#81: Attach Too Quickly? How to stop the Cycle of Disappointment

Wanting love and being ready for it aren’t the same thing. You might be on the apps, going on dates, even hiring a matchmaker—but if you keep finding yourself in the cycle of “hot and heavy” followed by fade and fizzle, the problem may be pacing. In this episode, Hilary unpacks the anxious dating behaviors that push love away and she lays out five concrete ways to date with emotional security rather than a sense of urgency. From keeping your schedule intact, to knowing when to hold back on texting or intimacy, Hilary shows you how to stop spiraling into fantasy and start building real connection—without losing yourself in the process. If you’ve ever skipped Pilates to wait for his call, or decided you were all-in by the third date, this conversation is your reset.    Episode Highlights: Wanting love vs. actually being ready for it — why they’re not the same The role of pacing and how falling too fast sabotages connection Matching his effort, not his potential, to avoid heartbreak   Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Are You Really Ready for Love? 03:27 The Pitfalls of Falling Too Fast 04:52 Five Ways Women Date with Confidence 05:03 Tip 1: Stay Focused on Your Own Life 06:05 Tip 2: Keep Early Dates Short and Intentional 07:08 Tip 3: Match His Effort, Not His Potential 07:51 Tip 4: Delay Physical Intimacy 09:15 Tip 5: Don't Build a Bond Over Text 10:08 Attracting Emotionally Available Men   Healthy, emotionally available men are attracted to confidence, patience, and balance—not eagerness or desperation. Date from security, and you’ll naturally filter out the wrong men while attracting the ones who are truly ready.   ✨ I’m Hilary Silver, LCSW, former psychotherapist turned master coach and founder of Ready for Love. I help high-achieving women show up in love as confidently as they do in their careers. 💡 Through this podcast, I share my WOMAN-centered, SELF-centered approach—time-tested methods that blend psychology, brain science, relationship skills, and no-BS dating advice. 🎙️ Since 2017, we’ve helped over 10,000 women with a 98% success rate, making Ready for Love the #1 program in the world for women who’ve tried everything else.   👉 Watch Hilary’s free masterclass: https://readyforloveinc.com/masterclass Or apply for a free breakthrough call with her team at https://readyforloveinc.com/apply