#77: Why Can’t I Find Men At My Level?

You’ve got your life together: thriving career, financial independence, emotional intelligence, and yet your love life? A hot mess of emotionally unavailable, underemployed, or unstable men. What gives?

In this episode, Hilary calls it like it is: this pattern isn’t about the men. It’s about you. More specifically, your subconscious beliefs, unresolved self-worth issues, and fear of real intimacy.

Hilary breaks down 7 brutally honest reasons smart, successful women keep dating down—and how to stop. From choosing men who need you so they won’t leave, to settling for “projects” instead of partners, she gets to the root of why high-achieving women sabotage their own love lives.

 

Episode Highlights:

• Why you freeze (or flee) when a high-quality man actually shows up
• How caretaking can be a way of earning love when you don’t believe you’re enough
• The hidden fears that drive you to choose men who feel “safe” but drain you
• Why identity work, not another dating strategy, is the real key to change

 

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Why Smart Women Keep Dating Down

01:25 What “Dating Down” Really Means

03:10 Reason #1: Feeling Not Good Enough

05:06 Reason #2: Tying Your Worth to Being Needed

07:03 Reason #3: Fear of Abandonment

10:15 Reason #5: Fear of Real Intimacy

14:29 Reason #7: Dating from Loneliness

16:03 How to Break the Pattern for Good

 

Hilary doesn’t just name the problem, she offers the way out. Because when you stop outsourcing your worth, everything shifts.

Want the kind of love that matches the rest of your success? Start by becoming the version of you who actually believes she deserves it.

🔗 Learn more about Hilary’s Ready for Love program: http://hilarysilver.com/apply