Overcoming Adversity: A Veteran's Journey

Hello, boys and girls. Call me Mr. Medicated. How you doing? I am a disabled vet. I have been disabled now for 12 years. Totally and completely disabled, I guess. But, unfortunately, I was suffering from this disability for like 30 years. Nobody told me.

So, anyway, I have PTSD, multiple sclerosis, and a severe brain injury, combat-related. So, I want to go over my issues, my problems, things that happened with me with you, so maybe I can help you out. Maybe we can, you know, figure out how to live through this together. Maybe I can help you in any way that I can. I can help you with getting your VA disability. I can help you with dealing with medication, sexual issues, because I know I have problems, all kinds of things. It's just very difficult living with these problems. I can tell you that right now.

When I got removed from the military, I had no explanation on how to deal with my issues at all. I got, hey, here's the boot. Get out. Nothing. Pain. I can tell you, number one, a brain injury is a really unique thing. Severe brain injury is very unique. Now, I'm functioning, or I was functioning. My left hand is really bad. My left leg is really bad. I don't know if that's the MS or the brain injury.

I had a kid. I had to find a job, and I ended up being a maintenance manager in a maintenance department of a small plastic injection molding company in McAllen, Texas, which is absolutely the worst place you can be if you have MS, because heat and MS don't go together. So that's where I started my civilian career. And it was very difficult. Didn't know that I had MS. Didn't understand what a brain injury actually does to you. And so that was hard.

I learned how to work on injection molding machines, robots, and those kinds of things. My left hand has always been kind of a clump, and that developed slowly over time. My left leg has always dragged behind since the accident. I've always had severe headaches, and my eyes blurred, working on small electrical devices and work around high voltage. That's kind of a hindrance and it can be a big problem. I just kind of had to learn to work around it.

Plus, the fact that I'm a high school dropout, I had to get my GED in the military. I had to teach myself how to fix these things and to understand the principles behind them and all of these other issues and things that I had to learn while I was suffering from these problems. It was really difficult, but it was a challenge that I had to overcome. And I had kids to feed.

So while I was dealing with my family and my wife and my children and these illnesses, I had to absorb a huge amount of information. I know a lot of you out there struggle with your problems. I'm trying to tell you that you can overcome just about anything because I overcame a lot of things.

Now, let's talk about these medications they have us on for a few minutes. These medications are necessary sometimes because the pain is excruciating. However, medications also take away a lot of how we feel and who we are. They reduce us in a lot of ways. You know, we don't feel anger anymore. We don't feel compassion. We're more like a living piece of wood. So you have to consider that in your daily life is how much of me are these medications actually taking away from me, right? These antidepressants and these pain pills and, I mean, all this stuff that we're taking, how much is actually being taken away from me? How much of me is actually left after I take all this?

And that's really hard to say. Some of the stuff you actually gotta have because otherwise, you're a monster because I know I am. But some of the stuff, I don't know. You know, that's something else we really need to delve into. I mean, what do we actually have to take and what should we really take?

So let's look into some of this medication and find out what it really does and what it's really doing to us, you know, and seriously, man, don't try to escap

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hello, boys and girls. Call me Mr. Medicated. How you doing? I am a disabled vet.
I have disabled now for 12 years.
Totally and completely disabled, I guess.
But, unfortunately, I was suffering from this disability for like 30 years.

(00:21):
Nobody told me. So, anyway, I have PTSD, multiple sclerosis,
and a severe brain injury, combat related.
So, I want to go over my issues, my problems, things that happened with me with
you, so maybe I can help you out.
Maybe we can, you know, figure out how to live through this together.

(00:44):
Maybe I can help you in any way that I can. I can help you with getting your
VA disability. I can help you with dealing with medication, sexual issues,
because I know I have problems, all kinds of things.
It's just very difficult living with these problems. I can tell you that right now.
When I got removed from the military, I had no explanation on how to deal with my issues at all.

(01:11):
I got, hey, here's the boot. Get out. Nothing. pain.
I can tell you, number one, a brain injury is a really unique thing.
Severe brain injury is very unique.
Now, I'm functioning, or I was functioning. My left hand is really bad.
My left leg is really bad.
I don't know if that's the MS or the brain injury.

(01:33):
I had a kid.
I had to find a job, and I ended up being a maintenance manager in a maintenance department.
Of a small plastic injection molding department, injection molding company in McAllen, Texas,
which is absolutely the worst place you can be if you have MS,

(01:56):
because heat and MS don't go together.
So that's where I started my civilian career.
And it was very difficult. Didn't know that I had MS.
Didn't understand what a brain injury actually does to you.
And so that was hard i learned how to work on injection molding machines robots

(02:20):
and those kind of things my left hand has always been kind of a clump and that
developed slowly over time,
my left leg has always been dry has drugged behind since the accident i've always
had severe headaches and my eyes blurred, working on small electrical devices

(02:40):
and work around high voltage,
that's kind of a hindrance and it can be a big problem.
I just kind of had to learn to work around it. Plus the fact that I'm a high
school dropout, I had to get my GED in the military.
I had to teach myself how to fix these things and to understand the principles

(03:03):
behind them and all of these other issues and things that I had to learn while
I was suffering from these problems.
It was really difficult, but it was a challenge that I had to overcome.
And I had kids to feed. So while I was dealing with my family and my wife and

(03:28):
my children and these illnesses,
I had to absorb a huge amount of information.
I know a lot of you out there struggle with your problems.
I'm trying to tell you that you can overcome just about anything because I overcame
a lot of things. I would drag home books.
I mean, imagine technical manuals, you know, you're carrying them out of your

(03:52):
car and they just they're higher than you are, taller than you are.
And you're trying to read through them and trying to absorb all this information
on machinery and equipment and hoping that you can fix these things.
And you're trying to reach in and pull out these little boards with one hand
and troubleshooting with a multimeter.

(04:13):
And you've got to use, there's two leads on a multimeter.
And you have to hold one lead with your left hand, which doesn't,
you're not sure if you're actually keeping it on the ground.
And the other lead, you're trying to keep on what you're holding,
you know, on points to troubleshoot things. And you've got to be accurate.
And that can be very difficult. And even worse, McAllen, a lot of people didn't speak English.

(04:39):
So you're trying to tell people, hey, turn this on, turn this off.
And they don't understand what you're saying.
I got electrocuted more times than I can count.
It was very, very hard. And that's where I got my start.
And I got to tell you, I was so defeated. It was so hard.

(05:00):
But you can overcome them. And brain injury causes you to forget things, right?
Being remembering what's happening
around you, what's happening on a daily basis can be very, very hard.
So you begin to learn ways to

(05:20):
overcome that one of the things that i did and i
know people used to think i was crazy but i talked to
myself a lot and that reinforces memory
you know so you're talking to yourself you're you're
you're reinforcing your memory so i
would discuss things with myself all the time and that
would help me keep my memory intact

(05:43):
and i don't know about you that is
a method that i learned over time to
reinforce my memory so that's a
baseline but there are things that happen
with a brain injury that are terrible horrible like
early on i know that my personality changed

(06:04):
i became aggressive and violent
and that's not a
good thing you have to be able to recognize those personality
changes happen during the
course of your brain injuries brain injuries actually get worse
over time they don't nobody ever.
Told me that that wasn't something anybody discussed with

(06:27):
me because i didn't get any education on these things they get worse over time
like ms ms gets worse over time so does a brain And another thing about a brain
injury is that as you forget things,
your brain, because of the amazing tool it is, tries to fill in those gaps.

(06:51):
And you will remember things that aren't exactly what they were,
but your brain is an amazing tool, and it's really trying to compensate for
what you're forgetting.
Kidding so say you went out to eat ice
cream with your wife a year
ago and you had a good time but you forgot

(07:12):
well your brain because it's an amazing tool
is going to say okay well
we went out but we didn't have ice cream we had steak and
your wife's going to remember that you went out and had
ice cream your brain is going to rewrite that for you so you're still going
to know you went out with their wife but it's going to rewrite the details because

(07:32):
those portions of that memory have been lost but the tool that your brain is
is going to fill in the blanks for you because that's what it does.
And don't be embarrassed about those things because that happens.
I mean, MS is horrible too. MS is a continual,

(07:52):
constant battle that you fight with your body and your mind about energy and
depression and your ability to keep going on and on.
So you're always in this constant battle with yourself to keep moving forward in life.

(08:14):
And I got to tell you, you put the two together and it's like fighting a giant.
I know there are those of you out there that have these two conditions,
but the combination is just more than most people, I would say, understand.
Understand it's terrible, but for one thing you have to understand is giving

(08:40):
in to anything is giving in to everything.
If you give in to your brain injury or your MS or your whatever,
then you're giving in to everything. You can't give up.
There are things you're going to need during your life.

(09:02):
And it's okay if you need them, right? If you need to have a hot tub in the
backyard to swim in, it's okay to need them, right?
I mean, you may not be able to afford it, but it's okay to need it and to try
to find ways to get it. That's great.
You might need to be able to walk every day.

(09:23):
You might need to be on the computer talking to people.
You might need, because let me tell you, being caged in a house,
being homebound, with nobody else to talk to during the daytime,
but your dog and the puppet you draw on your hand is freaking horrible.
You may need to talk to people online.

(09:43):
You may need to do things other people don't understand, but my God,
that is a freedom that you should never let anybody take away from you because
you need those things, right?
Do not let people cage you up and take those things away from you, right?
Because the disability that has been forced upon you by this injury or this disease or whatever is.

(10:13):
Can't and shouldn't be used in a
way to force you out of whatever freedom you
have left in your life because the people around
you are going to try tell you
that oh you shouldn't be doing this or you can't do
that or you shouldn't have this you should have whatever you need to exist and

(10:33):
i'm i'm gonna be honest with you i have sat in my room and thought about taking
my life more times that I can count and I can't and I won't let anybody beat me, okay?
There is no way and you can't let anybody beat you. You've got to keep moving forward.
We're going to keep talking about how to overcome these issues, right?

(10:57):
Every step you take forward is another step that you should never let anybody take away from you.
There is some freedom in your life that you have and that somebody is looking
at going, oh, you shouldn't have that.
Oh, that can't be the way you live. You need to tell them to leave you alone
and that you should have the right to exist in the way you want to.

(11:19):
All right? There's all these people out there today that I identify as a cat.
I identify as a mouse. I am this. I am that. Well, you know what?
You've had so much taken away from you in your life. You should be able to say,
I am who I am and leave me alone, you know, because that's the way life is.

(11:40):
And you've had so much taken away, right? These diseases have ripped so much
away from you, so much of your life.
These injuries have taken so much away from you. And a lot of us that did it
because we did it for our country or we did it for our families or we did it to do the right thing.
And now it's being ripped away from us because people just think they have the

(12:04):
right to take things away from us. And that's not OK.
Now, let's talk about these medications. They have us on for a few minutes.
These medications are necessary sometimes because the pain is excruciating.
However, medications also take away a lot of how we feel and who we are.

(12:27):
They reduce us a lot of ways.
You know, we don't feel anger anymore. We don't feel compassion.
We're more like a living piece of wood.
So you have to consider that in your daily life is how much of me are these

(12:50):
medications actually taking away from me, right?
These antidepressants and these pain pills and, I mean, all this stuff that
we're taking, how much is actually being taken away from me?
How much of me is actually left after I take all this?
And that's really hard to say some of the

(13:11):
stuff you actually gotta have because otherwise you're a
monster because i know i am but some of the stuff i don't know you know that's
something else we really need to dwell into i mean what do we actually have
to take and what should we really take you know so let's look into some of this
medication and find out what it really does

(13:31):
and what it's really doing to us, you know, and seriously,
man, don't try to escape through alcohol.
Don't try to escape through other drugs, but let's look at some of this medicine
and see what's really happening.
And maybe we can get some guest speakers on here and maybe we can talk to some
real people, some other people that are dealing with these problems and find

(13:54):
out what's really going on in their lives.
You know, there's so much we can get into.
Anyhow, that's it for me right now i just wanted to start this podcast with
a real i don't know thing thank you for listening.