#74: Why You Attract Emotionally Unavailable Men

Ever feel like you're on date #200, with the same guy?

In this episode, Hilary breaks down emotional unavailability for what it actually is: a lack of real intimacy. If you're attracting men who can't go deep, there's a reason. And it may have more to do with you than you think.

For high-functioning women especially, this is a sneaky blind spot. You might be warm, flirty, and fun—but still totally guarded. You might talk about your emotions, but not feel them in real time. And that performative intimacy? It’s what keeps real connection out of reach.

 

Episode Highlights:

• Why emotional unavailability isn’t just a “man” problem
• The two biggest reasons people avoid true intimacy
• The subtle difference between being expressive and actually being emotionally available
• How to finally break the pattern by turning inward

 

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Why “200 First Dates” Is a Red Flag 01:51 What Emotional Availability Actually Means 02:45 Fear of Vulnerability and Rejection 04:19 Emotional Expression Is a Learnable Skill 06:06 Why Surface-Level Connection Isn’t Enough 08:04 How to Break the Pattern for Good

 

If you’re done settling for surface-level connections—or being the one who always “catches feelings” first—this is the episode for you.

💥 Ready to stop the cycle for good? Watch Hilary’s free masterclass for high-achieving women who want real, lasting love → http://hilarysilver.com/masterclass

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