will help because she gets it. (03:23):
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Lynn Jordan:
She understands on a fundamental (03:26):
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Lynn Jordan:
level the vulnerabilities you (03:28):
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Lynn Jordan:
face. (03:30):
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Lynn Jordan:
Next up, master the soft? (03:32):
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Lynn Jordan:
No. And the hard no. This is all (03:34):
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Lynn Jordan:
about communication and body (03:36):
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Lynn Jordan:
language. (03:38):
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Lynn Jordan:
We're so often taught to be
polite, not to make a scene. (03:39):
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Lynn Jordan:
But your safety is so much more (03:42):
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Lynn Jordan:
important than a stranger's (03:44):
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Lynn Jordan:
comfort. (03:45):
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Lynn Jordan:
The soft no is your first line
of defense. (03:46):
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Lynn Jordan:
It's for the pushy shopkeeper,
the taxi driver offering a (03:49):
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Lynn Jordan:
special tour, or the guy at a
cafe who just won't take a hint. (03:52):
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Lynn Jordan:
It's a firm but polite no thank
you, with a smile that doesn't (03:56):
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Lynn Jordan:
invite further conversation. (04:00):
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Lynn Jordan:
It's walking away, standing tall
without a backward glance. (04:02):
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Lynn Jordan:
It's confident, clear and final. (04:05):
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Lynn Jordan:
But sometimes a soft no just
doesn't cut it. (04:08):
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Lynn Jordan:
And that's when you need the
hard. (04:11):
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Lynn Jordan:
No. The hard no is loud. (04:13):
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Lynn Jordan:
It's aggressive. (04:15):
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Lynn Jordan:
It's designed to make everyone
look. (04:16):
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Lynn Jordan:
This is for when someone follows
you, grabs your arm, or makes (04:18):
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Lynn Jordan:
you feel physically threatened. (04:21):
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Lynn Jordan:
You don't worry about being
rude. (04:23):
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Lynn Jordan:
You become the crazy tourist. (04:24):
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Lynn Jordan:
You yell. (04:26):
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Lynn Jordan:
You shout no or leave me alone. (04:27):
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Lynn Jordan:
You make a huge scene. (04:31):
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Lynn Jordan:
I had to use my hard no. Once in
a crowded square, a man had (04:33):
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Lynn Jordan:
followed me for several blocks,
getting closer and closer. (04:37):
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Lynn Jordan:
I tried the soft no ignoring (04:39):
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Lynn Jordan:
him, picking up my pace, but it (04:41):
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Lynn Jordan:
didn't work. (04:43):
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Lynn Jordan:
Then he rushed up and grabbed my
elbow. (04:44):
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Lynn Jordan:
I just stopped, spun around and (04:46):
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Lynn Jordan:
screamed, get your hands off of (04:48):
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Lynn Jordan:
me! (04:49):
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Lynn Jordan:
At the top of my lungs. (04:50):
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Lynn Jordan:
Every single head and a fifty (04:52):
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Lynn Jordan:
foot radius snapped right (04:53):
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Lynn Jordan:
towards us. (04:55):
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Lynn Jordan:
He was so stunned he just let go
and vanished into the crowd. (04:56):
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Lynn Jordan:
Was it embarrassing? (04:59):
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Lynn Jordan:
For about half a second. (05:01):
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Lynn Jordan:
Yeah. (05:02):
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Lynn Jordan:
But it worked instantly. (05:03):
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Lynn Jordan:
Predators thrive in silence and
secrecy. (05:05):
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Lynn Jordan:
Don't give it to them. (05:08):
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Lynn Jordan:
Practice yelling. (05:09):
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Lynn Jordan:
It feels weird, but you need to
know you can access that voice (05:10):
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Lynn Jordan:
when your adrenaline is pumping. (05:14):
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Lynn Jordan:
Next, your safe space is
non-negotiable. (05:16):
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Lynn Jordan:
This might sound obvious, but
there's more to it. (05:20):
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Lynn Jordan:
The rule isn't just to book safe
accommodations. (05:23):
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Lynn Jordan:
The unspoken rule is that your
room, your safe space, is a (05:26):
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Lynn Jordan:
non-negotiable sanctuary, and
you have to budget for it. (05:30):
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Lynn Jordan:
I see so many new travelers (05:34):
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Lynn Jordan:
trying to save every last penny (05:35):
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Lynn Jordan:
on lodging. (05:37):
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Lynn Jordan:
This is honestly the biggest
mistake you can make, especially (05:38):
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Lynn Jordan:
as a woman. (05:41):
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Lynn Jordan:
A cheap hostel in a badly knit (05:43):
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Lynn Jordan:
neighborhood with no front desk (05:44):
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Lynn Jordan:
and a flimsy lock isn't a (05:46):
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Lynn Jordan:
bargain. (05:47):
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Lynn Jordan:
It's a liability. (05:48):
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Lynn Jordan:
It's a place where your anxiety
will simmer, where you can't (05:49):
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Lynn Jordan:
ever truly rest, and where your
stuff is never really secure. (05:52):
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Lynn Jordan:
Your peace of mind is worth the
extra money a night. (05:56):
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Lynn Jordan:
Trust me, I made this mistake
once on an early trip. (05:59):
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Lynn Jordan:
I booked the absolute cheapest
hostel I could find online. (06:03):
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Lynn Jordan:
The door didn't lock right, the
neighborhood fell off and my (06:06):
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Lynn Jordan:
locker was a joke. (06:09):
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Lynn Jordan:
I spent the entire night barely (06:11):
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Lynn Jordan:
sleeping with my passport and (06:13):
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Lynn Jordan:
money belt strapped to my body, (06:14):
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Lynn Jordan:
jumping at every footstep in the (06:16):
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Lynn Jordan:
hall. (06:18):
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Lynn Jordan:
The next morning, I packed up
and checked into a slightly more (06:18):
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Lynn Jordan:
expensive hostel, a twenty four
hour reception and glowing (06:21):
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Lynn Jordan:
reviews from women, and I got
the only solo room left. (06:24):
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Lynn Jordan:
The relief was immediate. (06:28):
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Lynn Jordan:
It was overwhelming. (06:29):
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Lynn Jordan:
I could finally relax and
actually be charged. (06:31):
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Lynn Jordan:
Your safe base is your fortress. (06:34):
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Lynn Jordan:
It's where you reset. (06:36):
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Lynn Jordan:
Never, ever compromise on it. (06:38):
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Lynn Jordan:
Now, if these unspoken rules are
clicking with you and you want (06:41):
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Lynn Jordan:
more real world advice that goes
beyond the basics. (06:45):
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Lynn Jordan:
Take a second to hit the like
and subscribe buttons. (06:48):
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Lynn Jordan:
My whole goal here is to help (06:51):
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Lynn Jordan:
you build more confidence and (06:52):
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Lynn Jordan:
less fear. (06:54):
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Lynn Jordan:
And I have so much more to
share. (06:54):
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Lynn Jordan:
Your support means the world and (06:56):
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Lynn Jordan:
lets me keep making these (06:58):
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Lynn Jordan:
videos. (06:59):
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Lynn Jordan:
Thanks to continue to press for
respect, not for invisibility. (07:00):
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Lynn Jordan:
Yes, I've made podcasts and
posts about how to become a (07:06):
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Lynn Jordan:
preppers call the Gray Man, but
that is mainly for times when (07:09):
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Lynn Jordan:
you need to become invisible,
such as in post-disaster (07:13):
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Lynn Jordan:
situations or in areas of high
crime or civil unrest. (07:16):
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Lynn Jordan:
But when traveling, especially
to another country, the tip (07:19):
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Lynn Jordan:
dressed modestly to avoid
attention is well intentioned, (07:23):
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Lynn Jordan:
but it's often misinterpreted as
try to be invisible. (07:27):
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Lynn Jordan:
The unspoken rule is to dress
for respect. (07:30):
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Lynn Jordan:
It's a subtle but powerful
shift. (07:33):
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Lynn Jordan:
You're not just trying to blend
in, you're actively showing (07:36):
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Lynn Jordan:
respect for the culture you're
requesting, and in return, you (07:38):
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Lynn Jordan:
almost always receive more. (07:42):
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Lynn Jordan:
Before I go anywhere. (07:45):
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Lynn Jordan:
I spend a little time on Google
or Instagram looking at what (07:46):
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Lynn Jordan:
local women are wearing in their
day to day lives. (07:49):
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Lynn Jordan:
Are they in dresses? (07:51):
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Lynn Jordan:
Jeans? (07:52):
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Lynn Jordan:
Do they usually cover your
shoulders? (07:53):
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Lynn Jordan:
This isn't about playing dress (07:55):
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Lynn Jordan:
up or losing your personal (07:57):
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Lynn Jordan:
style. (07:58):
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Lynn Jordan:
It's about finding that sweet
spot between your clothing and (07:59):
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Lynn Jordan:
their cultural norms. (08:02):
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Lynn Jordan:
And pro tip packing a couple of
big, versatile scarves is one of (08:03):
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Lynn Jordan:
the smartest things you can do. (08:07):
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Lynn Jordan:
I remember walking through a (08:09):
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Lynn Jordan:
market in a more conservative (08:10):
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Lynn Jordan:
region. (08:12):
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Lynn Jordan:
I was wearing loose linen pants (08:12):
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Lynn Jordan:
and a t shirt that covered my (08:14):
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Lynn Jordan:
shoulders. (08:15):
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Lynn Jordan:
I saw other female tourists in
shorts and tank tops, and the (08:16):
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Lynn Jordan:
difference in how we were
treated was night and day. (08:20):
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Lynn Jordan:
They were getting catcalled (08:22):
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Lynn Jordan:
harassed by vendors and (08:24):
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Lynn Jordan:
followed. (08:25):
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Lynn Jordan:
Meanwhile, I was able to have
genuine conversations. (08:26):
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Lynn Jordan:
People smiled at me. (08:29):
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Lynn Jordan:
An elderly woman actually took
the time to show me which spices (08:30):
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Lynn Jordan:
were the freshest by signaling
that I respected their culture. (08:33):
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Lynn Jordan:
I was treated less like a (08:37):
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Lynn Jordan:
tourist novelty and more like a (08:38):
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Lynn Jordan:
person. (08:40):
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Lynn Jordan:
It helps you blend in not
because you're invisible, but (08:41):
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Lynn Jordan:
because you look like someone
who bothered to learn about the (08:44):
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Lynn Jordan:
place they're visiting, not
acting like an entitled tourist (08:46):
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Lynn Jordan:
or the infamous "Ugly American." (08:49):
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Lynn Jordan:
Next, and this is the most
important unspoken rule of all. (08:53):
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Lynn Jordan:
You have to learn to weaponize
your intuition. (08:57):
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Lynn Jordan:
Everyone, including me, says
trust your gut. (09:00):
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Lynn Jordan:
But not everyone tells you how (09:03):
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Lynn Jordan:
trusting your gut isn't a (09:05):
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Lynn Jordan:
passive feeling. (09:07):
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Lynn Jordan:
It's an active, decisive tool. (09:08):
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Lynn Jordan:
It doesn't need to make logical
sense. (09:10):
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Lynn Jordan:
It's that primal animal instinct
that has kept our ancestors (09:12):
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Lynn Jordan:
alive for thousands of years, as
women were often socialized to (09:15):
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Lynn Jordan:
second guess this instinct, to
be polite, to give people the (09:20):
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Lynn Jordan:
benefit of the doubt. (09:23):
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Lynn Jordan:
You have to unlearn that (09:24):
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Lynn Jordan:
weaponizing your intuition means (09:27):
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Lynn Jordan:
that you treat that weird (09:28):
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Lynn Jordan:
feeling as a direct order, no (09:30):
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Lynn Jordan:
questions asked. (09:32):
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Lynn Jordan:
It's the sudden urge to cross
the street for no reason. (09:33):
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Lynn Jordan:
It's the feeling that you should (09:36):
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Lynn Jordan:
take a different route back to (09:38):
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Lynn Jordan:
your hotel. (09:39):
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Lynn Jordan:
It's the decision to leave a bar (09:40):
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Lynn Jordan:
a little earlier than you (09:42):
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Lynn Jordan:
planned. (09:43):
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Lynn Jordan:
Even if you can't explain why, (09:44):
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Lynn Jordan:
you have to act on it without (09:45):
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Lynn Jordan:
hesitation. (09:47):
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Lynn Jordan:
I was once looking for dinner in
a city I'd just arrived in. (09:49):
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Lynn Jordan:
I found a restaurant on a side
street that looked perfect. (09:52):
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Lynn Jordan:
Great reviews, cozy vibe. (09:55):
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Lynn Jordan:
But as I stood at the entrance,
something just felt off. (09:57):
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Lynn Jordan:
I couldn't put my finger on it. (10:01):
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Lynn Jordan:
The people inside looked fine. (10:03):
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Lynn Jordan:
The music was good, but my
stomach was in knots. (10:05):
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Lynn Jordan:
The voice in my head was a quiet
but firm. (10:08):
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Lynn Jordan:
"Don't go in there." (10:10):
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Lynn Jordan:
Instead of arguing with it, I
just listened. (10:12):
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Lynn Jordan:
I turned around, walked away,
and found another place on a (10:14):
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Lynn Jordan:
busy main road. (10:17):
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Lynn Jordan:
The next day, another tourist
staying at my hotel said that (10:18):
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Lynn Jordan:
solo diners and restaurants on
that same street. (10:21):
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Lynn Jordan:
My intuition told me to leave,
had their bag stolen. (10:24):
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Lynn Jordan:
Did my gut know that specific
fact? (10:27):
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Lynn Jordan:
Of course not. (10:29):
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Lynn Jordan:
But it sensed a risk my
conscience brain couldn't see. (10:30):
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Lynn Jordan:
Your intuition is your most (10:34):
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Lynn Jordan:
advanced personal security (10:35):
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Lynn Jordan:
system. (10:37):
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Lynn Jordan:
Listen to it. (10:38):
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Lynn Jordan:
Act on it. (10:39):
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Lynn Jordan:
It will never steal you. (10:40):
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Lynn Jordan:
Wrong. (10:41):
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Lynn Jordan:
Here's a bonus tip from a
relative who is a retired cop. (10:43):
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Lynn Jordan:
He's well-traveled, and one
piece of advice he gave me was (10:46):
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Lynn Jordan:
to always carry a knot full of
dollar bills in whatever (10:49):
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Lynn Jordan:
currency, and keep it in a
pocket you can easily reach. (10:52):
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Lynn Jordan:
This way, if someone tries to
rob you or walks up aggressively (10:56):
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Lynn Jordan:
demanding money, you can grab
that money, throw it, and run in (10:59):
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Lynn Jordan:
the opposite direction. (11:02):
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Lynn Jordan:
Chances are they're more (11:03):
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Lynn Jordan:
interested in the money than (11:04):
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Lynn Jordan:
you. (11:05):
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Lynn Jordan:
So you have the chance to get
away before they come up with (11:06):
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Lynn Jordan:
any other ideas. (11:09):
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Lynn Jordan:
In conclusion, the point of solo
travel isn't to navigate a world (11:11):
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Lynn Jordan:
full of threats. (11:15):
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Lynn Jordan:
It's to experience the
incredible beauty, kindness, and (11:16):
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Lynn Jordan:
connection our planet offers. (11:18):
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Lynn Jordan:
These unspoken rules aren't
meant to limit your experience. (11:20):
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Lynn Jordan:
They're meant to expand it. (11:23):
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Lynn Jordan:
They're the tools that give you
the confidence to say yes to (11:25):
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Lynn Jordan:
that spontaneous trip, to wander
down that interesting looking (11:28):
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Lynn Jordan:
street, And to connect with
people from a place of (11:31):
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Lynn Jordan:
empowerment, not fear. (11:34):
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Lynn Jordan:
The advice, like the fake
wedding ring and other fear (11:36):
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Lynn Jordan:
based tips, it all comes from a
place of trying to make them as (11:38):
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Lynn Jordan:
smaller, less available. (11:42):
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Lynn Jordan:
And that isn't always a bad
thing if it helps keep you safe (11:43):
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Lynn Jordan:
depending on the situation. (11:46):
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Lynn Jordan:
But this episode aims to do
something more. (11:48):
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Lynn Jordan:
Make you smarter, more aware, (11:50):
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Lynn Jordan:
and more comfortable in (11:52):
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Lynn Jordan:
unfamiliar areas. (11:53):
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Lynn Jordan:
So pack your bags and pack these (11:55):
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Lynn Jordan:
strategies to pack your local (11:57):
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Lynn Jordan:
woman. (11:59):
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Lynn Jordan:
Compass your soft and hard no's. (11:59):
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Lynn Jordan:
And above all, pack your trust
and your powerful intuition. (12:02):
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Lynn Jordan:
Traveling solo as a woman is one
of the most liberating things (12:05):
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Lynn Jordan:
you can possibly do. (12:08):
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Lynn Jordan:
You don't need to be fearless. (12:10):
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Lynn Jordan:
You just need to be smart. (12:11):
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Lynn Jordan:
And you can absolutely do this. (12:13):
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Lynn Jordan:
What are some of the unspoken (12:15):
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Lynn Jordan:
rules you've learned on your (12:16):
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Lynn Jordan:
travels? (12:18):
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Lynn Jordan:
Share them in the comments! (12:19):
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Lynn Jordan:
Let's help each other explore (12:20):
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Lynn Jordan:
the world safely and with (12:21):
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Lynn Jordan:
confidence. (12:22):
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Lynn Jordan:
Thanks for listening and safe
travels. (12:24):
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Lynn Jordan:
Until next time. (12:26):
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Lynn Jordan:
This is the urban Lady prepper
signing off. (12:27):
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