August 15, 2025 • 23 mins
Are you stuck in a swirl of "I'm sorry" or even worse feeling sorry for everything cause in the world?
In this spicy and soul-shaking episode of the Radical Responsibility Revolution, I’m throwing down some truth about the epidemic of pity, performative compassion, and why feeling sorry for others is keeping everyone small.
We’ll talk:
Why saying “sorry” as punctuation is draining your power
The toxic side of spiritual codependency (yes, even with good intentions)
What a baby chick hatching can teach us about struggle and sovereignty
How to spot virtue signaling in your own life (and kindly... stop it)
The difference between true compassion and disempowering handouts
And why modeling strength, not saving people, is the new sacred strategy
This isn’t about blame. It’s about radical self-awareness, fierce love, and sovereign support. Feeling sorry doesn’t feed someone’s soul. But showing up in your power might just wake them up to theirs. 💥
Plus: I spill the details on my Inner Billionaire Circle — now just $79/month through August.
It’s the most affordable way to link arms with a sisterhood of soul-led women who are DONE with burnout and ready to build wealth, worth, and wild joy.
Link in the notes. 💫 Tune in. Laugh. Get slightly uncomfortable. Reclaim your energy. Because Queen, the world doesn’t need your guilt. It needs your radiance.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
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Welcome to the Radical Responsibility Revolution podcast.
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This is where we are transforming lives, inspiring you to reclaim your health, your wealth, and the power of your mind.
Here we share actionable insights, inviting you to turn inwards and design your life of purpose and abundance. 4 00:00:30,551.995464853 --> 00:00:31,901.995464853 Welcome back. 5 00:00:31,901.995464853 --> 00:00:39,581.995464853 It's Debbie Dobbins and I am here to share another episode of The Radical Responsibility Revolution. 6 00:00:39,611.995464853 --> 00:00:42,851.995464853 before we dive into the cheeky truth telling today. 7 00:00:43,226.995464853 --> 00:01:00,346.995464853 I wanna let you know, about this sizzling hot summer offer, my inner billionaire circle because the sacred sisterhood of women reclaiming power, prosperity, and joy through intentional living is on fire right now. 8 00:01:00,346.995464853 --> 00:01:02,146.995464853 it's normally $99 a month. 9 00:01:02,146.995464853 --> 00:01:10,851.995464853 It's a year long program and It takes you from looking at who you are being right now and where you want to go in an incredibly powerful way. 10 00:01:10,851.995464853 --> 00:01:14,301.995464853 So until the end of the month, it's only $79 a month. 11 00:01:14,351.995464853 --> 00:01:16,871.995464853 I encourage you to sign up in the show notes. 12 00:01:16,871.995464853 --> 00:01:20,706.995464853 The link is there because when women rise together, we don't wait for permiss. 13 00:01:21,366.995464853 --> 00:01:31,746.995464853 We create momentum, you're gonna get monthly masterclasses, live mentoring with me and a circle of powerhouse women who are done playing small. 14 00:01:31,956.995464853 --> 00:01:33,726.995464853 So check out the links in the show notes. 15 00:01:34,666.995464853 --> 00:01:39,166.995464853 I wanna talk about today, honestly, I've been feeling a little sorry for myself. 16 00:01:39,926.995464853 --> 00:01:42,506.99546485 we go into these things of feeling sorry for ourselves. 17 00:01:42,506.99546485 --> 00:01:49,951.99546485 Like, why is this happening to me? If you listen to any of my podcasts, you read my book, you know that we're all here creating our own experience. 18 00:01:50,461.99546485 --> 00:02:06,1.99546485 But this epidemic that's sweeping the world actually faster than any virus and definitely more contagious, is about saying, I'm sorry, and then saying I'm sorry for other people, feeling sorry for somebody. 19 00:02:06,211.99546485 --> 00:02:12,361.99546485 And I think it's really interesting because I've noticed people apologize for literally. 20 00:02:12,661.99546485 --> 00:02:13,351.99546485 Everything. 21 00:02:13,351.99546485 --> 00:02:18,421.99546485 Now, have you noticed that you bump into them and they say, oh my God, I'm so sorry. 22 00:02:18,751.99546485 --> 00:02:26,311.99546485 I'm like, what are you sorry for? Standing, breathing, occupying a carbon footprint. 23 00:02:26,641.99546485 --> 00:02:39,391.99546485 We are living in the age of weaponized politeness, and that then will lead into this whole conversation that I want to have around feeling sorry for other people, other things, other experiences. 24 00:02:40,351.99546485 --> 00:02:46,171.99546485 And listen, we're all feeling sorry for ourselves in a lot of these cases, so get ready for some truth bumps. 25 00:02:46,321.99546485 --> 00:02:51,781.99546485 I call it spiritual codependency with better lighting. 26 00:02:52,81.99546485 --> 00:02:55,81.99546485 People say sorry, like it's a punctuation. 27 00:02:55,761.99546485 --> 00:02:57,351.99546485 I'm sorry, but I have a question. 28 00:02:58,11.99546485 --> 00:03:01,851.99546485 I'm sorry I didn't respond to your text from 2017. 29 00:03:02,331.99546485 --> 00:03:03,171.99546485 I'm sorry. 30 00:03:03,291.99546485 --> 00:03:11,1.99546485 I'm taking up space with my energy, my voice, my womb wisdom, my whole entire existence, literally. 31 00:03:11,61.99546485 --> 00:03:13,431.99546485 And women do this more than anybody. 32 00:03:13,971.99546485 --> 00:03:24,951.99546485 So look babe, unless you've declared war on a small nation or eaten the last cookie at a woman's retreat, you don't need to apologize. 33 00:03:25,606.99546485 --> 00:03:33,76.99546485 I had this woman message me the other day after a live stream, and she says this, I'm so sorry. 34 00:03:33,286.99546485 --> 00:03:34,876.99546485 I know I'm probably bothering you. 35 00:03:35,146.99546485 --> 00:03:36,766.99546485 I should be more grateful. 36 00:03:36,916.99546485 --> 00:03:39,916.99546485 Maybe I need to heal something before I even ask this. 37 00:03:39,916.99546485 --> 00:03:46,336.99546485 But y'all, I thought she was about to ask me to borrow a kidney. 38 00:03:47,266.99546485 --> 00:03:47,836.99546485 Nope. 39 00:03:48,496.99546485 --> 00:03:51,506.99546485 She wanted to know if I had a podcast. 40 00:03:51,866.99546485 --> 00:04:02,696.99546485 I understand that if you're listening to this, you know, I have a podcast, but I had literally just promoted the podcast on the live stream she was watching. 41 00:04:03,386.99546485 --> 00:04:07,226.99546485 So part of what we're talking about is people don't listen anymore. 42 00:04:07,276.99546485 --> 00:04:08,836.99546485 And of course, I responded. 43 00:04:09,766.99546485 --> 00:04:12,796.99546485 Like the recovering people pleaser. 44 00:04:12,796.99546485 --> 00:04:13,516.99546485 I am. 45 00:04:14,56.99546485 --> 00:04:15,316.99546485 Yes, sweetheart. 46 00:04:15,316.99546485 --> 00:04:16,966.99546485 It is totally okay. 47 00:04:17,296.99546485 --> 00:04:24,136.99546485 You don't need to perform a full spiritual exorcism just to press play. 48 00:04:24,296.99546485 --> 00:04:31,526.99546485 if you haven't started to listen in right now, now is the time to start thinking about what I'm talking about. 49 00:04:31,826.99546485 --> 00:04:33,296.99546485 Stop apologizing. 50 00:04:33,296.99546485 --> 00:04:35,366.99546485 it is an apology epidemic. 51 00:04:35,546.99546485 --> 00:04:40,946.99546485 We've confused responsibility with guilt. 52 00:04:41,606.99546485 --> 00:04:45,896.99546485 Thus the name of this podcast, radical Responsibility. 53 00:04:46,376.99546485 --> 00:04:54,916.99546485 When we layer it in and we get confused with guilt and feeling sorry, we've turned compassion into saviorism. 54 00:04:56,711.99546485 --> 00:05:10,706.99546485 I can assure you if you're feeling sorry for any sect, right? I'm not here to define each and every one of them, but if you've turned compassion into saviorism, this is not good for you or the person that you're feeling sorry for. 55 00:05:10,971.99546485 --> 00:05:17,871.99546485 somewhere in between we made feeling sorry for someone, an actual virtue. 56 00:05:18,351.99546485 --> 00:05:28,671.99546485 I am here to tell you as loudly as I can, feeling sorry for someone does not serve you or them. 57 00:05:29,331.99546485 --> 00:05:31,911.99546485 So let me tell you what, feeling sorry for people. 58 00:05:32,241.99546485 --> 00:05:33,591.99546485 Doesn't do. 59 00:05:33,721.99546485 --> 00:05:42,31.99546485 the biggest thing about radical responsibility is taking responsibility not only for yourself, but not taking responsibility for somebody else. 60 00:05:42,31.99546485 --> 00:05:51,971.99546485 Radical responsibility is about you, your behavior, and your feelings, when you feel sorry, and you are in this saviorism mode, it doesn't feed them. 61 00:05:52,781.99546485 --> 00:05:59,281.99546485 And I'm gonna explain to you why, when you think, oh, I give money to these beautiful charities that feed them, no, it doesn't feed them. 62 00:05:59,491.99546485 --> 00:06:05,461.99546485 It doesn't empower them and it doesn't help them rise. 63 00:06:05,911.99546485 --> 00:06:18,811.99546485 What it does do is subtly, and I want you to hear this so clearly, it subtly reinforces that you think that they are beneath you. 64 00:06:19,276.99546485 --> 00:06:20,356.99546485 I wanna say that again. 65 00:06:20,926.99546485 --> 00:06:26,556.99546485 It subtly reinforces that you think that they are beneath you. 66 00:06:26,636.99546485 --> 00:06:28,256.99546485 if you feel sorry for somebody. 67 00:06:29,261.99546485 --> 00:06:35,291.99546485 You in effect are saying, I have more than you, therefore I can help you. 68 00:06:35,501.99546485 --> 00:06:38,591.99546485 That is the epitome of narcissism. 69 00:06:38,711.99546485 --> 00:06:47,281.99546485 Literally, it's a superiority complex with, a halo because you think you're doing something for them. 70 00:06:47,401.99546485 --> 00:06:50,281.99546485 The reality isn't, you are not. 71 00:06:50,701.99546485 --> 00:06:55,471.99546485 When you feel sorry for someone, you actually shrink them. 72 00:06:56,551.99546485 --> 00:07:00,871.99546485 When you feel sorry for yourself, you actually shrink you. 73 00:07:01,271.99546485 --> 00:07:04,361.99546485 we have to get out of this crazy modality. 74 00:07:04,751.99546485 --> 00:07:08,171.99546485 Stop believing that there's a halo because you're doing it. 75 00:07:09,11.99546485 --> 00:07:12,731.99546485 And I'm gonna give you an example from nature because I love nature. 76 00:07:12,911.99546485 --> 00:07:18,701.99546485 If you listen to any of my podcasts or read my book, it is so much about watching nature. 77 00:07:18,701.99546485 --> 00:07:31,836.99546485 What does nature have to share with us? Chickens? Yes, chickens, one of the most fascinating things that anybody can do is watch chickens being hatched. 78 00:07:32,16.99546485 --> 00:07:38,556.99546485 I recently had an opportunity to go to my niece's private school, and they had an incubator with chickens. 79 00:07:38,556.99546485 --> 00:07:40,366.99546485 Now, incubators, maybe, maybe not. 80 00:07:40,366.99546485 --> 00:07:43,706.99546485 But the fact of the matter is, it was in a contained area. 81 00:07:43,706.99546485 --> 00:07:46,186.99546485 You could see it in, a chicken coop if you wanted to. 82 00:07:47,311.99546485 --> 00:08:00,851.99546485 when a chick is hatching from an egg, and I hope most people have learned this, but I'm going to share with you if you haven't, if you try to help it by feeling sorry for it. 83 00:08:00,881.99546485 --> 00:08:02,141.99546485 like, oh, It can't crack the shell. 84 00:08:02,351.99546485 --> 00:08:11,511.99546485 If you get in there and start to monkey around with it and help it crack the shell, you actually ruin its chance to live. 85 00:08:12,401.99546485 --> 00:08:19,551.99546485 You cannot help nature bypass the struggle that it has to go through to come into existence. 86 00:08:19,551.99546485 --> 00:08:22,251.99546485 A chicken is a perfect example of that. 87 00:08:22,941.99546485 --> 00:08:24,741.99546485 Butterflies coming out of cocoons. 88 00:08:24,981.99546485 --> 00:08:26,601.99546485 Turtles coming out of the ocean. 89 00:08:26,601.99546485 --> 00:08:28,611.99546485 I mean, it's really remarkable. 90 00:08:28,851.99546485 --> 00:08:35,841.99546485 If you look at nature, nature is designed to give you an opportunity to thrive. 91 00:08:35,901.99546485 --> 00:08:45,681.99546485 And when somebody interferes with the natural process, you lose that ability to thrive because the struggle strengthens. 92 00:08:45,681.99546485 --> 00:08:49,791.99546485 In this case, with chickens it strengthens its lungs. 93 00:08:50,196.99546485 --> 00:08:55,206.99546485 It's legs, it's beak, and it's spirit. 94 00:08:55,506.99546485 --> 00:09:01,896.99546485 So when we feel sorry for somebody, we are circumventing nature. 95 00:09:03,6.99546485 --> 00:09:06,516.99546485 Humans are no different because we are part of nature. 96 00:09:06,726.99546485 --> 00:09:15,6.99546485 This is why it's so important to get out into nature and to see the modeling of how we can show up in life. 97 00:09:15,336.99546485 --> 00:09:21,986.99546485 The rose doesn't ask to bloom the trees don't, hold each other in resentment and say, you have more than I do. 98 00:09:22,166.99546485 --> 00:09:25,586.99546485 It doesn't say, I don't like the way that you breeze in the wind. 99 00:09:25,636.99546485 --> 00:09:30,256.99546485 it's incredible how we as humans, have lost our connection to nature. 100 00:09:30,976.99546485 --> 00:09:40,936.99546485 But when we feel sorry for someone, you rob them of the very muscle that they are trying to build in this lifetime. 101 00:09:41,956.99546485 --> 00:09:42,826.99546485 I wanna say that again. 102 00:09:43,66.99546485 --> 00:09:50,506.99546485 When you feel sorry for someone, you rob them of the very muscle they're trying to build in this lifetime. 103 00:09:50,536.99546485 --> 00:09:53,206.99546485 And guess what? You don't know what that is. 104 00:09:53,206.99546485 --> 00:09:56,896.99546485 The only one you know what muscle you're building in this lifetime is you. 105 00:09:58,381.99546485 --> 00:10:11,531.99546485 Even if you're a coach or a therapist, you can shed insight your opinion, but you don't know what the person you're talking to and feeling sorry for came into this lifetime to experience. 106 00:10:11,921.99546485 --> 00:10:19,31.99546485 You don't know what soul contract they signed, and frankly, it's none of your business. 107 00:10:20,261.99546485 --> 00:10:29,471.99546485 It's about you being a model for them, you don't know what breakthrough anybody else is on the verge of having. 108 00:10:29,861.99546485 --> 00:10:31,571.99546485 You just don't. 109 00:10:31,961.99546485 --> 00:10:36,701.99546485 And to presume that you do again is very ego testicle. 110 00:10:37,361.99546485 --> 00:10:39,521.99546485 So many people, I see this all the time. 111 00:10:39,521.99546485 --> 00:10:45,701.99546485 Rushing in with your metaphorical blanket and a bowl of soup and a, sorry, look on your face. 112 00:10:46,571.99546485 --> 00:10:51,821.99546485 No one actually, if you think about it, wants somebody to feel sorry for them. 113 00:10:52,331.99546485 --> 00:10:56,831.99546485 They may say they do, but it gives no credibility to them as a human. 114 00:10:57,761.99546485 --> 00:11:13,571.99546485 So guess what? Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is say, I believe in you enough to let you walk through this, and I'll be right here. 115 00:11:14,261.99546485 --> 00:11:25,421.99546485 When you rise, when you choose to take the steps forward that are gonna propel you to see and feel the authentic you. 116 00:11:26,846.99546485 --> 00:11:28,526.99546485 So I wanna say that again. 117 00:11:28,526.99546485 --> 00:11:35,306.99546485 Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is say, I believe in you enough to let you walk through this. 118 00:11:35,936.99546485 --> 00:11:41,516.99546485 You can be there to give a hand up, but stop giving a hand out. 119 00:11:42,326.99546485 --> 00:11:51,746.99546485 This whole notion of virtue signaling, it gets me a little hot and bothered because the truth is it's the new narcissism. 120 00:11:52,646.99546485 --> 00:11:54,506.99546485 Oh yes, we are going there. 121 00:11:55,166.99546485 --> 00:12:01,196.99546485 Narcissism and virtue signaling all these hashtags and performative pity parties. 122 00:12:01,286.99546485 --> 00:12:02,936.99546485 Oh my goodness. 123 00:12:03,146.99546485 --> 00:12:04,106.99546485 I can't watch it. 124 00:12:04,106.99546485 --> 00:12:04,556.99546485 Honestly. 125 00:12:04,556.99546485 --> 00:12:09,611.99546485 I think that's the best thing for me to do is just to stop watching it because it's not generosity. 126 00:12:10,436.99546485 --> 00:12:32,196.99546485 It is not generosity, it's ego in a Halloween costume, if you are so egoic that you think I have so much more than this other person, therefore I have to feel sorry for them and help them with a hand out, Your ego is really dressed up in a Halloween costume and you're calling it a halo. 127 00:12:33,246.99546485 --> 00:12:46,776.99546485 You feel better about yourself because you posted the GoFundMe link? No, this is the thing is we have lost our way, and if you think about nature, it's survival of the fittest. 128 00:12:46,806.99546485 --> 00:12:55,176.99546485 I'm not saying we need to let people die, but the fact of the matter is that every single human on this planet, including all sentient beans. 129 00:12:56,601.99546485 --> 00:12:59,781.99546485 Have the ability to make choices. 130 00:12:59,961.99546485 --> 00:13:02,451.99546485 Their choices, not your choices. 131 00:13:02,751.99546485 --> 00:13:11,771.99546485 So just because you sleep better at night because you voted for something you think will help the poor does not do anything of the kind. 132 00:13:12,161.99546485 --> 00:13:16,61.99546485 It's you satiating your conscience. 133 00:13:16,271.99546485 --> 00:13:20,356.99546485 you're feeling sorry for yourself that I have so much more than somebody else. 134 00:13:21,431.99546485 --> 00:13:42,611.99546485 Claim that, and then acknowledge that you can be a role model for somebody, and God, don't get me started on celebrities, weeping into their camera lenses in air conditioned mansions because they feel sorry for immigrants, homeless people, or any other category of people. 135 00:13:42,731.99546485 --> 00:13:49,631.99546485 I find it so offensive that people that have tons of money wanna talk as if they can relate. 136 00:13:50,366.99546485 --> 00:13:55,406.99546485 To me or anybody else, that's not where they are. 137 00:13:55,766.99546485 --> 00:14:02,186.99546485 This is what's really egotistical is that they come from these places. 138 00:14:02,996.99546485 --> 00:14:08,516.99546485 Chuck Schumer talking about no crime in DC when he is got 26 security guards around him. 139 00:14:09,746.99546485 --> 00:14:14,936.99546485 And he's walking around one of these, you know, gated communities about, oh my God, it's so beautiful. 140 00:14:14,936.99546485 --> 00:14:15,776.99546485 I walk in the morning. 141 00:14:15,776.99546485 --> 00:14:20,696.99546485 Meanwhile, people are being raped and murdered and carjacked on a regular basis. 142 00:14:20,696.99546485 --> 00:14:24,226.99546485 They have the highest murder rate in the world in DC Sorry. 143 00:14:24,226.99546485 --> 00:14:25,306.99546485 Is not a strategy. 144 00:14:25,396.99546485 --> 00:14:26,596.99546485 This is what I want you to hear. 145 00:14:26,626.99546485 --> 00:14:27,436.99546485 Sorry. 146 00:14:27,466.99546485 --> 00:14:32,326.99546485 Is not a strategy radical responsibility. 147 00:14:32,641.99546485 --> 00:14:47,281.99546485 Is when you take radical responsibility for your own life, you then stand as a beacon, as a role model for those people that you may perceive as struggling or that's just their desire to be that way in their life. 148 00:14:47,471.99546485 --> 00:14:53,621.99546485 we have to stop imposing our version of the world upon everybody else. 149 00:14:54,71.99546485 --> 00:14:59,271.99546485 And part of that radical responsibility is recognizing true empowerment. 150 00:14:59,931.99546485 --> 00:15:03,921.99546485 Doesn't come from throwing money at a problem. 151 00:15:04,311.99546485 --> 00:15:05,841.99546485 It just doesn't. 152 00:15:06,171.99546485 --> 00:15:09,891.99546485 And if you read my book, you understand that money is just an energy. 153 00:15:10,41.99546485 --> 00:15:18,891.99546485 So throwing money at a problem is not truly coming at it with the energy that will empower somebody else. 154 00:15:19,791.99546485 --> 00:15:23,31.99546485 It comes from modeling something better. 155 00:15:23,481.99546485 --> 00:15:29,556.99546485 So how are you modeling radical responsibility? Hmm. 156 00:15:30,156.99546485 --> 00:15:30,996.99546485 Good question. 157 00:15:31,626.99546485 --> 00:15:33,786.99546485 You know, self pity is still pity. 158 00:15:34,506.99546485 --> 00:15:34,956.99546485 Pity. 159 00:15:35,16.99546485 --> 00:15:40,416.99546485 Who wants to be pitied? Have you ever heard about that? Somebody says, you're gonna send me on a pity date, or this is a pity offer. 160 00:15:40,656.99546485 --> 00:15:48,576.99546485 Nobody wants to be pitied, but we say we feel sorry for somebody, and then somehow or another that's just cloaked pity. 161 00:15:48,666.99546485 --> 00:15:49,626.99546485 It truly is. 162 00:15:49,986.99546485 --> 00:15:51,966.99546485 Let's flip that mirror for a second. 163 00:15:52,176.99546485 --> 00:16:06,381.99546485 How often do you feel sorry for yourself? Well, I started the podcast out by saying I have felt a little sorry for myself lately, right? It's poor me. 164 00:16:06,381.99546485 --> 00:16:08,31.99546485 I don't have enough time. 165 00:16:08,331.99546485 --> 00:16:09,741.99546485 Poor me. 166 00:16:09,861.99546485 --> 00:16:12,981.99546485 No one helps me, poor me. 167 00:16:12,981.99546485 --> 00:16:15,501.99546485 I've done everything and still haven't succeeded. 168 00:16:16,926.99546485 --> 00:16:20,496.99546485 I loved in 12 step programs in Alcoholics Anonymous. 169 00:16:20,496.99546485 --> 00:16:23,676.99546485 They would say, poor me, poor me. 170 00:16:23,766.99546485 --> 00:16:25,356.99546485 Pour me another drink. 171 00:16:25,536.99546485 --> 00:16:26,706.99546485 That's what that is. 172 00:16:27,96.99546485 --> 00:16:29,316.99546485 Poor pity me. 173 00:16:29,466.99546485 --> 00:16:34,416.99546485 Does nothing for you and it doesn't do anything for the other person that you're feeling. 174 00:16:34,416.99546485 --> 00:16:35,496.99546485 Sorry for that. 175 00:16:35,496.99546485 --> 00:16:41,706.9954649 You pity them because you are not alone, but you're not helpless. 176 00:16:42,276.9954649 --> 00:16:45,726.9954649 This is what's so important to get really clearly. 177 00:16:46,206.9954649 --> 00:16:50,196.9954649 You are not helpless, you are not choiceless. 178 00:16:50,346.9954649 --> 00:16:52,416.9954649 There is always an option. 179 00:16:52,416.9954649 --> 00:16:58,416.9954649 There is always infinite potentiality for anything that you find yourself in. 180 00:16:58,656.9954649 --> 00:17:03,516.9954649 So feeling sorry for yourself is just another form of ego. 181 00:17:03,846.9954649 --> 00:17:05,846.9954649 It's a, roadblock. 182 00:17:06,746.9954649 --> 00:17:07,741.9954649 It's a stuckness. 183 00:17:08,336.9954649 --> 00:17:17,456.9954649 So we have to begin to unstick ourselves in these ways that allow us to see how beautiful life really is. 184 00:17:18,126.9954649 --> 00:17:19,626.9954649 pity feeling. 185 00:17:19,626.9954649 --> 00:17:20,406.9954649 Sorry. 186 00:17:20,676.9954649 --> 00:17:30,306.9954649 All of that keeps you small, it keeps you spinning, and it keeps you from asking the real questions. 187 00:17:30,576.9954649 --> 00:17:32,166.9954649 So here's a couple of questions for you. 188 00:17:32,976.9954649 --> 00:17:50,466.9954649 What am I tolerating that no longer serves me? I know that that's a big question, but just answer one thing and you're gonna begin to unfold a story for yourself that you can then begin to move through. 189 00:17:50,886.9954649 --> 00:17:51,996.9954649 I'll ask that again. 190 00:17:52,386.9954649 --> 00:17:58,596.9954649 What are you tolerating that no longer serves you? These are the important questions. 191 00:18:00,111.9954649 --> 00:18:00,981.9954649 Here's another one. 192 00:18:01,71.9954649 --> 00:18:26,796.9954649 What am I available for starting now? It's interesting because we don't ask ourselves these open-ended questions that are about your imagination, that open you to begin to imagine what if this is possible for me? What am I available for starting now? And this one is really fabulous. 193 00:18:27,96.9954649 --> 00:18:37,416.9954649 Who am I when I stop performing victimhood and start practicing power, not power over others. 194 00:18:37,656.9954649 --> 00:18:44,136.9954649 Your own personal power? Because feeling sorry for somebody is you practicing power over. 195 00:18:44,376.9954649 --> 00:18:47,286.9954649 No one should be practicing power over. 196 00:18:47,886.9954649 --> 00:18:49,986.9954649 It should be power within. 197 00:18:50,226.9954649 --> 00:19:03,906.9954649 Where does that come from? That comes from you letting go of your victimhood, your shame, your poverty mindset, your lack mentality, and practicing your own internal power. 198 00:19:04,476.9954649 --> 00:19:14,136.9954649 And this is where I come in because I am the trigger for so many people, but it's because I come from tough love. 199 00:19:14,826.9954649 --> 00:19:22,326.9954649 Tough love says, I see your struggle and I also see your power. 200 00:19:23,236.9954649 --> 00:19:27,286.9954649 when I trigger people, it's because they have those triggers already installed. 201 00:19:27,286.9954649 --> 00:19:31,786.9954649 I like to say that I'm part of the bomb squad because I can detonate your trigger. 202 00:19:32,401.9954649 --> 00:19:35,641.9954649 Or we can diffuse it just like the bomb squad does. 203 00:19:35,641.9954649 --> 00:19:44,301.9954649 Sometimes they have to detonate the bomb within a confined area just to get rid of it or deactivate it. 204 00:19:44,661.9954649 --> 00:19:49,161.9954649 But I see your power and that is the most important part. 205 00:19:49,161.9954649 --> 00:19:53,751.9954649 Tough love says, I see your struggle, but I also see your power. 206 00:19:53,781.9954649 --> 00:19:55,971.9954649 I don't buy into your story. 207 00:19:56,76.9954649 --> 00:20:00,606.9954649 I won't let you off the hook of your own greatness. 208 00:20:01,686.9954649 --> 00:20:04,56.9954649 I'm not gonna let you off the hook of your own greatness. 209 00:20:04,656.9954649 --> 00:20:12,996.9954649 That's what I needed when I was broke sick on food stamps and still trying to teach abundance. 210 00:20:13,716.9954649 --> 00:20:16,686.9954649 I was living a lie. 211 00:20:17,936.9954649 --> 00:20:21,266.9954649 outwardly it looked like that, but I knew my true abundance inside. 212 00:20:21,266.9954649 --> 00:20:35,126.9954649 And guess what? That's what turned everything into what is happening today, is to recognize that I saw my own power that had not left, that I had turned a blind eye to it. 213 00:20:36,446.9954649 --> 00:20:39,356.9954649 I didn't need someone to feel sorry for me. 214 00:20:41,126.9954649 --> 00:20:44,246.9954649 I needed someone to say, get up, queen. 215 00:20:44,726.9954649 --> 00:20:48,56.9954649 You are not done yet. 216 00:20:48,746.9954649 --> 00:20:51,296.9954649 And boy, oh boy, I have not been done. 217 00:20:51,626.9954649 --> 00:20:56,366.9954649 And it has been a ride of monumental proportions. 218 00:20:57,626.9954649 --> 00:21:08,716.9954649 So I encourage you to get the book, because now there's a second book rooted in Wealth, it's important to realize that I don't care where you are, what you've been through, you still have that internal power. 219 00:21:08,926.9954649 --> 00:21:10,426.9954649 You still have your inner billionaire. 220 00:21:11,71.9954649 --> 00:21:15,271.9954649 So start practicing sacred support, not pity. 221 00:21:16,151.9954649 --> 00:21:17,861.9954649 stop feeling sorry for someone. 222 00:21:17,861.9954649 --> 00:21:20,231.9954649 And start replacing the word, sorry. 223 00:21:20,951.9954649 --> 00:21:22,871.9954649 With thank you. 224 00:21:24,551.9954649 --> 00:21:26,801.9954649 Every time you wanna say sorry, say thank you. 225 00:21:27,461.9954649 --> 00:21:32,881.9954649 And you're gonna begin to see how often you say, sorry, But number two, how much power Thank you. 226 00:21:32,886.9954649 --> 00:21:33,36.9954649 Has. 227 00:21:34,501.9954649 --> 00:21:35,761.9954649 Thank you for waiting. 228 00:21:36,961.9954649 --> 00:21:38,461.9954649 Thank you for asking. 229 00:21:39,331.9954649 --> 00:21:45,631.9954649 Thank you for being patient while I became a whole damn vibe. 230 00:21:46,111.9954649 --> 00:21:53,656.9954649 You are the most incredible experiences on the planet if you open up to it. 231 00:21:54,786.9954649 --> 00:21:57,336.9954649 please stop walking into rooms. 232 00:21:57,396.9954649 --> 00:22:04,596.9954649 Apologizing for being too much, too little, too fat, too small, too tall, too anything. 233 00:22:05,586.9954649 --> 00:22:15,126.9954649 Walk into a room like you are the podcast, and everyone is lucky to be tuned in to you. 234 00:22:16,476.9954649 --> 00:22:19,776.9954649 And if this message lets something up inside of you. 235 00:22:20,556.9954649 --> 00:22:27,816.9954649 Come be with us in the inner billionaire circle because this world doesn't need more women saying, sorry. 236 00:22:28,506.9954649 --> 00:22:36,36.9954649 It needs more women walking with soul, with fire, and with intentional magic. 237 00:22:36,996.9954649 --> 00:22:42,696.9954649 If you want anything to do with all of the things that I shared, there's links in the show notes. 238 00:22:43,581.9954649 --> 00:23:01,821.9954649 The inner Billionaire Circle is available through the end of August, and for now, let me remind you, stop feeling sorry for anything or anyone and go change the world, queen of
Welcome to the Radical Responsibility Revolution podcast.
(00:04):
This is where we are transforming lives, inspiring you to reclaim your health, your wealth, and the power of your mind.
Here we share actionable insights, inviting you to turn inwards and design your life of purpose and abundance. 4 00:00:30,551.995464853 --> 00:00:31,901.995464853 Welcome back. 5 00:00:31,901.995464853 --> 00:00:39,581.995464853 It's Debbie Dobbins and I am here to share another episode of The Radical Responsibility Revolution. 6 00:00:39,611.995464853 --> 00:00:42,851.995464853 before we dive into the cheeky truth telling today. 7 00:00:43,226.995464853 --> 00:01:00,346.995464853 I wanna let you know, about this sizzling hot summer offer, my inner billionaire circle because the sacred sisterhood of women reclaiming power, prosperity, and joy through intentional living is on fire right now. 8 00:01:00,346.995464853 --> 00:01:02,146.995464853 it's normally $99 a month. 9 00:01:02,146.995464853 --> 00:01:10,851.995464853 It's a year long program and It takes you from looking at who you are being right now and where you want to go in an incredibly powerful way. 10 00:01:10,851.995464853 --> 00:01:14,301.995464853 So until the end of the month, it's only $79 a month. 11 00:01:14,351.995464853 --> 00:01:16,871.995464853 I encourage you to sign up in the show notes. 12 00:01:16,871.995464853 --> 00:01:20,706.995464853 The link is there because when women rise together, we don't wait for permiss. 13 00:01:21,366.995464853 --> 00:01:31,746.995464853 We create momentum, you're gonna get monthly masterclasses, live mentoring with me and a circle of powerhouse women who are done playing small. 14 00:01:31,956.995464853 --> 00:01:33,726.995464853 So check out the links in the show notes. 15 00:01:34,666.995464853 --> 00:01:39,166.995464853 I wanna talk about today, honestly, I've been feeling a little sorry for myself. 16 00:01:39,926.995464853 --> 00:01:42,506.99546485 we go into these things of feeling sorry for ourselves. 17 00:01:42,506.99546485 --> 00:01:49,951.99546485 Like, why is this happening to me? If you listen to any of my podcasts, you read my book, you know that we're all here creating our own experience. 18 00:01:50,461.99546485 --> 00:02:06,1.99546485 But this epidemic that's sweeping the world actually faster than any virus and definitely more contagious, is about saying, I'm sorry, and then saying I'm sorry for other people, feeling sorry for somebody. 19 00:02:06,211.99546485 --> 00:02:12,361.99546485 And I think it's really interesting because I've noticed people apologize for literally. 20 00:02:12,661.99546485 --> 00:02:13,351.99546485 Everything. 21 00:02:13,351.99546485 --> 00:02:18,421.99546485 Now, have you noticed that you bump into them and they say, oh my God, I'm so sorry. 22 00:02:18,751.99546485 --> 00:02:26,311.99546485 I'm like, what are you sorry for? Standing, breathing, occupying a carbon footprint. 23 00:02:26,641.99546485 --> 00:02:39,391.99546485 We are living in the age of weaponized politeness, and that then will lead into this whole conversation that I want to have around feeling sorry for other people, other things, other experiences. 24 00:02:40,351.99546485 --> 00:02:46,171.99546485 And listen, we're all feeling sorry for ourselves in a lot of these cases, so get ready for some truth bumps. 25 00:02:46,321.99546485 --> 00:02:51,781.99546485 I call it spiritual codependency with better lighting. 26 00:02:52,81.99546485 --> 00:02:55,81.99546485 People say sorry, like it's a punctuation. 27 00:02:55,761.99546485 --> 00:02:57,351.99546485 I'm sorry, but I have a question. 28 00:02:58,11.99546485 --> 00:03:01,851.99546485 I'm sorry I didn't respond to your text from 2017. 29 00:03:02,331.99546485 --> 00:03:03,171.99546485 I'm sorry. 30 00:03:03,291.99546485 --> 00:03:11,1.99546485 I'm taking up space with my energy, my voice, my womb wisdom, my whole entire existence, literally. 31 00:03:11,61.99546485 --> 00:03:13,431.99546485 And women do this more than anybody. 32 00:03:13,971.99546485 --> 00:03:24,951.99546485 So look babe, unless you've declared war on a small nation or eaten the last cookie at a woman's retreat, you don't need to apologize. 33 00:03:25,606.99546485 --> 00:03:33,76.99546485 I had this woman message me the other day after a live stream, and she says this, I'm so sorry. 34 00:03:33,286.99546485 --> 00:03:34,876.99546485 I know I'm probably bothering you. 35 00:03:35,146.99546485 --> 00:03:36,766.99546485 I should be more grateful. 36 00:03:36,916.99546485 --> 00:03:39,916.99546485 Maybe I need to heal something before I even ask this. 37 00:03:39,916.99546485 --> 00:03:46,336.99546485 But y'all, I thought she was about to ask me to borrow a kidney. 38 00:03:47,266.99546485 --> 00:03:47,836.99546485 Nope. 39 00:03:48,496.99546485 --> 00:03:51,506.99546485 She wanted to know if I had a podcast. 40 00:03:51,866.99546485 --> 00:04:02,696.99546485 I understand that if you're listening to this, you know, I have a podcast, but I had literally just promoted the podcast on the live stream she was watching. 41 00:04:03,386.99546485 --> 00:04:07,226.99546485 So part of what we're talking about is people don't listen anymore. 42 00:04:07,276.99546485 --> 00:04:08,836.99546485 And of course, I responded. 43 00:04:09,766.99546485 --> 00:04:12,796.99546485 Like the recovering people pleaser. 44 00:04:12,796.99546485 --> 00:04:13,516.99546485 I am. 45 00:04:14,56.99546485 --> 00:04:15,316.99546485 Yes, sweetheart. 46 00:04:15,316.99546485 --> 00:04:16,966.99546485 It is totally okay. 47 00:04:17,296.99546485 --> 00:04:24,136.99546485 You don't need to perform a full spiritual exorcism just to press play. 48 00:04:24,296.99546485 --> 00:04:31,526.99546485 if you haven't started to listen in right now, now is the time to start thinking about what I'm talking about. 49 00:04:31,826.99546485 --> 00:04:33,296.99546485 Stop apologizing. 50 00:04:33,296.99546485 --> 00:04:35,366.99546485 it is an apology epidemic. 51 00:04:35,546.99546485 --> 00:04:40,946.99546485 We've confused responsibility with guilt. 52 00:04:41,606.99546485 --> 00:04:45,896.99546485 Thus the name of this podcast, radical Responsibility. 53 00:04:46,376.99546485 --> 00:04:54,916.99546485 When we layer it in and we get confused with guilt and feeling sorry, we've turned compassion into saviorism. 54 00:04:56,711.99546485 --> 00:05:10,706.99546485 I can assure you if you're feeling sorry for any sect, right? I'm not here to define each and every one of them, but if you've turned compassion into saviorism, this is not good for you or the person that you're feeling sorry for. 55 00:05:10,971.99546485 --> 00:05:17,871.99546485 somewhere in between we made feeling sorry for someone, an actual virtue. 56 00:05:18,351.99546485 --> 00:05:28,671.99546485 I am here to tell you as loudly as I can, feeling sorry for someone does not serve you or them. 57 00:05:29,331.99546485 --> 00:05:31,911.99546485 So let me tell you what, feeling sorry for people. 58 00:05:32,241.99546485 --> 00:05:33,591.99546485 Doesn't do. 59 00:05:33,721.99546485 --> 00:05:42,31.99546485 the biggest thing about radical responsibility is taking responsibility not only for yourself, but not taking responsibility for somebody else. 60 00:05:42,31.99546485 --> 00:05:51,971.99546485 Radical responsibility is about you, your behavior, and your feelings, when you feel sorry, and you are in this saviorism mode, it doesn't feed them. 61 00:05:52,781.99546485 --> 00:05:59,281.99546485 And I'm gonna explain to you why, when you think, oh, I give money to these beautiful charities that feed them, no, it doesn't feed them. 62 00:05:59,491.99546485 --> 00:06:05,461.99546485 It doesn't empower them and it doesn't help them rise. 63 00:06:05,911.99546485 --> 00:06:18,811.99546485 What it does do is subtly, and I want you to hear this so clearly, it subtly reinforces that you think that they are beneath you. 64 00:06:19,276.99546485 --> 00:06:20,356.99546485 I wanna say that again. 65 00:06:20,926.99546485 --> 00:06:26,556.99546485 It subtly reinforces that you think that they are beneath you. 66 00:06:26,636.99546485 --> 00:06:28,256.99546485 if you feel sorry for somebody. 67 00:06:29,261.99546485 --> 00:06:35,291.99546485 You in effect are saying, I have more than you, therefore I can help you. 68 00:06:35,501.99546485 --> 00:06:38,591.99546485 That is the epitome of narcissism. 69 00:06:38,711.99546485 --> 00:06:47,281.99546485 Literally, it's a superiority complex with, a halo because you think you're doing something for them. 70 00:06:47,401.99546485 --> 00:06:50,281.99546485 The reality isn't, you are not. 71 00:06:50,701.99546485 --> 00:06:55,471.99546485 When you feel sorry for someone, you actually shrink them. 72 00:06:56,551.99546485 --> 00:07:00,871.99546485 When you feel sorry for yourself, you actually shrink you. 73 00:07:01,271.99546485 --> 00:07:04,361.99546485 we have to get out of this crazy modality. 74 00:07:04,751.99546485 --> 00:07:08,171.99546485 Stop believing that there's a halo because you're doing it. 75 00:07:09,11.99546485 --> 00:07:12,731.99546485 And I'm gonna give you an example from nature because I love nature. 76 00:07:12,911.99546485 --> 00:07:18,701.99546485 If you listen to any of my podcasts or read my book, it is so much about watching nature. 77 00:07:18,701.99546485 --> 00:07:31,836.99546485 What does nature have to share with us? Chickens? Yes, chickens, one of the most fascinating things that anybody can do is watch chickens being hatched. 78 00:07:32,16.99546485 --> 00:07:38,556.99546485 I recently had an opportunity to go to my niece's private school, and they had an incubator with chickens. 79 00:07:38,556.99546485 --> 00:07:40,366.99546485 Now, incubators, maybe, maybe not. 80 00:07:40,366.99546485 --> 00:07:43,706.99546485 But the fact of the matter is, it was in a contained area. 81 00:07:43,706.99546485 --> 00:07:46,186.99546485 You could see it in, a chicken coop if you wanted to. 82 00:07:47,311.99546485 --> 00:08:00,851.99546485 when a chick is hatching from an egg, and I hope most people have learned this, but I'm going to share with you if you haven't, if you try to help it by feeling sorry for it. 83 00:08:00,881.99546485 --> 00:08:02,141.99546485 like, oh, It can't crack the shell. 84 00:08:02,351.99546485 --> 00:08:11,511.99546485 If you get in there and start to monkey around with it and help it crack the shell, you actually ruin its chance to live. 85 00:08:12,401.99546485 --> 00:08:19,551.99546485 You cannot help nature bypass the struggle that it has to go through to come into existence. 86 00:08:19,551.99546485 --> 00:08:22,251.99546485 A chicken is a perfect example of that. 87 00:08:22,941.99546485 --> 00:08:24,741.99546485 Butterflies coming out of cocoons. 88 00:08:24,981.99546485 --> 00:08:26,601.99546485 Turtles coming out of the ocean. 89 00:08:26,601.99546485 --> 00:08:28,611.99546485 I mean, it's really remarkable. 90 00:08:28,851.99546485 --> 00:08:35,841.99546485 If you look at nature, nature is designed to give you an opportunity to thrive. 91 00:08:35,901.99546485 --> 00:08:45,681.99546485 And when somebody interferes with the natural process, you lose that ability to thrive because the struggle strengthens. 92 00:08:45,681.99546485 --> 00:08:49,791.99546485 In this case, with chickens it strengthens its lungs. 93 00:08:50,196.99546485 --> 00:08:55,206.99546485 It's legs, it's beak, and it's spirit. 94 00:08:55,506.99546485 --> 00:09:01,896.99546485 So when we feel sorry for somebody, we are circumventing nature. 95 00:09:03,6.99546485 --> 00:09:06,516.99546485 Humans are no different because we are part of nature. 96 00:09:06,726.99546485 --> 00:09:15,6.99546485 This is why it's so important to get out into nature and to see the modeling of how we can show up in life. 97 00:09:15,336.99546485 --> 00:09:21,986.99546485 The rose doesn't ask to bloom the trees don't, hold each other in resentment and say, you have more than I do. 98 00:09:22,166.99546485 --> 00:09:25,586.99546485 It doesn't say, I don't like the way that you breeze in the wind. 99 00:09:25,636.99546485 --> 00:09:30,256.99546485 it's incredible how we as humans, have lost our connection to nature. 100 00:09:30,976.99546485 --> 00:09:40,936.99546485 But when we feel sorry for someone, you rob them of the very muscle that they are trying to build in this lifetime. 101 00:09:41,956.99546485 --> 00:09:42,826.99546485 I wanna say that again. 102 00:09:43,66.99546485 --> 00:09:50,506.99546485 When you feel sorry for someone, you rob them of the very muscle they're trying to build in this lifetime. 103 00:09:50,536.99546485 --> 00:09:53,206.99546485 And guess what? You don't know what that is. 104 00:09:53,206.99546485 --> 00:09:56,896.99546485 The only one you know what muscle you're building in this lifetime is you. 105 00:09:58,381.99546485 --> 00:10:11,531.99546485 Even if you're a coach or a therapist, you can shed insight your opinion, but you don't know what the person you're talking to and feeling sorry for came into this lifetime to experience. 106 00:10:11,921.99546485 --> 00:10:19,31.99546485 You don't know what soul contract they signed, and frankly, it's none of your business. 107 00:10:20,261.99546485 --> 00:10:29,471.99546485 It's about you being a model for them, you don't know what breakthrough anybody else is on the verge of having. 108 00:10:29,861.99546485 --> 00:10:31,571.99546485 You just don't. 109 00:10:31,961.99546485 --> 00:10:36,701.99546485 And to presume that you do again is very ego testicle. 110 00:10:37,361.99546485 --> 00:10:39,521.99546485 So many people, I see this all the time. 111 00:10:39,521.99546485 --> 00:10:45,701.99546485 Rushing in with your metaphorical blanket and a bowl of soup and a, sorry, look on your face. 112 00:10:46,571.99546485 --> 00:10:51,821.99546485 No one actually, if you think about it, wants somebody to feel sorry for them. 113 00:10:52,331.99546485 --> 00:10:56,831.99546485 They may say they do, but it gives no credibility to them as a human. 114 00:10:57,761.99546485 --> 00:11:13,571.99546485 So guess what? Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is say, I believe in you enough to let you walk through this, and I'll be right here. 115 00:11:14,261.99546485 --> 00:11:25,421.99546485 When you rise, when you choose to take the steps forward that are gonna propel you to see and feel the authentic you. 116 00:11:26,846.99546485 --> 00:11:28,526.99546485 So I wanna say that again. 117 00:11:28,526.99546485 --> 00:11:35,306.99546485 Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is say, I believe in you enough to let you walk through this. 118 00:11:35,936.99546485 --> 00:11:41,516.99546485 You can be there to give a hand up, but stop giving a hand out. 119 00:11:42,326.99546485 --> 00:11:51,746.99546485 This whole notion of virtue signaling, it gets me a little hot and bothered because the truth is it's the new narcissism. 120 00:11:52,646.99546485 --> 00:11:54,506.99546485 Oh yes, we are going there. 121 00:11:55,166.99546485 --> 00:12:01,196.99546485 Narcissism and virtue signaling all these hashtags and performative pity parties. 122 00:12:01,286.99546485 --> 00:12:02,936.99546485 Oh my goodness. 123 00:12:03,146.99546485 --> 00:12:04,106.99546485 I can't watch it. 124 00:12:04,106.99546485 --> 00:12:04,556.99546485 Honestly. 125 00:12:04,556.99546485 --> 00:12:09,611.99546485 I think that's the best thing for me to do is just to stop watching it because it's not generosity. 126 00:12:10,436.99546485 --> 00:12:32,196.99546485 It is not generosity, it's ego in a Halloween costume, if you are so egoic that you think I have so much more than this other person, therefore I have to feel sorry for them and help them with a hand out, Your ego is really dressed up in a Halloween costume and you're calling it a halo. 127 00:12:33,246.99546485 --> 00:12:46,776.99546485 You feel better about yourself because you posted the GoFundMe link? No, this is the thing is we have lost our way, and if you think about nature, it's survival of the fittest. 128 00:12:46,806.99546485 --> 00:12:55,176.99546485 I'm not saying we need to let people die, but the fact of the matter is that every single human on this planet, including all sentient beans. 129 00:12:56,601.99546485 --> 00:12:59,781.99546485 Have the ability to make choices. 130 00:12:59,961.99546485 --> 00:13:02,451.99546485 Their choices, not your choices. 131 00:13:02,751.99546485 --> 00:13:11,771.99546485 So just because you sleep better at night because you voted for something you think will help the poor does not do anything of the kind. 132 00:13:12,161.99546485 --> 00:13:16,61.99546485 It's you satiating your conscience. 133 00:13:16,271.99546485 --> 00:13:20,356.99546485 you're feeling sorry for yourself that I have so much more than somebody else. 134 00:13:21,431.99546485 --> 00:13:42,611.99546485 Claim that, and then acknowledge that you can be a role model for somebody, and God, don't get me started on celebrities, weeping into their camera lenses in air conditioned mansions because they feel sorry for immigrants, homeless people, or any other category of people. 135 00:13:42,731.99546485 --> 00:13:49,631.99546485 I find it so offensive that people that have tons of money wanna talk as if they can relate. 136 00:13:50,366.99546485 --> 00:13:55,406.99546485 To me or anybody else, that's not where they are. 137 00:13:55,766.99546485 --> 00:14:02,186.99546485 This is what's really egotistical is that they come from these places. 138 00:14:02,996.99546485 --> 00:14:08,516.99546485 Chuck Schumer talking about no crime in DC when he is got 26 security guards around him. 139 00:14:09,746.99546485 --> 00:14:14,936.99546485 And he's walking around one of these, you know, gated communities about, oh my God, it's so beautiful. 140 00:14:14,936.99546485 --> 00:14:15,776.99546485 I walk in the morning. 141 00:14:15,776.99546485 --> 00:14:20,696.99546485 Meanwhile, people are being raped and murdered and carjacked on a regular basis. 142 00:14:20,696.99546485 --> 00:14:24,226.99546485 They have the highest murder rate in the world in DC Sorry. 143 00:14:24,226.99546485 --> 00:14:25,306.99546485 Is not a strategy. 144 00:14:25,396.99546485 --> 00:14:26,596.99546485 This is what I want you to hear. 145 00:14:26,626.99546485 --> 00:14:27,436.99546485 Sorry. 146 00:14:27,466.99546485 --> 00:14:32,326.99546485 Is not a strategy radical responsibility. 147 00:14:32,641.99546485 --> 00:14:47,281.99546485 Is when you take radical responsibility for your own life, you then stand as a beacon, as a role model for those people that you may perceive as struggling or that's just their desire to be that way in their life. 148 00:14:47,471.99546485 --> 00:14:53,621.99546485 we have to stop imposing our version of the world upon everybody else. 149 00:14:54,71.99546485 --> 00:14:59,271.99546485 And part of that radical responsibility is recognizing true empowerment. 150 00:14:59,931.99546485 --> 00:15:03,921.99546485 Doesn't come from throwing money at a problem. 151 00:15:04,311.99546485 --> 00:15:05,841.99546485 It just doesn't. 152 00:15:06,171.99546485 --> 00:15:09,891.99546485 And if you read my book, you understand that money is just an energy. 153 00:15:10,41.99546485 --> 00:15:18,891.99546485 So throwing money at a problem is not truly coming at it with the energy that will empower somebody else. 154 00:15:19,791.99546485 --> 00:15:23,31.99546485 It comes from modeling something better. 155 00:15:23,481.99546485 --> 00:15:29,556.99546485 So how are you modeling radical responsibility? Hmm. 156 00:15:30,156.99546485 --> 00:15:30,996.99546485 Good question. 157 00:15:31,626.99546485 --> 00:15:33,786.99546485 You know, self pity is still pity. 158 00:15:34,506.99546485 --> 00:15:34,956.99546485 Pity. 159 00:15:35,16.99546485 --> 00:15:40,416.99546485 Who wants to be pitied? Have you ever heard about that? Somebody says, you're gonna send me on a pity date, or this is a pity offer. 160 00:15:40,656.99546485 --> 00:15:48,576.99546485 Nobody wants to be pitied, but we say we feel sorry for somebody, and then somehow or another that's just cloaked pity. 161 00:15:48,666.99546485 --> 00:15:49,626.99546485 It truly is. 162 00:15:49,986.99546485 --> 00:15:51,966.99546485 Let's flip that mirror for a second. 163 00:15:52,176.99546485 --> 00:16:06,381.99546485 How often do you feel sorry for yourself? Well, I started the podcast out by saying I have felt a little sorry for myself lately, right? It's poor me. 164 00:16:06,381.99546485 --> 00:16:08,31.99546485 I don't have enough time. 165 00:16:08,331.99546485 --> 00:16:09,741.99546485 Poor me. 166 00:16:09,861.99546485 --> 00:16:12,981.99546485 No one helps me, poor me. 167 00:16:12,981.99546485 --> 00:16:15,501.99546485 I've done everything and still haven't succeeded. 168 00:16:16,926.99546485 --> 00:16:20,496.99546485 I loved in 12 step programs in Alcoholics Anonymous. 169 00:16:20,496.99546485 --> 00:16:23,676.99546485 They would say, poor me, poor me. 170 00:16:23,766.99546485 --> 00:16:25,356.99546485 Pour me another drink. 171 00:16:25,536.99546485 --> 00:16:26,706.99546485 That's what that is. 172 00:16:27,96.99546485 --> 00:16:29,316.99546485 Poor pity me. 173 00:16:29,466.99546485 --> 00:16:34,416.99546485 Does nothing for you and it doesn't do anything for the other person that you're feeling. 174 00:16:34,416.99546485 --> 00:16:35,496.99546485 Sorry for that. 175 00:16:35,496.99546485 --> 00:16:41,706.9954649 You pity them because you are not alone, but you're not helpless. 176 00:16:42,276.9954649 --> 00:16:45,726.9954649 This is what's so important to get really clearly. 177 00:16:46,206.9954649 --> 00:16:50,196.9954649 You are not helpless, you are not choiceless. 178 00:16:50,346.9954649 --> 00:16:52,416.9954649 There is always an option. 179 00:16:52,416.9954649 --> 00:16:58,416.9954649 There is always infinite potentiality for anything that you find yourself in. 180 00:16:58,656.9954649 --> 00:17:03,516.9954649 So feeling sorry for yourself is just another form of ego. 181 00:17:03,846.9954649 --> 00:17:05,846.9954649 It's a, roadblock. 182 00:17:06,746.9954649 --> 00:17:07,741.9954649 It's a stuckness. 183 00:17:08,336.9954649 --> 00:17:17,456.9954649 So we have to begin to unstick ourselves in these ways that allow us to see how beautiful life really is. 184 00:17:18,126.9954649 --> 00:17:19,626.9954649 pity feeling. 185 00:17:19,626.9954649 --> 00:17:20,406.9954649 Sorry. 186 00:17:20,676.9954649 --> 00:17:30,306.9954649 All of that keeps you small, it keeps you spinning, and it keeps you from asking the real questions. 187 00:17:30,576.9954649 --> 00:17:32,166.9954649 So here's a couple of questions for you. 188 00:17:32,976.9954649 --> 00:17:50,466.9954649 What am I tolerating that no longer serves me? I know that that's a big question, but just answer one thing and you're gonna begin to unfold a story for yourself that you can then begin to move through. 189 00:17:50,886.9954649 --> 00:17:51,996.9954649 I'll ask that again. 190 00:17:52,386.9954649 --> 00:17:58,596.9954649 What are you tolerating that no longer serves you? These are the important questions. 191 00:18:00,111.9954649 --> 00:18:00,981.9954649 Here's another one. 192 00:18:01,71.9954649 --> 00:18:26,796.9954649 What am I available for starting now? It's interesting because we don't ask ourselves these open-ended questions that are about your imagination, that open you to begin to imagine what if this is possible for me? What am I available for starting now? And this one is really fabulous. 193 00:18:27,96.9954649 --> 00:18:37,416.9954649 Who am I when I stop performing victimhood and start practicing power, not power over others. 194 00:18:37,656.9954649 --> 00:18:44,136.9954649 Your own personal power? Because feeling sorry for somebody is you practicing power over. 195 00:18:44,376.9954649 --> 00:18:47,286.9954649 No one should be practicing power over. 196 00:18:47,886.9954649 --> 00:18:49,986.9954649 It should be power within. 197 00:18:50,226.9954649 --> 00:19:03,906.9954649 Where does that come from? That comes from you letting go of your victimhood, your shame, your poverty mindset, your lack mentality, and practicing your own internal power. 198 00:19:04,476.9954649 --> 00:19:14,136.9954649 And this is where I come in because I am the trigger for so many people, but it's because I come from tough love. 199 00:19:14,826.9954649 --> 00:19:22,326.9954649 Tough love says, I see your struggle and I also see your power. 200 00:19:23,236.9954649 --> 00:19:27,286.9954649 when I trigger people, it's because they have those triggers already installed. 201 00:19:27,286.9954649 --> 00:19:31,786.9954649 I like to say that I'm part of the bomb squad because I can detonate your trigger. 202 00:19:32,401.9954649 --> 00:19:35,641.9954649 Or we can diffuse it just like the bomb squad does. 203 00:19:35,641.9954649 --> 00:19:44,301.9954649 Sometimes they have to detonate the bomb within a confined area just to get rid of it or deactivate it. 204 00:19:44,661.9954649 --> 00:19:49,161.9954649 But I see your power and that is the most important part. 205 00:19:49,161.9954649 --> 00:19:53,751.9954649 Tough love says, I see your struggle, but I also see your power. 206 00:19:53,781.9954649 --> 00:19:55,971.9954649 I don't buy into your story. 207 00:19:56,76.9954649 --> 00:20:00,606.9954649 I won't let you off the hook of your own greatness. 208 00:20:01,686.9954649 --> 00:20:04,56.9954649 I'm not gonna let you off the hook of your own greatness. 209 00:20:04,656.9954649 --> 00:20:12,996.9954649 That's what I needed when I was broke sick on food stamps and still trying to teach abundance. 210 00:20:13,716.9954649 --> 00:20:16,686.9954649 I was living a lie. 211 00:20:17,936.9954649 --> 00:20:21,266.9954649 outwardly it looked like that, but I knew my true abundance inside. 212 00:20:21,266.9954649 --> 00:20:35,126.9954649 And guess what? That's what turned everything into what is happening today, is to recognize that I saw my own power that had not left, that I had turned a blind eye to it. 213 00:20:36,446.9954649 --> 00:20:39,356.9954649 I didn't need someone to feel sorry for me. 214 00:20:41,126.9954649 --> 00:20:44,246.9954649 I needed someone to say, get up, queen. 215 00:20:44,726.9954649 --> 00:20:48,56.9954649 You are not done yet. 216 00:20:48,746.9954649 --> 00:20:51,296.9954649 And boy, oh boy, I have not been done. 217 00:20:51,626.9954649 --> 00:20:56,366.9954649 And it has been a ride of monumental proportions. 218 00:20:57,626.9954649 --> 00:21:08,716.9954649 So I encourage you to get the book, because now there's a second book rooted in Wealth, it's important to realize that I don't care where you are, what you've been through, you still have that internal power. 219 00:21:08,926.9954649 --> 00:21:10,426.9954649 You still have your inner billionaire. 220 00:21:11,71.9954649 --> 00:21:15,271.9954649 So start practicing sacred support, not pity. 221 00:21:16,151.9954649 --> 00:21:17,861.9954649 stop feeling sorry for someone. 222 00:21:17,861.9954649 --> 00:21:20,231.9954649 And start replacing the word, sorry. 223 00:21:20,951.9954649 --> 00:21:22,871.9954649 With thank you. 224 00:21:24,551.9954649 --> 00:21:26,801.9954649 Every time you wanna say sorry, say thank you. 225 00:21:27,461.9954649 --> 00:21:32,881.9954649 And you're gonna begin to see how often you say, sorry, But number two, how much power Thank you. 226 00:21:32,886.9954649 --> 00:21:33,36.9954649 Has. 227 00:21:34,501.9954649 --> 00:21:35,761.9954649 Thank you for waiting. 228 00:21:36,961.9954649 --> 00:21:38,461.9954649 Thank you for asking. 229 00:21:39,331.9954649 --> 00:21:45,631.9954649 Thank you for being patient while I became a whole damn vibe. 230 00:21:46,111.9954649 --> 00:21:53,656.9954649 You are the most incredible experiences on the planet if you open up to it. 231 00:21:54,786.9954649 --> 00:21:57,336.9954649 please stop walking into rooms. 232 00:21:57,396.9954649 --> 00:22:04,596.9954649 Apologizing for being too much, too little, too fat, too small, too tall, too anything. 233 00:22:05,586.9954649 --> 00:22:15,126.9954649 Walk into a room like you are the podcast, and everyone is lucky to be tuned in to you. 234 00:22:16,476.9954649 --> 00:22:19,776.9954649 And if this message lets something up inside of you. 235 00:22:20,556.9954649 --> 00:22:27,816.9954649 Come be with us in the inner billionaire circle because this world doesn't need more women saying, sorry. 236 00:22:28,506.9954649 --> 00:22:36,36.9954649 It needs more women walking with soul, with fire, and with intentional magic. 237 00:22:36,996.9954649 --> 00:22:42,696.9954649 If you want anything to do with all of the things that I shared, there's links in the show notes. 238 00:22:43,581.9954649 --> 00:23:01,821.9954649 The inner Billionaire Circle is available through the end of August, and for now, let me remind you, stop feeling sorry for anything or anyone and go change the world, queen of
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