February 21, 2024 • 27 mins
Ever had that 'oh sh@!’ moment in a relationship when you wonder, 'Who is this person?' We're diving deep into the world of quirky and annoying pet peeves that our partners unleash on us. Join us today as we spill the beans on our secret pet peeves, all in the name of fostering a healthy dialogue. It's time to navigate through these amusing habits and equip our partners with the ultimate guide on how to gracefully work through them in the future. Get ready for a laughter-filled journey into the intricacies of love and annoying quirks – because relationships are all about embracing the 'oh-so-special' moments!
#PetPeeveReveal #LaughThroughLove #RelationshipHumor #HealthyDialogue #RelationshipPodcast
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
At some point in your marriage, you're
going to wake up one day and you're going to say, Oh, what did I do?
So today we're talking through some of those, Oh, moments of marriage.
They come at you fast. They come at you furious.
And I bet at least one of them is something your partner does,
or maybe you're the one that does it. Okay.
We all have pet peeves in our marriages.
(00:23):
And I think what's important and what we're we're trying to get at in this conversation,
this ramble, if you will, this rumble is that it's important to talk through
those things because inevitably there's going to be things that you do that's
going to piss off your partner.
I mean, it happens every single day. I know I do a lot of things that piss him off.
So many. I mean, the list is long, but we're not going to dive into all that today.
(00:45):
Today, what we're hoping to do is to dive a little bit deeper into some of those more,
oh, crap, crap oh moments in
your marriage it happened and i think a lot of it at
least for us happened when we had that
first year living together i think
it was like the first few weeks for me wow a few weeks in yeah okay well i mean
(01:08):
let's let's do this then i can't wait to reveal some of mine now caitlin has
no idea what i've picked i don't have you you totally know what mine are Well,
she's easy to predict sometimes.
So all the time. The point of all this is, is that these kind of more,
oh, crap, oh, shit moments are a deeper problem than just a pet peeve.
Because fundamentally, the other person doesn't think there's anything wrong with their behavior.
(01:34):
And so we're going to try to unlock that, unpack that a little bit.
Hopefully encourages you as you guys unpack some of your moments that happens
through your life. So my first one is the just one more thing cleaner and packer.
Justin loves to let's let's just take it back.
(01:55):
We've moved probably five times in our two years of marriage to cross country,
two cross country moves about three different jobs, West Coast to East Coast,
East Coast to West Coast and fun, multiple apartments moving in together.
We move and pack very differently. and
he is always analyzing what i'm
doing and how i'm packing as in
(02:17):
i actually move oh and pack
oh yes because i'm the one that takes too long apparently but
justin will be like okay tonight we are going to pack up the closet which then
turns into okay we're going to separate piles into goodwill what we're taking
what we're considering leaving behind etc etc and then Then it goes from, you know what?
(02:42):
We're on such a good roll right now. We are going to pack up the entire house.
Let's just pack up the entire house. And I'm thinking, oh, I thought we were just doing the closet.
Then all of a sudden it's 3 a.m. and it is...
All packed up granted it's all packed up and it's
done it's done but it's not what we
had discussed and i love a plan and it
(03:04):
was not the plan hold on time out this
this goes to a deeper thing and this isn't even on my list but with kaylin there
is a plan that is formulated it is written down in a document it is a holy document
and if anything goes awry if anything changes in the plan it's I lose my freaking
(03:24):
mind. Okay, great example.
This is a real example. Just the other day, I had a new iPhone.
And so we went to the iPhone store, went to the Apple store to go and we're
just going to go there to exchange it real quick. So we went to go exchange the iPhone.
Hold on, hold on. Let me finish the story. And so we go there and they're like,
hey, do you want us to set this up for you? And I'm like, oh, okay, that sounds fine.
(03:47):
And Kaylin's world slowly began to melt. because it wasn't on the radar to set
up the phone. It was our daughter's nap time.
I would have come prepared. I would have brought a stroller.
She was strapped to me anyway. All I hear is like, well, I don't have anything ready.
I'm not ready for a nap time. I'm not prepared. I'm not prepared for this.
(04:09):
I didn't know where to... The amount of... I could have counted on all my fingers
and all my toes and still had more to go.
The amount of times I heard, I didn't know this was part of the plan or this
was not part of the plan today. So when things don't go according to the plan, Kaylin freaks out.
That's my sidebar. Going back to me.
This is the way you pack. It's never the way we plan. It's like when you've
(04:32):
got momentum going down the hill, you want to keep going.
I know. You hit that point. But I wanted to go to bed.
You hit that point where you're like, okay, I can either stay up and just knock
this out and we are done, or I have to address this again the following day.
And sometimes it just feels easier to knock it out. Yeah.
Fair. So that's one of your big moments? Yeah, it just- What was the realization for you?
(04:55):
It was just really frustrating because, well, I think we pack very differently.
So you would like analyze my packing.
That is more frustrating, I think, than you staying up until all hours of the
night to pack up the whole house is you'd be like, well, why are you doing that?
And why are you doing that?
And so I think at one point when our first move, I was like,
go upstairs, pack your own stuff.
(05:17):
I'm going to pack my stuff. of it's fine
we'll probably have another cross-country move in like
another year so we'll be going through it all over again and
i will be questioning why i said i do in
the first place all right i'm gonna go with one okay this is one that really
struck me by surprise and i did not realize this until we had our daughter and
(05:38):
because it never really affected me before and then once we had a kid and i'm
working and i'm you know watching you know our daughter and then like i I had to get back to work.
And one of my big realizations was is that I was living with someone and I had no idea.
There's a famous chef by the name of Gordon Ramsay, who apparently I live with.
There is nothing simple about any meal that Kaylin cooks. And don't get me wrong. Do you complain?
(06:05):
Hold on. What did I just say? I just said, don't get me wrong. It's delicious.
But let's talk about this for a moment. moment sometimes i'll be like hey i'll
be working from home for a day or something can you watch you know our daughter
real quick okay yeah we'll do i'm just make something eat real quick great,
most people assume that's like a 15 maybe a 20 minute process and that includes
(06:26):
cooking it and then eating it i know at least i'm i'm sure i mean drop a comment
let us know i'm pretty sure most people would agree 15 20 minutes is like the
actual amount of time you would expect that to take.
Kaylin doesn't just make a meal. She makes like a preparation.
There's so much care and attention into every detail.
(06:52):
She can make a breakfast sandwich, but she's got to first toast the bread.
And then the bread has to be seasoned. And she's going to toast it once with
butter and then toast it again a second time with something else.
Then she's going to make the eggs, but she's going to fold the eggs in a particular way.
We've already gone through about seven different dishes. and then on top of
that, now that the egg is done and that the bread is done and she's already
cooked the sausage or she grilled the sausage for the breakfast sandwich,
(07:16):
then she's gonna have to make a dipping sauce for the sandwich and then she's gonna have to plate it.
Who uses a plate for every single meal?
She'll put it on a plate and then she'll eat and when she eats.
It takes forever. She is savoring every little bite that goes into her mouth.
I just don't inhale food the way you do. Because food is something that is there.
(07:39):
It's there to get you through the day. You consume it. You get the energy and you move on.
Steamed broccoli and chicken for you. I'm not, again, what I said.
This is not about me complaining.
This is me just saying it was one of those moments where I was like,
oh, wow. wow, I had no idea that a quick meal could take an hour and a half.
And yet it does. And it's because I live with Gordon Ramsay.
(08:02):
So that was one of those big moments. Yes, because when we were dating,
you were like working or like watching. No, working.
Yeah, I'm always working. While I was cooking. So it was never a problem.
But then suddenly when I'm having to watch the baby.
Now I need to turn into Rachel Ray in 30-minute meals. Yes, 30-minute meals or less.
(08:24):
Done but it's all good and and
and you know i i appreciate your cooking i
did great last night you did you do
you give me a time constraint it was like 47 minutes
no it wasn't close number three number three
the 3 a.m closet creeper we get back from our honeymoon or any trip oh it is
(08:47):
good it is our flights delayed you're exhausted you picked up the baggage you
drove drove home, you get to your house.
Not only does my husband have to go into every room and every closet and make
sure that nobody is around.
And has snuck into our house from some, Santa came in through the chimney,
(09:10):
even though we don't have a chimney and the ring cameras were on the whole time
and the doors have been locked.
But no, he must check every room, every bathroom, underneath the furniture.
You're bundling two together.
Yes, but this is the same thing. And then you have to unpack your suitcase.
And I'm all about unpacking your suitcase within like the first 24 hours of
(09:30):
being home, but it will be 3 a.m.
And you are unpacking your suitcase, I am sick because I cannot stay up late
that long. I want to hit the buzzer or something.
You can leave a suitcase packed for weeks.
Weeks. What are you talking about? Oh, what am I? No, you leave a suitcase packed
(09:53):
for days upon days. What are you talking about?
I've experienced that. I literally unpacked. We've done two cross-country moves.
It wasn't until i forced kaylin about a
month ago to go through a box that she didn't unpack
in our last move that she finally unpacked it okay that's moving that's not
like a trip suitcase situation i'm just painting the picture that you could
(10:16):
leave a suitcase this is my forever point oh he has to unpack everything and
start like the laundry it's like a whole ordeal and And I just want to go to bed.
I just want to go to bed and go to sleep.
Maybe eat a snack. Classic Kaylin.
Oh, but it drives me crazy. Have you noticed that your two pet peeves so far
(10:38):
are things you don't like because it requires you not to go to bed? Yeah.
I'm not ashamed of it. Moving on. Number four.
What's the mm-hmm for? Oh, I know what this one means. Do you know what this
one means? I know what this one means. It's called House Tetris.
Now, when you play a game of Tetris, you've played Tetris, right?
(11:02):
Yeah. You know, the little blocks are falling from the sky. I used to use it. Yeah. A range.
Now, when when the blocks are falling from the sky, this is what I'll what I'll
share is what you're trying to do is you're trying to find a place for everything
before time runs out. Right.
So the big block comes down and you got to put it in the corner and you get
the little L shaped block and you put that one right next to it because that makes sense.
(11:26):
Right. Like you You would put the L-shaped block next to it.
I know what Tetris means. Okay.
Well, our house is a game of Tetris. What do you mean?
Well, our house is a game of Tetris. I think everything in our house has a specific
way or there's a specific way that things go together, right?
Like you keep things that are in the kitchen in the kitchen.
(11:47):
You put things that are in the pantry in the pantry.
One of the things I've always taken pride on, and you might remember this,
is that there is a time you were in my apartment, I think, and I was looking for something.
You're like hey i'm looking for like no you were like in the other room you were
like in the other room and i and you said like
hey where is this yeah i'm like where's your scissors and then
what did i say you were like okay if you go to the
(12:07):
bins in the room go to
the left one second one down it should be right on
top in a blue box how nice was that so nice
it was nice so i think one of the the main things when
we got married as we shared previously we
we weren't exactly living in the
same place yeah we had two separate places for a moment in
(12:30):
time we were living two apartments basically so we
had to merge our lives and totally yet into one cohesive unit
and when we did that i think that was
a that was definitely one of those oh moments for
me because i live life in a a way that everything
has a place like i know where the stamps are located
(12:50):
right now i know where the red pair of scissors are
share where they should be located and one of the things i learned about living
with kaylin is that some things things don't live any place in fact there is
a drawer that you had in your dresser what was in that drawer it was like a
junk drawer a junk Junk drawer. And what was stored in this junk drawer?
(13:12):
Like cards I was given that I didn't want to throw in the trash.
It was just literally junk. Now, I don't think I've ever had a junk drawer in my entire life.
You doing okay over there? I might be crying. It's okay.
It's not something to cry about. I'm just saying, I think one of the things
that we- It's not your fault. I'm just horrible.
(13:33):
Now, but you think this is the crazy part about it is that we've talked about it.
And like, honestly, I think I've gotten much better about it because I was very,
you know, type A, things in a certain way.
I still get mad about it because like, okay, diaper bags, for instance,
they, they're, it's just like a bag and there's lots of pockets in it.
And I put things in the pockets, but he'll be like, where are the wipes?
(13:55):
And I'm like, they're in the diaper bag. Like it's a big. But where within the
diaper bag are the wipes?
It's like back right corner. They should be behind. He wants me to like remember everything.
And it's like, well, I packed the diaper bag. It's in there.
There's clothes in there. There's so many things in the diaper bag because you
can't find what you're looking for half the time.
(14:16):
But you're the one who insists on all these things in the diaper bag. You want to be prepared.
Yeah, I want to I want to be prepared, too. But like, then you give me all this
shit for like not knowing exactly where in the diaper bag the like wipes are. Like, I'm sorry.
And then I'll tell you where it is. And then you'll be like, it's not here.
(14:37):
And then I'll be like, OK, let me look. And then it's there.
So it wasn't where you said.
It was debatable oh well
to go back and okay yes justin has so
for me you are frustrated that i do not know where
everything is frustration it was just one of those like oh we're very so different
(14:58):
in this well and that's why i think when we moved into a home together and you
started to like okay we're unpacking and you'd be like i'm putting this here
and i'm like okay that's fine so it's not It's not going to be there next week.
No, it will be. I put things back.
You are. You've got to become much better about it. I think that was a big thing
(15:19):
for us, though, was we first, because we moved into, we had our separate places.
Then we ended up moving in to your place for a time period. For like a month.
And I felt like I was such a visitor at a hotel.
Oh, I mean, same. I had like a back closet. Okay, you had a very nice room.
You chose the closet. I was going to make room for you in the master closet.
(15:39):
I kept my clothes in a separate room from where I slept. He wanted this.
He asked for this.
All my stuff was shoved into a back room. You called it the servant's quarters.
It felt that way. It didn't have to be that way. It felt like I was going back
in time. I offered to make room.
So we lived there for a minute. We did. And then we moved to Florida,
(16:03):
but in an apartment that I set everything up.
I found and i went out there by myself because we're
work location with your parents right and so
gracious very helpful but we set up that place but
you felt like that place wasn't yours you set you set up the place so you had
unpacked it and your mom had gone with you shopping which was very sweet and
(16:23):
like got silverware and different things that we needed for the apartment and
like set up the bathroom so it wasn't like it didn't feel like ours it felt
like i was moving into to,
I don't know, it felt very old-fashioned, like,
oh, we got married and he prepared a place for me. That's how I do it.
He swept you off your feet and carried you in. But then when we moved into our
(16:43):
house- That was much better.
Then it was like, we're doing this together and we're picking out things together.
And it's like, does this make sense for this? And I let you kind of take the
lead on where it's going. What I think a lot was learned from that,
oh, moment of like, we are very different people in this.
So as we built that house together, other our first house we lived in
(17:04):
things were mutually agreed upon about what goes
where yeah and and we ever since then it's
been going it's been better better okay there's
always room for improvement okay this
is probably my favorite one so for the love of the game we are on our honeymoon
we are in hawaii it is a beautiful day i have planned out the itinerary i have
(17:29):
left left this day mostly free because Tom Brady is playing in a playoff game.
And I've been made well aware before we even go that this is a big deal. So I let go.
Him watch this game we are i think
we got some acai bowls acacia bowls as
your dad likes to call them and we were
(17:52):
watching the game outside were we
watching it outside i'm getting emotional outside by the
pool bar area it is
looking bad we walk away he is so grumpy he
is in such a bad this is for context this is the buccaneers first
the rams the year the rams won the super bowl and the
(18:12):
Bucs were down I think 20 something to like three
at the end of the half it it was bad and
then there was like a greatest comeback moment
situation and we're watching it and the Bucs score the go-ahead touchdown yes
with like 40 seconds left on the clock feels like they're gonna win Justin is
(18:34):
like separate from where I am because I can't look him in the eye because he's pissed.
Well, and then also Context, the bar that we're watching. Filled with Rams fans.
Which filled with Rams fans.
But we could have watched it in the hotel room, but no, we chose to watch it in public.
Anyway, so they lose.
It is like- No, we don't lose. We blow coverage on a deep shot from Matthew
(18:59):
Stafford, a Cooper cop, down the middle of the field for no reason.
And they set up a field goal with no time left on the clock,
and they kick it, and they eliminate the Bucs in the playoffs. It was terrible.
And then I'm pretty sure this is when like Tom Brady retired the first time.
Anyway, so we go about our day and he's like, well, it's over. It's fine.
(19:19):
Let's just, what can we do today? And I was like, I guess we can go on a hike. Like, let's go.
So I pick out a hike. It's like supposed to be fun with like,
you're crossing all these like water areas and like beautiful scenery and it's like romantic, right?
There's a waterfall. waterfall we get to the waterfall and he's he's hasn't
talked to me this entire walk or hike.
(19:43):
Like just keeps just gloomy just
so gloomy so gloomy and i'm like it's our honeymoon
like get over it there was a lot on
my mind when and it's so frustrating and
then i'm like looking at the waterfall and i'm like look how
beautiful and all he's thinking about is tom brady on our honeymoon we
didn't even have sex that night we went to
(20:04):
dinner and should i not
say that i don't care i had a lot on my mind he had a lot on his mind it was
just awful we went to dinner and he's staring at this beautiful sunset the food's
like not that great that night but he's still thinking about the stupid game
and it like ruined our honeymoon it was awful so like just don't,
(20:26):
Go on your honeymoon during football season, apparently, is the name of the
game. Or whatever sport. I think some context might be helpful.
What do you mean? So when Tom Brady lost the Super Bowl against the Philadelphia
Eagles. Oh, my God. No, now we're just going down a football route.
I think I thought about that game for about two weeks straight,
(20:46):
and I was just depressed.
I just, because we should have won that game. Okay.
I mean, who sits your best offensive player? Bill Belichick sat our best offensive
player while he was on the Patriots. Well, no, he's no longer on the Patriots.
And you lost against Nick Foles.
Okay. Nobody, nobody, everyone watching. Guys out there, feel me right now.
But, okay. Drop in the comments.
(21:08):
The funniest thing is like during our dating relationship, I should have known
this because we were watching a game at my house, which apparently they lost
every time we watched a game at my house. Oh my gosh. This is a thing.
Okay. scientifically proven she lived she lived i lived in anaheim she lived
a little bit farther down south than like the san juan area in california if
(21:30):
i was in san juan or in those zip codes.
The patriots slash the bucks always lost if i was in anaheim they always won
they've won multiple super bowls when i was in anaheim but like it was during
covid and his mom and brother were over so So this is Buccaneers versus the Chicago Bears.
This is the. How do you know this? How do you know this?
(21:52):
This is the game where Brady thought he had fourth down left and he didn't.
So we like, I'm like, come on over.
I'll make like chili and biscuits. It'll be like football night.
Fun, fun, fun. And I thought it was safe because the Bears, like there's no
way the Bears going to beat the Bucs.
Well they did so then we go on a walk
he is not talking to me I'm like what did I do what did
(22:14):
I say then he says goodbye it's awkward
he like barely kisses me it's weird I'm like the next day I'm like I guess we're
breaking up and his mom was so kindly because he wasn't there yet was or he
went to the bathroom like he usually does and his mom was like oh honey oh he
(22:34):
takes football very seriously.
Like when Tom Brady loses, Justin feels like he lost.
And I was like, oh, I don't understand this.
Okay, this is new. But I thought like our honeymoon would be different.
Anyway, his loss. I mean, so that was one of your your your moments.
(22:56):
Yeah, you got better, though, because then Tom Brady unretired and he promised
me promised me promised me that he wouldn't care as much if he lost.
And you got better. I was better. Not perfect, but better. I was also pregnant,
so I think his priorities had to change.
(23:17):
Better. I did go see a game.
You went with me to go see a Buccaneer game a week before you gave birth. Literally a week.
That's a story for another time. All right. Let's move on. Also,
you went through too much football talk. Okay.
We could do a whole podcast on Tom Brady. Okay, last one.
Post office never delivers on Sundays. I don't understand.
(23:40):
So I did a little experiment once. No, you didn't. I usually get the mail from the mailbox.
And now you know what this is.
And i started a little pile on a little drop area that we had but did he inform
me of this pile of mail that was mine i say you got mail no you didn't she said okay and this pile grew,
(24:04):
and this pile grew how many months four
months four months went by and kaylin
did not open a single piece of mail
it was all junk mail no some of it
was like well there's a couple that i flagged they
were important so what i started this is legitimately what i started to
do i would actually look at the mail and decide i think
(24:25):
this is important or not and if it was important i would just open it and if
not i just left it in that stack and i don't think you opened
that second until we had a move cross country probably then and
to this day so then once we moved and now we live in
arizona and once we moved here now i just opened her mail for
her do i get email you get tons of mail you
never informed me of this mail no need to anymore okay so
(24:46):
i mean it's a pretty pretty quick one but I mean it was one of those moments where like I
was so amazed that you were not I
mean listen I mean most of us everything's in email now we
check them but like sometimes you get bills and so I don't know I mean I mail
sucks these days you don't get anything nice it's just you owing people money
I don't know but still I check my mom's birthday cards those I check it and
I make sure that I shred every piece of mail that comes in that has very paranoid
(25:10):
about them very much so but you know I what I learned one of my moments was that.
She's just not going to check her mail and you know what i think what
we learned about a lot of these things is that like they're not
going to change we can't change these things about them
so how do you like love them through it and like
be okay with it we gotta accept yeah the person i
(25:30):
mean first of all listen you're if you're married then
you're you're in this right like i'm already stuck with her so you
know but i'm a great person if you're dating it's
one of those things where you have to ask yourself like hey is this actually a
deal breaker like most of the stuff we went through today i don't think anything like
nothing nothing's a deal breaker it's maybe maybe you're
you having a lack of understanding for tom brady but you know
(25:52):
i love him everything here is one of
those things was just it just is but the the point of it is is
that how do you get through it and it's about loving each other and having
that open communication yeah absolutely so and
i mean it's not like oh i need a divorce it's just
like oh this is annoying annoying yeah
and in the moment it might be super annoying like i'm
(26:12):
sure when we get back from vacation at 3a you
are at legitimately super annoyed that i have the closet light on and
i am putting my clothes away now she's in bed but i will continue to put my
things away but then you usually just laugh about the next day yeah because
i got some sleep if you if you give me sleep and food i'm usually happy moral
of the story you got to feed caitlin you got to rest her up and she's a happy
(26:34):
person happier person so.
So get anything else? I don't think so.
Well, love you. I love you too. Thank you everyone for, uh, for joining today.
If you like it, you can subscribe, click on the bell on YouTube, drop a comment.
That's always super helpful. Yeah. Follow us wherever you listen and leave a review.
(26:55):
We're on Instagram and tickety talk. Tickety talk. Yeah.
Outside of that, I'm Justin. Catch you soon.
At some point in your marriage, you're
going to wake up one day and you're going to say, Oh, what did I do?
So today we're talking through some of those, Oh, moments of marriage.
They come at you fast. They come at you furious.
And I bet at least one of them is something your partner does,
or maybe you're the one that does it. Okay.
We all have pet peeves in our marriages.
(00:23):
And I think what's important and what we're we're trying to get at in this conversation,
this ramble, if you will, this rumble is that it's important to talk through
those things because inevitably there's going to be things that you do that's
going to piss off your partner.
I mean, it happens every single day. I know I do a lot of things that piss him off.
So many. I mean, the list is long, but we're not going to dive into all that today.
(00:45):
Today, what we're hoping to do is to dive a little bit deeper into some of those more,
oh, crap, crap oh moments in
your marriage it happened and i think a lot of it at
least for us happened when we had that
first year living together i think
it was like the first few weeks for me wow a few weeks in yeah okay well i mean
(01:08):
let's let's do this then i can't wait to reveal some of mine now caitlin has
no idea what i've picked i don't have you you totally know what mine are Well,
she's easy to predict sometimes.
So all the time. The point of all this is, is that these kind of more,
oh, crap, oh, shit moments are a deeper problem than just a pet peeve.
Because fundamentally, the other person doesn't think there's anything wrong with their behavior.
(01:34):
And so we're going to try to unlock that, unpack that a little bit.
Hopefully encourages you as you guys unpack some of your moments that happens
through your life. So my first one is the just one more thing cleaner and packer.
Justin loves to let's let's just take it back.
(01:55):
We've moved probably five times in our two years of marriage to cross country,
two cross country moves about three different jobs, West Coast to East Coast,
East Coast to West Coast and fun, multiple apartments moving in together.
We move and pack very differently. and
he is always analyzing what i'm
doing and how i'm packing as in
(02:17):
i actually move oh and pack
oh yes because i'm the one that takes too long apparently but
justin will be like okay tonight we are going to pack up the closet which then
turns into okay we're going to separate piles into goodwill what we're taking
what we're considering leaving behind etc etc and then Then it goes from, you know what?
(02:42):
We're on such a good roll right now. We are going to pack up the entire house.
Let's just pack up the entire house. And I'm thinking, oh, I thought we were just doing the closet.
Then all of a sudden it's 3 a.m. and it is...
All packed up granted it's all packed up and it's
done it's done but it's not what we
had discussed and i love a plan and it
(03:04):
was not the plan hold on time out this
this goes to a deeper thing and this isn't even on my list but with kaylin there
is a plan that is formulated it is written down in a document it is a holy document
and if anything goes awry if anything changes in the plan it's I lose my freaking
(03:24):
mind. Okay, great example.
This is a real example. Just the other day, I had a new iPhone.
And so we went to the iPhone store, went to the Apple store to go and we're
just going to go there to exchange it real quick. So we went to go exchange the iPhone.
Hold on, hold on. Let me finish the story. And so we go there and they're like,
hey, do you want us to set this up for you? And I'm like, oh, okay, that sounds fine.
(03:47):
And Kaylin's world slowly began to melt. because it wasn't on the radar to set
up the phone. It was our daughter's nap time.
I would have come prepared. I would have brought a stroller.
She was strapped to me anyway. All I hear is like, well, I don't have anything ready.
I'm not ready for a nap time. I'm not prepared. I'm not prepared for this.
(04:09):
I didn't know where to... The amount of... I could have counted on all my fingers
and all my toes and still had more to go.
The amount of times I heard, I didn't know this was part of the plan or this
was not part of the plan today. So when things don't go according to the plan, Kaylin freaks out.
That's my sidebar. Going back to me.
This is the way you pack. It's never the way we plan. It's like when you've
(04:32):
got momentum going down the hill, you want to keep going.
I know. You hit that point. But I wanted to go to bed.
You hit that point where you're like, okay, I can either stay up and just knock
this out and we are done, or I have to address this again the following day.
And sometimes it just feels easier to knock it out. Yeah.
Fair. So that's one of your big moments? Yeah, it just- What was the realization for you?
(04:55):
It was just really frustrating because, well, I think we pack very differently.
So you would like analyze my packing.
That is more frustrating, I think, than you staying up until all hours of the
night to pack up the whole house is you'd be like, well, why are you doing that?
And why are you doing that?
And so I think at one point when our first move, I was like,
go upstairs, pack your own stuff.
(05:17):
I'm going to pack my stuff. of it's fine
we'll probably have another cross-country move in like
another year so we'll be going through it all over again and
i will be questioning why i said i do in
the first place all right i'm gonna go with one okay this is one that really
struck me by surprise and i did not realize this until we had our daughter and
(05:38):
because it never really affected me before and then once we had a kid and i'm
working and i'm you know watching you know our daughter and then like i I had to get back to work.
And one of my big realizations was is that I was living with someone and I had no idea.
There's a famous chef by the name of Gordon Ramsay, who apparently I live with.
There is nothing simple about any meal that Kaylin cooks. And don't get me wrong. Do you complain?
(06:05):
Hold on. What did I just say? I just said, don't get me wrong. It's delicious.
But let's talk about this for a moment. moment sometimes i'll be like hey i'll
be working from home for a day or something can you watch you know our daughter
real quick okay yeah we'll do i'm just make something eat real quick great,
most people assume that's like a 15 maybe a 20 minute process and that includes
(06:26):
cooking it and then eating it i know at least i'm i'm sure i mean drop a comment
let us know i'm pretty sure most people would agree 15 20 minutes is like the
actual amount of time you would expect that to take.
Kaylin doesn't just make a meal. She makes like a preparation.
There's so much care and attention into every detail.
(06:52):
She can make a breakfast sandwich, but she's got to first toast the bread.
And then the bread has to be seasoned. And she's going to toast it once with
butter and then toast it again a second time with something else.
Then she's going to make the eggs, but she's going to fold the eggs in a particular way.
We've already gone through about seven different dishes. and then on top of
that, now that the egg is done and that the bread is done and she's already
cooked the sausage or she grilled the sausage for the breakfast sandwich,
(07:16):
then she's gonna have to make a dipping sauce for the sandwich and then she's gonna have to plate it.
Who uses a plate for every single meal?
She'll put it on a plate and then she'll eat and when she eats.
It takes forever. She is savoring every little bite that goes into her mouth.
I just don't inhale food the way you do. Because food is something that is there.
(07:39):
It's there to get you through the day. You consume it. You get the energy and you move on.
Steamed broccoli and chicken for you. I'm not, again, what I said.
This is not about me complaining.
This is me just saying it was one of those moments where I was like,
oh, wow. wow, I had no idea that a quick meal could take an hour and a half.
And yet it does. And it's because I live with Gordon Ramsay.
(08:02):
So that was one of those big moments. Yes, because when we were dating,
you were like working or like watching. No, working.
Yeah, I'm always working. While I was cooking. So it was never a problem.
But then suddenly when I'm having to watch the baby.
Now I need to turn into Rachel Ray in 30-minute meals. Yes, 30-minute meals or less.
(08:24):
Done but it's all good and and
and you know i i appreciate your cooking i
did great last night you did you do
you give me a time constraint it was like 47 minutes
no it wasn't close number three number three
the 3 a.m closet creeper we get back from our honeymoon or any trip oh it is
(08:47):
good it is our flights delayed you're exhausted you picked up the baggage you
drove drove home, you get to your house.
Not only does my husband have to go into every room and every closet and make
sure that nobody is around.
And has snuck into our house from some, Santa came in through the chimney,
(09:10):
even though we don't have a chimney and the ring cameras were on the whole time
and the doors have been locked.
But no, he must check every room, every bathroom, underneath the furniture.
You're bundling two together.
Yes, but this is the same thing. And then you have to unpack your suitcase.
And I'm all about unpacking your suitcase within like the first 24 hours of
(09:30):
being home, but it will be 3 a.m.
And you are unpacking your suitcase, I am sick because I cannot stay up late
that long. I want to hit the buzzer or something.
You can leave a suitcase packed for weeks.
Weeks. What are you talking about? Oh, what am I? No, you leave a suitcase packed
(09:53):
for days upon days. What are you talking about?
I've experienced that. I literally unpacked. We've done two cross-country moves.
It wasn't until i forced kaylin about a
month ago to go through a box that she didn't unpack
in our last move that she finally unpacked it okay that's moving that's not
like a trip suitcase situation i'm just painting the picture that you could
(10:16):
leave a suitcase this is my forever point oh he has to unpack everything and
start like the laundry it's like a whole ordeal and And I just want to go to bed.
I just want to go to bed and go to sleep.
Maybe eat a snack. Classic Kaylin.
Oh, but it drives me crazy. Have you noticed that your two pet peeves so far
(10:38):
are things you don't like because it requires you not to go to bed? Yeah.
I'm not ashamed of it. Moving on. Number four.
What's the mm-hmm for? Oh, I know what this one means. Do you know what this
one means? I know what this one means. It's called House Tetris.
Now, when you play a game of Tetris, you've played Tetris, right?
(11:02):
Yeah. You know, the little blocks are falling from the sky. I used to use it. Yeah. A range.
Now, when when the blocks are falling from the sky, this is what I'll what I'll
share is what you're trying to do is you're trying to find a place for everything
before time runs out. Right.
So the big block comes down and you got to put it in the corner and you get
the little L shaped block and you put that one right next to it because that makes sense.
(11:26):
Right. Like you You would put the L-shaped block next to it.
I know what Tetris means. Okay.
Well, our house is a game of Tetris. What do you mean?
Well, our house is a game of Tetris. I think everything in our house has a specific
way or there's a specific way that things go together, right?
Like you keep things that are in the kitchen in the kitchen.
(11:47):
You put things that are in the pantry in the pantry.
One of the things I've always taken pride on, and you might remember this,
is that there is a time you were in my apartment, I think, and I was looking for something.
You're like hey i'm looking for like no you were like in the other room you were
like in the other room and i and you said like
hey where is this yeah i'm like where's your scissors and then
what did i say you were like okay if you go to the
(12:07):
bins in the room go to
the left one second one down it should be right on
top in a blue box how nice was that so nice
it was nice so i think one of the the main things when
we got married as we shared previously we
we weren't exactly living in the
same place yeah we had two separate places for a moment in
(12:30):
time we were living two apartments basically so we
had to merge our lives and totally yet into one cohesive unit
and when we did that i think that was
a that was definitely one of those oh moments for
me because i live life in a a way that everything
has a place like i know where the stamps are located
(12:50):
right now i know where the red pair of scissors are
share where they should be located and one of the things i learned about living
with kaylin is that some things things don't live any place in fact there is
a drawer that you had in your dresser what was in that drawer it was like a
junk drawer a junk Junk drawer. And what was stored in this junk drawer?
(13:12):
Like cards I was given that I didn't want to throw in the trash.
It was just literally junk. Now, I don't think I've ever had a junk drawer in my entire life.
You doing okay over there? I might be crying. It's okay.
It's not something to cry about. I'm just saying, I think one of the things
that we- It's not your fault. I'm just horrible.
(13:33):
Now, but you think this is the crazy part about it is that we've talked about it.
And like, honestly, I think I've gotten much better about it because I was very,
you know, type A, things in a certain way.
I still get mad about it because like, okay, diaper bags, for instance,
they, they're, it's just like a bag and there's lots of pockets in it.
And I put things in the pockets, but he'll be like, where are the wipes?
(13:55):
And I'm like, they're in the diaper bag. Like it's a big. But where within the
diaper bag are the wipes?
It's like back right corner. They should be behind. He wants me to like remember everything.
And it's like, well, I packed the diaper bag. It's in there.
There's clothes in there. There's so many things in the diaper bag because you
can't find what you're looking for half the time.
(14:16):
But you're the one who insists on all these things in the diaper bag. You want to be prepared.
Yeah, I want to I want to be prepared, too. But like, then you give me all this
shit for like not knowing exactly where in the diaper bag the like wipes are. Like, I'm sorry.
And then I'll tell you where it is. And then you'll be like, it's not here.
(14:37):
And then I'll be like, OK, let me look. And then it's there.
So it wasn't where you said.
It was debatable oh well
to go back and okay yes justin has so
for me you are frustrated that i do not know where
everything is frustration it was just one of those like oh we're very so different
(14:58):
in this well and that's why i think when we moved into a home together and you
started to like okay we're unpacking and you'd be like i'm putting this here
and i'm like okay that's fine so it's not It's not going to be there next week.
No, it will be. I put things back.
You are. You've got to become much better about it. I think that was a big thing
(15:19):
for us, though, was we first, because we moved into, we had our separate places.
Then we ended up moving in to your place for a time period. For like a month.
And I felt like I was such a visitor at a hotel.
Oh, I mean, same. I had like a back closet. Okay, you had a very nice room.
You chose the closet. I was going to make room for you in the master closet.
(15:39):
I kept my clothes in a separate room from where I slept. He wanted this.
He asked for this.
All my stuff was shoved into a back room. You called it the servant's quarters.
It felt that way. It didn't have to be that way. It felt like I was going back
in time. I offered to make room.
So we lived there for a minute. We did. And then we moved to Florida,
(16:03):
but in an apartment that I set everything up.
I found and i went out there by myself because we're
work location with your parents right and so
gracious very helpful but we set up that place but
you felt like that place wasn't yours you set you set up the place so you had
unpacked it and your mom had gone with you shopping which was very sweet and
(16:23):
like got silverware and different things that we needed for the apartment and
like set up the bathroom so it wasn't like it didn't feel like ours it felt
like i was moving into to,
I don't know, it felt very old-fashioned, like,
oh, we got married and he prepared a place for me. That's how I do it.
He swept you off your feet and carried you in. But then when we moved into our
(16:43):
house- That was much better.
Then it was like, we're doing this together and we're picking out things together.
And it's like, does this make sense for this? And I let you kind of take the
lead on where it's going. What I think a lot was learned from that,
oh, moment of like, we are very different people in this.
So as we built that house together, other our first house we lived in
(17:04):
things were mutually agreed upon about what goes
where yeah and and we ever since then it's
been going it's been better better okay there's
always room for improvement okay this
is probably my favorite one so for the love of the game we are on our honeymoon
we are in hawaii it is a beautiful day i have planned out the itinerary i have
(17:29):
left left this day mostly free because Tom Brady is playing in a playoff game.
And I've been made well aware before we even go that this is a big deal. So I let go.
Him watch this game we are i think
we got some acai bowls acacia bowls as
your dad likes to call them and we were
(17:52):
watching the game outside were we
watching it outside i'm getting emotional outside by the
pool bar area it is
looking bad we walk away he is so grumpy he
is in such a bad this is for context this is the buccaneers first
the rams the year the rams won the super bowl and the
(18:12):
Bucs were down I think 20 something to like three
at the end of the half it it was bad and
then there was like a greatest comeback moment
situation and we're watching it and the Bucs score the go-ahead touchdown yes
with like 40 seconds left on the clock feels like they're gonna win Justin is
(18:34):
like separate from where I am because I can't look him in the eye because he's pissed.
Well, and then also Context, the bar that we're watching. Filled with Rams fans.
Which filled with Rams fans.
But we could have watched it in the hotel room, but no, we chose to watch it in public.
Anyway, so they lose.
It is like- No, we don't lose. We blow coverage on a deep shot from Matthew
(18:59):
Stafford, a Cooper cop, down the middle of the field for no reason.
And they set up a field goal with no time left on the clock,
and they kick it, and they eliminate the Bucs in the playoffs. It was terrible.
And then I'm pretty sure this is when like Tom Brady retired the first time.
Anyway, so we go about our day and he's like, well, it's over. It's fine.
(19:19):
Let's just, what can we do today? And I was like, I guess we can go on a hike. Like, let's go.
So I pick out a hike. It's like supposed to be fun with like,
you're crossing all these like water areas and like beautiful scenery and it's like romantic, right?
There's a waterfall. waterfall we get to the waterfall and he's he's hasn't
talked to me this entire walk or hike.
(19:43):
Like just keeps just gloomy just
so gloomy so gloomy and i'm like it's our honeymoon
like get over it there was a lot on
my mind when and it's so frustrating and
then i'm like looking at the waterfall and i'm like look how
beautiful and all he's thinking about is tom brady on our honeymoon we
didn't even have sex that night we went to
(20:04):
dinner and should i not
say that i don't care i had a lot on my mind he had a lot on his mind it was
just awful we went to dinner and he's staring at this beautiful sunset the food's
like not that great that night but he's still thinking about the stupid game
and it like ruined our honeymoon it was awful so like just don't,
(20:26):
Go on your honeymoon during football season, apparently, is the name of the
game. Or whatever sport. I think some context might be helpful.
What do you mean? So when Tom Brady lost the Super Bowl against the Philadelphia
Eagles. Oh, my God. No, now we're just going down a football route.
I think I thought about that game for about two weeks straight,
(20:46):
and I was just depressed.
I just, because we should have won that game. Okay.
I mean, who sits your best offensive player? Bill Belichick sat our best offensive
player while he was on the Patriots. Well, no, he's no longer on the Patriots.
And you lost against Nick Foles.
Okay. Nobody, nobody, everyone watching. Guys out there, feel me right now.
But, okay. Drop in the comments.
(21:08):
The funniest thing is like during our dating relationship, I should have known
this because we were watching a game at my house, which apparently they lost
every time we watched a game at my house. Oh my gosh. This is a thing.
Okay. scientifically proven she lived she lived i lived in anaheim she lived
a little bit farther down south than like the san juan area in california if
(21:30):
i was in san juan or in those zip codes.
The patriots slash the bucks always lost if i was in anaheim they always won
they've won multiple super bowls when i was in anaheim but like it was during
covid and his mom and brother were over so So this is Buccaneers versus the Chicago Bears.
This is the. How do you know this? How do you know this?
(21:52):
This is the game where Brady thought he had fourth down left and he didn't.
So we like, I'm like, come on over.
I'll make like chili and biscuits. It'll be like football night.
Fun, fun, fun. And I thought it was safe because the Bears, like there's no
way the Bears going to beat the Bucs.
Well they did so then we go on a walk
he is not talking to me I'm like what did I do what did
(22:14):
I say then he says goodbye it's awkward
he like barely kisses me it's weird I'm like the next day I'm like I guess we're
breaking up and his mom was so kindly because he wasn't there yet was or he
went to the bathroom like he usually does and his mom was like oh honey oh he
(22:34):
takes football very seriously.
Like when Tom Brady loses, Justin feels like he lost.
And I was like, oh, I don't understand this.
Okay, this is new. But I thought like our honeymoon would be different.
Anyway, his loss. I mean, so that was one of your your your moments.
(22:56):
Yeah, you got better, though, because then Tom Brady unretired and he promised
me promised me promised me that he wouldn't care as much if he lost.
And you got better. I was better. Not perfect, but better. I was also pregnant,
so I think his priorities had to change.
(23:17):
Better. I did go see a game.
You went with me to go see a Buccaneer game a week before you gave birth. Literally a week.
That's a story for another time. All right. Let's move on. Also,
you went through too much football talk. Okay.
We could do a whole podcast on Tom Brady. Okay, last one.
Post office never delivers on Sundays. I don't understand.
(23:40):
So I did a little experiment once. No, you didn't. I usually get the mail from the mailbox.
And now you know what this is.
And i started a little pile on a little drop area that we had but did he inform
me of this pile of mail that was mine i say you got mail no you didn't she said okay and this pile grew,
(24:04):
and this pile grew how many months four
months four months went by and kaylin
did not open a single piece of mail
it was all junk mail no some of it
was like well there's a couple that i flagged they
were important so what i started this is legitimately what i started to
do i would actually look at the mail and decide i think
(24:25):
this is important or not and if it was important i would just open it and if
not i just left it in that stack and i don't think you opened
that second until we had a move cross country probably then and
to this day so then once we moved and now we live in
arizona and once we moved here now i just opened her mail for
her do i get email you get tons of mail you
never informed me of this mail no need to anymore okay so
(24:46):
i mean it's a pretty pretty quick one but I mean it was one of those moments where like I
was so amazed that you were not I
mean listen I mean most of us everything's in email now we
check them but like sometimes you get bills and so I don't know I mean I mail
sucks these days you don't get anything nice it's just you owing people money
I don't know but still I check my mom's birthday cards those I check it and
I make sure that I shred every piece of mail that comes in that has very paranoid
(25:10):
about them very much so but you know I what I learned one of my moments was that.
She's just not going to check her mail and you know what i think what
we learned about a lot of these things is that like they're not
going to change we can't change these things about them
so how do you like love them through it and like
be okay with it we gotta accept yeah the person i
(25:30):
mean first of all listen you're if you're married then
you're you're in this right like i'm already stuck with her so you
know but i'm a great person if you're dating it's
one of those things where you have to ask yourself like hey is this actually a
deal breaker like most of the stuff we went through today i don't think anything like
nothing nothing's a deal breaker it's maybe maybe you're
you having a lack of understanding for tom brady but you know
(25:52):
i love him everything here is one of
those things was just it just is but the the point of it is is
that how do you get through it and it's about loving each other and having
that open communication yeah absolutely so and
i mean it's not like oh i need a divorce it's just
like oh this is annoying annoying yeah
and in the moment it might be super annoying like i'm
(26:12):
sure when we get back from vacation at 3a you
are at legitimately super annoyed that i have the closet light on and
i am putting my clothes away now she's in bed but i will continue to put my
things away but then you usually just laugh about the next day yeah because
i got some sleep if you if you give me sleep and food i'm usually happy moral
of the story you got to feed caitlin you got to rest her up and she's a happy
(26:34):
person happier person so.
So get anything else? I don't think so.
Well, love you. I love you too. Thank you everyone for, uh, for joining today.
If you like it, you can subscribe, click on the bell on YouTube, drop a comment.
That's always super helpful. Yeah. Follow us wherever you listen and leave a review.
(26:55):
We're on Instagram and tickety talk. Tickety talk. Yeah.
Outside of that, I'm Justin. Catch you soon.
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